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UWF RAW and UWF SmackDown Present.......
The First-Ever UWF Slammy Awards 2014
February 11th 2014
Live from the American Airlines Center in Dallas, Texas!
The pyrotechnics display goes off, lighting up the entire arena. The crowd in the sold-out AAC is electric to say the least. The camera zooms around the arena and shows off the screaming maniacs that litter the crowd as well as their signs. Then, we are directed toward ringside where RAW play-by-play commentator "Good Ole' JR" Jim Ross and SmackDown color commentator Jerry "The King" Lawler are sitting by.
JR: Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the 2014 UWF Slammy Awards! I'm "Good Ole' JR" and joining me here for one night only is SmackDown color commentator and my dear friend Jerry "The King" Lawler!
The King: Hey hey, careful with that! We don't wanna break kayfabe! I know you're used to sitting next to that filthy drunk Roddy Piper but I've got a bit more class than that yahoo!
JR: At any rate, tonight is a first here in the Ultimate Wrestling Federation. On top of the Slammy Award ceremony themselves, we have a hell of a wrestling show planned.
The King: You've got that right! Tonight we've got all 4 briefcase winners from the first-ever Rags to Riches match at the Royal Rumble, not only finding out which briefcase they have but also stepping back into the ring as UWF Tag Team Champion Bubba Ray Dudley teams with UWF World Tag Team Champion Fandango to take on "The Samoan Bulldozer" Umaga and the "American Bad Ass" himself, The Undertaker!
JR: Right you are, King, but we've also got a United States Championship from your neck of the woods, SmackDown, as current champion King Booker defends against the leader of the Council of Underwater and Nomadic Talent Shark Boy!
The King: I love the C.U.N.T.!
JR: By how many times you've been divorced, trust me King, we know.
The King: What did I say about kayfabe, JR? Let's get back on track, there's also a title match from RAW taking place as Transatlantic Champion Hulk Hogan goes toe-to-toe with John Cena!
JR: That should be quite the spectacle but we can't forget about the great tag team contest we have scheduled tonight as both teams make their in-ring debuts as tag teams. The Miz and John Morrison take on the extreme duo of Rob Van Dam and Sabu!
The King: I can't wait to see how those two teams stack up against one another but can you believe our main event? It's time for some good old fashioned SmackDown action as new UWF Champion MVP defends against current Hardcore Champion AJ Styles!
JR: Indeed, King. That one should be a classic for sure but, before we move onto the show, we have the duty of updating all of you, the UWF fans, on the condition and well-being of our European Champion and the man, I feel, earned the respect of everyone watching the Royal Rumble, maybe besides Roddy Piper and I'm talking about, of course, Daniel Bryan.
The King: I have to agree with you, JR, and I don't say that phrase often. Daniel Bryan came in and made sure everyone knew his name when it was all said and done and came within a half-inch from becoming Royal Rumble winner.
JR: Unfortunately, it was not to be as the actual Royal Rumble winner Dean Ambrose decided to take the low-road and used a steel chair to secure himself a victory, knowing damn well he couldn't beat Daniel Bryan straight up.
The King: Now that's unfair, JR. Dean Ambrose is a 4-time World Heavyweight Champion. His actions may not have been justified but, you can't argue with results!
JR: I respectfully disagree, King, but we have a health update on Daniel Bryan. UWF trainers and doctors have determined that, as of this moment, Daniel Bryan will be out of action with a severe concussion. There's not a whole lot to report at this particular time but, for the sake of Bryan and the fans of the UWF, we can only hope and pray for a speedy recovery.
The fans all stand up and boo at the 2014 Royal Rumble Winner and only four time World Heavyweight Champion Dean Ambrose as he calmly walks out with his signature black jean jacket and looks out to the sea of people yelling at him. He has a blank look on his face before he starts to smile which makes the crowd even more angry. He walks down the ramp, bobbing his head to the music and climbs up the steel steps without a care in the world.
Ambrose quickly enters the ring and motions for a mic as the ringside crew act fast to give him one so they don't suffer the same fate as Daniel Bryan. Ambrose snatches the mic out of the crew's hand as he looks out to the crowd again with a blank look on his face.
Dean Ambrose: I don't get it.
The crowd is booing louder just because Ambrose has opened his mouth.
Dean Ambrose: You people sit there in your chairs and judge me like I care what you all think. When have I ever made it clear that I care about what you want? The day I set foot in this company, you all hated me. It wasn't until I started beating up the people you hated that you decided to cheer me. I've never been this goody two shoes John Cena type. I've never walked down the aisle slapping hands with people. I've never waved my finger up in the air and made you chant yes.
The crowd begins a YES chant to show their appreciation for Daniel Bryan.
Dean Ambrose: I haven't changed one bit since the beginning and now you want to hate me. Fine, go right ahead. I'll keep doing what I do best and that's destroying people. Just ask Daniel Bryan.
Ambrose gets a sinister smile on his face that has the fans nearly up in arms.
Dean Ambrose: I just don't get how anyone can be mad at me. I clearly warned each and every person in that rumble that I would do whatever it takes to win. I was there to crush people's dreams if they got in my way and it just so happens Daniel Bryan's heart forgot to pay attention to his brain. When Dean Ambrose is the only thing standing across from you in this ring, your only option is to run. But Daniel was too blindsided by his passion to headline Wrestlemania and so now he remains a cautionary tale.
The fans boo Ambrose as he pauses and glances at the crowd.
Dean Ambrose: But enough about Bryan, the real question on everyone's mind is why. Why did Dean Ambrose do what he did. Why has Dean Ambrose turned his back on the world? Well there's a really simple answer for all of that....I've already told you why. Ever since I lost my last World Heavyweight Championship, I've just been the man who takes out the trash. I fought for RAW for months before idiots like the Rock and Stone Cold fought over who would captain a team in a match that never took place. Over four months of my life wasted with no payoff. So then I told Randy to give me the best competition he had to offer and what does he give me? Chris Jericho. A man whose had I don't even know how many returns and failed very single time. That was the challenge Randy? But then The Shield got involved. Something else to take my mind off of getting back to where I belonged but I said no. I wasn't going to stoop to their level and let them sidetrack me like everyone has in the past. No I just settled for embarrassing them and then moving on. I have better things to do than be involved with a group who is useless without me.
Ambrose grins as the crowd doesn't react too badly since they don't like The Shield either.
You see as the Royal Rumble winner, I can challenge for any world title I want. I can become a five time World Heavyweight Champion. I can take back what belongs to me and low and behold, the current "champion" is the same man who took advantage and stole that title from me after Cody Rhodes interfered. Oh how satisfying it would be to finally exact my revenge against the man who has been dodging me ever since. That is if he can hold onto it until WrestleMania. But the only revenge that could be sweeter is obtaining the title this company tried so hard to keep away from me, the UWF Championship.
Ambrose smiles fondly as he slowly walks back and forth, reflecting on the early days of UWF.
For those of you new to watching UWF, way back when I was Hardcore Champion, I was beating the number one contenders to the UWF Championship and main eventing RAW and yet the higher ups didn't want me anywhere near their precious UWF world title scene. So instead they made Smackdown and I was the first person chosen to be drafted. I quickly showed how close I was to breaking out when I won the World Heavyweight Championship and became Smackdown's first world champion. And now I can finally get the chance to take what they've tried to keep away from me. Or I can do something no one thinks and go for the Global Championship. A title that hasn't yet been tarnished by all the cowardly tactics. I can make that the greatest title in all of UWF.
The fans boo loudly as Ambrose looks at the giant WrestleMania sign.
The options are endless. Everyone dreams of being in the main event of WrestleMania, but only one man actually has the fortitude to make it happen. There's nothing more dangerous than a man who has one thing set on his mind with nothing to lose. I'll stop at nothing to ensure I become champion again. Last year at WrestleMania, I turned a regular match into a hardcore match because I felt like it and the officials did nothing because they couldn't do anything. What were they going to do, stop me? Nobody stops Dean Ambrose. This ring is my own personal torture chamber, and if any of you think about stepping across this ring from me... let's just say you'd prefer what I did to Daniel Bryan instead.
The crowd boos heavily as Ambrose laughs and drops the mic before exiting the ring. Ambrose walks up the ramp backwards, never taking his eyes off the WrestleMania sign before disappearing behind the curtain.
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UWF Tuesday Night RAW! Featuring your favourites such as Dean Ambrose, Daniel Bryan, and your World Heavyweight Champion Shawn Michaels!
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Cameras head backstage to catch up with the man that was once again, unsuccessful at becoming the UWF World Heavyweight Champion, Tyson Kidd. The crowd boos as soon as Kidd's face appears on the titantron. He doesn't look to be in a good mood and he pushes Renee Young out of the camera shot so only his face can be seen.
Tyson Kidd
"What all of you saw at the Royal Rumble was a travesty. This themes to be a reoccurring theme, each month, they find out how to screw Tyson Kidd. Oh and you'll all have to excuse me, there's a reason my wife Natalya isn't here with me tonight, because those guys that all of you look up to, your World Champion and that degenerate of a COO, decided to Superkick and then Pedigree and innocent woman, right after her almost being molested outside of the ring by that old sack of shit Ric Flair. What you witnessed at the Royal Rumble was an embarrassment, it was embarrassing not only for myself, but every other guy in the back that's worked his ass of to get here. Sunday just shined a light on what this company is really up to. No matter how good you are, no matter how hard you've worked, none of that matters if you don't kiss some ass along the way. Love me or hate me I've worked my tail off to get to where I am, a lot of people call me cocky but all of those people are just jealous."
Kidd takes a short pause to wipe his mouth off before staring right into the camera once again as he's now shouting his words.
Tyson Kidd
"We all know that Shawn can't beat me on his best day, time after time he has to take the low road. Open your eyes people, is that really the man you want representing this company? Well soon enough we won't have to deal with Shawn as the Champion of this company... Now even though I got screwed last night, even though I was once again cheated out of what I deserve, surprise, Triple H has not granted me for the World Championship. But here's the thing, Triple H's days are numbered. Remember that contract that Triple H signed on Raw a few weeks ago? That stated that if he fails to call my match right down the middle, or if he puts his hands on me, my lawyers will sue him for everything he's worth. Guess what Hunter, not only did you not call it down the middle like you promised you would, but you also put your hands on me and got a little bit too physical with my wife. So Shawn, enjoy your last fews moments you have with that Championship, because as we speak, my lawyers are getting all their legal documents prepared and are ready to sue the pants off of Triple H. I can promise you that you both are going to lose everything."
The crowd boo's at the Canadian. The boo's are mixed with some 'You Suck' chants as well.
Tyson Kidd
"Now I love the UWF, so I would never let it die, I've put more blood, sweat, and tears into that mat than anyone else. I've been here every single night for almost a year now, believe it or not, I love this company. So I'm not going to let it sink along with Triple H. Instead, I had a better idea, how does this sound? Tyson Kidd...the COO of the UWF?"
A large smile begins to grow on the face of Tyson Kidd as the crowd's boo's are heard easily from inside the arena. He doesn't look to be finished speaking yet though.
Tyson Kidd
"In a few weeks, I have the ability to run this company, and I can do whatever I want. Now I know Shawn doesn't have the balls to put his World Championship up again so I can tell that's not going to happen. So here's what I propose, next time we're on pay-per view, right before Wrestlemania. I'll drop all the charges for one match. Myself Tyson Kidd, and a partner of my choosing, versus Triple H & Shawn Michaels, Degeneration-X, because Hunter, as much as I would love taking your job and therefor making you homeless, I'm not an evil person, you have a wife and children, you need your career. So the only thing I want is the chance to kick your ass and that pretty boy friend of yours. What do you have to lose? The gold won't be on the line Shawn, and hell, you've beat me all these times, are you afraid of me? But of course, if that offer doesn't sound too appealing, then I could always see you in court?"
Kidd has a huge grin on his face as he walks off of camera and the backstage cameras go elsewhere.
Reverend D'Von Dudley: Well well well my brothers and sisters; the good Lord has not decieved his humble servent at all. I may have lost the Royal Rumble like I have anticipated, but I have been awarded from my hours of service with this award! I am shocked that I am the victor of the 'Surprise Moment of the Year' award, but at the same time I'm not too surprised that I won it. I mean I know that Mr. Jeff Hardy hasn't been the same since that bout. He's jumped around different brands, he's undergone so many character changes, and he has failed again and again at achieving different title belts. My brother, I know that your path to the light is a bumpy one, but I have full faith that you will make it there and you will be reborn under the guidance of God!
A mixed reaction, mostly boos can be heard from the crowd as D'Von continues on.
Reverend D'Von Dudley: It is ok my brothers and sisters, I am not here to shove the word of the Lord down your throats like I used to, but rather instead I'm going to point out the flaws in your people's logic. You see...
Bubba Ray Dudley appears and silences Reverend D'Von, telling him to be quiet as he speaks in the microphone instead.
Bubba Ray Dudley: Let's get one thing straight D'Von. There's no flaw in yer logic, but callin' des people stoopid is just plain dumb! I know that yer feelin' down from losin' the Rumble match, or that I have a briefcase and you don't, or that you've earned a meaningless trophies for all yer efforts, or that... well doesn't matta'. What mattas' is dat we're still the only UWF Tag Team Champions, and dat we're gonna stick together to become one of dat best tag teams that eva' exsisted in da UWF! We are da Goddamn Dudley Boyz and WE ARE THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! Not those rich asswipes, and certainly nobody else, ya hear meh?
Reverend D'Von Dudley: Of course I hear you my brother...
Bubba Ray Dudley: NO! Yer hearin' meh but you ain't listenin' ta meh! Drop all dis bullcrap about God and let's do what we do best mah brother, and dat is becoming da very best that da UWF has eva' seen! Screw dis trophy and screw everything that da hater's are sayin'. Yer mah half-brother and nuttin' will change that! We have da Dudley name ta abide by and we will defend these belts as long as we're still standing!
Reverend D'Von looks at the trophy, then looks at Bubba with his big smile and throws the trophy away.
Reverend D'Von: You are absolutely right my brother! From this day forth I shall be known as a Dudley and a true Tag Team Champion, not some lunatic Reverend that tries to brainwash others into his personal religion.
Bubba Ray Dudley: Damn right D'Von! We're going to da top brother! And once you get rid of the 'Reverend' off yer name then we can officially become the Dudley Boyz!
Reverend D'Von shakes his head as Bubba looks away.
...Or you can keep yer Reverend name. Works for me.
The Dudleyz both leave the stage to head backstage as Reverend D'Vons acceptance speech is officially done and over with.
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The Elimination Chamber match looks solid this year, but more importantly The Wyatts vs The Shield!
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As the bumpin' track builds, the fans begin to totally lose their shit. The song cuts out - an explosion of fireworks and blue smoke - and out of nowhere The Miz and John Morrison appear in the ring, surrounded by 40 astoundingly hot super models. The groove starts a' groovin' and the super models dance the way only super models can while Miz and Morrison pose dramatically in the stage. This goes on for exactly four minutes and the UWF faithful love every moment of it. Finally, the super models dance their way back up the ramp and the music fades out, leaving the greatest tag team in e-fed history
bout half a minute of “Walk” blares over the PA system before the old school trio show their beautiful faces to the adoration of the crowd. As a spotlight shines on them, it’s apparent that they’ve already got microphones so no need to collect any after they step into the ring. “Walk” fades out
Ding...
Ding...
Ding...
Miz starts out with Sabu as both men lock up, Miz goes and he breaks the traditional lock up with a kick to the gut, which causes displeasure to the fans, but the Miz has a smarky look on his face. Miz goes and he bounces off the ropes Miz goes and he hits a boot right in the face of Sabu. Miz then grabs the down Sabu, and he starts to land shoulders onto his elbows as he goes and locks in the headlock onto Sabu, Sabu though manages to build his base quickly, and he pushes the Miz off of him. Miz goes bouncing off the ropes and Sabu goes and hits a standing dropkick onto him. Sabu then goes and he heads to the outside of the ring, and springboards with a moonsault onto Miz. Sabu goes for the cover.
1…
No Miz kicks out, and Miz sleezly rolls out of the way, and tags in John Morrison the fans cheer seeing that Morrison and Sabu will tangle it up. Morrison goes in the ring and he locks up with Sabu, as they test their strength with one another. Morrison goes as he manages to get the advantage on Sabu irish whipping him into the ropes. Morrison goes and he jumps over the charging Sabu, and Sabu rebounds again getting caught into an armdrag by Morrison, Morrison goes as he holds the arm tight, Morrison though drags Sabu into his corner, and he tags in Miz. Miz goes and he kicks the gut of Sabu. Miz goes for the pin.
1..
No Sabu kicks out
Jim Ross: Great teamwork shown by Miz and Morrison so far.
Jerry Lawler: Man they are doing well on not getting RVD in this match.
Miz goes and he picks up Sabu, and he lifts him up high hitting a vertical suplex onto him. Miz goes and he gets up as he bows for the move he just did causing the fans to boo, Miz goes and he tags in his partner Morrison, and Morrison flicks his hair. Morrison goes and hits a disco leg drop onto Sabu. Morrison goes for the cover.
1…
2…
No Sabu kicks out again. Morrison goes and he picks up the down Sabu and throws him to the turnbuckle, but Sabu goes as he runs towards it as he climbs up it and he contorts his body in midair hitting a diving crossbody onto Morrison. Sabu then goes as he runs at the Miz in the corner knocking him off of it. Sabu extended all of his energy doing those series of moves as he lies down on the mat crawling to RVD. The fans are chanting RVD as they want him in this match. Sabu is crawling, Alfonso is blowing his whistle, and RVD is reaching, just reaching for that tag. RVD goes and he is reaching out, Sabu goes and he tags in RVD as the fans pop.
Jim Ross: Here comes RVD
RVD goes and he hops over the top rope and the fans cheer like crazy as RVD goes after Morrison, but Morrison looks like he going to punch RVD, but RVD blocks it, and punches him in the face a couple of times, followed by a low leg sweep which the fans cheer for like crazy. RVD goes and he bounces off the ropes and he hits the rolling thunder onto Morrison, RVD then goes to the turnbuckle. RVD goes and he hits his split legged moonsault onto Morrison, and he goes for the cover and the pin.
1…
2…
No kick out by Morrison
Jim Ross: I bet ya RVD made a point in doing that move, since Morrison trashed it earlier this week.
Jerry Lawler: Yeah said he made it better, who does this guy think he is.
Morrison gets picked up by RVD, and RVD brings him in close hitting him with hard shots. The fans cheer for RVD’s onslaught as he throws Morrison into the corner, RVD goes charging at Morrison in the corner, but we see the Miz tap Morrison’s back signaling a tag has been made. RVD dosen’t notice as RVD goes and hits a monkey flip right onto John Morrison. RVD gets up and he begins to do the crowd favorite R….V…No Miz interrupts grabbing RVD’s head, and brings it down on his knee, Miz then quickly goes and hits a swinging neckbreaker on to RVD, and the Miz goes and he picks up the down RVD, and puts him on his knees. The Miz then drops a sharp DDT right onto RVD as he goes for the cover.
1…
2…
No RVD kicks out of the move as the Miz looks on in disbelief on how RVD kicked out of the move. RVD is reeling up as the Miz is behind him and he looks to hit the skull crushing finale onto RVD. RVD gets trapped in the full nelson lock, but RVD though rolls through it. The Miz though rebounds quickly as he charges at RVD, but RVD tries and kicks him. The Miz catches the kick, but RVD goes as he hits his trademark enzguri onto the Miz. RVD goes as he dives for a tag at Sabu who goes and he heads to the top rope. Miz is getting up and Sabu goes and hits a cross body right onto the Miz. Sabu then bounces off the ropes and hits a leg drop right on Miz. Sabu looks into it as he backs up into the corner where Miz and Morrison are. Morrison goes and he grabs the hair of Sabu, which causes Sabu to turn around and push Morrison lightly. Morrison is trying to act innocent acting like he did nothing wrong. Sabu though as he is paying attention Miz goes from behind him, and Miz goes as he hits the skull crushing finale on him. Miz then quickly tags Morrison and he goes as he charges at RVD knocking him off the turnbuckle. Morrison goes and bounces off the turnbuckle hitting starship pain. Morrison goes for the pin.
1…
2…
3….
Justin Roberts: Here is your winner John Morrison, and the Miz.
Miz and Morrison arrogantly celebrate as they get there hands raised, and Morrison goes as he acts snobbish as possible, and so does Miz. Sabu is being checked on, and RVD looks on at disgust as the Salmmies move on.
(The camera pans to the backstage area with Josh Matthews)
Josh Matthews: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm being joined by a very special guest... his name, is Dolph Ziggler.
(Dolph enters)
Josh: How're you doing, Dolph?
Dolph Ziggler: I'm not bad, Josh. Doing pretty good.
Josh: That's great, now as everyone knows we haven't seen you for a while, three months to be exact. What have you been up to, where have you been?
Dolph: Well Josh, there comes a time in every man's life where he has to do a little bit of soul searching, and that's exactly what I've been doing. Over the past three months, I've been traveling all over this world, not to wrestle, but... to find something. Now, I didn't know exactly what I was looking for, but whatever it was, I knew that I had to find it, and to be honest with you... I think I did. I'm at a point in my life now where I can talk to everyone about this, something I never thought I'd be able to do before.
For... my entire life Josh, I've been... different. In high school I joined the football team to fit it, I mean, if you were on the football team, you were treated like royalty. Teachers went easier on you, everyone wanted to be your friend, and the girls... well... who doesn't like an athlete, right?
But I wasn't happy, why? Because I wasn't being me. I wasn't being true to myself. What I can say now that I couldn't say back then, was that I always wanted to be a cheerleader... That's all I ever wanted, but I was too scared to do anything about it. Too scared to tell anyone my real passion. As many people know when I became a professional wrestler, I finally got to live out that dream, and me and the guys had the time of our lives. Wrestling legends like DX, and John Cena, hell, even Ric Flair. But eventually I saw all my friends leave.. each and every member of the Spirit Squad. One by one they quit, or got fired, or lost their passion for this business, and once they left, I knew I had to change.
I couldn't be me, I couldn't run around in a leotard all by myself. I knew the ridicule I'd get backstage. So I changed, I grew my hair, I became more intense, I became someone I didn't even recognize, and I resented myself for that. That's why I left for the past three months, that why I took some time off, but guess what Josh, I'm back now... and I'm finally able to let go of what was holding me back all these years, I'm finally able to... well... show the world who I really am...
Josh Matthews, my name is Dolph Ziggler, and I am a homosexual..."
(Dolph slowly walks off)
We come back to the Slammys podium where host David Arquette is standing by.
David Arquette: These next presenters really need no introduction......mainly because they give themselves a pretty damn good one already. Ladies and Gentlemen, here to present the award for Tag Team of the Year, The New Age Outlaws!
OH YOU DIDN'T KNOW!
The theme music of the New Age Outlaws begins to play and the crowd looses their minds. After the first few bars of music, Road Dogg and Billy Gunn emerge from the back. they reach the podium and Road Dogg looks at Billy gunn with a concerned look on his face.
Road Dogg: You know, Billy, it's been a long damn time since either one of us have been up here. I'm kinda feeling a little nervous. I mean, how long has it been since we've said......llllllllllllladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages! D-Generation X proudly brings to you it's 5 Time Tag Team Champions of the Wooooooorrrrrrrrlllllld........The Road Dogg Jesse James........The Bad Ass Billy Gunn.......The New Age Outlaws!
The crowd chants along with Road Dogg and goes crazy as he finishes. Billy then takes the mic.
Billy Gunn: And, if you're not down with that, we've got two words for ya'!
The crowd screams "SUCK IT!" as James and Gunn look on with glee. They then continue speaking.
Road Dogg: Now, we know a little something about tag teams because, well, we are one, but we've got some killer names on the list. Let's take a look at the nominees for Tag Team of the Year......
-Beer Money (James Storm & Robert Roode)
-Modern Day Double Dragons (Fandango & Ethan Carter III)
-Y.E.S. (Damien Sandow & Bray Wyatt)
-L.A.X. (Homicide & Hernandez)
-Los Guerreros (Eddie & Chavo Guerrero)
Road Dogg opens the envelope and Billy reads the winner.
Billy Gunn: And the winners are.........Fandango &Ethan Carter III, the Modern Day Double Dragons!
Fandango's music hits and the crowd is booing like hell. Fandango and EC3 both come out with Summer Rae and Maxine behind them carrying their World Tag Team Championship belts. Fandango glances over at the New Age Outlaws and scoffs at them. He puts his hand in Road Dogg's face and tells him to move out of the way before speaking.
Fandango: Uhh, news flash grandpa's, we are no longer called the Modern Day Double Dragons. That was the name of the unsuccessful team of Derrick Bateman and Johnny Curtis. We're so much better than a video game. We're like the Modern Day Greek Adonis's. We're so much above the rest of the tag team division, it's not even funny.
Ethan Carter the Third: Well it's a little funny. I mean you guys got a pair of bottom feeders running around here thinking their THE Tag Team Champions when we're the ones with the award. With that kind of competition, what other choice did you guys have? The long lasting teams of Daniel Bryan and Dean Ambrose or John Cena and Edge. What about Beer Money? Remember them? They stole those other titles from us in the first round of the tag team tournament awhile back. Hey where are all those teams now? True talent prevails over all and we are at the top of the pyramid. Not in just tag team but singles as well as Fandango has proven and will prove again when he gains the world title back.
The fans are booing the former Modern Day Double Dragons as they don't seem to care.
Fandango: I couldn't have said it better myself. But not just me, since coming under my guidance, Ethan Carter has become just as undefeated as I have and we will continue our success because we're leaps and bounds better than everyone else. We're the One Percent of this company and the rest of you are just everyone else.
Fandango and Ethan both raise their Slammy's high in the air as Maxine and Summer Rae raise their World Tag Team Championships at the same time. They all leave the stage shortly after.
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The UWF Monthy Awards!
