Reviewing every WWE PPV in order from worst to best

[Leon TrotSky]

Nothing says "New Generation" like a main event with a combined age of 88

 

[Jarf]

Nothing says "New Generation" like a main event with a combined age of 88

What's even funnier than that is Lawler called Piper a washed up old dinosaur or something. Lawler was older than Piper!

 

[Jarf]

Survivor Series 2004

Match 1: Cruiserweight Championship Fatal 4-Way Match - Spike Dudley (c) def. Rey Mysterio, Chavo Guerrero & Billy Kidman (9:04)

You can't go wrong opening a show with some Cruiserweights. Fast paced all the way through. First couple minutes is all 4 guys trying to get ahead of the others. First big spot of the match goes to Rey Mysterio as he leaps off the top rope to hit a hurricanrana to Kidman to the floor from the apron. Chavo reverses a bulldog and throws Rey over the top rope, causing him to hit a seated senton on Kidman. Chavo leaps over onto Rey and Kidman next. And then when Spike tries to do the same, he eats shit on the floor. Action continues and Spike slides Rey under the bottom rope and Rey hits the floor chest first. Then we get a tower of doom spot as Chavo attempts a suplex on Spike from the top rope, Billy comes over and picks Chavo up for the electric chair. Rey counters the Dudley Dog by dropping down and drops Spike throat first on the middle rope. Rey hits the 619 and goes for West Coast Pop, but Kidman stops that by pulling Rey by his foot off the apron. Chavo hits Spike with a Gory Bomb and covers him, but Kidman leaps over the ropes from the apron and hits Chavo with a legdrop across the back of his neck. Rey leaps in and catches Kidman's head and head scissors him out of the ring, but this gives Spike a chance to cover Chavo and retain.

My Rating: ***1/2

Match 2: Intercontinental Championship Match - Shelton Benjamin (c) def. Christian (13:22)

So after an exciting opener, we get another really good match. Christian makes the mistake of trying to outwrestle Shelton early on. And every time Christian tries to take control, Shelton shows how athletic he is, and just lands on his feet. That's what Tyson Tomko is there for. Tyson tries to pull Shelton off the apron and Shelton kicks him for it. He goes to dive onto Tomko, but Christian takes advantage, and knocks him off the apron to the barricade from this point, Christian grounds Shelton, with help here and there from Tomko on the outside. Christian mocks and slaps Benjamin repeatedly, which sets him off and Shelton starts to begin his comeback. Shelton goes for a Stinger splash but Christian moves out of the way to hit an impaler DDT. Shelton kicks out and Tyson slides the title in the ring. He distracts the referee and Christian picks up the title, looking to use it. But Benjamin kicks Christian and goes up top to come down with a diving clothesline. Christian kicks out and when the referee removes the title from the ring, Tomko slides in a big boots Shelton in the face. Christian covers him and Shelton kicks out. Tomko tries to interfere one more time and eats a kick to the face from Shelton. Christian goes for the Unprettier, but Shelton escapes the attempt and leap frogs over Christian. Christian tries a clothesline and gets caught for a T-Bone Suplex and Benjamin retains.

My Rating: ***3/4

Match 3: Survivor Series Tag Team Elimination Match - Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, Big Show & Rob Van Dam def. Kurt Angle, Luther Reigns, Mark Jindrak & Carlito (12:24)

Before the match even starts, Carlito gets out of there because Cena goes right past both teams to chase after Carlito and Jesús. 2 men ran away from one guy. Hmmm. Anyway. Carlito and Jesús carjack some poor woman and leave the arena, leaving Angle's team down one member before the bell even rings. Cena makes it back to ringside. Eddie and RVD work together at the start. But once Kurt gets in, he starts tossing Eddie around and now they start to keep Eddie away from his team. But Eddie gets the hot tag and RVD comes back in and goes wild. He goes to hit Kurt with the 5 Star, but Jindrak comes in trying to pull Kurt out, so Van Dam hits him across his back instead. He knocks Reigns off the apron with a spinning heel kick but Kurt takes advantage and rolls RVD up from behind, eliminating him. But then right after that, Eddie rolls up Jindrak from behind and pins him. Even though Jindrak wasn't the legal man but whatever. Big Show finally comes in and he goes toe to toe with Luther. But Reigns ultimately gets dropped with a Chokeslam and eliminated, leaving it down to Angle. Big Show goes to Chokeslam Kurt. But Kurt rolls through his legs and snatches his ankle, bringing him down into an Ankle Lock. But Big Show rolls through and sends Kurt flying out of the ring. Kurt looks back in the ring and decides its time to leave. Screw the W. But RVD comes back out to stand in his way, backing Kurt towards the ring. Kurt backs up into the Big Show and reaches back to touch his head and he makes this face that makes it look like he's about to cry. He turns around and Big Show sends him back into the ring into John Cena who finally did something in this match. Cena drops Kurt with an FU and Eddie follows that up with a Frog Splash. Big Show rolls in, covers Angle and Team Guerrero stands tall.

My Rating: ***1/4

Match 4: The Undertaker def. Heidenreich (15:53)

Wow. Um… this match… dog shit. And somehow they thought giving it 16 minutes would be a good idea. This is one of the only black spots on the show that I would recommend skipping. Heidenreich has one move… punching. That's this whole match. Undertaker takes 3 shots to the crotch by the way and that's how Heidenreich gets the upper hand. The match is at least back and forth so there's at least no long periods of Heidenreich laying on Taker. But it's just so uninteresting that it doesn't matter. Undertaker is being given the 10 punches in the corner, but Undertaker grabs him and hits a terrible Last Ride. Heidenreich gets his foot on the rope. But soon enough, the end (thankfully) comes. Undertaker gives him a Chokeslam and a Tombstone. That's it. I'll give him credit where credit is due, he tried to carry Heidenreich to a good match, but you can only do so much.

