UWF: THE RUNDOWN
12/23/13
THIS EDITION IS A SING-A-LONG
#1 MATT MORGAN // KING BOOKER
Who can say which of these men is the greater or lesser? Morgan defeated two opponents in one match to unifyr the blue brand's world titles and become the undisputed king of the mountain (Mount Morgan?) on Smackdown. King Booker, however, picked up the Television Title on Velocity before somehow ending up in the US Title match and winning that too at Starcade. With both men coming into the holiday season with more belts than waists, they share the top spot on The RUNDOWN tonight!
#2 EDDIE GUERRERO
He's crazy alright... crazy like a fox! And what's more radical(z) than a Money-In-The-Bank Cash-In? Not much I tell ya! What an insane way to kick off the final pay-per-view of the year. Gurrero takes a huge win and some championship gold into the new year.
#3 SHAWN MICHAELS
HBK retains his belt in typical Canadian screwball fashion. In what many will later describe as "par for the course" and "an expected shame", Michaels was able to hold on to his belt only after a large curfuffle with the powers that be and some real low-rent shenanigans from the suits on Raw. Unforgivable. While The RUNDOWN staff strongly supports an immediate rematch for Tyson Kidd, HBK is still at this time the defending champion, and thus earns a high ranking.
#4 ETHAN CARTER III & FANDANGO
The Modern Day Double Dragons overcame the Second City Saints to retain their tag team gold at Starcade. EC3 also scored a solo win over James Storm on Velocity, thus earning the tandem a high place this week. The Dragons, while ridiculous in mannerisms as they are well in dressing, may be the undisputed top team in the UWF today. Perhaps its time for a tag team unification match to find out for sure?
#5 HULK HOGAN
The most American man in wrestling defended his Transatlantic Title against Sheamus at Starcade. When asked for a comment on the match, Hogan merely asked for his championship to be rechristened with a less silly name.
#6 AJ STYLES
Styles proved he is, in fact, all that and a bag of potato chips when he defeated three other men to hold on to his newly won Hardcore Championship in what many are already calling the greatest match to ever involve a potted cactus of all time. Styles' celebration was short lived, however, as former champion Mr. Kennedy was quick to attack in the aftermath of the epic bout. It seems a rematch may be set for the two Smackdown stars - but at this point The Phenomenal One seems to be the realest of deals in the hardcore division.
#7 CODY RHODES & KURT ANGLE
The RUNDOWN staff were unable to make heads or tails of the catastrophe that what was the tag team match between Rhodes and Angle and Shark Boy and Goldust. All we can say for sure is that we likes it, and that we wants more of it. After some ultraviolence and interference, the patriots currently ahead in this feud, but its safe to say that a rematch is something even grandma would want to see. And she's old and sickly.
#8 DANIEL BRYAN & CHRISTOPHER DANIELS
Team Daniel shares a win over John Cena and thus now co-holds the European Champion. Well they sure aren't going to like that! Tune into Raw to see how this odd couple will co-exist or implode! Won't that be interesting? Suffice it to say that there was a real missed opportunity here where these guys could have challenged Batista for his tag titles while he went for the European title. Oh well. Maybe next year, if we all stay on our best behavior.
#9 KANE
An impressive win over mid-life crisis Sting for the Global Championship will land anybody on The RUNDOWN. The subsequent beatdown via Hispanic chair-wielder and loss of that title within about three minutes to said Hispanic's cousin will knock one down a few spots, though. Here's to a triple threat at the Rumble!
#10 THE DUDLEYS
The World Tag Team Champions Batista has been dethroned by Team 3-D. So... ya know... they're the champions now. Both of them. Together. The way nature intended. Two men as champions, with each other.
# 11 THE SHIELD // TED DIBIASE JR.
Ambrose picks up a half-assed win with interference from his homeboys and DiBiase gets laid out after a roll-up victory. That said, a win is a win is a win, so these winners can share themselves a spot at 11 this week. Way to go fellas!
----------
UPCOMING CARDS:
----------
HOLIDAYS! GET OF YO COMPUTER AND BE SOCIAL AND FESTIVE!
