UWF: THE RUNDOWN
2/4/14 EDITION
FOR ENHANCED EXPERIENCE, READ WHILE LISTENING TO MF DOOM OR WU-TANG CLAN TUNES
#1 DEAN AMBROSE
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE~!
#2 DANIEL BRYAN
Sure, he came out second best in The Royal Rumble, but there's not doubt that is was a sooooooooooper close second. Plus, The American Dragon defeated arch-nemesis Christopher Daniels on Raw to become the one and only European Champion. While his current health is now in question, Bryan had himself a stellar week. This also marks the first time in over six months that two Raw superstars have taken the top two places on The RUNDOWN.
#3 M.V.P.
Montel Vontavius Porter did the impossible at the Rumble when he scaled Mount Morgan (beat Matt Morgan). Not two weeks ago, it was said that nobody could ever take out Morgan, not even if they tried their very hardest. F the haters. Mr. 305 (not Pitbull) proved that he ain't got time for the disbelievers as he won his title back and reclaimed the blue brand throne. His success can likely be attributed to the good juju he got on his chi when he joined John Morrison and The Miz for an inspiring warm-up interview on The Royal Rumble Pre-Show.
#4 SHAWN MICHAELS
It is beyond any of us here at The RUNDOWN how Tyson Kidd still isn't champion, but credit where it's due. HBK once again retained his World Heavyweight Championship in an epic bout that had a one-song sound track called Sweet Chin Music. Ric Flair was also there, being old and drunkish.
#5 EDDIE GUERRERO
It might not have been pretty. It might not have been fair. It might not have even been legal. One thing it most certainly was, though, was heart-wrenching, and also mind-blowing, and also gut-twisting and face-melting and maybe even toe-stepping. Eddie Guerrero once again beat Kane to hold on to the Global Championship. The bout saw run-ins from family members Chavo and The Undertaker, as well as a mysterious masked man, all of whom seemed much more interested in Eddie winning than The Big Red Machine. Where Kane's friend's at anyway? Maybe he's not the most approachable guy, but its not like Eddie's that personable either, right? Right. Careful who you hang out with kids.
#6 THE DUDLEY BOYZ
Not too shabby of a week for two of UWF's four tag team champions. After retaining their titles against the SHIELD on Raw, Bubba and the Reverend went on to participate in the Rags to Riches and Royal Rumble matches, respectively. While D'von had a strong showing, he wasn't able to pull off the big win. Bubba, however, scored himself a briefcase. Rumour has it that once he figures out how to open it, he's got some very special plans for what's inside.
#7 CODY RHODES
It appears that the Rhodes family feud may have been settled, with the younger sibling coming out on the top side heading into Wrestlemania season. Dirtsheets are now reporting that Rhodes will be taking on Sandow at the grandaddy pay-per-view for the rights to decide what the 24th flavour in Dr. Pepper should be.
#8 FANDANGO / THE UNDERTAKER / UMAGA
These three were all successful in capturing briefcases in the Feast or Fired match, although it is unclear at this point which one won which. As far as trios sharing a spot on The RUNDOWN go, you couldn't really ask for a more diverse group than this. It's almost like the start to a joke - so a flamboyantly homosexual tango dancer, a zombified mortician / biker and a sumo-wrestling Samoan cannibal walk into a bar...
#9 HULK HOGAN
His Rumble appearance may not have been the most memorable of his storied career, but the Hulkster still did defend his Transatomic Championship against three of Raw's young up can comers (or whatever) on the red brand's go-home show. Hogan may well be looking to unify his title with some other title heading into the Mania season. That could be cool. Its often been said (by cool guys like Jim Cornette and Gene Kiniski) that less is more when it comes to championships anyway.
#10 AJ STYLES
A big brand-vs.-brand tag team win in Raw's main event, impressive as it was, didn't give the Phenomenal One quite enough Momentum to take the win at the Rumble, although he did make the final four. The Hardcore Champion looks to moving closer and closer to a full time return to the main event scene on Smackdown now, but what the fans really want to know is, when will he get a haircut?
#11 REYMIEN SANDOW
Sandow was one of the top-runner-ups in the Royal Rumble, and a favourite to win going in. He would have gotten away with it to, if it weren't for those mediting kids.
