Reviewing every WWE PPV in order from worst to best

[Jarf]

The Wrestling Classic (1985)

After getting only 4 hours of sleep and having to work a 9 hour opening shift, I had to come home and watch this snoozefest. So please bear with me as I go through this terrible show.

Match 1: Round One Tournament Match - Adrian Adonis def. Corporal Kirchner (3:21)

So, this tournament which has absolutely no stakes and no rewards whatsoever starts with a very boring match. Thankfully it’s short, but it’s really just the two of them headlocking each other. Adonis pins Kirchner, who kicks out at 3.1.

My Rating: *1/4

Match 2: Round One Tournament Match - Dynamite Kid def. Nikolai Volkoff (0:08)

Volkoff sings the Russian national anthem and Dynamite hits a missile dropkick from the top rope to pin Volkoff.

No Rating

Match 3: Round One Tournament Match - Randy Savage def. Ivan Putski (2:48)

Ivan Putski is your typical wrestler from this time period. Flex, throw his opponent around and punches. That’s pretty much this match, until Savage gets Putski in a deep pin with his feet on the ropes.

My Rating: 1/2*

Match 4: Round One Tournament Match - Ricky Steamboat def. Davey Boy Smith via referee’s decision (2:55)

The first of many strange finishes of the night. They were rocking for a bit, but Davey Boy goes for a crossbody on Steamboat, who moves out of the way and crotches himself on the ropes and then the ref calls for the bell? Davey Boy hurts his dick so bad that he can’t continue. That’s what the finish is. What a stellar show this is so far.

My Rating: **

Match 5: Round One Tournament Match - Junkyard Dog def. Iron Sheik (3:26)

Sheik gets the jump on JYD before the bell rings and tries to put him out quickly. Even gets the Camel Clutch on him, but JYD makes a comeback with a headbutt which takes Sheik out and JYD pins him for the three.

My Rating: **

Match 6: Round One Tournament Match - Moondog Spot def. Terry Funk via countout (0:27)

If the purpose of this was to make Terry Funk look like an idiot, then good job. Terry cuts a promo before the match trying to convince Spot to walk out with him and they’ll get counted out together. Okay? But Funk knocks Spot down from behind and runs back to the ring, but Spot pulls him down, and goes for a punch but Funk throws him over his shoulder, back into the ring so Funk gets counted out while Spot wins by countout. Former NWA World Champion, Terry Funk… Interesting.

No Rating

Match 7: Round One Tournament Match - Tito Santana def. Don Muraco (4:19)

This match was going well for a bit. It was fairly even but it has yet another fucky finish. Muraco pins Tito 1, 2, 3. But apparently, Tito’s foot was under the ropes (pretty sure it wasn’t actually) the ref waves it off and Muraco thinks he’s won, but Tito turns him around and rolls him up in a small package to win.

My Rating: **1/4

Match 8: Round One Tournament Match - Paul Orndorff def. Bob Orton via DQ (6:30)

This match wasn’t so bad, but it has yet another stupid finish. Orndorff tosses Orton around for a bit, before Orton takes control. Orndorff eventually fights back, and Orton hits Orndorff with the cast… in full view of the referee and then tries to pin him, but the ref calls for the bell and awards the match to Orndorff via DQ.

My Rating: **3/4

Match 9: Quarter-Final Tournament Match - Dynamite Kid def. Adrian Adonis (5:27)

This is another average match but it doesn’t go anywhere. And guess what, we have another fucky finish because when Dynamite pins Adonis, Adonis’ foot is on the middle rope. This show is so weirdly booked.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 10: Quarter-Final Tournament Match - Randy Savage def. Ricky Steamboat (3:19)

If there was any match they should’ve given 10 minutes to, it was this one. A decent match for being only 3 minutes, but another one which doesn’t go anywhere. Steamboat kicks Savage’s ass the whole match before Savage pulls a pair of brass knuckles out from his tights and as Steamboat is back suplexing him into the ring, Savage hits him in the face with the knucks.

My Rating: **3/4

Match 11: Quarter-Final Tournament Match - Junkyard Dog def. Moondog Spot (0:45)

This is only 45 seconds but somehow it has the fuckiest finish yet. I don’t even notice there’s no referee until the end when JYD counts his own pin. And is declared the winner anyway? Huh? I don’t think… that’s official.

No Rating

Match 12: Quarter-Final Tournament Match - Tito Santana vs. Paul Orndorff ended in a double countout (8:06)

This has a little bit of a story, but it’s so damn boring. Santana comes in with a bandaged leg and he begins selling it 4 minutes in and Orndorff (who is also a babyface here) doesn’t take advantage right away. Orndorff eventually gives in (which he should do) and goes after Tito’s leg. That’s about the most exciting thing that happens in this match because it’s just headlocks and leg locks. Jesus Christ. They end up brawling outside the ring and they both get counted out. Junkyard Dog gets a bye to the finals.

My Rating: *

Match 13: WWF Championship Match - Hulk Hogan (c) def. Roddy Piper via DQ (7:14)

This match isn’t so bad either, it starts out being a brawl and the ultimate battle of good vs. evil. But it soon transitions to Piper putting Hogan in a Sleeper for 3 minutes, but Hogan fights out of it and puts his own Sleeper on Piper. Bob Orton runs down and hits Hogan in the back with his cast, causing a DQ. Paul Orndorff runs down next and with a chair, chases off Piper and Orton.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 14: Semi-Final Tournament Match - Randy Savage def. Dynamite Kid (4:52)

FINALLY! I FINALLY FOUND A GOOD MATCH ON THIS SHOW! It’s nothing spectacular but compared to the rest of this card, it’s a fucking godsend. It has a nice finish where Savage goes to the top rope and he’s dropkicked by Dynamite, causing Savage to get crotched. Dynamite goes up there with him and hits a top rope superplex, but after landing, Savage hooks Dynamite’s legs with his own and the referee counts the pin. Savage advances to the finals.

