Reviewing every WWE PPV in order from worst to best

[Jarf]

Capitol Punishment (2011)

Why did WWE spell capital with an O?

Match 1: United States Championship Match - Dolph Ziggler def. Kofi Kingston (c) (11:05)

This was a good way to start the show. Not a great match but a good one. It’s a back and forth match for most of the match. Ziggler was using the Sleeper Hold as his finisher at the time, so Kofi spends the latter half of the match avoiding that. In the final few minutes, Kofi is weirdly in control. Anytime Ziggler attempted something, Kofi would come up with someone to counter Ziggler. Kofi hits an SOS at one point and gets a near fall. Ziggler goes for the Zig Zag, but Kofi holds onto the ropes and Dolph falls back. Kofi drops on the second rope in front of Vickie Guerrero, who rakes Kofi’s eyes, and Dolph jumps on Kofi’s back, puts him in the Sleeper Hold. Kofi passes out and the referee calls for the bell.

My Rating: ***1/4

Match 2: Alex Riley def. The Miz (9:15)

Now, I’ll be honest, I think Alex Riley had potential. This storyline got him super over. He gets a huge pop when he comes out. He had a sweet theme song that not a lot of people remember. The drawback from this match is that most of this match is The Miz spends most of the match beating on Riley, which doesn’t make him look good. Eventually, Riley gets fed up and he tackles Miz to the floor and nails him with punches. They go outside and Riley tosses Miz around the ring. Michael Cole gets up and starts lecturing Riley and I loved this. Riley grabs Cole by the collar and drags him over the table. He follows Miz back in the ring and he hits an Impaler DDT to defeat his former mentor.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 3: Alberto Del Rio def. Big Show via referee’s decision (4:52)

Del Rio gets jumped by Big Show before the match. He tosses Del Rio around the ring and throws him inside. But Big Show is attacked by Mark Henry who puts Big Show through one of the announce tables before slamming his knee into the remains of the table. And that’s the story here, Big Show has a bad wheel. That’s what Del Rio goes after in this match. Big Show gets some power moves in, but eventually, his knee gives out and the referee rings the bell.

My Rating: *

Match 4: Intercontinental Championship Match - Ezekiel Jackson def. Wade Barrett (c) (6:46)

Basically their Over the Limit match. Zeke uses his power to his advantage, Barrett tries to wear him down. By this point, The Corre is no more. Slater and Gabriel have left Barrett. But Barrett hits a Wasteland on Zeke that Zeke kicks out of it. Zeke gets up, he puts Barrett in the Torture Rack and Barrett gives up.

My Rating: *3/4

Next CM Punk does an interview and says a lot of stuff that makes sense. D.C. is known for politicians, who are liars, which… true. He says he’s honest and after he beats Rey Mysterio, he’s going to do the most honest thing the WWE has ever seen. A couple weeks later, he cuts the Pipe Bomb.

Match 5: CM Punk def. Rey Mysterio (14:58)

Match of the night goes to this match, which, what can you expect from these two. Punk turned the tides in his favor after Mysterio attempts a west coast pop from the apron onto Punk on the outside. Punk catches him and drops him, ribs first on the barricade. Punk spends the next several minutes working over Mysterio’s ribs, but the match gets going after Mysterio sends Punk out of the ring with a reverse hurricanrana. He hits a second rope moonsault, followed by a diving headbutt to a standing Punk. There’s a really cool sequence here. Punk does a sunset flip, Rey rolls through, attempts a kick to the head, Punk ducks rolls Rey from behind, but Rey rolls back on his feet, Punk gets up, goes for a kick to the head. Rey ducks and Punk does a full spin on the kick. Rey kicks Punk’s leg out from under him, leap frogs over Punk and then hits a kick to the head. Punk’s shoulder hits the ring post, and Rey hits the 619 on Punk in that position, but Punk goes to the outside. Rey rolls him back in and attempts a splash, but Punk gets his knees up and goes for the pin. Rey kicks out and Punk yells out of frustration and bites the bottom rope. Rey manages to reverse the GTS twice. The first time, he reverses it in a franksteiner into a pinning position, but Punk kicks out. The second time, he arm drags Punk into the second rope and goes for the 619, but Punk catches him in the 619, and gets him into position on his shoulders for the GTS! 1, 2, 3. What a match!

My Rating: ****

Match 6: World Heavyweight Championship Match - Randy Orton (c) def. Christian (14:09)

Two great matches back to back from each other. And I actually say they should’ve put this match on last. I’ve already said how I feel about this feud. The chemistry between these two was fantastic. And this match is another great showing of that. Since Over the Limit, Christian has turned heel and gave Orton a concussion by nailing him with the title. Orton no longer has the concussion but the concern from commentary is that there’s lingering effects. So Christian targets Orton’s head for a lot of this match. He also avoids the RKO like the plague for a lot of this match, he counters it a few times. Christian goes for a Spear out of the corner and Orton reverses it into a powerslam. Orton goes for an RKO and Christian shoves him off, Orton lands on the back of his head. He gets up and immediately clutches his head, and Christian hits a Spear. In the finish, Christian goes to the top rope, he jumps off and lands on his feet after Orton dodges. Christian turns around into an RKO and Orton makes the cover, but Christian’s foot is under the bottom rope. And that will lead to another match.

My Rating: ****

Match 7: Evan Bourne def. Jack Swagger (7:08)

The referee announces this match as a “bonus attraction match” and then Jack Swagger’s music hits. That is unironically funny. I say that, but this match isn’t bad. I don’t think it’s good, but it’s not bad either. Swagger wears down Bourne and his cockiness gets the best of him as he spends too much time beating up Bourne, and Evan makes a comeback. Evan attempts an Air Bourne, but Swagger moves out of the way and Bourne lands on his feet. Swagger goes for the Gutwrench but Bourne moves behind Swagger and tries to get him in a sunset flip pin. Bourne gets his foot up and Swagger catches it, puts Bourne in the Ankle Lock. But Bourne rolls forward in the ankle lock, rolling Swagger forward too in a pinning position (sorry if i didn’t explain it very well) to get the win.

My Rating: **3/4

Main Event: WWE Championship Match - John Cena (c) def. R-Truth (14:45)

This went pretty much the same amount of time as the two great matches we had earlier, which makes this match look worse in comparison. I’m not saying pushing R-Truth was a bad idea. I like R-Truth. But this match is not good at all. Most of this match is R-Truth wearing down Cena. You know the meme, Cena’s five moves of doom. Where he would hit very little offense and still win. That’s pretty much this match. The finish also destroys any credibility Truth built up in the last 2 months as well. He goes outside. He grabs the hat off a little kid, takes his cup of water and takes a drink out of it. The most unrealistic thing on this whole show is that a little kid wanted a cup of water. Not a Pepsi or Coke or something? Anyway, the kid throws the water in Truth's face. Cena tosses him back in and hits an AA on Truth to get the win. What a butt ass finish.

My Rating: **

Cagematch Rating: 4.60

My Rating: 6.5/10

This PPV was not good at all. This show did give us 2 great matches with a pretty good opener. So there is some good stuff on this show. However, a lot of this show is just boring TV matches. That main event did R-Truth no favors either. Orton vs Christian should've gone last honestly.

Survivor Series must have the worst track record of the big 4 of disappointing the fans. Next show I'll have to watch will be Survivor Series 1991.

 

[Jarf]

Survivor Series 1991

At the start of the show, they play footage of Randy Savage being bitten by Jake Roberts’ snake and Jack Tunney announces that neither man will be wrestling at the show, but he does book a match between the two at This Tuesday in Texas. This Tuesday in Texas is going to be talked about a lot during this show.

Match 1: Survivor Series Tag Team Elimination Match - Ric Flair, Ted DiBiase, The Mountie & The Warlord def. Roddy Piper, Bret Hart, Virgil & British Bulldog (22:48)

Hot damn, what an opener! This match was so good that I was wondering why it isn’t brought up more often. And I think I got my answer with the finish. But for the most part, this was very fun to watch. This was a war all the way through. Everybody got a chance to shine in this match. Piper in particular was very intense. He lights Flair up with lightning quick chops in the beginning. 10 minutes go by before an elimination is made and that should’ve been my first clue that this match was gonna have a stupid finish. Bulldog is out first, being pinned by the illegal man, Flair. But Warlord is next, pinned by Piper who was also illegal. Now, in the finish, everybody gets in the ring to fight, but Flair gets sent to the outside by Piper. And the referee disqualifies everybody who was in the ring, making Flair the sole survivor for his team… LAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!!!! Even with the dumb finish, I had a lot of fun watching this match and I don’t want to rate it any lower for that because everybody was on point for this match.

My Rating: ****1/4

Match 2: Survivor Series Tag Team Elimination Match - Sgt. Slaughter, Jim Duggan, El Matador & Texas Tornado def. Col. Mustafa, The Berzerker, Skinner & Hercules (14:19)

This match was 8 minutes shorter than the opener, but it somehow feels longer. This match stunk up the joint. The crowd is at least hot, but pretty much anything excited people back then. Mustafa is the first man eliminated by Slaughter with a clothesline. Hercules is next, eliminated by a forearm from Tito. Skinner is next, eliminated by Slaughter. And then the sole member of his team, The Berzerker is eliminated by a clothesline from Duggan. The babyface team gets a clean sweep.

