Sky's Good Matches Thread (formerly You Decide What Sky Watches)

[Jay-Ashley]

Oh yeah, and the person who sent it (it's really obvious who, honestly, as this was the only lucha match in the first batch) spoiled part of how this match goes for me by only mentioning the participants in the second part. Not naming names here, but...

Yeah, I realized that after I sent it in XD Glad you enjoyed it because as I said it is a decent match middle baseline match.

 

[Death By Looch]

Hope you have fun, Sky

 

[Chris]

I've submitted a batch myself as well

 

[Jay-Ashley]

I will submit more, if I can find them on YouTube, lol.

 

[Sky]

Match #2
Al Snow (c) vs. Big Boss Man
Kennel from Hell Match for the WWF Hardcore Championship
WWF Unforgiven - September 26, 1999​

Was not expecting to roll a bad match this early, but here we go. Time for the Kennel from Hell. The build to this match was typically Attitude Era-type batshit, with Big Boss Man stealing Al Snow's dog and feeding it to him. This not only solidifies the fact that Boss Man is easily the purest, most irredeemable heel in WWE history (something something typical cop), but apparently has to lead to a dog-themed match. You can't just have a brutal steel cage match... it has to be a brutal DOUBLE steel cage match with DOGS! The Russo School of Booking: if you're keeping it simple, you're doing it wrong.

Let's start with the interviews before this match. Boss Man regrets nothing and also threatens to anally violate facial hair-era Michael Cole with his nightstick. Yep, megaheel. They actually play the cage-lowering music as they lower the Cell while they're erecting the blue cage. That really seems overly dramatic for a match with "Kennel" in its title. My dread for this match immediately doubles when I find out it's an escape-type cage match. Al Snow's interview mentions Boss Man being fat twice. Didn't feel intense enough for this feud, neither did the entrance where he gets the "Head" pops as usual. Commentary moment:

Lawler: "Remember what Boss Man did to Pepper's grave?"
JR, who would rather be doing anything else right now: "Yes. He urinated on it."
Lawler loses his shit in fits of giddy laughter

Then there's talk about memorable moments in Hell in a Cell. This will be another. "Memorable" doesn't mean good.

Bell rings, and no dogs yet. Boss Man immediately loses his nightstick and lets Snow hit him with it before getting locked out of the blue cage. Soon enough, here are the dogs. They're Rottweilers all right, but they don't exactly look vicious. Literally ONE SECOND after the first dog enters the Cell, it's urinated on the floor. That bodes well. Commentary acknowledges the dog urine. Dogs do their job and bark a bit as Boss Man and then Snow dangle precariously off the side of the blue cage. Oh wait, turns out they're just barking at each other. Snow's doing his best Spider-Man impression, jumping from the blue cage to the inside of the Cell, until Boss Man pulls out the first wrestling move of the match by suplexing him into the ring.

The dogs are doing nothing but bark at each other. I wonder what they're saying? "What's going on?" "I have no idea. Let's just bark some more."JR continues to damn this match with faint praise, saying it's "one of the more unique matches" he's ever seen. This match starts to vaguely resemble a match once again as Boss Man delivers nasty shots to Snow's head. He pulls out wire cutters to open up the top of the Cell before Snow recovers and breaks a wooden implement over his back. I say that because commentary never identifies it. Boss Man produces white powder from his pockets - I would make the easy joke, but Lawler already implied it was cocaine - before getting it thrown in his own face.

Crowd is burying this match, Jesus fuck. Lawler identifies a shovel head as a "Rottweiler pooper scooper". Maybe that's why they haven't let the dogs on camera for the past 3 solid minutes. We finally get a view of them, and they're being completely docile to Snow (who's the nearest wrestler at that time) while lunging at each other like they've just met each other on a walk and are excited to perform nose-to-butt communication. Lawler's pun about a "Doberman pitcher" is easily the most entertaining thing that's happened so far in this match. Boss Man handcuffs Snow to the corner, but goes for an unnecessary eye rake rather than escaping. Therefore, predictably, when he does try to climb out, Snow escapes. The crowd BOOS the fact that this match isn't going to end yet. Thankfully, we're relieved of this match, because a belt shot later, Snow gets out of the cages and it's over.

Overall? Definitely bad, indefensible on any level, but the amount of stupid moments in this match and the fact that they were already burying the thing on-screen makes it enough unintentional comedy to avoid being ranked among the worst of the worst of the worst. Let's hope match 3 will be better.