----------
FRANK MIR'S MATCH OF THE WEEK
----------
THE ROYAL RUMBLE
WRITTEN BY: SBS
----------
UPCOMING CARDS
----------
UWF SLAMMY AWARDS SHOW - 2/11/14
http://wrestlingsmarks.com/threads/2014-uwf-slammy-awards-preview.72573/
VELOCITY AKA THE ST. VALENTINE'S DAY MASSACRE - 2/14/14
http://wrestlingsmarks.com/threads/uwf-velocity-2-14-14-card.72575/
----------
THE LATEST SHIZ
----------
THE ROYAL RUMBLE
http://wrestlingsmarks.com/threads/uwf-presents-the-2014-royal-rumble.72570/#post-940937
Read this noise! And then comment, let the writers know you appreciate them and stuff, otherwise you're a tool.
Chillin' With Chase
http://wrestlingsmarks.com/threads/chillin-with-chase-official-thread.68223/page-31
Retrospectively listen to the Rumble Preydictions and have the time of your life so far.
UWF- Did You Know?
http://wrestlingsmarks.com/threads/uwf-did-you-know.67017/page-4
Did you know that this thread is back from the dead?
----------
TEA TIME WITH WILLIAM REGAL
----------
Camomile.
----------
CELEBRITY QUESTION OF THE WEEK
----------
This week, The RUNDOWN is excited to announced that our guest will be world-renowned figure skater and Olympic champion, Brian Boitano! For The RUNDOWN's fifth (?) anniversary, we finally answer the question - what would Brian Boitano do if he were here right now?
Boitano: Well hello there. I'm reasonably excited to be here tonight. Let's get started. First question, what do you like best about yourself? Also, what do you like least?
AJ Styles: Heh- interesting question what do I like by myself? Well the host of this show seems to despise, and hate my hair with a burning passion. He says I look like some weird hobo trying to wrestle at times, just to angst the host I will say my hair-do and my beard. I mean come on this look right here is much more cooler then just being clean shaven, and looking like a good ole' southern boy. So yeah probably my hair is where I go.
Boitano: Interesting. Next question - you're trapped on a dessert island with a blind, deaf 12-year-old Swedish child, and a forty-seven-year old dry-waller who has two dogs. Two of you have to eat the other one or else you'll starve to death. Which one of you becomes dinner?
AJ Styles: Man that one is tough.... sheesh well probably not the kid, because I love children so he will live, probably me and the kid will gang up on the old dude. You know I will put him in a calf killer to weaken him down a little bit, and the kid could put him a sleeper hold. It won't be hard to put the old guy down, and plus I don't he will be able to handle a double team of two young people, now his dogs would be hard to kill. I would probably tell the little kid to man up first and take them out because I couldn't picture myself doing them. The kid is swedish, so I am guessing he will be kind of chubby and fat, since he is blind and deaf he won't know what he is killing so his conscious wouldn't hurt as bad as mine. I probably wouldn't watch him do it, but he the main focus... and I know AJ how you gonna lead a blind and death kid to do such a thing, easy give him a rock, and hope he hits the right target done, and done.
Boitano: Hmm. Fascinating. It's important to make a plan and follow through. That's what I'd do, anyway. Alright then, last question: salsa - mild, medium, or hot?
AJ Styles: Salsa... hmmm... Well I'll say hot just like how I am every week on the Rundown, oh and by the way if you want to know who will be number one next week I can already tell you it will be me. You can count on it.
----------
Thanks to Chase for doing the CQOTW, or as I like to call if for short, the CQTW. You'll notice a new feature added this week, that being Tea Time with William Regal, wherein William Regal will mostly just be recommending some of his favourite flavours of tea. How nice. Also, starting next week we'll be introducing another new segment which will be brought to us by ONE OF YOU. Isn't that neat? Tune in to see what all the fuss will totally be about. Speaking of, if you ever want to contribute anything (in character, save that "real you" junk for dat podcast), feel free to get in on this. A weekly segment with your character? Short and sweet and awesome? Just like William Regal? Just imagine the fan fare! Think about it. There is no "we" in team, but if you flip the "w" in "we" upside down, then it turns into an "m", and the letters "m" and "e" are in "we" and "team". So get flippin' kids!
