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Ultimate Wrestling Federation Presents......
UWF Saturday Night SmackDown!
"FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS!" The theme music of Saturday Night SmackDown begins to play over the loudspeakers as a big pyrotechnics display goes off in the sold-out Kemper Arena here in Kansas City, MO.
We are then directed to the announcer's table where SmackDown commentators Joey Styles and Jerry Lawler are seated, Tazz notably absent.
Styles: Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to Saturday Night SmackDown! I am "The Voice Of Extreme" Joey Styles sitting at ringside next to my broadcast colleague Jerry "The King" Lawler!
The King: Didn't there used to be three of us?
Styles: Indeed, King. Unfortunately, Tazz has been let go from the UWF and we wish him the best in all of his future endeavors.
The King: You might but I don't.
Styles: At any rate, we have an exciting show lined up for tonight. First up, we have the returning Alberto Del Rio, former Tag Team Champion going toe-to-toe with "the World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry!
The King: That'll be a good one for sure but what about the C.U.N.T.?
Styles: Yes, King, the C.U.N.T. are in action tonight as members Paul Burchill and Grado take on the formidable team of Chris Sabin and Samoa Joe!
The King: The C.U.N.T.! Ha!
Styles: Styles: But that's not the strangest contest we have on tap tonight. Chris Jericho makes his SmackDown return to take on, not Jeff Hardy but....Willow?
The King: Jeff Hardy definitely has a screw loose.
Styles: He's a unique individual, to say the least but, our main event, it's sure to be personal. In a hardcore match to determine who goes on to challenge AJ Styles for the Hardcore Title at Unforgiven, we have Chris Masters taking on CM Punk.
The King: I can't wait but, speaking of AJ Styles, isn't there supposed to be some sort of title celebration? Where's the balloons and streamers?
We go from the commentary team to all of a sudden Lillian Garcia. Lillian Garcia begins to speak
Lillian Garcia: Ladies and gentlemen please welcome at this time the NEW Ultimate Wrestling Federation Champion, "THE PHENOMENAL" AJ STYLES!
Fans erupt in a cheer when all of a sudden the lights go out and a new song plays of the pa system. The song starts off slow with a hollowed echoes being heard, when all of a sudden AJ Styles appears and the fans cheer as all we see is a purple dim with the hardcore title over one shoulder, and the UWF Championship around his waist. The fans cheer as all of a sudden the rap chorus breaks out and AJ Styles takes off the hood, and the fans go banana’s as Styles goes and he walks down the ramp with both titles in hands. AJ goes and he enters the ring as the lights are now on and he asks for a microphone and he begins to speak towards everyone in the arena
AJ Styles: First of all I want to apologize to everybody here attending this celebration. I know this isn’t as fun as when MVP first won the title, there are no strippers, there are no champagne being poured down my mouth, there are no famous people here… and quite honestly it is because I am a simple guy, and this celebration right here is not about me. It is not just about AJ Styles climbing the mountain top and once again becoming the guy here in the UWF. No it is about you people, the friends of AJ Styles.
Fans cheer as an “AJ Styles “chant breaks out through the building, and AJ goes as he begins to speak once more
AJ Styles: You people stuck with me through thick and thin. You believed in the words that I was spewing out of my mouth. You didn’t think I was crazy, or that I was just a dreamer. No you people believed and gave me hope to keep on going, and that is why I am proud to say we all did it here too win this title, and that is to me what is important, thanking those around us and understanding the blessings we have up there in the sky… Now that I am champion I can truly say I am thankful for not only you people… but to a friend in the back, Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Fans cheer hearing the GM of Smackdown's name and AJ goes as he begins to speak
AJ Styles: Austin what the hell can I say, when it look like my dreams of going to WrestleMania were over. When it looked like that I wouldn’t be able to punch that ticket to go for my dream you gave me a chance. You looked me dead in the eye, and told me to get ready to fly. You said to me to go after it, and hell I did. Let me tell you folks that battle with MVP, hell that wasn’t an easy battle. MVP just like Daniel Bryan before him pushed me to the absolute limit. He made me so frustrated at times, and hell I loved every minute of it. To the former champ I give you props, because you put me through a battle that I don’t think I nor these UWF Fans will ever forget for a long time.
Fans cheer and they seem to agree with AJ Styles as Styles goes and he lifts the hardcore championship high in the sky.
AJ Styles: I told you people that this belt changed me. I have said it for weeks, and weeks, and yet no one listened. No one wanted to hear or believe what AJ Styles was saying. This belt is not a gimmick to me it is just as important to success as any other belt. This belt was the reasoning why I became the UWF Champion and for that I am thankful for the Hardcore Championship, and all the men that came at me trying to get this belt. So whether it be CM Punk or Chris Masters just know that I am going to fight hard to keep this belt, just like fought hard to earn this belt.
AJ Styles goes and he unclips the UWF Championship and he raises it high in the sky. The fans cheer as we see AJ Styles hold both of the belts up in the sky. Styles goes and throws the Hardcore championship on his shoulder, and picks the microphone back up to speak once again
AJ Styles: I fought… I clawed… and I won this belt. You see this title right here has been held by men who claimed they are the best in the world, who claimed they were unbeatable, and claimed they are God of Wrestling. Well let me just say this. You want someone who is the best in the world you got your guy right here. You want someone who is unbeatable. Since coming to Smackdown no one, and I mean no one has pinned nor submitted me in this very ring, that is a damn fact and I am going to keep it that way. You want someone to claim they are a God… well let me tell you I have too much respect from the lord above to call myself a God, even if it is a God of Wrestling but what I will say that this run I have been on it has been phenomenal, in fact you could call it God like, but what do you call a human that has just been on a tear, and a man who doesn’t want to think they are grander then the lord above. I will tell you right now you call them a Demi-God. A Demi-God is a mere mortal with God like abilities, and hell you people know that I perform some insane stuff every single night in this very ring.
Fans cheer like crazy as AJ Styles goes and he begins to speak again towards him
AJ Styles: Whether you want to call me Air Styles, The Demi-God, Champ, Allen Jones, hell it doesn’t matter because at the end of the day no matter what I will always be “The Phenomenal” A…J…Styles, and there can only be one.
Fans cheer when all of a sudden.....
NO CHANCE!
AJ Styles and the entire audience's attention is drawn to the top of the ramp as "No Chance in Hell" begins to play over the PA system. AJ's pleasant demeanor quickly changes into malice. He glares at the stage, waiting for the Chairman of the Board to arrive.
Styles: Mr. McMahon?! What's he doing here?!
The King: You show Mr. McMahon some respect, Joey! He can do whatever he wants to!
Vince walks out from the Gorilla position and out onto the stage where the crowd is giving him a negative reaction. McMahon looks down at the ring and wastes no time getting down to business.
Mr. McMahon: AJ Styles everbody! Give a round of applause for the new Ultimate Wrestling Federation Champion!
The crowd's boos turn to cheers as they cheer for AJ. Vince then continues.
Mr. McMahon: Now, AJ, I don't mean to come out here and rain on your parade, but there is a piece of business I need to attend to and it just couldn't wait. Now, as many of you saw at the UWF Slammy Awards, the SmackDown General Manager Stone Cold Steve Austin, after watching AJ come up short in the Royal Rumble match, decided to grant him a championship opportunity. I'm not one to stunt a superstar's growth by any means but, AJ, you were already a champion, weren't you?
AJ holds up the Hardcore Title as the crowd cheers for him again.
Mr. McMahon: You see, as impressive as that may be, it's just not what's best......for business. It's counter-productive, AJ. To tell you the truth, it's downright idiotic. Now, myself and my son-in-law, the COO and new UWF Tag Team Champion Triple H, congratulations Hunter by the way, we agree on most things but the one decision I fought tooth and nail against was the decision to hire Mr. Austin as the General Manager of SmackDown. I mean, after that whole Zack Ryder fiasco, this show could stand a bit of class but, no, instead Hunter hired that hard-headed redneck to run this brand and now, look what's happened. Another one of Hunter's brilliant ideas has backfired in his face. Now, as a promoter, I am apalled by Mr. Austin's actions by granting his two favorites, Shark Boy and you, AJ Styles, title opportunities for simply no reason. That kind of favoritism will not be tolerated and are grounds for termination. The Ultimate Wrestling Federation has come to terms with the release of Stone Cold Steve Austin and have relieved him of all of his general manager duties. In other words, Mr. Austin......YOU'RE FIIIIIIIIIRRRED!!!
Styles: This is outrageous!
The King: Are you questioning Mr. McMahon Joey? Austin was playing favorites, simple as that!
The crowd is showering McMahon in boos as he announces the firing of Steve Austin. Vince ignores this and continues speaking.
Mr. McMahon: However, with every closing of one door, another one opens and now I am proud to announce that, at last, after having such despicable general managers on this brand from Desmond Wolfe to Ric Flair, Zack Ryder and Chris Benoit to.....Stone Cold Steve Austin.....finally we have a general manager this company, and you people, can be proud of. A man who has down wonders in the managing field here in the UWF. So, ladies and gentlemen, without further adieu, please welcome the new General Manager of UWF Saturday Night SmackDown............PAUL HEYMAN!!
The King: AHHHH! *King Scream*
Styles: OH MY GOD! My former boss.....is now my current boss?!
The booing continues as Paul Heyman emerges from the back with a big smile on his face. He walks out onto the stage and shakes hands with Vince. AJ can't believe his eyes as Vince gives Heyman his microphone and leaves. As the music fades out, the boos don't cease. Paul then starts speaking, almost being drowned out by the crowd.
Paul Heyman: Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman and it is my pleasure to announce that I am indeed your new general manager of Saturday Night SmackDown. Not unlike our esteemed Ultimate Wrestling Federation Champion Mr. AJ Styles here, I can see the vast majority of you are quite shocked at my appearance but, when you really think about it, who better to take this lost brand to the promise land, just like I did for Alex Riley and Matt Morgan before they proved themselves to be......unreliable. Mr. Styles, I commend you for becoming a double champion and, you may not be defending the UWF Championship at Unforgiven but, rest assured, AJ Styles, the kind of favoritism you are used to around here will not be the case with me and, at WrestleMania, we'll see if you're really a "Demi-God" or, just like my predecessors here in the general manager role, not up to snuff. Whatever the case may be, Mr. Styles, we'll all be witness to whether or not you will "fly" or whether you crash and burn. Whatever happens, trust me Mr. Styles, that will be truly....."Phenomenal"....
Heyman then turns and walks out on AJ, who's left standing in the ring, still confused but with a very angered look on his face.
Styles: Steve Austin is out.....and Paul Heyman is in, folks.
The King: SmackDown's being taken to the Extreme, Joey! Cheer up!
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The lights dim and the crowd looks on in anticipation, however they are soon shocked by Ricardo Rodriguez coming out onto the stage wearing a smart suit with a bowtie in the colours of Mexico. The personal ring announcer of Alberto Del Rio takes a deep breath as he begins to introduce the Mexican Aristocrat.
UWF Saturday Night SmackDown!
"FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS!" The theme music of Saturday Night SmackDown begins to play over the loudspeakers as a big pyrotechnics display goes off in the sold-out Kemper Arena here in Kansas City, MO.
We are then directed to the announcer's table where SmackDown commentators Joey Styles and Jerry Lawler are seated, Tazz notably absent.
Styles: Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to Saturday Night SmackDown! I am "The Voice Of Extreme" Joey Styles sitting at ringside next to my broadcast colleague Jerry "The King" Lawler!