My Rating: ***

After this, they give out a Rolls Royce to a lucky winner and this is the point where I start to go insane. 2 hours of terrible, boring, short matches with no excitement and I just want this show to be over and they waste my time even more with this rolls royce giveaway that I don’t give a shit about! Ahhhhhh!

Main Event: Tournament Final Match - Junkyard Dog def. Randy Savage via countout (9:44)

Junkyard Dog beats on Savage for a few minutes, but Savage turns it around and elbow drops JYD on the floor 3 times. Then he hits JYD with a chair… that should’ve been a DQ, but it’s not for some reason. JYD back drops Savage over the top rope and Savage can’t make it back in the ring and JYD wins the most prestigious tournament of all time… And I breathe a sigh of relief.

My Rating: *1/2

Cagematch Rating: 3.75

My Rating: 1/10

I don’t know how it took me this long to get to this show, because the fact that it’s as high as it is tells me that not enough people have seen it and I envy those people. Do you know how bad a show has to be to be worse than King of the Ring ‘95? That show also had a tournament and had a bad winner, but at least there were stakes. What was the point of this tournament? Matter of fact, what was the point of this whole show? Who was this show supposed to get over? Junkyard Dog maybe, but he was already one of the most popular wrestlers on their roster at the time, so why would he need to win this? And what does he get for winning this tournament? A shot at Hulk Hogan’s WWF Title? Nope, he just gets to say he won a tournament. Good for him I guess. The Rolls Royce segment is what cemented it as a worse show than King of the Ring for me. This show was only 2 and a half hours long, but it that’s honestly too long and it happened at the point where I was just over it. If I were being interrogated, they would just have to play me this show and I would talk. If this review comes off as lazy, then it fits with the show being reviewed.

Thank fuck that’s over. Next up is Armageddon 2004. Which I’m sure will feel like the greatest show ever compared to this one.

 

[Jarf]

Armageddon 2004

Match 1: WWE Tag Team Championship Match - Rey Mysterio & Rob Van Dam (c) def. Rene Dupree & Kenzo Suzuki (17:11)

This was a good match to start the show. Rene and Kenzo’s inexperience shows in this match, but Rey and Rob manage to carry their green challengers to a good match. First of all, Rey and Rob’s chemistry as a team is awesome. They had creative double team moves galore. It starts being fast paced which favored the champions, but Rene and Kenzo take control and isolate Rey from Rob for a while. Rey eventually makes the tag to Rob and this match is rocking once again. Rey hits Rene with a 619 and then dives onto Kenzo on the outside, allowing RVD to hit the 5 Star Frog Splash on Rene to get the win. Very good way to start the show.

My Rating: ***1/2

Match 2: Kurt Angle def. Santa Claus (0:25)

No, you read that right. Angle hands a special invitational to the one, the only, Santa Claus! Angle tells Santa he hates him because his daughter loves Santa more than him, so Angle gives Santa the Angle Slam and locks in the Ankle Lock to make Santa tap out.

No Rating

Match 3: Dixie Dog Fight - Daniel Puder def. Mike Mizanin (5:06)

This is just a boxing match, I don’t know why they called it a Dixie Dog Fight. It is not good at all. I’m not sure if it was a legit fight or if it was a little planned, but either way, this was terrible. Neither man knocks the other out, but Puder wins via the crowd cheering for him louder.

My Rating: DUD

Match 4: The Basham Brothers def. Charlie Haas & Hardcore Holly (6:50)

This match is just to get over another match happening later. It’s such a boring match though and the crowd agrees with me because they chant boring. So, Charlie Haas is gonna be back later because he’s the guest referee in a match between his fiance, Miss Jackie and Dawn Marie, who’s rumored to be having an affair with Charlie. Dawn and Jackie both come down and Charlie gets between them and the Basham do the twin magic spot and one of them gets Holly in a small package to win.

My Rating: *1/2

Match 5: United States Championship Street Fight - John Cena (c) def. Jesus (7:51)

Man, this was just a murder. The story here is that somebody stabbed John Cena in the kidneys in a nightclub and Jesus (no, not Christ) was rumored to be the man. Jesus was Carlito’s bodyguard, so Carlito came out with him. Carlito spits in Cena’s face, which activates Cena’s kill mode and he annihilates Jesus! Carlito passes a kendo stick to Jesus, who hits Cena in the kidney with it. And that is the only offence Jesus gets in this match. For the last 7 minutes, Cena brutalizes him. He beats him with the kendo stick, he busts him open. He throws him into the crowd. Cena finally puts Jesus out of his misery with an FU.

My Rating: *1/2

Match 6: Singles Match with Charlie Haas as Special Referee - Dawn Marie def. Miss Jackie (1:55)

Somehow better than the actual boxing match earlier. These two were fighting. They weren’t throwing good punches but it was still more entertaining than that Dixie Dog Fight. It doesn’t go very long, Marie rolls Jackie up and Charlie counts the pin. He grabs a mic and admits that the rumors of an affair with Dawn Marie were true. He dumps Jackie right there in the ring and admits Dawn Marie is a better lay than her. He brings out Jackie’s engagement ring, gets down on his knees and asks Dawn…. Why is she such a slut? Charlie then says “I wouldn’t marry either of you.” Then leaves. Okay. I didn’t know I was watching Days of Our Lives.

My Rating: *

Match 7: 3-on-1 Handicap Match - Big Show def. Kurt Angle, Luther Reigns & Mark Jindrak (10:02)

GET ME SOME OF THEM PEAS! I’VE HAD PEAS BEFORE!!! Big Show starts by tossing around his three smaller opponents, but Jindrak and Reigns double team Big Show, and then Kurt Angle gets in the ring. They spend most of the match going after Big Show’s ribs. But Big Show eventually fights them off and beats Jindrak with an F5. No joke, he does an F5 to Jindrak to pick up the win. Okay. Weird finish but I’m okay with it.