My Rating: *1/2

Match 5: Women's Championship Match - Trish Stratus (c) def. Lita via DQ (1:19)

This feud takes off right after the whole pregnancy angle was kicked and now Lita is back in the ring. Before the bell can even ring, Lita knocks Trish to the mat and then she takes her outside. And after months of Trish taunting her, Lita has enough and in the moment, the title comes second to hurting Trish. Lita uses a steel chair to bash Trish over the head and the back. When Trish comes back up, she's bleeding and Lita zeroes in on her nose, trying to break it. Officials come down to pry Lita off Trish. But when Trish gets back up, Lita comes back to push Trish's from behind, shoving her face first into the steps, further damaging her face. And rightfully so if we're being honest. Trish fucked around and found out.

Match 6: WWE Championship Match - JBL (c) def. Booker T (14:44)

This match was crazy. Not because it was good but because it was insanely overbooked. I feel like Orlando Jordan did more to help JBL retain than JBL did, which I guess is the point. But holy crap, there was so much happening towards the end. I'd say halfway through the match is when it started getting out of hand. And believe it or not, these two were having a decent match beforehand. But with the referee’s back turned, Jordan tries to attack Booker outside, and Booker ain't having that shit. He beats the shit out of Orlando on the outside like he's me playing a wrestling game and is getting sick of the manager interfering or distracting the ref. JBL comes outside to help him but Booker catches him and drops him on the outside with a Book End. Several more times however, Jordan gets involved, tripping Booker as he's going for a Scissors Kick. Distracting him as he's going for the Houston Hangover, giving JBL time to move. The referee gets knocked down and Jordan takes that as a chance to jump Booker from behind. Jordan goes out and grabs the WWE Title. But Josh Matthews of all people runs down to stop him, but not before he threw the belt in the ring. JBL beats up Josh, but Booker has recovered and gives him a kick to the face, followed by the Scissors Kick. But with no referee, there's nobody to count the pin. Orlando once again gets in the ring, only to get a Book End. But Booker turns around for JBL to knock him out silly with the title and now the referee wakes up from his nap to count the pin. JBL retains.

My Rating: ***

Main Event: Survivor Series Tag Team Elimination Match - Randy Orton, Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho & Maven def. Triple H, Edge, Batista & Snitsky (24:30)

Main event time. Gotta say, I'm quite surprised this doesn't get brought up more often. Then again, it does have Benoit in it… scratch that, I'm not surprised. Me personally, I really liked this match. Pretty great if you ask me. The stipulation going into this match is that the winning team will take a turn running Raw for a month. Because Bischoff was like “I'm going on vacation.” Snitsky also jumped Maven from behind earlier in the night and busted him open pretty good. Orton's team starting with 1 man down like Kurt's earlier. The first several minutes are nothing. But Orton tags in Benoit at around the six minute mark. And Benoit is like a one man army. He's throwing entire opposing team around, over his head. Benoit gets HHH in the Sharpshooter and Snitsky comes in to save him. Triple H hits Benoit with a Pedigree before leaving the ring, and Edge covers him to eliminate him. At the moment, its just Orton and Jericho. But fortunately for them, there are too many egos on Team HHH and the infighting begins. Jericho nearly eliminates HHH with the Walls of Jericho because Batista and Snitsky are in each other's face. But Batista turns and saves his leader. Ric Flair gets sent to the back for tripping Jericho on the Lionsault and the referee is so occupied with him that he doesn't see Orton hit Batista with the World Title, allowing Jericho to drop him with an enziguri and eliminate Batista. But Orton and Jericho are still down 2 to 3 so the domination begins. But wait. Who's that coming down the ramp? It's Maven to absolutely no pop which is awkward and hilarious at the same time. Maven gets on the apron, and Jericho tags him in. And Maven… actually kicks some ass. He actually gives Snitsky a gross cut on his left eyebrow. He takes on HHH and Edge too. But Snitsky comes in with a chair and clocks Maven’s in the head with it. He's disqualified. But already out so he might as well give one to Jericho and Orton too. HHH takes advantage and pins Maven who's now officially out. Now it's 2 on 2. But unfortunately for Jericho, Edge and HHH pick on him while Orton is still down outside. Jericho fights back. Managing to escape a Pedigree by back dropping HHH but then gets Speared a moment later and eliminated by Edge. Now its up to Orton. He's ganged up on but puts up a valiant effort. Orton nearly pins Edge with a rollup after dropkicking him into HHH who was on the apron. Edge shoves Orton off of an RKO attempt, pushing him into a Spinebuster by HHH. All 3 men start to get up and Edge goes to Spear Orton. But Orton dodges and HHH takes the Spear instead. Orton eliminates Edge with an RKO, leaving us down to 2. Orton waits for HHH to get back up and goes for the RKO, but HHH drops down, low blows Orton as the referee tells Edge to leave. HHH picks Orton back up and goes to end it with a Pedigree. But Orton swings out of it and drops him with an RKO for 1,2,3. Orton wins it for his team. If you've never seen this match, I recommend it. Pretty underrated if you ask me.