The King: Didn't there used to be three of us?
Styles: Indeed, King. Unfortunately, Tazz has been let go from the UWF and we wish him the best in all of his future endeavors.
The King: You might but I don't.
Styles: At any rate, we have an exciting show lined up for tonight. First up, we have the returning Alberto Del Rio, former Tag Team Champion going toe-to-toe with "the World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry!
The King: That'll be a good one for sure but what about the C.U.N.T.?
Styles: Yes, King, the C.U.N.T. are in action tonight as members Paul Burchill and Grado take on the formidable team of Chris Sabin and Samoa Joe!
The King: The C.U.N.T.! Ha!
Styles: Styles: But that's not the strangest contest we have on tap tonight. Chris Jericho makes his SmackDown return to take on, not Jeff Hardy but....Willow?
The King: Jeff Hardy definitely has a screw loose.
Styles: He's a unique individual, to say the least but, our main event, it's sure to be personal. In a hardcore match to determine who goes on to challenge AJ Styles for the Hardcore Title at Unforgiven, we have Chris Masters taking on CM Punk.
The King: I can't wait but, speaking of AJ Styles, isn't there supposed to be some sort of title celebration? Where's the balloons and streamers?
We go from the commentary team to all of a sudden Lillian Garcia. Lillian Garcia begins to speak
Lillian Garcia: Ladies and gentlemen please welcome at this time the NEW Ultimate Wrestling Federation Champion, "THE PHENOMENAL" AJ STYLES!
Fans erupt in a cheer when all of a sudden the lights go out and a new song plays of the pa system. The song starts off slow with a hollowed echoes being heard, when all of a sudden AJ Styles appears and the fans cheer as all we see is a purple dim with the hardcore title over one shoulder, and the UWF Championship around his waist. The fans cheer as all of a sudden the rap chorus breaks out and AJ Styles takes off the hood, and the fans go banana’s as Styles goes and he walks down the ramp with both titles in hands. AJ goes and he enters the ring as the lights are now on and he asks for a microphone and he begins to speak towards everyone in the arena
AJ Styles: First of all I want to apologize to everybody here attending this celebration. I know this isn’t as fun as when MVP first won the title, there are no strippers, there are no champagne being poured down my mouth, there are no famous people here… and quite honestly it is because I am a simple guy, and this celebration right here is not about me. It is not just about AJ Styles climbing the mountain top and once again becoming the guy here in the UWF. No it is about you people, the friends of AJ Styles.
Fans cheer as an “AJ Styles “chant breaks out through the building, and AJ goes as he begins to speak once more
AJ Styles: You people stuck with me through thick and thin. You believed in the words that I was spewing out of my mouth. You didn’t think I was crazy, or that I was just a dreamer. No you people believed and gave me hope to keep on going, and that is why I am proud to say we all did it here too win this title, and that is to me what is important, thanking those around us and understanding the blessings we have up there in the sky… Now that I am champion I can truly say I am thankful for not only you people… but to a friend in the back, Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Fans cheer hearing the GM of Smackdown's name and AJ goes as he begins to speak
AJ Styles: Austin what the hell can I say, when it look like my dreams of going to WrestleMania were over. When it looked like that I wouldn’t be able to punch that ticket to go for my dream you gave me a chance. You looked me dead in the eye, and told me to get ready to fly. You said to me to go after it, and hell I did. Let me tell you folks that battle with MVP, hell that wasn’t an easy battle. MVP just like Daniel Bryan before him pushed me to the absolute limit. He made me so frustrated at times, and hell I loved every minute of it. To the former champ I give you props, because you put me through a battle that I don’t think I nor these UWF Fans will ever forget for a long time.
Fans cheer and they seem to agree with AJ Styles as Styles goes and he lifts the hardcore championship high in the sky.
AJ Styles: I told you people that this belt changed me. I have said it for weeks, and weeks, and yet no one listened. No one wanted to hear or believe what AJ Styles was saying. This belt is not a gimmick to me it is just as important to success as any other belt. This belt was the reasoning why I became the UWF Champion and for that I am thankful for the Hardcore Championship, and all the men that came at me trying to get this belt. So whether it be CM Punk or Chris Masters just know that I am going to fight hard to keep this belt, just like fought hard to earn this belt.
AJ Styles goes and he unclips the UWF Championship and he raises it high in the sky. The fans cheer as we see AJ Styles hold both of the belts up in the sky. Styles goes and throws the Hardcore championship on his shoulder, and picks the microphone back up to speak once again
AJ Styles: I fought… I clawed… and I won this belt. You see this title right here has been held by men who claimed they are the best in the world, who claimed they were unbeatable, and claimed they are God of Wrestling. Well let me just say this. You want someone who is the best in the world you got your guy right here. You want someone who is unbeatable. Since coming to Smackdown no one, and I mean no one has pinned nor submitted me in this very ring, that is a damn fact and I am going to keep it that way. You want someone to claim they are a God… well let me tell you I have too much respect from the lord above to call myself a God, even if it is a God of Wrestling but what I will say that this run I have been on it has been phenomenal, in fact you could call it God like, but what do you call a human that has just been on a tear, and a man who doesn’t want to think they are grander then the lord above. I will tell you right now you call them a Demi-God. A Demi-God is a mere mortal with God like abilities, and hell you people know that I perform some insane stuff every single night in this very ring.
Fans cheer like crazy as AJ Styles goes and he begins to speak again towards him
AJ Styles: Whether you want to call me Air Styles, The Demi-God, Champ, Allen Jones, hell it doesn’t matter because at the end of the day no matter what I will always be “The Phenomenal” A…J…Styles, and there can only be one.
Fans cheer when all of a sudden.....
NO CHANCE!
AJ Styles and the entire audience's attention is drawn to the top of the ramp as "No Chance in Hell" begins to play over the PA system. AJ's pleasant demeanor quickly changes into malice. He glares at the stage, waiting for the Chairman of the Board to arrive.
Styles: Mr. McMahon?! What's he doing here?!
The King: You show Mr. McMahon some respect, Joey! He can do whatever he wants to!
Vince walks out from the Gorilla position and out onto the stage where the crowd is giving him a negative reaction. McMahon looks down at the ring and wastes no time getting down to business.
Mr. McMahon: AJ Styles everbody! Give a round of applause for the new Ultimate Wrestling Federation Champion!
The crowd's boos turn to cheers as they cheer for AJ. Vince then continues.
Mr. McMahon: Now, AJ, I don't mean to come out here and rain on your parade, but there is a piece of business I need to attend to and it just couldn't wait. Now, as many of you saw at the UWF Slammy Awards, the SmackDown General Manager Stone Cold Steve Austin, after watching AJ come up short in the Royal Rumble match, decided to grant him a championship opportunity. I'm not one to stunt a superstar's growth by any means but, AJ, you were already a champion, weren't you?
AJ holds up the Hardcore Title as the crowd cheers for him again.
Mr. McMahon: You see, as impressive as that may be, it's just not what's best......for business. It's counter-productive, AJ. To tell you the truth, it's downright idiotic. Now, myself and my son-in-law, the COO and new UWF Tag Team Champion Triple H, congratulations Hunter by the way, we agree on most things but the one decision I fought tooth and nail against was the decision to hire Mr. Austin as the General Manager of SmackDown. I mean, after that whole Zack Ryder fiasco, this show could stand a bit of class but, no, instead Hunter hired that hard-headed redneck to run this brand and now, look what's happened. Another one of Hunter's brilliant ideas has backfired in his face. Now, as a promoter, I am apalled by Mr. Austin's actions by granting his two favorites, Shark Boy and you, AJ Styles, title opportunities for simply no reason. That kind of favoritism will not be tolerated and are grounds for termination. The Ultimate Wrestling Federation has come to terms with the release of Stone Cold Steve Austin and have relieved him of all of his general manager duties. In other words, Mr. Austin......YOU'RE FIIIIIIIIIRRRED!!!
Styles: This is outrageous!
The King: Are you questioning Mr. McMahon Joey? Austin was playing favorites, simple as that!
The crowd is showering McMahon in boos as he announces the firing of Steve Austin. Vince ignores this and continues speaking.
Mr. McMahon: However, with every closing of one door, another one opens and now I am proud to announce that, at last, after having such despicable general managers on this brand from Desmond Wolfe to Ric Flair, Zack Ryder and Chris Benoit to.....Stone Cold Steve Austin.....finally we have a general manager this company, and you people, can be proud of. A man who has down wonders in the managing field here in the UWF. So, ladies and gentlemen, without further adieu, please welcome the new General Manager of UWF Saturday Night SmackDown............PAUL HEYMAN!!
The King: AHHHH! *King Scream*
Styles: OH MY GOD! My former boss.....is now my current boss?!
The booing continues as Paul Heyman emerges from the back with a big smile on his face. He walks out onto the stage and shakes hands with Vince. AJ can't believe his eyes as Vince gives Heyman his microphone and leaves. As the music fades out, the boos don't cease. Paul then starts speaking, almost being drowned out by the crowd.
Paul Heyman: Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman and it is my pleasure to announce that I am indeed your new general manager of Saturday Night SmackDown. Not unlike our esteemed Ultimate Wrestling Federation Champion Mr. AJ Styles here, I can see the vast majority of you are quite shocked at my appearance but, when you really think about it, who better to take this lost brand to the promise land, just like I did for Alex Riley and Matt Morgan before they proved themselves to be......unreliable. Mr. Styles, I commend you for becoming a double champion and, you may not be defending the UWF Championship at Unforgiven but, rest assured, AJ Styles, the kind of favoritism you are used to around here will not be the case with me and, at WrestleMania, we'll see if you're really a "Demi-God" or, just like my predecessors here in the general manager role, not up to snuff. Whatever the case may be, Mr. Styles, we'll all be witness to whether or not you will "fly" or whether you crash and burn. Whatever happens, trust me Mr. Styles, that will be truly....."Phenomenal"....
Heyman then turns and walks out on AJ, who's left standing in the ring, still confused but with a very angered look on his face.
Styles: Steve Austin is out.....and Paul Heyman is in, folks.
The King: SmackDown's being taken to the Extreme, Joey! Cheer up!
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The lights dim and the crowd looks on in anticipation, however they are soon shocked by Ricardo Rodriguez coming out onto the stage wearing a smart suit with a bowtie in the colours of Mexico. The personal ring announcer of Alberto Del Rio takes a deep breath as he begins to introduce the Mexican Aristocrat.
Ricardo Rodriguez:
Damas y Caballeros
Es para mí un gran honor presentar a ustedes aquí
Un hombre de gran realeza
Un hombre de gran honor
Un hombre que es mejor que todos ustedes
Albertoooooooooooooooooooooo Dellllll Riooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Alberto Del Rio’s theme song plays over the arena as Del Rio comes out in a $300,000 White Bentley Azure Convertible. He drives it up to the side of the entrance ramp where he gets out amidst a mixed reaction from the crowd. Del Rio does his signature taunt as he basks in the reaction of the crowd before making his way to the centre of the entrance ramp. He throws his arms out wide as his pyro goes off behind him before he walks down the entrance ramp to make his way to the ring. He climbs up the steel steps before getting into the ring. He basks in the reaction of the crowd once more as he waits for Mark Henry.