2/4/14 EDITION
FOR ENHANCED EXPERIENCE, READ WHILE LISTENING TO MF DOOM OR WU-TANG CLAN TUNES
#1 DEAN AMBROSE
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE~!
#2 DANIEL BRYAN
Sure, he came out second best in The Royal Rumble, but there's not doubt that is was a sooooooooooper close second. Plus, The American Dragon defeated arch-nemesis Christopher Daniels on Raw to become the one and only European Champion. While his current health is now in question, Bryan had himself a stellar week. This also marks the first time in over six months that two Raw superstars have taken the top two places on The RUNDOWN.
#3 M.V.P.
Montel Vontavius Porter did the impossible at the Rumble when he scaled Mount Morgan (beat Matt Morgan). Not two weeks ago, it was said that nobody could ever take out Morgan, not even if they tried their very hardest. F the haters. Mr. 305 (not Pitbull) proved that he ain't got time for the disbelievers as he won his title back and reclaimed the blue brand throne. His success can likely be attributed to the good juju he got on his chi when he joined John Morrison and The Miz for an inspiring warm-up interview on The Royal Rumble Pre-Show.
#4 SHAWN MICHAELS
It is beyond any of us here at The RUNDOWN how Tyson Kidd still isn't champion, but credit where it's due. HBK once again retained his World Heavyweight Championship in an epic bout that had a one-song sound track called Sweet Chin Music. Ric Flair was also there, being old and drunkish.
#5 EDDIE GUERRERO
It might not have been pretty. It might not have been fair. It might not have even been legal. One thing it most certainly was, though, was heart-wrenching, and also mind-blowing, and also gut-twisting and face-melting and maybe even toe-stepping. Eddie Guerrero once again beat Kane to hold on to the Global Championship. The bout saw run-ins from family members Chavo and The Undertaker, as well as a mysterious masked man, all of whom seemed much more interested in Eddie winning than The Big Red Machine. Where Kane's friend's at anyway? Maybe he's not the most approachable guy, but its not like Eddie's that personable either, right? Right. Careful who you hang out with kids.
#6 THE DUDLEY BOYZ
Not too shabby of a week for two of UWF's four tag team champions. After retaining their titles against the SHIELD on Raw, Bubba and the Reverend went on to participate in the Rags to Riches and Royal Rumble matches, respectively. While D'von had a strong showing, he wasn't able to pull off the big win. Bubba, however, scored himself a briefcase. Rumour has it that once he figures out how to open it, he's got some very special plans for what's inside.
#7 CODY RHODES
It appears that the Rhodes family feud may have been settled, with the younger sibling coming out on the top side heading into Wrestlemania season. Dirtsheets are now reporting that Rhodes will be taking on Sandow at the grandaddy pay-per-view for the rights to decide what the 24th flavour in Dr. Pepper should be.
#8 FANDANGO / THE UNDERTAKER / UMAGA
These three were all successful in capturing briefcases in the Feast or Fired match, although it is unclear at this point which one won which. As far as trios sharing a spot on The RUNDOWN go, you couldn't really ask for a more diverse group than this. It's almost like the start to a joke - so a flamboyantly homosexual tango dancer, a zombified mortician / biker and a sumo-wrestling Samoan cannibal walk into a bar...
#9 HULK HOGAN
His Rumble appearance may not have been the most memorable of his storied career, but the Hulkster still did defend his Transatomic Championship against three of Raw's young up can comers (or whatever) on the red brand's go-home show. Hogan may well be looking to unify his title with some other title heading into the Mania season. That could be cool. Its often been said (by cool guys like Jim Cornette and Gene Kiniski) that less is more when it comes to championships anyway.
#10 AJ STYLES
A big brand-vs.-brand tag team win in Raw's main event, impressive as it was, didn't give the Phenomenal One quite enough Momentum to take the win at the Rumble, although he did make the final four. The Hardcore Champion looks to moving closer and closer to a full time return to the main event scene on Smackdown now, but what the fans really want to know is, when will he get a haircut?
#11 REYMIEN SANDOW
Sandow was one of the top-runner-ups in the Royal Rumble, and a favourite to win going in. He would have gotten away with it to, if it weren't for those mediting kids.