----------
HODGEPODGERY:
----------
STARCADE 2013
http://wrestlingsmarks.com/threads/uwf-proudly-presents-starrcade.72106/
SPOILERS: There's a cactus.
Chillin' With Chase:
http://wrestlingsmarks.com/threads/chillin-with-chase-official-thread.68223/page-44
Retrospectively check out the Starcade pREYdictions, plus upcoming episodes with the beloved CliqueClacks and the Immortal GOAT, the one and only VITA~! (Hillary Duff).
Happy Holidays:
http://wrestlingsmarks.com/threads/happy-holidays-uwf.72105/
----------
CELEBRITY QUESTION SESSION:
----------
Henceforth, The RUNDOWN will feature a different celebrity guest who will host a question session with UWF superstars. We were very fortunate to get a holiday-film legend, Mr. Buzz Lightyear himself, and Home Improvement star Tim Allen for our inaugural edition. Joining him this week are Damien Sandow, Chris Masters, and The Tag Team Champions, The Modern Day Double Dragons!
Tim Allen: Hi, I'm Tim Allen, and joining me today are some of the UWF's finest young superstars. I'm a big fan of the promotion and can't wait to get started with these hard-hitting questions. Alright, here we go...
First up, what is your favourite Christmas tradition?
Damien Sandow: How naïve Mr.…Allen, is it? Christmas, in my opinion, must be the most ignorance filled night of the year. Small children are given weeks off of school where they should be bettering themselves by learning, and to add to that they are filled with the notion that one “Santa Claus”, whom I might add his name comes from the Dutch Sinterklaas, which in and of itself is the result of a series of elisions and corruptions of the transliteration of "Saint Nikolaos" So you see how fitting it is that “Santa Claus” is a result of the illiterate and benighted. And to the ignorant adults who believe they are entitled to a day off from their dead end jobs, and fool themselves that others care about their diminutive lives when they are fully aware that they have done the same thing to others by spending money on meaningless gifts for them. However, perhaps my favorite cretinous result of the holiday is the way people defend it. If you state a single negative thing about Christmas, they write you off as some fictional character like a Scrooge or Grinch, both of whom were nonsensically converted into Christmas loving peons in their stories.
However I will attempt to entertain the idea by giving a tradition I have that just so happens to come at Christmas, as we are never mislead at a young age by the misconception of joy and wonderment that people call Christmas. The Sandow clan does congregate every Christmas day at the Sandow family compound in Palo Alto, California so that we may all be excused from any Christmas parties we may be invited to. It has become a tradition we all enjoy thoroughly, as after spending time in the dark world filled with inequity and ineptitude it is refreshing to gather at the end of the year with other intellectuals.
Chris Masters: Well Tim, on Christmas I like to do the classic tradition. Sit at home with my girlfriend and have a pleasant evening with a nice dinner, a few presents, and then a hot kiss under the mistletoe. But, for Christmas shopping, I usually get everybody in my family the same thing. I give them all a Chris Masters sock cap. It has my face on it and everything, defiantly a perfect present.
Derrick Bateman: Oh my god! It's Tim the tool man Taylor!
Johnny Curtis: Holy hell you're right!
I just have to tell you Tim we are big fans.
Super big fans.
The younger fans may not know this but we used to do a show called the Double Dragon's Lair and we would have never gotten the set made if it wasn't for your help during the few minutes of the show they actually showed Tool Time with you and Al.
Hey you know we actually have something in common. We both have video games made after us. Ours of course being Double Dragon. Hey how was JTT? Isn't he the coolest ever?
I wish he was my son!
Can you excuse us for a second?
Maxine takes Bateman and Curtis out of the room while Tim doesn't seem to know what hit him. It's awhile before they re-enter the room cool, calm and collected.
EC3: Christmas? I'll have you know Tim that I am Jewish and I don't celebrate Christmas. That might seem a bit strange to you considering we like receiving gifts but the simple fact of the matter is we have to give out more then we get and since I come from a rich family, people expect us to lavish them with gifts but no. They don't deserve it.