Damas y Caballeros
Es para mí un gran honor presentar a ustedes aquí
Un hombre de gran realeza
Un hombre de gran honor
Un hombre que es mejor que todos ustedes
Albertoooooooooooooooooooooo Dellllll Riooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Alberto Del Rio’s theme song plays over the arena as Del Rio comes out in a $300,000 White Bentley Azure Convertible. He drives it up to the side of the entrance ramp where he gets out amidst a mixed reaction from the crowd. Del Rio does his signature taunt as he basks in the reaction of the crowd before making his way to the centre of the entrance ramp. He throws his arms out wide as his pyro goes off behind him before he walks down the entrance ramp to make his way to the ring. He climbs up the steel steps before getting into the ring. He basks in the reaction of the crowd once more as he waits for Mark Henry.
Suddenly while everyone is hyped for the first match, they're interrupted by a podium lifting up to a certain height.
Styles: Oh now, come on! Really?
The King: It's time for Bad News, Joey! Bad News Barrett!
The music of Bad News Barrett plays as the #BNB text shows up on the titantron as the podium continues to go to a higher height. Barrett uses the gavel to bang loudly as he draws everyone's attention.
Bad News Barrett: Ladies and Gentlemen, may I please have your attention for one moment. After the concluding of the Slammy Awards, we now find ourselves on Smackdown. We are currently scheduled to witness the unbearable match of Alberto Del Rio and Mark Henry but I'm afraid I've got some BAD NEWS! That contest will not be happening because that miserable oaf Mark Henry decided not to show up tonight. It's degrading that they even had a match tonight but what's more degrading is the match that is happening next. As a man from the United Kingdom, I am extremely appalled that there's a man pretending to be a pirate. The last time I checked, Halloween was in October and we're in February. Whether you've chosen to live in the past or you want to play dress-ups like a child... I want you off this programme. How can management for one moment justify themselves to even allow such a hideous character on our tellies? What should be happening is people like me, a man with plenty of success. While I deliver the bad news, there are some good news that comes along the way... However there is even more Bad News. Paul Burchill's tag team partner tonight is no other than Grado. A man who hails from Scotland, mind you, as a Brit I don't like Scotland. As you all know England is much more superior but yes we tend to have to deal with a few whoppers. But nonetheless, Grado is a man who loves to sit by the couch and eat potato crisps instead of keeping himself in shape. However, he's adjourned himself a while ago only to find himself settled in with Shark Boy. I cannot fathom to how many slack fannies there are around here especially on Smackdown. You phonies are absolutely daft given the fact you've allowed these people to perform, but they're taking on Chris Sabin and Samoa Joe. The problem I have with Christopher Sabin is the fact he has done absolutely nothing since his arrival here in UWF, while sadly I've had to sit at home and wait for my Visa to be approved. But Samoa Joe? Is this what Smackdown has to offer? Now I'm full of beans but I cannot even describe this. But I'm glad the real bad news I'm delivering tonight is... Somebody got fired and you know exactly who I'm talking about!
The crowd boo's at Bad News Barrett's hatred for the next tag match that's next. They also boo heavier when they hear his taunting of Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Bad News Barrett: Pipe down you wankers! The problem with this place is that wrestlers are being given freebies, these ungrateful bastards are nothing more than children in a candy store. There is no prestige at all when they are given free candy, well you know what? I'm going to find that candy store and I'm going to steal all the candy and make you all cry. Why should Shark Boy or AJ Styles be given title shots after title shots? Whilst Shark Boy was able to dethrone a so-called "king" in King Booker, we must come to conclusion that King Booker was never a real king. He does not hail from a United country, mind you there's only ONE UNITED country. That being the United Kingdom! There is no Queen in this country, there is absolutely no royalty. So if you wish to discuss about royalty... Allow me to inform you that the Queen has told me that there's no time to waste, she wants to see a Championship brought back to our home country. She doesn't like you ungrateful bastards and neither do I! But AJ Styles who was already Hardcore Champion finds himself barely defending the Championship now, he ended up beating MVP on the Slammy Award show. I suppose MVP was too busy wanting to be a trophy husband for the ladies. But what on Earth is going on here? These titles are being thrown around as much as these people eat. As soon as you down a cheeseburger, a different person has a Championship. You all require a leader, a leader that will change Smackdown for the better. That man is me! You need me to get rid of the comedic characters, get rid of the wrestlers who cannot hold onto a Championship for more than a week. This is why I came to Smackdown, to show the management the BAD NEWS!
The crowd continues to boo heavily, more than ever. Barrett uses the gavel once again but the crowd is booing him hard which allows Barrett to pause for a good 40 seconds.
Bad News Barrett: I am not finished yet. I'm afraid I have some more Bad News. The fact you'll be witnessing this tag team match and the rest of Smackdown, you shall be left with disappointment. The good news is, you cannot get a refund for this show, which isn't good news for you penniless yokels but is certainly good news for upper management. But I am glad to be once again leaving this town full of filth, please clean yourselves as you leave the building. Until next time!
The #BNB stamp comes up on the titantron as we go elsewhere.
The action in the ring has been explosive so far as Smackdown is living up to the hype as the camera's suddenly switch to the backstage area, showing a close up of an Todd Grisham.
Todd: Ladies and Gentleman, the action in the ring has been amazing so far and it's a massive night, we all saw AJ Styles celebrate his UWF Title win over MVP at the Slammies tonight but right now, I have a very special guest with me, a guest that I'm guessing didn't enjoy AJ's celebration very much, my guest at this time is the Former UWF Champion, Montel Vontavious Porter.
The camera zooms out, showing MVP staring at Todd, not looking impressed at all. Todd turns towards MVP as MVP doesn't move a muscle.
Todd: Montel, can we get your thoughts on AJ's celebration here tonight?
MVP: What kind of question is that Todd? Out of every single question you could have started with, that is the first one you ask? No, how are you today Montel? No, did you get a new hair cut Montel? Not even a where did you buy your clothes Montel because as you can tell by my suit tonight, I need a upgrade with my fashion. I suppose you would like an answer to your question though Todd, I know it's just your job to answer the tough questions and I'm sure everyone wants to know what I think, so here it is. I'm not going to sugar coat it, I hated it, I hated seeing AJ smile with that stupid little grin, I hated watching AJ parade my title belt around the ring, I hated the crowd cheering for him with every single word, so to put it quite simply for you Todd, I hated it plus, can you even call that a celebration? It was nothing compared to mine the first time I won that title belt. I put on a show and showed everyone how to celebrate. Aj just showed everyone how you don't do it.
Todd: Montel, it sounds like you have a bit of a sour grapes taste towards AJ at this moment in time, I have to ask, after all the respect you showed AJ, don't you think its just going back on yourself?
MVP: Well there you go Todd, with just one question you have redeemed yourself. That is a great question, that is hard hitting, I can see why UWF employed you. Now Todd, ever since I lost my UWF Title that I had actually won in the same week, I know I know, I didn't even have time to celebrate it, I have been thinking, you know what Montel, how are you going to swallow this pill? How are you going to be able to show that you are happy for AJ whilst being very very angry at the same time and I finally came up with one solution, what is the point with all this respect? I didn't get to where I am today by bending over and kissing ass, I didn't get to where I am today by shaking hands and blowing kisses to anyone, no, you are looking at a man that tried to end another mans career at Summerslam just because he cost me my shot at a championship. You are looking at a man that decided Zack Ryder was a wrestling and smashed his face into the mat, just because he gave me a well deserved holiday, do you get what I'm getting at Todd? I have been given repsect out far to easily recently and look at where it has got me, I am 1 of only 2 men to have held the UWF Championship twice but I haven't even held the belt for 2 months, I lose to people like AJ Styles and Matt Morgan, one massive big hairy ape and the other an emo looking midget, I guess I am just all respected out Todd and I think I need a change. I have no problem with respecting these fans, they will cheer for me no matter what, I know they will be riding with me and help me through but these people in the back, they are a different story, I need to stop looking at all of them with stars in my eyes, I know that I am the massive shining star while everyone else just twinkles occasionly.
Todd: With all due respect Montel, your current record doesn't read of a shining star, I mean at this stage in time it seems you win one and then you lose one, so on and so on, it seems you just can't seem to string two wins together, do you have any idea why?
MVP looks at Todd with a puzzled look on his face. He looks completely buffled and caught by surprise at Todd's question.
MVP: You doubting that I am a shining star Todd? Are you becoming a Hater? I have way to many out there to worry about you Todd but if you have any doubts about me, let me tell you this, look at my contract Todd, even the bonus AJ got from winning the UWF Title, even if he charges $50 per autograph at his next apperance at the local geeky comic book store, he will not earn as much as me this week just for giving you 10 minutes of my time, Vince McMahon doesn't doubt my ability, Stone Cold Steve Austin doesn't doubt my ability but how could he, I did defeat him in a beer drinking contest, I am the Highest Paid Superstar in the whole of UWF and I ain't just talking about the present, I am talking about all time, in fact, I might have a little fun and scoop around and see what AJ and Shawn Michaels combined paycheck is for the week, compare it to mine and then spend their result in one night out in Miami, I'm sure I might be able to get one longue in the V.I.P section instead of the whole lot. My record at the moment isn't perfect but yet I still was world champion twice in a matter of weeks, how many times have you been world champion at anything? I believe the answer to that would be zero. I can lay claim to that but I ain't gonna live on that, I am going to move forward.
Todd: Speaking of moving forward MVP, where do you go from here? You have already had 2 shots at retaining the title and with Wrestlemania coming up, what do you have planned for the future?
MVP: You know what Todd, I'll answer this question but I think I have given you enough of my time so this is the last one for you tonight. You want to know what is next for MVP? Your right, Wrestlemania is just down the road, hell the road to Wrestlemania has already started, AJ Styles holds a title, Shawn Michaels holds a title, Dean Ambrose holds a quaranteed title shot at Wrestlemania but we all know whatever match MVP is in is the main event so what do I have planned, Todd, I will be at Wrestlemania and I will be in the main event, the near future has some wonderful ideas for Montel Vontavious Porter, whether I want to win my UWF Title back or I become bored with that and go after another title, whatever I have planned for the near future Todd, will bring success, it will bring champagne and it will bring people to realize that MVP is better then you. Now if you will excuse me Todd, I have places to be and people to meet.
With that MVP pushes the mic back at Todd, smirking to the camera one last time before he walks out of shot. Todd rubs his chest, watching MVP walk away as the camera fades out to another part of the arena.
“Bullet in the Head” by Rage Against the Machine hits the PA and the crowd goes ca-crazy with the boos as Kevin Steen walks out on to the ramp. Steen looks around, apparently unphased by the negative reaction. Slowly making his way down towards the ring, Steen is seen to already have a mic in his hand. After reaching the ring, Steen climbs onto the apron and steps through the ropes. He quickly calls for the music to be cut, wasting no time in starting.
Steen: Alright, alright, enough already. Let's not stand on ceremony here. Tape's running, and goodness knows, you people deserve whatever load of shit they booked to follow this tonight. Yeah, probably a great one up next, an instant classic. Maybe Shark Boy and the make-believe dress-up crew will be challenging team douche canoe for the tag belts, or hell, maybe AJ Styles can come down and try and explain how he can manage two championships and the worst haircut ever. I'm sure the people are dying to know AJ.
But its gonna have to wait. See at the Royal Rumble, I made a statement. I bashed in Brodie Lee's skull and told Sami Callihan I'd explain myself just as soon as I got the chance – that he could come down to this ring and he and I could have a little chat. Before we do that though, I'm going to once again remind you people about what's really going on here.