----------
FRANK MIR'S MATCH OF THE WEEK
----------
THE ROYAL RUMBLE
WRITTEN BY: SBS
----------
UPCOMING CARDS
----------
UWF SLAMMY AWARDS SHOW - 2/11/14
http://wrestlingsmarks.com/threads/2014-uwf-slammy-awards-preview.72573/
VELOCITY AKA THE ST. VALENTINE'S DAY MASSACRE - 2/14/14
http://wrestlingsmarks.com/threads/uwf-velocity-2-14-14-card.72575/
----------
THE LATEST SHIZ
----------
THE ROYAL RUMBLE
http://wrestlingsmarks.com/threads/uwf-presents-the-2014-royal-rumble.72570/#post-940937
Read this noise! And then comment, let the writers know you appreciate them and stuff, otherwise you're a tool.
Chillin' With Chase
http://wrestlingsmarks.com/threads/chillin-with-chase-official-thread.68223/page-31
Retrospectively listen to the Rumble Preydictions and have the time of your life so far.
UWF- Did You Know?
http://wrestlingsmarks.com/threads/uwf-did-you-know.67017/page-4
Did you know that this thread is back from the dead?
----------
TEA TIME WITH WILLIAM REGAL
----------
Camomile.
----------
CELEBRITY QUESTION OF THE WEEK
----------
This week, The RUNDOWN is excited to announced that our guest will be world-renowned figure skater and Olympic champion, Brian Boitano! For The RUNDOWN's fifth (?) anniversary, we finally answer the question - what would Brian Boitano do if he were here right now?
Boitano: Well hello there. I'm reasonably excited to be here tonight. Let's get started. First question, what do you like best about yourself? Also, what do you like least?
AJ Styles: Heh- interesting question what do I like by myself? Well the host of this show seems to despise, and hate my hair with a burning passion. He says I look like some weird hobo trying to wrestle at times, just to angst the host I will say my hair-do and my beard. I mean come on this look right here is much more cooler then just being clean shaven, and looking like a good ole' southern boy. So yeah probably my hair is where I go.
Boitano: Interesting. Next question - you're trapped on a dessert island with a blind, deaf 12-year-old Swedish child, and a forty-seven-year old dry-waller who has two dogs. Two of you have to eat the other one or else you'll starve to death. Which one of you becomes dinner?
AJ Styles: Man that one is tough.... sheesh well probably not the kid, because I love children so he will live, probably me and the kid will gang up on the old dude. You know I will put him in a calf killer to weaken him down a little bit, and the kid could put him a sleeper hold. It won't be hard to put the old guy down, and plus I don't he will be able to handle a double team of two young people, now his dogs would be hard to kill. I would probably tell the little kid to man up first and take them out because I couldn't picture myself doing them. The kid is swedish, so I am guessing he will be kind of chubby and fat, since he is blind and deaf he won't know what he is killing so his conscious wouldn't hurt as bad as mine. I probably wouldn't watch him do it, but he the main focus... and I know AJ how you gonna lead a blind and death kid to do such a thing, easy give him a rock, and hope he hits the right target done, and done.
Boitano: Hmm. Fascinating. It's important to make a plan and follow through. That's what I'd do, anyway. Alright then, last question: salsa - mild, medium, or hot?
AJ Styles: Salsa... hmmm... Well I'll say hot just like how I am every week on the Rundown, oh and by the way if you want to know who will be number one next week I can already tell you it will be me. You can count on it.
----------
Thanks to Chase for doing the CQOTW, or as I like to call if for short, the CQTW. You'll notice a new feature added this week, that being Tea Time with William Regal, wherein William Regal will mostly just be recommending some of his favourite flavours of tea. How nice. Also, starting next week we'll be introducing another new segment which will be brought to us by ONE OF YOU. Isn't that neat? Tune in to see what all the fuss will totally be about. Speaking of, if you ever want to contribute anything (in character, save that "real you" junk for dat podcast), feel free to get in on this. A weekly segment with your character? Short and sweet and awesome? Just like William Regal? Just imagine the fan fare! Think about it. There is no "we" in team, but if you flip the "w" in "we" upside down, then it turns into an "m", and the letters "m" and "e" are in "we" and "team". So get flippin' kids!