My Rating: *1/2

Match 3: WWF Championship Match - The Undertaker def. Hulk Hogan (c) (12:45)

That’s right. This match wasn’t the main event, and it’s solely so they can book a rematch later on the show. A year after The Undertaker debuted, he’s getting a title shot against Hulk Hogan. And honestly, I’d say this had an interesting story. The Undertaker was being presented as someone you can’t hurt and the few offensive moves Hogan gets on him in this match doesn’t seem to hurt him. So I think this presented an interesting challenge for Hulk. Of course, normally when this happened, Hulk would beat them, because of course he does. But not here. Undertaker spends a lot of the match wearing down and choking Hogan. Until eventually, he gets Hulk up for a Tombstone and he hits it…. And Hogan gets up 3 seconds later and completely no sells it… Okay. Cool. Awesome. Fuck your finish kid. Now I understand, The Undertaker is pretty much doing the same with Hulk. But that’s part of his gimmick here! That’s different! Ric Flair comes down, Hogan goes out and hits him. But Paul Bearer gets on the apron and Taker gets Hogan up for another Tombstone while Flair slides a chair into the ring and Taker Tombstones Hogan onto the chair. Undertaker is the new WWF Champion… for a solid 6 days.

My Rating: *3/4

The next 10 minutes are interviews… no joke. We have 4 interviews in a row. With the last one being with Jack Tunney who books a rematch between Undertaker and Hogan at This Tuesday in Texas. It’s at this point in the show where Survivor Series is pretty much over and the rest is basically a commercial for This Tuesday in Texas.

Match 4: Survivor Series Tag Team Elimination Match - The Nasty Boys & The Beverly Brothers def. The Rockers & The Bushwhackers (23:06)

Well, just as I say that, they force me to watch this match for 23 minutes. The Rockers are really the only ones in this match who bring any life to this match. Most of this match is so boring to sit through. The Bushwhackers get their shit in early because they’re the first ones eliminated 10 minutes into the match. Now it’s 4 on 2 with The Rockers. The heel team spends a lot of the match isolating one man from their partner. Shawn eliminates Blake Beverly, but that’s the only person they manage to get out. Chaos ensues towards the end as both Rockers get in and Jannetty accidentally causes Shawn to get hit in the head. He picks one of the Nasty Boys up for a body slam and his feet hits Shawn in the face, allowing the other Nasty Boy to roll Shawn up from behind and eliminate him. This is the first tease of The Rockers breaking up. Shawn is pissed at Jannetty for causing that to happen. Jannetty fends off the heels for a short bit, but he’s pinned in a small package where his shoulder isn’t on the mat but the referee doesn’t see it.

My Rating: **1/2

Main Event: Survivor Series Tag Team Elimination Match - Big Boss Man & The Legion of Doom def. I.R.S. & The Natural Disasters (15:21)

If you’re wondering why this is 3 on 3, Savage and Roberts were originally supposed to be in this match and it would’ve been better if they were honestly. At least then you can make a case for this going last. This match feels weird being the main event because it doesn’t feel like one. Boss Man was pretty quick for a big man at this time. He gets to show off early because he’s the first one eliminated. He gets hit with I.R.S’s briefcase and he’s taken out. But the heels fall apart soon after this. Typhoon holds Hawk and I.R.S. takes a swing at him with the briefcase, but he ends up hitting Typhoon, causing him to be eliminated. Earthquake is not too happy about this. He says we’re outta here. He grabs his partner and leaves. I.R.S. after a few minutes of 2 on 1, decides to do the same, but Boss Man comes back out and forces I.R.S. back to the ring. Hawk pins I.R.S. after a clothesline from the top rope. We don’t even get a Doomsday Device? LAAAAAAAAME!

My Rating: **

They gotta shoehorn one more advertisement for This Tuesday in Texas at the end. Gene Okerlund finds Undertaker and Paul Bearer in a dark smokey room. Paul Bearer and Undertaker promise to bury Hulkamania once and for all… But Hulk said “that doesn’t work for me brother.”

Cagematch Rating: 4.63

My Rating: 4/10

This show stunk so hard. It falls off the rails after the opener. Actually, I think I should say it falls off the rails during the opener because even that has a terrible finish.

Next time will be a one match show. But that one match I’m very much looking forward to rewatching. New Year’s Revolution 2005

 

[Jarf]

And the last time ever at the rate he's going

Welp, this comment has aged poorly in a matter of two weeks

 

[Jarf]

New Years Revolution 2005

Even with the amazing main event, I think this show’s cagematch rating is generous.

Match 1: World Tag Team Championship Match - Eugene & William Regal (c) def. Christian & Tyson Tomko (12:22)

This match was okay for a bit, but boy does it fall off a cliff at the end for the worst reason. Christian and Tomko, being the heels isolate Regal from his corner for a while, and Regal’s nose gets busted. It’s a little gross, not gonna lie. Regal eventually manages to make the hot tag to Eugene, who runs wild on the heels for about 15 seconds, until he hits a dropkick where he hurts his knee. I believe this is when they decided they need to take it home. Christian and Tomko clothesline Regal over the top rope, but Eugene does the worst rollup of all time on Tomko, (yes even worse than the one Austin did to Owen after he broke his neck), and the match is over. But I won’t hold that against him because he’s probably in a lot of pain.

My Rating: **

Match 2: Women’s Championship Match - Trish Stratus def. Lita (c) (3:47)

Another match, another injury. That’s some bad luck. Lita hits a Thesz Press on Trish from the apron to the floor, and he hurts her knee as well. And it looks like a work because Trish goes after her knee, but Lita actually gets fucked up in this match. I think they had to take it home early again. Trish pins Lita after a Chick Kick.

My Rating: 1/2*

Match 3: Intercontinental Championship Match - Shelton Benjamin (c) def. Maven (6:13)

This was a painful fucking match. This was so painful. Because the first two matches were probably ended early, they had to fill in time somehow I guess and this is how they did it. I believe Shelton was just going to go in, and roll Maven up quickly. But that’s not what happened here. This crowd is booing Maven relentlessly and Maven gets increasingly angry about and the more angry he gets, the louder they boo. Maven then proceeds to cut one of the worst promos of all time. This is one of the most nothing promos I’ve ever seen where he just insults the Puerto Rican crowd. One second he says “I don’t know how many of you speak English.” Then he says “So I’m going to speak real slowly.” HOW’S THAT GONNA FUCKING HELP IF THEY DON’T SPEAK YOUR LANGUAGE?!?! This was so stupid! So after Maven’s bad promo is over, he gets back in the ring, Shelton rolls him up real quick and it’s over like that… Except no its not. Maven has a microphone back in his hand and says that didn’t count…. He demands Shelton get back in and face him again. Shelton accepts and beats Maven again in 5 seconds with the T-Bone Suplex. Now it’s over. Thank fuck. That was legitimately horrible.

My Rating: DUD

Match 4: Muhammad Hassan def. Jerry Lawler (10:55)

One word to describe this match. Rough. Jerry is past his prime, Hassan is inexperienced and they gave this match 11 minutes. Great. Jim Ross is also in Lawler’s corner for this match so there is no commentary and it’s really weird. Ross makes this match more interesting just by being on the outside, shouting at Jerry to kick out when he’s being pinned. But he doesn’t save it by much. Lawler makes a comeback towards the end, but Hassan beats him with a facebuster.

My Rating: *

Match 5: Kane def. Snitsky (11:34)

Another really bad match on this really bad PPV. Out of 5 matches, none has gotten above 2 stars yet. This match somehow stunk out the joint even worse than it already was. These two have no chemistry and the match is really slow and really sloppy at times. Snitsky focuses on Kane’s back but Kane fights back into the match. Kane continuously sits up from every power move Snitsky hits on him and Kane ends the match with a Tombstone where he almost drops Snitsky on his head. Terrible match.

My Rating: *1/4

Main Event: Elimination Chamber Match for the vacant World Heavyweight Championship with Shawn Michaels as Special Referee - Triple H def. Randy Orton, Batista, Edge, Chris Benoit & Chris Jericho (34:58)

