Reviewing every WWE PPV in order from worst to best

[Jarf]

Survivor Series 2013

Match 1: Survivor Series Tag Team Elimination Match - The Shield & The Real Americans def. Rey Mysterio, Cody Rhodes, Goldust & The Usos (23:28)

Here, in this match we get a taste of how dominant Roman Reigns would become in later years. This match starts with Cody and Dean Ambrose and Cody eliminates Dean by rolling him when Ambrose is arguing with the referee. Some time passes before another elimination is made, and this time, it’s Jack Swagger who’s eliminated after a Splash from one of the Usos. Cesaro gets in there and he swings both Usos around until he’s eliminated by Cody. So now it’s Roman and Seth against 5 people. And they begin to strategize in their corner. Roman gets in and he eliminates Jimmy with a Spear. Cody gets in and he holds his own for a short time, but Seth reaches his hand out for Roman to tag while he’s in position for the Cross Rhodes. Cody hits Cross Rhodes on Seth, but Roman Spears him out of this match. Then Jey gets in there and starts beating on Roman, which is surreal knowing roles would be very different in several years. Roman tags in Seth and Seth hits Jey with a Curb Stomp to eliminate him. Seth and Roman isolate Rey for a while until Rey manages to eliminate Seth, leaving Roman the sole member of his team. Roman isolates Rey for a bit until he makes the hot tag to Goldust, who holds his own for a bit until he’s Speared out of his boots by Roman. Rey leaps from the top rope and hurricanranas Roman into the second rope. Rey runs the ropes to attempt a 619, but he runs into a Spear from Roman and Roman Reigns wins the match for his team. Roman eliminated 4 out of 5 of his opponents in this match.

My Rating: ***1/2

Match 2: Intercontinental Championship Match - Big E. Langston (c) def. Curtis Axel (5:57)

I was not a fan of Big E. at this time. I found him to be very bland. Man, when he was allowed to be himself in The New Day, he became just the best. This match was pretty average. It was what I expected from it. Big E. uses his power, Axel momentarily controls the match, but Big E. hits the Big Ending to retain his title.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 3: Survivor Series Tag Team Elimination Match - Team Total Divas (Natalya, The Bella Twins, The Funkadactyls, Eva Marie & JoJo) def. AJ Lee, Tamina, Kaitlyn, Aksana, Summer Rae, Alicia Fox & Rosa Mendes (11:29)

Remember Total Divas? I bet you wouldn’t if they didn’t promote it every 20 minutes on TV every week. There were rapid fire eliminations for several minutes. I do not even remember the order of this one because of how fast people were going. Eventually we come down to Nattie, Nikki Bella and JoJo against AJ and Tamina. JoJo gets in there with Tamina and she gets destroyed. She manages to roll her up and get her hope spot in, but Tamina tags in AJ and lets her pin JoJo. Natalya comes in and she puts Tamina in the Sharpshooter and doesn’t tap out, but she gets sent away anyway. Huh? So AJ is left and she gets put in the Sharpshooter too and she actually taps out. Total Divas win. Yay I guess.

My Rating: 1/2*

Match 4: Mark Henry def. Ryback (4:47)

Ryback comes out and cuts a shitty promo and sends out an open challenge and Mark Henry answers it. Thankfully this match doesn’t go very long because it’s not that great for the time it has. Just power move after power move. Mark takes Ryback out with a World’s Strongest Slam.

My Rating: *1/4

Match 5: World Heavyweight Championship Match - John Cena (c) def. Alberto Del Rio (18:50)

Next up is Super Cena vs Notable Prick, Alberto Del Rio. I never liked it when these two feuded because I didn’t feel like they had chemistry. A lot of this match is Del Rio working over Cena’s arm, that he just back from an injury for. And to be honest, it does start to pick up towards the end. There was one interesting bit in this match where Cena gets frustrated that he hasn’t beaten Del Rio yet, which you didn’t see Cena do very often. The finish comes when Cena attempts a crossbody, but Del Rio rolls through it and applies the Cross Armbreaker. Cena powers Del Rio up for a powerbomb. Then he hits an AA to retain the title. The final several minutes were good enough to raise my rating, but a lot of this match is uneventful.

My Rating: ***

Match 6: CM Punk & Daniel Bryan def. The Wyatt Family (Harper & Rowan) (16:54)

I remember salivating at the idea of Bryan and Punk becoming a tag team. The matches they could’ve put on together. This was a decent match, where Harper and Rowan dominate a lot of this match. They isolate Punk from Bryan for a while until Bryan gets in there and he turns the tides briefly. Until he attempts a Frankensteiner from the top rope on Harper, who lifts Bryan up and hits a powerbomb from the top. Punk eventually makes it back in and he puts the Wyatts on the ropes. Rowan eats a running knee from Bryan before Punk hits Harper with a Go To Sleep. Bryan and Punk challenge Bray to get in the ring, and he teases doing it, but gets down and says “no, no, no.”

My Rating: ***1/4

Main Event: WWE Championship Match - Randy Orton (c) def. Big Show (11:08)

Wow. Back to back Survivor Series PPVs with Big Show in the main event. But this is 2013 Big Show, not 1999 Big Show. It’s a significant difference. I’ve also never seen a more dead crowd for a main event match than this one. They’re not cheering. They’re not booing. They are silent because they do not care and they know Orton is winning so they have no reason to get invested. There were chants for Daniel Bryan very early in this match. I heard a guy chanting “take it home” at one point. Orton hits a DDT on Big Show and puts his hand behind his ear as if he’s trying to hear the crowd. Trying to make them make any noise at all and they aren’t because nobody cares about this match. Big Show hits a knockout punch on Orton on the outside. He throws Orton back in the ring, then King of Kings plays and the Authority make their way out and Big Show is very easily distracted. He turns back around into an RKO followed by a Punt kick and Orton retains the title. Triple H and Steph look like they’re about to get into the ring and congratulate him, but Cena’s music hits. He goes to the ring, holding the World Heavyweight Title and the two champions stare at each other as the show ends.

My Rating: *1/2

Cagematch Rating: 4.25

My Rating: 4/10

The biggest problem with this show is that it’s boring. It has some good matches on it. But wow, when I say that the crowd was dead, I mean they were dead for that main event. Orton tried to rile them up and they responded with pure silence. Ultimately, there was absolutely no reason to pay for this show, other than maybe the tag match with Punk and Bryan.

Moving on from Survivor Series PPVs and going to the In Your House series. No Way Out of Texas on the road to WrestleMania 14.

 

[Jarf]

In Your House 20: No Way Out of Texas

The story for this show is that Shawn Michaels is out of the main event due to a back injury, so Triple H and The New Age Outlaws have to find a partner.