My Rating: **

Match 8: Cruiserweight Championship Match - Funaki def. Spike Dudley (c) (9:38)

An average match here, that wasn’t too shabby. Funaki teases a superplex to the outside, but Spike throws him off and Funaki crashes to the outside chest first, which got a “holy shit” out of me. Spike works over Funaki’s midsection for a bit, but Funaki fights back into it. He eventually gets a leverage pin on Spike to win become the Cruiserweight Champion. I have to say, after taking such a nasty bump, and still coming back to win, this made Funaki look awesome.

My Rating: **3/4

Main Event: WWE Championship Fatal 4-Way Match - JBL (c) def. The Undertaker, Eddie Guerrero & Booker T (25:38)

Before we get to this match, we see JBL looking down at his championship solemnly. His cabinet members are banned from ringside. If the Bashams or Orlando Jordan interfere, JBL will be stripped of his title, so JBL is on his own for this match. This segment was great. JBL’s cabinet members each tell him that he’s going to win, but it doesn’t seem like any of them believe what they’re saying. JBL runs out of the ring at the beginning and goes for a pinfall whenever he can get an opportunity. Undertaker kicks ass and takes names for a while, beating down his three opponents. JBL puts Booker T through one of the announce tables with a powerbomb, which doesn’t break it, but the elbow drop following that does. Then Undertaker puts JBL through the spanish announce table with a Last Ride. Eddie sees this happen in the ring, and he plays possum. Booker and JBL are down, Undertaker’s thinking it’s over from here, but Eddie gets out of Tombstone, but can’t avoid the Chokeslam. Undertaker then goes for a Last Ride, but Eddie grabs the WWE Title sitting in the ring and hits Taker in the head with it. Then he hits two Frog Splashes and goes for a pin, but Undertaker kicks out and sits up. Eddie low blows Taker, before bringing a ladder in the ring and hitting a Frog Splash from the top of the ladder! All 4 men get back in the ring, but Undertaker once again shows his dominance by taking out Booker and Eddie before going for a Tombstone on JBL, but he’s stopped by Heidenreich, who puts the boots to Undertaker. JBL goes for a pin on Booker, he kicks out. Then goes for a pin on Eddie, who also kicks out. Then he goes for a pin on Taker, who sits up. But Heidenreich pulls Taker out of the ring and puts him in a Cobra Clutch. JBL hits a Clothesline From Hell on Booker to escape with his championship.

My Rating: ***3/4

Cagematch Rating: 3.75

My Rating: 4/10

Both the opening match and the main event were very good, but the rest of the show is so boring and the start and the end can only carry this show so far.

Next up is the first PPV of the Attitude Era. A UK show, Capital Carnage.

 

[Jarf]

Capital Carnage (1998)

I might get some hate for this, but I don’t think the Attitude Era was that great. It has it’s great moments and its has some of the most talented main eventers of all time. But this show is an example of why I think it’s overrated. This PPV relies on its main event to sell the show. You can’t say it didn’t work. PPV buys were through the roof for this company at the time, but the undercard suffers for it.

Match 1: Gangrel def. Al Snow (5:54)

Now this is what I’m talking about. This match was not very good. These two really mess up some spots here. Gangrel tries to duck under Al as he leaps over, but Gangrel ends up headbutting Al’s balls instead. These two never found a steady rhythm. Thankfully it doesn’t go very long. Edge and Christian, Gangrel’s fellow broodmates come down to the ring. Christian gets up on the apron to distract the ref, but it just allows Al Snow to give Gangrel head. But after Al gives some head, Edge hits Snow with a missile dropkick from the top rope, and Gangrel pins him to win.

My Rating: *1/2

Match 2: The Headbangers def. LOD 2000 (3:21)

Not Hawk and Animal. Animal and Droz. This was the time when WWF for some reason decided to fuck with the Road Warrior’s dynamic and replace Hawk with Droz. They wrote Hawk off TV 2 weeks before in a pretty awful angle where Hawk almost commits sucide, and Droz pushes him off the tron. Droz tries to cheat to win this match, he rolls Animal out of the ring and do the twin magic spot even though Droz has more tattoos and isn’t as buff as Animal. It’s still enough to fool the referee as Mosh (or Thrasher) rolls up Droz to win the match. Droz and Animal fight after the match is over and that’s the end of LOD 2000.

My Rating: *3/4

Match 3: Val Venis def. Goldust (5:35)

This match was actually decent I think. It wasn’t a technical match, these two just wanted to beat the crap out of each other. Val Venis slept with Goldust’s wife months ago and that’s the reason they hate each other. I love a brawl and that’s what these two did, was just brawl. The match ends when Goldust attempts Shattered Dreams, but Venis pulls the referee in front of him, Venis reaches around and rolls up Goldust to win. Goldust gets the last word in as he still hits Shattered Dreams on Val.

My Rating: ***

After this match, Vince, Shane, Gerald Brisco and Pat Patterson come out. Patterson says that The Rock will be defending the WWF Title against X-Pac and not Triple H, who was he originally supposed to face. Shane then implies that George Michael’s boyfriend is Vinnie Jones, who is in the backstage area. Shane then makes a few homophobic jokes that sure as hell wouldn’t fly today. Vince then takes the mic and cuts a promo on England for 10 damn minutes. I don’t actually know if it was 10, but it went way too long however long it was! Vince just goes on and on and on and on and just won’t shut the fuck up. This is the most boring “you people” promo I’ve ever seen! After what feels like 3 hours, this segment is finally over. But legend says that Vince is still cutting this promo to this day.