Go check that out and nominate for your favourite Superstars, matches and Tag Teams for the Month of January. Do it, now!
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We return from Commerical as Roddy Piper is standing in the ring with a microphone in hand and 4 stands that are placed side by side. The Piper's Pit is set up in the ring much to the crowd's amazement.
King: What the heck is he doing here? I thought he was relieved of his duties for the night?
JR: Oh King you have so much to learn about Roddy.
Piper gets a chant going as Piper is fired up for another solid edition of Piper's Pit.
Roddy Piper: Well well well it looks like that that the POTUF can't bring this old dog down. They took me off commentary for ONE NIGHT and look what happens, Piper's Pit ends up returning to the UWF! How does that sound yeh cunts?
Piper gets a round of applause as Piper smiles, then points to the stage.
Roddy Piper: Tonight I have been granted to take on four of the chosen ones. Four members that went into the Rags to Riches match and some how managed to grab a bloody briefcase. And what are I going to do with them you may ask? I'm going to have them reveal the briefcases right here, right now! Oh yeah I bet you sons of bitches like that, huh? Well no more time wasting, please allow me to introduce to you the holders of the briefcases, by the order that they were retrieved.
The crowd boos as they know who retrieved the first briefcase.
Roddy Piper: Introducing first, a dancing fool that normally would make me laugh but he managed to score two hot broads in his career... and Dixie Carter, so he has my eternal respect. Ladies and gentleman I give you.... FANDANGO!
Fandango enters the ring and places his briefcase on the first podium. He gives off a sassy look to Piper then waves off the crowds insults. Piper gives Fandango a mean-looking stare then turns his attention to the stage.
Roddy Piper: Introducing next, he is the biggest he-man since the history of he-mans. He is without the doubt the most deserving of the briefcase holders not because of his man-size physique but because of that gal that follows him around. He is the Samoan Bulldozer.... UMAGA!
Roddy Piper is seen clapping his hands as Umaga makes the stage and raises his briefcase up high, yelling to the crowd as he shakes the ropes nearby. Umaga is pumped up as he slams his briefcase onto the briefcase stand, then eyes Fandango as Fandango rolls his eyes and looks away.
Roddy Piper: Now play nice you two, you have all the time in the world to rip each other to shreds in your match later on tonight. Now introducing the bottom bitch of the Dudleyz, and no I'm not talking about Spike Dudley either. This man has a bunch of potential but he keeps getting dragged down by his loser Reverend brother. Ladies and gentleman, I give you... Bubba Ray Dudley!
Bubba Ray Dudley enters the ring and gets into a staredown with Fandango briefly, then walks away and places his briefcase onto the third podium, ignoring the stares from Umaga.
Roddy Piper: There's a good lad. Well finally we have the Superstar that everyone is waiting to hear from *cheers can be heard*. This guy is probably the biggest... oh screw it I'm bored ladies and gentleman... THE UNDERTAKER!
Undertaker is done riding around the ring and enters, posing for the crowd which gathers him some nice pops before placing his briefcase down on the final stand. Taker looks on a Bubba, then glances briefly at Umaga before Piper takes the stage again.
Roddy Piper: Alright lassies, this is how it's gonna work. One by one I'm going to ask you to reveal your briefcase for that camera right there, but you can't leave the ring until all briefcases have been revealed. Got it? Well alright then let's start with Fandango's briefcase. Fandango, please open up your briefcase.
Fandango flips the lock off the briefcase and opens it. He lowers the lid down for the crowd to see and it reveals to be for a Tag Team Championship Shot! Fandango looks confused with the briefcase he has. He looks down at his tag team title belt, then back to the briefcase, then to Piper then shakes his head in disbelief.
Roddy Piper: Good effort there lad. At least you got something right? Well anyways lets move on to Umaga. When you calm your tits down buddy then you can open up your briefcase.
Umaga screams out loud and forces the briefcase open without unlocking it first. He manages to break apart the lock and opens up the briefcase with all his strength, revealing that the briefcase is for a World Championship Shot! Umaga yells out loud again in victory as both Taker and Bubba shake their heads, knowing that the World title opportunity is already gone.
Roddy Piper: Haha! Sorry boys but your dreams of a world title opporuntity are gone just like that! But there's still two other titles shots avaliable, so let's see what Bubba Ray has in his briefcase.
Bubba Ray opens up his briefcase, opens it up with some difficulty and finally reveals what's inside the briefcase: A Second Tier title shot! Bubba is laughing now as Undertaker is looking pissed off, knowing what his title case actually is. Undertaker opens up his briefcase in a fury and sees that his briefcase holds a Third Tier title shot. Bubba Ray Dudley is still laughing at Undertaker but Taker grabs the throat of Bubba. Bubba struggles as a brawl happens between the four participants. Roddy Piper is having a laughing fit in the ring but raises up his mic.
Roddy Piper: Alright ladies break it up. You can save it for your tag team match that it's happening very shortly. And when I mean shortly... I MEAN NOW!
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Sometimes you have to mention the positives when insulting people. Jesus will always be there for you, not matter how stupid you can get.
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The bell is sounded three times as Fandango and Umaga slowly circle around the ring, both men staring into the eyes of each other. Umaga roars and beats his chest but Fandango keeps his calm demeanour as the rampaging bull known as Umaga who charges at Fandango, but Fandango holds his ground and catches Umaga into an elbow & collar tie up; but Umaga manages to shunt Fandango backwards, Fandango is back pedalling due to Umaga’s raw strength before slamming Fandango into the corner. Umaga reverses backwards before lunging back into Fandango, slamming his hip, crushing Fandango between Umaga and the turnbuckles, Umaga becomes relentless in his assault, carrying out the same move four times before being asked to back off by referee Charles Robinson; Umaga isn’t best impressed but follows the referees instructions.
Jim Ross: Umaga looks to be in rare form here tonight King, as he can't wait to cash in the Global Championship shot he holds.
Jerry Lawler: Umaga is one tough cookie JR, but Fandango is no slouch!
Fandango slaps Bubba across the chest not wanting any more of Umaga; Bubba climbs into the ring and yells, “You want some of this!” At Umaga but those are fatal words and Umaga charges at Bubba; Bubba dodges out of the way of Umaga and on Umaga’s rebound, Bubba plants an elbow into Umaga knocking him down to the ground; Bubba then seizes the moment to grab a quick pinfall attempt on the monster.
One…
Two…
Umaga pushes Bully Ray off of him with ease and gets back to his feet and begins to trade blows in the middle of the ring but Bubba takes a cheap shot to the gut; Umaga keels over for a moment allowing Bubba to follow up with a Bionic Elbow; Umaga hits the canvas but rolls back to his feet, Bubba tries to take down Umaga again but this time, Umaga ducks underneath and heads Bubba knocking him down to the canvas. Umaga steps backwards and roars at the top of his voice to show his dominance but this has allowed Undertaker to slap Umaga across the back and steps into the ring.
Jim Ross: Looks like The Undertaker wants a piece of action.
Jerry Lawler: How are these teams gonna coexist?
Undertaker climbs over the top rope as Bubba and quickly tags in Fandango, who suffers the wrath of The Undertaker; Taker tosses Fandango over the top rope into the ring as Fandango spent to much time dithering on the ring apron, Fandango rolls to his feet and turns around straight into a big boot from The Undertaker knocking him down to the canvas; Fandango shoots back up to his feet which allows Undertaker grab the arm of Fandango and Irish Whips Fandango across the ring; but Fandango manages to recover and nails The Undertaker with a leaping Leg Lariat taking The Undertaker down to the canvas and Fandango quickly goes for a cover.
1...
2...
Taker gets the shoulder up!
Fandango brings Taker to his feet as Bubba shots at Fandango to tag him in but Fandango laughs. "I'm going to get all the tags titles around my waste not yours!" Bubba just laughs as Taker comes back to life and nails Fandango with a big right hand. Taker clearly has some frustrations to work out having just picked up the 3rd Tier Championship shot. Taker grabs Fandango and throws him head first into the steel turnbuckle and as Fandango comes out of there Taker wraps his hand around Fandango's throat ready to chokeslam him!
Jim Ross: Oh here we go, Fandango could be going for a ride here.
Jerry Lawler: Taker is looking to hurt some people here tonight like he tried to do to Kane at the Royal Rumble.
As Taker is about to chokeslam Fandango, the former International Champion counters into a hurricanrana. Taker goes falling to the mat and this allows Fandango a chance to get back in this. He goes over and starts stomping away at Taker, trying to wear him down. Fandango then wraps his legs around Taker's arm and crashes down on it. Fandango then tags in Bubba Ray.
JR: It just goes to show why these two men are Tag Team Champions.
Bubba starts hammering away at Taker, hitting him with right hands and a few elbows. He picks Taker up and whips him into the ropes. As Taker comes back, Bubba bends down for a back body drop but Taker counters and hits Bubba with a big running DDT. Taker then covers Bubba.
1..
2..
Fandango interrupts the pin but Umage charges in and hits Fandango with a big splash. Umage then goes to the outside and grabs Fandango and throws him into the steel steps. Fandango hits shoulder first into the steel steps as Umaga lets out a big roar. Inside the ring, Take grabs Bubba by the head and lifts him back up to his feet. He places Bubba on his shoulder and walks over towards the corner. He then drops Bubba onto the turnbuckle, hitting Bubba with Snake Eyes. Bubba stumbles back, allowing Taker to capitalize once again. As Bubba turns around, Taker levels him with a big boot.
Jerry Lawler: The Deadman is taking out his briefcase frustrations out on Bubba Ray Dudley!
Taker grabs Bubba by the arm and drags him back to his feet. Taker then scales the turnbuckle while holding onto Bubba's arm. He then starts tightrope-walking the top rope. Taker then comes off and hits Bubba with the Old School!
JR: A little bit of Old School here at the Slammys, King!
Jerry Lawler: I've missed seeing this on SmackDown, JR!
As he comes down, Taker looks over at Umaga on the apron, wanting a tag. Taker then walks over and tags him in. As Bubba is down on the mat, Fandango climbs onto the the apron and slaps Bubba's shoulder, tagging himself in. Umaga looks over and roars again as Fandango enters the ring. Umaga then charges at Fandango, trying to splash him into the corner. Fandango sidesteps Umaga and the "Samoan Bulldozer" crashes into the corner chest first. He stumbles back and this allows Fandango a chance to roll him up in a school boy pin.
1..
2..
KICK-OUT!!
Umaga gets back up to his feet and has had enough. Fandango is back up as Umaga starts hitting him with stiff right hands. He throws him into the ropes. As he comes back, Umaga goes for a back body drop but Fandango stops and kicks Umaga in the face. Fandango looks over at Taker and hits him with a dropkick to the legs, knocking him off the apron. On the way down, Taker hits his head on the apron and falls down. Fandango looks pleased with himself but, as he turns around, he sees Umaga glaring a hole right through him. Fandango tries to exit the ring but Umaga catches him and drags him back in. He hits him with a club to the back and knocks him winding. Umaga sends him back into the ropes. Unbeknownst to Umaga, Bubba slaps Fandango on the back and is a legal tag. On the rebound, Umaga throws Fandango into the air and catches him in a samoan drop. Umaga then scales the turnbuckle to the second rope and screams once more. Before he can do anything, however, Bubba hits him in the back of the head with a forearm smash.
JR: Bubba's the legal man!
Jerry Lawler: Umaga doesn't know that!
Bubba then locks Umaga in a full nelson and hits Umaga with a Bubba Bomb from the top rope!
JR: GOOD GAWD!
The King: What a move!
Umaga hits hard on the mat, as does Bubba. With Bubba's last bit of strength, he places an arm over Umaga.
1..
2..
3!!
YOUR WINNERS, UWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPION FANDANGO AND UWF TAG TEAM CHAMPION BUBBA RAW DUDLEY!!!
JR: The tag team champions of RAW and SmackDown defeated two big monsters here tonight!
Jerry Lawler: They outsmarted them, JR. Brains always overcomes brawn!
Fandango is met on the ramp by Summer Rae and EC3 and Bubba is met by D'Von. The two pairs of tag team champions have a staredown on the ramp as we fade into the next segment.
Jeff Jarrett is unexpectly seen backstage as the fans are a bit surprised to see him there. Jarrett clears his throat as he begins to speak to the camera, wishing to address the UWF Faithful.
Jeff Jarrett: Alright folks I know that y'all are itchin' to get back to yer wresslin' and whatnot, but I have to make a quick announcement here. Now y'all know that I'm a member of the UWF Board of Directors and I'm banned from wresslin' in the UWF, but I feel that things are dying down a little bit which is something that I ain't ok with. You see RAW is looking all fine n' dandy, but I feel that Smackdown needs a little pick me up, if you know what I'm saying. Smackdown needs that one that'll make it stand out as the most dominant brand in the UWF. Now I know for a fact that I can personally accomplish that task, but since I ain't allowed to wrestle anymore I can however offer my manager services for an individual. I have found my man who can fit the bill, one that is under appreciated and overlooked from one of the defunct brands. This man was destined to do great things, but the General Manger of that brand looked down at him and never used this bad boy to his potential. That is why slapnuts, I have decided to take him on and bring him to Smackdown where he can make his presence known!
The fans are giving a mixed reaction, mostly cheers as Jeff Jarrett continues on.
Jeff Jarrett: What Smackdown needs is a hero. Some kind of critter that can rise from the ranks and give out the damnest first impression that y'all will ever see! What Smackdown needs is someone that y'all can depend on to get the job done. All of this garbage that CM Punk, Cody Rhodes, Matt Morgan and Paul Heyman do is sickening. What is even more sickening however is that there ain't nobody that can stop 'em. I mean come on what does Smackdown have, a Golden Movie critic? Pfft please I can make my boots shine brighter then Goldust's face paint ever can. Who else.. oh yeah AJ Styles. The man that once took no names and won the World Heavyweight Champion, but he slumped down and took any old scraps that Austin gave him. I bet your real proud of that Hardcore Champion, aren't ya ? Good luck on your match by the way there sport.
Jarrett chuckles to himself before going on.
Jeff Jarrett: Settle down there fellas, I don't wanna start shit by bashin' your champions. I know they earned their belts and hats off to them, but these kinds of champions won't bring the ratings up, and they sure as hell won't be bringing Smackdown to the top. No what my client is planning to do is to annilihate those who want to shit all over Smackdown with their bullcrap. My client didn't like how he was treated the last time he was in the UWF and I don't think he would appreciate it if he was benched again. No sir when my client returns to the UWF next week on Smackdown, I know for a fact that he's going to make an impact! As a matter of fact I'm making it official: I'm making an open challenge next week on Smackdown, I'm sure that my client can use a warm-up match. Just don't start bitchin' if he leaves you black and blue, 'cuz he ain't a patient man, I can tell you that much! I'll see y'all next week on Smackdown, and y'all better come prepared for the surprise that I have in store for y'all!
Jeff Jarrett is smiling to the camera as the feed cuts off, the show then going somewhere else.
We come back to Slammy host David Arquette already standing at the podium, ready to introduce the next presenter.
David Arquette: Woooooo! Are we having fun tonight.....or are we having fun tonight?!
The crowd boos Arquette loudly. This doesn't seem to phase the former WCW Champion much.
David Arquette: This next presenters are people who haven't been seen around these parts, one of them since Anarchy was around. He is the "Master of the Cobra" and some would even refer to him as the "Milan Miracle" and with him he is the "Moscow Mauler". Ladies and gentlemen, Santino Marella and Vladmir Kozlov!!
The theme song of the Italian superstar begins to play and those boos that were once present for Arquette turn to cheers for Santino and Kozlov. They emerge, dressed to kill. Kozlov has the envelope in his hands and, as he's figiting due to nerves, he accidentally rips it.
Santino Marella: Uhh.....Oops! My apologies for the rippage. No matter because it is I, Santino Marella, finally-a back here in the UWF! Now, you may remember the last times you saw me, I was partnered with that scary meanie Ro-Mon Reigns! But, tonight isn't about Santino. No, tonight is about the Slammys, the first of all de times! The award I'm here to present is the "L-O-L" Award. Now, I'm not too hip on your savvy lingo but I do happen to know that L-O-L stands for Little Ole Larry and, I'm-a sorry but who is this Larry person?
Kozlov whispers something into Santino's ear. Santino brightens up and continues speaking.
Santino Marella: Oh.....I get it. No, no, L-O-L stands for Laugh Out Loud and that's exactly what we did when we saw these moments unfold. Vladmir, do you have anything to add?
Vladmir Kozlov: I love You-Double-Eff!
Santino Marella: Really? Is that it? Go! Just go!
Kozlov looks disheartened and walks to the back. The cheers then turn to boos.
Santino Marella: Okie dokies! The nominees for the LOL Award are.....
-The Modern Day Double Dragons using the "Kamehameha" and "Spirit Bomb" (UWF Anarchy)
-Triple H "buries" Austin Aries (UWF SmackDown)
-THE Brian Kendrick and Paul London meet Paul Giamatti (UWF SummerSlam 2013)
-Chris Masters and Dolph Ziggler's "Workout Tape" (UWF Anarchy)
-LAX and "Douglass Fir" (UWF SmackDown)
Santino then opens the envelope a little more and reads the winner.
Santino Marella: And your winner of the Slammy Award........Triple H "buries" Austin Aries from UWF Smack-a-Down!
TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!!
"The Game" by Motorhead begins playing as the crowd comes unglued. After the first few bars of music, the UWF COO emerges from the back but he isn't alone. He is carrying his trusty sledgehammer with him. Santino spots this and is instantly terrified.
Triple H just smiles and tries to calm down and reassure Santino. As Marella lets his guard down, however, Triple H blast Santino in the skull with the sledgehammer. Santino collapses to the floor as the crowd pops. Triple H picks up his Slammy award and speaks into the mic.
Triple H: Now, I don't know about you, but that damn sure made me "LOL", So did your earlier words, Tyson....
"The Game" then walks off stage as his music plays and the crowd continues to go crazy. Officials are checking on Santino who is just coming to.
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Take note future parents...
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Vs.
DING!
DING!
DING!
The referee signals for the bell and this one is underway. Booker takes the time to take off his coat and hands it to Sharmell on the outside. Shark Boy then moves in closer to Booker. As he turns around, Shark Boy begins unloading right hands onto the supposed "King:"
JR: Shark Boy's lookin' to open up a fresh can of Whoop Bass here on King Booker!
The King: That's not a king, JR. That's just a delusional Booker T in a crown!
Shark Boy has Booker backed up into the corner and this allows Shark Boy an opening. Shark Boy climbs to the second turnbuckle and goes for a tornado DDT. Booker counters and just shoves Shark Boy stomach first to the mat. As Shark Boy gets up, Booker levels him with a big side kick. Booker then drops to one knee and does a Spin-A-Rooni!
JR: It's a......King-A-Rooni?
The King: JR, we're friends but, seriously, I will Andy Kaufman you right now!
As Booker stands up from the Spin-A-Rooni, Shark Boy is already up and he flips Booker off before leveling him with a Chummer!
JR: CHUMMER! CHUMMER! SHARK BOY! SHARK BOY!
The King: Calm down, JR. He's not Stone Cold. He just acts like him!
Shark Boy then covers Booker.
1..
2..
3!!
YOUR WINNER AND NEEEEEEEWWWWWW UWF UNITED STATES CHAMPION, SHARK BOY!!!
The King: Yes! Long Live The C.U.N.T. JR! Booker T was nothing but Shark bait!
JR: The leader of the Council of Underwater and Nomadic Talent has just usurped royalty here tonight and became the new US Champion!
Booker is just coming to as Shark Boy is celebrating his win with his partners Paul Burchill and Grado. Shark Boy holds the US Title in Booker's face, as if mocking him. Booker stands up and yells at the C.U.N.T. to "KISS MY ROYAL FEET!" Paul Burchill then pulls out his sword and holds it to Booker's throat.
JR: Oh no, King!
The King: Captain Burchill doesn't take too kindly to scalliwags!
Booker's eyes grow wide but Burchill puts the sword back in it's sheath and laughs with Booker. Booker lets out a reluctant laugh as Burchill slaps his shoulder. Then, Burchill kicks Booker in the gut and hits him with the Walk The Plank!
JR: I've never seen royalty Walk The Plank before!
The King: Thanks for coming Booker T! I love it, JR!
Burchill and Grado lift Shark Boy's arm in the air in victory as the crowd goes crazy. Shark Boy then scales the top rope and throws the US Title into the air, Austin-style as we fade into the next segment.
Damien Sandow:
Allow me to beg your indulgence for one moment, My name is Damien Sandow and I am here to help all of you. Over the course of my career I have bested all those false idols you have placed upon a pedestal, I have proven my word to be the only true way to live, and have shown that without my guiding light anyone who forsakes me is simply blindly attempting to tread water in the sea of inequity. However, in the process of doing all this it has been made apparent that you people do not recognize me as your salvation. While it is apparent that you are a people of mediocrity, laziness, and complacency in your droll and dreary lives, I have vowed to never blame you for this said ignorance no matter how great or self-imposed it may be. For you simply do not know any better, but with that in mind Tonight has in and of itself showed me that simply trusting you all to know enough to grab on to the lifeline of taste and decency I have thrown to you is not enough.
Sandow looks disgusted for a moment before continuing.
Let us remember why we are here this evening, this week’s serial has been dubbed “The Slammy Awards” And while the name itself brings to question the legitimacy of this show it is also a night of celebration of the past year. A Celebration of incompetence with a cavalcade of despondence, look no further than the so called Nominees. I, Damien Sandow, have no Single nomination amongst the awards and the small mentions of my accomplishments are for a team I have since left behind me for their inability to follow my word. But if that does not tell you enough, let us look at the “Awards”. L, O, L moment of the year? Shocking and quote unquote “Oh My God” Moment of the year? The individuals who came up with these categories should be celebrated for their efforts as they have found the least award worthy awards in history. But if you thought it all ended there, you would be as you usually are, Wrong, for last and certainly in the running in a three way tie with categories and nominees as least, is the card this evening.
Sandow shakes his head almost in disappointment.
The Team of: lewd behavior, narcissistic indulgences, and bad examples against a team of: immoral and atrocious acts in and out of the ring. A Tag Team bout with four unfit and unworthy competitors, two of which I have bested and two of which I haven’t only because I have thankfully yet to have to soil my extremities of them in the ring, and yet all these men hold cases for Championship opportunities simply for grabbing a briefcase hanging above while I have yet to receive any of my Four Championship Rematches promised me in my contract. And To round out the card we have the three most abhorrent Championship bouts in UWF History, First A delusional and degenerate self-proclaimed king defending his championship against…Shark Boy…I man who has yet to accomplish anything aside from forming a team that challenges the audience to figure out whether it is their name or the members within it that is worst, and yet has received a championship opportunity. Second, an addled and overhyped relic who is the blueprint for false idols in our profession against his in many ways false idol status successor who has just now returned and has accomplished nothing and yet has received a championship opportunity. And Finally… We have the “hardcore” Champion, a title that should be killed and buried for its horrendous status, being given a UWF Championship opportunity against an unworthy and overconfident in his ability charlatan.
Damien raises a hand, speaking louder as if angry at the next point he's about to bring up.
And yet amidst this card you will not find my name anywhere, in fact I was not even booked in a bout for the ever fluctuating velocity. It appears people are overlooking my person once again, and on a night so abhorrent it has opened my eyes towards what I must do…For if you shall not accept my help willingly, you shall be saved or eradicated forcefully. This era of B.S, Before Sandow, will come to an end soon enough and whether you willingly accept it or not, You shall all be made in my image, enlightened, and After Sandow you will all thank me. Mark my words, from here on out I shall be making sure my word is no longer ignored...and now that I know how to accomplish my new era, albeit forcefully…the moment is now nearer than ever before for me to state…You’re Welcome.
The lights in the arena go dark as the ominous theme of Sting starts to play. The lights then turn to a hazy blue and smoke starts to rise from the entrance and the ramp.
The lights then turn on as an army of Stings start walking down the ramp.
And then amongst all of them one comes down from the rafters with bad in hand as he unhooks himself.
The fans are cheering like crazy enjoying the theatrics and showing that is going on here as Sting makes his way down the ramp and enters the ring as the army of Stings surround the ring. Sting has an emotionless look on his face as he gazes off into the crowd.
But before anything is said… smoke comes down from the rafter engulfing Sting.
And a voice is heard… An all to familiar voice.
I’M BAAAAAAAACK!
The smoke clears as the one and only Rated R Superstar Edge stands in the ring with mic in hand. A mixed reaction is being given from the crowd.
Rated R Superstar Edge:
You know its funny how when I came in I was looked upon as such a great acquisition. I was looked upon as the man, the myth, the legend, the icon, human highlight reel, the main event, and your future champion. I was loved. And then I saw that doing what you all wanted me to do got me nowhere so I decided to pave my own path and I started getting title opportunities and became champion. European Champion, tag team champion, Money in the Bank Winner, and then eventually world champion. I accomplished all of that on my own without the support of anybody but Trish. And then after Starrcade I disappeared and low and behold… the man that held Smackdown together. The man that brought Smackdown from the depths of Hell to a premier show was gone and nobody said a word. Nobody batted an eye. It’s as if… you do everything and you bring things to light, you create buzz, you bring meaning back, you bring prestige back, you do all of that and once you are gone nobody gives a shit.
So shoot I was thinking why bother coming back? Why bother doing anything if nobody even cares right? I’ve already proven that I’m the best here in UWF. I’ve already done everything there is to do here. What more is there for me to do. Everyone here is happy being mediocre at best. Everyone here is satisfied with just being a champion. But then I realized why they were glad I was gone. Because I elevated the game because while all of them are satisfied with just being champion I showed that wasn’t enough. I showed that it isn’t enough to just be a champion but instead I showed that there is a drive to be the absolute best in the business. I showed that you can strive to be a champion and still be nothing in this business. I showed that you have to have that drive, that you have to have that determination, that will to want to be the absolute very best in the industry to truly be anybody and they would rather ignore that fact but it can’t be denied any longer. I AM THE BEST!