Match 1: The Headbangers def. Marc Mero & Goldust (13:54)

They gave a Headbangers match 14 minutes. The Headbangers were pretty over, but they weren’t that great in the ring. Marc Mero sends Sable to the locker room before the match even starts and Luna is gonna be out there with them for the match. This match is pretty average. Mero and Goldust begin isolating Thrasher after Goldust throws Thrasher head first into the steel steps, and Thrasher is bleeding. Mero and Goldust isolate Thrasher for a while until Thrasher is able to make the tag to Mosh. Mosh goes ham on the two for a bit. They go for their finish, but Luna drops Thrasher on the top rope. Then Sable comes down and she goes to fight with Luna, but she’s held back by Mero while Goldust is holding back Luna. Meanwhile, the Headbangers switch places in the ring, and Goldust gets back in the ring and Thrasher rolls him in a small package pin while Mero is holding back Sable and Luna on the outside.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 2: Light Heavyweight Championship Match - Taka Michinoku (c) def. Pantera (10:11)

This was a really fun match. Even if its made less fun by Lawler and Brian Christopher on commentary. It’s a shame that the crowd was dead for most of it, because these two deserved better. Pantera turns the tide in his favor after a suicide dive through the ropes, and Taka’s back hits the railing. Pantera works over Taka’s back for a good portion of this match. Taka is able to turn things around and he sets Pantera up for a Michinoku Driver, but Pantera reverses it into a small package. Taka attempts it a second time and hits it to retain his title. Brian gets off commentary and tries to get in the ring, but Lawler holds him back and Taka dives on both of them on the outside.

My Rating: ***1/2

Match 3: The Godwinns def. The Quebecers (11:14)

Why did they give this match 11 minutes. The Headbangers were over. Neither of these teams are over, and they’re both heel teams. But they gave the Light Heavyweight Title Match less time than this. Interesting. This match is very uninteresting. The Godwinns work over Jacques for an agonizing amount of time, then Pierre gets in there and he goes ham for a short time. I honestly don’t remember the finish, because I was checked out for this match. The Godwinns hit both Quebecers with their buckets after the match.

My Rating: *

Match 4: NWA North American Championship Match - Bradshaw def. Jeff Jarrett (c) via DQ (8:59)

Not a bad match but it’s another uninteresting one. What was going on in the WWF at this time that an NWA Title was on the line? I don’t hate it, it’s just weird. Bradshaw uses his brawling style to throw around Jeff, but Jeff eventually takes the advantage. Jim Cornette occasionally interferes, including when he gets Bradshaw in the knee with his racket while the referee’s back is turned. Jarrett begins to work on Bradshaw’s knee, but he makes a mistake by leaping off the top rope and is caught by Bradshaw who hits a fallaway slam. Then he hits a Powerbomb, and brings Cornette in the ring after he gets on the apron. Jarrett grabs Cornette’s racket and hits Bradshaw in the chest with it. The Rock N Roll Express and Barry Windham make their way down and they gang up on Bradshaw until the Road Warriors come down to chase away the heels.

My Rating: **1/4

Match 5: War of Attrition Match - Ken Shamrock, Ahmed Johnson & Disciples of Apocalypse def. The Nation of Domination (Faarooq, The Rock, D’Lo Brown, Mark Henry & Kama Mustafa) (13:46)

I didn’t know what a War of Attrition Match was. Turns out, it’s a normal 10 man tag. Oh, okay. Not a bad match, but it’s very average like the opener. They do get a reaction when Ahmed gets in there with Mark Henry and they have a short hoss fight. 8-Ball or whoever gets in and he gets worked over by The Nation for a bit, but he’s able to tag in Shamrock after D’Lo misses a moonsault and D’Lo tags in The Rock, then everybody gets in and they begin fighting. Shamrock belly to bellies The Rock and locks him in an Ankle Lock to win the match for his team. The Rock and Faarooq begin fighting with each other after the match. But Faarooq calms down, he forces The Rock to get into position so they can hit their signature pose to the hard camera.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 6: Kane def. Vader (10:59)

The story going into this one is interesting. We’re a month off from Kane burning The Undertaker alive inside a casket. So he’s gone and the story is that Vader might be the one person left who can stop Kane. And Vader gets more offense on Kane than anyone else has up to this point, but it’s seemingly ineffective against the Big Red Monster. Kane is looking unstoppable. But Vader blows a fire extinguisher in his face. He hits a Vader bomb on Kane in the ring and Kane sits up. Then Vader hits a Powerbomb on Kane, and Paul Bearer gets on the apron to distract Vader, because we can’t make Kane look like a complete monster by winning this match by himself. GRRRRRRR! Kane sits up and he hits Vader with a Chokeslam followed by a Tombstone to win the match. Kane then goes outside and grabs a big fucking wrench and hits Vader in the face with it. A stretcher is brought out to take Vader away. Commentary says it looked like half of Vader’s face was caved in.

My Rating: **3/4

Main Event: No Holds Barred 8-Man Tag Team Match - Steve Austin, Owen Hart, Cactus Jack & Chainsaw Charlie def. Triple H, The New Age Outlaws & Savio Vega (17:41)

Now to be fair, WWF didn’t have very many options for replacements for Shawn Michaels… but Savio Vega is a horrible surprise. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate Savio. I’m one of those people who thinks Savio is a good wrestler. But he’s not on the level of anybody else in this match. He sticks out like a sore thumb. I think it would’ve been better to forgo the War of Attrition Match and put The Rock in there instead. This match is also pretty split in terms of quality too. It starts out being a chaotic match. Bodies and weapons are flying everywhere. It’s an Attitude Era main event so it’s what you expect. But it’s good fun. Sadly, the fun doesn’t last because for whatever reason, the referee suddenly decides that they need to tag in and out. And that would be fine if this wasn’t a No DQ Match. I hate No DQ tag matches with tags. What is even the point. There was a spot that made me laugh where Austin is on the apron holding a trash can and throws it across the ring at Billy Gunn. There’s a creative spot where Savio wraps Cactus up in barbed wire. Eventually Cactus makes the tag to Austin who ends this match in a minute. He throws fists with everyone and hits a Stunner on Road Dogg to win the match. Then Chyna gets in his face after the match, and after she flips him double birds, Austin stuns her. This match started out pretty good but the tag rules kinda took me out of the match.

My Rating: ***1/2

Cagematch Rating: 4.27

My Rating: 4.5/10

This is a meh PPV. It’s mainly uneventful. Just a throwaway PPV to kill time until WrestleMania 14. It has a couple good matches on it, and Kane looks like a monster in the build to his match with Undertaker. But there’s not enough juicy stuff here for me to rate it very high, and Savio was a pretty disappointing replacement for the main event.

Next up is the first No Mercy PPV. No, not the fun one with the Tag Team Ladder Match. The one they did earlier that year in the UK that you might not remember.