For years you've been lied to. You have been told that the UWF Is the greatest wrestling promotion in the world. You've been given champions and heroes to cheer for, pay-per-views to buy so you could see them fight for glory, shirts to buy so could support them in their journey to superstardom. These men you idolize though – they're not the super heroes you think you know. No. They are selfish, sycophantic cowards, clawing their way through a shameless, backstage rat race and stepping over and on each other for their cherished fifteen minutes. You let you children cheer for frauds, for roid-junkies, for absentee fathers, and you pay millions and millions every year to these disgusting mongrels.
Its bad enough that they have the audacity to come out here and pretend to be something they're so evidently not, to impersonate the antithesis of their actual characters. And its a fuckin' tragedy that them and the monkeys in their suits are getting rich off it. Worse thing is though that you all keep paying for it. The truth is so clear, and so repulsive, and yet here you all sit. Maybe it's because your own lives are so disappointing and boring that you cling to men like these. It could be jealousy, maybe you're just that pathetic. How would I know? Only thing on my mind is that because of your undying support for this corrupt system – one that thrives off of snakes being given crowns, one that is built off the blood and sweat of REAL MEN who got NOTHING in return, one that spits on the tradition and honour of pure pro wrestling – my dreams of competing for in an organization for integrity for championships that aren't tainted and worthless are dead. My hopes of being part of something I can be proud of are gone. Each and every last one of of you, along with the tools backstage and the bastards who run this show have sabotaged this great sport with your greed and gluttony for violence and cheap thrills. It makes me sick, and I am going to put a stop to it. No matter the cost.
Steen pauses for a moment while the crowd boos.
Steen: So that brings me here. Before I call out Sami Callihan though, I'd like to bring out a very, very special guest.
Steen lowers his mic and points towards the stage. Shortly thereafter, a middle-aged woman appears and walks briskly, nervously down the ramp. She keeps her eyes fixed down, too scared to look around the sold-out stadium. Steen holds the ropes open for her so she can climb into the ring.
Steen: Thank you for coming out. Please, take a look at the cameras for us...
The woman seems unsure, but Steen insists. Slowly, her eys creep up and she stares into the camera, fully revealing her face.
Steen: This, ladies and gentlemen, is Mrs. Penelope Callihan – mother of Sami Callihan. I've invited her out here tonight to help me communicate with Sami. Now, as you can see, she's very nervous, so I'll start things off. Sami – I'm sure you must be watching somewhere backstage. I'm speaking to you directly now. I know, I mean damn, we've heard you say it a thousand times, you don't have the best relationship with this woman, but she is your mother, and me, I'm your friend. Whether or not you know it yet, I'm the best friend you've got, and maybe the only real one in this industry.
While you and Brodie were chasing those tag titles, I was watching closely. I was horrified to see the Hardcore title match you went through at Starcade, and absolutely traumatized by that abomination of a match you had against EC3 and Fandango and Smackdown. That's not what wrestling it about. That's some sideshow, circus bullshit. No man should have to go to work and be put through that, and nobody should ever cheer for that garbage. That hardcore crap has been killing this business for nearly two decades now. There's no reason we should bleed for anybody, take chair shots or go through tables and off scaffolding. No. This is wrestling, it was fine the way it was before these fucking “revolutionaries” came in with their ratings wars and ruined the damn thing.
For years you, and so many others like you, were told that you had to do that crazy stuntman shit to get over. To flip off turnbuckles or dive through barbed wire to get over. I'm here to tell you that just isn't true Sami. You and me, we can be great on our own talent. And we're not the only ones. The world is full of amazing young men and women who could make this all worthwhile again, but never while the powers that be treat us like circus clowns to be fired out of canons, and never while these people keep paying to see trainwrecks like the ones you've become famours for. Roll the clip.
Steen points to the titantron, which flashes to a video showcasing so of Sami's more violent and bruta matches. Steen looks appalled, while his mother looks faint and on the brink of tears. After about thirty seconds, Steen shuts it off.
Steen: That's enough. I can't stand seeing any more of that. That violence, that horror show – we never need to see that in this ring again, unless its me enacting justice on the bastards who booked it. I -
Mrs. Callihan interupts -
Mrs. Callihan: Sami... Sami... please... if you're back there... please come out and talk with me... talk to me me about all this.... let's make it stop...
An awkward moment, lasting at least a minute passes, before “Flowermouth (The Leech): by Code Orange Kids plays -
And Sami Callihan walks out. He has a mic in hand, and looks wearily toward the ring. Pacing back and forth on the stage, he finally speaks....
Sami: What the fuck is this? Hmmm? What are you trying to do Steen? First you take out Brodie, maybe end his damn career. Call me out, try and team up with me while burying the TIOC? Say you wanna start a revolution, say fuck hardcore and everything I've been working for? Now you bring her... her.... you bring her out here and try and tell me about me? Fuck you.
Steen shakes his head, looking disappointed. Mrs. Callihan looks like she might start sobbing at any minute.
Mrs. Callihan: Sami, please, let's just talk...
Sami: No. No let's not. You've never been there for me and now you're here, telling me enough is enough. Fuck that. I've.. uh... I've never needed you, never have, never... ever... will...
Sami lowers his mic and turns to leave. Steen raises his own mic again.
Steen: I understand you've angry Sami. Hell, I would be too. If the company I entrusted my career to treated my like a piece of meat, I'd be pissed. If my so-called fans bought into that atrocity, and acted like every match I had was a NASCAR race, waiting for the big wreck, I'd be pissed. If my own mother never did a damn thing in my life for me, was never there for me when I needed her, hell, I'd be pissed at that too.
Mrs. Callihan turns and looks at Steen, anger flashing in her eyes. Steen returns the glare, shaking his head bitterly.
Steen: You're just as bad as the rest of them. You're not part of the solution, you're the root of the damn problem. The first to get cut out and thrown away.
Out of nowhere, Steen boots Mrs. Callihan in the gut bends her over and nails a package piledriver. The crowd gasps in utter horror before booing heavily. Sami Callihan, eyes wide in shock, wastes no time in running down the ramp and sliding into the ring to check on his mother. Steen, meanwhile, bales through the ropes and over the barrier into the aisle, hiding behind the crowd. Sami bends over by his near unconscious mother, breathing heavily, furiously. Steen, still holding his mic, continues.
Steen: This... this is for your own good Sami. You said it yourself, she never did a damn thing for you. None of these people ever have. This company never has. The UWF – what is that to you? What has it given you since being here? Title shots in the most barbaric and volatile matches? They never expected you to win or wanted you to. They just wanted to see you bleed, and they knew you would. They knew you were blind enough to. Well open your eyes man, this is the truth. These people, your “fans”, they know it. You're a sideshow, they put in the cash and watch your body break. Turn it off. You control this situation, and can make it stop at any time. It's your career, let it mean something more than what they've tried to turn it into. You're better than this, better than these people, better than those assholes baskstage, and certianly better than that woman lying at your feet.
Sami shakes his head, runs his hands through his mess of hair, and stares down at his mother. Without another thought, he helps her to her feet, while the fans cheer. Many are shouting for him to attack Steen. Instead, Sami grabs his mother, flips her up onto his shoulder and nails the Switchblade Special, leaving her motionless mid-ring. Medical officials finally run down to the ring to check on her, although they seem tentative to go anywhere near Sami. Steen, however, has slowly made his way back to ringside, looking unsure of the other man. Despite the uncertainty, he climbs the apron and steps into the ring, approaching Sami who is standing still over his mother. Steen considers him for a moment, says something inaudible over the booing of the fans, to which Sami simply nods. Steen smiles, grabs Sami's hand and raises it as though he just won a match. The audience in incest, littering the ring with empty cups and garbage, as well as torn T.I.O.C. shirts. The duo stand posing unashamed as the show heads to commercial break.
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Ladies and gentleman, the following contest is set for fall.
Introducing first, being accompanied by Shark Boy, Grado and Paul Birchill..... C.U.N.T.
Introducing their opponents; the team of Chris Sabin and Samoa Joe!!!
Vs.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Chris Sabin and Paul Birchill both start off the match with a lockup. Both men are at near equal strength and neither man really can move each other, Sabin though gets Birchill into a headlock but Birchill shoves Sabin to the ropes then shoulder blocks him to the ground. Sabin gets back up and hits some punches to Birchill but Birchill ducks one of the strikes and kicks Sabin in the gut, then bounces off the ropes and hits a leaping shoulder block onto Sabin! Sabin falls to the mat but Birchill already has the former TV Champion back up and kicks him in the arm. Sabin yelps in pain after that blow as Birchill continues to swing at Sabin, hitting him in the knee with a kick. Sabin hops around the ring but Birchill comes from behind and takes him down with a back suplex! The crowd cheers as Bichill rises to feet as the crowd chants "C.U.N.T" out loud!
King: Listen to these fans Joey! They love the C.U.N.T.!
Paul Birchill goes to pick up Sabin up off his feet but Sabin hits a quick jab to the face to knock Birchill back, then bounces off the ropes and hits a clothesline onto Birchill! Sabin poses for the crowd then brings Birchill back up, then kicks him in the gut. Birchill goes down as Sabin spins around and hits a discus clotheline onto the Pirate! Birchill tries to shake off the blow but Sabin drags Birchill to the center of the ring then tags in Samoa Joe. Sabin climbs the ropes and hits a moonsault onto Birchill, then Joe comes running and hits a running senton onto Birchill. Shark Boy is looking a bit worried from ringside as Joe picks up Birchill and chucks him to the corner, then runs up and hits a body avalanche to the cornered Birchill! Birchill falls to the ground as Joe has a deathly look on him, the crowd giving a mixed reaction to Joe. Joe picks up Birchill and places him on his shoulder, then moves around the ring and executes the running powerslam onto Paul Birchill!
Styles: Wow, look at that raw power from Samoa Joe! I hope Grado doesn't die when he gets in the ring with Joe!
King: I don't even think Paul Birchill will survive this match Joey, did you see that powerslam?!
Samoa Joe gets back to his feet and has a big grin on his face, Paul Birchill strugging to get to his feet now. Joe helps up Birchill up but doesn't play nice for long as he lifts him up in a suplex and drops him to the canvas! Birchill slowly attempts to reach Grado's extended hand but Samoa Joe drags Birchill away and hits an elbow drop onto Birchill's chest. Joe gets up and hits another elbow drop to the chest then drags Birchill to his corner and tags in Chris Sabin back into the match. Sabin leaps into the ring and picks up Birchill and chucks him to the ropes. Birchill comes back and the duo goes for a double clothesline but Birchill ducks it, bounces off the ropes and hits a double clothesline onto Sabin and Joe! Sabin drops but Joe is still standing so Birchill runs and leaps a leaping clothesline onto Joe, bringing him down onto the mat! The crowd pops as Birchill rises back to his feet and ends up tagging Grado into the match!
King: Oh no, not this guy!
Styles: Here comes the Scottish sensation, Grado baby!
Grado enters the ring in a fit of enjoyment as he enters the ring and takes down Sabin! Joe tries to interfere but Grado ducks his clothesline and takes him down with a back elbow! Grado is getting pumped up as Sabin returns to his feet, Grado then body slams him to the ground. Grado bounces off the ropes and poses for the crowd, then hits an elbow drop to the chest of Sabin. Grado shoots to his feet and poses for the crowd again before hitting another elbow drop onto the chest! Grado gets up but Samoa Joe comes into the ring and grabs Grado by the back. Grado looks to be a bit scared until Birchill comes in to make the save! Birchill kicks Samoa Joe in the gut and hits him with Walk The Plank onto Joe! Joe rolls out of the ring and Sabin goes behind Birchill and attacks him with the Hail Sabin! Chris Sabin looks to be happy with his work until Grado hits Chris Sabin with the Wee Boot! The crowd pops as Grado goes for the cover...