So what did I do? The only thing that could be done… surprise surprise. I made sure to not say a word to anybody about my return, about where, when, or even how it would happen. Matter of fact I made sure that not even Trish would say much about me. Just keep me out of everything so that when I do return… it would be that much bigger and what bigger way to return than to take a gimmick that someone made famous… and make it look better than it ever did. Play it better than the original ever did. That’s right… I outdid Steve Borden as Sting. I generated a buzz and generated a cheer bigger than he ever could have imagined. And just the look on his face when he saw Sting looking at him face to face and eliminating him… shocking right? Looks like I’ll be back next year for most shocking moment.
Edge walks around a little bit collecting his thoughts before continuing.
Rated R Superstar Edge:
But let this be a constant to each of you. Edge is indeed back and he intends on doing what he has always done and that is excelling and each and every single thing that he ever puts his hands on. Everything I touch turns to gold. Everything that I set out to do I accomplish. I set out to revolutionize the industry and I did that. I set out to shock the world and I did that. I set out to change the landscape of this industry and I accomplished that. And now that I’m here once again I am setting out to make the biggest impact the UWF has ever seen. I have made sure that my name and my face will never be forgotten for years to come. I’ve made sure that my mark in the industry will be the mark that all will try to strive to reach but will always come up short because there can only be ONE Edge. There can only be one greatest and you are looking at him. You are in the presence of greatness personified.
The Road to WrestleMania always begins at Royal Rumble and although Deano won… everyone else is talking about my entrance, and how I eliminated Steven. So just know… no matter what any of you do whatever I do will always outshine what you do. Whatever I do will always be talked about over whatever you accomplish. My time has once again arrived to shine. The god of Wrestling IS BACK! And yes… as always… you can hate me now.
Edge drops the mic and extends his arms as there are more boos coming down on him this time than earlier.
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UWF Saturday Night Smackdown! Featuring some of the best Superstars and matches in the world! Can RAW top it? Tune in to Smackdown so you can never find out!
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We come back from commercial as John Bradshaw Layfield is standing in front of the Slammy podium already.
John Bradshaw Layfield:
Thank you, Thank you, Oh how good is it to be with you all once more…My people…Well not “my people” I mean let’s face it folks I’ve left this place and decided to hang my hat in the Greatest City in the World New York. But still all of you, no matter how beneath me, are still my people. Just cause I aint gonna shake your hands or talk with any of you, doesn’t mean I don’t love all of you. And sure after I leave tonight you are going to get back in yo pick-up truck and drive home to your seedy homes and continue on your dreary lives while I Ha-Ha am going back to my limousine, driving to the airport, and headed back to New York, Champagne in my hand at all times, but for now I am simply ecstatic to be with you all once again. And believe it or not, it is my honor to provide you all with this moment, the moment to bear witness to JBL once again and make your lives mean something for just a split second in history.
The crowd boos as JBL raises his hands up in the air, the crowd booing his efforts as he smiles out as if those jeers are praise and cheers.
Now Let’s get on track because I’m here to present a very important award, an award to the future of our business. And as the first ETW Champion in history, the Greatest ETW Global Champion in history, and the Final UCW Champion, no one is more qualified to give out this here Slammy than yours truly. So Without further Ado, The nominees for Breakout Star of the Year are:
Five fine superstars, all deserving of it, but only one can win it. So Let’s see who gets the prestige of not only being known as the Breakout Star of the Year, but the…Honor of being handed it by the one and Only WRESLING-A…GOD!...John Bradshaw Layfield, But before I open this envelope try your hardest to hold back your urges to chant those three letters they love all across the world…tonight isn’t about J…B…L…It’s about…
JBL finally shuts up long enough to open the envelope and read the name.
Tyson Kidd!
Welcome to the Masquerade by Thousand Foot Krutch blasts through the speakers and Tyson Kidd steps out of the curtain as he's met with a big negative response from the audience. Kidd has a cocky grin on his face as everyone heard about his plans earlier on for the future of this company. He still believes the ball's in his court. Kidd walks up to the podium and raises the Break Out Star of the Year Slammy Award over his head and leans forward to the microphone.
Tyson Kidd
"A lot of people call me a lot of different things, I've been called a prodigy of this business, tonight I get awarded what I look at as an insult, Break Out Star of the year. Meaning nobody was expecting me to achieve what I have here in the UWF. Lately people have been calling me, Tyson Kidd, the future of this business, and I think that's bullshit! I'm the best in-ring performer this company has, today!"
Kidd throws his Slammy award off the stage in front of him, the crowd is somewhat shocked at his actions and the audience begins to boo him.
Tyson Kidd
"That award doesn't mean anything, if anything it's a slap in the face. For the last year I've not only been the fastest rising star, but I've been the best. Better than anyone else. I've gotten to the point where men know that they can't beat me, so these cowards have to do things like use their best friend, and their best friend's wife to try to screw me because deep down they know that they don't stand a chance against the best. But of course all of you idiots are too blind to realize what's happening right in front of you. Every one of you paint me as the bad guy here but ask yourselves this one question. Was I the one that Superkicked a defenseless woman at the Royal Rumble? Was I the one that after the damage was done, picked that same woman up and delivered a Pedigree to her? Or was I the man that's worked his ass off just to get to the main event, beating every single man that they put in front of him? Grinding it out, knowing that the light at the end of the tunnel was getting closer, just to be screwed out of that by the men you look up to."
The crowd breaks out in a "HBK" chant briefly before Kidd shakes his head in disgust before speaking again.
Tyson Kidd
"My wife can't be here tonight and doctors have said that she won't be back on Raw for at least a month, all thanks to your World Heavyweight Champion and his little running buddy. Now look I know I can't make everything right here, the damage is done, but Shawn, Hunter, you crossed a line when you put your hands on my wife, and I'm going to make you pay, I can promise you that. I don't want to do it in the court room Hunter, and I doubt you do either. I laid down the challenge earlier tonight, you two, against me and a man of my choice against you two scum bags at Unforgiven. I'm praying that you two finally do something right for a change, and finally step up. I don't want your little Break Out Star of the year awards, hell, this isn't even about that World Title. You laid your hands on the only woman I've ever loved, this is personal. I will stop at nothing to give you both what you deserve. The screwjobs are over, the games are over, I'm sick of this."
Kidd looks directly in the camera as the crowd showers Kidd with boos. The latest Slammy award winner looks into the camera and speaks very slowly and clearly for everyone to hear.
Tyson Kidd
"Shawn...Hunter...I've got two words for both of you...Game...Over."
Kidd walks off the stage as the crowd starts a "DX" chant and cameras go elsewhere.
Cameras head backstage to catch up with the man that was once again, unsuccessful at becoming the UWF World Heavyweight Champion, Tyson Kidd. The crowd boos as soon as Kidd's face appears on the titantron. He doesn't look to be in a good mood and he pushes Renee Young out of the camera shot so only his face can be seen.
Tyson Kidd
"What all of you saw at the Royal Rumble was a travesty. This themes to be a reoccurring theme, each month, they find out how to screw Tyson Kidd. Oh and you'll all have to excuse me, there's a reason my wife Natalya isn't here with me tonight, because those guys that all of you look up to, your World Champion and that degenerate of a COO, decided to Superkick and then Pedigree and innocent woman, right after her almost being molested outside of the ring by that old sack of shit Ric Flair. What you witnessed at the Royal Rumble was an embarrassment, it was embarrassing not only for myself, but every other guy in the back that's worked his ass of to get here. Sunday just shined a light on what this company is really up to. No matter how good you are, no matter how hard you've worked, none of that matters if you don't kiss some ass along the way. Love me or hate me I've worked my tail off to get to where I am, a lot of people call me cocky but all of those people are just jealous."
Kidd takes a short pause to wipe his mouth off before staring right into the camera once again as he's now shouting his words.
Tyson Kidd
"We all know that Shawn can't beat me on his best day, time after time he has to take the low road. Open your eyes people, is that really the man you want representing this company? Well soon enough we won't have to deal with Shawn as the Champion of this company... Now even though I got screwed last night, even though I was once again cheated out of what I deserve, surprise, Triple H has not granted me for the World Championship. But here's the thing, Triple H's days are numbered. Remember that contract that Triple H signed on Raw a few weeks ago? That stated that if he fails to call my match right down the middle, or if he puts his hands on me, my lawyers will sue him for everything he's worth. Guess what Hunter, not only did you not call it down the middle like you promised you would, but you also put your hands on me and got a little bit too physical with my wife. So Shawn, enjoy your last fews moments you have with that Championship, because as we speak, my lawyers are getting all their legal documents prepared and are ready to sue the pants off of Triple H. I can promise you that you both are going to lose everything."
The crowd boo's at the Canadian. The boo's are mixed with some 'You Suck' chants as well.
Tyson Kidd
"Now I love the UWF, so I would never let it die, I've put more blood, sweat, and tears into that mat than anyone else. I've been here every single night for almost a year now, believe it or not, I love this company. So I'm not going to let it sink along with Triple H. Instead, I had a better idea, how does this sound? Tyson Kidd...the COO of the UWF?"
A large smile begins to grow on the face of Tyson Kidd as the crowd's boo's are heard easily from inside the arena. He doesn't look to be finished speaking yet though.
Tyson Kidd
"In a few weeks, I have the ability to run this company, and I can do whatever I want. Now I know Shawn doesn't have the balls to put his World Championship up again so I can tell that's not going to happen. So here's what I propose, next time we're on pay-per view, right before Wrestlemania. I'll drop all the charges for one match. Myself Tyson Kidd, and a partner of my choosing, versus Triple H & Shawn Michaels, Degeneration-X, because Hunter, as much as I would love taking your job and therefor making you homeless, I'm not an evil person, you have a wife and children, you need your career. So the only thing I want is the chance to kick your ass and that pretty boy friend of yours. What do you have to lose? The gold won't be on the line Shawn, and hell, you've beat me all these times, are you afraid of me? But of course, if that offer doesn't sound too appealing, then I could always see you in court?"
Kidd has a huge grin on his face as he walks off of camera and the backstage cameras go elsewhere.
We come back to 2014 Slammy Award host David Arquette standing at the podium. As he speaks, the crowd continues booing him.
David Arquette: Ladies and Gents, what a show we've witnessed thus far! But, if you think we're done, uh uh! Nope! There's still tons more scheduled that could potentially.....shock us. In fact, this next category is Shocking Moment of the Year and who better to present this award than the man who can shock like none other. Please, give a warm welcome to......The Shockmaster!
The theme music of The Shockmaster begins to play over the PA system and The Shockmaster walks out from the back to a big applause. On his way to the podium, Shockmaster trips over his shoelaces and falls to the mat, knocking his helmt off. Shockmaster, however, recovers and puts his helmet back on quickly and stands up right in front of the podium.
The Shockmaster: Yes, it is I, The Shockmaster and I am here......to shock you! I have had my fair shar of shocking moments......but I have never shocked quite like the nominees for this award.........Ok I'm going to be honest here. I'm seriously offended at this. I mean, I sit around for years, just waiting for a call from the UWF and when I finally get it, This is what it's for? Just go ahead and show the nominees. I'm gonna go kill myself after this.
- MVP defeats Edge for the UWF Championship (UWF SmackDown)
- Edge cashes in Money in the Bank and becomes UWF Champion (UWF SummerSlam 2013)
- Stephanie McMahon fires Daniel Bryan (UWF RAW)
- Dusty Rhodes throws in the towel for Cody (UWF Bound for Glory 2013)
- Formation of the Establishment (UWF Anarchy)
The Shockmaster: ......Yep, I'm gonna take about a handful of........Oh! And....and your winner is....
Shockmaster opens up the envelope and announces the winner.
The Shockmaster: Edge cashes in Money in the Bank!
YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME?!
Edge walks up to the podium to accept his award.
Rated R Superstar Edge:
I’d ask if any of you are surprised but then I already know… you shouldn’t be. I’m The Ultimate Opportunist for a reason. I mean really do all of you think that I just give myself these titles cause they are cute sounding? Because they look good on tshirts or something? I use them because they are true. Just like at the Royal Rumble I shocked the world at SummerSlam. Nobody knew when I would cash in my Money in the Bank contract. Nobody did except me. But what made it even better… the assumption was that I’d cash it in on the world heavyweight champion. Oh no no no that isn’t me. I have to make mine stand out from anything that has ever been done in history. So I instead cashed in on Batista and took the UWF Championship.
I mean it was perfect. It was something that even today can be talked about. And who knows maybe at the next Slammys my entrance as Sting in the Rumble will be nominated and I may be nice enough to grace you all with my presence for another acceptance speech. But for now just enjoy the moment and take plenty of pictures of the man that is the winner of the most shocking moment in UWF. Because I’m sure that moment and the Rumble is only the beginning as there will be other things to be done by The Ultimate Opportunist to land me once again at the top as most shocking.
Edge holds up his Slammy once more before walking off stage.
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http://static3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090607170819/prowrestling/images/e/e3/WWE_Velocity.jpg
Check out UWF Velocity that's happening this Friday! Featuring the Superstars from both RAW and Smackdown; where anything can happen.
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ATTENTION PLEASE! ATTENTION PLEASE!
THIS SH*T HERE FEELS LIKE THE WHOLE WORLD COLLAPSED
Justin Roberts: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the UWF Transatlantic Championship... first from West Newbery, Massachucets... Johhhnnnnnn Ceeeeeenaaaaaaa
Cena looks excited to be out there as the fans give a mix reaction to the former European Champion. Cena goes as he looks excited and he does his trademark run down the ramp, and slides into the ring as the fans keep roaring the mix reaction. Cena goes as he bounces around a bit in the ring as he awaits for the champion
Fans roar in the arena as the song of the almighty hulkster is played. Hogan comes out with the transatlantic championship in his hand
Justin Roberts: From Hollywood California... he is the current defending UWF Transatlantic Champion...... The almighty Huuuuuulllllkkkkkkk Hooooooooooooooogaaaaaaaann
Hogan is doing his usual posing as he walks down the ramp as the fans are eating up every minute of it. Hogan goes and he enters the ring as he looks on at Cena, Hogan enters the ring and hands his belt to the referee the fans cheer like crazy as Hogan goes and he looks on at Cena
Ding...
Ding...
Ding...
John Cena goes and he stares down with Hulk Hogan the fans cheer like crazy never seeing this match before with them standing on their feet. Hogan goes and he smiles as so does Cena, and they begin to slowly circle around each other before a big lock up, and the fans give a mix reaction as it appears Cena is winning the battle when all of a sudden Hogan goes and he gets up as he pushes Cena down the fans cheer like crazy as we see Hogan posing at the down Cena.
Jim Ross: Look at the crowd cheer for Hulk Hogan!
Jerry Lawler: He is so over right now JR
Cena gets up shaking off the power of Hogan and they begin to circle around each other as they lock up again this time Cena goes and he goes and he gets Hogan into a headlock, the fans are split in the reaction as Hogan goes and he throws Cena off of him, and Cena bounces off the ropes, and he hits a shoulder right onto Hogan, and Hogan gets up as Cena grabs Hogan and hits a head and arm slam onto Hogan locking in a head lock onto Hogan as they are down on the mat. Hogan though slams his hand of the mat hard building his base up as Cena is having trouble holding the move. Hogan is up now, and he lifts Cena hitting a back suplex onto him. Hogan goes as he goes for the cover onto Cena.
1..
No Cena kicks out at one as the moves was not enough to put Cena away. Cena is getting up as Hogan hits him with a stiff right into the face, and Cena bounces from it, and Hogan hits it again. Hogan goes and he hits it again, and again until Cena is backed up into the turnbuckle. Hogan goes and he begins to pose leading to the fans to cheer, as Hogan goes and he goes to the opposite end of Cena. Hogan goes charging at Cena but Cena moves out of the way, and Hogan bounces off the turnbuckle and Cena runs at him hitting a running bulldog on him. Cena goes and he flips over Hogan and goes for the cover.
1…
No Hogan kicks out at one
Jim Ross: These two are the best in the game, small moves won’t finish them off
Jerry Lawler: Yep JR you will need a mack truck to take these twomen down
Cena goes and he picks up Hogan, and he throws him right into the turnbuckle, the fans give a mix reaction as Cena starts to land combos on Hogan in the corner. Cena goes and he sees that Hogan is reeling, and then he grabs the head and hits a fisherman suplex onto Hogan. Cena goes as he goes and he heads to the top turnbuckle. Cena is measuring Hogan and Hogan is getting up and he is bending down when Cena goes and he hits the diving fameasser onto Hogan . Cena goes and he rolls Hogan over going for the cover.
1…
2….
No Hogan kicks out. Cena gets up and he looks like he is measuring the Hulkster up for the trademark FU. Hogan is getting up and Cena lifts him onto his shoulders, and has him up, but Hogan slides off of him and pushes Cena away. Cena quickly turns around and charges at Hogan but is met with a kick to the chest. Hogan goes, and puts Cena’s head right in between his crotch area, and with all his might hits Cena with a huge powerbomb. Hogan goes for the cover.
1…
2…
No Cena kicks out. Hogan goes on and he gets mad at the referee asking him: “What is that BS” the referee is telling Hogan only two, and Hogan is just mad at him not really listening to what he is saying what so ever. Hogan goes and he picks up Cena and he goes as he hits another stiff right onto him. Cena is laying on the ropes, and Hogan goes as he clothesline Cena out of the ring. The fans give a cheer as Hogan is posing in the ring, and Cena is recovering on the outside.
Jim Ross: Hogan really took the advantage here in this match so far.
Jerry Lawler: Cena better recover quick or he might fall over here.
Cena is getting up as the referee is making a ten count it is not a factor right now as Cena rolls in the ring and he sees Hogan standing there flaunting in all his glory. Cena gets up and Hogan charges at him. Cena though ducks under the clothesline by Hogan and goes running on his own, this causes Cena to bounce off the ropes, and hit a flying shoulder shove right onto the hulkster, Cena does it again as we see almost the same process of moves. Hogan then gets up to strike Cena, but Cena ducks turns around him and hits the spinout powerbomb. The fans give a mix reaction as Cena raises his hands up high in the sky. The fans go as they are just going crazy right now as Cena does the trademark you can’t see me. Cena goes and he bounces off the ropes hitting a five knuckle shuffle. Cena then gets up and he is in a big posture. Cena is measuring Hogan up and Hogan gets up all of a sudden Cena hits a quick FU onto Hogan as the fans are going banana’s Cena goes for the pin.
1…
2…
3.
No Hogan kicks out!
Jim Ross: Bah Gawd the Hulkster kicked out of the FU!
Cena is in disbelief as Hogan kicked out of the move that has finished many others. Cena goes and he gets up as he awaits for Hogan to get up this time, the fans are giving a mix reaction when Hogan gets up, and Cena has Hogan on his shoulders. Hogan though this time slides off, and he turns Cena around hitting Cena towards the referee knocking him down.
Jim Ross: Oh no the referee got knocked down.
Jerry Lawler: Look like Hogan did that on purpose JR.
Hogan goes and he charges at Cena, but Cena goes and he trips Hogan locking him in the STFU, the fans start to give a mix reaction like crazy as Hogan is in the STFU Hogan is tapping out, but the referee is not even there he is down.
Jim Ross: Damn the referee down, and Hogan is tapping.
Jerry Lawler: I am telling you JR I think Hogan bumped the referee on purpose earlier.
Cena gets up as he is trying to force the referee to get up, Hogan is down in pain, but we can see Hogan getting up, but scrunched down. Hogan goes and he starts to take off his belt from his tights. Cena is still trying to wake up the referee. All of a sudden Cena goes down as Hogan whips him with his own belt. The fans boo all of a sudden as Hogan starts to whip the down Cena with the belt hard. Hogan all of a sudden raises his belt up high and points where it says Hulkamania and says: “All about me”
Jim Ross: That dirty snake Hogan
Jerry Lawler: See I told you JR!
Cena all of a sudden does get hit again by the belt, and all of a sudden Hogan goes and grabs the leg of Cena, and Hogan goes as he puts the belt around the throat. Hogan locks in the STFU on Cena as Cena is being choked out by Hogan there as Hogan goes and he lays on top of Cena and has the move on there for a while until Cena is out. Cena is lying there as Hogan flips him over, and starts to whip his hulkamania belt around and the fans boo at Hogan for acting all cocky. Hogan goes and he throws his belt and he bounces off the ropes hitting the atomic leg drop right onto John Cena, Hogan goes as he tries to wake up the referee, and the referee is barely moving. Hogan goes and it seems like he is laying on Cena for a while, until the referee slowly makes the count.
1…
2…
3.
No Cena kicked out
Jim Ross: YES! Cena kicked out!
Fans cheer like crazy for Cena kicking out of the move, and Hogan can’t believe it. Hogan all of a sudden does a you can’t see me taunt as he gets in a position that John Cena normally does for the FU. The fans boo at Hogan being so cocky during this match as Hogan is just taunting at this point as Cena is getting up, and Hogan lifts Cena in the FU position the fans boo as Hogan looks to hit the FU onto John Cena, when all of a sudden Cena slides off of Hogan. Cena goes and he turns Hogan around hitting the FU onto him the fans cheer like crazy as Cena goes for the cover.
1…
2…
3…
Justin Roberts: Here is your winner and NEW TRANSATLANTIC CHAMPION JOHHHNNNN CEEEEENNNAAAA
Jim Ross: JOHN CENA HAS DONE IT!
Jerry Lawler: What a match JR, but still can’t believe Hogan here tonight.
Cena goes as he gets the belt handed to him as he raises it high in the sky, and the fans cheer like crazy for him, we see an image of Hogan sitting up, not believing what happened. Cena goes and he turns to Hogan, and he offers a handshake, Hogan is getting up and he looks on at Cena as the fans cheer and Cena is looking to share respect with Hogan, but as it looks like Hogan is going to shake hands with Cena, Hogan goes and he lowblows Cena right down there as the fans boo like crazy, and Hogan looks down at Cena as they boo like crazy
Jim Ross: Damn it the Hogan!
Jerry Lawler: Cena was just trying to show respect
Cena is down as Hogan goes and he picks up the transatlantic championship, and he points at it acting like it will be his soon enough, Hogan goes and he throws it on Cena as he goes and he walks out as the Slammys fade away.
We are directed back to the Slammy podium as host David Arquette is standing by.
David Arquette: Alright! It's time, It's time, It's the moment we've all been waiting for. It's time to see just who wins the coveted Slammy for "Superstar of the Year." To present this award, who better than the chairman of the board? Ladies and gentlemen.....Mr. Vince McMahon!
NO CHANCE!
"No Chance In Hell" begins to play and the UWF Chairman Vincent Kennedy McMahon struts out from the back to a great applause. He shakes Arquette's hand and takes his place at the podium.
The First-Ever UWF Slammy Awards 2014
February 11th 2014
Live from the American Airlines Center in Dallas, Texas!
The pyrotechnics display goes off, lighting up the entire arena. The crowd in the sold-out AAC is electric to say the least. The camera zooms around the arena and shows off the screaming maniacs that litter the crowd as well as their signs. Then, we are directed toward ringside where RAW play-by-play commentator "Good Ole' JR" Jim Ross and SmackDown color commentator Jerry "The King" Lawler are sitting by.
JR: Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the 2014 UWF Slammy Awards! I'm "Good Ole' JR" and joining me here for one night only is SmackDown color commentator and my dear friend Jerry "The King" Lawler!
The King: Hey hey, careful with that! We don't wanna break kayfabe! I know you're used to sitting next to that filthy drunk Roddy Piper but I've got a bit more class than that yahoo!
JR: At any rate, tonight is a first here in the Ultimate Wrestling Federation. On top of the Slammy Award ceremony themselves, we have a hell of a wrestling show planned.
The King: You've got that right! Tonight we've got all 4 briefcase winners from the first-ever Rags to Riches match at the Royal Rumble, not only finding out which briefcase they have but also stepping back into the ring as UWF Tag Team Champion Bubba Ray Dudley teams with UWF World Tag Team Champion Fandango to take on "The Samoan Bulldozer" Umaga and the "American Bad Ass" himself, The Undertaker!
JR: Right you are, King, but we've also got a United States Championship from your neck of the woods, SmackDown, as current champion King Booker defends against the leader of the Council of Underwater and Nomadic Talent Shark Boy!
The King: I love the C.U.N.T.!
JR: By how many times you've been divorced, trust me King, we know.
The King: What did I say about kayfabe, JR? Let's get back on track, there's also a title match from RAW taking place as Transatlantic Champion Hulk Hogan goes toe-to-toe with John Cena!
JR: That should be quite the spectacle but we can't forget about the great tag team contest we have scheduled tonight as both teams make their in-ring debuts as tag teams. The Miz and John Morrison take on the extreme duo of Rob Van Dam and Sabu!
The King: I can't wait to see how those two teams stack up against one another but can you believe our main event? It's time for some good old fashioned SmackDown action as new UWF Champion MVP defends against current Hardcore Champion AJ Styles!
JR: Indeed, King. That one should be a classic for sure but, before we move onto the show, we have the duty of updating all of you, the UWF fans, on the condition and well-being of our European Champion and the man, I feel, earned the respect of everyone watching the Royal Rumble, maybe besides Roddy Piper and I'm talking about, of course, Daniel Bryan.
The King: I have to agree with you, JR, and I don't say that phrase often. Daniel Bryan came in and made sure everyone knew his name when it was all said and done and came within a half-inch from becoming Royal Rumble winner.
JR: Unfortunately, it was not to be as the actual Royal Rumble winner Dean Ambrose decided to take the low-road and used a steel chair to secure himself a victory, knowing damn well he couldn't beat Daniel Bryan straight up.
The King: Now that's unfair, JR. Dean Ambrose is a 4-time World Heavyweight Champion. His actions may not have been justified but, you can't argue with results!