My Rating: ****

Cagematch Rating: 6.43

My Rating: 8.5/10

Unappreciated gem of a show to be honest. The only reason I didn't rate it higher is because of the Taker and Heidenreich match. I also can't say there was anything particularly special about this show which is probably why it's hardly remembered. But overall, I thought this was a great show and something I would recommend watching.

 

[Chris]

You liked the JBL/Booker match a lot more than me lol but otherwise, I agree. This was a great PPV, I watched this one live at 8 years old lol

 

[Jarf]

You liked the JBL/Booker match a lot more than me lol but otherwise, I agree. This was a great PPV, I watched this one live at 8 years old lol

I can definitely see why you didn't like it to be fair lol.

 

[Skyefire]

WWE also felt the need to give Undertaker and Heidenreich a rematch at Royal Rumble in a Casket Match. The Trish vs Lita match would lead to the main event of Raw in December and another match at New Year's Revolution in which Lita injured her knee and would be out of action for a year. The main event would result in every member of the winning team becoming GM for one night. Orton would book Triple H vs Benoit vs Edge for the World Heavyweight title and that match would end in a draw forcing the title to be held up and a new champion to be crowned at New Year's Revolution in an Elimination Chamber Match.

 

[GARBAGE]

That Undertaker/Heidenreich casket match is some dogtrash. There's a bit where Heidenreich tries to apply a cobra clutch or something and couldn't figure it out and it's just hilarious and embarrassing.

 

[Jarf]

TLC 2009

Match 1: ECW Championship Ladder Match - Christian (c) def. Shelton Benjamin (18:05)

As far as I know, these two only had 2 PPV singles matches against each other, so what are the odds I get both of them back to back. I may be in the minority on this, but I actually think this was the worse of the two. But I still enjoyed it. There was some crazy spots in this match. What hurts this match happens at the start where Christian gets cut open after having a ladder fall right on his face. Because now, doctors had to halt the match to stop the bleeding because god forbid anyone bleeds like a normal human. It’s a ladder match too so as they were working on Christian, Shelton had plenty of time to climb a ladder and grab the title, so now he just has to stand there like an idiot and wait for Christian to stop bleeding. The first insane spot happens after that, where Shelton climbs up a ladder and sentons off on Christian outside the ring. Hardly any pop but I’m sure Shelton was feeling that the next day. Shelton pulls out another ladder and bridges it between the apron and the announce table. That’ll come into play at the end. But for the next few minutes, they don’t really seem to click and the match has a hard time really getting going. But the next crazy spot comes with Shelton riding this huge ladder. As in, he tips it as he’s on top of it and comes off with a clothesline on Christian. Shelton goes up to grab the title, but Christian takes the ladder out from underneath Shelton, who now is hanging there. Christian sets up another ladder in the corner, then gives the first ladder back to Shelton, who now has something to stand on. But Christian goes up with him, knocks him off and grabs the title. But now Shelton pushes the ladder out from under Christian, who now hangs from the title. Shelton grabs Christian in a powerbomb position and just tosses him into the corner that Christian set that ladder up in. Christian has taken a lot of abuse in this match and it shows on his face. But finally, he starts to turn it around. Shelton climbs one side of the ladder and Christian climbs the other. Shelton sunset flips over to the other side, picking Christian off for another powerbomb, but Christian reverses it into a hurricanrana. They go out to the apron where Shelton tries to german suplex Christian onto the ladder he bridged earlier, and Christian escapes, using the ropes to kick Shelton and rebound back on his feet at the same time. Shelton falls back onto the ladder and Christian climbs one of the turnbuckles, diving through Shelton with a splash. That gives Christian plenty of time to climb a ladder and take down the ECW Title.

My Rating: ***1/2

Match 2: Intercontinental Championship Match - Drew McIntyre def. John Morrison (c) (10:20)

I can’t believe Drew won this match in hindsight, because working with Morrison exposed his inexperience if anything else. Morrison gets off to a hot and aggressive start against Drew, who tried intimidating John early, but JoMo wasn’t having it. But the match turns around in Drew’s favor when he goes outside. Morrison runs out after him. McIntyre catches Morrison and throws him over his head into the ring post. From there, McIntyre wears Morrison down and lays on him like its an episode of SmackDown and not a PPV. But Morrison eventually turns it around after hitting a tilt-a-whirl DDT. Morrison starts mounting a comeback, but Drew tries to stop that with a reverse Alabama Slam. Drew picks him back up, and John dropkicks him out of the ring. Morrison attacks him out there and throws him back in the ring. Drew goes shoulder first into the ring post and Morrison sets him up for a Starship Pain. Morrison… kinda hits it. He covers Drew, but before the referee can count three, he sees Drew’s foot under the bottom rope. Drew recovers and pulls out what I’m assuming was brass knucks, and I think what was supposed to happen, was Morrison would kick Drew which would cause him to drop the knucks and distract the referee, but what actually happens, is Morrison kicks Drew, who drops it out of the ring. Morrison takes off his belt for no reason (I know why but for the match, he had no reason to do it). He drops it on the mat, and the referee gets distracted. McIntyre pokes John in the eye and hits a Future Shock DDT for the win. Super awkward finish, which is unfortunate for your first title win.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 3: Women’s Championship Match - Michelle McCool (c) def. Mickie James (7:35)