Finally. After 2 hours of some of the worst wrestling I’ve ever witnessed, we get to this main event. I’ve seen this match a handful of times before and it’s still fucking awesome! I’d actually go as far to say it’s the best Elimination Chamber Match of all time. Batista won the beat the clock challenge and therefore, earned the right to enter the chamber last. The match begins with Benoit and Jericho and that was the best way to start it because of the chemistry those two shared. These two are really the MVPs of this match. They get this match off to a pretty decent start, then Triple H is the first to leave his pod. He goes immediately on the attack on both Benoit and Jericho. Triple H cuts Benoit open by throwing him into the chamber. But Triple H’s torment begins after he gets backdropped on the steel on the outside. Edge is next to come in and he cuts both Jericho and Triple H open. More chaos ensues and HHH hits Jericho with a Pedigree but is unable to capitalize. Orton is obviously next and he goes right for Triple H, but nobody else is safe either as Jericho ends up eating an RKO. Then Orton attempts to hit Benoit with one, but Benoit counters it into a Crossface. Triple H gets in Orton’s face while Benoit is Crossfacing him. Big mistake as Benoit lets Orton go and puts Triple H in the Sharpshooter. But Orton hits Benoit with an RKO for his troubles. Edge accidentally Spears Michaels after Orton dodges it. Edge ends up hitting Orton with the Spear but Shawn is down and can’t count the pin. Edge picks Shawn up and slaps him in the face, and I don’t know what he was expecting. Shawn superkicks Edge and allows Jericho to hit the Lionsault to eliminate Edge. Benoit hits a Diving Headbutt on Triple H from the top of a pod and Jericho turns Triple H over in the Walls of Jericho and while that’s happening, Benoit puts Triple H in the Crossface! So HHH has two submissions put on him at the same time and Batista is going nuts inside his pod! The countdown begins and Batista is let out. He leaps into the ring and proceeds to dominate Jericho and Benoit. He picks Jericho up over his head and tosses him into a camera man on the outside! Batista comes face to face with Triple H and JR is shouting at the top of his lungs “DO YOU WANNA BE THE MAN BATISTA?!” This match fucking rules! But before Batista can make a move, they’re attacked by Benoit and Orton. Batista eventually eliminates Benoit and Jericho. He Spinebusters Benoit, then Spinebusters Jericho onto Benoit’s torso and then Benoit is out. Batista then picks Jericho up on his shoulders and hits a Batista Bomb to eliminate him. Leaving Orton with the men who betrayed him. They double team Orton for a bit before Orton fights back. He low blows Batista and then hits him with an RKO. Triple H looks like he’s about to help him, but he stays down and Batista is gone. Orton has the match well in hand until Flair somehow gets into the chamber and distracts Shawn. Batista clotheslines Orton and Triple H follows that up with a Pedigree to beat Orton and win the title again. So even though that probably pissed some people off, it ended up paying off in the end. And in a brilliant bit of teasing. Batista lifts Triple H onto his shoulders, much like he did to Orton after he won the World Title and Flair is giving Triple H the thumbs up. And I’m sure this had everyone on the edge of their seats in anticipation of Batista dropping Triple H. But as they say, all in due time. This was awesome.

My Rating: ****3/4

Cagematch Rating: 4.64

My Rating: 2.5/10

Now even with that incredible main event, I cannot give this show as a whole a big rating. I think Cagematch users are being generous to this show because of that main event. But that doesn’t happen until 2 hours into the show after I’ve had to sit through 2 matches where someone gets hurt. A match that is more of a promo than it is a match, and it’s not even a good promo. And two more boring ass matches. That main event was incredible, but not even that can save this show.

Next show is another Attitude Era PPV. Unforgiven 1998.

 

[Jarf]

In Your House 21: Unforgiven

Match 1: Faarooq, Ken Shamrock & Steve Blackman def. The Nation of Domination (The Rock, Mark Henry & D’Lo Brown) (13:07)

Starting the show off mild. Ken Shamrock had been feuding with the Nation for a few months and The Nation had just kicked Faarooq out of the group and Steve Blackman is there. Surprisingly, we see very little of Shamrock in this match. I think he only gets tagged in once. A lot of this match is The Nation isolating Blackman from his corner, but Faarooq gets the hot tag and goes face to face with the new Nation leader, The Rock. They go at it while Shamrock holds off D’Lo and Blackman fights with Henry. Faarooq finishes The Rock with a Dominator that almost ends with the Rock landing on his head. And the babyfaces win.

My Rating: **1/2

They definitely cut something out of this version of the show because we immediately go to Stone Cold coming out here while everyone who was in the match is gone. Austin brings the time keeper into the ring. The story going into the main event is that Vince might screw Austin out of the title the same way Vince screwed Bret at Survivor Series. So Austin lets the time keeper know that if he gets screwed out of the title, he’ll whip his ass after he’s done with Vince.

Match 2: European Championship Match with Chyna suspended in a shark cage - Triple H (c) def. Owen Hart (12:38)

Decent match but it goes over the top in the finish. Chyna is suspended 20 feet into the air in a shark cage above the floor. Owen goes immediately on the attack on Triple H, but Triple H takes control and wears down Owen. However, a lot of this match focuses on Chyna in the cage and a part of me feels like it’s only because Russo wanted to watch Chyna in a suspended cage. Chyna spends a lot of the match trying to get out, but she’s still 20 feet in the air. She manages to bend the bars and get on the outside while Owen has Triple H in the Sharpshooter. And she’s hanging on for dear life. But the cage lowers and they show Road Dogg walking away from the controls so he obviously lowered it. And while a bunch of officials and Sgt. Slaughter hold Chyna back, X-Pac runs in and hits Owen with the European TItle and Triple H retains.

My Rating: ***

Match 3: NWA Tag Team Championship Match - The New Midnight Express (c) def. The Rock ‘N’ Roll Express (7:20)

This is such a dead crowd. They do not care about this. Some people may not remember the New Midnight Express, but they’re Bombastic Bob (Holly) and Bodacious Bart (Gunn). This match stinks. Honestly, the most exciting thing that happens is when Jim Cornette looks like he’s about to fight the referee. In the finish, Robert Gibson rolls Bart up, but Bob illegally hits a bulldog on Gibson for the champs to retain.

My Rating: *1/2

Match 4: Evening Gown Match - Luna def. Sable (2:35)

Time for your obligatory “look at our women” match. Luna cuts a promo before the match. And she’s a good promo, but it’s so hard to take her menacing voice seriously when she’s talking about stripping Sable down. And that’s the object of this match is to rip your opponent’s evening gown off. Marc Mero comes down and Sable yells at him to go away and Luna rips the gown off and Sable’s himmer hommers are looking extra large tonight. But Sable gets the last word, she Sable Bombs Luna. Rips her gown off before she chases her under the ring and comes back out with Luna’s bra and panties. She comes back out with Goldust’s robe. Weirdly lucky for her that was there.

My Rating: DUD

Vince McMahon and the stooges come out next and Vince cuts a promo where he says he won’t screw Stone Cold. But he’ll take no accountability if “Stone Cold screws Stone Cold.”

Match 5: WWF Tag Team Championship Match - The New Age Outlaws (c) def. LOD 2000 (12:13)

Average match that has a bad finish. LOD start in control, using their power and whooping the Outlaws asses. Road Dogg runs over to Billy in the corner on his knees. Animal takes Road Dogg’s head and forces him to headbutt Billy’s nutsack. The Outlaws gain control of the match and isolate Animal from Hawk. They work over his knee which is good strategy, but not very exciting. Animal makes the hot tag to Hawk and he goes wild for a while. He pins Road Dogg, but while the referee’s back is turned, Billy runs in and hits Hawk with one of the Tag Titles. But Hawk kicks out. Hawk sends Billy out of the ring before he hits Road Dogg with a German Suplex for a 3 count. LOD’s music plays and it looks like they won, but SWERRRRRRRRRRRVE! The referee counted Hawk’s shoulders down, not Road Dogg’s even though his shoulders were also definitely down. Good idea in theory, but sucks in execution. Why did the referee only count Hawk’s shoulders and not Road Dogg’s? Especially since one of Hawk’s shoulders were up! They replayed the finish and one of Hawk’s shoulders are definitely off the mat. There was a screwjob on this show but it wasn’t on Austin. LOD hit the Doomsday Device on the ref after the match as they should for being stupid.

My Rating: **1/2

Then after that, we have a mini concert where Jeff Jarrett sings with a country artist I can’t remember the name of… No offense to anyone who likes country music, but I hated it… I wouldn’t bring that up if the stage they played on didn’t come into play during the last two matches.

Match 6: Inferno Match - The Undertaker def. Kane (15:57)

I’ve seen this match before so I know how it ends, but man Inferno Matches scare the crap out of me. It just takes one spot to go wrong and someone could end up really burned. That almost happens twice with Undertaker in this match. Decent match but it’s super slow. Understandable it’s probably hot as hell in that ring, especially for Kane who has to wear that jumpsuit and the mask. Paul Bearer tosses a chair into the ring and Kane hits Taker in the head with it. Taker fights back into the match, hits a Chokeslam on Kane before tossing him over the top rope and over the flames as well. Then they make Kane look like a pansy ass by having him walk backward towards the entrance. But he’s jumped by the returning Vader and they fight their way back to the ring. Undertaker dives over the ropes onto both men. Paul Bearer grabs a chair and goes to hit Taker with it, but Taker snatches it out of his hands and hits Kane in the head and then the back. Then chases Paul Bearer onto the concert stage and hits him in the head with one of the drums. Then he goes back to the ring and Kane goes to hit him with the chair, but Undertaker big boots him back and Kane’s arm goes into the flames and frantically runs to the back with his arm burning.