Match 4: Tiger Ali Singh def. Edge (2:54)

If nobody knows who Tiger Ali Singh is, he’s basically the Jinder Mahal of his time. And boy oh boy did he suck. Edge basically outclasses him this whole match and kicks his ass. Tiger ends up cheating to win, putting his feet on the rope. Tiger tries to continue attacking Edge after the match, but Edge sends him out of the ring with a clothesline.

My Rating: 1/2*

Match 5: Mixed Tag Team Match - Sable & Christian def. Jacqueline & Marc Mero (4:50)

What a confusing match this was. Mero had already dumped Jacqueline at this point and Mero had lost a match to Duane Gill on Raw where he said if he lost, he would leave the WWF. So why this match is happening, I don’t know. Jim Ross say they have to fulfill their contractual obligations. This match sucks. The rules are a little inconsistent too, because Sable powerbombs Mero despite the rules saying men have to fight the men and the women have to fight the women. Jacqueline gets in and Sable takes her down with the Dark Order punches. In other words, he fists don’t come close to connecting. Christian chases Mero to the back and Sable beats Jacqueline in the ring. Jacqueline attacks the referee after the match, and the ref ends up lifting her onto this shoulders, where Sable rips her top off and gives the London crowd quite a show.

My Rating: DUD

Match 6: Intercontinental Championship Match - Ken Shamrock (c) def. Steve Blackman (6:51)

Big Boss Man comes down with Shamrock in this match. Ken and Blackman start kicking each other’s ass, but it quickly becomes Shamrock just sitting on Blackman. He puts Blackman in a front facelock that he has on for a while. Blackman eventually fights back into the match and hits Boss Man on the outside with a baseball slide. Boss Man gets back at him when Blackman runs the ropes and Boss Man hits Steve in the ankle with his nightstick. Shamrock then puts Blackman in the Ankle Lock to make the lethal weapon tap out.

My Rating: **

Match 7: Triple H def. Jeff Jarrett (6:55)

Debra comes down with Jarrett and Chyna comes down with Triple H. Jeff is in control of the match briefly, and Debra gets involved a couple times, but Chyna is there to keep that minimal. Triple H eventually gets back into the match and he sends Jarrett to the outside with a clothesline. Debra tries to distract Triple H, but Chyna gets on the apron and the referee tries to make her get down. Debra gets in behind the ref’s back and distracts Triple H while Jarrett slides into the ring with a chair, but Chyna moves around to the other side, grabs the chair out of Jarrett’s hands and Triple H hits the Pedigree to get the win. Nothing great, just an average match.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 8: WWF Tag Team Championship Match - The New Age Outlaws (c) def. Mark Henry & D’Lo Brown (10:11)

This match starts with The Outlaws pushing D’Lo around, but when Mark Henry gets in, the tides turn. The Outlaws knock him down together with a double dropkick. Road Dogg gets tagged back in and he gets his ass kicked by Henry and D’Lo. Henry flattens Road Dogg with a legdrop, and Billy runs in to break up the pin. Then he drags Road Dogg over to their corner to tag himself in and then he starts going off on Henry and D’Lo. Including hitting Henry with a hard clothesline that takes the big man down. Billy wins this match for his team with a piledriver on D’Lo.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 9: WWF Championship Match - The Rock (c) def. X-Pac via DQ (12:33)

I’m tired of the X-Pac slander. X-Pac was great. The match starts fast early with X-Pac throwing his feet around, kicking the Rock. Rock goes to the outside, grabs his title and a mic and says “to hell with X-Pac and to hell with England, I’m outta here.” Then he tries to leave, but Triple H and Chyna are back and block his way out. X-Pac runs up and brings The Rock back to the ring. Rock takes control of the match and hits a Corporate Elbow and X-Pac kicks out of it. Rock tries to go for a Rock Bottom, but Triple H distracts the referee and Chyna gets in to low blow Rock. Rock shortly takes control back goes outside to grab his title, and plans to use it on X-Pac. But Triple H grabs X-Pac’s European Championship and hits Rock with it while the referee is down. X-Pac gets one arm over The Rock and the referee makes his way over to count the pin but the Rock kicks out. Rock goes outside the ring and shoves Chyna, and Triple H runs over to her rescue and puts the boots to him in view of the referee causing a DQ. The Rock retains his title, and Triple H and X-Pac continue beating him down until Ken Shamrock runs down to save him.

My Rating: ***

Main Event: Fatal 4-Way Match with Gerald Brisco as Special Referee - Steve Austin def. The Undertaker, Kane & Mankind (16:12)

Vince, Shane, Patterson, Boss Man and Brisco are all out here as some guest (insert title here). Boss Man is the Special Enforcer for this match and Vinnie Jones makes his way out and shoves Boss Man out of the ring. But Brisco pulls out a red card and makes Vinnie go to the back. Mankind makes his entrance first, followed by Kane, who Mankind attacks and the bell rings. So Undertaker does his entrance after the match has already started. He tosses Mankind and Kane both out of the ring when Glass Shatters and the crowd goes nuts for Stone Cold. Undertaker meets him halfway up the entrance way and they start brawling. This match has a weird start but it fits the chaotic nature of this match. And that’s what this was, was chaotic. This was just a big brawl between 4 guys and I thought it was pretty entertaining. On paper, this match sounds awesome and I was enjoying myself. Of course, Gerald Brisco being one of Vince’s stooges doesn’t count the pin whenever Austin goes for a pin. There’s a pretty entertaining spot where Undertaker is choking Mankind with a cable. Kane comes up from behind and starts choking Taker with it. Then Austin comes over and he starts choking Kane with it. This match has pretty much no story to it other than Austin and Undertaker want to destroy each other. But this match was good enough that I didn’t care. Austin and Mankind momentarily work together to take down Kane. Mankind tries to hug Austin and shake his hand, but Austin gives him double middle fingers and starts beating his ass. I thought that was good. This match is really just these 4 guys doing whatever they can think of and I loved it. Austin hits the first Stunner on Kane and has the match won, but Brisco once again won’t count the pin. Austin punches Brisco’s lights out and Earl Hebner runs down to officiate. Austin ends up htting Kane with another Stunner to get the win. Brisco comes back in and hits Hebner, but he eats a Stunner. Boss Man comes in the ring to check on Brisco but Vinnie Jones comes back out and knocks down Boss Man again, then Hebner gets back up and starts putting the boots to Boss Man which I thought was pretty funny. The show ends with Austin, Vinnie and Hebner all sharing some beers. I thought this was a fun way to end the show.