Hey, remember that super weird and super lame storyline where LayCool basically said “man, Mickie James sure is fucking fat huh?” Which, looking at Mickie here, I can assure you that’s not fucking true. And I’ve heard, that this storyline came together because Mickie put on a little bit of weight. Which, even if she had, who gives a shit? I have no idea if it’s true, but knowing Vince… it probably is. But anyway, awful storyline aside, let’s talk about this match. Much like the last one, it’s alright, but I could’ve done without it. I do like how Mickie was all up in Michelle’s face at the start. Like you wanted to see Mickie kick her ass. But Michelle starts dominating and lays on Mickie because we’re not allowed to have any fun. But Mickie starts to come back to the extent that Michelle retreats outside, and even with Layla out there, Mickie starts whooping both their asses before she throws Michelle back in the ring. Mickie climbs the top rope and Layla pushes her off. Mickie ain’t having that shit. She boots Layla in the gut before Michelle gets up and boots Layla in the face after Mickie sidesteps her. Mickie rolls Michelle up from behind and gets a 2 count. Then Michelle kicks Mickie in the face and stacks her up for a 3 count. Another weird finish.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 4: WWE Championship Tables Match - Sheamus def. John Cena (c) (16:25)

This match is an anomaly to me. How is it that it isn’t looked back on fondly, or remembered for being good and still overrated. Yeah, I don’t think this match gets enough crap. This sucked. For 16 minutes, all they do is set up spots and take so long to actually move on to the next one. The match started off fine, they were fighting each other and it was a brawl. But soon it just devolves into a slow, boring match that drags itself out. And some of the spots aren’t even good. Like Cena running with a table to slam it onto Sheamus laying down. I don’t know if that really counts. Sheamus dodged it however and goes into the crowd, and Cena chases after him. They go back into the ring where Sheamus drops Cena with a Brogue Kick. Sheamus props a table up in the corner and looks to drive Cena through it, but Cena escapes and implements the 5 MOVES OF DOOM! I will say, it was a good idea for Sheamus to get rid of the table in the ring but then he just walks into Cena, who hits him with an AA. Cena brings another table into the ring and sets up near the corner. He props Sheamus up and tries for an AA from the top through the table. Which seems incredibly unnecessary, that seems like extra effort to me. Like, you don’t need to pin the guy, just put him through a table. Sheamus escapes the attempt however, and now both men are on the corner, Cena looks like he’s going for a superplex through the table. But what’s this… a gust of wind pushes Cena off the ropes and through the table and Sheamus wins. They tried to say Cena lost his balance, but Cena was like 4 feet away from the table. And Sheamus didn’t really shove him either. So I choose to believe it was god, the same guy who cost Finn his match with Roman Reigns, that shoved Cena through that table. Listen, I know nothing makes sense in wrestling but when you pick apart this match, it feels goofy. But more shockingly, Sheamus is the WWE Champion. And I couldn’t believe it at the time. I didn’t watch it live, I had to find out the results afterward, and I thought they were trolling us when I read “Sheamus def. John Cena.” This was such a huge upset at the time. But yeah, the match itself isn’t very good.

My Rating: *1/2

Match 5: World Heavyweight Championship Chairs Match - The Undertaker (c) def. Batista (14:45)

Speaking of goofy, let’s talk about the Chairs Match, quite possibly the most pointless stipulation in the history of wrestling. They figured since Tables and Ladders had their stipulation that chairs needed one too I guess. But you win by pinfall or submission. Like at least the other 2 had a term to win. Give this one too. Like “First person to use a chair 15 times wins” or something, anything other than “they can use chairs.” Because of this, these two felt like they needed to implement chairs into every spot they did. And there weren’t very many spots to begin with. It’s a shame too because these guys proved they had good chemistry in the past so what the hell. And the match is at least back and forth, but still, there’s almost nothing of substance here. Undertaker tries to boot Batista into the barricade, but Batista dodges and cracks a chair across his back. They go back in the ring and Batista drops Undertaker with a superplex. Batista sets a chair in the ring and tries to hit a Batista Bomb, but Undertaker back drops him onto the chair. Batista gets back up and Undertaker runs into a Spinebuster. Batista props a chair between the top and middle ropes in the corner which will come into play later. Batista hits another spinebuster with Undertaker’s head hitting the chair. Batista looks like he’s setting up a Batista Bomb, but Undertaker grabs him and puts him in the Hell’s Gate. Batista escapes and he goes to Spear Undertaker, but his head hits the steel chair he propped instead. Undertaker hits Batista with a clothesline and a Chokeslam which Batista kicks out of. Undertaker sets up for the Tombstone, but Batista slides off and shoves Taker into the referee. Undertaker stops himself before contact is made, but Batista takes advantage and low blows Taker. Batista cracks Undertaker in the head with a chair and pins him. 1, 2, 3… Now I know Batista doesn’t win the title here so I know some bullshit is about to go down. And sure enough, Teddy Long comes out and says that chairs are legal, but not low blows so he restarts the match. Batista goes back in the ring with a chair and Undertaker kicks it back in his face, cracks it over his back and hits a Tombstone to win… This finish pisses me off actually. What kinda dumbass booking is this? You can use chairs, just don’t punch him in the dick. So the Chairs Match is an even lamer stipulation that first presented is what you’re saying. Everything but chairs is illegal? Batista was robbed. He was right to be pissed after this.