My Rating: ***

Main Event: WWF Championship Match - Dude Love def. Steve Austin (c) via DQ (18:52)

A great match, but it has a confusing ending. Austin is in control early, whooping Dude Love’s ass around the ring. They go up the entrance way and up the stage. And Austin tosses Dude off the stage back first onto the concrete. A spot that made me cringe so hard. But after that horrible bump, Dude Love fights back in the match and goes after Austin’s neck. Vince McMahon comes down to the ring and the stooges get a folding chair for him. There’s a couple times where Austin is outside the ring and Vince chastises him and tells him to get back in the ring. The distractions allow Dude Love to beat on Austin further. Dude gets Austin in an abdominal stretch and Vince motions to the time keeper to ring the bell, but Austin turns it around and puts Dude Love in the stretch instead. Austin is facing the time keeper while he does this and yells at him. They do a horrible spot for Mick’s legs where Austin suplexes him into the steps. Dude tries to run away through the crowd, but Austin brings him back. Mick tunes up the band and goes for a Sweet Chin Music, but Austin catches his foot, and spins Mick around, who goes for a clothesline that Austin dodges and hits the referee. Mick gets the Mandible Claw on Austin, but with no ref. Vince tries to wake the referee up, but it’s not working and Mick and Austin roll to the outside. Austin grabs a chair and Vince tries to take it out of his hands, and Mick knocks it into his face. Mick tries to use the chair on Austin, but Austin knocks it back in his face and knocks him down. Vince tries to get Mick up, but Austin picks up the chair and nails Vince in the head with it. Austin brings Dude back in the ring, hits a Stunner on Mick and counts his own pin. Austin takes his title and leaves while some EMTs come down to tend to Vince while Howard Finkel announces Austin was disqualified for hitting an official. I don’t remember seeing that happen but okay. Pretty chaotic title match but an enjoyable one.

My Rating: ****

Cagematch Rating: 4.67

My Rating: 5.5/10

Boring PPV for the most part. Great main event, but the rest of the show feels terribly overbooked. Wrestling isn’t allowed to be simple when Russo is in town. Triple H vs Owen is ruined by the fact that most of it revolves around Chyna being in a cage. Terribly executed finish in the Tag Title Match. Sable was nice to look at but the Evening Gown Match… Yeah, the Evening Gown Match.

We haven’t had a show from 2018 in a while. That was nice. Next is Elimination Chamber 2018.

 

[Chris]

Mick Foley had a helluva 1998

 

[Jarf]

Elimination Chamber 2018

Match 1: Raw Women’s Championship Elimination Chamber Match - Alexa Bliss (c) def. Sasha Banks, Bayley, Mickie James, Sonya Deville & Mandy Rose (29:35)

The first ever women’s Chamber match. In the build to this match, in a desperate attempt to gain any advantage, Alexa forms an alliance with Mickie. The match starts with Bayley and Sonya and nothing really of note happens in this time. But Mandy Rose is first out of her pod and her and Sonya begin to double team Bayley. They make the mistake with playing with her though, and then Sasha is out next and she fights the two Absolution members off Bayley. The boss and the hugger work together and Mandy is the first to be eliminated when Sasha gets her in the Bank Statement. Sonya runs in to try and stop it but she’s taken down by Bayley and Mandy taps out. Mickie is out next and she goes wild. She climbs up the cage and on top of a pod. And she Thesz Presses off the pod onto Deville. Scary spot considering I watched Lita get hurt by doing the same thing from a smaller height. But Mickie is fine and she eliminates Sonya. Alexa smiles and nods at Mickie, but she isn’t smiling for long because Sasha hits Mickie with a backstabber, before throwing her into the arms of Bayley for a Bayley to Belly and Mickie is out. This next bit is kind of boring because Bayley and Sasha wait for Alexa’s pod to open. Alexa tries to get away from them but they corner her at every turn. Alexa goes to the top of a pod and Sasha meets her there. Bayley is hanging onto the side of the pod and Sasha straight up Lion Kings her and kicks her off the pod. Why?! Why would you turn on your one ally with another person in the match? You didn’t need to. Obviously Bayley takes offense to that and she starts fighting with Sasha. This final stretch is at least good. Bayley hits a Bayley to Belly on Sasha off the top rope, but before she can cover her, Alexa rolls her up to eliminate her. Now it’s Alexa and Sasha. Alexa hits a Twisted Bliss from the top of the pod onto a standing Sasha. But Sasha puts Alexa in the Bank Statement on the outside. They roll back in the ring and Alexa is able to escape. Sasha goes to climb up the pod, but Alexa pushes her face into the pod, and then hits a draping DDT from the top rope and Alexa retains.

My Rating: ***3/4

Match 2: Raw Tag Team Championship Match - The Bar (c) def. Titus Worldwide (Titus O’Neil & Apollo Crews) (10:05)

A very meh match. The Bar double team Apollo for a lot of the match. They isolate Apollo from Titus. The Bar keep him from tagging by using smart tag team strategy. Apollo gets the hot tag to Titus and Titus tackles The Bar and tosses Cesaro around. Apollo gets tagged back in and dives onto The Bar on the outside. But Sheamus throws Titus into the ring post and The Bar hits… what a maneuver! On Apollo to retain.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 3: Singles Match with Asuka’s WrestleMania Title Shot on the line - Asuka def. Nia Jax (8:15)

Not only was Asuka’s title shot on the line, but her undefeated streak was also on the line. This match was pretty decent actually. Asuka sells for Nia very well and makes her look good. Asuka is mainly trying to survive. She rolls Nia into an armbar and Nia picks him up in a powerbomb position by her hair and drives her into the turnbuckle. Nia picks Asuka up on her shoulders and Asuka reverses it into a pin. Asuka wins, but Nia attacks her after the match and spears her through the barricade.

My Rating: ***

Match 4: “Woken” Matt Hardy def. Bray Wyatt (9:55)

This feud was dog ass. And this match was dog ass. Let’s be honest, nobody wanted to watch these two have a regular match in this feud of two spooky people who probably should’ve been in white rooms. I say that as someone who likes both guys. This feud could’ve been very good if they had given the reins to Bray and Matt. This was pretty boring. It’s your typical WWE style where the heel is in control for a lot of the match. Eventually, the crowd get bored and begin chanting “Rusev Day”. Matt hits a Twist of Fate to win the match and thats it. I’m sorry, but you have this feud going on between Matt Hardy in his best character and Bray Wyatt who was arguably the best character in years. Nothing special. Just a match. Pretty lame.

My Rating: *

Up next, we have the Ronda Rousey contract signing. Kurt Angle comes out first, followed by Triple H and Stephanie. They introduce Ronda and they kiss her ass. They make the mistake of giving Ronda the mic and she talks for a bit. She signs the contract and Kurt Angle laughs because he sees through HHH and Stephanie’s crap. He tells Ronda they want to manipulate her for embarrassing them at WrestleMania 31. I’ll skip right to the good part, Ronda picks Triple H up and drops him through the announce table and Stephanie slaps her for it. Ronda looks right at her like a predator staring down their prey and Steph backs down immediately.

Main Event: Universal Championship #1 Contenders Elimination Chamber Match - Roman Reigns def. Braun Strowman, Seth Rollins, Finn Balor, John Cena, Elias & The Miz (40:15)

On paper, this Chamber match sounds so much better than the opening match. But that’s not the case. It goes 40 minutes and not that it’s terrible, but it doesn’t really start getting good until Strowman gets in. This was the only Chamber match with 7 people in it, so we start things off with Seth, Finn and Miz and they get us on a decent start. Cena is out of his pod first and he fights with the 3 in the ring, until Roman gets in and he slaps his opponents around. Miz hits the “It Kicks” that he stole from Daniel Bryan on all his opponents. But Braun is the next into the match he just leaves devastation in his wake. He chases Miz up on the top of a pod and tosses him off into the other 4 opponents in the ring. Braun gets Miz up and hits a Running Powerslam to eliminate him. Now it’s Elias’ time to get in the match, but he shuts his pod. In the ring, Cena, Roman, Seth and Finn all start ganging up on Braun. Finn and Seth pick him up onto Roman and Cena’s shoulders and they hit a powerbomb and pin him down but Braun kicks them all off him. Cena gets up and hits Braun with an AA and doesn’t even get a one count on that, then Roman hits Braun with a Spear, followed by a Curb Stomp from Rollins. Braun rolls to the outside where Finn hits a Coup de Grace. Eventually, they all take each other out and now Elias gets in and attempts a pinfall on everyone. Braun comes back in and Elias. Elias gets his shit in, but Braun eventually comes back in and then Elias is done for. Braun eliminates him, then Cena jumps off the top rope and into the loving arms of Braun…. Until he’s put down by another Running Powerslam. The action continues long enough before Finn hits Roman with a Coup de Grace, but Braun comes back in and hits a Powerslam on him to eliminate him, the guy I was rooting for going into the show at the time… So then Roman and Seth team up and gang up on Braun for a short bit. But much like dumbass Sasha earlier, dumbass Seth turns on Roman and they begin fighting. But Braun gets back up and he starts fucking them both up again. Seth climbs up the cage and on top of one of the pods, Braun chases him up, but Roman drops him with a Samoan Drop on the mat and Braun rolls back in and gets hit with a frog splash from the top of the pod. Braun fights off the former Shield members, hits Seth with a Powerslam and eliminates him… So Braun does all the work. He eliminates 5 men… But guess what, he’s still losing to the chosen one, Roman Reigns. Braun runs into a pod and that’s the beginning of the end. Roman hits him with a superman punch, then two spears and he wins… Tone deaf WWE back at it again… Meanwhile, Finn Balor, who never lost the Universal Title still hadn’t gotten a chance to win it back. Braun attacks Roman after the match and that post match beatdown went absolutely nowhere afterward, so what is even the point.

