BRAND SPANKIN' NEW GREEN BASS LINE...
[video=youtube;z5rRZdiu1UE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5rRZdiu1UE[/video]
For the first time in the history of science and romance, the greatest song ever composed plays under the banners of the green brand! The inaugural UWF Velocity audience explodes in a deafening chorus of praise and adulation as THE American Dolphins – the single greatest tag team ever tagged and surefire next UWF Tag Team Champions sprint out on to the stage. Children scream so loud that several of them suffer immediate tonsilitis. Their mothers are too busy weepin with joy too notice. Fans of all ages and creeds rush to ringside in order to more closely bask in the presence of the enigmatic and alltogehter majestic tandem. Some will later claim to have temporarily been blinded by the magnificent aura – the pure sheen of gloriousness eminating from the faces of the Dolphins. The duo slides sterowise into the ring and proceed to pose on opposing turnbuckles as the crowd continues to hail them as saviour kings arrived to conquer an oppressive and tyrannical reign of monotony and dreaded commonplace. With mics appearing seemingly out of nowehere – perhaps gifts from celestials not visible to the mortal eye – they finally address their people.
THE Brian Kendrick: UWF Velocity! The emerald gem, centerpiece in the new tiara of the goddess of the wrestling universe. Welcome one and all to the promised future – gleaming as the Emerald City of Oz did, an oasis of awe in a tedious world, pouring of magical hope for all those brave enough to dare to enter. And enter you have, brothers and sisters. Into this strange new landscape you wander, with THE American Dolphins here to guide you into a new era. An old creation burns with a better one rising from the ashes. We will pilot this phoenix towards the new sunrise of destiny, finally out of the long and suffocating darkness of winter and to the peaks of Mount Zion. The call of heavenly horns has resounded. Wind and flood and flame have vanquished what was known and now, on the desolate landscape we will build our empire. We see this cleansed, white wall for what is and as artists and philosophers, yes as free souls, we will paint a new world – an order from chaors – a poem from the babbling, scattered words of those whoever doubted that despite all distractions and oppositions, THE American Dolphins would cease in their quest to win the UWF Tag Team Championships.
And this is where we start – THE Brian Kendrick and “The Intrepid Traveller†Paul Lonodon – right here on UWF Velocity's birthnight. Some have deemed this programme “fillerâ€, given it the moniker of the “third brandâ€, and reserved it for the home of misfits and losers who have no place amongst the stars of the red and blue colours. I tell you truthfully though, that no matter what night we come out here, no matter what colour the ropes are or who we face inside of them, we will not fail in our quest of dominance. We seek only to win the gold and restore to it a long, lost honour. There are two sets of tag team titles and we will claim both of them as our own. Every night that passes, every opponent we pin is just one most simple step we take ascending the mountain. We will reach the summit and sit on the throne and the eagles will soar over us, screeching our names as you do now.
The crowd responds in a massive round of cheers and applause. Some cheer so hard their noses begin to bleed. They do not stop despite this. As was with Stalin's reign in the USSR, each member of the audience refuses to be seen as the first to stop clapping. Regardless, Paul London eventually raises his mics and continues.
Paul London: THE Brian and I fell like its pretty obvious that we're the clear cut contendors for the belts here, and we know that you guys all know that too – obviously. I think we've racked up enough credentials to make a cause for a title shot as soon as possible, but then again, we recognize that there's a certain order to these things. A law... of... nature... if you will... and you shoudld... like, how every little ant has a roll to fill in the ant hill. Some little ants are workers, digging those tiny tunnels so everyone can get around and do their thing. Some little ants are scavengers, hunting around for foor, fiding little bits of toast and gum and other dead bugs and hauling them back ever so impressively to to hill so that the fam can have supper that night. Some little ants are soldiers, defending the hill and fighting off all the invaders, giving their very lives to defend thier own. And one slightly les little ant is the queen, who has the noble duties of both rulership and mass birthing. Each of them has a roll to fill, a job to do, and they all know it.
But I saw the movie Antz, in fact, I've seen in one and a half times – once in theatres several years ago and then half again when I was housesitting abroad, and I realized something. Sometimes, you have to break free from that order. Sometimes, you have to risk a dream. Sometimes, you have to dare to belive.