 

[Chris]

Very odd WWF time. They were starting to get so crazy hot on TV with some feuds and characters but man the wrestling still sucked most of the time

 

[Jarf]

Very odd WWF time. They were starting to get so crazy hot on TV with some feuds and characters but man the wrestling still sucked most of the time

At least on TV the wrestling didn't need to be good. But the PPVs are when you should deliver

 

[Chris]

At least on TV the wrestling didn't need to be good. But the PPVs are when you should deliver

Yeah I did a whole Attitude Era watch in high school and I started skipping PPVs outside of a few matches lmao

 

[Jarf]

No Mercy 1999 (UK)

The forgotten No Mercy and after watching it, it’s probably forgotten for a reason. First of all, Shane McMahon is all over this show. He legitimately has 5 appearances on this show. It’s pretty much his 2019 push squeezed into one show. Holy hell. He comes out with the entire Corporate Ministry and announces 3 matches because besides the main event, I doubt they built up this show in any way. He announces the Brood, who recently defected from the Ministry, against The Acolytes and Viscera. Kane against Mideon and himself against X-Pac for the European Title. He also adds a No Holds Barred stipulation to the main event, which I assumed since it was a triple threat match, it was already No Holds Barred, but okay. Shane says that they’ll show Stone Cold no mercy tonight, and he’s going to keep saying that all night. Hey, did you know that’s the name of the show? I don’t know if you noticed.

Match 1: Tiger Ali Singh def. Gillberg (1:04)

Singh comes out and cuts a shitty promo before Gillberg makes his entrance. Gillberg is just a parody of Goldberg and honestly, this gimmick should be really lame, but Gillberg makes it work. This match doesn’t go long. Gillberg hits a Spear and Tiger basically shrugs it off, he hits something to beat Gillberg.

Match 2: Viscera & The Acolytes def. The Brood (13:47)

The Brood are over in England, or maybe it’s just Edge because he gets one of the bigger pops of the night when he gets tagged in. The Ministry isolate Christian from his team for a majority of the match, but he makes the hot tag to Gangrel. It’s not long until everyone in the match is fighting, but Shane and Mideon make their way out. Mideon runs down, hits Gangrel with a DDT on the outside and throws him back inside so he can take a Clothesline From Hell from Bradshaw. Shane says that’s one down, three to go. Hey, what’s the show called again? No Mercy, right.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 3: Steve Blackman def. Droz (7:50)

Very much a filler match, it’s just there to eat time. Seriously, this show might be the shortest one I’ve watched so far. Droz works over Blackman for a short time, until Blackman makes Droz eat his feet and fists and he takes the win.

My Rating: *1/2

Match 4: Kane def. Mideon via DQ (4:35)

In this match, Mideon tries to phase Kane, but Kane pretty much shoves off everything that Mideon does to him. It’s looking like Kane is about to put him away with a Chokeslam, but the Ministry run down and attack Kane, causing the DQ. They gang up on Kane, until X-Pac runs down with a chair to chase everyone off. Shane once again grabs a mic and says X-Pac is next. You could say he’ll show X-Pac no mercy.

My Rating: *1/4

Mankind comes out and cuts a promo putting over the local sports team that he doesn’t know the name of and also Davey Boy Smith. LIterally, it’s just a filler promo.

Match 5: Nicole Bass def. Tori (0:27)

This is supposed to be Sable vs Tori but they mercifully stop that from happening by having Sable fake a chest cold. She grabs a mic and says she’s sick and when she catches a chest cold, it’s a “BIG” problem. Get it guys? Get it? She’s got big fucking tits? Get it? Anyway, Tori hits Nicole with 2 punches that doesn’t phase her. Then Nicole hits Tori with one of the worst Chokeslams ever to end things.

Match 6: European Championship Match - Shane McMahon (c) def. X-Pac (8:27)

Pretty uneventful match, It’s pretty identical to the match they had at WrestleMania, except this crowd is silent. This crowd has been pretty dead for most of the night, but then again, they haven’t really given them much reason to cheer. But I would’ve thought they’d at least be behind X-Pac here. Chyna eventually makes her way down and with the referee out, she hits X-Pac with the European Championship. Shane slowly makes his way over to cover, and the ref counts 1, 2, kickout. Triple H makes his way down next. But X-Pac gets Chyna in the corner and goes for a Bronco Buster, but Chyna gets her foot up and hit X-Pac’s dick. Triple H gets in next and hits the Pedigree and Shane retains the European Title. They continue beating on Pac after the match and Shane hits a bronco buster on him. Then Kane comes down to chase off the three. Shane grabs a mic and he is so out of breath. Like he sounds like he’s about to keel over. He says that’s 3 down, and Austin is next. And they’ll show… You guessed it. No mercy. Man it just gets better every time.

My Rating: **1/2

Mankind is being interviewed in the locker room when he’s jumped by the Corporate Ministry. The Acolytes and Mideon hold him down while Undertaker slams a chair into his leg and that’s gonna come into play in this next match.

Match 7: Billy Gunn def. Mankind (11:27)

Billy comes out first, then Mankind’s music hits and he doesn’t make it out at first. Billy tries to win by forfeit, but Mankind’s music hits again and he limps down to the ring. This match isn’t bad, but it very average. It sorta has a botched finish. Billy works over Mankind’s knee for a lot of this match and Mankind tries to survive with his toughness and brawling style. He brings a steel chair into the ring and the referee tries to take it from him, but Billy kicks his knee out and Mankind drops the chair. Mankind gets the Mandible Claw on Billy, but Billy drop toe holds him onto the chair which should be a DQ. Especially when he uses it two more times. He hits a piledriver onto the chair and pins Mankind. Mankind kicks out but they ring the bell thinking it was a three count, but then Billy hits the Fameasser on the chair and now he pins Mankind and the bell is rung a second time.

My Rating: **1/4

Main Event: WWF Championship Triple Threat Match - Steve Austin (c) def. Triple H & The Undertaker (18:20)

This match makes Shane McMahon look like the biggest idiot on the planet. He books this match with the intention of making it impossible for Austin to retain, but here’s what he forgets. The WWF Title is on the line and Undertaker and Triple H both want to be the champion. They do work together for a while, but inevitably, their teamwork falls apart and they start going at it too. Breaking up pins whenever the other pins Austin. They also imply all night that the Corporate Ministry can interfere, but they only come down towards the end of the match. Austin hits Undertaker with a Stunner and HHH breaks it up. Then HHH eats a Stunner so Undertaker breaks it up and that’s when Shane and the Corporate Ministry make their way down. Viscera, The Acolytes, and Mideon. They all gang up on Austin. But here’s when the story they’ve been telling throughout the night pays off. Kane, X-Pac, Mankind and The Brood all run down to even the odds and a massive brawl breaks out. Undertaker gets caught in the shuffle and they all make their way to the back. Shane stays at ringside with Chyna while Triple H and Austin continue fighting. Triple H tells Chyna to get in and they try to double team Austin. But Austin kicks Chyna in the gut, low blows HHH, hits a Stunner on Chyna and then one on Triple H and Austin is still the WWF Champion. Shane gets in as the ref counts the pin and he locks eyes with Austin. Shane tries to run away, but X-Pac runs back down, throws Shane back in the ring and he gets a Stunner too. Shane, Triple H and Chyna are all sitting in a corner and X-Pac gives Shane, Triple H and Chyna all a bronco buster. Austin, X-Pac and Earl Hebner all share a cold one to end the show. Austin gets Triple H up and offers him a beer too. He, X-Pac and Triple H all drink, Austin hits Triple H with another Stunner and Triple H spits all the beer out. This ending was very enjoyable.