My Rating: *

Match 6: Randy Orton def. Kofi Kingston (13:15)

Listen, I wouldn’t trade Kofi-Mania for anything, but god damn, I would’ve pulled the trigger on Kofi back then. This man marched right up to Randy’s locker room with Cody and Ted following behind him and told him right to his face that he’s a coward, he doesn’t deserve to have another WWE Title shot ever again and he looks forward to whooping his ass in their match. HOLY SHIT!!! How did they not push this guy… Oh yeah, Randy was an asshole in 2009, I forgot. Ironically enough, better than either of the matches they had in 2019. Randy tries to ground Kofi early, but can’t keep it up for very long. Both men wind up outside. Kofi ducks under a clothesline and climbs up the apron to the top rope and dives off, spinning his body, and Orton counters with a dropkick to the ribs. Orton starts targeting Kofi’s ribs and drops him on the barricade before throwing him back in the ring. Randy stomps on Kofi’s ribs and then starts taking his time, this portion is nothing special. But when Kofi starts to fight back, the match kicks up a notch. He hits an SOS and clotheslines Orton out of the ring before he hits Orton with a suicide dive, before throwing Orton back in to hit a crossbody. Commentary keeps going back to Kofi’s ribs and how Kofi could be making a mistake moving at this pace. Orton hits a backbreaker and sets up for the RKO. But once Kofi gets up, he dropkicks Orton, hits a Boom Drop and claps in the corner to set up for the Trouble in Paradise. And you think a counter is coming, but Kofi actually hits it and covers Orton. But Orton is too close to the ropes and reaches out to grab them. Orton rolls out and Kofi goes out to grab him and throw him back in. But Orton grabs Kofi by the head and hits a draping DDT. Instead of going for the RKO again, he opts to go for the Punt instead. He takes a run at Kofi. But Kofi gets his arm up in front of his face before Orton can hit him and Kofi starts clutches his arm in pain. Orton attacks his arm before he sets up for the RKO again. Kofi tries one more attack, and attempts a Trouble in Paradise. But Orton ducks under it and drops Kofi with an RKO to take the win. Even in defeat, Kofi showed he could hang with the main eventers. They should’ve pushed him back then.

My Rating: ***1/4

Main Event: Unified Tag Team Championship TLC Match - D-Generation X def. Big Show & Chris Jericho (c) (22:50)

I was really impressed with this match. I would expect nothing less from Shawn and Jericho. But Triple H and Big Show especially, aren’t ladder match guys, so it was a question whether they could work around those weaknesses. And they were able to do just that. It starts off like an attitude era match, with them brawling each other. Triple H and Big Show go up the ramp as Jericho and Michaels fight at ringside. Jericho sets up a table outside the ring which will come into play later. All four men wind up on stage. Jericho and Big Show beat down HHH, and HBK comes back out holding a chair and cracks into both Chris and Show. Big Show drops HBK with a headbutt. Jerishow go back to ringside try to prop a ladder into the ring. DX take both men out however and try to climb the ladder, but Big Show comes back in and grabs both members of DX off the ladder and beats them down himself. Jericho and Big Show prop a ladder up in the corner and slam Triple H into it upside, they hang HHH from the ladder with his leg pinched between the rungs. Then Big Show irish whips Michaels into HHH on the ladder. HHH starts to fight back and uses the ladder against them, swinging it into Big Show and throwing it onto Jericho outside. Big Show grabs HHH by the throat, going for the chokeslam. But HHH counters it into a DDT, setting him up so Shawn can hit an elbow from the top rope. Shawn tunes up the band, but Jericho runs back in and hits a Codebreaker to Michaels. He turns around into a Spinebuster from HHH, who then gets Speared by Big Show. Then Big Show, against his better judgment I'm assuming, grabs a ladder and starts trying to climb it himself. HHH comes in and cracks a chair across Show's back. But all that does is piss him off. And Big Show comes down and punches the chair back into HHH’s face. Shawn comes back in and DX pushes the ladder over together and Big Show goes throat first on the top rope. HHH hits Big Show with a Pedigree and both of them roll out of the ring while Shawn climbs a ladder. He almost has them, but Jericho comes back in and pushes the ladder over, sending Shawn out into the Big Show. And then Jericho starts the climb but gets stopped by HHH who powerbombs him off. HHH starts the climb now, but in comes Big Show again and chokeslams HHH off the ladder. Big Show grabs Shawn from the apron and brings him back in. Him and Jericho sandwich both of them between a ladder and slam the one side over their backs. But Big Show rips one half of it completely off. Big Show sends DX outside, and he just throws Shawn into HHH, sending them through a table propped up against the barricade. Jericho tells Big Show to come in, and gets on the top rope. Standing on Big Show's shoulders, Jericho has to balance and reach for the titles. But DX come back and with Big Show unable to defend himself, Shawn superkicks him and stumbles back with Jericho still on his shoulders. Jericho falls out of the ring, and misses his table spot buy his head hits the side and he kinda lands upside down against the legs of the table so it still looks good. DX use the broken ladder to send Big Show out of the ring. HHH places the ladder in the middle of the ring, and acts as the other side, holding it in place so Shawn can climb it and take down the titles. Damn this was good. Another underrated gem from this thread.

My Rating: ****

Cagematch Rating: 6.44

My Rating: 5/10

So despite the main event delivering, I am largely unimpressed by this event. There's a lot of boring and a lot of bad and one questionable choice of booking which I have a problem with. The two World Title matches were a lot worse than I thought. And they got way too much time between them. The end to the Chairs Match was dumb as hell. Batista was screwed. But it does have a few good matches on it so I can’t put this show among the worst.