My Rating: ***1/2

Cagematch Rating: 4.70

My Rating: 5/10

Show sucks. Show isn’t good. The women’s Chamber was good, but the midcard is just that, mid. Good main event, but it doesn’t get good until 15 minutes into the match. And annoyingly, much like at Royal Rumble 2015, 3 great candidates for a WrestleMania Title Match were passed up for Roman Reigns. WHEN IS FINN GONNA GET A TITLE SHOT? I was screaming in my head. 2018 was a shitty year. I just know Seth and AJ’s backs were killing them from carrying this company during this year.

Next show to review will be No Way Out 2005.

 

[Jarf]

No Way Out 2005

Match 1: WWE Tag Team Championship Match - Rey Mysterio & Eddie Guerrero def. The Basham Brothers (c) (14:48)

RVD went down with an injury, so Rey recruited Eddie to be his new partner. Michael Cole says that these two are future Hall of Famers, and now they both are. This was a perfectly decent opener. The Bashams are boring but Eddie and Rey carry them to serviceable match. The Bashams isolate Rey from his corner for a while, and that’s pretty lame, but eventually, both Bashams get in and Rey jumps over, ducks under and dives between them, dodging and weaving them to get to Eddie and that’s when this match begins to pick up. Eddie goes to bring one of the tag titles into the ring, but Rey stops him. Eddie goes for a Frog Splash that Doug moves out of the way of but Eddie rolls through it. But he pretends that he crashed and burned and when Doug walks over to him, Eddie gets him in a small package pin for a 2 count. Danny tosses one of the titles in the ring, but Doug gets caught holding it after Eddie throws it to him. While the ref gets rid of it, Rey tosses the other title in the ring and Eddie hits Doug with it. Rey hits a 619 to Danny on the apron while Eddie makes the pin.

My Rating: ***

Match 2: Booker T def. Heidenreich via DQ (6:30)

So after a decent opener, they are obligated to stink out the joint. Poor Booker. He tried to make Heidenreich look good. Booker is perfectly fine in this match but Heidenreich suuuuucked. Heidenreich works over Booker for a lot of the match, but Booker fights back into the match and has time to do a spinarooni. Heidenreich gets DQ’d by hitting Booker in the throat with a chair.

My Rating: **

Then we have a backstage segment where Eddie Guerrero gives John Cena a pep talk for his match with Kurt Angle later. Eddie makes a match that he’s not even in feel like a big deal.

Match 3: Cruiserweight Championship 6-Man Elimination Match - Chavo Guerrero def. Funaki (c), Paul London, Spike Dudley, Shannon Moore & Akio (9:39)

This isn’t your typical Elimination match, it isn’t tornado rules. It’s pretty much a gauntlet match where people have to come in after someone gets eliminated. The match starts with London and Funaki, but Funaki is eliminated quick. Spike Dudley puts a knee into his back and London small packages him to eliminate him. Spike is in next and Funaki gets Spike back with a Superkick and London covers him to eliminate him. Shannon Moore gets in next and he’s eliminated after a couple minutes. He attempts a move which is pretty much Jeff Hardy’s Whisper in the Wind, but misses and London hits him with a 450 Splash. Akio is next and after a spinning neckbreaker by London off the top rope, the referee starts counting them out as they’re both down. London gets up, but Akio doesn’t and the referee eliminates him. Chavo is last and he thinks he’s gonna have an easy pass to the title, but London makes him work for it even though he’s worn out. It looks like he’s about to pull this off. He rolls Chavo up, but Chavo continues rolling through and grabs the rope and takes the title. So not a very exciting match, but as an angle to make London look good and make Chavo look like a chicken shit heel, decent.

My Rating: **3/4

Match 4: The Undertaker def. Luther Reigns (11:38)

This is as filler as filler gets. This match really feels like it’s only here to give Taker something to do. This match stinks too. Luther Reigns sucks and unlike how Booker treated Heidenreich earlier, Taker doesn’t try to make Luther look good at all. So an uninterested Taker is in the ring with somebody who sucks. That always went well. Undertaker dominates most of the match, but Luther takes the turnbuckle pad off earlier and he throws Taker’s head back into it. That was alright, it was a good way of giving Luther the advantage. But later on, Undertaker tries to get Luther on his shoulders for Snake Eyes and Luther sandbags Taker hard so Taker just drops him on the top rope. Luther hits the swinging neckbreaker and almost beats him, but this was only going to end one way. Undertaker hits Luther with the Tombstone and takes the W. What a shit match.

My Rating: *1/4

Match 5: WWE Championship #1 Contender Tournament Final Match - John Cena def. Kurt Angle (19:14)

Now this was a great match. It tells a really good story. Angle starts the match mat wrestling Cena, but Cena turns the match into a fight. Angle retreats to the outside but Cena tackles him over the announce table. Kurt turns the match back in his favor after he german suplexes Cena into the turnbuckle. Angle dominates the next several minutes. Every time Cena tries to fight back, Angle puts him right back down. John Cena goes for an FU, but Angle gets on his shoulders in an electric chair position instead. Angle victory rolls Cena, grabs his ankle and gets him in the ankle lock. Cena rolls through, Angle falls through the ropes. As Angle is getting back in, Cena hits a legdrop from the top rope and he hits an FU on Angle which Angle kicks out of and Cena thinks he’s won, but the referee tells him no that wasn’t it. Cena approaches Angle, but Angle kicks Cena’s ankle and drops him. Then Angle puts Cena in the Ankle Lock for a long time. Cena crawls to the ropes, but Angle drags him back to the center of the ring. Cena has to muster every bit of strength in him to not tap out and reaches the ropes. Angle lets go for a moment, but he goes right back to Cena’s ankle as Cena drags himself back up. He’s still holding onto the top rope, so the referee is trying to get Angle off him. Cena pushes Angle off him into the ref. Angle notices Cena’s chain in the corner and wraps it around his fist, but Cena tackles him into the corner, picks him up and drops him with an FU. The referee comes to and counts the pin which Angle kicks out of at 3.1. One of Cena’s first great matches. Very underrated.

My Rating: ****

At this point in time, Batista had yet to turn on Triple H and make his WrestleMania decision after winning the Royal Rumble. So he promised to show up to this show.

Main Event: WWE Championship Barbed Wire Steel Cage Match - JBL (c) def. Big Show (14:50)

I thought this match idea was a cool idea. The barbed wire at the top of the cage gives it a prison yard feel and makes it feel like they’re actually stuck. Admittedly, this isn’t the best match in the world, the pace is pretty slow, but I think it’s a decent match for what it is. Early in the match, JBL tries to climb over the cage, but the barbed wire stops him. Big Show dominates the early stages, but he gets cut open after JBL tosses him into the cage. JBL then does his best to keep Big Show down, but that doesn’t work for long. Big Show cuts JBL open by picking him up in a powerbomb position, JBL’s head hits the cage and then he gets dropped. Orlando and The Bashams make their way down. The Bashams cut a hole into the cage with some bolt cutters. Teddy Long comes out and sends them to the back, but not before Orlando slides the bolt cutters through the hole. JBL uses them to hit Big Show in the head. Big Show hits a Chokeslam on JBL and JBL kicks out. Big Show raises his hand and screams louder than I’ve heard him scream before and goes for another Chokeslam, but JBL low blows him and chops his leg out. JBL tries to use the cutters to cut the barbed wire, but Big Show follows him up. And I’ve seen people criticize this ending, but I think it was inventive. Big Show chokeslams JBL off the top rope and through the ring! Big Show gets down, breaks the chain off the door and walks out. The bell rings, everyone thinks Big Show has won, but then the announcer announces JBL as the winner, then we see JBL on the outside of the cage holding the title. They play footage of JBL crawling out from under the ring. Orlando and The Bashams run out and gang up on Big Show, but Batista comes out and destroys JBL’s cabinet. JBL tries to escape, but Cena comes out and drops JBL through some equipment. Cena and Batista stare at each other from a distance to end the show.

My Rating: ***

Cagematch Rating: 4.71

My Rating: 5.5/10

This is a really filler PPV, but I don’t believe it’s as bad as I’ve seen people say it is. Some parts are still absolute shit, but not everything is complete shit. Cena vs Angle was great. That main event isn’t nearly as bad as I’ve heard it was. But it really isn’t anything special.

Next show will be our first PPV from 1996. In Your House: International Incident.

 

[Jarf]

In Your House 9: International Incident

Match 1: The Bodydonnas def. The Smoking Gunns (13:05)

The Smoking Gunns are the Tag Team Champions, but this is a non-title match. Sunny also turned on the Bodydonnas and is the manager of the Gunns. An average match to start the show. The Smoking Gunns are in control for a lot of the match. They are able to isolate Skip (Chris Candido) from his corner after Sunny fakes fainting, and Skip goes over to check on her. But surprise, it was a trap. She slaps him and he’s clotheslined by both Gunns. Skip makes the hot tag to Zip who is able to turn the match back in their favor. Billy trips him on the outside though and Bart picks him up for their finisher. But Billy goes over to Sunny after he caught her roasting Skip and that causes his team the win as Skip dropkicks Bart and Zip falls on top of him for them to win.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 2: Mankind def. Henry Godwinn (6:54)

Originally supposed to be Mankind vs Jake Roberts, but due to “broken ribs”, he’s replaced by Godwinn. Henry comes out with Banjo and Kazooie music. Mick can only do so much with Godwinn, who sucked. Foley goes outside and removes the padding on the floor and he hits a swinging neckbreaker on the floor. But later on, Godwinn drops Mankind on the concrete from the apron. They get back in the ring and Henry tries to finish Mankind off, but Mankind reverses his finish and puts the Mandible Claw on Godwinn.