My Rating: ***1/2

Cagematch Rating: 3.79

My Rating: 4/10

This show ended really fun but the storylines were so confusing. This show didn’t advance any stories they already had going. It really feels like they just threw a random card together. Like I said, Attitude Era PPVs always relied on their main events to be good, and just throw any random match that they can think of on the undercard. So if this main event was bad, my rating for this show as a whole would’ve been lower. I can’t say it’s worth watching anything under it to get to that point. But it's gets higher than other shows for not pissing me off.

Up next… Tables, Ladders, and Chairs… and Stairs? Oh my?

 

[Jarf]

TLC 2014

Match 1: Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match - Dolph Ziggler def. Luke Harper (c) (16:42)

Starting this show off with an awesome Ladder Match and my favorite match of the night. Hot off the heels of the best performance of his career at Survivor Series, Ziggler’s stock had risen, and this match can only help that. Harper looked like a monster here and Ziggler looked good playing the underdog. Harper uses the ladders to punish and maim Ziggler. He throws the ladders into Ziggler and Ziggler into the ladders. JBL on commentary puts it best, “Harper has thrown everything not nailed down at Dolph Ziggler.” Ziggler at one point gets cut open and the doctors try to check on him. But Harper decides to make them hurry by going up and trying to get the title, and Ziggler frantically gets back in and up the ladder to stop Harper. Harper himself gets cut on the arms. Both men take their lumps in this match but it’s mostly been Ziggler, who fights valiantly. As Ziggler is climbing up the ladder, Harper sets up a ladder beside his and climbs up, but Ziggler hits him with a superkick and goes to the top and takes the title. Ziggler overcomes a vicious Luke Harper to win. I loved this match. Extremely underrated in my opinion.

My Rating: ****

Match 2: WWE Tag Team Championship Match - The Usos def. The Miz & Damien Mizdow (c) via DQ (7:16)

Damien Mizdow is one of my favorite gimmicks of all time. For people who don’t know, at this time, The Miz thought of himself as this big movie star and Mizdow was his stunt double. He would follow Miz everywhere he went and copy everything that he did. If Miz had a chinlock on an opponent, Mizdow would pretend to apply a chinlock on the outside. If Miz was being attacked, Mizdow would fall on the floor with him. The Usos have Miz up for a double suplex in this match and Mizdow does a handstand in the corner. It’s genuinely amazing. Miz hits one of the Usos with his slammy award to get his team DQ’d. I enjoyed this but I wasn’t sure how to rate it because it wasn’t the wrestling that made me like it. So I’ll give it a rating somewhere in the middle.

My Rating: ***

Match 3: Stairs Match - Big Show def. Erick Rowan (11:13)

What were they doing when they pitched this match? Were they just desperate for ideas and said "fuck it! Stairs Match, dammit!" This match was terrible too. There is nothing fun about watching 2 big guys lumber around some steps. And that is pretty much all they do. Rowan stacks some steps on top of each other and Big Show tackles him into them. That's the most exciting thing that happens in this match. Big Show finishes Rowan with a knockout punch and places a pair of steps on Rowan before pinning him.

My Rating: *

Match 4: Tables Match With John Cena’s #1 Contendership on the line - John Cena def. Seth Rollins (23:33)

A great match if I’m being honest. This was very fun to watch. Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury come down with Rollins and they are gonna assist him for most of this match. Whenever Cena tries to put Seth through a table, J&J run in to stop him. Cena eventually takes out both of Seth’s security and for now, it’s one on one. It’s hard to make a Tables Match good in my opinion, I can’t remember too many that I thought were great, but this was very good. The referee gets knocked down Cena manages to put Rollins through a table with an AA from the top rope, but because the ref is down, he can’t call for the bell. J&J run back in, beat down Cena, pull Seth out of the wreckage and get rid of the broken pieces of the table. Cena puts both security through a table with double AA. Cena and Seth both fall through the table at the same time and the bell is rung. The referee decides the best thing to do is to restart the match to decide a winner. Big Show comes down and attacks Cena, but who would come to Cena’s rescue? It’s Roman Reigns making his return. He Spears Big Show through a table, Rollins runs back in and eats a superman punch, and he stumbles into Cena who puts him through a table with an AA. This match is a bit overbooked, but for the efforts of Cena and Rollins, I’ll give it 4 stars.

My Rating: ****

Match 5: Divas Championship Match - Nikki Bella (c) def. AJ Lee (7:44)

I can’t remember much from this match, except Nikki putting rest holds on AJ and it is not fun to watch. What I do remember is AJ hitting a Shining Wizard on Nikki, but Nikki is so close to the ropes that Brie is able to put Nikki’s foot on the ropes. Brie gets ejected from ringside by the referee, but Nikki pepper sprays AJ behind his back. Nikki then hits the Rack Attack to retain her title. Was anyone else confused that Nikki and Brie were suddenly good here? This isn’t long after Nikki told Brie that she wished she died in the womb.