 

[Chris]

The spot where Jericho tries to get the belt with the broken ladder and then by climbing Big Show is one of the funniest things he's ever done

 

[Jarf]

The spot where Jericho tries to get the belt with the broken ladder and then by climbing Big Show is one of the funniest things he's ever done

I bet that was his idea too lol

 

[Skyefire]

As I read this I am watching the Survivor Series from one month earlier. Drew McIntyre was being pushed big. He was Mr. McMahon's "Chosen One" which was kind of a kiss of death because look what that did for The New Breed and then later he, in a way, endorsed The Nexus by being attacked by them and it didn't do much for any of their careers. Drew and Morrison were on opposing teams at Survivor Series, though it was Sheamus picking up the pin on Morrison. Drew did get pins on Matt Hardy and Evan Borne.

 

[Jarf]

Drew McIntyre was being pushed big. He was Mr. McMahon's "Chosen One" which was kind of a kiss of death.

Austin Theory has entered the chat lol

 

[Skyefire]

Austin Theory has entered the chat lol

I did not think of him, but yeah, that's a good example as well.

 

[Jarf]

Hell in a Cell 2017

Match 1: SmackDown Tag Team Championship Hell in a Cell Match - The Usos def. The New Day (Big E. & Xavier) (c) (22:00)

This is the way you start a show off hot. This for me was the feud of 2017 and they put on their best match together here. And I think we can agree that no matter which combination of the New Day went up against the Usos, it would’ve been a banger. Right after the bell, all four men go out to grab weapons, but then they just end up using their fists instead. The first big spot of the night happens after Big E. misses a spear off the apron on Jey, who gets baseball slide kicked by Xavier. Jimmy dives over the ropes onto Xavier, before he gets back on the apron to get the spear from Big E. into the Cell. Less than 5 minutes into the match, this crowd is already chanting “this is awesome.” New Day starts having fun with Jey. Big E. hands him things like a couple trombones, a cowbell and a gong that he uses against him. They set Jey up for the UpUpDownDown, but Jimmy tosses a chair at Xavier’s head. The Usos now have the upper hand and beat on Big E. with kendo sticks, before they go outside and beat up Xavier. They come back in to get thrown around by Big E. E. and Jimmy go outside to the apron, where E. catches Jimmy in a uranage, throwing him to the floor where Xavier slides in so Jimmy lands on his knees. They bring Jimmy back in the ring and hit him with the UUDD, but Jey saves the match and ends up paying for it. Using kendo sticks, New Day traps him in a corner by bridging the canes between the two sides of the cell. And as if to add insult to injury, Xavier just tosses a piece of one of the broken trombones at him. New Day lays Jimmy out against the steps while Xavier climbs the ring post, clearing having something terrible in mind, but Jey escapes and saves his brudda. Jey superkicks Xavier. Big E. gets back on the apron, takes a kick to the face from Jimmy. E. falls back seated on the shoulders of Jey, holding him up so Jimmy can dive through the middle rope and and does sort of like a doomsday device into the Cell. They throw Big E. back in and both Usos hit him with a double Splash and Big E. kicks out at 2! The Usos grab a pair of handcuffs and cuffs Xavier’s hands together. They hang the cuffs over the ring posts so Xavier can’t go anywhere as The Usos just lay into him with kendo sticks over and over. All while Kofi is standing right outside and can only watch. After beating up Xavier they get back in the ring and Jimmy looks out at Kofi before he points the cane he has at E. He runs at Big E. who throws Jimmy over his head to the outside. He swats away the cane Jey had and belly to bellies him before he goes outside to grab Jimmy. Picking him up and running with him into the Cell wall. Kofi is running with him by the way which is kinda funny and he’s yelling “make him pay!” Big E. picks Jimmy up again and runs with him into Jey who was up against the Cell. E. brings Jimmy back in and hits him with a Big Ending for a 2 count. Jey comes back in and tries a superkick, but gets caught and put in a stretch muffler. Jimmy superkicks E. to save Jey before the brothers superkick him together. They go up and hit him with another double splash. 1, 2. Xavier saves it! With his hands still cuffed. Woods is now by himself though and now the Usos start laying into him with kendo stick shots. Woods attempts to fight back with a headbutt but they ultimately bring him onto his back with shot after shot. They place a steel chair on his torso before they hit him with a double splash, Jey covers and now we have a 3 count. What a match!

My Rating: ****1/2

Match 2: Randy Orton def. Rusev (17:00)

Well that was fun, now it’s time to watch a dragfest. Now if you recall, Orton beat Rusev in less than 10 seconds at SummerSlam… Because Vince had it out for Rusev for some reason. Now, Rusev Day was just starting to take off and Rusev was starting to get over. So of course, Vince was like “No one gets over on my watch pal.” And booked him to lose this match. I will say, Rusev at least was on top most of the match, so he did get that. Orton tries an RKO very early, but Rusev saw it coming and quickly got out of there. Rusev is able to take firm control after he knocks Orton off the apron into the barricade. Rusev is on top and Randy gets little comebacks here and there before Rusev snuffs him out again. Orton for the RKO again, but Rusev throws him off and gets caught in a powerslam instead. But the main thing is Rusev is very wary of the RKO this time. Rusev kicks Orton in the shoulderblades and then tries to put the Accolade on him, but Orton literally slithers like a snake out of the ring. Rusev goes out and hits him with an around the world machka kick. Rusev tosses Orton back in the ring and tries a splash from the second rope and I was like “Here it comes, the RKO.” But no, Orton moves and Rusev eats shit on the mat. Orton hits Rusev with a draping DDT and pounds his fists, ready for an RKO. But he gets to close to Rusev, who grabs his wrists, holding onto them as he gets in position for the Accolade, but Orton escapes behind him again and now hits him with an RKO for the win. Even though I’m annoyed Rusev lost again, I do like how they each went for their big moves and each of them had it scouted several times. I would probably rate this higher but it’s pretty boring for 17 minutes.