My Rating: **1/4

Match 3: Steve Austin def. Marc Mero (10:48)

Austin has a Stone Cold logo on the back of his trunks and it’s super uncanny. This match is pretty good, but nothing special. Austin is in control for a small portion of the match, but Mero begins to make a comeback. He flies over the ropes onto Austin. He hits a Moonsault off the apron onto a standing Austin. Mero corners Austin in the corner and stands on his chest, but Austin pushes Mero off him and Mero lands crotch first onto the top rope. Austin goes for a Stunner, but Mero holds onto the top rope to counter it. But he can’t avoid it for long because Austin hits a few moments later.

My Rating: ***

Match 4: The Undertaker def. Goldust via DQ (12:07)

Interesting format for this match. Goldust hides behind the referee and slowly approaches Taker this way at the beginning, But Taker chops Goldust down and he whoops Goldust’s ass in the first few minutes of the match. Goldust goes outside and avoids Taker. But Undertaker gets fed up and Chokeslams Goldust onto the steel steps. He picks up the top half and looks like he’s about to drop it on Goldust, but Marlena steps between them. Goldust takes the turnbuckle pad off and gets some offense in after he reverses an irish whip and Taker’s spine hits the exposed buckle. Then while Marlena is occupying the referee, Goldust drops the same steps from earlier onto Taker’s back. But even after this, Undertaker takes back the match a couple minutes later. He picks Goldust up for a Tombstone and hits it and takes forever to make the pin, because Mankind has to come out from under the ring to attack him. When Undertaker turns around, he gets dragged through the hole in the Mandible Claw by Mankind. Mankind comes out from the hole and he hovers over it, but Undertaker comes out from the other side of the ring and he attacks Mankind and the two of them brawl towards the back. Cameras pick up the two fighting backstage.

My Rating **1/2

Main Event: Camp Cornette (Vader, Owen Hart & British Bulldog) def. Shawn Michaels, Ahmed Johnson & Sycho Sid (24:32)

And oh shit, we’re already at the main event. This was a great match even if the ending and aftermath annoyed me. The crowd was hot for this match. It has some memorable spots including Ahmed catching Vader in a splash in the corner and hitting a body slam. This match is surprisingly even for the most part. Sid goes nuts on all 3 Camp Cornette members, clotheslining them over the top rope. Shawn gets to fly around onto Vader. It isn’t until the last 10 minutes when they begin isolating Shawn from his corner. Vader manhandles Shawn and Ahmed has enough of this and knocks Vader down with a nice clothesline. Shawn crawls over to make the tag to Ahmed, but the referee is distracted by Cornette. Then all 3 members of Camp Cornette triple team Shawn. In this ending sequence, a massive brawl breaks out between all 6 men. Cornette tosses his tennis racket in the ring and Vader grabs it. He takes a swing, but gets kicked in the gut by Shawn and Shawn hits Vader with it instead, but Vader kicks out. Shawn tunes up the band, but of course, we can’t make Vader look cool. Cornette grabs Shawn’s ankle and Vader squashes him in the corner, before he finishes the job with a Vader Bomb to get the win. All 6 continue brawling after the match where the babyfaces come out on top and the heels have to retreat. They might as well have had Shawn’s team win with that fucking ending…

My Rating: ***3/4

Cagematch Rating: 4.72

My Rating: 4.5/10

This is possibly the shortest show I’ve watched so far. It’s 6 minutes short of being 2 hours, it’s a breeze. But not really worth a watch. It has some things going for it, the worst match is the shortest, and the main event is pretty good. But the thing about this show is that it’s so short and there’s not a single title on the line, and there are no stakes in any of the matches on the show. There is no reason to get invested at all. This show doesn’t really feel like it accomplished anything. Sure, Vader gets a win a month before he gets a WWF Title shot, but they didn’t make him look like a monster with that ending. He had to cheat to win and ended up running away from Shawn at the end. So who was really the winner here?

Next time is another In Your House show. And it’ll be A Cold Day in Hell.

 

[Jarf]

In Your House 15: A Cold Day in Hell

This was even shorter than the last show I watched honestly.

Match 1: Hunter Hearst Helmsley def. Flash Funk (10:05)

Start off with an okay match. Nothing spectacular, but Flash gets to show off his athleticism while showcasing Chyna as Hunter’s bodyguard. If you don’t know, Flash Funk is actually 2 Cold Scorpio. Flash begins the match flying around the ring with little difficulty. Hunter takes the advantage however, after he distracts the referee, it allows Chyna to hit Flash from behind. Hunter is in control of most of the match, but Flash begins to come back in the last two minutes, and the pace picks up again. Flash looks like he’s going for the reverse 450 but Triple H crotches him on the turnbuckle. He gets up there with him and hits Flash with an over the head suplex where Flash lands on his front. Triple H then finishes the match with a Pedigree to take the W. Chyna gets in after the match, picks Flash up and crotches him on the top rope.

My Rating: **3/4

Match 2: Mankind def. Rocky Maivia (8:46)

Rocky does an interview before the match and man, it is crazy to see how much of a difference in confidence he has a year before 1998. He doesn’t quite have it on the mic. This is another okay match. It’s mainly uneventful, but it’s a solid with a couple memorable spots. It’s also surprisingly evenly matched for the most part. There is a spot where Rocky hits a Rock Bottom on the steel entrance ramp. Rocky looks like he has a chance, but he goes for a crossbody off the top rope and Mankind puts the Mandible Claw on him on the landing and rolls through. And the referee calls for the bell. Far from the quality of matches they would later have together, but an okay match nonetheless.

My Rating: **3/4

Match 3: 3-on-1 Handicap Gauntlet Match - The Nation of Domination (Faarooq, Savio Vega & Crush) def. Ahmed Johnson (13:43)

The stipulation for this match is that if Ahmed wins, the Nation will disband. This match actually sucks. Ahmed shouldn’t be having a match over 10 minutes. He gets blown up in the second match. Crush is the first man to take on Ahmed, and he wears down Ahmed enough that Savio is able to get an advantage on him. Ahmed eliminates Crush with a spinning heel kick and Savio comes down and he wears down Ahmed some more. Ahmed fights back, but Savio says screw this and he hits Ahmed with a chair and he gets disqualified. But he continues to wail on him to weaken him for the leader, Faarooq. Faarooq comes down and is very cocky. He slaps Ahmed, taunting him. But Ahmed gets a brief last gasp and hits a Pearl River Plunge on Faarooq, but Faarooq kicks out. Ahmed however, thinks he’s won, and Faarooq gets back up and chops his leg, before he hits Ahmed with a Dominator to put him away.

My Rating: *1/2

Match 4: No Holds Barred Match - Ken Shamrock def. Vader (13:21)

The only way to win this match is by submission or knockout. No pinfalls, DQs or countouts. I wasn’t a big fan of this, but there’s an interesting story at least. Shamrock wants a submission victory while Vader is going for a KO. Shamrock attacks Vader’s legs, but Vader wails on Shamrock. Any time Shamrock almost gets a submission on Vader, Vader goes to the outside and Shamrock gets increasingly frustrated. There’s a brutal spot where Vader picks Shamrock up for a suplex and then drops him to the outside. Shamrock corners Vader, and clobbers him, but Vader socks Shamrock right in the face and looks like it knocked him out, but Shamrock picks Vader’s ankle from the ground and gets him on the mat to make Vader tap out.

My Rating: ***

Main Event: WWF Championship Match - The Undertaker (c) def. Steve Austin (20:06)

It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize why they called this show, “A Cold Day in Hell.” It’s because of this main event. The Hart Foundation come down to the ring, Bret Hart is in a wheelchair and they all take a front row seat for this match. This match was surprisingly… boring. It has it’s moments, where it looks like they’re about to start beating the piss out of each other, but what they do for a lot of this match, is take turns working each other’s knees. Which means they’re both limping around towards the finish. The final few minutes are good stuff. Austin blatantly low blows Undertaker and the referee lectures him. Austin flips him the bird behind his back, then Undertaker low blows Austin. Austin yells at the referee that he just got low blowed, but the referee flips him the bird. Undertaker hits a Chokeslam, Austin rolls the outside. He hangs Taker up on the top rope, gets back in and hits a Stunner. But before he makes the cover, the bell rings and they cut to Brian Pillman ringing the bell before he gets up and acts innocent. The distraction is enough to allow Undertaker to recover. He gets up and gets Austin for a Tombstone, but Austin reverses it into a Tombstone position, but Undertaker reverses it again and hits the Tombstone to finish Austin. He doesn’t have time to celebrate as the Hart Foundation jump in and gang up on him, leaving Bret alone in a wheelchair. Stone Cold goes over, pushes Bret over and grabs one of his crutches and goes in to beat the other members with it. The Hart Foundation retreats before Austin hits Undertaker with another Stunner to end the show.