JR: I respectfully disagree, King, but we have a health update on Daniel Bryan. UWF trainers and doctors have determined that, as of this moment, Daniel Bryan will be out of action with a severe concussion. There's not a whole lot to report at this particular time but, for the sake of Bryan and the fans of the UWF, we can only hope and pray for a speedy recovery.
The fans all stand up and boo at the 2014 Royal Rumble Winner and only four time World Heavyweight Champion Dean Ambrose as he calmly walks out with his signature black jean jacket and looks out to the sea of people yelling at him. He has a blank look on his face before he starts to smile which makes the crowd even more angry. He walks down the ramp, bobbing his head to the music and climbs up the steel steps without a care in the world.
Ambrose quickly enters the ring and motions for a mic as the ringside crew act fast to give him one so they don't suffer the same fate as Daniel Bryan. Ambrose snatches the mic out of the crew's hand as he looks out to the crowd again with a blank look on his face.
Dean Ambrose: I don't get it.
The crowd is booing louder just because Ambrose has opened his mouth.
Dean Ambrose: You people sit there in your chairs and judge me like I care what you all think. When have I ever made it clear that I care about what you want? The day I set foot in this company, you all hated me. It wasn't until I started beating up the people you hated that you decided to cheer me. I've never been this goody two shoes John Cena type. I've never walked down the aisle slapping hands with people. I've never waved my finger up in the air and made you chant yes.
The crowd begins a YES chant to show their appreciation for Daniel Bryan.
Dean Ambrose: I haven't changed one bit since the beginning and now you want to hate me. Fine, go right ahead. I'll keep doing what I do best and that's destroying people. Just ask Daniel Bryan.
Ambrose gets a sinister smile on his face that has the fans nearly up in arms.
Dean Ambrose: I just don't get how anyone can be mad at me. I clearly warned each and every person in that rumble that I would do whatever it takes to win. I was there to crush people's dreams if they got in my way and it just so happens Daniel Bryan's heart forgot to pay attention to his brain. When Dean Ambrose is the only thing standing across from you in this ring, your only option is to run. But Daniel was too blindsided by his passion to headline Wrestlemania and so now he remains a cautionary tale.
The fans boo Ambrose as he pauses and glances at the crowd.
Dean Ambrose: But enough about Bryan, the real question on everyone's mind is why. Why did Dean Ambrose do what he did. Why has Dean Ambrose turned his back on the world? Well there's a really simple answer for all of that....I've already told you why. Ever since I lost my last World Heavyweight Championship, I've just been the man who takes out the trash. I fought for RAW for months before idiots like the Rock and Stone Cold fought over who would captain a team in a match that never took place. Over four months of my life wasted with no payoff. So then I told Randy to give me the best competition he had to offer and what does he give me? Chris Jericho. A man whose had I don't even know how many returns and failed very single time. That was the challenge Randy? But then The Shield got involved. Something else to take my mind off of getting back to where I belonged but I said no. I wasn't going to stoop to their level and let them sidetrack me like everyone has in the past. No I just settled for embarrassing them and then moving on. I have better things to do than be involved with a group who is useless without me.
Ambrose grins as the crowd doesn't react too badly since they don't like The Shield either.
You see as the Royal Rumble winner, I can challenge for any world title I want. I can become a five time World Heavyweight Champion. I can take back what belongs to me and low and behold, the current "champion" is the same man who took advantage and stole that title from me after Cody Rhodes interfered. Oh how satisfying it would be to finally exact my revenge against the man who has been dodging me ever since. That is if he can hold onto it until WrestleMania. But the only revenge that could be sweeter is obtaining the title this company tried so hard to keep away from me, the UWF Championship.
Ambrose smiles fondly as he slowly walks back and forth, reflecting on the early days of UWF.
For those of you new to watching UWF, way back when I was Hardcore Champion, I was beating the number one contenders to the UWF Championship and main eventing RAW and yet the higher ups didn't want me anywhere near their precious UWF world title scene. So instead they made Smackdown and I was the first person chosen to be drafted. I quickly showed how close I was to breaking out when I won the World Heavyweight Championship and became Smackdown's first world champion. And now I can finally get the chance to take what they've tried to keep away from me. Or I can do something no one thinks and go for the Global Championship. A title that hasn't yet been tarnished by all the cowardly tactics. I can make that the greatest title in all of UWF.
The fans boo loudly as Ambrose looks at the giant WrestleMania sign.
The options are endless. Everyone dreams of being in the main event of WrestleMania, but only one man actually has the fortitude to make it happen. There's nothing more dangerous than a man who has one thing set on his mind with nothing to lose. I'll stop at nothing to ensure I become champion again. Last year at WrestleMania, I turned a regular match into a hardcore match because I felt like it and the officials did nothing because they couldn't do anything. What were they going to do, stop me? Nobody stops Dean Ambrose. This ring is my own personal torture chamber, and if any of you think about stepping across this ring from me... let's just say you'd prefer what I did to Daniel Bryan instead.
The crowd boos heavily as Ambrose laughs and drops the mic before exiting the ring. Ambrose walks up the ramp backwards, never taking his eyes off the WrestleMania sign before disappearing behind the curtain.
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UWF Tuesday Night RAW! Featuring your favourites such as Dean Ambrose, Daniel Bryan, and your World Heavyweight Champion Shawn Michaels!
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Cameras head backstage to catch up with the man that was once again, unsuccessful at becoming the UWF World Heavyweight Champion, Tyson Kidd. The crowd boos as soon as Kidd's face appears on the titantron. He doesn't look to be in a good mood and he pushes Renee Young out of the camera shot so only his face can be seen.
Tyson Kidd
"What all of you saw at the Royal Rumble was a travesty. This themes to be a reoccurring theme, each month, they find out how to screw Tyson Kidd. Oh and you'll all have to excuse me, there's a reason my wife Natalya isn't here with me tonight, because those guys that all of you look up to, your World Champion and that degenerate of a COO, decided to Superkick and then Pedigree and innocent woman, right after her almost being molested outside of the ring by that old sack of shit Ric Flair. What you witnessed at the Royal Rumble was an embarrassment, it was embarrassing not only for myself, but every other guy in the back that's worked his ass of to get here. Sunday just shined a light on what this company is really up to. No matter how good you are, no matter how hard you've worked, none of that matters if you don't kiss some ass along the way. Love me or hate me I've worked my tail off to get to where I am, a lot of people call me cocky but all of those people are just jealous."
Kidd takes a short pause to wipe his mouth off before staring right into the camera once again as he's now shouting his words.
Tyson Kidd
"We all know that Shawn can't beat me on his best day, time after time he has to take the low road. Open your eyes people, is that really the man you want representing this company? Well soon enough we won't have to deal with Shawn as the Champion of this company... Now even though I got screwed last night, even though I was once again cheated out of what I deserve, surprise, Triple H has not granted me for the World Championship. But here's the thing, Triple H's days are numbered. Remember that contract that Triple H signed on Raw a few weeks ago? That stated that if he fails to call my match right down the middle, or if he puts his hands on me, my lawyers will sue him for everything he's worth. Guess what Hunter, not only did you not call it down the middle like you promised you would, but you also put your hands on me and got a little bit too physical with my wife. So Shawn, enjoy your last fews moments you have with that Championship, because as we speak, my lawyers are getting all their legal documents prepared and are ready to sue the pants off of Triple H. I can promise you that you both are going to lose everything."
The crowd boo's at the Canadian. The boo's are mixed with some 'You Suck' chants as well.
Tyson Kidd
"Now I love the UWF, so I would never let it die, I've put more blood, sweat, and tears into that mat than anyone else. I've been here every single night for almost a year now, believe it or not, I love this company. So I'm not going to let it sink along with Triple H. Instead, I had a better idea, how does this sound? Tyson Kidd...the COO of the UWF?"
A large smile begins to grow on the face of Tyson Kidd as the crowd's boo's are heard easily from inside the arena. He doesn't look to be finished speaking yet though.
Tyson Kidd
"In a few weeks, I have the ability to run this company, and I can do whatever I want. Now I know Shawn doesn't have the balls to put his World Championship up again so I can tell that's not going to happen. So here's what I propose, next time we're on pay-per view, right before Wrestlemania. I'll drop all the charges for one match. Myself Tyson Kidd, and a partner of my choosing, versus Triple H & Shawn Michaels, Degeneration-X, because Hunter, as much as I would love taking your job and therefor making you homeless, I'm not an evil person, you have a wife and children, you need your career. So the only thing I want is the chance to kick your ass and that pretty boy friend of yours. What do you have to lose? The gold won't be on the line Shawn, and hell, you've beat me all these times, are you afraid of me? But of course, if that offer doesn't sound too appealing, then I could always see you in court?"
Kidd has a huge grin on his face as he walks off of camera and the backstage cameras go elsewhere.
We are directed to the ring where legendary ring announcer Howard Finkel is standing by.
Howard Finkel: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome your host for the 2014 Ultimate Wrestling Federation Slammy Awards......
JR: WHAT?!
The King: They said a former World Champion and....technically he is!
The crowd immediately starts booing as loudly as they possibly can as "We're Not Gonna Take It" by Biff Naked comes on the PA system. After a few bars of music, the man himself emerges and is met with a barrage of boos.
He makes his way to the podium and struggles to find an opportunity to speak through the boos.
David Arquette: Alriiiiiight! Wooooo! Welcome, welcome to the first-ever UWF Slammy Awards! I'm so excited to be here hosting this prestigious event and, it warms my heart to hear such a great response from you, the UWF fans. It makes me long for my days in that ring. Oh, the memories! But, tonight isn't about me. Tonight is about celebrating the past year in the history of this fine organization. The first award up for grabs tonight is the Oh My God Moment of the Year. To present this award, please welcome UWF SmackDown paly-by-play commentator "The Voice of Extreme" Joey Styles!
The boos for Arquette quickly turn to cheers for Joey Styles. Joey walks out with a lovely lady on his arm, smiling wide. The head announcer for the blue brand walks up and reluctantly shakes Arquette's hand. Joey then takes his place at the podium and tries to speak over a loud "JOEY! JOEY! JOEY!" chant.
Joey Styles: Well, that was awkward! But, you know what isn't awkward, each and every Saturday night, sitting at ringside, calling some great SmackDown action but SmackDown isn't just the only show around here. In fact, RAW and every Pay-Per-View thus far have delivered on the great action you come to expect from the UWF. Sometimes, however, there can be that moment that can make you say.........OH MY GOD! Here are the nominees!
-Vampiro sets Kofi Kingston on fire (UWF RAW)
-Sheamus vs. Mr. Kennedy in a Taipei Death Match (UWF Bad Blood 2013)
-Umaga bites through the steel cable of the ropes and uses it as a weapon (UWF Anarchy)
-Reverend D'Von piledrives Jeff Hardy through a thumbtack-covered table (UWF Lockdown 2013)
-MVP and Christopher Daniels fall off the titantron (UWF SummerSlam 2013)
Joey Styles: And the winner is.....
Styles opens the envelope and reveals the winner.
Joey Styles: .........Reverend D'Von piledrives Jeff Hardy through a thumbtack-covered table!
Howard Finkel: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome your host for the 2014 Ultimate Wrestling Federation Slammy Awards......
JR: WHAT?!
The King: They said a former World Champion and....technically he is!
The crowd immediately starts booing as loudly as they possibly can as "We're Not Gonna Take It" by Biff Naked comes on the PA system. After a few bars of music, the man himself emerges and is met with a barrage of boos.
He makes his way to the podium and struggles to find an opportunity to speak through the boos.
David Arquette: Alriiiiiight! Wooooo! Welcome, welcome to the first-ever UWF Slammy Awards! I'm so excited to be here hosting this prestigious event and, it warms my heart to hear such a great response from you, the UWF fans. It makes me long for my days in that ring. Oh, the memories! But, tonight isn't about me. Tonight is about celebrating the past year in the history of this fine organization. The first award up for grabs tonight is the Oh My God Moment of the Year. To present this award, please welcome UWF SmackDown paly-by-play commentator "The Voice of Extreme" Joey Styles!
The boos for Arquette quickly turn to cheers for Joey Styles. Joey walks out with a lovely lady on his arm, smiling wide. The head announcer for the blue brand walks up and reluctantly shakes Arquette's hand. Joey then takes his place at the podium and tries to speak over a loud "JOEY! JOEY! JOEY!" chant.
Joey Styles: Well, that was awkward! But, you know what isn't awkward, each and every Saturday night, sitting at ringside, calling some great SmackDown action but SmackDown isn't just the only show around here. In fact, RAW and every Pay-Per-View thus far have delivered on the great action you come to expect from the UWF. Sometimes, however, there can be that moment that can make you say.........OH MY GOD! Here are the nominees!
-Vampiro sets Kofi Kingston on fire (UWF RAW)
-Sheamus vs. Mr. Kennedy in a Taipei Death Match (UWF Bad Blood 2013)
-Umaga bites through the steel cable of the ropes and uses it as a weapon (UWF Anarchy)
-Reverend D'Von piledrives Jeff Hardy through a thumbtack-covered table (UWF Lockdown 2013)
-MVP and Christopher Daniels fall off the titantron (UWF SummerSlam 2013)
Joey Styles: And the winner is.....
Styles opens the envelope and reveals the winner.
Joey Styles: .........Reverend D'Von piledrives Jeff Hardy through a thumbtack-covered table!
Reverend D'Von Dudley: Well well well my brothers and sisters; the good Lord has not decieved his humble servent at all. I may have lost the Royal Rumble like I have anticipated, but I have been awarded from my hours of service with this award! I am shocked that I am the victor of the 'Surprise Moment of the Year' award, but at the same time I'm not too surprised that I won it. I mean I know that Mr. Jeff Hardy hasn't been the same since that bout. He's jumped around different brands, he's undergone so many character changes, and he has failed again and again at achieving different title belts. My brother, I know that your path to the light is a bumpy one, but I have full faith that you will make it there and you will be reborn under the guidance of God!
A mixed reaction, mostly boos can be heard from the crowd as D'Von continues on.
Reverend D'Von Dudley: It is ok my brothers and sisters, I am not here to shove the word of the Lord down your throats like I used to, but rather instead I'm going to point out the flaws in your people's logic. You see...
Bubba Ray Dudley appears and silences Reverend D'Von, telling him to be quiet as he speaks in the microphone instead.
Bubba Ray Dudley: Let's get one thing straight D'Von. There's no flaw in yer logic, but callin' des people stoopid is just plain dumb! I know that yer feelin' down from losin' the Rumble match, or that I have a briefcase and you don't, or that you've earned a meaningless trophies for all yer efforts, or that... well doesn't matta'. What mattas' is dat we're still the only UWF Tag Team Champions, and dat we're gonna stick together to become one of dat best tag teams that eva' exsisted in da UWF! We are da Goddamn Dudley Boyz and WE ARE THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! Not those rich asswipes, and certainly nobody else, ya hear meh?
Reverend D'Von Dudley: Of course I hear you my brother...
Bubba Ray Dudley: NO! Yer hearin' meh but you ain't listenin' ta meh! Drop all dis bullcrap about God and let's do what we do best mah brother, and dat is becoming da very best that da UWF has eva' seen! Screw dis trophy and screw everything that da hater's are sayin'. Yer mah half-brother and nuttin' will change that! We have da Dudley name ta abide by and we will defend these belts as long as we're still standing!
Reverend D'Von looks at the trophy, then looks at Bubba with his big smile and throws the trophy away.
Reverend D'Von: You are absolutely right my brother! From this day forth I shall be known as a Dudley and a true Tag Team Champion, not some lunatic Reverend that tries to brainwash others into his personal religion.
Bubba Ray Dudley: Damn right D'Von! We're going to da top brother! And once you get rid of the 'Reverend' off yer name then we can officially become the Dudley Boyz!
Reverend D'Von shakes his head as Bubba looks away.
...Or you can keep yer Reverend name. Works for me.
The Dudleyz both leave the stage to head backstage as Reverend D'Vons acceptance speech is officially done and over with.
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The Elimination Chamber match looks solid this year, but more importantly The Wyatts vs The Shield!
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As the bumpin' track builds, the fans begin to totally lose their shit. The song cuts out - an explosion of fireworks and blue smoke - and out of nowhere The Miz and John Morrison appear in the ring, surrounded by 40 astoundingly hot super models. The groove starts a' groovin' and the super models dance the way only super models can while Miz and Morrison pose dramatically in the stage. This goes on for exactly four minutes and the UWF faithful love every moment of it. Finally, the super models dance their way back up the ramp and the music fades out, leaving the greatest tag team in e-fed history
bout half a minute of “Walk” blares over the PA system before the old school trio show their beautiful faces to the adoration of the crowd. As a spotlight shines on them, it’s apparent that they’ve already got microphones so no need to collect any after they step into the ring. “Walk” fades out
Ding...
Ding...
Ding...
Miz starts out with Sabu as both men lock up, Miz goes and he breaks the traditional lock up with a kick to the gut, which causes displeasure to the fans, but the Miz has a smarky look on his face. Miz goes and he bounces off the ropes Miz goes and he hits a boot right in the face of Sabu. Miz then grabs the down Sabu, and he starts to land shoulders onto his elbows as he goes and locks in the headlock onto Sabu, Sabu though manages to build his base quickly, and he pushes the Miz off of him. Miz goes bouncing off the ropes and Sabu goes and hits a standing dropkick onto him. Sabu then goes and he heads to the outside of the ring, and springboards with a moonsault onto Miz. Sabu goes for the cover.
1…
No Miz kicks out, and Miz sleezly rolls out of the way, and tags in John Morrison the fans cheer seeing that Morrison and Sabu will tangle it up. Morrison goes in the ring and he locks up with Sabu, as they test their strength with one another. Morrison goes as he manages to get the advantage on Sabu irish whipping him into the ropes. Morrison goes and he jumps over the charging Sabu, and Sabu rebounds again getting caught into an armdrag by Morrison, Morrison goes as he holds the arm tight, Morrison though drags Sabu into his corner, and he tags in Miz. Miz goes and he kicks the gut of Sabu. Miz goes for the pin.
1..
No Sabu kicks out
Jim Ross: Great teamwork shown by Miz and Morrison so far.
Jerry Lawler: Man they are doing well on not getting RVD in this match.
Miz goes and he picks up Sabu, and he lifts him up high hitting a vertical suplex onto him. Miz goes and he gets up as he bows for the move he just did causing the fans to boo, Miz goes and he tags in his partner Morrison, and Morrison flicks his hair. Morrison goes and hits a disco leg drop onto Sabu. Morrison goes for the cover.
1…
2…
No Sabu kicks out again. Morrison goes and he picks up the down Sabu and throws him to the turnbuckle, but Sabu goes as he runs towards it as he climbs up it and he contorts his body in midair hitting a diving crossbody onto Morrison. Sabu then goes as he runs at the Miz in the corner knocking him off of it. Sabu extended all of his energy doing those series of moves as he lies down on the mat crawling to RVD. The fans are chanting RVD as they want him in this match. Sabu is crawling, Alfonso is blowing his whistle, and RVD is reaching, just reaching for that tag. RVD goes and he is reaching out, Sabu goes and he tags in RVD as the fans pop.
Jim Ross: Here comes RVD
RVD goes and he hops over the top rope and the fans cheer like crazy as RVD goes after Morrison, but Morrison looks like he going to punch RVD, but RVD blocks it, and punches him in the face a couple of times, followed by a low leg sweep which the fans cheer for like crazy. RVD goes and he bounces off the ropes and he hits the rolling thunder onto Morrison, RVD then goes to the turnbuckle. RVD goes and he hits his split legged moonsault onto Morrison, and he goes for the cover and the pin.
1…
2…
No kick out by Morrison
Jim Ross: I bet ya RVD made a point in doing that move, since Morrison trashed it earlier this week.
Jerry Lawler: Yeah said he made it better, who does this guy think he is.
Morrison gets picked up by RVD, and RVD brings him in close hitting him with hard shots. The fans cheer for RVD’s onslaught as he throws Morrison into the corner, RVD goes charging at Morrison in the corner, but we see the Miz tap Morrison’s back signaling a tag has been made. RVD dosen’t notice as RVD goes and hits a monkey flip right onto John Morrison. RVD gets up and he begins to do the crowd favorite R….V…No Miz interrupts grabbing RVD’s head, and brings it down on his knee, Miz then quickly goes and hits a swinging neckbreaker on to RVD, and the Miz goes and he picks up the down RVD, and puts him on his knees. The Miz then drops a sharp DDT right onto RVD as he goes for the cover.
1…
2…
No RVD kicks out of the move as the Miz looks on in disbelief on how RVD kicked out of the move. RVD is reeling up as the Miz is behind him and he looks to hit the skull crushing finale onto RVD. RVD gets trapped in the full nelson lock, but RVD though rolls through it. The Miz though rebounds quickly as he charges at RVD, but RVD tries and kicks him. The Miz catches the kick, but RVD goes as he hits his trademark enzguri onto the Miz. RVD goes as he dives for a tag at Sabu who goes and he heads to the top rope. Miz is getting up and Sabu goes and hits a cross body right onto the Miz. Sabu then bounces off the ropes and hits a leg drop right on Miz. Sabu looks into it as he backs up into the corner where Miz and Morrison are. Morrison goes and he grabs the hair of Sabu, which causes Sabu to turn around and push Morrison lightly. Morrison is trying to act innocent acting like he did nothing wrong. Sabu though as he is paying attention Miz goes from behind him, and Miz goes as he hits the skull crushing finale on him. Miz then quickly tags Morrison and he goes as he charges at RVD knocking him off the turnbuckle. Morrison goes and bounces off the turnbuckle hitting starship pain. Morrison goes for the pin.
1…
2…
3….
Justin Roberts: Here is your winner John Morrison, and the Miz.
Miz and Morrison arrogantly celebrate as they get there hands raised, and Morrison goes as he acts snobbish as possible, and so does Miz. Sabu is being checked on, and RVD looks on at disgust as the Salmmies move on.
(The camera pans to the backstage area with Josh Matthews)
Josh Matthews: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm being joined by a very special guest... his name, is Dolph Ziggler.
(Dolph enters)
Josh: How're you doing, Dolph?
Dolph Ziggler: I'm not bad, Josh. Doing pretty good.
Josh: That's great, now as everyone knows we haven't seen you for a while, three months to be exact. What have you been up to, where have you been?
Dolph: Well Josh, there comes a time in every man's life where he has to do a little bit of soul searching, and that's exactly what I've been doing. Over the past three months, I've been traveling all over this world, not to wrestle, but... to find something. Now, I didn't know exactly what I was looking for, but whatever it was, I knew that I had to find it, and to be honest with you... I think I did. I'm at a point in my life now where I can talk to everyone about this, something I never thought I'd be able to do before.
For... my entire life Josh, I've been... different. In high school I joined the football team to fit it, I mean, if you were on the football team, you were treated like royalty. Teachers went easier on you, everyone wanted to be your friend, and the girls... well... who doesn't like an athlete, right?
But I wasn't happy, why? Because I wasn't being me. I wasn't being true to myself. What I can say now that I couldn't say back then, was that I always wanted to be a cheerleader... That's all I ever wanted, but I was too scared to do anything about it. Too scared to tell anyone my real passion. As many people know when I became a professional wrestler, I finally got to live out that dream, and me and the guys had the time of our lives. Wrestling legends like DX, and John Cena, hell, even Ric Flair. But eventually I saw all my friends leave.. each and every member of the Spirit Squad. One by one they quit, or got fired, or lost their passion for this business, and once they left, I knew I had to change.
I couldn't be me, I couldn't run around in a leotard all by myself. I knew the ridicule I'd get backstage. So I changed, I grew my hair, I became more intense, I became someone I didn't even recognize, and I resented myself for that. That's why I left for the past three months, that why I took some time off, but guess what Josh, I'm back now... and I'm finally able to let go of what was holding me back all these years, I'm finally able to... well... show the world who I really am...
Josh Matthews, my name is Dolph Ziggler, and I am a homosexual..."
(Dolph slowly walks off)
We come back to the Slammys podium where host David Arquette is standing by.
David Arquette: These next presenters really need no introduction......mainly because they give themselves a pretty damn good one already. Ladies and Gentlemen, here to present the award for Tag Team of the Year, The New Age Outlaws!
OH YOU DIDN'T KNOW!
The theme music of the New Age Outlaws begins to play and the crowd looses their minds. After the first few bars of music, Road Dogg and Billy Gunn emerge from the back. they reach the podium and Road Dogg looks at Billy gunn with a concerned look on his face.
Road Dogg: You know, Billy, it's been a long damn time since either one of us have been up here. I'm kinda feeling a little nervous. I mean, how long has it been since we've said......llllllllllllladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages! D-Generation X proudly brings to you it's 5 Time Tag Team Champions of the Wooooooorrrrrrrrlllllld........The Road Dogg Jesse James........The Bad Ass Billy Gunn.......The New Age Outlaws!
The crowd chants along with Road Dogg and goes crazy as he finishes. Billy then takes the mic.
Billy Gunn: And, if you're not down with that, we've got two words for ya'!
The crowd screams "SUCK IT!" as James and Gunn look on with glee. They then continue speaking.
Road Dogg: Now, we know a little something about tag teams because, well, we are one, but we've got some killer names on the list. Let's take a look at the nominees for Tag Team of the Year......
-Beer Money (James Storm & Robert Roode)
-Modern Day Double Dragons (Fandango & Ethan Carter III)
-Y.E.S. (Damien Sandow & Bray Wyatt)
-L.A.X. (Homicide & Hernandez)
-Los Guerreros (Eddie & Chavo Guerrero)
Road Dogg opens the envelope and Billy reads the winner.
Billy Gunn: And the winners are.........Fandango &Ethan Carter III, the Modern Day Double Dragons!
Fandango's music hits and the crowd is booing like hell. Fandango and EC3 both come out with Summer Rae and Maxine behind them carrying their World Tag Team Championship belts. Fandango glances over at the New Age Outlaws and scoffs at them. He puts his hand in Road Dogg's face and tells him to move out of the way before speaking.