Fandango: If we did celebrate Christmas, it'd be obvious what I would give them. None other than a picture of myself. Everyone needs some inspiration in their life. No need to look down at a WWJD bracelet when you can look at Fandango and realize that you need to get it together. There is a God walking among you. Aspire to be like him. I believe that answers your question.
Tim Allen: Well, uh, I gotta say, some of those responses were a bit hurtful. But uh... well... let's just move on! We're all having fun here!
Fellas, for the next question, I would just like to know what your favorite episode of Home Improvement was?
Damien Sandow: How presumptuous and vain, you have the opportunity to ask a true intellectual any question and you choose to ask not IF he has witnessed your television sitcom, but what is his favorite episode, assuming that of course I have seen it. Well, to proverbially knock you off your high horse, I have been fortunate enough not to sully my important time by baring witness to your program. You see Mr. Allen, I am far too busy enlightening a distraught world. Therefore, my free time is limited, but even though I sadly currently live in society that basis it’s entertainment on nonsensical pop-culture that has little to no: social, moral, or educational qualities, I choose to be like the masses of a different time, therefore when I do have the luxury of free time I spend it as the masses of a different age did when they were captivated by the works of Shakespeare and Mozart. I do not spend countless hours reading the nonsensical chatter in 140 characters or less from people I wouldn’t give the time of day in any other situation, instead I choose to read novels that provide at least some form of intellectual entertainment in an otherwise enlightenment deprived world. And I certainly would never waste my time viewing some abhorrent comedy sitcom based on the comedy styling’s of a comedian from the ever intelligence declining world.
Chris Masters: Favorite episode of what? I'm sorry but when I usually see you on TV I just turn the channel. Your acting is depressing.
EC3: I don't watch TV Timothy. I have more important things to worry about. Like my physique. I don't work out but I look in the mirror every day to ensure that nothing is out of place. Nobody wants to end up looking like you when they grow up.
Fandango: I think I may have seen an episode or two growing up. That was before I found out I was made of money. Ever since then I've had no need to watch TV. I'm the astute one of the group. As evident by the smart word I just used. Yeah I read that in a book last night. I like to read. Keeps the mind in tact. I've nearly read everything in the world so of course I've read some of your scripts. Not impressed but If I had to pick. definitely the cancer episode. Pure comedy genius for me.
Tim Allen: So maybe for this next one, we could keep things a bit more civil... please? I just... I've been going through some stuff ever since.... well ever since H.I. got pulled I guess... and uh... well let's just move on...
Chillin' With Chase host, the one and only Chase, wants to know "How much does the song "Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake motivate you to be a better person?"
Damien Sandow: Firstly…What in heaven’s name is this program this so called “Chase” is the host of? For the title points to it being yet another intellect lacking show, it is pronounced “Chilling” and to title you’re program with a deplorable slang term cannot point to a great mind. This quote unquote “host” shares his name with my beloved canine Chase Sandow, and yet I am confident that my pet with his upbringing is more qualified to host any program than this buffoon. No one need look further to a reason why than his choice of question, he believes himself to be amusing with his choice and things he’ll garner some chuckles from the abhorrent audience to this interview segment. The song he speaks of is simply one in a laundry list of atrocities provided by today’s society, but in any event I shall answer this abhorrent question. This so called “song” motivates me to be a better person, because it reminds me of how heinous this world has become. And it assist in pushing me towards bringing about enlightenment to the world, to be the shining light in the harbor of inequity and become the savior of all of you moronic people.
With that final ignorant question answered, I do believe this “interview” is over, and might I add that these may have been the worst inquiries I have ever been subject to answer. Even after it is done I feel my own intellect dwindling from being exposed to such despicable and detestable questions, therefore I shall be taking my leave at once so as to not further subject myself to this inept list of inquiries. But for shining some enlightenment into this otherwise display of denseness, I simply say…You’re Welcome.
Chris Masters: Ask me a gay question like that again and I'll have you spitting up blood. Chilling with Chase means nothing to me unless I'm the one being discussed in a positive fashion. Now if you excuse me Mr. Allen, I got a wedding to plan so why don't you crawl away to the rat hole you came from.