1!
.
.
.
.
2!
.
.
.
.
3!!!
Winner of the match: C.U.N.T.
The camera cuts backstage in the darkness, the camera is turned on it’s stand and over the moving image you hear a voice over the speakers
Only you, can make this World…Seem right…Only You…can make the Darkness…Bright.
As the camera catches a dark figure and starts to clear up once the person steps back from it showing Cody with his hood over his face.
Cody Rhodes:
I’ve heard the question asked around back here in hush tones, Everyone is wondering the same thing not because they’re interested but because they want to know if they are cleared for another day. What’s next for Cody Rhodes? Judging by history it could be anything or anyone, there is no pattern to what I do… no set plan on my goals, I just hurt the person in front of me next and anyone stupid enough to seek me out like the Royal Rumble winner this year, the Royal Rumble winner last year, or even my own brother gets put down for their mistake.
Cody pauses as if his mind going elsewhere for a moment and starts singing in a hush tone to himself again.
Only you… can Make this Change in me…For It’s true... You are my…Destiny…
But now that I’ve broken that toy I’m all out things to play with so who is going to be my next friend on Smackdown? I mean there are so many to choose from, some old friends of mine who’ve seemingly recovered after our initial…introduction…or someone new perhaps, another name to add to the collection oh who to choose who to choose there are so many toys on the shelves at first I felt like I just couldn’t choose which one to play with.
Cody tilts his head to one side, causing a sliver of light to hit the darkness of the hood but not enough to see his face completely.
When I Hold you in my hand…I…understand…The Magic that you do.
Well…We’ve been thinking, and we all agreed on something…over the years no matter which one of us was in control we all wanted the same thing…Sure some of us had other goals in mind, some of us cared about some of the details more than others but at the end of the day there was one constant. So now that we’ve all come to an agreement, now that we are all in…Control…it’s time to get back on track…time to remember what caused all the problems, what set off a lot of the changes. Which means the roster can now rest easy, because the targets… are the ones snugly wrapped around the waist of only a few.
Cody puts his head down for a moment
You’re my Dream come true…
Cody takes his hood off
It’s been far too long since we’ve held one…so now all my attention…is going to be focused on that one goal. Now that we’ve talked together, our identity crises is over because each of us knows exactly who we are… and what we want. And if in the process of getting it I get to bring people into my World and help them understand the joke I learned long ago...help them realize that all they cared about and struggled for is just a monstrous demented gag…well that’s just the icing on the cake. But Whether or not they get it isn’t really my concern, I am simply the harbinger, once my message is delivered I move on to whoever is next...except this time...I get to hold once again what I haven’t in 9 long months..
My One…And Only…You…
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Ladies and gentleman, the following contest is set for fall.
Introducing first, being accompanied by Shark Boy, Grado and Paul Birchill..... C.U.N.T.
Introducing their opponents; the team of Chris Sabin and Samoa Joe!!!
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Chris Sabin and Paul Birchill both start off the match with a lockup. Both men are at near equal strength and neither man really can move each other, Sabin though gets Birchill into a headlock but Birchill shoves Sabin to the ropes then shoulder blocks him to the ground. Sabin gets back up and hits some punches to Birchill but Birchill ducks one of the strikes and kicks Sabin in the gut, then bounces off the ropes and hits a leaping shoulder block onto Sabin! Sabin falls to the mat but Birchill already has the former TV Champion back up and kicks him in the arm. Sabin yelps in pain after that blow as Birchill continues to swing at Sabin, hitting him in the knee with a kick. Sabin hops around the ring but Birchill comes from behind and takes him down with a back suplex! The crowd cheers as Bichill rises to feet as the crowd chants "C.U.N.T" out loud!
King: Listen to these fans Joey! They love the C.U.N.T.!
Paul Birchill goes to pick up Sabin up off his feet but Sabin hits a quick jab to the face to knock Birchill back, then bounces off the ropes and hits a clothesline onto Birchill! Sabin poses for the crowd then brings Birchill back up, then kicks him in the gut. Birchill goes down as Sabin spins around and hits a discus clotheline onto the Pirate! Birchill tries to shake off the blow but Sabin drags Birchill to the center of the ring then tags in Samoa Joe. Sabin climbs the ropes and hits a moonsault onto Birchill, then Joe comes running and hits a running senton onto Birchill. Shark Boy is looking a bit worried from ringside as Joe picks up Birchill and chucks him to the corner, then runs up and hits a body avalanche to the cornered Birchill! Birchill falls to the ground as Joe has a deathly look on him, the crowd giving a mixed reaction to Joe. Joe picks up Birchill and places him on his shoulder, then moves around the ring and executes the running powerslam onto Paul Birchill!
Styles: Wow, look at that raw power from Samoa Joe! I hope Grado doesn't die when he gets in the ring with Joe!
King: I don't even think Paul Birchill will survive this match Joey, did you see that powerslam?!
Samoa Joe gets back to his feet and has a big grin on his face, Paul Birchill strugging to get to his feet now. Joe helps up Birchill up but doesn't play nice for long as he lifts him up in a suplex and drops him to the canvas! Birchill slowly attempts to reach Grado's extended hand but Samoa Joe drags Birchill away and hits an elbow drop onto Birchill's chest. Joe gets up and hits another elbow drop to the chest then drags Birchill to his corner and tags in Chris Sabin back into the match. Sabin leaps into the ring and picks up Birchill and chucks him to the ropes. Birchill comes back and the duo goes for a double clothesline but Birchill ducks it, bounces off the ropes and hits a double clothesline onto Sabin and Joe! Sabin drops but Joe is still standing so Birchill runs and leaps a leaping clothesline onto Joe, bringing him down onto the mat! The crowd pops as Birchill rises back to his feet and ends up tagging Grado into the match!
King: Oh no, not this guy!
Styles: Here comes the Scottish sensation, Grado baby!
Grado enters the ring in a fit of enjoyment as he enters the ring and takes down Sabin! Joe tries to interfere but Grado ducks his clothesline and takes him down with a back elbow! Grado is getting pumped up as Sabin returns to his feet, Grado then body slams him to the ground. Grado bounces off the ropes and poses for the crowd, then hits an elbow drop to the chest of Sabin. Grado shoots to his feet and poses for the crowd again before hitting another elbow drop onto the chest! Grado gets up but Samoa Joe comes into the ring and grabs Grado by the back. Grado looks to be a bit scared until Birchill comes in to make the save! Birchill kicks Samoa Joe in the gut and hits him with Walk The Plank onto Joe! Joe rolls out of the ring and Sabin goes behind Birchill and attacks him with the Hail Sabin! Chris Sabin looks to be happy with his work until Grado hits Chris Sabin with the Wee Boot! The crowd pops as Grado goes for the cover...
1!
.
.
.
.
2!
.
.
.
.
3!!!
Winner of the match: C.U.N.T.
The camera cuts backstage in the darkness, the camera is turned on it’s stand and over the moving image you hear a voice over the speakers
Only you, can make this World…Seem right…Only You…can make the Darkness…Bright.
As the camera catches a dark figure and starts to clear up once the person steps back from it showing Cody with his hood over his face.
Cody Rhodes:
I’ve heard the question asked around back here in hush tones, Everyone is wondering the same thing not because they’re interested but because they want to know if they are cleared for another day. What’s next for Cody Rhodes? Judging by history it could be anything or anyone, there is no pattern to what I do… no set plan on my goals, I just hurt the person in front of me next and anyone stupid enough to seek me out like the Royal Rumble winner this year, the Royal Rumble winner last year, or even my own brother gets put down for their mistake.
Cody pauses as if his mind going elsewhere for a moment and starts singing in a hush tone to himself again.
Only you… can Make this Change in me…For It’s true... You are my…Destiny…
But now that I’ve broken that toy I’m all out things to play with so who is going to be my next friend on Smackdown? I mean there are so many to choose from, some old friends of mine who’ve seemingly recovered after our initial…introduction…or someone new perhaps, another name to add to the collection oh who to choose who to choose there are so many toys on the shelves at first I felt like I just couldn’t choose which one to play with.
Cody tilts his head to one side, causing a sliver of light to hit the darkness of the hood but not enough to see his face completely.
When I Hold you in my hand…I…understand…The Magic that you do.
Well…We’ve been thinking, and we all agreed on something…over the years no matter which one of us was in control we all wanted the same thing…Sure some of us had other goals in mind, some of us cared about some of the details more than others but at the end of the day there was one constant. So now that we’ve all come to an agreement, now that we are all in…Control…it’s time to get back on track…time to remember what caused all the problems, what set off a lot of the changes. Which means the roster can now rest easy, because the targets… are the ones snugly wrapped around the waist of only a few.
Cody puts his head down for a moment
You’re my Dream come true…
Cody takes his hood off
It’s been far too long since we’ve held one…so now all my attention…is going to be focused on that one goal. Now that we’ve talked together, our identity crises is over because each of us knows exactly who we are… and what we want. And if in the process of getting it I get to bring people into my World and help them understand the joke I learned long ago...help them realize that all they cared about and struggled for is just a monstrous demented gag…well that’s just the icing on the cake. But Whether or not they get it isn’t really my concern, I am simply the harbinger, once my message is delivered I move on to whoever is next...except this time...I get to hold once again what I haven’t in 9 long months..
My One…And Only…You…
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We open on new SmackDown General Manager Paul Heyman just getting off his cell phone. Todd Grisham approaches and gets Heyman's attention.
Paul Heyman: Umm.....yes? Can I help you?
Todd Grisham: Mr. Heyman, my apologies if I interrupted anything but I just wanting to get a follow-up to earlier tonight, you disrupting AJ Styles' UWF Championship celebration.
Paul Heyman: Who hired you again? Oh yes, that's right. I know who. That foul-mouthed, beer-swilling, toughest S.O.B. in the unemployment line did. Well, Mr.....uh, Grisham, is it? Mr. Grisham, it is my displeasure to inform you.....oh what the hell, it's my pleasure, to inform you that your services here on the SmackDown brand are no longer required. In lamen's terms, Mr. Grisham......you're fired.
Heyman cracks an evil smile and opens the door to his office. The cameras leave Todd Grisham and follow Heyman inside of his office where the members of the T.I.O.C. Sami Callihan and Kevin Steen are seated in front of his desk. Heyman takes a seat and begins addressing him.
Paul Heyman: Ah, Mr. Callihan, Mr. Steen. Can I just say what an honor it truly is to have you seated before me. Do you like the new office? I thought the self-portrait behind me might be too much but, you know what they say, if you've got it, flaunt it. Now, as I am aware, you two are awfully busy men here on SmackDown and I get that. I understand that. Hell, I like that. I respect that. Let's say we skip all of the formalities and just get down to brass tax here. Mr. Callihan, you have been extremely impressive as of late and now that you've ditched that dead weight in the form of Brodie Lee from your Tire Iron Original Crew and replaced him with a much more suitable replacement in the form of Mr. Steen here. Your in-ring style really intrigues me. It reminds me of the kind of style I would nurture and let bloom when I ran ECW those many years ago. What I'm trying to say, Mr. Callihan, is that I like what I see and I think you have the makings of a global superstar. But, I need something from you.