My Rating: ***

Cagematch Rating: 4.31

My Rating: 2/10

This show sticks the landing, but you can really tell they don’t give a shit about it. Even if they have the enjoyable trope with everyone the Corporate Ministry went after getting even at the end, this show feels like a waste of 2 hours. The opening video package and the video package for the main event are exactly the same video. That’s how lazy they were feeling.

Alright, what’s next…? Oh no… No, no, no, no, no! Not the worst Royal Rumble Match in history! No! Not Royal Rumble 2015!

 

[Chris]

All of those UK PPVs are pretty much like this, very skippable

 

[Jarf]

Royal Rumble 2015

Fucking hell… Alright, let’s talk about this fucking PPV.

Match 1: The Ascension def. The New Age Outlaws (5:42)

We start this show with The Ascension taking on the Old Age Outlaws. The last show I watched and this show are 16 years apart from each other, and I’m watching another Billy Gunn match. The Ascension isolate Road Dogg from Billy early on, until he gets the hot tag and runs wild for a solid 30 seconds before The Ascension beat him with the Fall of Man. A short match that served pretty much no purpose.

My Rating: *1/2

Match 2: WWE Tag Team Championship Match - The Usos (c) def. The Miz & Damien Mizdow (9:24)

This match isn’t bad. Mizdow is extremely over with this crowd and The Miz spends basically the whole match as the legal man because he knows just how to get under the crowd’s skin and he doesn’t tag in Mizdow a single time. He teases it for a moment, but he never does it. From a wrestling standpoint, this match is better than their match at TLC. It starts to pick up after an Uso (couldn’t tell you which) makes the hot tag to his brother. They dive on Miz and his stunt double. Mizdow goes wild for a short period. He even hits one of the Usos with the Skull Crushing Finale for a close two count. The match ends after Miz gets an Uso splash. This match was really good in terms of crowd engagement. Whatever Miz did gets booed and whatever Mizdow did got cheered.

My Rating: ***

Match 3: The Bella Twins def. Paige & Natalya (8:18)

This match sucks. Flat out, it just sucks. Paige is the legal woman for a solid minute and a half and the rest of the match is the Bellas isolating Nattie from her corner. Nattie doesn’t even get to make a hot tag. Brie runs over, pulls Paige off the apron as Nattie is about to tag her, and Nikki knocks Nattie out with a forearm to win this match. Booooo. Shitty finish.

My Rating: *1/2

Match 4: WWE World Heavyweight Championship Triple Threat Match - Brock Lesnar (c) def. John Cena & Seth Rollins (22:48)

Eh, this match was alright… Nah, I’m fucking with you. THIS FUCKING RULED! This show is the definition of a one match show. And this is the one match! I forgot just how fucking great this was. Every man played their part well in this match, even Heyman, Mercury and Noble on the outside. Everybody brought their A-Game to this match! Brock proves his dominance early in the match, he’s throwing Cena and Rollins around with German suplexes and throwaway suplexes. Mercury and Noble come in and they get germaned. Brock puts Cena in the Kimura Lock. But Cena powers him up, so he’s standing while Brock his a vice grip on Cena’s arm. But Rollins springboards into the ring and hits Brock in the head with his knee. Cena hits Brock with an AA, but Seth tosses Cena out of the ring and makes the cover and goes for the pin himself. But Brock kicks out at 1. Brock goes back to fucking up his challengers and Rollins and Cena team up briefly against the Beast. Rollins pulls Cena to the outside and goes for another springboard, but Brock catches Seth on his shoulders and gives a beautiful F5, but Cena breaks the pin up. Brock takes Cena down again and decides he’s done playing games. He goes outside, tears apart the announce table, and goes back in the ring, but Cena hits him with an AA. Brock gets back up, and he gets another AA, and Cena hits one AA. Rollins tosses Cena out of the ring and hits Brock with a Curb Stomp. He gets a two count before he’s pulled out of the ring by Cena. Brock gets back on his feet on the outside and he gets speared through the barricade by Cena. Cena goes to get back in, but he sees Brock getting back up and decides to go back on the attack. He tosses Brock into the steel steps before he picks up the top half of the steps and hits Brock in the head with it. Brock falls back on the announce table. Seth knocks down Cena. He sees Brock laying on the table, he goes back in the ring, up on the top rope and HE HITS A DIVING ELBOW DROP TO BROCK THROUGH THE TABLE! And that’s going to keep Brock down until the end of the match. Heyman rushes over to check on his client while Seth and Cena continue fighting in the ring. Mercury and Noble come back in the ring and they all double team Cena, even hitting a Triple Powerbomb on him. Cena manages to hit J&J Security with a double AA, then Seth runs back in to eat one himself. And Rollins kicks out at 2. Rollins hits Cena with the Money in the Bank Briefcase before he hits Cena with a Curb Stomp for a 2. Rollins then drags Cena closer to a corner. Goes back to the top rope AND HITS A PHOENIX SPLASH! But as he goes for the cover, Brock quick as fucking lightning runs back in, snatches Seth up and german suplexes him! He sends Cena out of the ring with a German before he tries to hit another one on Rollins, but Seth flips over, lands on his feet and he grabs the briefcase. He smacks Brock in the head with it before he goes for a Curb Stomp, but Brock catches him and hits an F5 to retain his title! What a fucking banger! This match was stellar! I don’t know if it’s the best Triple Threat ever, but it’s top 5 for for sure! This was incredible!

My Rating: *****

You have no idea how much I wanted to turn the show off after that match, because I knew what was coming next…

Main Event: Royal Rumble Match - Roman Reigns won by last eliminating Rusev (59:43)