My Rating: *1/2

Match 6: Chairs Match - Ryback def. Kane (9:50)

“We’re gonna have the worst match of the night.” Said Big Show and Rowan. “Hold our beer.” Said Ryback and Kane. The Chairs Match stipulation is almost as stupid as the Stairs Match, but they do not a damn thing in this match other than wail on each other with chairs and just punch each other and hit sidewalk slams and it’s just sucks. At least Big Show and Rowan did something with their stipulation, they didn’t even try here.

My Rating: 1/2*

Match 7: United States Championship Match - Rusev (c) def. Jack Swagger (4:49)

Not a bad match, but it’s also a short one. Rusev goes into this match with a hurt ankle and that’s what Swagger goes after. He manages to put the Ankle Lock on Rusev, but Rusev reverses, and he puts the Accolade on Swagger. He has it on for a while, so long that it looks like Swagger is about to pass out, but he wakes up and mounts a short lived come back before he’s put back in the Accolade until he passes out, and Rusev remains undefeated.

My Rating: **

Main Event: TLC Match - Bray Wyatt def. Dean Ambrose (26:55)

These two guys were my favorite wrestlers at this time, and I was so excited about this match. I liked that they made this the main event because these two were the best characters this company had. One of my complaints is that there are a few slow periods and for that, it falls a little below expectations, but still a good match nonetheless. Ambrose had his throat crushed with a chair by Bray a few weeks earlier, so Ambrose is out to maim Bray in this match. They wail on each other for a while until they go up the entrance way. Ambrose puts Bray on a table and elbow drops him from the top of a ladder. But Dean decides that’s not enough and does it again, this time from a higher ladder. Ambrose is enjoying beating down Wyatt, and Bray makes it back in the ring, where Ambrose follows him and runs into a Sister Abigail, which Dean kicks out of at 2. Dean brings out a TV monitor, before he notices a huge ladder sitting in the entrance way. He goes up and brings it back to the ring with him. Bray tries to save himself by crushing Dean’s throat again with a chair, but Dean stops him and does it to Bray instead. Then he places Bray on the spanish announce table and hits an elbow drop from the top of the ladder. He picks Bray up, throws him back in the ring. He blows Bray a kiss goodbye before grabbing the monitor and attempting to hit Bray with it, but it blows up in his face… Literally, the monitor blows up in Ambrose’s face, and then he’s hit with Sister Abigail and Bray beats him… The ways that WWE try to protect people are so dumb because they always make them look worse. This made Ambrose look like a clown.

My Rating: ***1/2

Cagematch Rating: 3.79

My Rating: 6/10

This PPV has some good stuff on it, more good stuff than bad in my opinion. This show isn’t nearly as bad as the cagematch rating suggests it is, but it does have three matches on it that are so damn boring to watch. And I understand that almost every show will have at least one bad match on it but these three are so bad that I can’t rate it anything above a 6.

In my next review, we’re going back to the Attitude Era, and the second King of the Ring of the series. King of the Ring ‘99.

 

[Jarf]

King of the Ring 1999

At the top of the show, they play footage of a match that happened on Heat before the show between Ken Shamrock and Shane McMahon. Shamrock is in the tournament and Shane is supposed to be in the Ladder Match in the main event with his dad against Stone Cold. Steve Blackman beats on Shamrock with a kendo stick in the midsection. Shamrock is shown backstage struggling to stand, blood trickling from his mouth and refusing medical help. Shane’s health is also in question and it’s unsure if he’ll be in the main event.

Match 1: King of the Ring Quarter-Final Match - X-Pac def. Hardcore Holly via DQ (3:02)

What a weird and random way to start this show. These two were rocking for a little bit, it was going well, but then X-Pac hits Holly with a Bronco Buster, then Holly goes outside and grabs a steel chair, he comes in the ring and hits X-Pac with it and gets himself DQ’d. Holly eliminates himself from the tournament. He continues beating on X-Pac after the bell, but Pac’s friend, Road Dogg comes to his rescue. The chair shot hurts X-Pac’s neck and that’s going to effect him for the rest of this tournament.

My Rating: *

Match 2: King of the Ring Quarter-Final Match - Kane def. Big Show (6:36)

This match was going well… at first. We go from the worst version of both of these two on the last show to the best version of these two. This is a hoss fight and I love it. Big Show effortlessly tosses Kane around because he’s a big nasty bastard. The referee eventually gets knocked down when Kane dodges a big boot by Big Show. Hardcore Holly is back and he tries to hit Big Show with a chair, but Kane takes it out of his hands and Chokeslams him. And then… Boy oh boy, and then… This made me laugh my ass off. Kane wraps his hand on Big Show’s throat and teases chokeslamming him. And he chokes… and he chokes… and he chokes… and he’s still choking him. Kane chokes Big Show for so long that if he were actually choking him, Big Show would’ve died. Now I do know why this happened. The referee wasn’t up to let Big Show know to counter, so they were waiting for the ref, but the thing is, the ref has to be down for the ending spot to work, so they can’t just wait for him. Kane is just looking at the ref the whole time he’s choking Big Show, and it’s really funny. But if I didn’t know what was happening here, I would’ve been like “what the hell, do something.” Big Show decides to take the initiative and slap Kane’s hand away. Kane ends up hitting Big Show with the chair to knock the big man out and now the referee wakes up and Kane advances. Big Show walks out of the ring and looks really pissed. This was funny.