Fandango: Chase? You mean Meltzer. Did you know that all wrestling "journalist" are just him using alts. Everyone who comments on message boards are him too. He's like Tommy Westphall. That's a reference no one but you Tim will get. But I'll have you know that that song was made specifically for me. Turns out it wasn't sexy enough to adequately define me so I declined to have it as my theme song. Words just cannot describe what you see before you. Even a genius level wordsmith like Ethan here could not explain this.
EC3: That's because there are no words. Maybe one day I will invent one but until then, the only thing that can describe our greatness are the words Fandango and EC3.
Those are initials not words but thank you for your time.
Tim Allen: Um, well thanks for your time gentlemen. I guess... I guess... I'll just... yeah... thanks...
Tim walks off the set and backstage, head hung low, his hope in the Christmas spirit and season entirely shattered courtesy of UWF's own. Maybe lets have some faces on next week then? Assholes.
----------
THREE REASONS CLIQUECLACKS IS MY FAVOURITE
----------
1. YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON HIM
Guy scored me some Sami Callihan pics for my tt's when I couldn't find any. Dude was there for me when nobody else was, and without a moment's hesitation.
2. HE'S THE COOLEST
Little did you know that CliqueClacks was born wearing aviators and has never taken them off. The first pack of Pokemon cards he bought (with his own money) had a Charizard in it, and he knows how to skateboard really good.
3. HE SAVED A BUS FULL OF ORPHANS FROM A HEARD OF BEARS
Fuck you if you think I'm making this up. This guy is an American Hero.
----------
So next show won't be until after the next Raw and SD go up, whenever that is. Might only do one superstar for the question thing in the future, we'll see. But we do need volunteers, so get at me if you want in or have a question you need answering! Speaking of, major thanks to rey, bumout and schmidty for doing it this week. Cwalker, you got first dibs if you want in for next time. Future editions of The RUNDOWN may include more Frank Mir. We'll see. Feedback, suggestions and other stuff is encouraged in the spaces provided below. Make sure to check out Starcade, cause the staff put lots of hard work in and stuff. Have a holly jolly Christmas too. Or don't. I'm not your dad, you don't have to listen to me.
- Love Fauche
12/23/13
THIS EDITION IS A SING-A-LONG
#1 MATT MORGAN // KING BOOKER
Who can say which of these men is the greater or lesser? Morgan defeated two opponents in one match to unifyr the blue brand's world titles and become the undisputed king of the mountain (Mount Morgan?) on Smackdown. King Booker, however, picked up the Television Title on Velocity before somehow ending up in the US Title match and winning that too at Starcade. With both men coming into the holiday season with more belts than waists, they share the top spot on The RUNDOWN tonight!
#2 EDDIE GUERRERO
He's crazy alright... crazy like a fox! And what's more radical(z) than a Money-In-The-Bank Cash-In? Not much I tell ya! What an insane way to kick off the final pay-per-view of the year. Gurrero takes a huge win and some championship gold into the new year.
#3 SHAWN MICHAELS
HBK retains his belt in typical Canadian screwball fashion. In what many will later describe as "par for the course" and "an expected shame", Michaels was able to hold on to his belt only after a large curfuffle with the powers that be and some real low-rent shenanigans from the suits on Raw. Unforgivable. While The RUNDOWN staff strongly supports an immediate rematch for Tyson Kidd, HBK is still at this time the defending champion, and thus earns a high ranking.
#4 ETHAN CARTER III & FANDANGO
The Modern Day Double Dragons overcame the Second City Saints to retain their tag team gold at Starcade. EC3 also scored a solo win over James Storm on Velocity, thus earning the tandem a high place this week. The Dragons, while ridiculous in mannerisms as they are well in dressing, may be the undisputed top team in the UWF today. Perhaps its time for a tag team unification match to find out for sure?
#5 HULK HOGAN
The most American man in wrestling defended his Transatlantic Title against Sheamus at Starcade. When asked for a comment on the match, Hogan merely asked for his championship to be rechristened with a less silly name.