THE Brian Kendrick and I have hazarded to step outside the realm of restrictions and class placements. We've been given matches at the bottoms of cards against opponents nobody cares about, we've been given worthy opponents and beaten them and nobody seems to notice. And we're expected to sti back and enjoy this spot here, to bide our time, be patient, wait and line and “see what comes upâ€. Nature. Ha! I laugh in its face. Like a drunk uncle dressed up like a clown for your birthday, I laugh and I laugh and I laugh, because I know about the tricks up my sleeve. Our sleeve – we share it, us THE American Dolphins, and they sure are something. Something dangerous, and thrilling, and horrible, but mezmerizing all the while. Fear not though, my sweet peaches, for these tricks won't be our secrets to keep, not for long anyway – we will unleash them, like the dinosaurs upon the first island of Jurassic Park, they will break free and roam around and eat things and be violent and bloody and amazing. Its gonna be like, so cool and stuff.
THE Brian Kendrick: So totally cool.
Paul London: You won't even know what hit you, even though you know you should have known about it now that we've told you. And that goes double for you Matt Hardy.
I know you're out there somewhere right now, probably just waiting for the right moment to come out here, talk up your big debut, say we're weird, that we don't talk good sense and that you probably beat one or both of us up like six years ago. Well we're happy to welcome you to 2013 sunshine, to the year of the THE American Dolphins. So buckle that tummy in homie, cause its gonna get real, really quick here. I'm talking torando kicks and flip moves and concussive nightmare half nelson-based manuvers ahoy.
THE Brian Kendrick: And after my soul brother makes another statement buyring you in the canvas, we're all to ready to start taking out whatever tag teams management needs us to beat to show them that there isn't a single tag team in this company that comes close to the noise. THE American Dolphin noise. Let me here ya do it!
Every single member of the audience and many at home begin to make the funny dolphin chirp sound whilst waving their arms around like little flippers. All dolphins in the ocean do the same, in a truly amazing sign of support and solidarity.
[video=youtube;z5rRZdiu1UE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5rRZdiu1UE[/video]
For the first time in the history of science and romance, the greatest song ever composed plays under the banners of the green brand! The inaugural UWF Velocity audience explodes in a deafening chorus of praise and adulation as THE American Dolphins – the single greatest tag team ever tagged and surefire next UWF Tag Team Champions sprint out on to the stage. Children scream so loud that several of them suffer immediate tonsilitis. Their mothers are too busy weepin with joy too notice. Fans of all ages and creeds rush to ringside in order to more closely bask in the presence of the enigmatic and alltogehter majestic tandem. Some will later claim to have temporarily been blinded by the magnificent aura – the pure sheen of gloriousness eminating from the faces of the Dolphins. The duo slides sterowise into the ring and proceed to pose on opposing turnbuckles as the crowd continues to hail them as saviour kings arrived to conquer an oppressive and tyrannical reign of monotony and dreaded commonplace. With mics appearing seemingly out of nowehere – perhaps gifts from celestials not visible to the mortal eye – they finally address their people.
THE Brian Kendrick: UWF Velocity! The emerald gem, centerpiece in the new tiara of the goddess of the wrestling universe. Welcome one and all to the promised future – gleaming as the Emerald City of Oz did, an oasis of awe in a tedious world, pouring of magical hope for all those brave enough to dare to enter. And enter you have, brothers and sisters. Into this strange new landscape you wander, with THE American Dolphins here to guide you into a new era. An old creation burns with a better one rising from the ashes. We will pilot this phoenix towards the new sunrise of destiny, finally out of the long and suffocating darkness of winter and to the peaks of Mount Zion. The call of heavenly horns has resounded. Wind and flood and flame have vanquished what was known and now, on the desolate landscape we will build our empire. We see this cleansed, white wall for what is and as artists and philosophers, yes as free souls, we will paint a new world – an order from chaors – a poem from the babbling, scattered words of those whoever doubted that despite all distractions and oppositions, THE American Dolphins would cease in their quest to win the UWF Tag Team Championships.