Fandango: Uhh, news flash grandpa's, we are no longer called the Modern Day Double Dragons. That was the name of the unsuccessful team of Derrick Bateman and Johnny Curtis. We're so much better than a video game. We're like the Modern Day Greek Adonis's. We're so much above the rest of the tag team division, it's not even funny.
Ethan Carter the Third: Well it's a little funny. I mean you guys got a pair of bottom feeders running around here thinking their THE Tag Team Champions when we're the ones with the award. With that kind of competition, what other choice did you guys have? The long lasting teams of Daniel Bryan and Dean Ambrose or John Cena and Edge. What about Beer Money? Remember them? They stole those other titles from us in the first round of the tag team tournament awhile back. Hey where are all those teams now? True talent prevails over all and we are at the top of the pyramid. Not in just tag team but singles as well as Fandango has proven and will prove again when he gains the world title back.
The fans are booing the former Modern Day Double Dragons as they don't seem to care.
Fandango: I couldn't have said it better myself. But not just me, since coming under my guidance, Ethan Carter has become just as undefeated as I have and we will continue our success because we're leaps and bounds better than everyone else. We're the One Percent of this company and the rest of you are just everyone else.
Fandango and Ethan both raise their Slammy's high in the air as Maxine and Summer Rae raise their World Tag Team Championships at the same time. They all leave the stage shortly after.
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The UWF Monthy Awards!
Go check that out and nominate for your favourite Superstars, matches and Tag Teams for the Month of January. Do it, now!
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We return from Commerical as Roddy Piper is standing in the ring with a microphone in hand and 4 stands that are placed side by side. The Piper's Pit is set up in the ring much to the crowd's amazement.
King: What the heck is he doing here? I thought he was relieved of his duties for the night?
JR: Oh King you have so much to learn about Roddy.
Piper gets a chant going as Piper is fired up for another solid edition of Piper's Pit.
Roddy Piper: Well well well it looks like that that the POTUF can't bring this old dog down. They took me off commentary for ONE NIGHT and look what happens, Piper's Pit ends up returning to the UWF! How does that sound yeh cunts?
Piper gets a round of applause as Piper smiles, then points to the stage.
Roddy Piper: Tonight I have been granted to take on four of the chosen ones. Four members that went into the Rags to Riches match and some how managed to grab a bloody briefcase. And what are I going to do with them you may ask? I'm going to have them reveal the briefcases right here, right now! Oh yeah I bet you sons of bitches like that, huh? Well no more time wasting, please allow me to introduce to you the holders of the briefcases, by the order that they were retrieved.
The crowd boos as they know who retrieved the first briefcase.
Roddy Piper: Introducing first, a dancing fool that normally would make me laugh but he managed to score two hot broads in his career... and Dixie Carter, so he has my eternal respect. Ladies and gentleman I give you.... FANDANGO!
Fandango enters the ring and places his briefcase on the first podium. He gives off a sassy look to Piper then waves off the crowds insults. Piper gives Fandango a mean-looking stare then turns his attention to the stage.
Roddy Piper: Introducing next, he is the biggest he-man since the history of he-mans. He is without the doubt the most deserving of the briefcase holders not because of his man-size physique but because of that gal that follows him around. He is the Samoan Bulldozer.... UMAGA!
Roddy Piper is seen clapping his hands as Umaga makes the stage and raises his briefcase up high, yelling to the crowd as he shakes the ropes nearby. Umaga is pumped up as he slams his briefcase onto the briefcase stand, then eyes Fandango as Fandango rolls his eyes and looks away.
Roddy Piper: Now play nice you two, you have all the time in the world to rip each other to shreds in your match later on tonight. Now introducing the bottom bitch of the Dudleyz, and no I'm not talking about Spike Dudley either. This man has a bunch of potential but he keeps getting dragged down by his loser Reverend brother. Ladies and gentleman, I give you... Bubba Ray Dudley!
Bubba Ray Dudley enters the ring and gets into a staredown with Fandango briefly, then walks away and places his briefcase onto the third podium, ignoring the stares from Umaga.
Roddy Piper: There's a good lad. Well finally we have the Superstar that everyone is waiting to hear from *cheers can be heard*. This guy is probably the biggest... oh screw it I'm bored ladies and gentleman... THE UNDERTAKER!
Undertaker is done riding around the ring and enters, posing for the crowd which gathers him some nice pops before placing his briefcase down on the final stand. Taker looks on a Bubba, then glances briefly at Umaga before Piper takes the stage again.
Roddy Piper: Alright lassies, this is how it's gonna work. One by one I'm going to ask you to reveal your briefcase for that camera right there, but you can't leave the ring until all briefcases have been revealed. Got it? Well alright then let's start with Fandango's briefcase. Fandango, please open up your briefcase.
Fandango flips the lock off the briefcase and opens it. He lowers the lid down for the crowd to see and it reveals to be for a Tag Team Championship Shot! Fandango looks confused with the briefcase he has. He looks down at his tag team title belt, then back to the briefcase, then to Piper then shakes his head in disbelief.
Roddy Piper: Good effort there lad. At least you got something right? Well anyways lets move on to Umaga. When you calm your tits down buddy then you can open up your briefcase.
Umaga screams out loud and forces the briefcase open without unlocking it first. He manages to break apart the lock and opens up the briefcase with all his strength, revealing that the briefcase is for a World Championship Shot! Umaga yells out loud again in victory as both Taker and Bubba shake their heads, knowing that the World title opportunity is already gone.
Roddy Piper: Haha! Sorry boys but your dreams of a world title opporuntity are gone just like that! But there's still two other titles shots avaliable, so let's see what Bubba Ray has in his briefcase.
Bubba Ray opens up his briefcase, opens it up with some difficulty and finally reveals what's inside the briefcase: A Second Tier title shot! Bubba is laughing now as Undertaker is looking pissed off, knowing what his title case actually is. Undertaker opens up his briefcase in a fury and sees that his briefcase holds a Third Tier title shot. Bubba Ray Dudley is still laughing at Undertaker but Taker grabs the throat of Bubba. Bubba struggles as a brawl happens between the four participants. Roddy Piper is having a laughing fit in the ring but raises up his mic.
Roddy Piper: Alright ladies break it up. You can save it for your tag team match that it's happening very shortly. And when I mean shortly... I MEAN NOW!
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Sometimes you have to mention the positives when insulting people. Jesus will always be there for you, not matter how stupid you can get.
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The bell is sounded three times as Fandango and Umaga slowly circle around the ring, both men staring into the eyes of each other. Umaga roars and beats his chest but Fandango keeps his calm demeanour as the rampaging bull known as Umaga who charges at Fandango, but Fandango holds his ground and catches Umaga into an elbow & collar tie up; but Umaga manages to shunt Fandango backwards, Fandango is back pedalling due to Umaga’s raw strength before slamming Fandango into the corner. Umaga reverses backwards before lunging back into Fandango, slamming his hip, crushing Fandango between Umaga and the turnbuckles, Umaga becomes relentless in his assault, carrying out the same move four times before being asked to back off by referee Charles Robinson; Umaga isn’t best impressed but follows the referees instructions.
Jim Ross: Umaga looks to be in rare form here tonight King, as he can't wait to cash in the Global Championship shot he holds.
Jerry Lawler: Umaga is one tough cookie JR, but Fandango is no slouch!
Fandango slaps Bubba across the chest not wanting any more of Umaga; Bubba climbs into the ring and yells, “You want some of this!” At Umaga but those are fatal words and Umaga charges at Bubba; Bubba dodges out of the way of Umaga and on Umaga’s rebound, Bubba plants an elbow into Umaga knocking him down to the ground; Bubba then seizes the moment to grab a quick pinfall attempt on the monster.
One…
Two…
Umaga pushes Bully Ray off of him with ease and gets back to his feet and begins to trade blows in the middle of the ring but Bubba takes a cheap shot to the gut; Umaga keels over for a moment allowing Bubba to follow up with a Bionic Elbow; Umaga hits the canvas but rolls back to his feet, Bubba tries to take down Umaga again but this time, Umaga ducks underneath and heads Bubba knocking him down to the canvas. Umaga steps backwards and roars at the top of his voice to show his dominance but this has allowed Undertaker to slap Umaga across the back and steps into the ring.
Jim Ross: Looks like The Undertaker wants a piece of action.
Jerry Lawler: How are these teams gonna coexist?
Undertaker climbs over the top rope as Bubba and quickly tags in Fandango, who suffers the wrath of The Undertaker; Taker tosses Fandango over the top rope into the ring as Fandango spent to much time dithering on the ring apron, Fandango rolls to his feet and turns around straight into a big boot from The Undertaker knocking him down to the canvas; Fandango shoots back up to his feet which allows Undertaker grab the arm of Fandango and Irish Whips Fandango across the ring; but Fandango manages to recover and nails The Undertaker with a leaping Leg Lariat taking The Undertaker down to the canvas and Fandango quickly goes for a cover.
1...
2...
Taker gets the shoulder up!
Fandango brings Taker to his feet as Bubba shots at Fandango to tag him in but Fandango laughs. "I'm going to get all the tags titles around my waste not yours!" Bubba just laughs as Taker comes back to life and nails Fandango with a big right hand. Taker clearly has some frustrations to work out having just picked up the 3rd Tier Championship shot. Taker grabs Fandango and throws him head first into the steel turnbuckle and as Fandango comes out of there Taker wraps his hand around Fandango's throat ready to chokeslam him!
Jim Ross: Oh here we go, Fandango could be going for a ride here.
Jerry Lawler: Taker is looking to hurt some people here tonight like he tried to do to Kane at the Royal Rumble.
As Taker is about to chokeslam Fandango, the former International Champion counters into a hurricanrana. Taker goes falling to the mat and this allows Fandango a chance to get back in this. He goes over and starts stomping away at Taker, trying to wear him down. Fandango then wraps his legs around Taker's arm and crashes down on it. Fandango then tags in Bubba Ray.
JR: It just goes to show why these two men are Tag Team Champions.
Bubba starts hammering away at Taker, hitting him with right hands and a few elbows. He picks Taker up and whips him into the ropes. As Taker comes back, Bubba bends down for a back body drop but Taker counters and hits Bubba with a big running DDT. Taker then covers Bubba.
1..
2..
Fandango interrupts the pin but Umage charges in and hits Fandango with a big splash. Umage then goes to the outside and grabs Fandango and throws him into the steel steps. Fandango hits shoulder first into the steel steps as Umaga lets out a big roar. Inside the ring, Take grabs Bubba by the head and lifts him back up to his feet. He places Bubba on his shoulder and walks over towards the corner. He then drops Bubba onto the turnbuckle, hitting Bubba with Snake Eyes. Bubba stumbles back, allowing Taker to capitalize once again. As Bubba turns around, Taker levels him with a big boot.
Jerry Lawler: The Deadman is taking out his briefcase frustrations out on Bubba Ray Dudley!
Taker grabs Bubba by the arm and drags him back to his feet. Taker then scales the turnbuckle while holding onto Bubba's arm. He then starts tightrope-walking the top rope. Taker then comes off and hits Bubba with the Old School!
JR: A little bit of Old School here at the Slammys, King!
Jerry Lawler: I've missed seeing this on SmackDown, JR!
As he comes down, Taker looks over at Umaga on the apron, wanting a tag. Taker then walks over and tags him in. As Bubba is down on the mat, Fandango climbs onto the the apron and slaps Bubba's shoulder, tagging himself in. Umaga looks over and roars again as Fandango enters the ring. Umaga then charges at Fandango, trying to splash him into the corner. Fandango sidesteps Umaga and the "Samoan Bulldozer" crashes into the corner chest first. He stumbles back and this allows Fandango a chance to roll him up in a school boy pin.
1..
2..
KICK-OUT!!
Umaga gets back up to his feet and has had enough. Fandango is back up as Umaga starts hitting him with stiff right hands. He throws him into the ropes. As he comes back, Umaga goes for a back body drop but Fandango stops and kicks Umaga in the face. Fandango looks over at Taker and hits him with a dropkick to the legs, knocking him off the apron. On the way down, Taker hits his head on the apron and falls down. Fandango looks pleased with himself but, as he turns around, he sees Umaga glaring a hole right through him. Fandango tries to exit the ring but Umaga catches him and drags him back in. He hits him with a club to the back and knocks him winding. Umaga sends him back into the ropes. Unbeknownst to Umaga, Bubba slaps Fandango on the back and is a legal tag. On the rebound, Umaga throws Fandango into the air and catches him in a samoan drop. Umaga then scales the turnbuckle to the second rope and screams once more. Before he can do anything, however, Bubba hits him in the back of the head with a forearm smash.
JR: Bubba's the legal man!
Jerry Lawler: Umaga doesn't know that!
Bubba then locks Umaga in a full nelson and hits Umaga with a Bubba Bomb from the top rope!
JR: GOOD GAWD!
The King: What a move!
Umaga hits hard on the mat, as does Bubba. With Bubba's last bit of strength, he places an arm over Umaga.
1..
2..
3!!
YOUR WINNERS, UWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPION FANDANGO AND UWF TAG TEAM CHAMPION BUBBA RAW DUDLEY!!!
JR: The tag team champions of RAW and SmackDown defeated two big monsters here tonight!
Jerry Lawler: They outsmarted them, JR. Brains always overcomes brawn!
Fandango is met on the ramp by Summer Rae and EC3 and Bubba is met by D'Von. The two pairs of tag team champions have a staredown on the ramp as we fade into the next segment.
Jeff Jarrett is unexpectly seen backstage as the fans are a bit surprised to see him there. Jarrett clears his throat as he begins to speak to the camera, wishing to address the UWF Faithful.
Jeff Jarrett: Alright folks I know that y'all are itchin' to get back to yer wresslin' and whatnot, but I have to make a quick announcement here. Now y'all know that I'm a member of the UWF Board of Directors and I'm banned from wresslin' in the UWF, but I feel that things are dying down a little bit which is something that I ain't ok with. You see RAW is looking all fine n' dandy, but I feel that Smackdown needs a little pick me up, if you know what I'm saying. Smackdown needs that one that'll make it stand out as the most dominant brand in the UWF. Now I know for a fact that I can personally accomplish that task, but since I ain't allowed to wrestle anymore I can however offer my manager services for an individual. I have found my man who can fit the bill, one that is under appreciated and overlooked from one of the defunct brands. This man was destined to do great things, but the General Manger of that brand looked down at him and never used this bad boy to his potential. That is why slapnuts, I have decided to take him on and bring him to Smackdown where he can make his presence known!
The fans are giving a mixed reaction, mostly cheers as Jeff Jarrett continues on.
Jeff Jarrett: What Smackdown needs is a hero. Some kind of critter that can rise from the ranks and give out the damnest first impression that y'all will ever see! What Smackdown needs is someone that y'all can depend on to get the job done. All of this garbage that CM Punk, Cody Rhodes, Matt Morgan and Paul Heyman do is sickening. What is even more sickening however is that there ain't nobody that can stop 'em. I mean come on what does Smackdown have, a Golden Movie critic? Pfft please I can make my boots shine brighter then Goldust's face paint ever can. Who else.. oh yeah AJ Styles. The man that once took no names and won the World Heavyweight Champion, but he slumped down and took any old scraps that Austin gave him. I bet your real proud of that Hardcore Champion, aren't ya ? Good luck on your match by the way there sport.
Jarrett chuckles to himself before going on.
Jeff Jarrett: Settle down there fellas, I don't wanna start shit by bashin' your champions. I know they earned their belts and hats off to them, but these kinds of champions won't bring the ratings up, and they sure as hell won't be bringing Smackdown to the top. No what my client is planning to do is to annilihate those who want to shit all over Smackdown with their bullcrap. My client didn't like how he was treated the last time he was in the UWF and I don't think he would appreciate it if he was benched again. No sir when my client returns to the UWF next week on Smackdown, I know for a fact that he's going to make an impact! As a matter of fact I'm making it official: I'm making an open challenge next week on Smackdown, I'm sure that my client can use a warm-up match. Just don't start bitchin' if he leaves you black and blue, 'cuz he ain't a patient man, I can tell you that much! I'll see y'all next week on Smackdown, and y'all better come prepared for the surprise that I have in store for y'all!
Jeff Jarrett is smiling to the camera as the feed cuts off, the show then going somewhere else.
We come back to Slammy host David Arquette already standing at the podium, ready to introduce the next presenter.
David Arquette: Woooooo! Are we having fun tonight.....or are we having fun tonight?!
The crowd boos Arquette loudly. This doesn't seem to phase the former WCW Champion much.
David Arquette: This next presenters are people who haven't been seen around these parts, one of them since Anarchy was around. He is the "Master of the Cobra" and some would even refer to him as the "Milan Miracle" and with him he is the "Moscow Mauler". Ladies and gentlemen, Santino Marella and Vladmir Kozlov!!
The theme song of the Italian superstar begins to play and those boos that were once present for Arquette turn to cheers for Santino and Kozlov. They emerge, dressed to kill. Kozlov has the envelope in his hands and, as he's figiting due to nerves, he accidentally rips it.
Santino Marella: Uhh.....Oops! My apologies for the rippage. No matter because it is I, Santino Marella, finally-a back here in the UWF! Now, you may remember the last times you saw me, I was partnered with that scary meanie Ro-Mon Reigns! But, tonight isn't about Santino. No, tonight is about the Slammys, the first of all de times! The award I'm here to present is the "L-O-L" Award. Now, I'm not too hip on your savvy lingo but I do happen to know that L-O-L stands for Little Ole Larry and, I'm-a sorry but who is this Larry person?
Kozlov whispers something into Santino's ear. Santino brightens up and continues speaking.
Santino Marella: Oh.....I get it. No, no, L-O-L stands for Laugh Out Loud and that's exactly what we did when we saw these moments unfold. Vladmir, do you have anything to add?
Vladmir Kozlov: I love You-Double-Eff!
Santino Marella: Really? Is that it? Go! Just go!
Kozlov looks disheartened and walks to the back. The cheers then turn to boos.
Santino Marella: Okie dokies! The nominees for the LOL Award are.....
-The Modern Day Double Dragons using the "Kamehameha" and "Spirit Bomb" (UWF Anarchy)
-Triple H "buries" Austin Aries (UWF SmackDown)
-THE Brian Kendrick and Paul London meet Paul Giamatti (UWF SummerSlam 2013)
-Chris Masters and Dolph Ziggler's "Workout Tape" (UWF Anarchy)
-LAX and "Douglass Fir" (UWF SmackDown)
Santino then opens the envelope a little more and reads the winner.
Santino Marella: And your winner of the Slammy Award........Triple H "buries" Austin Aries from UWF Smack-a-Down!
TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!!
"The Game" by Motorhead begins playing as the crowd comes unglued. After the first few bars of music, the UWF COO emerges from the back but he isn't alone. He is carrying his trusty sledgehammer with him. Santino spots this and is instantly terrified.
Triple H just smiles and tries to calm down and reassure Santino. As Marella lets his guard down, however, Triple H blast Santino in the skull with the sledgehammer. Santino collapses to the floor as the crowd pops. Triple H picks up his Slammy award and speaks into the mic.
Triple H: Now, I don't know about you, but that damn sure made me "LOL", So did your earlier words, Tyson....
"The Game" then walks off stage as his music plays and the crowd continues to go crazy. Officials are checking on Santino who is just coming to.
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Take note future parents...
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DING!
DING!
DING!
The referee signals for the bell and this one is underway. Booker takes the time to take off his coat and hands it to Sharmell on the outside. Shark Boy then moves in closer to Booker. As he turns around, Shark Boy begins unloading right hands onto the supposed "King:"
JR: Shark Boy's lookin' to open up a fresh can of Whoop Bass here on King Booker!
The King: That's not a king, JR. That's just a delusional Booker T in a crown!
Shark Boy has Booker backed up into the corner and this allows Shark Boy an opening. Shark Boy climbs to the second turnbuckle and goes for a tornado DDT. Booker counters and just shoves Shark Boy stomach first to the mat. As Shark Boy gets up, Booker levels him with a big side kick. Booker then drops to one knee and does a Spin-A-Rooni!
JR: It's a......King-A-Rooni?
The King: JR, we're friends but, seriously, I will Andy Kaufman you right now!
As Booker stands up from the Spin-A-Rooni, Shark Boy is already up and he flips Booker off before leveling him with a Chummer!
JR: CHUMMER! CHUMMER! SHARK BOY! SHARK BOY!
The King: Calm down, JR. He's not Stone Cold. He just acts like him!
Shark Boy then covers Booker.
1..
2..
3!!
YOUR WINNER AND NEEEEEEEWWWWWW UWF UNITED STATES CHAMPION, SHARK BOY!!!
The King: Yes! Long Live The C.U.N.T. JR! Booker T was nothing but Shark bait!
JR: The leader of the Council of Underwater and Nomadic Talent has just usurped royalty here tonight and became the new US Champion!
Booker is just coming to as Shark Boy is celebrating his win with his partners Paul Burchill and Grado. Shark Boy holds the US Title in Booker's face, as if mocking him. Booker stands up and yells at the C.U.N.T. to "KISS MY ROYAL FEET!" Paul Burchill then pulls out his sword and holds it to Booker's throat.
JR: Oh no, King!
The King: Captain Burchill doesn't take too kindly to scalliwags!
Booker's eyes grow wide but Burchill puts the sword back in it's sheath and laughs with Booker. Booker lets out a reluctant laugh as Burchill slaps his shoulder. Then, Burchill kicks Booker in the gut and hits him with the Walk The Plank!
JR: I've never seen royalty Walk The Plank before!
The King: Thanks for coming Booker T! I love it, JR!
Burchill and Grado lift Shark Boy's arm in the air in victory as the crowd goes crazy. Shark Boy then scales the top rope and throws the US Title into the air, Austin-style as we fade into the next segment.
Damien Sandow:
Allow me to beg your indulgence for one moment, My name is Damien Sandow and I am here to help all of you. Over the course of my career I have bested all those false idols you have placed upon a pedestal, I have proven my word to be the only true way to live, and have shown that without my guiding light anyone who forsakes me is simply blindly attempting to tread water in the sea of inequity. However, in the process of doing all this it has been made apparent that you people do not recognize me as your salvation. While it is apparent that you are a people of mediocrity, laziness, and complacency in your droll and dreary lives, I have vowed to never blame you for this said ignorance no matter how great or self-imposed it may be. For you simply do not know any better, but with that in mind Tonight has in and of itself showed me that simply trusting you all to know enough to grab on to the lifeline of taste and decency I have thrown to you is not enough.
Sandow looks disgusted for a moment before continuing.
Let us remember why we are here this evening, this week’s serial has been dubbed “The Slammy Awards” And while the name itself brings to question the legitimacy of this show it is also a night of celebration of the past year. A Celebration of incompetence with a cavalcade of despondence, look no further than the so called Nominees. I, Damien Sandow, have no Single nomination amongst the awards and the small mentions of my accomplishments are for a team I have since left behind me for their inability to follow my word. But if that does not tell you enough, let us look at the “Awards”. L, O, L moment of the year? Shocking and quote unquote “Oh My God” Moment of the year? The individuals who came up with these categories should be celebrated for their efforts as they have found the least award worthy awards in history. But if you thought it all ended there, you would be as you usually are, Wrong, for last and certainly in the running in a three way tie with categories and nominees as least, is the card this evening.
Sandow shakes his head almost in disappointment.
The Team of: lewd behavior, narcissistic indulgences, and bad examples against a team of: immoral and atrocious acts in and out of the ring. A Tag Team bout with four unfit and unworthy competitors, two of which I have bested and two of which I haven’t only because I have thankfully yet to have to soil my extremities of them in the ring, and yet all these men hold cases for Championship opportunities simply for grabbing a briefcase hanging above while I have yet to receive any of my Four Championship Rematches promised me in my contract. And To round out the card we have the three most abhorrent Championship bouts in UWF History, First A delusional and degenerate self-proclaimed king defending his championship against…Shark Boy…I man who has yet to accomplish anything aside from forming a team that challenges the audience to figure out whether it is their name or the members within it that is worst, and yet has received a championship opportunity. Second, an addled and overhyped relic who is the blueprint for false idols in our profession against his in many ways false idol status successor who has just now returned and has accomplished nothing and yet has received a championship opportunity. And Finally… We have the “hardcore” Champion, a title that should be killed and buried for its horrendous status, being given a UWF Championship opportunity against an unworthy and overconfident in his ability charlatan.
Damien raises a hand, speaking louder as if angry at the next point he's about to bring up.
And yet amidst this card you will not find my name anywhere, in fact I was not even booked in a bout for the ever fluctuating velocity. It appears people are overlooking my person once again, and on a night so abhorrent it has opened my eyes towards what I must do…For if you shall not accept my help willingly, you shall be saved or eradicated forcefully. This era of B.S, Before Sandow, will come to an end soon enough and whether you willingly accept it or not, You shall all be made in my image, enlightened, and After Sandow you will all thank me. Mark my words, from here on out I shall be making sure my word is no longer ignored...and now that I know how to accomplish my new era, albeit forcefully…the moment is now nearer than ever before for me to state…You’re Welcome.
The lights in the arena go dark as the ominous theme of Sting starts to play. The lights then turn to a hazy blue and smoke starts to rise from the entrance and the ramp.
The lights then turn on as an army of Stings start walking down the ramp.
And then amongst all of them one comes down from the rafters with bad in hand as he unhooks himself.
The fans are cheering like crazy enjoying the theatrics and showing that is going on here as Sting makes his way down the ramp and enters the ring as the army of Stings surround the ring. Sting has an emotionless look on his face as he gazes off into the crowd.
But before anything is said… smoke comes down from the rafter engulfing Sting.
And a voice is heard… An all to familiar voice.
I’M BAAAAAAAACK!
The smoke clears as the one and only Rated R Superstar Edge stands in the ring with mic in hand. A mixed reaction is being given from the crowd.