It boggles my mind to this day how WWE expected the people to cheer for a guy who used the words “suffering succotash” in a promo. And in Philly of all places! WWE really thought they were going to get one over on Philly?! The home of ECW and one of the most vocal cities in wrestling history? They really thought this was going to end the way they wanted it to? Not only is this match terribly booked, it’s also dull as fuck! All the good stuff happened in the beginning honestly. Bubba Ray returns to the company at entrant #3 and he gets a massive pop from the crowd. Bray Wyatt is number 5 and he’s going to last until the end. He tosses out several people before Daniel Bryan comes out at number 10 to another massive ovation. Daniel Bryan is looking like THE fan favorite to win this match. It sure would suck if he was eliminated too soon… Well, guess what. That’s exactly what happens, he gets eliminated after number 15 and this is when the downfall of this match began. For the next 3 entrants, this crowd booed and chanted Daniel Bryan. But the reason Bryan gets thrown out so early is because WWE didn’t want him to come face to face with the man who comes in at number 19… Roman Reigns who comes down to a SYMPHONY of boos! This crowd does not want to see Roman win this match. It sure would suck if he did… Mizdow makes his way out at number 21 and he gets cheered and he gets two moves in before he’s eliminated by Rusev. And after that brief moment of happiness, we now return you to your regularly scheduled program. This crowd does not stop booing until Dean Ambrose comes out at number 25, and now they’re chanting “we want Ambrose.” Big Show comes out at number 29 and he starts working together with Kane and the crowd begins chanting “we want Ziggler.” And Dolph Ziggler is what they get… for a solid 2 minutes. Dolph comes out as number 30 and he manages to eliminate Bad News Barrett and Cesaro until he’s grampaed out of the match by Big Show and Kane. Then they eliminate the Ironman in this match, Bray Wyatt. Leaving them in the ring with Roman and Philly’s last hope, Dean Ambrose. But guess who the next man to be eliminated is… it’s Dean Ambrose by Big Show and Kane. And now here comes the “bullshit” chants and “we want refunds” chants. Big Show and Kane work together on Roman until they turn on each for some reason, and Roman hercules them both out of the ring at the same time. The two big grampas get back in and start beating on Roman. And now the crowd begins to chant “we want Rusev.” Because Rusev went under the bottom rope and has been on the outside for the last 10 minutes. The Rock comes out to cheers and he takes out Kane and Big Show. He hits Kane with a People’s Elbow and after a Superman Punch by Roman, Big Show walks into a Rock Bottom and this crowd is back to booing. Rusev gets back in and tries to attack, but Roman Spears him and because this crowd isn’t pissed off enough already, Roman points to the WrestleMania sign hanging over the crowd. Then Roman throws Rusev out to officially win the Rumble. And even with The Rock there, this crowd is pissed. And when they’re booing The Rock, you know you have fucked the hell up! This was without an doubt, the worst Royal Rumble Match of all time!

My Rating: DUD

Watch the Triple Threat. That’s the best thing I can say here. Watch that match and skip that fucking Rumble Match. WWE really thought that if they eliminated Daniel Bryan before Roman got out there, that this crowd would get behind the big dog. The thing here, is that there were three people in this match who were over as fuck and would’ve made great winners. Dolph Ziggler, who had the performance of his life at Survivor Series. Dean Ambrose, who was selling more merchandise than anybody else in the company at the time. And Daniel Bryan, who had to give up the WWE Championship because of a neck injury and had come back to reclaim what he never lost. All these great options and they went with Roman Reigns. I don’t think anybody actually disliked Roman until after this night. This is when they broke Roman Reigns as a babyface forever.

Cagematch Rating: 4.33

My Rating: 4/10

Welp, I have a headache. And on that note, the next show will be TLC 2019.

 

[Chris]

Hilarious ending but God damn that 3 way

 

[Jarf]

Hilarious ending but God damn that 3 way

I got two words to describe that Rumble. Suffering succotash.

 

[Jarf]

TLC 2019

The theme of this PPV is not sticking the landing.

Match 1: SmackDown Tag Team Championship Ladder Match - The New Day (Kofi & Big E.) (c) def. The Revival (19:03)

Really good match to start this show. I was curious going into it how well The Revival’s style would work in a Ladder Match, but surprisingly well. They wanted to pull off some creative spots where Kofi shows off his agility. The Revival try to ram a Ladder long way into Kofi, but he leaps over the ladder, leaps on the apron and jumps off the ropes into the ladder that the Revival are still holding. The Revival ram the ladders into their opponents, but there is one spot where Kofi is standing on a ladder and The Revival tip it over, but Kofi lands feet first on the top rope and springboards back to hit Scott Dawson with a tornado DDT, before he hits Dash with a Trouble In Paradise. Kofi goes back up the ladder, but The Revival stop him and hit him with a Shatter Machine off the ladder. The only problem I have with this match is that Big E. spends a lot of time setting up the final few spots. It makes him look foolish because he could’ve just gone up and grabbed the titles in the time it took him to set up these spots. But he bridges a ladder between the second turnbuckle and a ladder in the middle of the ring. He tries to do something to Dawson on it, but Dash makes the save, and Big E. gets suplexed on the ladder, but it doesn’t break, so then Dash splashes Big E. through the ladder. Kofi springboards onto the ladders set up in the ring and he fights both members of the Revival 2-on-1. The Revival are about to take home the gold (or silver) before Big E. comes back and he hits Dash with a Big Ending off the ladder. Kofi then sends Dawson off by swinging the titles into his face and when they stop swinging, Kofi is able to unhook the titles.

My Rating: ***3/4

Match 2: Aleister Black def. Buddy Murphy (13:40)

These two deserved better than performing for a dead crowd. This match was really good too. Aleister immediately starts by attempting a Black Mass, which Murphy dodges and goes outside. They are pretty evenly matched throughout the match, but Murphy hits Aleister with a knee to the jaw and that’s gonna be the target for the rest of the match. Murphy slams Aleister’s face into the steel steps on the outside and Black’s nose gets bloodied. But, Aleister Black, being a tough bastard is going to make Murphy earn this victory. Murphy sunset flips over Aleister off the top rope, and wedges his head under the top turnbuckle with Black’s feet still standing on the second rope and Murphy repeatedly superkicks him in the face before he picks up and hits him with a running powerbomb and gets a 2 count. Murphy and Black exchange kicks and Murphy gets the upper hand until he goes for a knee that Black dodges and hits a Black Mass that sends Murphy’s soul flying into the second row and Aleister Black wins, bloody nose and all.

My Rating: ***3/4

Match 3: Raw Tag Team Championship Match: The Viking Raiders (c) vs. The OC (Gallows & Anderson) ended in a double countout (8:29)

Hey, what are you doing right now? If it’s not chowing down on some delicious KFC, what are you doing with your life? They have a few indy wrestlers they called fans chowing down at a table loaded with food from KFC. But that’s more interesting than this match. The OC isolate Erik for a little bit which is lame. These are brawling teams, just let them have a fight. But nah, we gotta do the boring TV style match. The match gets thrown out because both teams are outside the ring and the referee counts them all out. The Raiders put Karl through the KFC table.

My Rating: **

Match 4: TLC Match - King Corbin def. Roman Reigns (22:11)

We have a triple threat of crap here. Baron Corbin. Dog food. And going way too long. Yeah, remember the dog food feud. The one where Baron Corbin covered Roman in dog food. Yeah, 2019 sucked. They gave this match over 20 minutes. 20 fucking minutes for Baron Corbin! 10 minutes is too long for Baron Corbin! AHHHHH! This match is as boring as you can expect it to be. It’s just punches, stomping, taunting, and occasionally, they actually do something. Roman samoan drops Corbin through one of the announce tables. Roman goes for an around the world Spear on Corbin, but he runs into a superkick from Dolph Ziggler. They get out a can of dog food and start beating up one of the ring crew for whatever reason, probably to fill time because they have to do something to fill these 22 MINUTES! A bunch of security guards run down to get beat up by Roman, then the Revival run down and beat up Roman. Roman dives on everyone on the outside, then goes for a Spear, but he gets a chair thrown in his face by Ziggler, then he gets a Shatter Machine, and Corbin finishes this with an End of Days on a chair. I watched this show when it happened, and at the time, I was pissed. Because I knew there was absolutely zero way that Corbin was going to get the last word, which meant we were going to have to watch these two fight again! NOOOOOOOOOOO!