And this is where we start – THE Brian Kendrick and “The Intrepid Traveller†Paul Lonodon – right here on UWF Velocity's birthnight. Some have deemed this programme “fillerâ€, given it the moniker of the “third brandâ€, and reserved it for the home of misfits and losers who have no place amongst the stars of the red and blue colours. I tell you truthfully though, that no matter what night we come out here, no matter what colour the ropes are or who we face inside of them, we will not fail in our quest of dominance. We seek only to win the gold and restore to it a long, lost honour. There are two sets of tag team titles and we will claim both of them as our own. Every night that passes, every opponent we pin is just one most simple step we take ascending the mountain. We will reach the summit and sit on the throne and the eagles will soar over us, screeching our names as you do now.
The crowd responds in a massive round of cheers and applause. Some cheer so hard their noses begin to bleed. They do not stop despite this. As was with Stalin's reign in the USSR, each member of the audience refuses to be seen as the first to stop clapping. Regardless, Paul London eventually raises his mics and continues.
Paul London: THE Brian and I fell like its pretty obvious that we're the clear cut contendors for the belts here, and we know that you guys all know that too – obviously. I think we've racked up enough credentials to make a cause for a title shot as soon as possible, but then again, we recognize that there's a certain order to these things. A law... of... nature... if you will... and you shoudld... like, how every little ant has a roll to fill in the ant hill. Some little ants are workers, digging those tiny tunnels so everyone can get around and do their thing. Some little ants are scavengers, hunting around for foor, fiding little bits of toast and gum and other dead bugs and hauling them back ever so impressively to to hill so that the fam can have supper that night. Some little ants are soldiers, defending the hill and fighting off all the invaders, giving their very lives to defend thier own. And one slightly les little ant is the queen, who has the noble duties of both rulership and mass birthing. Each of them has a roll to fill, a job to do, and they all know it.
But I saw the movie Antz, in fact, I've seen in one and a half times – once in theatres several years ago and then half again when I was housesitting abroad, and I realized something. Sometimes, you have to break free from that order. Sometimes, you have to risk a dream. Sometimes, you have to dare to belive.
THE Brian Kendrick and I have hazarded to step outside the realm of restrictions and class placements. We've been given matches at the bottoms of cards against opponents nobody cares about, we've been given worthy opponents and beaten them and nobody seems to notice. And we're expected to sti back and enjoy this spot here, to bide our time, be patient, wait and line and “see what comes upâ€. Nature. Ha! I laugh in its face. Like a drunk uncle dressed up like a clown for your birthday, I laugh and I laugh and I laugh, because I know about the tricks up my sleeve. Our sleeve – we share it, us THE American Dolphins, and they sure are something. Something dangerous, and thrilling, and horrible, but mezmerizing all the while. Fear not though, my sweet peaches, for these tricks won't be our secrets to keep, not for long anyway – we will unleash them, like the dinosaurs upon the first island of Jurassic Park, they will break free and roam around and eat things and be violent and bloody and amazing. Its gonna be like, so cool and stuff.
THE Brian Kendrick: So totally cool.
Paul London: You won't even know what hit you, even though you know you should have known about it now that we've told you. And that goes double for you Matt Hardy.
I know you're out there somewhere right now, probably just waiting for the right moment to come out here, talk up your big debut, say we're weird, that we don't talk good sense and that you probably beat one or both of us up like six years ago. Well we're happy to welcome you to 2013 sunshine, to the year of the THE American Dolphins. So buckle that tummy in homie, cause its gonna get real, really quick here. I'm talking torando kicks and flip moves and concussive nightmare half nelson-based manuvers ahoy.
THE Brian Kendrick: And after my soul brother makes another statement buyring you in the canvas, we're all to ready to start taking out whatever tag teams management needs us to beat to show them that there isn't a single tag team in this company that comes close to the noise. THE American Dolphin noise. Let me here ya do it!
Every single member of the audience and many at home begin to make the funny dolphin chirp sound whilst waving their arms around like little flippers. All dolphins in the ocean do the same, in a truly amazing sign of support and solidarity.
*