Rated R Superstar Edge:
You know its funny how when I came in I was looked upon as such a great acquisition. I was looked upon as the man, the myth, the legend, the icon, human highlight reel, the main event, and your future champion. I was loved. And then I saw that doing what you all wanted me to do got me nowhere so I decided to pave my own path and I started getting title opportunities and became champion. European Champion, tag team champion, Money in the Bank Winner, and then eventually world champion. I accomplished all of that on my own without the support of anybody but Trish. And then after Starrcade I disappeared and low and behold… the man that held Smackdown together. The man that brought Smackdown from the depths of Hell to a premier show was gone and nobody said a word. Nobody batted an eye. It’s as if… you do everything and you bring things to light, you create buzz, you bring meaning back, you bring prestige back, you do all of that and once you are gone nobody gives a shit.
So shoot I was thinking why bother coming back? Why bother doing anything if nobody even cares right? I’ve already proven that I’m the best here in UWF. I’ve already done everything there is to do here. What more is there for me to do. Everyone here is happy being mediocre at best. Everyone here is satisfied with just being a champion. But then I realized why they were glad I was gone. Because I elevated the game because while all of them are satisfied with just being champion I showed that wasn’t enough. I showed that it isn’t enough to just be a champion but instead I showed that there is a drive to be the absolute best in the business. I showed that you can strive to be a champion and still be nothing in this business. I showed that you have to have that drive, that you have to have that determination, that will to want to be the absolute very best in the industry to truly be anybody and they would rather ignore that fact but it can’t be denied any longer. I AM THE BEST!
So what did I do? The only thing that could be done… surprise surprise. I made sure to not say a word to anybody about my return, about where, when, or even how it would happen. Matter of fact I made sure that not even Trish would say much about me. Just keep me out of everything so that when I do return… it would be that much bigger and what bigger way to return than to take a gimmick that someone made famous… and make it look better than it ever did. Play it better than the original ever did. That’s right… I outdid Steve Borden as Sting. I generated a buzz and generated a cheer bigger than he ever could have imagined. And just the look on his face when he saw Sting looking at him face to face and eliminating him… shocking right? Looks like I’ll be back next year for most shocking moment.
Edge walks around a little bit collecting his thoughts before continuing.
Rated R Superstar Edge:
But let this be a constant to each of you. Edge is indeed back and he intends on doing what he has always done and that is excelling and each and every single thing that he ever puts his hands on. Everything I touch turns to gold. Everything that I set out to do I accomplish. I set out to revolutionize the industry and I did that. I set out to shock the world and I did that. I set out to change the landscape of this industry and I accomplished that. And now that I’m here once again I am setting out to make the biggest impact the UWF has ever seen. I have made sure that my name and my face will never be forgotten for years to come. I’ve made sure that my mark in the industry will be the mark that all will try to strive to reach but will always come up short because there can only be ONE Edge. There can only be one greatest and you are looking at him. You are in the presence of greatness personified.
The Road to WrestleMania always begins at Royal Rumble and although Deano won… everyone else is talking about my entrance, and how I eliminated Steven. So just know… no matter what any of you do whatever I do will always outshine what you do. Whatever I do will always be talked about over whatever you accomplish. My time has once again arrived to shine. The god of Wrestling IS BACK! And yes… as always… you can hate me now.
Edge drops the mic and extends his arms as there are more boos coming down on him this time than earlier.
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UWF Saturday Night Smackdown! Featuring some of the best Superstars and matches in the world! Can RAW top it? Tune in to Smackdown so you can never find out!
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We come back from commercial as John Bradshaw Layfield is standing in front of the Slammy podium already.
John Bradshaw Layfield:
Thank you, Thank you, Oh how good is it to be with you all once more…My people…Well not “my people” I mean let’s face it folks I’ve left this place and decided to hang my hat in the Greatest City in the World New York. But still all of you, no matter how beneath me, are still my people. Just cause I aint gonna shake your hands or talk with any of you, doesn’t mean I don’t love all of you. And sure after I leave tonight you are going to get back in yo pick-up truck and drive home to your seedy homes and continue on your dreary lives while I Ha-Ha am going back to my limousine, driving to the airport, and headed back to New York, Champagne in my hand at all times, but for now I am simply ecstatic to be with you all once again. And believe it or not, it is my honor to provide you all with this moment, the moment to bear witness to JBL once again and make your lives mean something for just a split second in history.
The crowd boos as JBL raises his hands up in the air, the crowd booing his efforts as he smiles out as if those jeers are praise and cheers.
Now Let’s get on track because I’m here to present a very important award, an award to the future of our business. And as the first ETW Champion in history, the Greatest ETW Global Champion in history, and the Final UCW Champion, no one is more qualified to give out this here Slammy than yours truly. So Without further Ado, The nominees for Breakout Star of the Year are:
Five fine superstars, all deserving of it, but only one can win it. So Let’s see who gets the prestige of not only being known as the Breakout Star of the Year, but the…Honor of being handed it by the one and Only WRESLING-A…GOD!...John Bradshaw Layfield, But before I open this envelope try your hardest to hold back your urges to chant those three letters they love all across the world…tonight isn’t about J…B…L…It’s about…
JBL finally shuts up long enough to open the envelope and read the name.
Tyson Kidd!
Welcome to the Masquerade by Thousand Foot Krutch blasts through the speakers and Tyson Kidd steps out of the curtain as he's met with a big negative response from the audience. Kidd has a cocky grin on his face as everyone heard about his plans earlier on for the future of this company. He still believes the ball's in his court. Kidd walks up to the podium and raises the Break Out Star of the Year Slammy Award over his head and leans forward to the microphone.
Tyson Kidd
"A lot of people call me a lot of different things, I've been called a prodigy of this business, tonight I get awarded what I look at as an insult, Break Out Star of the year. Meaning nobody was expecting me to achieve what I have here in the UWF. Lately people have been calling me, Tyson Kidd, the future of this business, and I think that's bullshit! I'm the best in-ring performer this company has, today!"
Kidd throws his Slammy award off the stage in front of him, the crowd is somewhat shocked at his actions and the audience begins to boo him.
Tyson Kidd
"That award doesn't mean anything, if anything it's a slap in the face. For the last year I've not only been the fastest rising star, but I've been the best. Better than anyone else. I've gotten to the point where men know that they can't beat me, so these cowards have to do things like use their best friend, and their best friend's wife to try to screw me because deep down they know that they don't stand a chance against the best. But of course all of you idiots are too blind to realize what's happening right in front of you. Every one of you paint me as the bad guy here but ask yourselves this one question. Was I the one that Superkicked a defenseless woman at the Royal Rumble? Was I the one that after the damage was done, picked that same woman up and delivered a Pedigree to her? Or was I the man that's worked his ass off just to get to the main event, beating every single man that they put in front of him? Grinding it out, knowing that the light at the end of the tunnel was getting closer, just to be screwed out of that by the men you look up to."
The crowd breaks out in a "HBK" chant briefly before Kidd shakes his head in disgust before speaking again.
Tyson Kidd
"My wife can't be here tonight and doctors have said that she won't be back on Raw for at least a month, all thanks to your World Heavyweight Champion and his little running buddy. Now look I know I can't make everything right here, the damage is done, but Shawn, Hunter, you crossed a line when you put your hands on my wife, and I'm going to make you pay, I can promise you that. I don't want to do it in the court room Hunter, and I doubt you do either. I laid down the challenge earlier tonight, you two, against me and a man of my choice against you two scum bags at Unforgiven. I'm praying that you two finally do something right for a change, and finally step up. I don't want your little Break Out Star of the year awards, hell, this isn't even about that World Title. You laid your hands on the only woman I've ever loved, this is personal. I will stop at nothing to give you both what you deserve. The screwjobs are over, the games are over, I'm sick of this."
Kidd looks directly in the camera as the crowd showers Kidd with boos. The latest Slammy award winner looks into the camera and speaks very slowly and clearly for everyone to hear.
Tyson Kidd
"Shawn...Hunter...I've got two words for both of you...Game...Over."
Kidd walks off the stage as the crowd starts a "DX" chant and cameras go elsewhere.
Cameras head backstage to catch up with the man that was once again, unsuccessful at becoming the UWF World Heavyweight Champion, Tyson Kidd. The crowd boos as soon as Kidd's face appears on the titantron. He doesn't look to be in a good mood and he pushes Renee Young out of the camera shot so only his face can be seen.
Tyson Kidd
"What all of you saw at the Royal Rumble was a travesty. This themes to be a reoccurring theme, each month, they find out how to screw Tyson Kidd. Oh and you'll all have to excuse me, there's a reason my wife Natalya isn't here with me tonight, because those guys that all of you look up to, your World Champion and that degenerate of a COO, decided to Superkick and then Pedigree and innocent woman, right after her almost being molested outside of the ring by that old sack of shit Ric Flair. What you witnessed at the Royal Rumble was an embarrassment, it was embarrassing not only for myself, but every other guy in the back that's worked his ass of to get here. Sunday just shined a light on what this company is really up to. No matter how good you are, no matter how hard you've worked, none of that matters if you don't kiss some ass along the way. Love me or hate me I've worked my tail off to get to where I am, a lot of people call me cocky but all of those people are just jealous."
Kidd takes a short pause to wipe his mouth off before staring right into the camera once again as he's now shouting his words.
Tyson Kidd
"We all know that Shawn can't beat me on his best day, time after time he has to take the low road. Open your eyes people, is that really the man you want representing this company? Well soon enough we won't have to deal with Shawn as the Champion of this company... Now even though I got screwed last night, even though I was once again cheated out of what I deserve, surprise, Triple H has not granted me for the World Championship. But here's the thing, Triple H's days are numbered. Remember that contract that Triple H signed on Raw a few weeks ago? That stated that if he fails to call my match right down the middle, or if he puts his hands on me, my lawyers will sue him for everything he's worth. Guess what Hunter, not only did you not call it down the middle like you promised you would, but you also put your hands on me and got a little bit too physical with my wife. So Shawn, enjoy your last fews moments you have with that Championship, because as we speak, my lawyers are getting all their legal documents prepared and are ready to sue the pants off of Triple H. I can promise you that you both are going to lose everything."
The crowd boo's at the Canadian. The boo's are mixed with some 'You Suck' chants as well.
Tyson Kidd
"Now I love the UWF, so I would never let it die, I've put more blood, sweat, and tears into that mat than anyone else. I've been here every single night for almost a year now, believe it or not, I love this company. So I'm not going to let it sink along with Triple H. Instead, I had a better idea, how does this sound? Tyson Kidd...the COO of the UWF?"
A large smile begins to grow on the face of Tyson Kidd as the crowd's boo's are heard easily from inside the arena. He doesn't look to be finished speaking yet though.
Tyson Kidd
"In a few weeks, I have the ability to run this company, and I can do whatever I want. Now I know Shawn doesn't have the balls to put his World Championship up again so I can tell that's not going to happen. So here's what I propose, next time we're on pay-per view, right before Wrestlemania. I'll drop all the charges for one match. Myself Tyson Kidd, and a partner of my choosing, versus Triple H & Shawn Michaels, Degeneration-X, because Hunter, as much as I would love taking your job and therefor making you homeless, I'm not an evil person, you have a wife and children, you need your career. So the only thing I want is the chance to kick your ass and that pretty boy friend of yours. What do you have to lose? The gold won't be on the line Shawn, and hell, you've beat me all these times, are you afraid of me? But of course, if that offer doesn't sound too appealing, then I could always see you in court?"
Kidd has a huge grin on his face as he walks off of camera and the backstage cameras go elsewhere.
We come back to 2014 Slammy Award host David Arquette standing at the podium. As he speaks, the crowd continues booing him.
David Arquette: Ladies and Gents, what a show we've witnessed thus far! But, if you think we're done, uh uh! Nope! There's still tons more scheduled that could potentially.....shock us. In fact, this next category is Shocking Moment of the Year and who better to present this award than the man who can shock like none other. Please, give a warm welcome to......The Shockmaster!
The theme music of The Shockmaster begins to play over the PA system and The Shockmaster walks out from the back to a big applause. On his way to the podium, Shockmaster trips over his shoelaces and falls to the mat, knocking his helmt off. Shockmaster, however, recovers and puts his helmet back on quickly and stands up right in front of the podium.
The Shockmaster: Yes, it is I, The Shockmaster and I am here......to shock you! I have had my fair shar of shocking moments......but I have never shocked quite like the nominees for this award.........Ok I'm going to be honest here. I'm seriously offended at this. I mean, I sit around for years, just waiting for a call from the UWF and when I finally get it, This is what it's for? Just go ahead and show the nominees. I'm gonna go kill myself after this.
- MVP defeats Edge for the UWF Championship (UWF SmackDown)
- Edge cashes in Money in the Bank and becomes UWF Champion (UWF SummerSlam 2013)
- Stephanie McMahon fires Daniel Bryan (UWF RAW)
- Dusty Rhodes throws in the towel for Cody (UWF Bound for Glory 2013)
- Formation of the Establishment (UWF Anarchy)
The Shockmaster: ......Yep, I'm gonna take about a handful of........Oh! And....and your winner is....
Shockmaster opens up the envelope and announces the winner.
The Shockmaster: Edge cashes in Money in the Bank!
YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME?!
Edge walks up to the podium to accept his award.
Rated R Superstar Edge:
I’d ask if any of you are surprised but then I already know… you shouldn’t be. I’m The Ultimate Opportunist for a reason. I mean really do all of you think that I just give myself these titles cause they are cute sounding? Because they look good on tshirts or something? I use them because they are true. Just like at the Royal Rumble I shocked the world at SummerSlam. Nobody knew when I would cash in my Money in the Bank contract. Nobody did except me. But what made it even better… the assumption was that I’d cash it in on the world heavyweight champion. Oh no no no that isn’t me. I have to make mine stand out from anything that has ever been done in history. So I instead cashed in on Batista and took the UWF Championship.
I mean it was perfect. It was something that even today can be talked about. And who knows maybe at the next Slammys my entrance as Sting in the Rumble will be nominated and I may be nice enough to grace you all with my presence for another acceptance speech. But for now just enjoy the moment and take plenty of pictures of the man that is the winner of the most shocking moment in UWF. Because I’m sure that moment and the Rumble is only the beginning as there will be other things to be done by The Ultimate Opportunist to land me once again at the top as most shocking.
Edge holds up his Slammy once more before walking off stage.
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http://static3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090607170819/prowrestling/images/e/e3/WWE_Velocity.jpg
Check out UWF Velocity that's happening this Friday! Featuring the Superstars from both RAW and Smackdown; where anything can happen.
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ATTENTION PLEASE! ATTENTION PLEASE!
THIS SH*T HERE FEELS LIKE THE WHOLE WORLD COLLAPSED
Justin Roberts: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the UWF Transatlantic Championship... first from West Newbery, Massachucets... Johhhnnnnnn Ceeeeeenaaaaaaa
Cena looks excited to be out there as the fans give a mix reaction to the former European Champion. Cena goes as he looks excited and he does his trademark run down the ramp, and slides into the ring as the fans keep roaring the mix reaction. Cena goes as he bounces around a bit in the ring as he awaits for the champion
Fans roar in the arena as the song of the almighty hulkster is played. Hogan comes out with the transatlantic championship in his hand
Justin Roberts: From Hollywood California... he is the current defending UWF Transatlantic Champion...... The almighty Huuuuuulllllkkkkkkk Hooooooooooooooogaaaaaaaann
Hogan is doing his usual posing as he walks down the ramp as the fans are eating up every minute of it. Hogan goes and he enters the ring as he looks on at Cena, Hogan enters the ring and hands his belt to the referee the fans cheer like crazy as Hogan goes and he looks on at Cena
Ding...
Ding...
Ding...
John Cena goes and he stares down with Hulk Hogan the fans cheer like crazy never seeing this match before with them standing on their feet. Hogan goes and he smiles as so does Cena, and they begin to slowly circle around each other before a big lock up, and the fans give a mix reaction as it appears Cena is winning the battle when all of a sudden Hogan goes and he gets up as he pushes Cena down the fans cheer like crazy as we see Hogan posing at the down Cena.
Jim Ross: Look at the crowd cheer for Hulk Hogan!
Jerry Lawler: He is so over right now JR
Cena gets up shaking off the power of Hogan and they begin to circle around each other as they lock up again this time Cena goes and he goes and he gets Hogan into a headlock, the fans are split in the reaction as Hogan goes and he throws Cena off of him, and Cena bounces off the ropes, and he hits a shoulder right onto Hogan, and Hogan gets up as Cena grabs Hogan and hits a head and arm slam onto Hogan locking in a head lock onto Hogan as they are down on the mat. Hogan though slams his hand of the mat hard building his base up as Cena is having trouble holding the move. Hogan is up now, and he lifts Cena hitting a back suplex onto him. Hogan goes as he goes for the cover onto Cena.
1..
No Cena kicks out at one as the moves was not enough to put Cena away. Cena is getting up as Hogan hits him with a stiff right into the face, and Cena bounces from it, and Hogan hits it again. Hogan goes and he hits it again, and again until Cena is backed up into the turnbuckle. Hogan goes and he begins to pose leading to the fans to cheer, as Hogan goes and he goes to the opposite end of Cena. Hogan goes charging at Cena but Cena moves out of the way, and Hogan bounces off the turnbuckle and Cena runs at him hitting a running bulldog on him. Cena goes and he flips over Hogan and goes for the cover.
1…
No Hogan kicks out at one
Jim Ross: These two are the best in the game, small moves won’t finish them off
Jerry Lawler: Yep JR you will need a mack truck to take these twomen down
Cena goes and he picks up Hogan, and he throws him right into the turnbuckle, the fans give a mix reaction as Cena starts to land combos on Hogan in the corner. Cena goes and he sees that Hogan is reeling, and then he grabs the head and hits a fisherman suplex onto Hogan. Cena goes as he goes and he heads to the top turnbuckle. Cena is measuring Hogan and Hogan is getting up and he is bending down when Cena goes and he hits the diving fameasser onto Hogan . Cena goes and he rolls Hogan over going for the cover.
1…
2….
No Hogan kicks out. Cena gets up and he looks like he is measuring the Hulkster up for the trademark FU. Hogan is getting up and Cena lifts him onto his shoulders, and has him up, but Hogan slides off of him and pushes Cena away. Cena quickly turns around and charges at Hogan but is met with a kick to the chest. Hogan goes, and puts Cena’s head right in between his crotch area, and with all his might hits Cena with a huge powerbomb. Hogan goes for the cover.
1…
2…
No Cena kicks out. Hogan goes on and he gets mad at the referee asking him: “What is that BS” the referee is telling Hogan only two, and Hogan is just mad at him not really listening to what he is saying what so ever. Hogan goes and he picks up Cena and he goes as he hits another stiff right onto him. Cena is laying on the ropes, and Hogan goes as he clothesline Cena out of the ring. The fans give a cheer as Hogan is posing in the ring, and Cena is recovering on the outside.
Jim Ross: Hogan really took the advantage here in this match so far.
Jerry Lawler: Cena better recover quick or he might fall over here.
Cena is getting up as the referee is making a ten count it is not a factor right now as Cena rolls in the ring and he sees Hogan standing there flaunting in all his glory. Cena gets up and Hogan charges at him. Cena though ducks under the clothesline by Hogan and goes running on his own, this causes Cena to bounce off the ropes, and hit a flying shoulder shove right onto the hulkster, Cena does it again as we see almost the same process of moves. Hogan then gets up to strike Cena, but Cena ducks turns around him and hits the spinout powerbomb. The fans give a mix reaction as Cena raises his hands up high in the sky. The fans go as they are just going crazy right now as Cena does the trademark you can’t see me. Cena goes and he bounces off the ropes hitting a five knuckle shuffle. Cena then gets up and he is in a big posture. Cena is measuring Hogan up and Hogan gets up all of a sudden Cena hits a quick FU onto Hogan as the fans are going banana’s Cena goes for the pin.
1…
2…
3.
No Hogan kicks out!
Jim Ross: Bah Gawd the Hulkster kicked out of the FU!
Cena is in disbelief as Hogan kicked out of the move that has finished many others. Cena goes and he gets up as he awaits for Hogan to get up this time, the fans are giving a mix reaction when Hogan gets up, and Cena has Hogan on his shoulders. Hogan though this time slides off, and he turns Cena around hitting Cena towards the referee knocking him down.
Jim Ross: Oh no the referee got knocked down.
Jerry Lawler: Look like Hogan did that on purpose JR.
Hogan goes and he charges at Cena, but Cena goes and he trips Hogan locking him in the STFU, the fans start to give a mix reaction like crazy as Hogan is in the STFU Hogan is tapping out, but the referee is not even there he is down.
Jim Ross: Damn the referee down, and Hogan is tapping.
Jerry Lawler: I am telling you JR I think Hogan bumped the referee on purpose earlier.
Cena gets up as he is trying to force the referee to get up, Hogan is down in pain, but we can see Hogan getting up, but scrunched down. Hogan goes and he starts to take off his belt from his tights. Cena is still trying to wake up the referee. All of a sudden Cena goes down as Hogan whips him with his own belt. The fans boo all of a sudden as Hogan starts to whip the down Cena with the belt hard. Hogan all of a sudden raises his belt up high and points where it says Hulkamania and says: “All about me”
Jim Ross: That dirty snake Hogan
Jerry Lawler: See I told you JR!
Cena all of a sudden does get hit again by the belt, and all of a sudden Hogan goes and grabs the leg of Cena, and Hogan goes as he puts the belt around the throat. Hogan locks in the STFU on Cena as Cena is being choked out by Hogan there as Hogan goes and he lays on top of Cena and has the move on there for a while until Cena is out. Cena is lying there as Hogan flips him over, and starts to whip his hulkamania belt around and the fans boo at Hogan for acting all cocky. Hogan goes and he throws his belt and he bounces off the ropes hitting the atomic leg drop right onto John Cena, Hogan goes as he tries to wake up the referee, and the referee is barely moving. Hogan goes and it seems like he is laying on Cena for a while, until the referee slowly makes the count.
1…
2…
3.
No Cena kicked out
Jim Ross: YES! Cena kicked out!
Fans cheer like crazy for Cena kicking out of the move, and Hogan can’t believe it. Hogan all of a sudden does a you can’t see me taunt as he gets in a position that John Cena normally does for the FU. The fans boo at Hogan being so cocky during this match as Hogan is just taunting at this point as Cena is getting up, and Hogan lifts Cena in the FU position the fans boo as Hogan looks to hit the FU onto John Cena, when all of a sudden Cena slides off of Hogan. Cena goes and he turns Hogan around hitting the FU onto him the fans cheer like crazy as Cena goes for the cover.
1…
2…
3…
Justin Roberts: Here is your winner and NEW TRANSATLANTIC CHAMPION JOHHHNNNN CEEEEENNNAAAA
Jim Ross: JOHN CENA HAS DONE IT!
Jerry Lawler: What a match JR, but still can’t believe Hogan here tonight.
Cena goes as he gets the belt handed to him as he raises it high in the sky, and the fans cheer like crazy for him, we see an image of Hogan sitting up, not believing what happened. Cena goes and he turns to Hogan, and he offers a handshake, Hogan is getting up and he looks on at Cena as the fans cheer and Cena is looking to share respect with Hogan, but as it looks like Hogan is going to shake hands with Cena, Hogan goes and he lowblows Cena right down there as the fans boo like crazy, and Hogan looks down at Cena as they boo like crazy
Jim Ross: Damn it the Hogan!
Jerry Lawler: Cena was just trying to show respect
Cena is down as Hogan goes and he picks up the transatlantic championship, and he points at it acting like it will be his soon enough, Hogan goes and he throws it on Cena as he goes and he walks out as the Slammys fade away.
We are directed back to the Slammy podium as host David Arquette is standing by.
David Arquette: Alright! It's time, It's time, It's the moment we've all been waiting for. It's time to see just who wins the coveted Slammy for "Superstar of the Year." To present this award, who better than the chairman of the board? Ladies and gentlemen.....Mr. Vince McMahon!
NO CHANCE!
"No Chance In Hell" begins to play and the UWF Chairman Vincent Kennedy McMahon struts out from the back to a great applause. He shakes Arquette's hand and takes his place at the podium.
Vince McMahon: The time has come to decide just who takes home the first-ever UWF Superstar of the Year Slammy award. Lots of superstars have come and go but these 5 men have achieved success here in the UWF, some amid controversey, some have sacrificed mental health in the pursuit of success. Some have put their stamp in the pages of the record books. Some have achieved success despite obstacles being thrown in their way and some have just plain not given a damn! Regardless, These 5 superstars have solidified a spot in UWF history. The nominees for Superstar of the Year are.....
Vince McMahon: And the winner and Superstar of the Year.......
Vince tears into the envelope and reads it. He has to do a double take but reads it out loud.
Vince McMahon: Daniel Bryan!!!
Instead of Daniel Bryan, Dean Ambrose comes out which has the crowd enraged. Ambrose has a smile on his face as he looks at Vince who seems wary of what's about to happen. Ambrose calmly walks over to Vince and grabs the slammy out of his hand.
Dean Ambrose: Well looks who's here. I don't know if you managed to catch my little speech earlier but I discussed at length about how the higher ups of this company have tried to keep me down. Whether it was Shane trying to make sure I stayed at the bottom in the beginning of my career, or your delusional daughter raising an army to take me down and keep me out of the world title picture. Now I'm sure those orders had to have come from someone. Someone who has the most power and stock in the company. Someone who needs a clean cut champion to represent their company. The last thing you'd want is for a guy like me to be on all your posters and go on day time talk shows to promote whatever crappy house show we'll be at that night but tell me something Vince, now that I'm here standing in front of you, what are you going to do about it?
Vince looks at Ambrose with a shocked look on his face as he clearly doesn't want anything to do with Ambrose nor cause any harm to himself. Ambrose however just stands there with his arms out, taunting him. Vince does nothing as Ambrose drops his hands chuckling.