My Rating: *

Match 5: Bray Wyatt def. The Miz (6:35)

I feel like I stand alone on this match. Honestly, I don’t think it’s that bad. If it went any longer than 10 minutes, than it might’ve approached that territory. But for the time it has, it’s fine. It isn’t good, but it isn’t terrible. One of the problems people apparently had was Bray no selling everything that Miz did to him, which I think is absurd because it’s consistant with how Bray had been booked the last few months. It’s not like Bray and The Fiend are different people, they share the same body. I don’t think it’s so much that Bray doesn’t feel pain. He does, but he laughs it off. Miz dislocates his shoulder and Bray rams it into the barricade, putting it back into place. I did like that. Bray hits a Sister Abigail on the outside, and Miz almost gets counted out, but he runs back in and gets another Sister Abigail and Bray takes the W. After the match, The Fiend pops up on the big screen, and Bray brings a heavy mallet out from under the ring, but who would make his return. Bryan Daniel… Oh, sorry, Daniel Bryan with a haircut and no beard. He kicks the shit out of Bray and gets ready to hit Bray with the mallet, but the lights go out and when they come back on, Bray has vanished.

My Rating: **

Match 6: Tables Match - Bobby Lashley def. Rusev (13:25)

While Baron Corbin was dumping dog food on Roman on SmackDown, Bobby Lashley was cucking Rusev on Raw. The product really was the drizzling shits around this time. I hated this storyline with a burning passion. And up until this show, I had thankfully forgotten about it. Not only did they do this, but they dragged it on for months and months and you can just tell that nobody in this storyline wanted to be in it. Despite the buildup, they just about manage to have a serviceable match. I did like that they actually tried to put each other through a table instead of just doing spots. One of the only things I remember them doing other than that is Rusev bringing a guardrail to the ring and leaning it against the apron. But Lashley throws Rusev onto it instead. What kills this match for me is that this whole buildup, people want to see Lashley and Lana get their comeuppance. That’s the only thing we want out of this and we want Rusev to come out strong. But when Lashley begins wailing on him with a kendo stick, he begs Lana for help. Ugh. Rusev has nasty welts on his back from the beating, but he eventually gets the kendo stick and wails on Lashley with it. Rusev is getting to finish this when Lana gets in and jumps on Rusev’s back, and Lashley tries to Spear him through a table when she gets off, but the table doesn’t break and then Lashley throws him over his head through another table. So they cuck Rusev, and then they beat him. Way to make him look like a chump.

My Rating: **1/4

Main Event: Women’s Tag Team Championship TLC Match - The Kabuki Warriors (c) def. Becky Lynch & Charlotte Flair (25:57)

A disappointing end to this PPV. This match had potential to be incredible. Poor Kairi Sane too. She is so much better than she looks here. They had creative spots and it has a really cool finish, but the match overall holds it down. First and foremost, Kairi gets concussed at some point during the match, and I don’t know when, but I suspect it’s early in the match. Asuka and Kairi tie Becky Lynch to a ladder with a rope like a damsel in distress being tied to a railroad track and that’s going to be important in the finish. Charlotte eventually unties her and they go ham on Asuka and Kairi. Mid-way through the match, it becomes frighteningly clear that something is wrong with Kairi. She’s stumbling around and fumbling spots. Charlotte Spears her on the outside, and Kairi fumbles it, and Charlotte reacts by slapping her in the fucking face! Now even if Charlotte doesn’t know Kairi has a concussion, that’s still no excuse to just slap her like that! Charlotte picks Kairi up again, and has to muscle poor, delirious, Kairi up so she can take a powerbomb through a table. Charlotte tries to put Asuka through a table, but Asuka powerbombs her through from the apron. Charlotte and Kairi are down, leaving Asuka and Becky in the finish where Becky whips Asuka with the rope that’s still tied to the ladder. Becky goes up the ladder, but Asuka grabs the rope from the outside, tugs on it and tips the ladder over. Becky hits the top rope, allowing Asuka to run in and grab the titles above the ring. And a second later, Roman Reigns, Corbin and other guys I didn’t get time to see come out brawling. Roman Spears Corbin off the high ground into the mass of guys below them and that’s how the show ends. Normally, I’d be pissed by that ending, but I would hope that the abrupt ending is so they can get Kairi backstage for help and not so the brawl can steal their thunder… It’s probably the latter.

My Rating: ***

Cagematch Rating: 4.33

My Rating: 4/10

Remember how I said the running theme of this PPV is not sticking the landing? They don’t stick the landing with the dog food feud. Roman and Corbin were gonna continue their feud that nobody cared about. It’s unclear if the love triangle feud will continue, but the damage is already done to Rusev. And the main event fumbled, which, I’ll admit, isn’t their fault. If it were me booking that match, I probably would’ve given it 25 minutes too, but Kairi is fucked up for presumably the whole match. It’s crazy to me that this TLC PPV is ranked higher than the first TLC I watched, because this one was way worse in my opinion.

Next up will be the first Unforgiven of the series. Unforgiven 2007, a show built up around the return of The Undertaker.

 

[Chris]

The last time Roman was pinned lmao

 

[Jarf]

The last time Roman was pinned lmao

And the last time ever at the rate he's going

 

[Jarf]

Unforgiven 2007

The best way to describe this PPV is unremarkable and easily forgettable. And honestly, it didn’t need to be. It could’ve been a lot better.

Match 1: ECW Championship Match - CM Punk (c) def. Elijah Burke (12:00)

An average opener to start this show. You can tell they didn’t give a shit about Elijah Burke because they play a video package during his entrance. When the video’s over, Burke is in the ring with his music playing. This is a few weeks after Punk beat John Morrison for the title on an episode of ECW in a great match that they probably should’ve saved for this show. It’s your typical mid-2000s WWE match where the heel gets heat on the babyface for a while. Burke works over Punk’s back, and even pulls him off the apron, causing Punk to land on his back on the mat with a splat. Punk ends up winning with a lucky rollup. A finish that doesn’t really do either guy favors honestly.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 2: WWE Tag Team Championship Match - MVP & Matt Hardy (c) def. Deuce & Domino (9:20)

I’ll make the argument that MVP and Hardy being Tag Team Champions while they were feuding was intriguing. It was at least different. This match was honestly entertaining for that element. MVP and Matt try to one up each other, beating up the challengers. Deuce and Domino end up isolating Matt, and MVP starts to walk away from the ring, but while they continue beating up Matt, MVP runs back down and allows Matt to tag him and he turns the match around in their favor. But in the finish, Matt ends up making MVP butt heads with one of their challengers before he hits the other with a Twist of Fate to retain.