#6 AJ STYLES
Styles proved he is, in fact, all that and a bag of potato chips when he defeated three other men to hold on to his newly won Hardcore Championship in what many are already calling the greatest match to ever involve a potted cactus of all time. Styles' celebration was short lived, however, as former champion Mr. Kennedy was quick to attack in the aftermath of the epic bout. It seems a rematch may be set for the two Smackdown stars - but at this point The Phenomenal One seems to be the realest of deals in the hardcore division.
#7 CODY RHODES & KURT ANGLE
The RUNDOWN staff were unable to make heads or tails of the catastrophe that what was the tag team match between Rhodes and Angle and Shark Boy and Goldust. All we can say for sure is that we likes it, and that we wants more of it. After some ultraviolence and interference, the patriots currently ahead in this feud, but its safe to say that a rematch is something even grandma would want to see. And she's old and sickly.
#8 DANIEL BRYAN & CHRISTOPHER DANIELS
Team Daniel shares a win over John Cena and thus now co-holds the European Champion. Well they sure aren't going to like that! Tune into Raw to see how this odd couple will co-exist or implode! Won't that be interesting? Suffice it to say that there was a real missed opportunity here where these guys could have challenged Batista for his tag titles while he went for the European title. Oh well. Maybe next year, if we all stay on our best behavior.
#9 KANE
An impressive win over mid-life crisis Sting for the Global Championship will land anybody on The RUNDOWN. The subsequent beatdown via Hispanic chair-wielder and loss of that title within about three minutes to said Hispanic's cousin will knock one down a few spots, though. Here's to a triple threat at the Rumble!
#10 THE DUDLEYS
The World Tag Team Champions Batista has been dethroned by Team 3-D. So... ya know... they're the champions now. Both of them. Together. The way nature intended. Two men as champions, with each other.
# 11 THE SHIELD // TED DIBIASE JR.
Ambrose picks up a half-assed win with interference from his homeboys and DiBiase gets laid out after a roll-up victory. That said, a win is a win is a win, so these winners can share themselves a spot at 11 this week. Way to go fellas!
----------
UPCOMING CARDS:
----------
HOLIDAYS! GET OF YO COMPUTER AND BE SOCIAL AND FESTIVE!
----------
HODGEPODGERY:
----------
STARCADE 2013
http://wrestlingsmarks.com/threads/uwf-proudly-presents-starrcade.72106/
SPOILERS: There's a cactus.
Chillin' With Chase:
http://wrestlingsmarks.com/threads/chillin-with-chase-official-thread.68223/page-44
Retrospectively check out the Starcade pREYdictions, plus upcoming episodes with the beloved CliqueClacks and the Immortal GOAT, the one and only VITA~! (Hillary Duff).
Happy Holidays:
http://wrestlingsmarks.com/threads/happy-holidays-uwf.72105/
----------
CELEBRITY QUESTION SESSION:
----------
Henceforth, The RUNDOWN will feature a different celebrity guest who will host a question session with UWF superstars. We were very fortunate to get a holiday-film legend, Mr. Buzz Lightyear himself, and Home Improvement star Tim Allen for our inaugural edition. Joining him this week are Damien Sandow, Chris Masters, and The Tag Team Champions, The Modern Day Double Dragons!
Tim Allen: Hi, I'm Tim Allen, and joining me today are some of the UWF's finest young superstars. I'm a big fan of the promotion and can't wait to get started with these hard-hitting questions. Alright, here we go...
First up, what is your favourite Christmas tradition?
Damien Sandow: How naïve Mr.…Allen, is it? Christmas, in my opinion, must be the most ignorance filled night of the year. Small children are given weeks off of school where they should be bettering themselves by learning, and to add to that they are filled with the notion that one “Santa Claus”, whom I might add his name comes from the Dutch Sinterklaas, which in and of itself is the result of a series of elisions and corruptions of the transliteration of "Saint Nikolaos" So you see how fitting it is that “Santa Claus” is a result of the illiterate and benighted. And to the ignorant adults who believe they are entitled to a day off from their dead end jobs, and fool themselves that others care about their diminutive lives when they are fully aware that they have done the same thing to others by spending money on meaningless gifts for them. However, perhaps my favorite cretinous result of the holiday is the way people defend it. If you state a single negative thing about Christmas, they write you off as some fictional character like a Scrooge or Grinch, both of whom were nonsensically converted into Christmas loving peons in their stories.