Dean Ambrose: That's what I thought. That's why I fight in that ring while you wear a suit in some office. I have half a mind to just take you out right now and never have to deal with you ever again.
Ambrose takes a step towards Vince as he backs away and quickly begins to speak.
Vince McMahon: No wait! Just one second...
Vince pulls out a his check book from his pocket inside his blazer. He quickly writes a check and offers it to Ambrose.
Vince McMahon: That right there is 50,000 dollars. Consider it a bonus for winning the Royal Rumble and you'll get an additional 50 if you win at WrestleMania. But that's only if I'm healthy enough to be there.
Ambrose laughs and takes the check out of his hand. He looks at it before pulling a lighter from his pocket and lights it, raising it in front of his face, taunting Mr. McMahon.
Dean Ambrose: You think I care about money? Do I look like a man who wants a mansion or some fancy sports car. I should be paying you for letting me beat up whoever the hell I want. This isn't about money. I'm here to cause a little destruction. Overthrow the power balance in this company. I'm taking control of this company now and it's going to be survival of the fittest. No amount of money will be able to save you when I take control, so I'd suggest to start getting used to it.
Ambrose turns his back on Vince and motions for him to beat it which Vince gladly does. Ambrose stands in front of the dais and addresses the crowd as they are all raining down their hate.
Dean Ambrose: Daniel Bryan. Superstar of the year? For what? Finally achieving his dream only to fail shortly after. I was the World Heavyweight Champion 3 times this year. I was in one of the main events of WrestleMania and will main event this years as well. And I happened to destroy everyone who stood up to me in between. So I'll gladly accept this award on Daniel Bryan's behalf because he doesn't deserve it. I'll melt down this award, pawn it, and then burn the money they gave me. Then it'll be just as relevant as Daniel Bryan is right now. I'm out-y 5000......
Ambrose laughs as the crowd is booing like hell at him but he doesn't care as he shrugs them off and walks to the back.
'The theme song of Bad News Barrett begins to hit as the commentators have no idea what to expect, the titantron shows up with a #BNB text. Soon Bad News Barrett comes out to the stage towards the Slammy podium where there's a slammy award sitting on the podium. It doesn't take long for Bad News Barrett to take the microphone and begin speaking to the audience who deliver jeers.
Wade Barrett: Ladies and Gentlemen, may I please have you attention for one moment. My name is Bad News Barrett and tonight we have something that is deemed prestigious to the many UWF superstars here. The many unfortunate no-names are out in the back in hopeful they win some sort of award in hope that they are still relevant; but we are delivering awards from the past year. Now there's been some highlights and some lowlights but I, Bad News Barrett tonight would like to present an award for the people of UWF for being the most ungrateful bastards I've ever came across in my entire life! An absolute travesty happened in 2013, that being the UWF Restart. Who would have thought a company with a billion dollars could go so wrong? Who would have thought that majority of the ingrates of this company would win awards? Quite frankly, this Slammy Awards means a lot to all of you... but I'm afraid I've got some BAD NEWS!
The crowd boo's as heavy as they can, Barrett walks away from the Slammy podium towards the edge of the stage where we see a #BNB podium, Barrett goes towards that as it lifts up to a height where everyone has to look up.
Wade Barrett: The bad news is these slammy awards are far from prestigious and the company is going extremely broke. These are not real trophies at all, they're just from the $2 store down the road. Do you not realize what a joke all of this is? The categories given, one being LOL Moment of the year. Well as far as I am concerned, I did not find anything funny in UWF; if there was ever a moment where you ungrateful bastards thought it was funny... I was at home watching on the telly with my palm over my face showing how disgusted I was. Comedy should not be recommended here whatsoever, there are many people trying to entertain and delight. But the good news is, I am here to remove all comedy because you people do not deserve to laugh at all. You people deserve to sit down and shut your trap because this is a Wrestling Federation. This isn't the Comedy Channel, you could always tune in but here on the UWF Network we have wrestling... Well, not when we have this award given out. But that's not all, far from all in fact... The GM of the year, are you kidding me? Have you even seen what happened last year? Perhaps the award should be given to a man known as Vince Russo. Just like the host of the Slammy Awards tonight, David Arquette... There is a lowlight in wrestling, perhaps it goes down in history as the worst thing to have ever happened in the wrestling business.
Mind you, I have absolutely no clue who's writing this sort of nonsense but I am going to find out who the creative head writer is and yes... I've got some BAD NEWS for you. I'm going to exploit you and ridicule you until you start realizing what an absolute joke you've made over the year. Who in the rightful mind thought it'd be perfectly okay for Vince Russo to even run a brand? The good news is he's no longer running a brand and most likely won't be seen ever again. Just wait, there's more good news... If I was to run a brand, I can guarantee you that I would run it better than Vince Russo ever did. But mind you, there is never a General Manager who is deemed as the best. I've yet to see someone happy with the General Manager situation, perhaps the board should be giving out a review. However tonight we will see many more awards being given out, like Superstar of the Year... To win an award like that is deemed prestigious do I recall myself correct? Well, you're absolutely correct however I have some BAD NEWS for the Superstar of the year. While you will be crowned as Superstar of the Year for 2013; you must come to terms that this is now 2014 and you're now a has-been. These awards were for last year, therefore they do not mean a thing at all. These are all for the past, the present is me speaking delivering some good and bad news... but the future is clear and bright. It is I, Bad News Barrett as your Superstar of the Year 2014. So without further ado, I will be taking this Slammy Award home because quite frankly you won't be needing it anymore. As a matter of fact, I believe the Slammy Awards should be concluded!
The crowd boo's even more, Barrett begins using the gavel as he bangs it loudly.
The crowd still booing extremely hard which has allowed Barrett to stop speaking for a moment but soon he continues on.
Wade Barrett: Ha-ha-ha-ha... Don't you all worry, these awards are nonsense! Hey David, yes you Mr. Arquette... I think we can give you an award. Don't you worry this one's better than your WCW reign that you had. Even that deserves an Oh My God award. But Mr. Arquette gets one for being here tonight, you simply should have stayed home. I'm surprised you would even show your face around here. But I suppose you could also win Shocking Moment of the Year... But it's quite unfortunate we're speaking about 2013. The entire year was shocking as a whole and that's simply because I wasn't here!
Wade Barrett: Well, I'm afraid I've got some more BAD NEWS! The fact is, I've had enough of speaking to all you obese pricks. You see, you spent my entire speech here tonight shoveling junk food down your fat gullets, and clogging your arteries, so much so, the most of you won't be able to see who won Match of the Year award. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! It's just unfortunate I'm stuck here with a bunch of hillbillies tonight, but alas... I am leaving now to get myself out of this town as quick as possible before the stupidity that this entire state radiates washes over me. Thank you very much!
The #BNB stamp comes up onto the screen as we go elsewhere.
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The official poster girl of SBS! No lie go ask him.
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We are directed back to the Slammy podium where host David Arquette is standing by with another award to give out.
David Arquette: Oww! Aye-yah-yah-yah-yah-yeeee! I'm just so pumped right now to be introducing my favorite award category of the night, Match of the Year! Now, I know what you might be thinking, No, none of my stellar classic matches are nominated in this category, mainly because they took place over 10 years ago but, that's the only reason why, otherwise they'd win!
The crowd is continuing their booing ways for Arquette. David just shrugs them off.
David Arquette: Without further adieu, please welcome the presenter of Match of the Year, "The Best There Is, The Best There Was and The Best There Ever Will Be", Bret "Hitman" Hart!
The crowd comes unglued as the living legend Bret "Hitman" Hart's music begins to play over the Pa system. After a few bars of music, Bret emerges from the back and walks to the podium. He walks right past Arquette to the microphone and begins speaking.
Bret Hart: You know, this category, in my opinion, is the most important of all of them because, without great matches, this business doesn't exist. The true embodiment of a great professional wrestler is the ability to tell a story inside that ring from bell to bell and, in this category, we have several individuals who are great at doing just that, going above and beyond, not just settling for "4/10" performances. Here are the nominees for Match of the Year!
- AJ Styles vs. Daniel Bryan(c) for the WHC (UWF Bound for Glory 2013)
- Dean Ambrose vs. Cody Rhodes (UWF SummerSlam)
- Dean Ambrose and Daniel Bryan vs. Y.E.S. in a Hell in a Cell match (UWF Lockdown 2013)
- Fandango(c) vs. The Rock for the International Championship (UWF SummerSlam 2013)
- John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels(c) vs. Daniel Bryan for the WHC (UWF SummerSlam 2013)
Bret Hart: And the winner is......
Bret opens the envelope and reads the winner off.
Bret Hart: Cody Rhodes vs. Dean Ambrose at UWF SummerSlam!
Whoa Oh
The all too familiar "Whoa oh" hits and Bret Hart turns around to face the curtain, as the music plays for a bit making the crowd rustle and a stagehand to crawl up on the stage and tell Bret something seemingly asking him to come with him when the crowd come alive with boos. As Cody Rhodes has finally come through the curtain with a big smile across his face.
Cody locks eyes with Bret and chuckles as he walks up to him, Hart isn't sure what to make of him. Cody steps face to face with him before he looks down at the stage hand, he waves his hand shooing him off and the crew member hops off the stage, Cody smirks at Hart and extends a hand. Bret hands him the trophy, and Cody takes a step to one side in his arrogant way giving Bret room to leave. Bret does so as Cody walks up to the podium and looks at the Slammy for a few seconds before he finally speaks.
Cody Rhodes:
What do you think of my new suit? After the Royal Rumble, and after the...horrible things that happened to my person I had a lot of work to do to retain my...Dashing...Good looks. And I decided to treat myself, just in time too because I'm here to accept an award. Match of the Year, you know Dean-o was a focus of mine for a long time when he started throwing my name around and when people started forgetting about Cody Rhodes once he was on Raw. And after that planning, that time, that hardship, it's nice to be rewarded for it. So I would like to thank Dean for being another victim...
Cody looks down at the award for another second before looking up
I'd also like to thank my long lost father, whom I've not heard from since he had a terrible accident. Stephanie McMahon for being the only person I could trust in the offices, and last but not least...Cody Rhodes. Because without me keeping people on their toes around here, this big dark joke known as life wouldn't have that punchline it needs to keep things exciting.
Rhodes starts staring down at the trophy, lingering a little before he looks behind him as if seeing through the tron and curtain to the back. Getting a smirk on his face as if getting an idea in his head.
I've forgotten what holding gold felt like... You know the other guys might not appreciate this as much as I do considering they don't even like this place but Dashing Cody Rhodes is here to give you all a Dashing Tip like I used to oh so long ago. No matter what you look like, your smile is always...Dashing...when reflected off gold.
Whoa Oh
Codys theme hits again, the sound of it making him crack his neck to the side his smile fading away as he looks down at the trophy in disgust, he holds it down to his side and snarls before turning and leaving back through the curtain.
(The camera pans to the backstage area with Josh Matthews)
Josh Matthews: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm being joined by a very special guest... his name, is Dolph Ziggler.
(Dolph enters)
Josh: How're you doing, Dolph?
Dolph Ziggler: I'm not bad, Josh. Doing pretty good.
Josh: That's great, now as everyone knows we haven't seen you for a while, three months to be exact. What have you been up to, where have you been?
Dolph: Well Josh, there comes a time in every man's life where he has to do a little bit of soul searching, and that's exactly what I've been doing. Over the past three months, I've been traveling all over this world, not to wrestle, but... to find something. Now, I didn't know exactly what I was looking for, but whatever it was, I knew that I had to find it, and to be honest with you... I think I did. I'm at a point in my life now where I can talk to everyone about this, something I never thought I'd be able to do before.
For... my entire life Josh, I've been... different. In high school I joined the football team to fit it, I mean, if you were on the football team, you were treated like royalty. Teachers went easier on you, everyone wanted to be your friend, and the girls... well... who doesn't like an athlete, right?
But I wasn't happy, why? Because I wasn't being me. I wasn't being true to myself. What I can say now that I couldn't say back then, was that I always wanted to be a cheerleader... That's all I ever wanted, but I was too scared to do anything about it. Too scared to tell anyone my real passion. As many people know when I became a professional wrestler, I finally got to live out that dream, and me and the guys had the time of our lives. Wrestling legends like DX, and John Cena, hell, even Ric Flair. But eventually I saw all my friends leave.. each and every member of the Spirit Squad. One by one they quit, or got fired, or lost their passion for this business, and once they left, I knew I had to change.
I couldn't be me, I couldn't run around in a leotard all by myself. I knew the ridicule I'd get backstage. So I changed, I grew my hair, I became more intense, I became someone I didn't even recognize, and I resented myself for that. That's why I left for the past three months, that why I took some time off, but guess what Josh, I'm back now... and I'm finally able to let go of what was holding me back all these years, I'm finally able to... well... show the world who I really am...
Josh Matthews, my name is Dolph Ziggler, and I am a homosexual..."
(Dolph slowly walks off)
We come back from a segment to find Slammy Award host David Arquette but, only this time, he's dressed in a ridiculous outfit and wearing sunglasses. He looks out towards the boo-ing audience with disdain as he addresses them.
David Arquette: This next award......I'm not going to present. Do you know why? The award is GM of the Year and, by the looks of the nominees, we have a clear cut obvious winner in my pal Vince Russo but nooooooo! You know, I have done nothing but come out here and host your "precious" little Slammy Awards, and I have done a pretty damn good job at it, too. I mean, you people are lucky to even have me here. I'm a Hollywood A-List Star. I was the star player in the "Scream" series for God's sake. I don't need the UWF to prove I'm great. I'm a former WCW World Heavyweight Champion!
This sets the crowd off even more and the boos get even louder. Arquette then takes off his sunglasses and throws them to the ground in anger.
David Arquette: Yeah, that's right, I'm a former WCW Champion, something you will never achieve. And, being the former World champion that I am, I issue a challenge to a certain "Viper" in the back who just so happened to win GM of the Year. Bland-Y Bore-Ton, get down to the ring because I'm gonna open up a fresh can of whoop ass on ya, Jimmy King Style! Yeah!
Arquette then marches himself down towards the ring.
JR: This can't end well for our Slammy host, King!
The King: Thank God all the awards have been presented.
Arquette makes it to the ring and slides into the ring and looks out towards the stage and waits. He doesn't have to wait long.....
I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD!
The crowd explodes as RAW General Manager Randy Orton comes walking through the curtain in his wrestling attire and heading towards the ring with a crazy look in his eyes.
The King: Uh-Oh! David Arquette, you better run!
JR: I don't even think that can help him, King!
Orton walks up the steel steps, almost stalking Arquette. David is still standing tall in the ring as Orton enters. The RAW GM stands face to face with Arquette as the Slammy Awards hist starts talking smack to him. All of a sudden, Orton kicks Arquette in the midsection.
Arquette goes down and Orton begins stomping on hm repeatedly. The crowd is loving this as an "RKO! RKO! RKO!" chant breaks out in the arena. Orton then picks Arquette up before hitting him with an uppercut and knocking him back down again. Orton then falls to the mat and stalks Arquette. It takes him a while but Arquette eventually gets to his feet. As he turns around, Orton hits him with an RKO!
JR: RKO! BAH GAWD!
The King: Thanks for coming, David Arquette!
Orton's not through as he slides out of the ring, snake-like and flips up the ring apron. He then drags out a table and tosses it into the ring.
JR: Oh no, King!
The King: Ok, Randy, you've proved your point!
Orton slides back in and sets the table up. Orton grabs Arquette by the hair and drags him up. He then sets him up for a powerbomb. With ease, Orton lifts the former WCW Champion up and slams him down hard through the table!
JR: GOOD GAWD!
The King: AHHHHH! *King Scream*
The crowd is going absolutely crazy as Orton paces around the ring, as if he had gone off the deep end for a second. EMT's and backstage agents rush into the ring to check on the condition of Arquette. They then load him up onto a stretcher as Orton leaves ringside with a smile on his face. We then fade to commercial as Arquette gets carried out, all the while the crowd sings "NA NA NA NA, NA NA NA NA, HEY HEY HEY, GOODBYE!"
---------------------------------------------------
UWF's CM Punk is here, but WWE's CM Punk is still MIA. Come back Punk!!
---------------------------------------------------
The crowd erupts as the World Heavyweight Champion comes out from the back. HBK comes out alone without, Ric Flair. HBK looks to the crowd with a huge smile on his face as he twirls around with the World Title in his right hand in the air. HBK then poses as his pyro goes off
[URL='http://s217.photobucket.com/user/THEKING619/media/hbk1_zpsde218e40.jpg.html']
HBK gets back to his feet and heads to the ring while slapping hands with fans on each side in the front row. As HBK gets to ringside he walks up the steps and does a little dance while on the apron. As he gets in the ring he twirls around some more with the World Title now in his left hand.
HBK then heads to the closest corner and climbs to the middle turnbuckle and holds the World Title up high and then places it on his right shoulder as he claps at the fans as a sign of respect. HBK then gets off the apron and is handed a microphone from an outside official. As HBK music stops, the crowd begins a huge "HBK" chant
HBK: Alright, y'all really know how to get a guy to blush out here.
HBK smiles as the crowd keeps cheering him on
HBK: Now before I continue on, Natch is out doing some PR work for WrestleMania and will not be here tonight. And well speaking of WrestleMania.......
The crowd cheers as HBK points to the WrestleMania sign and his World Title
HBK: As a look to what is on my right shoulder, I think it's pretty clear that the show stoppa is still the World Champion and the road to WrestleMania will be going through the World Heavyweight Champion!
Once again the crowd bursts into cheers
HBK: Now there were a lot of people in the back that doubted I would walk away still the World Champion. And I am out here to thank them personally for doubting the Heart Break Kid. I have exceeded all expectations throughout my career and I keep on doing it my old age. But age is just a number and I feel I am still in the prime of my career at almost fifty years old. Holding this World Title shows the doubt that many have put before me. I mean there were those who even wanted me to lose. They thought because of how long I have been in this business that I am taking away from the younger generation. Well my response to that is, if they really wanted this then they would have taken it from me. But, Tyson Kidd, wasn't man enough to stand up to the challenge that was, Shawn Michaels.
HBK looks into the crowd and sees a few "HBK Champion" signs
HBK: Now I could come out here and brag to all of you about how great it is to still be the World Champion. And will do that because it is pretty awesome to still be the WORLD CHAMPION. We were in one of the loudest arena's I have ever been in. That's why I am proud to call it my home of San Antonio, Texas. My friends and family as well as the UWF Universe was rocking the house Sunday at the Rumble and my performance that night was dedicated to each and every single one of you because without all of you the thrill may not be there to keep on going. I have been blessed to still perform at the level I was in my prime and that's on top of the mountain. And I will continue to keep this going on for a very long time and this title is staying with yours truly, HBK, Shawn Michaels for a long time. So boys in the back, y'all better get used to it!
HBK smiles as the crowd cheers him on and start up an "HBK" chant
HBK: However, the one thing I will not come out and say is how easy of a victory it was. I won't come out here and lie to all of you that the match with, Kidd, was a wash because it wasn't. I worked hard to stay with the young buck, but I managed to to remain World Champion. Like I told, Kidd, one second is all that matters. One little mistake and it's all over for you. And I was right once again. I caught him with his biggest mistake of his career that cost him this World Title. I think it was, Roddy Piper who said it best "why did Kidd attempt a move from the top". That now is in the past for, Kidd. He showed that he was not ready to hold this title. Maybe one day he'll get there, but it won't be while I am still in the business.
HBK lowers his microphone for a second to collect his thoughts before speaking again
HBK: I came to the arena tonight with a victory speech in mind and ready to talk about my next potential challenge in the 2014 Royal Rumble winner, Dean Ambrose, but once I got here, I was told that, Kidd challenged myself and Hunter to a tag team match at Unforgiven. I'm done with and tired of, Kidd. The way I see it, he had two chances at this World Title and he should be at the bottom of the pecking order with the others that have tried to break the career of, Shawn Michaels. But if the boy wants another his teeth knocked out again then that's on him then. So basically what I'm saying is if, Tyson wants the match with D-Generation X, then you already have one half agreeing to it.
The crowd starts up a loud "DX" chant
HBK: Now, Hunter and I haven't been on the best terms as of late. I wasn't happy with him getting involved in my feud with, Kidd and adding himself as the special referee at the Rumble. But, Hunter did what he said he would do and called the match down the line. And now that the Rumble is behind us, Kidd has nothing he can say to, Hunter about the matter since there was no "screw job" on that night. So I am out here to call you out, Hunter and let's give these fans what they want. Let's give them the greatest tag team of all time. Let's give them, D-Generation X one last time. I know you're all about business now, but that feeling of getting in the ring has to be itching at you. You and I both know how good it would feel to pedigree, Kidd and giving that boy a lesson he'll never forget.
The crowd now starts up a "Triple H" chant and then a "YES" chant
HBK: Kidd wanted to put you out of business. He wanted to end your chances at owning all of this. He wanted to destroy your legacy just like he wanted to do so to mine. He wanted to take jobs away from all of us. Now is your chance to give him an ass kicking like only DX can. We want the cerebral assassin back for one night. It's only one night, Hunter, what do you say?
Minutes pass after HBK lowers his microphone and no sign of, Triple H. As HBK goes to go back on the microphone, Triple H's music plays
The crowd explode into cheers as the music of the COO hits the PA System and it isn't long before the man himself comes out from the back dressed in one of his million dollar suits. Hunter looks unsettled by all of this talk about him stepping back into the ring one more time. He steps into the ring and Triple H does not look his usual cocky and in control self. He steps into the ring and heads over to the World Champion. Hunter puts his hand out for a handshake and HBK grabs it before the two men embrace in a hug. Hunter nods his head to ringside as Justin Roberts hands him a microphone. He turns towards the World Champion and begins to speak.
Triple H: I don't know Shawn. I just don't know. All this talk about one more match, it...
Hunter is paused in his tracks by the sold out Dallas crowd who begin chanting "One more match! One more match!" Hunter looks around as HBK points at the crowd telling Hunter he has to miss this feeling.
Triple H: While I appreciate all of this attention and I appreciate the fact you still think I have it Shawn, I have to be a businessman first because that is what I am. Its why I didn't put my hands on that punk at the Royal Rumble and called the match right down the middle, because doing otherwise would not have been good for business. And me putting on those tights one last time and becoming a wrestler, even just for one match, well it isn't good for business either.
The crowd begin to boo with their displeasure at Triple H's words before once again the crowd gets loud and begins chanting DX, DX, DX! HBK smiles as Hunter just looks heartbroken.
Triple H: Shawn, I tried the whole competing as a superstar while owning this company, and it didn't work out. Sure I earned myself a UWF Championship shot, but the product as a whole fell into the toilet, one this company has only recently bounced back from. Plus my predecessors in this job, we all know what they did, and truthfully I don't want my legacy to follow in those footsteps. And as for having something left to prove, I've got nothing to prove. I've done everything I've wanted to do, and as much as I would love to beat the respect back into Tyson Kidd, the fact of the matter is you and I both know I couldn't just stop at one. I'd have a hell of a lot of shoveling to do if that were the case.
HHH prepares to dismiss the match entirely as HBK throws up his hand and begins to speak.
HBK: HOHOHO Hold on! Who the hell are you and what have you done with my best friend!? I'm out here looking for the man who goes by the monikers of the Game, or the King of Kings, who's won World Titles in every promotion he's ever been in. I don't know who this guy in the suit is, but I'm talking about a fellow degenerate, a man who broke the rules just because he was tired of "the man" telling him what to do. A man who wasn't afraid of any thing much less stepping back into the ring because he was afraid he couldn't cut it anymore. Well look at me, I'm the World Champion, at my age I should be setting myself up for the retirement home, but I'm not, because I'm not afraid of not being able to hack it. And my best friend he wouldn't be either. So who's it going to be Hunter, who are you going to be? You talk about your legacy, well you don't step into this ring at Unforgiven with me, your only legacy is going to be the fact you let the fans down, you let me down, and most importantly you let yourself down. We're not asking for you to come back and bury the whole roster we are just asking one more time, one more match!
The crowd explode into cheers getting behind the words of the World Heavyweight Champion. "One more match! One more match! One more Match!" Hunter doesn't know what to do or what to say, HBK patiently waits for an answer when suddenly.
???: Oh this is fabulous! This is heartwarming!
The crowd begin to boo loudly as they realize it is Tyson Kidd who is out here to clearly add fuel to the fire. The brash former number one contender keeps talking even over the boos.
Tyson Kidd: The nostalgia in that ring is making all of these fans fail to realize it isn't the past but the future they need to be looking towards. A future that will be headlined by me Tyson Kidd. And boy oh boy when I challenged DX earlier in the night, I never expected it would actually happen. Hell, Shawn I've beaten you to an inch of your life twice now and can guarantee you the third time will be the charm. And then of course there is you Hunter. Never in a million years would I have thought you would have gone yellow, but hey, this isn't something I didn't already know. I mean why would you want to take on the breakout star of the year. Here Hunter, I'll do you a favor.
Tyson Kidd reaches into his suit jacket and pulls out the contract he had signed just days before the Royal Rumble match. He takes the contract and rips it into two and three pieces.
Tyson Kidd: There Hunter, now I'm not going to sue you, no way. I'm going to beat your ass at Unforgiven and embarrass you and the World Champion on the Road to Wrestlemania. I mean when my partner for this match came to me and gave me the idea, I realized there was nothing better then humiliating you and outshining you in your own element. So I'd like to take the time to thank that man, the man who will be teaming with me at Unforgiven, the Rated R Superstar Edge!
The crowd roars in disapproval as Edge makes his way out from the back with a huge smile on his face. HBK looks at Hunter as Triple H's face just drops. HBK begins trying to tell him something as Kidd hands Edge the mic.