My Rating: **1/4

Match 3: King of the Ring Quarter-Final Match - Billy Gunn def. Ken Shamrock via referee’s decision (3:37)

I really liked this. This made Shamrock look cool as fuck. Shamrock comes to the ring despite his injuries, he’s still bleeding from the mouth. Obviously, Billy Gunn goes after Shamrock’s torso. Shamrock mounts some offense towards the end and he screams in pain whenever he throws a kick. He attempts a frankensteiner, but Gunn catches him and hits a powerbomb. And on landing, Shamrock spits out a wad of blood, and the referee calls for the bell. Billy Gunn advances. This was a short match but it told a compelling story in that amount of time.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 4: King of the Ring Quarter-Final Match - Road Dogg def. Chyna (13:19)

Chyna was out to become the Queen of the Ring tonight. She dominates most of this match because Road Dogg is reluctant to hit a woman, and it nearly comes back to bite him because Chyna knocks him on his ass for a lot of this match. Chyna brings Triple H to the ring with her and he gives Chyna the advantage just when Road Dogg begins to mount a comeback. Road Dogg eventually has enough and he begins to take down Chyna. Triple H tries to run in the ring, but Comissioner, Shawn Michaels stops him and sends him to the back. Chyna tries to low blow Road Dogg, but Jesse James is unaffected, but Chyna hurts her arm. Road Dogg was wearing a metal cup. AJ Styles could learn something from Road Dogg. Anyway, Chyna loses after a Pumphandle Slam and Road Dogg advances. I actually liked this match, I won’t lie.

My Rating: ***

Match 5: WWF Tag Team Championship #1 Contenders Match - The Hardy Boyz def. The Brood (4:49)

This was a short match but it would only be a taste of things to come for these teams. This match is fast paced all the way through. They only got 5 minutes so they gotta get their shit in. Edge hits one of his best Spears on Jeff. Edge is sitting on the top rope and Jeff runs and jumps off Matt’s back and Edge meets him in mid-air with a Spear. Gangrel accidentally spits blood in Edge’s face when he was aiming for Jeff. Jeff hits the Twist of Fate on Edge to get the win.

My Rating: **3/4

I can’t remember if it was at this point in the show, but Vince McMahon comes out to the ring and says that Shane McMahon can’t compete and states the main event won’t be happening. But Shawn comes out and says “yeah the match is happening.” Vince says that the originally advertised main event won’t be happening, but it will be Vince and a “suitable replacement” against Austin. Remember that.

Match 6: King of the Ring Semi-Final Match - Billy Gunn def. Kane (5:25)

I sometimes forget that BIlly Gunn is a big guy, he’s almost at Kane’s height. This match wasn’t so good. Billy works holds on Kane, Kane fights back and the referee gets knocked down again. Billy goes out to grab a chair, but Big Show is there and he snatches the chair out of Billy’s hands. Kane reaches over the top to grab Billy but Big Show hits him in the head with the chair and Billy pins him to make it to the finals.

My Rating: *1/2

Match 7: King of the Ring Semi-Final Match - X-Pac def. Road Dogg (3:08)

I didn’t like this match either, but at least it’s short. These two are buddies, so that at least adds something interesting to it. There was a spot where X-Pac attempts a Bronco Buster and hits his head off the top turnbuckle and his penis on the bottom turnbuckle. Road Dogg allows X-Pac enough time to recover and it comes back to bite him. He goes for a Pumphandle, but X-Pac gets out of it and hits an X-Factor to win.

My Rating: *1/4

Match 8: WWF Championship Match - The Undertaker (c) def. The Rock (19:10)

What a confusing fucking match this was. So they must have forgotten to mention that this was a No DQ Match, because they definitely outside the ring long enough to be counted out and they used weapons on each other. And when the bell rings, the first thing Undertaker does is attack the ref from behind… why? Oh, for this of course, The Rock hits the Rock Bottom immediately and has Taker beaten. Undertaker hits a Chokeslam on The Rock and Rock kicks out. Okay. Still don’t know why Undertaker attacked the referee but whatever I guess. They go up to the entrance way, and they brawl for so long up there, but there’s No DQ’s apparently. Again, must have forgot to mention that. Undertaker works on Rock for a while in the ring, but the referee gets knocked down again. You can really see Vince Russo booking all over this show with these ref bumps. The Rock hits the People’s Elbow on Undertaker, but there’s no referee again. Triple H runs down and Pedigrees The Rock, and once Taker gets back up, he Tombstones The Rock to retain the title. I was not a fan of this match. I’ve never thought Undertaker and The Rock had chemistry and this match is extremely overbooked to a confusing degree.

My Rating: *3/4

We go backstage and Shawn sends Triple H home and Vince is shouting at him saying, “he’s my tag partner.” Shawn says “You think I didn’t know that? Good luck, nimrod.” So Triple H is out.

Match 9: King of the Ring Final Match - Billy Gunn def. X-Pac (5:53)

This match wasn’t that bad. Even if Billy Gunn did admit he was gonna go after X-Pac’s neck before the match like an idiot. He does just that and he hits a Fameasser, which I imagine can’t help X-Pac’s neck. But X-Pac still kicks out and Billy curses at the ref, calling bullshit. X-Pac hits the X-Factor and Billy kicks out. Billy goes to the top rope and X-Pac drop kicks him, crotching Mr. Ass on the turnbuckle. X-Pac tells him to “come on motherfucker!” X-Pac goes to the top with him, but Billy throws him off. Billy hits a top rope Fameasser to become the King of the Ring. I don’t hate it like I hated Mabel winning his. But it’s a little perplexing why they went with Billy. He’s always been better as a tag guy, not so much a singles guy.

My Rating: **1/2

Vince comes out and reveals his tag partner is Steve Blackman. Blackman makes his way out, but footage comes up on the tron of Shane McMahon chilling with the Mean Street Posse in the locker room and he says “he got one over on HBK. Once they realize they’re on TV, they try to leave, but Shawn stops them and brings Shane out to ringside and says “Shane is more than suitable.” So they made us think that Shane was out, only to say he’s in. Classic Russo swerve, bro!