However I will attempt to entertain the idea by giving a tradition I have that just so happens to come at Christmas, as we are never mislead at a young age by the misconception of joy and wonderment that people call Christmas. The Sandow clan does congregate every Christmas day at the Sandow family compound in Palo Alto, California so that we may all be excused from any Christmas parties we may be invited to. It has become a tradition we all enjoy thoroughly, as after spending time in the dark world filled with inequity and ineptitude it is refreshing to gather at the end of the year with other intellectuals.
Chris Masters: Well Tim, on Christmas I like to do the classic tradition. Sit at home with my girlfriend and have a pleasant evening with a nice dinner, a few presents, and then a hot kiss under the mistletoe. But, for Christmas shopping, I usually get everybody in my family the same thing. I give them all a Chris Masters sock cap. It has my face on it and everything, defiantly a perfect present.
Derrick Bateman: Oh my god! It's Tim the tool man Taylor!
Johnny Curtis: Holy hell you're right!
I just have to tell you Tim we are big fans.
Super big fans.
The younger fans may not know this but we used to do a show called the Double Dragon's Lair and we would have never gotten the set made if it wasn't for your help during the few minutes of the show they actually showed Tool Time with you and Al.
Hey you know we actually have something in common. We both have video games made after us. Ours of course being Double Dragon. Hey how was JTT? Isn't he the coolest ever?
I wish he was my son!
Can you excuse us for a second?
Maxine takes Bateman and Curtis out of the room while Tim doesn't seem to know what hit him. It's awhile before they re-enter the room cool, calm and collected.
EC3: Christmas? I'll have you know Tim that I am Jewish and I don't celebrate Christmas. That might seem a bit strange to you considering we like receiving gifts but the simple fact of the matter is we have to give out more then we get and since I come from a rich family, people expect us to lavish them with gifts but no. They don't deserve it.
Fandango: If we did celebrate Christmas, it'd be obvious what I would give them. None other than a picture of myself. Everyone needs some inspiration in their life. No need to look down at a WWJD bracelet when you can look at Fandango and realize that you need to get it together. There is a God walking among you. Aspire to be like him. I believe that answers your question.
Tim Allen: Well, uh, I gotta say, some of those responses were a bit hurtful. But uh... well... let's just move on! We're all having fun here!
Fellas, for the next question, I would just like to know what your favorite episode of Home Improvement was?
Damien Sandow: How presumptuous and vain, you have the opportunity to ask a true intellectual any question and you choose to ask not IF he has witnessed your television sitcom, but what is his favorite episode, assuming that of course I have seen it. Well, to proverbially knock you off your high horse, I have been fortunate enough not to sully my important time by baring witness to your program. You see Mr. Allen, I am far too busy enlightening a distraught world. Therefore, my free time is limited, but even though I sadly currently live in society that basis it’s entertainment on nonsensical pop-culture that has little to no: social, moral, or educational qualities, I choose to be like the masses of a different time, therefore when I do have the luxury of free time I spend it as the masses of a different age did when they were captivated by the works of Shakespeare and Mozart. I do not spend countless hours reading the nonsensical chatter in 140 characters or less from people I wouldn’t give the time of day in any other situation, instead I choose to read novels that provide at least some form of intellectual entertainment in an otherwise enlightenment deprived world. And I certainly would never waste my time viewing some abhorrent comedy sitcom based on the comedy styling’s of a comedian from the ever intelligence declining world.
Chris Masters: Favorite episode of what? I'm sorry but when I usually see you on TV I just turn the channel. Your acting is depressing.
EC3: I don't watch TV Timothy. I have more important things to worry about. Like my physique. I don't work out but I look in the mirror every day to ensure that nothing is out of place. Nobody wants to end up looking like you when they grow up.
Fandango: I think I may have seen an episode or two growing up. That was before I found out I was made of money. Ever since then I've had no need to watch TV. I'm the astute one of the group. As evident by the smart word I just used. Yeah I read that in a book last night. I like to read. Keeps the mind in tact. I've nearly read everything in the world so of course I've read some of your scripts. Not impressed but If I had to pick. definitely the cancer episode. Pure comedy genius for me.