My Rating: **3/4

Match 3: United States Championship Triple Threat Match - Baron Corbin def. AJ Styles (c) & Tye Dillinger (19:00)

Really good match. I think adding Tye Dillinger to it added a much needed difference. Not that I don’t think Styles and Corbin couldn’t have a decent match. Styles and Dillinger attack Corbin together pretty much immediately, before facing off themselves. Corbin asserts his dominance soon and starts beating up both men. This next several minutes is pretty lame apart from one well done spot. Corbin tries to stop Dillinger from getting back in. Tye leaps into the ring, Corbin slides under the ropes. Tye tries to monkey flip AJ, who lands on his feet. Corbin comes in and clotheslines Tye in the corner. AJ runs at him, Corbin throws him over his head into Tye back in the corner. Before Corbin grabs AJ and just throws him under the ropes into the ring post. Then its back to basic ass Corbin grounding his opponents. Styles finally starts to give Corbin a challenge and brings the big man to the ground. Styles drops the ropes on Corbin who flies out, and is then taken out by a sliding knee from AJ. Styles gets back in and now its him and Dillinger. Styles goes for a Styles Clash, but Tye picks AJ up in a fireman’s carry, but Styles counters from that into a Styles Clash position. Tye escapes that with a foot to the head. Dillinger gets caught in a Calf Crusher. As Dillinger reaches for the ropes, Corbin gets back up and grabs Dillinger, pulling him out of the ring. Corbin takes Styles out outside before throwing Tye back in the ring and drops him with a deep six. Styles goes for a Forearm, but Corbin catches him by the throat and drops him with a chokeslam for a 2 count. The next sequence of events is kinda sick actually. Dillinger and AJ are standing in corners and Corbin hits them with running clotheslines. Styles ducks under Corbin and hits Tye with a flying clothesline in the corner before he runs back over and hits Corbin with one. He tries to hit Tye again, who ducks and hits Corbin with a running chop in the corner. He goes to give one to AJ, who kicks him. Dillinger rears back and drops Corbin with a superkick. He gives one to AJ too, but Styles turns and hits Dillinger with a pele kick. Tye falls backward onto Corbin and the referee counts 2. Styles almost caused himself to lose the title. AJ gives Corbin a nice springboard 450 and the match is saved by Dillinger. AJ and Dillinger go at it. Just a minor detail that Dillinger has been selling his leg since the Calf Crusher, just wanted to put that out. AJ kicks Tye in the leg. Tye stumbles back to the corner, and catches Styles in a fireman’s carry again. AJ lands on the apron and rocks Tye with a Phenomenal Forearm. Corbin comes back in though and literally boots AJ out of the ring before he pins Tye to win the US Title. Really enjoyable match.

My Rating: ***3/4

Match 4: SmackDown Women's Championship Match - Charlotte Flair def. Natalya (c) via DQ (13:00)

Largely unimpressed by this match. It’s pretty boring. These two just didn’t click. Natalya pretty early on goes after Charlotte’s knee and that is basically this whole match. Most of this match, Nattie targets Charlotte’s knee. Charlotte eventually starts to fight back with chops and throws Nattie towards the corner. But she starts to go up for a moonsault on one good knee. But Nattie grabs Charlotte and hits her with a sitout powerbomb for 2. Natalya eventually puts the Sharpshooter on Charlotte, this is like 10 minutes into the match by the way. This match was so uneventful. Charlotte is able to escape by slipping through Nattie’s legs and pushing her head first into the bottom turnbuckle. Charlotte goes to the top rope again, but Natalya rolls out this time and Charlotte has to move all the way to another corner just to hit it. So I’m assuming Nattie stood there like a fool so she could take it. And then of course… DQ. Nattie grabs a chair and hits Charlotte with it. DQ finish. It doesn’t exactly break my heart though, thats how bad this match was.

My Rating: **

Match 5: WWE Championship Match - Jinder Mahal (c) def. Shinsuke Nakamura (12:00)

I could not believe they were doing this match again. I thought the only reason to do this match again was so they could pull the trigger on Nakamura. I was so confident Shinsuke was winning. Just like I was at SummerSlam. You think I would’ve learned my lesson. But never understand the stupidity of one senile old man. This match was as bad as the SummerSlam match. Like holy balls, I was falling asleep. Jinder takes control of the match after he goes outside and shoves Shinsuke into the ring post. And then for the next several minutes, starts laying on Nakamura. You are not missing anything for a while. And then I started to think they’re having the same match they had at SummerSlam. Of course, once Nakamura starts making a comeback, what do you think happens? Is it A. The Singh Brothers try to interfere. B. The Singh Brothers perform a song and dance. Or is it C? The Singh Brothers interfere but wearing cool hats. You guessed it, the answer was A! Because how the fuck could it not be. The referee eventually makes them leave and in the ring, Shinsuke drops Jinder with a Kinshasa, that Jinder is able to grab the bottom rope off of. Jinder tries to run away after that. But Shinsuke chases him and brings him back to the ring. He throws Jinder back in the ring and Jinder grabs Shinsuke before he can get back in and tries to hit the Kallas. But Shinsuke escapes and goes for the Kinshasa again, but Jinder dodges and Shin hits the turnbuckle instead. Allowing Jinder to hit the Kallas and for the second time… defeat Shinsuke Nakamura… Fuck. On the bright side I think this is the last Jinder Mahal WWE Title Match I will have to watch, so at least we’ve finally crossed that bridge.