Sami Callihan: Which is....?
Paul Heyman: I'm glad you asked. You see, at the Slammy Awards, there was a certain man who, due to the narrow-minded acts of my predecessor, that Texas Rattlesnake Mr. Nepotism himself, now has the audacity to call himself United States Champion. Now, I'm not saying that King Booker was a worthy champion by any stretch of the imagination. Truth be told, his contract was the first I terminated when I was granted this position. But, the replacement isn't much better.
The crowd starts cheering as they realize who Heyman is talking about.
Paul Heyman: We have a champion who leads a group called the Council of Underwater and Nomadic Talent. We have a champion who spends his days pretending to be a shark, hanging around a man who pretends to be a pirate and a man who pretends to be a professional wrestler. We have a champion who.....emulates Stone Cold Steve Austin. Now, Mr. Austin might have been tickled or amused by such abhorrent behavior but I certainly am not. Which brings me back to you, Mr. Callihan. I see that you're ready for competition. You're ready for an opportunity and I'm willing to give you one. You see, at Unforgiven, Shark Boy will defend his United States Championship against you.....
Kevin Steen interjects.
Kevin Steen: So, you're saying that Sami gets a one-on-one shot at the US Title at Unforgiven?
Paul Heyman: Well, Mr. Steen, not exactly. You see, while I have all the faith in the world in Mr. Callihan's abilities, there are others on this roster who deserve an opportunity as well and, in the interest of fairness, there is also going to be another opponents in this match.
Sami Callihan: Really? Like who?
At this point, Heyman gestures for someone to come out from a side room. Suddenly, walking into frame, comes Bad News Barrett.
Bad News Barrett: Good evening, gentlemen. It has been brought to my attention that you, Sami Callihan, have been granted a United States Title match at Unforgiven. You might be thinking that you have a shot at becoming the new United States Champion but......I'm afraid I've got some BAD NEWS! You see, Sami, you're not the only person in this match and, just so happens, that you're looking at the man who's going to be walking away with the Unites States Championship at Unforgiven. Sami, you are going to do what you've always done.....and lose.
As Barrett has a staredown with the T.I.O.C., suddenly the door crashes open, causing everyone to jump. Then, their eyes all move towards the door and they all have a look of shock on their faces. The camera pans over to see Willow standing there.
Willow: No, Wade Barrett, it is I, Willow, who will be the bearer of Bad News and the bad news is that you still have some unfinished business with me.
Heyman interrupts Willow.
Paul Heyman: Mr. Hardy.....or should I say Mr. Willow? Regardless, you have just returned to action here on SmackDown and, while I appreciate your courage, I also don't condone this kind of behavior. But, again, in the interest of fairness, we all know what you are capable of so here's what I propose. Tonight, if you can defeat Mr. Chris Jericho in tonight's semi-main event, then at Unforgiven, we will see Shark Boy defend his United States Championship against Sami Callihan, Bad News Barrett and.....you.
The crowd pops at the idea and we end the segment with Barrett and Willow glaring holes through one another, with the T.I.O.C. and Heyman looking on with intrigue.
We go to the ring where Chris Jericho is already waiting for Willow to appear.
WILLOW'S WAY!
The crowd ignites as the newly-transformed Willow appears from the back. "Torniquet" by Marilyn Manson begins to play over the loudspeakers as Willow prances down the ramp in an unusual manner. He then hops into the rng and this match is underway.
DING!
DING!
DING!
The referee sounds the bell and this one is underway. Jericho is staring at the former Jeff Hardy with amazement. Willow is gliding around in his corner. Jericho goes to lock up with Willow but Willow slips out and ends up behind Jericho. He takes Jericho down in an amateur fashion and then starts slapping the back of Jericho's head. Willow then stands up and starts doing an odd dance around the ring to the fan's excitement.
The King: What in the world is Jeff Hardy doing?!
Styles: That's not Jeff Hardy. It's Willow!
Jericho gets back up and tries to lock up with Willow again but Willow does a front flip while locked hands with Jericho and ends up twisting Jericho's arm and takes him to the mat. He then grabs Jericho's legs and hops down on top of them, trapping Jericho in an unorthodox pin.
1..
2..
KICK-OUT!!
Jericho gets out and gets to his feet as Willow does. Jericho ducks a clothesline attempt and comes off the ropes. As Willow turns around, Jericho hits him with a forearm smash. Jericho then grabs Willow's legs and attempts to put him in the Walls of Jericho.
Styles: Here goes Willow's US Title hopes!
The King: It might be some Good News for Bad News Barrett!
Before Jericho can slap it in, Willow powers out and shoves Jericho back into the ropes. As Jericho stumbles back, Willow hits him with a monkey flip. Willow then gets back up and waits for Jericho. He then grabs Jericho as he gets back to his feet and throws him into the ropes. Jericho reverses and sends Willow into the ropes. Before he hits the ropes, however, Willow springboards off the second rope and hits Jericho with a crossbody. Willow gets up, as does Jericho and Willow kicks Jericho in the midsection and goes for a Twist of Fate but Jericho squirms out and instead whips Willow into the corner. As Willow approaches the corner, Willow runs up the turnbuckles and hits Jericho with Willow's Whisper!
Styles: Willow's Whisper!
The King: It's the Whisper in the Wind.....
Willow then pins Jericho.
1..
2..
3!!
YOUR WINNER, WILLOW!!!
Styles: Willow is going to Unforgiven to compete in the Fatal 4 Way for the US Title!
The King: Jericho must not even have been trying. This isn't Fozzy!
Jericho rolls out of the ring as Willow has his hand raised. As Willow turns around, Bad News Barrett has slipped into the ring and nails Willow with a Bullhammer. Barrett then laughs as he stands over a fallen Willow.
We open on new SmackDown General Manager Paul Heyman just getting off his cell phone. Todd Grisham approaches and gets Heyman's attention.
Paul Heyman: Umm.....yes? Can I help you?
Todd Grisham: Mr. Heyman, my apologies if I interrupted anything but I just wanting to get a follow-up to earlier tonight, you disrupting AJ Styles' UWF Championship celebration.
Paul Heyman: Who hired you again? Oh yes, that's right. I know who. That foul-mouthed, beer-swilling, toughest S.O.B. in the unemployment line did. Well, Mr.....uh, Grisham, is it? Mr. Grisham, it is my displeasure to inform you.....oh what the hell, it's my pleasure, to inform you that your services here on the SmackDown brand are no longer required. In lamen's terms, Mr. Grisham......you're fired.
Heyman cracks an evil smile and opens the door to his office. The cameras leave Todd Grisham and follow Heyman inside of his office where the members of the T.I.O.C. Sami Callihan and Kevin Steen are seated in front of his desk. Heyman takes a seat and begins addressing him.
Paul Heyman: Ah, Mr. Callihan, Mr. Steen. Can I just say what an honor it truly is to have you seated before me. Do you like the new office? I thought the self-portrait behind me might be too much but, you know what they say, if you've got it, flaunt it. Now, as I am aware, you two are awfully busy men here on SmackDown and I get that. I understand that. Hell, I like that. I respect that. Let's say we skip all of the formalities and just get down to brass tax here. Mr. Callihan, you have been extremely impressive as of late and now that you've ditched that dead weight in the form of Brodie Lee from your Tire Iron Original Crew and replaced him with a much more suitable replacement in the form of Mr. Steen here. Your in-ring style really intrigues me. It reminds me of the kind of style I would nurture and let bloom when I ran ECW those many years ago. What I'm trying to say, Mr. Callihan, is that I like what I see and I think you have the makings of a global superstar. But, I need something from you.
Sami Callihan: Which is....?
Paul Heyman: I'm glad you asked. You see, at the Slammy Awards, there was a certain man who, due to the narrow-minded acts of my predecessor, that Texas Rattlesnake Mr. Nepotism himself, now has the audacity to call himself United States Champion. Now, I'm not saying that King Booker was a worthy champion by any stretch of the imagination. Truth be told, his contract was the first I terminated when I was granted this position. But, the replacement isn't much better.
The crowd starts cheering as they realize who Heyman is talking about.
Paul Heyman: We have a champion who leads a group called the Council of Underwater and Nomadic Talent. We have a champion who spends his days pretending to be a shark, hanging around a man who pretends to be a pirate and a man who pretends to be a professional wrestler. We have a champion who.....emulates Stone Cold Steve Austin. Now, Mr. Austin might have been tickled or amused by such abhorrent behavior but I certainly am not. Which brings me back to you, Mr. Callihan. I see that you're ready for competition. You're ready for an opportunity and I'm willing to give you one. You see, at Unforgiven, Shark Boy will defend his United States Championship against you.....
Kevin Steen interjects.
Kevin Steen: So, you're saying that Sami gets a one-on-one shot at the US Title at Unforgiven?
Paul Heyman: Well, Mr. Steen, not exactly. You see, while I have all the faith in the world in Mr. Callihan's abilities, there are others on this roster who deserve an opportunity as well and, in the interest of fairness, there is also going to be another opponents in this match.
Sami Callihan: Really? Like who?
At this point, Heyman gestures for someone to come out from a side room. Suddenly, walking into frame, comes Bad News Barrett.
Bad News Barrett: Good evening, gentlemen. It has been brought to my attention that you, Sami Callihan, have been granted a United States Title match at Unforgiven. You might be thinking that you have a shot at becoming the new United States Champion but......I'm afraid I've got some BAD NEWS! You see, Sami, you're not the only person in this match and, just so happens, that you're looking at the man who's going to be walking away with the Unites States Championship at Unforgiven. Sami, you are going to do what you've always done.....and lose.
As Barrett has a staredown with the T.I.O.C., suddenly the door crashes open, causing everyone to jump. Then, their eyes all move towards the door and they all have a look of shock on their faces. The camera pans over to see Willow standing there.
Willow: No, Wade Barrett, it is I, Willow, who will be the bearer of Bad News and the bad news is that you still have some unfinished business with me.
Heyman interrupts Willow.
Paul Heyman: Mr. Hardy.....or should I say Mr. Willow? Regardless, you have just returned to action here on SmackDown and, while I appreciate your courage, I also don't condone this kind of behavior. But, again, in the interest of fairness, we all know what you are capable of so here's what I propose. Tonight, if you can defeat Mr. Chris Jericho in tonight's semi-main event, then at Unforgiven, we will see Shark Boy defend his United States Championship against Sami Callihan, Bad News Barrett and.....you.
The crowd pops at the idea and we end the segment with Barrett and Willow glaring holes through one another, with the T.I.O.C. and Heyman looking on with intrigue.
We go to the ring where Chris Jericho is already waiting for Willow to appear.
WILLOW'S WAY!
The crowd ignites as the newly-transformed Willow appears from the back. "Torniquet" by Marilyn Manson begins to play over the loudspeakers as Willow prances down the ramp in an unusual manner. He then hops into the rng and this match is underway.
DING!
DING!
DING!
The referee sounds the bell and this one is underway. Jericho is staring at the former Jeff Hardy with amazement. Willow is gliding around in his corner. Jericho goes to lock up with Willow but Willow slips out and ends up behind Jericho. He takes Jericho down in an amateur fashion and then starts slapping the back of Jericho's head. Willow then stands up and starts doing an odd dance around the ring to the fan's excitement.
The King: What in the world is Jeff Hardy doing?!
Styles: That's not Jeff Hardy. It's Willow!