My Rating: **3/4

Match 3: No DQ Match for Carlito Only - Triple H def. Carlito (10:40)

For those confused by the stipulation, Carlito couldn’t get disqualified, but Triple H could. But even with that stipulation, Triple H basically kicks Carlito’s ass for most of the match. Carlito does get to hit HHH with the ring bell, he chokes him with a cable and hits him in the head with a trash can. But Triple H low blows Carlito while the referee’s back is turned and then he hits Carlito with a Pedigree for the win.

My Rating: **

Match 4: Women’s Championship Match - Candice Michelle (c) def. Beth Phoenix (7:18)

They were really building up Beth as the monster heel of the women’s division. She wrecked basically everyone in her path on the way to this match. So she spends most of this match torturing Candice. Candice occasionally will get a shot or two in, but it is allll Beth. Candice only wins via a crucifix pin and she cannot get out of the ring fast enough. Candice looks relieved that this match is over, so even though Beth lost, she doesn’t look any worse for it.

My Rating: **1/4

Match 5: World Heavyweight Championship Triple Threat Match - Batista def. The Great Khali (c) & Rey Mysterio (8:10)

In case you were thinking that WWE would never put a World Title on Omos, allow me to remind you that they put a World Title on someone worse than Omos. The Great Khali was attrocious in the ring, and being in the ring with Batista and Rey only makes him look worse by comparison. Whenever Rey and Batista did something, the match was good, but Khali is in control for a fair amount of time and that is the bad parts of the match. Towards the end of the match, Khali gets tied up in the ropes by Batista, but he ends up hung up on the second rope and Rey hits him with a 619, then he runs to the other side to hit Khali with a 619. Khali lands on his ass which allows Rey to hit him with a West Coast Pop. Batista pulls Rey off Khali and Batista Bombs him on Khali’s torso. Batista then tosses Rey out of the ring, before he hits Khali with a Spinebuster to win the World Heavyweight Title. I think I would’ve preferred Rey winning this match, but as long as it wasn’t Khali, that’s all that matters.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 6: World Tag Team Championship Match - Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch (c) def. Paul London & Brian Kendrick (12:00)

Surprisingly… the best match of the night. Not great or anything, but it’s a decent match. The mix of styles is a nice mix. London and Kendrick using their high flying and Cade and Murdoch being the strikers. Both teams show decent teamwork throughout the match including a spot where London and Kendrick hit suicide dives on Cade and Murdoch on opposite sides of the ring. Cade and Murdoch isolate Kendrick for a while before London gets tagged in and he goes wild, even messing up a couple times because he’s moving too fast. Kendrick ends up getting tagged back in. He attempts a Sliced Bread #2, but Murdoch tosses him away and Cade hits a sitout spinebuster. London runs in and he gets back dropped over the top rope and hits the ground with a splat while Murdoch pins Kendrick to retain.

My Rating: ***

Match 7: WWE Championship Match - Randy Orton def. John Cena (c) via DQ (7:33)

What a disappointing match this was. Another example of how this show could’ve been better because this could’ve been the match of the night. They had a great match at SummerSlam the month before and there was an added personal stake in this match because Orton punted Cena’s dad a few weeks before. Not only that, but people were so tired of Cena being champion. He had held the title since Unforgiven the year before. Orton needed to win here. Everybody was ready for it. And this match is the most engaged this crowd has been all night. They could’ve told such a compelling story here where Cena gets increasingly angry until he makes a fatal mistake that costs him the title. But nah, that’s not what they did here. They needed to stretch this title reign out. Cena still gets increasingly angry, but he just wails on Orton in the corner until the referee disqualifies him and the crowd fills the arena with boos. Cena’s dad is here too, so while Cena Jr. has the STF on Orton on the outside, Cena Sr. hits Orton with a punt kick. Lousy, lousy booking.

My Rating: **

Main Event: The Undertaker def. Mark Henry (12:00)

This is the moment this show was built up around. Mark Henry had manhandled Undertaker in May and put him on the shelf and they built it on The Undertaker’s return match. Now to tell you the truth, this match should’ve been for the World Heavyweight Title. After Edge got injured, they should’ve put the title on Mark Henry instead of Khali. Henry wasn’t so great around this time, but he’s still leagues preferred to Khali. And this match could’ve told another interesting story where Henry dominated the SmackDown roster as champion while Undertaker was gone, and Taker could come back to reclaim what he lost. Because let’s be honest, there was nobody who thought Mark Henry was going to win this match. At least with the title on the line, you would have more of a reason to get invested. This match is nothing great either though. It starts out alright, Henry even hits Undertaker with a superplex which was shocking, but it soon turns into a drag where Henry continuously hits Undertaker with splashes. Undertaker hits a chokeslam on Henry which Henry kicks out of. Then he tries to hit a Last Ride, but Henry gets out of it. He goes for the ten punches in the corner, but Undertaker picks him up on his shoulder from this position and hits a Last Ride to get the win.

My Rating: **

Cagematch Rating: 4.35

My Rating: 3/10

There isn’t really any annoying booking apart from the WWE Title match, but it’s so unremarkable and not worth watching.

Next up I’ll be watching a bad PPV from what was honestly, a pretty good year for WWE, Fastlane 2016.

 

[Jarf]

Fastlane 2016

Oof, this was a bit rough.

Match 1: Becky Lynch & Sasha Banks def. Naomi & Tamina (10:09)

One of WWE’s favorite tropes. “Can they co-exist?” The story going into this is that Becky and Sasha team up against their common enemies. And amazingly, they don’t tease fighting a single time during or after the match. Naomi & Tamina isolate Becky from Sasha for a while until she makes the hot tag to Sasha. The finish comes when Sasha gets Tamina into a Bank Statement, and as Naomi goes to break it up, Becky runs in and puts her in the Dis-Arm-Her before Tamina taps out. Not bad or good, just average.

My Rating: **3/4

Match 2: Intercontinental Championship Match - Kevin Owens (c) def. Dolph Ziggler (15:11)

Pretty good match, it’s a shame that nobody remembers it. Probably because they had these two fighting each other on Raw every week and nobody cared at this point. Owens had won the Intercontinental Title on the last Raw, in a 5-way. Owens grounds Ziggler for a lot of the match, but when Ziggler starts to fight back into the match, it picks up. It has a nice ending sequence. Owens is going to powerbomb Ziggler onto the apron, but Ziggler hurricanranas Owens into the steel steps and then throws him back into the ring. Ziggler goes for a superkick, but Kevin pulls the referee in front of him, kicks Ziggler’s knee and then pulls him in for a Pop-Up Powerbomb.