My Rating: *1/2

Match 6: Bobby Roode def. Dolph Ziggler (12:00)

I wanna say the cool down match, but that would imply that Vince thought that last match would be good, and if that’s the case, he’s even more sick than I thought he is. This was an okay match, but the crowd was pretty dead for it and the match doesn’t actually start to pick up until halfway through. Because Dolph was just laying on Roode. Roode starts to make a comeback after Dolph’s shoulder hits the ring post. Roode attempts to hit a Glorious DDT, but Dolph back drops him on the mat, and sits down on him for a pin, but Roode kicks out and gets a leaping DDT for this trouble. Roode also manages to kick out of a Fameasser. Then Dolph gets up and stands in the corner, tuning up the band like he’s Shawn Michaels. Roode sidesteps him and hits a spinebuster on Dolph. Roode looks to finish this match with the Glorious DDT, but Dolph escapes and rolls up Roode. Roode kicks out and Dolph stumbles over to a corner, where Roode meets him and Ziggler rolls up Roode again, but Roode rolls back and is pinning Dolph now and they continue to do this back and forth until Roode pins Dolph with a handful of tights. Uneventful match. Could’ve done without it.

My Rating: **1/2

Main Event: Hell in a Cell Falls Count Anywhere Match - Kevin Owens def. Shane McMahon (39:00)

Some people may feel like I overrated this match. But I don’t care. I thought this was awesome. It had a slow pace but this match was more about the drama than it was about action. There was no way they could top the earlier Cell Match in that aspect anyway. Gotta say though, the Falls Count Anywhere bit of this doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. The point of Hell in a Cell is to keep the guys in the cage isn’t it? But whatever. Before KO can get in the ring, Shane baseball slide kicks him out of the cage and the bell rings. The match begins outside the cell. Both men get inside and the door is padlocked shut. From here, Owens starts beating down Shane, grinding his face into the Cell right in front of Shane's kids. Kevin goes for a senton off the top but Shane gets his knees up. Shane goes up and attempts a shooting star press but eats shit as Owens dodged it. KO goes for a Pop-Up Powerbomb that Shane reverses into a triangle choke. Owens rolls outside in order to escape, but Shane just puts it back on him and Kevin drops Shane on the steel steps sitting there on the outside. Owens takes a table out from under the ring and props it up against the cell. He lays Shane across and goes for a senton off the apron, but Shane moved out of harm’s way so Owens goes through the table. Shane grabs a trash can from under the ring and takes KO back in the ring so he can go Coast to Coast! Owens gets his foot on the rope to stop the count. Shane then decides he's sick of being in this cage and he finds bolt cutters from under the ring and cuts the chain right off. Shane takes Owens out of the cage and they proceed towards the announcers tables. Owens takes apart one of the tables and lays Shane out across one before he goes up and looks like he's going to jump. But he chickens out and it eventually allows Shane to recover and he goes up the cage. With both men at the top of this cage, they make 19 year old Jarf's heart stop for about 5 minutes. They fought up there for a good bit and every bump they took up there was anxiety inducing. Kevin at one point tries to toss Shane off the cell. Owens decides to climb back down, but Shane catches him and climbs down to Kevin's level. Kevin falls off the cage and crashes through a table below! Shane looks like he’s gonna cover KO. But Shane decides against it in favor of jumping off something really high. Shane picks him up and sits him on the one remaining table, gives him a headbutt and climbs back up the cell. Shane looks down at Kevin, sprawled out on the table… Shane jumps and hits the table, but not Kevin Owens. And then the camera pans over… to Sami Zayn! They call down medics to help Shane but Sami drags Kevin's body over on top of Shane's and forces the referee to count. 1, 2, 3. Kevin Owens wins after one of the most dramatic matches I’ve ever seen and I mean that in a good way. Is it as good as the opener? Not in my opinion. But this was a great match in it's own right. No joke, when they pan over to Sami, my jaw hit the floor. What a good finish.

My Rating: ****1/4

Cagematch Rating: 6.44

My Rating: 6.5/10

The Cagematch rating is where I would place it too. This show produced two of the best Cell Matches of the PG era, and an overlooked Triple Threat to boot. However, the rest of the card really drags the show down. They quite literally felt like a drag to sit through. One thing I'd like to point out that they did get right though, was that both Cell Matches featured that felt like they at least belonged in the Cell, which is more than I can say for most Cell matches featured on this PPV. So bravo there.

 

[Skyefire]

I'd love to see a New Day vs Usos match as part of the New Day's celebration episode of Raw coming up. One of the greatest tag team rivalries of all time. Shinsuke Nakamura just highlights how WWE has failed Japanese wrestlers over the years. Starting with the evil Japanese villains (many of whom were not even Japanese) to Kaientai and Tajiri, to Nakamura. They eventually made Asuka successful but she could have been booked better. Makes it a no-brainer for Kazuchika Okada to choose AEW over WWE. With Kevin Owens vs Shane McMahon I was originally hoping to see a pinfall (or at least a pinfall attempt) on the top of the cell.