Edge: Hello there Fellas! Remember me, the guy Hunter chickened out on at Survivor Series. Now don't get me wrong I don't blame you, hell I wouldn't want to face me either. But I have to admit it left a bad taste in my mouth. Especially when I go on to lose my UWF Championship a week later because I don't have time to properly prepare. But hey, its only a matter of time before I get that back. I mean I already wrapped up my first problem in Steve Boring, and now I get to wrap up my second loose end before going after what's mine once again! That loose end is you Hunter. I never got to properly embarrass at Survivor Series, well I'm going to make that up here with my fellow Canadian, and when I beat you I also beat the World Champion, that's a bonus. Then that stupid Rattlesnake will have no choice but to give me my rematch at Wrestlemania!
The crowd is really letting Edge and Kidd have it, the unusual tag team that both have one thing in common their hatred of Triple H. HBK turns to Hunter and speaks.
HBK: I don't know about you, but that sounds like a challenge to me. Well as the World Champion I can speak for myself and say you got it!
The crowd explode as HBK has accepted the terms of the match. He turns and everyone turns to HHH who looks calm and collected at long last. He puts his hand on Shawn's shoulder and nods his head.
HHH: Well who am I to ever back down from a challenge. You want one more match, you damn well got it! Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Degeneration X is back for one more match. And if either of you two clowns ain't down with that we got two words for you!
The crowd explode "Suck it!" before the music of Degeneration X begins to play. Edge and Kidd are smiling having goaded HHH into exactly what they wanted. Hunter just looks calm as HBK is excited to be tagging with his partner one more time. Triple H doesn't look so confident however.
JR: I don't believe it, HHH and Shawn Michaels have accepted the challenge for Unforgiven.
King: What a huge tag team match on the Road to Wrestlemania JR! I just hope Triple H knows what he is doing!
HBK raises Hunter's arm into the air and celebrates as the Slammy's heads to its final segment.
The titantron changes from the Royal Rumble graphic to a shot of backstage in the interim period between matches. Fans not filling up their soda pops or buying dat merchandise turn their attention towards the big screen to find Todd Grisham with UWF Smackdown's Brodie Lee.
Todd Grisham: Ladies and gentleman, I'm Todd Grisham, joined here tonight by one half of the T.I.O.C., Brodie Lee.
Brodie nods solemnly towards the camera. The giant of a man is still sporting several obvious injuries from his tag team title match from the Smackdown a week or so prior.
Grisham: Brodie, you're known to be a man of few words, so thank you for taking time to do this interview. Now, your team is not on the card tonight, and you've been out of action since your last match against Fandango and EC3. Obvioulsy you took quite a bit of damage in that tag team championship classic on Smackdown – how is your recovery coming, and after two consecutive losses to the champions, what does the future hold for the T.I.O.C.?
Brodie strokes his beard thoughtfully for a moment before speaking...
Brodie: Well Todd, the thing about the T.I.O.C. is...
Brodie has no time to finish his sentence or even react, however, as he is suddenly blind-sided by another huge man. Kevin Steen comes out of nowhere and nails Lee across the head with a tire iron. Lee, possibley still concussed, goes down hard and puts up no fight as Steen hits him again, and again, again, before finally dropping the weapon on the battered chest of the unconscious Lee. Grisham has since dropped the mic and fled, leaving it for Steen to grab and address the UWF audience.
Kevin Steen: Brodie... Brodie? I'm not sure if you can still hear me or anything else right now, but just in case there's still the slightest amount of brain activity buzzing around the thick, white trash skull of yours, let me tell you this -
The thing about the T.I.O.C. - is that you are a sad embarrassment. A blood-soaked, broken-boned, human tragedy – a pair of circus freaks waving the underdog flag while you take beating after beating for the mob to enjoy. Its disgusting, its disgraceful, and now its over. You're over. If this, uh, message, wasn't clear enough – if I ever see you walking around casting that big, bearded shadow of yours in the UWF again, I'm gonna finish this. You hear me Brodie? Go back to the trailer court truck stop, settle down with your cutest cousin, and stay the hell away from here.
Steen glares down at Steen one last time, spits on him, and then turns back to the camera.
Steen: Violence. Microphone. Camera. Live feed. What is power? What is control? What is really just an illusion? I could stand right here and talk for hours about how unfair it is that I didn't win the Rumble, or that I'm not booked tonight, or that this company generally just treats me like shit. I could turn back around and stomp on poor Brodie's skull 'till my foot finds the concrete beneath it. I could tell you all about all the amazing and terrible things I've ever done and you could lose your voices cheering me, or booing me, and keep wasting your money buying shirts with my face or some one else's face, melt your brains watching this same garbage week in and out... but maybe I'm starting to ramble here...
See I was sitting at home, just a few days ago, on the couch with my son beside me, my wife out running some errands. I've been at home a lot lately, and she says its a nice change... but me... well its driving me insane. Don't get me wrong, I love my family to death, and my kid, he's great, but... I mean, just listen. We're watching the Rumble, DVR'd it and on the TV the morning after I get home. My kid likes to watch the shows with me. My son, he loves it – his favourite, after me of course – is Shawn Michaels. He's always cheerin' for him, wants his action figure and to dress up like him and all that stuff. So when good ol' HBK beats Tyson Kidd to retain his belt, my boy is just eating it up. So me, I'm curious, and I ask him, I say “Hey buddy, why do you like Shawn Michaels so much”, and my kid, he just turns to me, smiles those few teeth he has and says “cause look Dad, he's the best”.
Now no, I'm not offended he didn't say he was the best “after me” cause, ya know, he's just a kid. I'm his father, that's more important, I know it. But I was rattled. Nah, I was pissed. I was furious. I turned that damn show off and took my kid to the library, hoping against hope it wasn't too late to save this child's brain from being sabotaged by this damn company a second longer, hoping he wouldn't turn into another mindless idiot, corporate slave like every else in this building tonight, hoping for something better. Shawn Michaels? His favourite? Not a fucking chance.
I've met Shawn Michaels. I've seen what he's like off camera. Shawn Michaels isn't a cowboy, he's not a sexy boy, he's not even a man. He's a snake, slithering around backstage, preying on the weak. He's a chicken hawk, at best, flying around, picking at old bones for scraps, dressing up like some damn eagle and actually convincing the world he's not just some washed up piece of shit. But this company, run by HBK's good friend, right? Yeah they just keep giving this jerk the limelight, giving him title shots whenever he needs 'em and – hey, you remember Starccade, right? Screwballing kids coming up who work their asses off and earn that gold out of what they deserve. I will never let my son cheer for Shawn Michaels. He's too young to understand just how despicable a human being can be... I know that, and that's helped me to realize something.
There are kids all around the world watching these shows, and this company manufactures heroes out of scum for them to cheer for. They put them on TV, polish 'em up real nice, whiten their teeth and and tell you to buy their shirts. They make hundreds of millions from tricking the idiot masses into idolizing the worst, most disgusting people you could ever find, and this massive fucking scam has been going on for years. Well not any more. No. I don't want my son to grow up and have to worry about this same crap with his kid. I won't let that happen.
So I'm here now, here tonight and around for however long this takes, to pull back the curtain and show each and every one of you just how fucked up this whole charade really is. I am going to tear down each and every false idol they've built - the ones you've so thoughtlessly worshipped. I will show you that men like Shawn Michaels do not deserve a single ounce of your affection. I will show you that pigs like HHH do not deserve your money. I will show you that psychopaths like Eddie Guerrero belong in an asylum. I will show you that people like Sami Callihan and Brodie Lee should never have to bleed, and get electrocuted and bitten by damn piranhas to get you to cheer for them. And that's where I'm starting, the very bottom.
So Sami Callihan, I've got your boy here out of the way so now you and I can talk face to face. I hope you're listening somewhere man. You and me, the re-debut of Velocity. We're going to have us a talk, and I'm going to help you figure this mess out. T.I.O.C.? Time to flush that shit brother. There's work to do.
Steen drops the mic and walks off screen.
Howard Finkel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the Ultimate Wrestling Federation Championship!
The fans cheer when all of a sudden the UWF Hardcore Champion AJ Styles comes out and he looks down at the ground, as the fans cheer and he has no reaction on his face when all of a sudden we hear these vocal
Get
Ready to
Fly!
AJ throws off his hood as the fans cheer like crazy as AJ Styles goes and he looks amped up and excited as he raises his arms up in the air getting the fans excited. AJ goes and he walks down the ramp and the fans cheer like crazy as AJ enters the ring.
JR: Here he is, ladies and genetlemen. The reigning and defending UWF Hardcore Champion AJ Styles has a chance at greatness here tonight!
The King: He was the lone survivor for SmackDown in the Royal Rumble match and that has earned him his title shot tonight. Let's see if he can make good use of it!
1,2, YOU HEAR THE CLOCK TICKING
TICK TOCK, YOUR ABOUT TO STOP LIVING,
TICK TOCK I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER ME,
TICK TOCK, BUT THE DAY DON'T HAVE NO MEMORY
I'M COMING.
The camera focuses on the stage where a big inflatable tunnel which can now be seen, presumably being inflated while the lights were flashing on and off. The crowd rise to their feet awaiting one certain special superstar as smoke starts to escape the tunnel. The crowd aren't waiting long as the figure of the UWF Champion bursts through the flaps. He stops dead, looking around the crowd who give him a big cheer. He pats his new bit of Bling Bling as the crowd go berzerk. He slowly lifts it in the air as his fireworks go off behind him.
MVP puts the belt back around his waist and then starts to slowly makes his way down to the ring, seeing all the fans leaning over the barriers for high fives and obliges, walking past and slapping the hands much to the delight of those said fans. After giving a few fans the high fives he holds up his '305' bling bling up to the camera, yelling 'Mr 305' towards the camera. He comes towards the bottom of the ramp, stopping for a second, taking out some gum he was chewing and throws it into the crowd before he takes a little run up and slides into the ring. He doesn't waste anytime getting to his feet, running towards the ropes, bouncing off and doing his signature dance and Ballin taunt at the end.
He holds the pose for a while, smiling cockily as he lowers his arms, pointing at his belt with the fans still giving him a good reaction.
JR: Montel Vontavious Porter. MVP. The man who did what no one else could do. The man who climbed "Mount Morgan" and lived to tell about it!
The King: Not only climbed it, JR. He toppled it and now he's UWF Champion once again.....but can it last?
DING!
DING!
DING!
The referee rings the bell and our main event is underway. AJ and Montel circle the ring across from one another. They then meet in the middle and lock up. MVP pushes AJ into the corner and the referee tries to separate the two. He's finally able and MVP backs up. AJ gathers himself and steps back towards the center. MVP sticks his hand out and offers AJ a test of strength. AJ and MVP lock hands and immediately MVP shows his superior strength and AJ drops to his knees as MVP applies pressure in the hold. As this is happening, AJ counters by hitting MVP with a monkey flip. AJ gets back up to his feet and screams for MVP to bring it.
JR: Two totally different styles being used here!
The King: These two, JR, are the pride and joy of Saturday nights and I'm glad they're getting their chance to shine here in the main event of the first-ever Slammys!
MVP gets back up but AJ is on the attack with some stiff kicks to the torso. After a few kicks, MVP catches AJ's leg on one and shoves him down to the mat. He then drops down on the leg, causing AJ great pain. MVP then starts applying pressure to his shin. Styles starts throwing punches at Montel's head, eventually causing him to break the hold. AJ is holding his leg as MVP gets up and blasts him in the face with a kick of his own. MVP then covers AJ.
1..
2..
KICK-OUT!!
JR: This isn't turning out to be a respectable wrestling match.
The King: SmackDown isn't about respect. It's about kicking ass.
MVP grabs Styles by the head and starts hammering away at him with right hands. The referee separates the two again and MVP backs up. As MVP comes back, Styles traps him in an inside cradle.
1..
2..
KICK-OUT!!
MVP escapes and rolls to his feet. AJ does the same and hits MVP with an armdrag. Both men get back up and, again, AJ hits MVP with an armdrag. This time, AJ applies pressure to his arm. AJ then starts hitting MVP in the neck with a few stiff elbows. AJ lets MVP go and picks him up to his feet. He sends Montel into the ropes but MVP ducks a clothesline attempt. As AJ turns around, MVP is there and levels AJ with a clothesline of his own. MVP then covers AJ.
1..
2..
KICK-OUT!!
JR: MVP with a look of frustration on his face.
The King: It's gonna take a lot more than a clothesline to put the Hardcore Champion AJ Styles down!
MVP goes to lift Styles back up to a vertical base but AJ springs back and begins throwing right hands at MVP, backing him up into the corner. AJ then irish whips MVP into the opposite corner and meets him there with a big corner dropkick. MVP falls into the corner and AJ uses this to his advantage. He starts stomping away at MVP before backing up a few feet. He then charges back and nails MVP with another dropkick. AJ then drags MVP back towards the center of the ring and calls for the Calf Killer.
JR: If AJ gets this locked in, we could see a new champion!
As AJ goes for it, MVP squirms out and rolls out of the ring. AJ looks down at him and screams “COME ON!” as MVP gathers himself on the outside.
The King: Smart strategy by the current champ!
MVP walks around the ringpost as AJ rolls out of the ring in pursuit. As AJ turns the corner, MVP hits him with a dropkick to the knees. AJ falls to one knee, allowing MVP a chance to hit him with the Drive-By Kick on the outside!
JR: Drive-By Kick! What a move! Now he's gotta roll him back in the ring!
The King: Easier said than done, JR!
MVP grabs AJ by his head and forces him into a standing position. He then throws him back into the ring and slides back in himself. MVP rolls Styles onto his back and covers him.
1..
2..
KICK-OUT!!
JR: WHAT?!
The King: AJ kicked out!!
MVP is in shock as he looks up at the referee holding up two fingers instead of three. MVP looks back over at AJ, who is beginning to stir after the devastating kick. MVP stands back up and lifts AJ back to his feet. MVP throws Styles into the ropes and goes for another clothesline. AJ, however, ducks and, as Montel turns around, AJ hits a springboard moonsault out of nowhere. He lands behind MVP and, in one swift motion, grabs him by the head and hits him with a reverse DDT!
JR: What athleticism displayed by the young Hardcore Champion!
The King: That's why they call him “Phenomenal” JR!
AJ then covers MVP.
1..
2..
KICK-OUT!!
AJ gets up and grabs MVP's leg and slams it straight into the mat. MVP grabs his leg but AJ shoves his arm away and grabs his leg once more and slams it again back down into the mat. AJ then drops down and attempts to slap on the Calf Killer again.
JR: It's the Calf Killer!
As he attempts to lock it in, MVP grabs the ropes and the referee breaks up the hold. MVP then rolls to the outside and starts checking his leg.
The King: MVP escapes once again!
The referee bends through the ropes and tries to tell MVP to get back into the ring. AJ tries to go after MVP but the referee stops him as MVP continues nursing the leg. AJ has enough of this and bounces off the ropes. He then sails right over the referee and ropes and hits a big senton onto MVP!
JR: BAH GAWD!
The King: AHHHHH! *King Scream*
The crowd goes crazy as AJ starts getting to his feet. MVP is starting to stir as well. AJ gets to his feet first and grabs MVP by the hair and drags him to the announcer's table. Before AJ can slam him down, MVP counters with a shot to the gut and instead he slams AJ's head into the announcer's table.
JR: MVP is coming back into this thing.
MVP grabs Styles and throws him into the steel steps. AJ hits knees-first and flips right over the steel steps. The referee is yelling at these guys to get back into the ring but MVP shrugs him off. He picks AJ back up and goes to slam his head onto the steel steps but this time AJ counters with a shot to the gut and slams MVP's head onto the steel steps. MVP stumbles back and AJ takes advantage once more by pushing MVP into the nearby ringpost. MVP hits shoulder first and goes down hard. AJ rolls into the ring to stop the ten-count but rolls right back out again. AJ goes for MVP's legs again but MVP powers out and uses his legs to push AJ off. AJ comes charging at MVP but MVP sidesteps and sends AJ shoulder first into the barricade.
The King: Smart thinking by the champion here! That's what I would've done back in Memphis!
AJ is in a sitting position with his back against the barricade. MVP backs up a few feet before charging ahead and delivering a big boot to AJ's face. MVP then rolls into the ring to stop the ten count before rolling back out. MVP walks back over to AJ and lifts him back up to his feet. MVP then grabs AJ up in a scoop slam and just drops him face first onto the barricade. AJ falls to the mat as MVP begins stomping away at him. The referee is still trying to get some sort of order in this match.
JR: Business is picking up here at the 2014 Slammys!
The King: He's gonna do anything and everything to hold onto his UWF Championship.
MVP rolls back into the ring to stop the ten count once more before rolling back out and going back on the attack. He lifts AJ back up to his feet and attempts to whip AJ back into the steel steps but AJ counters and sends MVP into the steel steps shoulder first. AJ then picks MVP up and throws him back into the ring. Styles slides in and goes for a pin.
1..
2..
KICK-OUT!!
MVP gets the shoulder up and AJ immediately places him in a sleeper hold. AJ is wrenching it in as MVP fades.
JR: I never thought I'd say this but AJ Styles is slowing this match down!
The King: AJ Styles is a totally different guy on SmackDown than he was over on RAW, JR!
The referee checks MVP's arm. He raises it once and it falls. The referee then picks it up and again, it falls. As the referee checks for a third time, MVP starts kicking back and starts muscling his way back to his feet. He then hits AJ in the gut with a few right hands. Eventually, it causes AJ to lose grip on MVP and he slips out. MVP comes off the ropes and AJ leap frogs over him. As AJ turns around, MVP catches him with a belly to belly suplex. MVP then stands back up and throws up the taunt as the crowd screams “BALLIN!” MVP then comes off the ropes and does his usual dance before throwing up the taunt again. MVP then hits AJ with the Ballin Elbow! MVP then pins AJ.
1..
2..
KICK-OUT!!
JR: WHAT?!
The King: I was for sure MVP had it there.
MVP can't believe it as he grabs at his cornrows in frustration. He then picks AJ back up and throws him into the corner. MVP then starts hammering away at AJ before whipping him into the opposite corner. MVP charges at the same time but AJ, as he reaches the corner, climbs the turnbuckles and hits a moonsault onto MVP!
JR: What a spectacular moonsault!
The King: Outta nowhere!
AJ then hooks the leg.
1..
2..
KICK-OUT!!
MVP kicks out and AJ is now the frustrated one. He then goes back to the leg and works it over. He picks MVP's leg up and slams it down into the mat once more. AJ then flips MVP over and places his throat under the bottom rope. He then slingshots MVP, causing him to hang himself on the bottom rope. AJ then drags MVP towards the center of the ring and drops an elbow onto MVP's left leg.
JR: It's amazing to see AJ Styles' transformation since becoming Hardcore Champion.
The King: It's always been there, JR. It just took going to SmackDown to bring it out of him!
AJ gets back up and attempts another maneuver on MVP's legs but MVP uses his legs to push AJ away. MVP gets to his feet and ducks a clothesline attempt. As he does, he locks AJ in and hits him with a German Suplex!
JR: And just like that, MVP is back in this thing!
After MVP hits one, he rolls back up with AJ and hits him with another.
The King: He's going for the trifecta!
MVP then rolls back up with AJ still in his grasp and hits him with a third and final German Suplex. This time, MVP successfully bridges and the referee counts the pin.
1..
2..
KICK-OUT!!
JR: So close! MVP, not to take anything away from him, has been impressive in his own right.
The King: He did the unthinkable at the Royal Rumble, JR. He beat Matt Morgan in the middle of the ring and became UWF Champion for a second time.
AJ gets out of the pinning predicament and back to his feet. MVP does the same and catches AJ in a headlock takedown. MVP wrenches in the headlock but, as he does, AJ starts connecting with kicks to the back of MVP's head. MVP lets AJ go and gets back to his feet. AJ gets up as well and dropkicks MVP in the knees, dropping him back down to the mat. AJ then grabs MVP's head and DDTs him to the mat. AJ then rolls MVP over and covers him.
1..
2..
KICK-OUT!!
AJ lifts MVP back up to his feet but MVP quickly gets behind AJ and attempts another German. AJ has this scouted and elbows MVP in the head, throwing the champion off his game. AJ then hits MVP with the Pele Kick!
JR: PELE KICK!
The King: He could win it right here!
AJ then falls onto MVP as the referee counts.
1..
2..
KICK-OUT!!
AJ grabs at his hair in disbelief and this sends him into a frenzy. He gets up and starts stomping away at MVP before looking at the ropes. He then exits the ropes and stands on the apron and calls for something.
JR: What's AJ thinking?
The King: He better pick his spot well or this could end up being the end for AJ.
AJ then springboards off the top rope and does a 450 splash. Before he connects, MVP rolls out of the way and AJ hits nothing but mat. AJ hits hard and sits up, holding his gut. As he's standing up, MVP quickly hits him with another Drive-By Kick!
JR: MVP!
The King: That's it. It's over!
MVP hooks the leg.
1..
2..
KICK-OUT!!
JR: WHAT?!
The King: AHHHHH! *King Scream*
MVP is shocked, as are the fans in attendance. They are all on their feet watching the main event. MVP picks AJ back up and attempts to send him into the ropes but AJ counters and sends MVP into the ropes instead. As MVP comes back, AJ hits him with a drop toe hold. As MVP hits the mat, AJ quickly locks in the Calf Killer in the center of the ring.
JR: He's got it locked in!
The King: This is how he won the Hardcore Title. Is he gonna win the UWF Title the same way?
AJ has the hold cinched in and MVP has nowhere to go. MVP is grabbing at his cornrows in pain and agony as the unrelenting challenger continues to punish the incumbent champion. MVP then decides to dig his hands into the mat and starts to power his way towards the ropes. At first, it has little effect as AJ has the Calf Killer locked in tight but, after a while, MVP starts making some strides and he starts to inch closer and closer to the ropes.
JR: Have you ever seen someone last this long in the Calf Killer, King?
The King: Not to my knowledge but that's the thing about MVP. He's supposedly “Half Man and Half Amazing.”
MVP is still locked in the hold but is inches away from the ropes. MVP stretches his arm out and his fingertips graze the bottom rope. AJ then lets go of the hold, stands up and drags MVP back towards the center of the ring. After he does, AJ locks the Calf Killer back in. MVP desperately grabs for the ropes again and screams out in pain. AJ has the look of a madman in his eyes as he makes MVP suffer.
JR: What have you guys done to AJ Styles?
The King: We unleashed him, JR!
MVP, in one last act of desperation, just starts wildly clawing into the mat, trying to move himself forward. It works as he quickly reaches the bottom rope, forcing the referee to make AJ break the hold. He does and MVP is hurt badly. AJ is looking almost possessed as the crowd is continuing to go insane.
JR: Ladies and gentlemen, this is our main event. AJ Styles. MVP. Which man wants to be UWF Champion more?
The King: This will be a Slammys no one will ever be able to forget!
MVP is using the ropes to get back up to his feet. MVP then stands and limps over towards AJ and the two of them begin exchanging right hands, the crowd “YAY”ing both guys. AJ gets the upper hand and whips MVP into the ropes. As he comes back, AJ bends over, setting up for a back body drop. However, MVP stops and grabs AJ by the back of the head and slams him down onto the mat.
JR: MVP will not be denied here!
MVP then rolls AJ over and covers him.
1..
2..
KICK-OUT!!
The King: That was a close 2!
MVP then turns AJ over onto his stomach and grabs his right leg and slaps AJ into a half Boston Crab. MVP wrenches in the hold as AJ writhes in pain. He desperately reaches out for the ropes but MVP is showing the same ruthlessness AJ was showing earlier. Styles digs his hands into the mat and lifts up, screaming the entire time. He then starts clawing himself closer to the ropes.
JR: It seems, King, that the tables have been turned here!
The King: MVP remembers how he felt in the Calf Killer and he's looking to return the favor.
AJ is inching himself closer to the ropes and eventually grabs hold of them. The referee then breaks up the hold. MVP then stands up and stalks AJ. AJ is taking a little while to get to his feet, using the ropes to do so. As he gets back to a vertical base, MVP turns him around and kicks him in the gut. Afterwards, MVP sets AJ up for the Playmaker!
JR: Uh oh, King!
The King: He's beaten many with this particular move!
Before he can connect, AJ powers himself up and traps MVP in a Styles Clash position. In one swift motion, AJ hits MVP with the Styles Clash and then rolls him over for the pin.
1..
2..
3!!
YOUR WINNER AND NEEEEEWWWWWW ULTIMATE WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMPION, “THE PHENOMENAL” AJ STYLES!!
JR: AJ STYLES DID IT!!
The King: AHHHHH! *King Scream*
AJ is on his knees, tears streaming down his face as the referee hands him the UWF Title. AJ holds it to his forehead and falls to the mat in exhaustion. MVP is just coming to and realizing what just happened.
JR: You can't take anything away from either man here!
The King: Both of these guys fought their hardest tonight and kudos to AJ Styles for being the better man.
AJ stands up and the referee holds his arm in victory. With his other arm, AJ lifts the UWF Championship high above his head as the fans are going crazy. MVP is back to his feet and the two have a staredown in the ring.
JR: What's gonna happen here?
The King: You gotta wonder what's going through the mind of MVP.
MVP then extends his hand as the crowd pops. AJ looks around at the audience before shaking MVP's hand. MVP then holds AJ's arm up as the crowd showers them in applause. MVP then exits the ring and AJ climbs the top rope, holding the UWF Title high in the air.
The King: MVP is a class act.
JR: Tonight, we have witnessed greatness! AJ Styles is champion!
We fade out on AJ on the top rope celebrating his victory as the crowd chants “AJ! AJ! AJ!”
END SHOW
CREDITS:
Promos/Acceptance Speeches - Respective TTers
Slammy Segments, US Title, UWF Title - The Hoov
R2R Segment, Piecing show together - Nate
Transatlantic, Miz and Morrison/ RVD & Sabu - Chase
R2R Tag Team Match- EoR and Hoov
OOC: The coding got really messed and I'm not able to edit it for some reason, so I apoligize on that account. -Nate
great Santino/Kozlov stuff there.
