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- Feb 13, 2012
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Derrick Bateman
Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in forever, a completely new awesome show to grace the interwebs has finally arrived. Put your hands together for The Double Dragon's Lair!
A piece of paper slides over the previous one to show a crude Photoshop of the words Double Dragon over Daniel Bryan's Dragon's Lair logo. It remains there for 5 seconds until Curtis drops the paper down to reveal him and Bateman sitting in chairs in front of the camera.
That's right everybody, UWF.com has a new show and it's going to be extra cool!
Carlito Cool.
It's going to be weird.
Real weird!
It's going to be AWWEESOMMEEEE!!!
...
So I bet you're wondering what our show is going to be about.
We haven't figured it out yet!
But we will.
And of course we got the foxy lady on the one's and two's.
Maxine turns the camera around to face her much to the dismay of Bateman.
What are you doing! It took me forever to get the perfect camera angle!
I'm the one behind the camera damnit!
You're going to get my bad side!
You're whole face is your bad side!
Don't make me get up from this chair woman!
Speaking of sexy women...
Thank you for getting me back on track Curtis. Now last week we were caught in the middle of a discussion about our favorite Spice Girls. We got a lot of flack for not even mentioning Scary Spice.
But let's be honest, nobody cared for Scary.
Agreed. And Sporty, you're still very much welcome to accompany me on my way to the ring next Sunday for the Royal Rumble. I'll fight extra hard knowing you'll be there watching me. But to all our dear viewers, please leave your comments in the section below about which Spice Girl YOU found the most attractive during their original run.
I think it's time you started talking about UWF.
Don't tell me what to do Maxine! There's a reason you're behind the camera!
Why am I behind the camera? I'm the beauty. I should be seen.
Yea but you're kind of annoying.
Wha- Johnny!
He's right babe.
And a bitch but let's move on. Now we asked you on Twitter to send us some question and we received a buttload. This question comes from @HBKCena1 "UWF has been seeing more talent leave and new talent emerging recently. Who do you think poses the biggest threat to you?" Well that's a good question. I take it this is not just in NXT but RAW and Smackdown as well. Well the short answer is no one because we can take on anyone but if we were just like everyone else, I don't know who would you say Curtis?
Well I hear Brian Kendrick is doing good.
They both stare at each other before breaking out in laughter.
What about Shelton Benjamin?
Well he's definitely an athletic dude and with his sexy momma at his side, he could definitely pick up some wins.
Sexy?
You know in that cougar way.
No I don't know.
Can we get a picture of Shelton's mama on the screen please.
Oh man look at that.
Yeah I see it dude, disgusting.
Different strokes for different folks.
Very different. She's also kind of pushy. She probably doesn't let Shelton have any fun. He probably has to rub her feet.
Oh!
Johnny looks like he just had an orgasm as Derrick looks on in horror.
What a women!
What about Darren Young?
I was just about to get to that Maxine!
The prime time player.
Look at that ugly hair!
You're one to talk.
Shut up Maxine!
You know he doesn't look like that anymore. Also he's aligned himself with JBL. He can't be any good. All those morons bunched up together can't be good for your health.
It sucks because he had his whole life in front of him.
Have you seen him wrestle? I'd say he's done the right thing. What about Eddie Guererro?
Odelay Holmes!
Hey that's racist.
Oh are you Hispanic?
No.
Then it doesn't matter.
I'm part Cuban.
More like part bullshit.
I think Eddie has always been impressive but since he's on Smackdown, we don't even got to worry about him. Well you do at the Royal Rumble.
I don't have to worry about anybody. I mean look who's in the Rumble. We got the Miz, Seth Rollins, Austin Aries-
All people we've lost to.
Yeah but that was one on one! All I need is a little luck and with the help of Sporty Spice, I'll have more than enough luck on my side! Now this next question comes from @DerrickTroll.
Like he's trolling you?
No like Derrick looks like a troll.
Ha! He kind of does.
I do not look like a troll! The question reads "When are you two bozos going to become tag team champions?" Well the simple answer is Whenever we feel like it!
Faced!
Well I think that concludes our first episode. How do you feel about it Johnny?
It's better than the other three we shot.
Good enough for me. Remember folks, leave us any questions you have for us down below in the comment section or send them to us on Twitter. Also don't forget to tell us which is your favorite Spice Girl and if you can somehow get me in contact with Sporty, I'll be a happy man. So until next time, don't be afraid to...
Unleash the Dragon!