My Rating: ***1/2

Match 3: Ryback, Kane & Big Show def. The Wyatt Family (Harper, Rowan & Strowman) (10:36)

I was very unpleased by this at the time. This was lame as fuck. The rumor at the time was that they were planning Brock vs Bray at Mania, which looking back now, I’m glad they didn’t do, because that would’ve just been a squash, so I assumed they had the Wyatts going after “the titans” of WWE before they go after the biggest Titan of them all. And then they lost… Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr! So not only does the wrong team win, this match is so boring. It’s as boring a match as it sounds. It’s just a lot of punching, powerslams, body slams. And I mean there are A LOT of body slams. Ryback body slams Harper over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over to the point where I’m wondering if it’s ever going to stop. This has a really bad finish where Ryback hits Harper with a Shell Shock where Harper lands on his shoulder and “The Titans” win. And Bray Wyatt’s face on the outside says it all. He knows his gimmick has been assassinated.

My Rating: *1/2

Match 4: Divas Championship Match - Charlotte (c) def. Brie Bella (12:28)

Not so bad, but it’s still not good. It has it’s good moments but it also has its flops. Commentary makes sure to mention that Brie is wearing the same style of kickpads that Daniel Bryan wore at WrestleMania 30 which is cool. But honestly, whenever Brie gets some offense, she’s using her husband’s moves, which was weird. Brie hits a missile dropkick off the top rope, but she hurts her knee. But in the finish, Charlotte attempts the Figure 4, but Brie is able to avoid it and puts Charlotte in a Yes Lock. Ric Flair on the outside tries to pull Charlotte out, but Brie adjusts her position to apply an actually really good boston crab. Like she has Charlotte’s body bent at an awkward angle with this thing. Charlotte powers Brie off her and puts her in the Figure 8 to make her tap out.

My Rating: **3/4

Match 5: AJ Styles def. Chris Jericho (16:25)

The third match between these two, and we’re only a month apart from AJ debuting at the Royal Rumble. Another good match, but I feel like it falls short slightly. The match begins to pick up in the final several minutes when AJ makes an attempt at a phenomenal forearm, but Jericho springboards off the ropes next to him and kicks AJ’s legs while he’s standing on them and Styles hits the mat hard. Jericho reverses a Frankensteiner from the top rope and puts AJ in the Walls of Jericho. Styles makes it to the ropes and Jericho is starting to get frustrated that Styles is still in the match, calling him a stupid, stupid man. Jericho puts Styles in a Liontamer on the outside and Styles barely makes it back in the ring before the 10 count, but he’s immediately hit by a Codebreaker on the second rope. Jericho covers AJ, but Styles’ arm is under the bottom rope. Styles manages to hit Jericho with the Styles Clash, but Jericho kicks out, then AJ puts him the Calf Crusher and forces Jericho to tap out. Jericho teases fighting AJ after the match again, but he puts his hand out and the two shake hands.

My Rating: ***3/4

Then after this, we have a commercial for the Edge and Christian show on the WWE Network. They have The New Day as guests on the Cutting Edge Peep Show. And wow, I can just see Vince writing what Edge and Christian have to say because they really just go right for the racist jokes. “Come on, it’s such good shit!” The League of Nations interrupt, they get insulted by Edge and Christian and The New Day and that’s basically it… they could’ve just said “watch the show.”

Match 6: Curtis Axel def. R-Truth (2:48)

At some point, I turned off the PPV and turned on a random episode of Raw from this time… Why the fuck was this on the show? For this Golden Truth angle? On a PPV? This match had no buildup whatsoever and it’s just happening. Curtis Axel was in a stable called Social Outcasts, and Goldust comes down to help out Truth, but ends up costing him the match by tossing in Slater or someone, I don’t remember. Truth gets distracted by that and Axel rolls him up from behind. They really just had to shoehorn this in there. You mean on a show that goes 3 hours, you couldn’t find a place for this on an episode of Raw? I’m not even going to dignify this with a rating because it’s such a waste of everyone’s time.

Main Event: WWE World Heavyweight Championship #1 Contenders Triple Threat Match - Roman Reigns def. Dean Ambrose & Brock Lesnar (17:38)

Now I’m really conflicted about this match. On one hand, this match was awesome. On the other hand, the booking for it was terrible and did no favors for Roman. I’ll talk about the action here and talk about how I feel about the booking here later. The last show Brock was on, he was in an amazing Triple Threat Match and while this one doesn’t come close to touching that one, this was still really great. It starts out the way I expected it to, with Brock suplexing Roman and Dean around the ring. He really ragdolls Ambrose especially in this match. Roman and Dean eventually come together to work against Brock. They put him through the table together with a powerbomb, and begin to fight amongst each other. Dean knocks down Roman and notices Brock getting back up. He gets Roman back up so they can go back to double teaming Lesnar. They powerbomb him through a second table before they go back to fighting in the ring. Ambrose even hits Roman with a Dirty Deeds and the crowd nearly lose their marbles, but Roman kicks out. Roman picks up Dean for a samoan drop, but Brock runs back in and german suplexes Roman with Dean still on his shoulders! Brock begins to beat on Roman, but Roman superman punches Brock, before he hits him with a Spear. Roman goes for a pin, but Brock latches onto Roman’s arm and puts him in a Kimura Lock. Roman powers Brock up, to the point he’s standing on his feet. So Dean runs in with a chair and hits Lesnar with it. So he wails on Brock, before he turns to Roman and wails on him with the chair too. Then he sends Lesnar out of the ring with one more chairshot before he turns around into a Spear from Roman. And Roman Reigns is again, going to fight for the title in the main event of WrestleMania. Triple H comes out, holds out the title and they stare at each other to send the crowd home miserable.

My Rating: ****

Cagematch Rating: 4.38

My Rating: 5.5/10

So now let’s talk about how WWE once again made Roman Reigns look bad in an attempt to get people to cheer him. The problem is not Roman Reigns himself, the problem is the fact that there are other people on the roster infinitely more over than he was. One of them being, you know… Dean Ambrose. One of his opponents on this show in a match to determine who would challenge for the world title at WrestleMania… Yeah, didn’t think that one through, did you, WWE? At the time, everybody knew that Roman was winning, but stupid, naive 17 year old me was holding out hope that they’d go with Ambrose. Not only that, but even though he was expected to win, he felt like the third wheel in this match. The only two people gave a shit about in this match was Brock and Ambrose. It was pretty much “Brock Lesnar vs Dean Ambrose… oh and Roman is there too, I guess.” He was by far the worst part of this match, which isn’t to say he was bad, but Brock looked like a monster as always and Dean looked like he was carrying the biggest nuts in the world by showing no fear. Roman was easily the least interesting element in this match. I also should mention that this was in Ambrose’s home state of Ohio. So not only does Roman win, but he beats his best friend in his own home state. Cool. Just goes to show that Vince McMahon has absolutely no clue what makes a good babyface.

Up next, I’ll be watching another Attitude Era UK show. Hooray… Rebellion 1999.