 

[Death By Looch]

Damn... who put you through that one?

Only thing redeeming about that match is in my eyes, that it does sound interesting on paper. ...but so does a lot of stuff that would turn out to be just pure garbage.

 

[Vegeta]

you’re welcome

 

[Sky]

you’re welcome

 

[Chris]

And I thought I suggested some bad matches

 

[Vegeta]

I made up for it with some good matches as well. That was the only purposely bad one I did. if any of the other I think, three I sent in if they are bad then it wasn’t on purpose LOVE YOU SKY!

 

[Sky]

Match #3
Hornswoggle vs. El Torito
WeeLC match
WWE Extreme Rules - May 4, 2014​

I have a complicated relationship with mini wrestling. While it's undeniable that there are many talented wrestlers with dwarfism, there's rarely a promoter that notices this. I've noticed the trend of promoters, especially American promoters to see them and just think "haha little people funni" and reduce them to a comedy spot (see: the Juniors Division). That attitude often makes it hard to enjoy a minis match as the presentation is often such as to tell the viewer "you should not care about this". I've heard a lot of good things about the WeeLC match, that it's actually good, but does it live up to the hype? Let's see, because if I've watched this pre-show before, I have no memory of it.

This was actually the pre-show match to Extreme Rules 2014, to get us hyped for... uh... Kane getting a world title shot, and... uh... Tamina. To be fair, it does have Shield vs. Evolution, which I remember SLAPPED, but that's just one match.

They do go all out with the presentation from the start, with mini versions of Cole, Lawler, and JBL on a mini commentary desk, and even a mini ring announcer! El Torito's out with Los Matadores, and I'm now a little sad knowing how depressingly flat Los Matadores were. It's actually a terrible gimmick in 1994, let alone 2014. My hype goes up more when 3MB's music hits, because 3MB were cool. Hornswoggle has entered his weird phase in his career at this point, because he's not doing the Irish leprechaun thing, so his entire gimmick is just being short. Crowd is HOT for this before the bell rings, so time to have fun!

And already I'm sold when Swoggle immediately goes for the Orton punt kick and whiffs it. Torito gets his opponent out of the ring so he can hit a tope on all of 3MB! Swoggle tries the same and fails, because apparently only Mexican minis can dive to the outside. Torito brings out a regular chair, but tosses it away in favour of a MINI CHAIR! He then uses it to get a high-elevation Bronco Buster. This is so fun! Swoggle grabs on to Torito's tail, so Torito guides him around until he hits Jinder in the crotch. I'm sorry, but... I just really like seeing Jinder get hurt. Swoggle grabs a three-rung ladder, goes up and teases the Tadpole Splash. He should have known it wouldn't work when Torito GOT UP in the middle of it and then laid back down, pretending to let the hype moment happen. Crowd doesn't even seem too happy with this moment of the heel being foiled, because they're just enjoying both these guys doing their thing.

Swoggle hits a powerbomb, and when we're back from the break, he's on the outside and 3MB's scrapping with Los Matadores. Mini commentary gets the WWE Network plug in . One of Los Matadores takes a tiny tiny table bump, which must be roughly equivalent to just landing on your back on the ring floor. Yikes. Swoggle gets Rolling Thunder with a chair, and a quick double-check of this card confirms that the real RVD was on this show. He's probably too high to get mad over having his bit stolen. Then, Swoggle clears away the mini commentators so he can do a mini announce table break spot!!

Heath Slater grabs Torito so Swoggle can take a chair swing, but he misses and hits Heath right in the nads... sending him through a big stack of mini tables! AMAZING spot. Los Matadores recover, and they and Torito do a double suplex/splash to Mahal on the outside, through a stack of mini tables and ladders! Drew hits a tope con hilo over the ropes, on to nothing but table! This is CHAOS. Slingshot senton from Torito through a mini table finishes it!

Wow, that was... I'll be honest. I lead with the fact that promoters often reduce little people to comedy spots, and there were comedy spots in this match. But there was also actual wrestling, high flying, tables breaking, and the crowd was hot through all of it. I can see how this would get people hyped for a show. It got me hyped for the next match I'm going to cover, which could even be later today.