Jericho gets back up and tries to lock up with Willow again but Willow does a front flip while locked hands with Jericho and ends up twisting Jericho's arm and takes him to the mat. He then grabs Jericho's legs and hops down on top of them, trapping Jericho in an unorthodox pin.
1..
2..
KICK-OUT!!
Jericho gets out and gets to his feet as Willow does. Jericho ducks a clothesline attempt and comes off the ropes. As Willow turns around, Jericho hits him with a forearm smash. Jericho then grabs Willow's legs and attempts to put him in the Walls of Jericho.
Styles: Here goes Willow's US Title hopes!
The King: It might be some Good News for Bad News Barrett!
Before Jericho can slap it in, Willow powers out and shoves Jericho back into the ropes. As Jericho stumbles back, Willow hits him with a monkey flip. Willow then gets back up and waits for Jericho. He then grabs Jericho as he gets back to his feet and throws him into the ropes. Jericho reverses and sends Willow into the ropes. Before he hits the ropes, however, Willow springboards off the second rope and hits Jericho with a crossbody. Willow gets up, as does Jericho and Willow kicks Jericho in the midsection and goes for a Twist of Fate but Jericho squirms out and instead whips Willow into the corner. As Willow approaches the corner, Willow runs up the turnbuckles and hits Jericho with Willow's Whisper!
Styles: Willow's Whisper!
The King: It's the Whisper in the Wind.....
Willow then pins Jericho.
1..
2..
3!!
YOUR WINNER, WILLOW!!!
Styles: Willow is going to Unforgiven to compete in the Fatal 4 Way for the US Title!
The King: Jericho must not even have been trying. This isn't Fozzy!
Jericho rolls out of the ring as Willow has his hand raised. As Willow turns around, Bad News Barrett has slipped into the ring and nails Willow with a Bullhammer. Barrett then laughs as he stands over a fallen Willow.
Jeff Jarrett: Y'all know that song 'I Ain't as Good As I Once Was' by Toby Keith? Well I hate ta admit it boys and girls but that song holds true to me. I had a grand total of two matches in the fall and still I'm feelin' the effects of them. I may be a tag team champion but that doesn't exclude me from them injuries from the ring. No sir that's why I'm bringing in some muscle with me to Smackdown. With the guidance, my new client will set Smackdown to the top of the charts my friend. Smackdown will never be the same when I return with my client... NEXT WEEK ON SMACKDOWN! Can y'all feel it coming?
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Tomorrow Night! 8E/7C US Time
Tomorrow Night! 8E/7C US Time
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We head backstage to see Maxine's reflection as she looks at herself in the mirror. Fandango slowly walks up as his face grazes next to hers.
We head backstage to see Maxine's reflection as she looks at herself in the mirror. Fandango slowly walks up as his face grazes next to hers.
Fandango: I've never seen anything so beautiful. The perfect skin, the great hair. Could you excuse me for a bit.
Fandango pushes Maxine off to the side as he looks at himself. He is soon interrupted when EC3 comes through the door on his phone.
Ethan Carter The Third: Alright I'll trust you for now but this guy better be as good as you say he is!
Ethan hangs up the phone looking irate.
Maxine: What was that about?
Ethan looks annoyed and smiles at Maxine.
Ethan: Oh nothing, just me doing your job! Vince owns the most powerful lawyers in the country and none of them are willing to take our case. Do they not know how much money and power I have? Dixie said her guy would take care of this and instead all the lawyers are too afraid to take the case. For some reason, the higher ups have kept screwing us for the past couple of weeks. First not putting us in the rumble, then making us defend our titles in a ridiculous match, then they change the stipulations that only one of us could win a briefcase, then they switched out the briefcases and gave us a tag team title shot! Pardon my French but what kind of malarkey is that!
Maxine: Wait, aren't you a graduate from Harvard Law? Can't you represent yourself?
Ethan: Pfft. I didn't go to classes I just bribed them. I don't know a thing about law. But Dixie's guy says Vince has all the best American lawyers in his pocket, so we're gonna do the most American thing you can do, outsource. Mexico's best lawyer said he'll take our case.
Fandango: Do you really think that's necessary? Think about it, we get the chance to unify the Tag Team belts. Clearly ours are the superior ones as evident by what happened on RAW when those trailer park freaks lost. But that means we get to face Degeneration X. Shawn Michaels is the current World Heavyweight Champion and we all know the we've beaten two World Champions as a tag team before. It'll just prove without a shadow of a doubt that the World Tag Team Titles are the best belts. We're not just Tag Team Champions, we're a team of World Champions. We're stars. We could fight Shark Boy and Lava Girl at WrestleMania and still be the best part of the show. If I became World Champion again I'd probably just get screwed again but as a team, we're unstoppable.
Ethan rubs his chin and thinks about what Fandango just said.
Ethan: You know what, you're right. But why leave money sitting on the table. I'm still going to sue this company and who knows, maybe they'll go under and we can buy it and it'll just be us 24/7 and the ratings will be through the roof!
Maxine: I don't think there's that many people who would want to just watch you doing nothing all day.
Ethan glares at Maxine.
Ethan: Do you want to know why Fandango dumped you? It's because of stuff like that. Summer keeps her mouth shut and as a result, she's the one who escorts him to the ring now.
Maxine glares back at Ethan and storms out of the room.
Lilian Garcia: The following contest is a hardcore match scheduled for one fall and it is to determine who goes on to Unforgiven to challenge AJ Styles for the UWF Hardcore Championship!
Fandango pushes Maxine off to the side as he looks at himself. He is soon interrupted when EC3 comes through the door on his phone.
Ethan Carter The Third: Alright I'll trust you for now but this guy better be as good as you say he is!
Ethan hangs up the phone looking irate.
Maxine: What was that about?
Ethan looks annoyed and smiles at Maxine.
Ethan: Oh nothing, just me doing your job! Vince owns the most powerful lawyers in the country and none of them are willing to take our case. Do they not know how much money and power I have? Dixie said her guy would take care of this and instead all the lawyers are too afraid to take the case. For some reason, the higher ups have kept screwing us for the past couple of weeks. First not putting us in the rumble, then making us defend our titles in a ridiculous match, then they change the stipulations that only one of us could win a briefcase, then they switched out the briefcases and gave us a tag team title shot! Pardon my French but what kind of malarkey is that!
Maxine: Wait, aren't you a graduate from Harvard Law? Can't you represent yourself?
Ethan: Pfft. I didn't go to classes I just bribed them. I don't know a thing about law. But Dixie's guy says Vince has all the best American lawyers in his pocket, so we're gonna do the most American thing you can do, outsource. Mexico's best lawyer said he'll take our case.
Fandango: Do you really think that's necessary? Think about it, we get the chance to unify the Tag Team belts. Clearly ours are the superior ones as evident by what happened on RAW when those trailer park freaks lost. But that means we get to face Degeneration X. Shawn Michaels is the current World Heavyweight Champion and we all know the we've beaten two World Champions as a tag team before. It'll just prove without a shadow of a doubt that the World Tag Team Titles are the best belts. We're not just Tag Team Champions, we're a team of World Champions. We're stars. We could fight Shark Boy and Lava Girl at WrestleMania and still be the best part of the show. If I became World Champion again I'd probably just get screwed again but as a team, we're unstoppable.
Ethan rubs his chin and thinks about what Fandango just said.
Ethan: You know what, you're right. But why leave money sitting on the table. I'm still going to sue this company and who knows, maybe they'll go under and we can buy it and it'll just be us 24/7 and the ratings will be through the roof!
Maxine: I don't think there's that many people who would want to just watch you doing nothing all day.
Ethan glares at Maxine.
Ethan: Do you want to know why Fandango dumped you? It's because of stuff like that. Summer keeps her mouth shut and as a result, she's the one who escorts him to the ring now.
Maxine glares back at Ethan and storms out of the room.
Lilian Garcia: The following contest is a hardcore match scheduled for one fall and it is to determine who goes on to Unforgiven to challenge AJ Styles for the UWF Hardcore Championship!
Chris Masters comes walking out alone to a fairly mixed reaction from the crowd. He walks down the ramp slowly with a very angry look across his face.
The crowd boos heavily as, AJ Lee and CM Punk come out from the back. They then walk down the ramp, mocking Masters the entire time.
DING!
DING!
DING!
The referee rings the bell and this one is underway. Punk charges at Masters and the two start hammering away at one another. They are just flinging wild punches at each other.
Styles: This resembles more of a fight than a wrestling match!
The King: They don't have to wrestle, Joey. It's a hardcore match!
Masters grabs Punk by the collar and throws him into the corner. He starts taking control of the match as he starts pounding away at Punk with right hands. Then, Masters starts hitting Punk in the midsection with a series of shoulder thrusts. Masters then whips Punk into the opposite corner with force. Punk hits chest first into the corner and stumbles back. Masters then lays him out with a clothesline to the back of the head. Masters then drops down to his knees and starts dropping his knee onto the back of CM Punk's head and neck area, just punishing him. AJ Lee is at ringside, screaming at Punk to get up.
Styles: AJ Lee trying to get Punk back into this.
Styles: AJ Lee trying to get Punk back into this.
AJ pulls a lead pipe from her pocket and slides it into the ring. Punk grabs it without Masters seeing it. As Masters goes to lift Punk up, Punk hits Masters with a low blow with the pipe. Masters falls to his knees, allowing Punk to hit Masters across the head with the pipe. As Masters falls to the mat, Punk covers him.
1..
1..
2..
KICK-OUT!!
The King: A pipe can't stop “The Masterpiece”?
KICK-OUT!!
The King: A pipe can't stop “The Masterpiece”?
Masters gets his shoulder up which causes Punk to start choking Masters out with the pipe. The crowd is showering Punk with boos but this has little effect on him. Masters, in a last ditch effort, hits Punk with another big right hand, knocking him winding. Masters is getting to his feet but before he can, Punk kicks him in the side of the head. Punk then looks around the crowd as they continue to shower him in boos. Punk holds out his arms and shouts “BEST IN THE WORLD!” Punk then picks Masters up himself and tosses him into the corner. Punk then charges at him and hits him with a shining wizard. Punk then follows it up with a running bulldog. Punk then stands up and signals for the GTS.
Styles: Punk has taken complete control of this match and it looks like he's about to end it right here.
Styles: Punk has taken complete control of this match and it looks like he's about to end it right here.
The King: He might be “The Masterpiece” but he's no “Best In The World”!
Punk stalks Masters as he gets to his feet. Punk then gets Masters onto his shoulders but before he can connect with the Go To Sleep, Masters squirms off of his shoulders and ends up behind Punk. Masters then grabs Punk by the back of the head and hurls him over the top rope to the floor outside. Masters then goes outside and grabs Punk by the head and throws him into the barricade. Masters then flips up the apron and starts looking for weapons.
Styles: Now it's getting real, King!
Styles: Now it's getting real, King!
After looking, Masters pulls out a trash can that is filled with a stop sign, a singapore can, a burlap sack, a cheese grater and a barbed wire 2X4. Masters pours all of this out and walks over to Punk and, as he's getting back to his feet, Masters nails him with the trash can in the face. Punk is staggering, which gives Masters an idea. He throws the trash can to the ground. He then grabs Punk and hits him with a DDT onto the trash can!
The King: Masters is taking things too far!
The King: Masters is taking things too far!
Masters then turns Punk over and pins him.
1..
2..
KICK-OUT!!