Tim Allen: So maybe for this next one, we could keep things a bit more civil... please? I just... I've been going through some stuff ever since.... well ever since H.I. got pulled I guess... and uh... well let's just move on...
Chillin' With Chase host, the one and only Chase, wants to know "How much does the song "Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake motivate you to be a better person?"
Damien Sandow: Firstly…What in heaven’s name is this program this so called “Chase” is the host of? For the title points to it being yet another intellect lacking show, it is pronounced “Chilling” and to title you’re program with a deplorable slang term cannot point to a great mind. This quote unquote “host” shares his name with my beloved canine Chase Sandow, and yet I am confident that my pet with his upbringing is more qualified to host any program than this buffoon. No one need look further to a reason why than his choice of question, he believes himself to be amusing with his choice and things he’ll garner some chuckles from the abhorrent audience to this interview segment. The song he speaks of is simply one in a laundry list of atrocities provided by today’s society, but in any event I shall answer this abhorrent question. This so called “song” motivates me to be a better person, because it reminds me of how heinous this world has become. And it assist in pushing me towards bringing about enlightenment to the world, to be the shining light in the harbor of inequity and become the savior of all of you moronic people.
With that final ignorant question answered, I do believe this “interview” is over, and might I add that these may have been the worst inquiries I have ever been subject to answer. Even after it is done I feel my own intellect dwindling from being exposed to such despicable and detestable questions, therefore I shall be taking my leave at once so as to not further subject myself to this inept list of inquiries. But for shining some enlightenment into this otherwise display of denseness, I simply say…You’re Welcome.
Chris Masters: Ask me a gay question like that again and I'll have you spitting up blood. Chilling with Chase means nothing to me unless I'm the one being discussed in a positive fashion. Now if you excuse me Mr. Allen, I got a wedding to plan so why don't you crawl away to the rat hole you came from.
Fandango: Chase? You mean Meltzer. Did you know that all wrestling "journalist" are just him using alts. Everyone who comments on message boards are him too. He's like Tommy Westphall. That's a reference no one but you Tim will get. But I'll have you know that that song was made specifically for me. Turns out it wasn't sexy enough to adequately define me so I declined to have it as my theme song. Words just cannot describe what you see before you. Even a genius level wordsmith like Ethan here could not explain this.
EC3: That's because there are no words. Maybe one day I will invent one but until then, the only thing that can describe our greatness are the words Fandango and EC3.
Those are initials not words but thank you for your time.
Tim Allen: Um, well thanks for your time gentlemen. I guess... I guess... I'll just... yeah... thanks...
Tim walks off the set and backstage, head hung low, his hope in the Christmas spirit and season entirely shattered courtesy of UWF's own. Maybe lets have some faces on next week then? Assholes.
----------
THREE REASONS CLIQUECLACKS IS MY FAVOURITE
----------
1. YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON HIM
Guy scored me some Sami Callihan pics for my tt's when I couldn't find any. Dude was there for me when nobody else was, and without a moment's hesitation.
2. HE'S THE COOLEST
Little did you know that CliqueClacks was born wearing aviators and has never taken them off. The first pack of Pokemon cards he bought (with his own money) had a Charizard in it, and he knows how to skateboard really good.
3. HE SAVED A BUS FULL OF ORPHANS FROM A HEARD OF BEARS
Fuck you if you think I'm making this up. This guy is an American Hero.
----------
So next show won't be until after the next Raw and SD go up, whenever that is. Might only do one superstar for the question thing in the future, we'll see. But we do need volunteers, so get at me if you want in or have a question you need answering! Speaking of, major thanks to rey, bumout and schmidty for doing it this week. Cwalker, you got first dibs if you want in for next time. Future editions of The RUNDOWN may include more Frank Mir. We'll see. Feedback, suggestions and other stuff is encouraged in the spaces provided below. Make sure to check out Starcade, cause the staff put lots of hard work in and stuff. Have a holly jolly Christmas too. Or don't. I'm not your dad, you don't have to listen to me.
- Love Fauche