 

[Sky]

Right now there's 17 matches on the wheel (well 18, but one is a repeat that gets 2 spots because clearly 2 people want to see it)

Keep em coming, I like the variety, I'm seeing some matches from promotions I've watched little or none of which is nice

 

[Sky]

Match #4
Pat Patterson vs. Sgt. Slaughter
Alley Fight
WWF at MSG - May 4, 1981​

This was the duplicate I mentioned yesterday. Turns out 2 people wanted me to see the first ever WON Match of the Year, and that's valid. I mean, how can it be a wrong choice? It was Match of the Year, according to at least someone. And this is sort of hardcore? I guess? I'm not expecting brutality as it is 1981, but there's got to be a lot of intensity here. From my research this all started when Patterson got screwed out of the Cobra Clutch challenge, leading to a bunch of matches that ended in DQs. Classic booking, there. The rules can't stop them fighting, so why not have a match without rules?

And since this is basically a proto-Street Fight, they both come out in street clothes, which I like. Pat Patterson comes out in a "I Heart NY" tee and a Yankees cap, at which point he might as well scream into the mic "I am the babyface, cheer me!". He's wearing sharp-toed boots too, as commentary points out. Slaughter's out with his manager at the time, The Grand Wizard. I always thought that name was uncomfortable. I know it's a Jewish man appropriating a name from the KKK, but still, it's a name from the KKK. Come to think of it, because of that discomfort a name like "The Grand Wizard" is instant heel heat. Makes sense.

Patterson's out like a house on fire, holy fuck. We're about 30 seconds in and Slaughter is struggling to stand. He can't even hit a punch in the corner, he whiffs it. Patterson delivers a whipping with his belt. Crowd ROARS for this. Then he starts choking the fuck out of Slaughter with it, fuck me. I notice I'm saying fuck a lot, this is just so visceral. Three minutes in and Slaughter pulls off his first successful move, an eye rake. Even then, when he's got the belt, he's taken such a beating that he falls over after the first strike he makes with it. He's able to gag Patterson with the belt though, and starts choking him with his own New York-themed shirt. Then Patterson recovers and uses momentum to toss Slaughter over the top rope using the shirt! I can see why 1981 audiences were so hyped for this.

Slaughter goes to the top rope for a flying nothing, and I legit worry he may have Sidded his ankle for a moment. Patterson himself manages to get a flying move in, for what's sold as a second rope stomp to the face but clearly isn't (first of all, that would be ridiculous, Slaughter wouldn't have a face today if that were true). Then he does it again because he just wants to hurt the guy! But he makes the silly decision to challenge Slaughter on the match, letting him take advantage again by chicanery. Commentary repeatedly mentions what boots the two have on. I almost mark out as Slaughter mulls over going for a top rope dive to the outside, but he changes his mind.

A catapult by Patterson busts Slaughter open! I assume he bladed just before that, but still. The guy's comically teetering as he walks until Patterson pounds him (not in that way). Only a good old nut shot stops the assault. He then nails Patterson with the brass knuckles, but can't take advantage because the strength in his legs has ceased to exist. Patterson again manages to recover, do a good old punch-block, then continues to smash Slaughter's face in with the aid of the corners. And with the aid of his COWBOY BOOT, which he's using as a weapon now! Slaughter's so fucked up that he's now trying to punch something that doesn't exist, facing in the wrong direction... I love this Sarge. I wish I could see him do more of this and less of the... Saddam stuff. He's at full crimson mask now.

And just like that... the match ends. Turns out the Wizard's thrown in the towel, which feels really disappointing. He doesn't want to give Patterson the satisfaction of a pinfall victory, but neither does it give the fans the satisfaction of a decisive victory. They pop all the same, though, as Slaughter is still climbing in the ring and trying to not collapse. Wizard's pulling him out, and that may have just turned him a little bit babyface for me.

I'm honestly not sure how I feel about the finish. It's kind of a fuck finish, having the blowoff not be finished decisively. According to Cagematch they ran this one back at the Spectrum, maybe I'll try to find that one. Still, best of the 4 matches I've seen so far. Thank you to the 2 people who wanted me to see this.