My Rating: ***

Cagematch Rating: 4.75

My Rating: 4/10

So unlike the last show I watched, this one gives you a reason to tune in. Austin was hot at the time and Undertaker wasn’t far behind in popularity, so that probably felt like a big match. But I’d say this show is worse because the main event at least delivered. That show had at least one match worth checking out. The main event of this show doesn’t really live up to the hype.

Ironically, the next show goes 10 years into the future. Judgment Day 2007

 

[Chris]

That one looks solid tbh

 

[Jarf]

That one looks solid tbh

Idk that main event looks kinda rough lol

 

[Jarf]

Judgment Day 2007

Match 1: Ric Flair def. Carlito (15:44)

I don’t think I hate this as much as other people. I thought it was okay. The big problem with this match is that Carlito spends a lot of it targeting Flair’s arm, with little to no offense from Flair and it goes too long. But with how long Carlito was in control, you knew Flair was going over. Flair chop blocks Carlito’s knees and puts him in the Figure 4 to get the win, which I think was the wrong move.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 2: ECW Championship 3-on-1 Handicap Match - Bobby Lashley def. Vince McMahon (c), Shane McMahon & Umaga (1:21)

Fuck this feud man. Fuck this so hard. You could say Vince becoming the ECW Champion was a good way to get heat and that’s why they did it. I say they did it to add more salt into the wounds of people who wanted ECW to come back. And this was Vince once again flipping the bird to those people. The shit that they make Tazz and Joey Styles say on commentary too which I’m sure they were holding down their vomit just saying it. The one saving grace of this match is that it’s over quickly. Vince runs out of the way as Lashley immediately goes on the attack, he tosses Shane around, he Spears Umaga and then hits a running powerslam on Shane to win the match. But of course, Vince had to drag this shit on, because Lashley doesn’t win the title. Umaga comes back in and hits a Samoan Spike on Lashley. Vince grabs a mic and says since Lashley didn’t pin or submit the champion, he’s not the champion. Like I said, the one good thing about this match is that it’s over quick, but the booking around it is so fucking annoying!

My Rating: DUD

Match 3: CM Punk def. Elijah Burke (16:55)

WWE took a weird approach to this show, where all the matches that were advertised as main events were the shortest and they gave time to other matches on the show. This was the longest match on the show. And it’s decent. Personally, I never saw anything special in Elijah Burke, and this match doesn’t really convince me otherwise. Punk comes out with heavily taped ribs. He’s mostly mummy from the waist up, so that’s what Burke goes after a lot of this match. A couple times, Punk takes a risk with his ribs and does something to hurt it further, like a superplex. Punk is perched on the top rope and Burke hits the Elijah Express to Punk’s back, going back to those ribs. Punk is able to turn the tides and he hits a GTS on Burke to take the W.

My Rating: ***

Match 4: Randy Orton def. Shawn Michaels via referee’s decision (4:48)

This is more of an angle than it is a match. But damn, what an angle it is. This went a long way in making Orton the most evil man on the roster. Shawn comes out here not with his usual pep in his step. Orton punted him on Raw, and jumped him backstage where he slammed his head into the interview set. The referee tries to convince Shawn to call this match off, but Shawn says “ring the bell.” Orton hits and kicks Shawn’s head. He hits a draping DDT. Shawn has this faraway look in his eyes this entire time. Orton props Shawn on the top rope and looks to be going for an RKO from there, but Shawn has enough in him to throw Orton off him, before he hits the weakest elbow drop, which sounds like a criticism but it’s not. Shawn tunes up the band and when Orton gets up, Shawn collapses on the ground. Shawn pulls himself back up as the referee looks him over, and then he calls for the bell. And this next part is amazing. Orton hits Shawn with an RKO and JR on commentary yells “OH YOU NO GOOD BASTARD!” This was brilliant. The EMTs bring out a stretcher for Shawn and his wife is out there now and she’s crying and yelling for Shawn to wake up. This is great in making Orton look like the biggest piece of shit and it sets up a feud between these two when Shawn gets back because he’s off TV for the next few months.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 5: World Tag Team Championship Match - The Hardy Boyz (c) def. Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch (15:06)

Match of the night goes to this match. I was surprised by the quality of this match. Where was this Cade and Murdoch during their entire run as a team? Now apparently, Cade and Murdoch had turned face after Backlash so this face vs face teams. But it has interesting story where they’re following the rules. It seems like they’re trying too hard to follow them that it makes you wonder when the heel turn is gonna happen mid-match. The Hardyz use their high flying style while Cade and Murdoch stiff the shit out of The Hardyz. There’s a spot where Jeff goes for a Senton over the ropes and Murdoch moves out of the way and Jeff splats right on the floor. They spend the next several minutes isolating Jeff from Matt, but Jeff is able to make the tag to Matt. Murdoch gets taken out, while Cade gets a Twist of Fate and then a Swanton Bomb and The Hardyz retain. The teams shake hands after the match with no heel turn…. But they were heels at Night of Champions so it’s coming.

My Rating: ***1/2

Match 6: World Heavyweight Championship Match - Edge (c) def. Batista (10:39)

Edge had only been champion for 9 days so it would’ve been dumb for him to lose the title here. Batista comes out with his thigh wrapped up. The early part of the match is Batista showing off his power to Edge. But the tides turn after Edge throws Batista into the steel steps legs first. That’s how Edge stays in control, but ever so briefly. Edge attempts a Spear, but Batista hits Edge with a Spear of his own. Then he shakes the ropes and looks to be going for a Batista Bomb, but Edge gets out of it, he attempts a clothesline that Batista ducks under before he hits a Spinebuster, that Edge pretty much no sells, because a moment later, Batista clutches his leg and Edge rolls him up from behind to retain the title.

My Rating: ***

Match 7: United States Championship 2 Out of 3 Falls Match - MVP def. Chris Benoit (c) (14:18)

This match was good, but not the level of quality that one would expect. Benoit’s leg was damaged on SmackDown by Finlay, so that’s what MVP goes after… for most of this match. That’s the one problem with this match is that MVP does a lot of targeting Benoit’s leg with little to no offense from Benoit, so pretty much the Carlito match earlier. Benoit gets a Crossface and a Sharpshooter on him but that’s basically it. The first fall is over when Benoit makes the mistake of picking MVP up on his shoulders in the electric chair, but his legs give out from under him and MVP hits the worst finisher in wrestling history, The Playmaker to win the first fall. Benoit gets a last gasp in the second fall, by dragging MVP to the mat getting him the Crossface. But MVP gets out, he twists Benoit’s leg between his and beats him with a Small Package. MVP wins 2 straight falls.

My Rating: ***

Main Event: WWE Championship Match - John Cena (c) def. The Great Khali (8:15)

Not as bad as I thought it would be, but it’s a Khali match. So it’s still not good. Cena at least tries to sell the hell out of Khali’s offense. He makes all of Khali’s moves, which are basically chop, kick, elbow, big boot, look devastating. And thankfully this match doesn’t go any longer than it does. John Cena dropkicks the ring steps into Khali’s knees, Khali crawls back in the ring and Cena puts him in the STF. And Khali stays in it for a hot minute, but he eventually taps and the champ retains. But here’s a classic case of WWE trying to make Cena look like superman. They apparently retconned Khali and Undertaker’s Last Man Standing match, because they have JR say “John Cena is the first man to defeat The Great Khali.” Which was blatantly untrue. But Cena has to be the superman of the company. But for all one of you who wanted Khali to be a world champion, don’t worry about that…

My Rating: **1/2

Cagematch Rating: 4.75

My Rating: 6/10

Not a super good show. But most matches on the show are mostly okay. Orton vs Michaels was the highlight of the show for me, but in terms of quality, the World Tag Title match was the best. Really the only annoying parts of the show is ECW Champion, Vince McMahon and Khali being in the main event which is a bad idea no matter how well the undercard goes. So while this show isn’t good, I wouldn’t say it’s bad either. It’s pretty middle ground.

The next show is another In Your House. The first ever In Your House actually. In the worst year of the company.

 

[Jarf]

In Your House: The Premiere

Match 1: Bret Hart def. Hakushi (14:39)

Night starts with a pretty good opener. Which shouldn’t be too surprising considering who’s in it. Not as good as I thought it would be, but a very good match. Hakushi controls the pace for a good portion of the match, but he messes up after he attempts a springboard diving headbutt that Bret moves out of the way of. Hakushi gets tied up in the ropes and Bret runs the ropes, but Hakushi’s manager, Shinjo trips him. So Bret does exactly what I would’ve done and dives to the outside onto Shinjo and clobbers him. However, Hakushi comes over and springboard moonsaults onto Bret on the outside. Hakushi rolls Bret back and goes for a Dragon Suplex, but Bret reverses it into a Victory Roll to take the win. But that’s not the last time we see Bret tonight. He’s got a match against Jerry Lawler later. And it looks like Bret hurts his knee getting out of the ring.