Main Event: 2-on-1 Handicap Ladder Match for 100% control of the company - Vince & Shane McMahon def. Steve Austin (17:11)

There has never been anyone like Stone Cold. Only he could give whatever match he’s in a big fight feel just by making his entrance. I should probably mention this entrance set up. Two rows of ladders stand on each side of the entrance way and they’re holding up other ladders above it. This match is just Austin beating on the McMahons for 17 minutes. Vince and Shane rarely get offense during this match. They go up the entrance way and Austin beats on them up there. Austin throws Shane into three of the ladders standing in one row, knocking them. And with Vince and Shane laying under them, Austin yanks the last ladder out and all the ladders it was holding up comes crashing onto the McMahons. Austin goes for the briefcase, but The McMahons try to stop him. Austin hits an elbow drop from the ladder onto Shane through the spanish table. One of the only time Austin takes a lump in this match, Vince pushes the ladder over with Austin on it, and Austin hits the other announce table. It isn’t long before Austin makes it back up and begins to beat on the McMahons with the ladder. The finish to this match is Austin going for the briefcase, but somebody raises it out of Austin’s reach. Austin goes outside the ring and starts interrogating the time keeper and the ring announcer like they’re gonna know who did it. Shane goes up the ladder in the ring and he gets the briefcase and the McMahons run away with it. I wasn’t too crazy about this match either. The ladder spot on the entrance way was cool but this match does go for too long for being one sided all the way through.

My Rating: **3/4

Cagematch Rating: 3.81

My Rating: 3/10

Like I’ve said before, not everything during the Attitude Era was good. This show had some things that I enjoyed, but there is also a lot of things I didn’t enjoy or were just confused by. As I usually am with anything Vince Russo books. Billy Gunn was a questionable winner, especially when they didn’t do anything with him afterward. Still leagues above the first King of the Ring I watched.

Next up is another In Your House. Following the Montreal Screwjob it’s In Your House: D-Generation X.

 

[Chris]

I find most attitude era PPVs shit tbh lol it was the weekly TV that drew people in

 

[Jarf]

I find most attitude era PPVs shit tbh lol it was the weekly TV that drew people in

They honestly got better after '99. Weird how that happened after Russo left though

 

[Chris]

They honestly got better after '99. Weird how that happened after Russo left though

Yeah 2000s were good, they were giving Benoit and Jericho main event matches too which helped a lot

 

[Jarf]

Yeah 2000s were good, they were giving Benoit and Jericho main event matches too which helped a lot

I just realized I've yet to get a show with a Jericho match on it. That's crazy considering his longevity.

 

[Chris]

I just realized I've yet to get a show with a Jericho match on it. That's crazy considering his longevity.

If you were doing WCW too you would have....Fall Brawl 98

 

[Jarf]

If you were doing WCW too you would have....Fall Brawl 98

I can do WCW at some point. Is it really that bad?

 

[Chris]

I can do WCW at some point. Is it really that bad?

I reviewed like 4 or 5 WCW shows from the 90s that are worse than all but maybe 3 shows you've reviewed here

 

[Jarf]

I reviewed like 4 or 5 WCW shows from the 90s that are worse than all but maybe 3 shows you've reviewed here

Was one of them from '95? God that was such a shit year for wrestling

 

[Chris]

Was one of them from '95? God that was such a shit year for wrestling

Uncensored 95 yep lol that was worst show of 1995 from the Observer.

Opened with the king of the road match I believe

 

[Jarf]

Now that I'm 25 shows into this series, I thought I would share the top 25 matches I've watched so far in this series

1. Seth Rollins vs The Miz (Backlash 2018) ****1/4
2. Roman Reigns vs Seth Rollins (Royal Rumble 2022) ****1/4
3. Dolph Ziggler vs Luke Harper (TLC 2014) ****
4. Rey Mysterio vs Chavo Guerrero (Great American Bash 2004) ****
5. Becky Lynch vs Sasha Banks (Hell in a Cell 2019) ****
6. The Usos vs The New Day (Battleground 2017) ****
7. AJ Styles vs Rusev (Extreme Rules 2018) ****
8. Roman Reigns vs Braun Strowman (Fastlane 2017) ****
9. John Cena vs Seth Rollins (TLC 2014) ****
10. The British Bulldogs vs The Dream Team (WrestleMania 2) ***3/4
11. JBL vs The Undertaker vs Eddie Guerrero vs Booker T (Armageddon 2004) ***3/4
12. Roman Reigns & Daniel Bryan vs Luke Harper & Erick Rowan (Hell in a Cell 2019) ***3/4
13. Neville vs Jack Gallagher (Fastlane 2017) ***3/4
14. Bray Wyatt vs Dean Ambrose (TLC 2014) ***1/2
15. Rey Mysterio & Rob Van Dam vs Rene Dupree & Kenzo Suzuki (Armageddon 2004) ***1/2
16. Steve Austin vs The Undertaker vs Kane vs Mankind (Capital Carnage) ***1/2
17. Randy Orton vs Mustafa Ali (Hell in a Cell 2019) ***1/2
18. Finn Balor vs Andrade (Super Showdown 2019) ***1/2
19. The Hardy Boyz vs MNM (December to Dismember 2006) ***1/2
20. JBL vs Eddie Guerrero (Great American Bash 2004) ***1/2
21. Roman Reigns vs Dean Ambrose (Survivor Series 2015) ***1/2
22. AJ Styles vs Samoa Joe (Crown Jewel 2018) ***1/2
23. The Smoking Gunns vs Razor Ramon & 1-2-3 Kid (In Your House 4: The Great White North) ***1/2
24. Seth Rollins vs Dolph Ziggler (Crown Jewel 2018) ***1/2
25. Roman Reigns vs Alberto Del Rio (Survivor Series 2015) ***1/2