UWF Velocity 2/22/14 - Goldust vs EC3

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The Hoov

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The scene opens on a view of the big Hollywood sign in Los Angeles. The camera then zooms out and turns to the right slightly to reveal the “Bizarre One” Goldust standing by, which gets a big pop from the crowd watching. He then inhales before speaking.

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Goldust: *inhales* “I don't want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me.” The Departed. 2006. These are the glorious hills of Hollywood......my place of birth.....The place that I call home.....at least in my physical realm. To tell you the truth, one is never truly homeless because....don't we all create for ourselves our own paradise in the deepest corners of our own sanity? When pushed to the edge......you can either slip and fall into the deep, dark abyss.....or you can dig your feet in the dirt and take a stand. The Royal Rumble wasn't the greatest night of my career.....but I proved a point nonetheless. My baby brother Cody will......never......be the same after what we went through. But.....my foe for the next edition of Velocity......Mr. Ethan Carter the Third.....he might think he has a cakewalk ahead of him......No, no.....don't worry your pretty little head, Ethan. You see, these golden bones indeed do ache......oh Ethan......they ache but they ache.....for you......

Goldust rubs on his body as he closes his eyes and inhales once more. He then tilts his head down and looks back into the camera.

Goldust: Your gorgeous friend Faaaan......Daaaaaan......Gooooo......he was quite the remarkable specimen when we faced off in that ring not too long ago but, my mind was elsewhere and that allowed him to get the better of me. Not to be the.....Debbie Downer.....but now my mind is focused on the task at hand....and that's our little....play-date......Velocity. Some may look at this as the red-headed stepchild of the UWF but I......see......what no one else sees. I see potential. Some of the greatest cinematic masterpieces started out with little to no critical appraise. Every magnificent opus begins with a lukewarm first impression.....but Ethan.....after the people witness what my ravenous instincts will do to you at Velocity......Velocity will be must-see television. Your precious stock in the company will rise......and it will come in handy......when you have to spend it on hospital bills......

Goldust then picks up a scene clapper from out of nowhere and holds it as he continues speaking.

Goldust: Please.....I beg you......bring Mr. Fancypants down to the ring with you.......I'd love to include a flashback in my movie. Mr. Carter, don't you worry......you'll be getting top billing in my little independent feature.....It just might make the greatest hits volume. Oh Ethan......your money won't buy you out of this. Your facade....Derrick....won't save you from the pain I will unleash onto you. “”When you decide to be something, you can be it. That's what they don't tell you in the church. When I was your age they would say we can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?” Time ticks away, Ethan. It's almost time for the fun to begin......”Good, Bad, I'm the guy with the gun.” Lights.....Cameras......Action.......

Goldust snarls at the camera, cracks the clapper and, as it fades to black, the camera zooms back on the Hollywood sign.
 

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Ladies and Gentlemen,

E

C

3




Ethan Carter The Third's music hits and the crowd collectively boos the arrogant World Tag Team Champion as he comes out to the ring in a suit and shades on. Unfazed by the crowd, EC3 fixes his suit and struts down to the ring with his World Tag Team Championship across his shoulder. Once he reaches the ring, he orders an official to open the ropes for him as gets into the ring and then tells the same official to run over and grab him a mic which he does.

Ethan Carter the Third
Whoa whoa whoa hold on a second. Does Goldust think just because he stands in front of a sign, he’s a product of Hollywood? First of all, I don’t star in independent features. I’m strictly blockbuster. And secondly, let me tell you something bro, just because I put a band-aid on my cut, that doesn’t make me a doctor. I got A-list caliber famous people begging to hang with me but I say look, I know you’re the next Batman, but I personally know The Bate Man and you’re just not that interesting to me Ben. I turned down Ellen Page and since she knew she could never have the greatest man on earth, she turned to girls. That’s the kind of power I have Goldie. And I did that inadvertently. I don’t even want to fight you. I want you nowhere near me. Who knows what I’ll do to you inadvertently as well.

The crowd boos Ethan but he doesn’t pay the crowd any attention.

Or maybe I’ll choose to send you a message instead. It’s people like you who lower the value of Smackdown. Fandango and I were the number one draft for Smackdown and instead of Smackdown shooting up in the ratings like it did in the initial weeks we started there, it’s lowered because of trash like you and Shark Boy and those dirty hobo’s we beat last month. Maybe Fandango and I should be looking to eliminate all the filth in UWF. But then that means all that will be left is us. That sounds like riveting television to me!


Ethan has a big smile on his face as he’s poking fun at the crowd but they aren’t having any of it as the boo him louder than before.

If you want to make a movie Goldie, that’s your movie right there. The One Percent beating everyone senseless, including you. Or just a 3 hour masterpiece that’s just Fandango and myself tanning on the beach. Although you’d have to not be there for that one. I just wouldn't feel comfortable as would no one else but hey, look at the bright side, you get the honor of coming up with the idea for the greatest movie ever. This recent run must be like heaven for you. You just can't seem to stay away from Fandango and myself but don't worry bro, I'll make sure you'll always be reminded of just how out of your league you are when you step in the ring with The One Percent.

Ethan flashes his pearly whites as the crowd boos viciously. His smile soon turns to a frown when...