Masters lifts Punk up and grabs him in a scoop slam and drops him head first onto the barricade. As he does, AJ runs to that side of the ring and grabs the barbed wire 2X4. Masters then turns around and sees AJ with the 2X4 in her hands and he begins stalking AJ, daring her to hit him with the 2X4. As he does, Punk takes advantage and grabs the stop sign. He then turns Masters around and cracks him over the head with it. Masters stumbles back and Punk hits him again. Again, Masters stumbles back, this time grabbing the ring apron to stop himself from falling. Punk then winds up and cracks Masters upside the head one more time with the stop sign, this time taking the big man down.
Styles: Punk is doing everything he can to survive in this match.
1..
2..
KICK-OUT!!
Masters lifts Punk up and grabs him in a scoop slam and drops him head first onto the barricade. As he does, AJ runs to that side of the ring and grabs the barbed wire 2X4. Masters then turns around and sees AJ with the 2X4 in her hands and he begins stalking AJ, daring her to hit him with the 2X4. As he does, Punk takes advantage and grabs the stop sign. He then turns Masters around and cracks him over the head with it. Masters stumbles back and Punk hits him again. Again, Masters stumbles back, this time grabbing the ring apron to stop himself from falling. Punk then winds up and cracks Masters upside the head one more time with the stop sign, this time taking the big man down.
Styles: Punk is doing everything he can to survive in this match.
The King: Survive? The man is a former 2-time International Champion. He can do more than survive.
AJ walks over to Punk and hands him the barbed wire 2X4 and kisses him on the cheek. She then points at Masters with a crazy look in her eyes and screams “FINISH THIS!” Punk then smiles and picks Masters' head up and starts scraping the barbed wire against his forehead. Masters is screaming in pain as Punk punishes “The Masterpiece”. Punk then drops Masters and starts taunting the crowd more. Blood is trickling down Masters' face. Punk then picks the big man up and drags him over to the announcer's table where AJ is getting it ready, taking off the monitors and top layer.
Styles: Hey, now! We still have a match to call!
Styles: Hey, now! We still have a match to call!
The King: Uh oh! Maybe I should move my crown!
Punk then throws Masters onto the table and climbs up onto the apron. AJ keeps Masters steady as Punk then scales the top rope. He then holds his arms high in the air.
Styles: Shades of Macho Man Randy Savage!
Styles: Shades of Macho Man Randy Savage!
Punk then soars off the top rope and nails Masters with an elbow drop through the announcer's table.
The King: They're dead!
The King: They're dead!
Both men lie motionless for a few moments as the crowd goes crazy. Then, Punk begins to stir. He then throws an arm over Masters as the referee counts the pin.
1..
2..
KICK-OUT!!
AJ can't believe it. She grabs at her hair and screams “NO!!” as Masters kicks out. Punk is starting to crawl towards the ring in order to use it to get to his feet, still in disbelief himself. Masters is starting to move as well. Punk slowly gets to his feet as AJ tends to him. Punk tells her to back up as he flips up the apron. Before he can grab anything, Masters is behind him and he kicks Punk's legs out from under him. Masters then grabs a chair from the timekeeper and folds it up. He then threatens AJ with it, who has gotten close, before smashing Punk with it in the back. Punk writhes in pain as Masters becomes ruthless with the chair and continues to bash Punk with it. AJ then sneaks up behind Masters before a chair shot and grabs the chair from Masters. AJ backs up with the chair as Masters begins stalking her, screaming at her while the blood continues to pour from his face. As “The Masterpiece” gets closer, Punk hits him with a low blow once again. As Masters doubles over, Punk grabs him and tosses him into the steel steps, shoulder first.
Styles: AJ Lee is proving to be the difference maker in this match.
2..
KICK-OUT!!
AJ can't believe it. She grabs at her hair and screams “NO!!” as Masters kicks out. Punk is starting to crawl towards the ring in order to use it to get to his feet, still in disbelief himself. Masters is starting to move as well. Punk slowly gets to his feet as AJ tends to him. Punk tells her to back up as he flips up the apron. Before he can grab anything, Masters is behind him and he kicks Punk's legs out from under him. Masters then grabs a chair from the timekeeper and folds it up. He then threatens AJ with it, who has gotten close, before smashing Punk with it in the back. Punk writhes in pain as Masters becomes ruthless with the chair and continues to bash Punk with it. AJ then sneaks up behind Masters before a chair shot and grabs the chair from Masters. AJ backs up with the chair as Masters begins stalking her, screaming at her while the blood continues to pour from his face. As “The Masterpiece” gets closer, Punk hits him with a low blow once again. As Masters doubles over, Punk grabs him and tosses him into the steel steps, shoulder first.
Styles: AJ Lee is proving to be the difference maker in this match.
The King: Oh no you don't, Joey! Don't discount Punk's ingenuity!
Punk walks back over to where the weapons from earlier and grabs the cheese grater and the burlap sack. He then walks back to where Masters is lying and AJ moves to the side. Punk then opens the burlap sack and smiles wide. He then turns the bag upside down and dumps out the contents, which just so happen to be thumbtacks.
Styles: This won't end well, King!
Styles: This won't end well, King!
Punk then walks over to Masters and begins lifting him up. As he does, Masters hits Punk in the midsection. Masters then gets up and bashes Punk's skull into the steel steps. He then walks over to the weapons and grabs the barbed wire 2X4. AJ then stands in Masters way.
The King: AJ, get out of the way. That's a madman!
The King: AJ, get out of the way. That's a madman!
AJ tries to block Masters but then, the crowd ignites. The cameras then catch why. Through the crowd comes Chris Masters' wife, Layla. She hops the barricade and goes right after AJ. She then tackles AJ to the ground and begins hammering away on her. Masters then takes the 2X4 and returns the favor from earlier and starts scraping the barbed wire across Punk's face. Masters lets up as the blood starts pouring out of Punk's head.
Styles: Husband and Wife, together, going to the Extreme!
Styles: Husband and Wife, together, going to the Extreme!
The King: Layla's not even supposed to be here!
Layla has gotten the upper hand as Masters grabs the cheese grater. AJ slaps Layla and gets back to her feet. As Layla does, AJ kicks her in the midsection and goes for a suplex onto the thumbtacks. Before she can, Layla counters and instead turns the suplex around and Layla suplexes AJ onto the thumbtacks!
Styles: OH MY GOD!
Layla then stands up with thumbtacks in her back as Masters slams Punk's head onto the steel steps again. Punk falls limp as Masters turns around to face his wife. Chris Masters and Layla stare at each other, the blood still pouring from Chris' face. They then embrace as the fans cheer. They then kiss, the blood starting to cover Layla's face. Masters then hands Layla the cheese grater.
The King: What's she gonna do with that?!
Styles: OH MY GOD!
Layla then stands up with thumbtacks in her back as Masters slams Punk's head onto the steel steps again. Punk falls limp as Masters turns around to face his wife. Chris Masters and Layla stare at each other, the blood still pouring from Chris' face. They then embrace as the fans cheer. They then kiss, the blood starting to cover Layla's face. Masters then hands Layla the cheese grater.
The King: What's she gonna do with that?!
Masters then picks Punk up and tosses him back into the ring. Masters then walks over and grabs the singapore cane and tosses it into the ring as well. Meanwhile, Layla picks AJ up by the hair and starts scraping the cheese grater across her forehead violently. The crowd is just eating up this kind of violence. Layla lets up as the crowd is cheering her on, and so is her husband from the ring. As he's distracted, Punk rolls him up.
1..
2..
KICK-OUT!!
Masters gets to his feet, as does Punk and he ducks a clothesline attempt from Masters. Instead, Punk hits him with a swinging neckbreaker. On the outside, Layla is stalking AJ and, as the bloodied Lee gets to her feet, Layla lays her out with a roundhouse kick called The Bombshell. Punk sees this and reaches over the top rope and grabs Layla by the hair as the crowd boos.
Styles: That's a woman, Punk!
1..
2..
KICK-OUT!!
Masters gets to his feet, as does Punk and he ducks a clothesline attempt from Masters. Instead, Punk hits him with a swinging neckbreaker. On the outside, Layla is stalking AJ and, as the bloodied Lee gets to her feet, Layla lays her out with a roundhouse kick called The Bombshell. Punk sees this and reaches over the top rope and grabs Layla by the hair as the crowd boos.
Styles: That's a woman, Punk!
The King: She stuck her nose in his business, Joey!
Punk drags her up to the apron. Before he can do anything, she hits him with a big slap to the face which knocks him winding. As he turns around, Masters is back up and he nails Punk with a big axe handle. Punk pops back up and Masters hits him with another axe handle. As Punk gets back up, Masters sends him into the ropes. Masters then sets up for a back body drop by bending over but Punk sees this and stops. He then kicks Masters in the face, causing the big man to stumble backwards. Punk then picks up the nearby singapore cane and clocks Masters between the eyes with it. Masters stumbles back and Punk hits him in the midsection with the cane. Punk then places Masters onto his shoulders again and attempts another GTS. However, once again, Masters slips out and clubs Punk in the back of the head. Masters then picks up the singapore cane and cracks Punk in the back of the head with it.
Styles: Chris Masters will not be denied here!
Styles: Chris Masters will not be denied here!
The King: Punk! Come on!
Masters then places the cane behind Punk's head, on the back of his neck, and then slaps Punk into the Master Lock, using the singapore cane to apply even more pressure. Layla is at ringside, rallying the fans behind her husband as he gets the hold locked in. Masters then thrashes Punk from side to side violently. Punk is trying to fight out but is starting to quickly fade from the blood loss. Masters is also bleeding but seems to be thriving from it as he has a far away crazy look in his eyes. Punk just can't break the Master Lock and passes out. The referee then has no choice but to ring the bell.
YOUR WINNER AND NUMBER ONE CONTENDER TO THE UWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP, “THE MASTERPIECE” CHRIS MASTERS!!!
YOUR WINNER AND NUMBER ONE CONTENDER TO THE UWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP, “THE MASTERPIECE” CHRIS MASTERS!!!
Styles: Chris Masters did it!
The King: He's an insurance liability just waiting to happen!
Masters drops Punk's lifeless body to the mat as the referee holds Masters' arm high in victory. Layla then comes into the ring and the happy couple embrace once again. EMTs are rushing to the ring to check on Punk and AJ as Masters and Layla celebrate with their new fans.
Styles: Chris Masters and Layla have gotten their revenge on CM Punk and AJ Lee!
Styles: Chris Masters and Layla have gotten their revenge on CM Punk and AJ Lee!
The King: Those two are crazier than Bonnie and Clyde!
We end the show on Masters and Layla,husband and wife, celebrating Masters' victory as the crowd basks them in cheers.
END SHOW
CREDITS:
Promos – Respective TTers
CUNT/Sabin & Joe – Nate
Punk/Masters, Willow/Jericho, Heyman segments, Piecing the show together – The Hoov
END SHOW
CREDITS:
Promos – Respective TTers
CUNT/Sabin & Joe – Nate
Punk/Masters, Willow/Jericho, Heyman segments, Piecing the show together – The Hoov
CONFIRMED FOR UWF UNFORGIVEN:
UWF Hardcore Championship:
AJ Styles(c) vs. Chris Masters
UWF United States Championship:
Shark Boy(c) vs. Sami Callihan vs. Bad News Barrett vs. Willow
UWF Hardcore Championship:
AJ Styles(c) vs. Chris Masters
UWF United States Championship:
Shark Boy(c) vs. Sami Callihan vs. Bad News Barrett vs. Willow
this may be the greatest Steen/Callihan promo ever. Fauche is fucking creative as hell! 
