World Champion's Tournament - Second Round
Live from the AO Arena - Manchester, England
Will Ospreay (Jeff) vs.
Sammy Guevara (Blaze)
We start off with an absolute barn-burner, as two of the hottest young cruiserweight talents today fight it out. It's disturbing how badly this match upstages everything else, and how even it is. There's so many kickouts at 2.99, and flashy moves and hold-for-hold battles in equal measure. Someone has to win this, though, and it's the Spanish God with a shooting star press off the top rope! Everyone is so happy with what they saw, but they want more...
Winner: Sammy Guevara in 23:08. Rating: ****1/2
World Champion's Tournament Quarter-Final -
Vladimir Koloff (Grim) vs.
Dustin "Screech" Diamond (KIF)
This is... a match. There's absolutely nothing good to say about it, it's sloppy as hell, but it's still a match. That's the best thing that can be said about it. And the first crack starts to appear in the Russians' armour as Diamond gets a lucky punch and KO's Koloff. Next up, Krusher Kruschev.
Winner: Dustin "Screech" Diamond in 7:53. Rating: 1/4*
Scott Hall (Smark) vs.
Homeless Jimmy (KIF)
This is just a complete squash, I don't know what to tell you. Hall beats the shit out of Jimmy and ends him with an Outsider's Edge. After the match, Hall takes a mic. "You might know who I am... But you don't know why I'm here. I'm here to become the S.H.I.T. World Champion!"
Winner: Scott Hall in 1:34. Rating: squash
It's announced that a TAG TEAM BATTLE ROYAL will take place at the finals to crown the first S.H.I.T. World Tag Team Champions - and a match between members of three of the teams participating will happen next!
X-Pac (Smark) vs.
Chris Bey (Blaze) vs.
The Blue Meanie (Juice)
Road Dogg, Sami Zayn, and Nova are respectively in their partners' corners. Or rather, Nova soon isn't in his corner as Sami Zayn is taking it out on any member of the bWo he can find, blaming them for his loss. With Nova beaten and bloodied, Zayn uses referee distractions whilst Bey and Pac are taking each other on, to attack Meanie and leave him wide open. It's just a matter of who gets to him first to pin him... and it's Chris Bey!
Winner: Chris Bey in 10:01. Rating: ***1/2
World Champion's Tournament Quarter-Final -
Dave Sullivan (Chris) vs.
Dezmond Xavier (Blaze)
There's a pre-match promo where Dave Sullivan thinks Dez's name is some sort of alien language because ha ha isn't dyslexia funny
. This is a pretty fun match, outright face vs. face, but it's clear from the start that Dez has this. There's a moment or two when you think Dave's going to take it, but that gets snatched away by agile, nimble offense. A Jocay-le kick finishes it, and Dez is through to the finals to face the winner of our main event tonight!
Winner: Dezmond Xavier in 12:38. Rating: ***3/4
Bo Dallas (Blaine) vs.
Hangman Adam Page (Jeff)
This is a hotly anticipated rematch, of course, and Bo seems to have stepped it up. He matches Hangman hold for hold, strike for strike, and seems on the road to getting the win with his finisher. Damien Sandow comes out to watch the match and "look down upon" the others, wine glass in hand. The crowd gasps in anticipation as Bo might actually get a win here... BUT THEN SANDOW SMASHES BO DALLAS WITH THE WINE GLASS! Sandow and Hangman don't even care that Bo's won by DQ, as he makes an eloquent speech about the joys of fine wines you've never heard of, and Hangman responds with "What that guy said". The
Drunken Scholars are born!
Winner: Bo Dallas by disqualification in 14:58. Rating: ***3/4
World Champion's Tournament Quarter-Final -
Nikita Koloff (Grim) vs.
Stevie Richards (Juice)
This match is mostly Stevie. He's fired up at watching the display of his comrades being beaten on by bitter eliminatees, and he's looking to take it out on this big Russian Nightmare. After a good strong Stevie Kick, he downs... the referee? Oh no! He missed Koloff! Before a second ref can dash out, Sami Zayn shows up again and smashes Stevie in the face with brass knucks! Sami slips under the ring until the second referee arrives, and that's enough for Koloff to hit a big Russian Sickle and win. It looked like two Russians were set to be eliminated at this round, but they're looking strong! And it's all thanks to outside feuds! The finals in London will be HUGE!
Winner: Nikita Koloff in 19:17. Rating: ****