 

[Sky]

Match #5
Fujita "Jr." Hayato/Munenori Sawa vs. Masaaki Mochizuki/Kota Ibushi
Battlarts Rules
Indie Summit 2006 - December 31, 2006​

I don't know why, but I've never been truly able to get into puro stuff, which makes the fact that there's currently so much of it on the wheel interesting. This is the first time it got picked, and it's one of those interpromotional matches that always seems to happen in Japan. From the logos on the match card graphic, we've got representation from Battlarts, Michinoku Pro, Dragon Gate, and DDT. Quite an eclectic mix of styles, but they seem to be fixing them to one style. That style being Battlarts, meaning shoot style. So this is going to be a match of hitting each other really hard, just like the Alley Fight! Only more sports-like.

Hayato's got a cross on his shirt, and seems to be praying for some reason before he gets in the ring. Is that a gimmick? I can't really tell. Ibushi looks extremely awkward here.

We start with Sawa and Ibushi in the ring, and FUCK that was quick. They're wildly flailing at each other like maniacs. My expectation when I saw this would be shoot style was that there'd be a lot more feeling out and trying to find an opening like there is in legit shootfights. Hayato gets tagged in and clearly the amount of sheer swagger this lad has intimidates Ibushi because he tags out. The swag continues as Hayato just ducks the big fat roundhouse kick that Mochizuki is throwing, trips him and leg locks him. He must be losing 50 pounds or so on Mochizuki and yet he has the brass balls to do this. Both are trying hard to turn each other over until Mochizuki gets a rope break. Side note: I now understand how the counter to a Figure Four is supposed to be turning over. It makes a lot more sense now that I've seen a simple leg lock countered that way.

Hayato makes the mistake of tagging in Sawa, who quickly gets a snapmare and a stiff kick right to the spine. Mochizuki then teases a suplex but goes into a Fujiwara armbar, which is actually a really cool mixup. Sawa decides the best counter to a kneebar is to slap his opponent, which goes predictably. In comes Ibushi, who's a lot lankier than I remember. Sawa gets Ibushi down and does what looks like a fucking PEOPLE'S ELBOW.



In what is apparently a shoot style match. I take back my preconceptions on what this would be, this is AWESOME.

Sawa leaves Ibushi to face his kryptonite in Hayato, and Hayato delivers on his sheer swag with shoot kicks (in the days before anyone invented shouting "YES" for those). He scoop slams Ibushi and I now understand how 1987 kids felt when Hogan slammed Andre. Back to Sawa, and his devastating octopus stretch is only stopped by Mochizuki dropping in and booting him in the back again. Surely that's a DQ? Ibushi's now able to pull a knee strike outta nowhere that turns Sawa inside out, before tagging out again.

Finally Sawa has worked out how to deal with Mochizuki. Apparently, it's countering a top rope enzuigiri into an ANKLE LOCK! Amazing spot. Hayato jumps Ibushi and they're brawling on the outside (no doubt Ibushi's getting his ass kicked) as Sawa changes it up to a Figure 4! Another turning-each-other-over contest ensues until again Mochizuki gets a rope break. The other two are back to their ring corners now as Ibushi's in, and he SHOVES THE REFEREE?? His opponents rush in to protest this display of rule breaking in a very physical manner, but Ibushi somehow fights them off before delivering a German suplex (which is sold like it's a complete deadlift) to Hayato. They go to the outside, setting up Mochizuki to do what is apparently his signature move, the Literally Just Kick You In The Fucking Backbone, which makes a sound that cracks through the arena.

Mochizuki's basically fighting 2 on 1 here as the match descends into chaos (shooty chaos). Shining Wizard from Sawa right out of nowhere! Hayato puts on a guillotine choke, and is screaming for some reason. Ibushi's in to break it up but Sawa stops him doing too much damage. I respect Sawa a lot, he's enforcing the rules better than the ref. Mochizuki gets his 3rd rope break (shame it isn't ROH rules, huh?). Sawa's ruining Ibushi on the outside, completely ignoring the fact that Hayato's getting his face kicked in. One last guillotine choke attempt fails and Mochizuki boots the coolest man in the world's face enough for the ref to apparently call a TKO. Ibushi and Sawa have a pull-apart brawl while Mochizuki puts over Hayato. Same.

Okay, that was GREAT. I didn't go in with many expectations, but it way over delivered. How was that 11 minutes? It felt like half that, so much pace and so much brutal striking. Easily my top match so far.

 

[Kiffy Lube]

Jimmy Jacobs v.s BJ Whitmer, I Quit Match in IWA-MS. I think you'd love it as much as I did but I have no idea if that's even watchable now. Owen/Bret Ironman Match fancam is on Youtube if you can't watch the first one.