My Rating: ***3/4

Match 2: 2-on-1 Handicap Match - Razor Ramon def. Jeff Jarrett & The Roadie (12:40)

This match isn’t bad but even though it is shorter than the opener, it feels longer. This goes exactly how you would expect. Jarrett and Roadie control Ramon for a lot of this match. There’s lots of rest holds and taunting here. It only gets getting good until the end. Every time Ramon starts getting some momentum, he’s put back down by Jarrett and Roadie. But the match ends after Razor irish whips Jarrett into Roadie standing on the apron, then he barely picks Jarrett up and hits a Razor’s Edge to take the win. The Roadie and Jarrett attack Ramon after the match. Aldo Montoya, aka Justin Credible with yellow underwear over his head, comes down to make the save and he gets jabronied. Then Savio Vega comes out to make the save, and this must be his first appearance in the company, because while the crowd is cheering, Vince in the most monotone voice he could say “I’m not sure who this man is.”

My Rating: **3/4

Match 3: King of the Ring Qualifying Match - Mabel def. Adam Bomb (1:53)

Every time King of the Ring ‘95 gets referenced, I feel like I’m close to having an aneurysm. And to make it worse, the winner of that fucking tournament is in this match. And all I can say is, thank fuck this match doesn’t go long because the 2 minutes they were wrestling was terrible. Mabel flops onto his back sideways and Adam drops to the ground. It was supposed to be a spinning heel kick, I think at least because they didn’t even come close. Commentary is so impressed with the mobility of Mabel. If he thought that was impressive, he’d be really impressed with Keith Lee who is a much, much better wrestler… Oh wait. Mabel wins with a World’s Strongest Slam to qualify for the King of the Ring… that he would… very sadly… win… FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU…

My Rating: 1/2*

Match 4: WWF Tag Team Championship Match - Owen Hart & Yokozuna (c) def. The Smoking Gunns (5:44)

The Gunns rematch for the Tag Team Titles. Nothing special here. The only thing I remember from this match is Yokozuna running into the ring post. And later dropping a leg drop onto Bart Gunn that I thought was gonna kill the poor man. The match is pretty much over after that as Yoko rolls Bart back in and Owen covers him to retain.

My Rating: *1/2

Match 5: Jerry Lawler def. Bret Hart (5:09)

So surprise surprise. Bret Hart’s knee was fine this whole time, he was luring Lawler into a false sense of security. The only bad thing about this match is the finish where they make Bret look like a complete dumbass. Bret spends the whole match laying into Lawler. Lawler gets two moves on Bret this whole match. The problem here is when Shinjo comes out, he distracts the referee. Bret irish whips Lawler into the ropes and the ref gets his ankle caught between them. He’s hanging upside down from the ropes. But Bret goes for a cover on Lawler even though he definitely saw the referee hanging upside down! So Hakushi runs in and hits 3 headbutts and Lawler pins him. And that leads to… OH GOD NOT KING OF THE RING!!! NOOOOOO!!!

My Rating: *1/2

Main Event: WWF Championship Match - Diesel (c) def. Sid via DQ (11:29)

So after all this shit, we get a bad main event with a copout DQ finish. Most of this match is controlled by Sid, because he’s the heel and that’s how wrestling works I guess. He works over Diesel’s back for a lot of this match. He puts him in a Camel Clutch for what feels like 5 minutes! Sid hits Diesel with one of the weakest Chokeslams ever, then he picks him up and drops him with a Powerbomb. Then he taunts to the crowd for a solid 30 seconds before he covers Diesel. And then he’s surprised when he kicks the fuck out! Diesel fights back and he hits one Jackknife and covers him before Tatanka runs in and puts the boots to Diesel. Hey guess what. A main event with a DQ finish? Great. That means this feud is going to continue to drag on. Bam Bam Bigelow runs out and makes the save and this sets up their match at…. AHHHHHHHHHH, NOOOOOOO!

My Rating: 1/2*

There is one moment during this whole watch that makes it all worth it. To end the show, we get a commercial of WWF shamelessly plugging themselves with aliens threatening to blow us up but choosing not to because of the WWF “showing promise.” This confused me so much that I couldn’t help but laugh my damn ass off at it. But on a serious note, if the aliens were judging us based on the WWF at this time, earth would’ve been destroyed

Cagematch Rating: 4.78

My Rating: 4/10

As bad a champion as Diesel was, he was still better than Jinder Mahal. Next show is Money in the Bank 2017.

 

[Jarf]

Money in the Bank 2017

Match 1: Money in the Bank Ladder Match - Carmella def. Becky Lynch, Charlotte Flair, Tamina & Natalya (13:20)

Of course, that’s what the history books will say. But in my mind, this match was won by James Ellsworth. This was the first ever women’s Money in the Bank match. Pretty historic right? LOL! This match isn’t so bad, but it’s probably the least chaotic Money in the Bank Match ever. Not very many spots that stand out. It’s your standard ladder match where they hit each other with the ladder. They go up the ladder and they stop each other from getting the briefcase. Charlotte dives onto Nattie and Tamina on the outside and they’re all down the rest of the match. Carmella goes up for the briefcase, but Becky runs in and she powerbombs Carmella off the ladder. Becky goes up and looks like she has this, but James Ellsworth gets in and tips the ladder over. He tries to get Carmella up, but he goes up and grabs the briefcase himself and drops it into Carmella’s arms… Now in a nothing matters sort of way, this is hilarious. But… the first women’s Money in the Bank? Are you sure? Never forget that the first women’s Money in the Bank was won by a man.

My Rating: ***

Match 2: SmackDown Tag Team Championship Match - The New Day (Kofi & Big E.) def. The Usos (c) via countout (12:00)

Ah yeah. The start of my favorite feud of 2017. This is the worst match of that feud but it’s still really good. Very early in the match it looks like Kofi breaks his neck. Jimmy Uso drops the rope as he’s running them and from the angle the camera’s pointing we just see Kofi fly over upside down. Thankfully that’s not what happened. The Usos isolate Kofi for a bit, before he makes the hot tag to Big E. who bumps The Usos around. He tags Kofi back in before he hits the running Spear off the apron to Jey (or Jimmy?). The Usos get back into the match, they kick Kofi’s leg out from under him. Jimmy puts Kofi in the Tequila Sunrise. Jey dives through the ropes onto Big E. who catches him and throws him overhead. Kofi makes a tag to Big E. that Jimmy doesn’t see. Jimmy knocks Big E. off the apron, superkicks Kofi. Then he goes for a Splash, but Big E. catches, ends up dropping him, but picks him back up and hits a Big Ending. Even though the spot gets messed up, still cool. Big E. knocks both Usos over the ropes and Kofi trust dives onto them off the top rope. They bring Jey back in the ring and they hit a Midnight Hour. Kofi makes the cover, but Jimmy pulls Jey out and they walk away with their titles. Laaaame ending.

My Rating: ***1/2

Match 3: SmackDown Women’s Championship Match - Naomi (c) def. Lana (7:30)

Now, I won’t be harsh on Lana. She’s inexperienced. If anything, I’d put this on the company more than her. This is only her second match on TV, and her first match in over a year. But this match sucks. And because Lana is so inexperienced, you would expect her to get little offense. But she is in control for a lot of this match, making Naomi look bad. Carmella comes out with her briefcase and teases a cash-in, and that distracts Lana for Naomi to get her in a submission to make her tap out. The fact that Naomi, who had been on the main roster for 5 years had to beat the inexperienced Lana to a distraction makes her look like a fake champion. Totally shit.

My Rating: 1/2*

Match 4: WWE Championship Match - Jinder Mahal (c) def. Randy Orton (20:50)

I’m gonna be as fair as I can and not let how I feel about Jinder Mahal as WWE Champion affect my rating. I would be lying if I said I thought this match was bad. That being said, it’s not good. Orton floors Jinder early, but Jinder turns it around after he drops Orton over the ropes and Orton hurts his knee on the landing. Jinder spends a lot of the match targeting Orton’s knee, including putting him in the Figure 4. Orton makes a comeback. He hits a draping DDT, and then an RKO. He covers Jinder and the Singh Brothers have to reach in and put his foot on the ropes. The referee sends them backstage, but they see Bob Orton sitting at ringside. So they go over and grab him by the collar and that makes Randy fucking snap. He murders the Singhs at ringside. He hits one (I couldn’t tell you which one) with an RKO on the floor before he hits the other with an RKO through the table. He gets back in the ring, Jinder kicks his knee and then a Khallas to retain…

My Rating: **3/4

Match 5: Breezango def. The Ascension (3:50)

Filler match. Really not a whole lot to talk about. The Ascension double team Tyler for a bit. But Tyler tags in Fandango. The Ascension go for a double team move, but Tyler knocks Konnor off the turnbuckle, and Fandango rolls Viktor in a small package.

My Rating: *1/2

Main Event: Money in the Bank Ladder Match - Baron Corbin def. AJ Styles, Shinsuke Nakamura, Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn & Dolph Ziggler (29:45)

Corbin jumps Nakamura during his entrance, he hits him with a ladder and a camera and that’s enough to take him out for most of this match… Are you fucking serious? I’m pretty sure Kota Ibushi has hit him harder than Corbin did with any of those weapons. But what the fuck ever. The bell rings and we just have our match with 5 people in it. The few several minutes are nothing to get excited about, but in the latter half of the match, they are many many memorable spots. Kevin Owens really takes a lot of abuse in this. Sami Zayn hits an overhead back suplex on KO on the apron. Sami hits a sunset flip powerbomb on Ziggler from the top of a ladder that honestly looks like it hurt Sami more than it did Dolph. Corbin sets a ladder up between the ring and an announce table. AJ Styles goes for something off the apron and he gets caught by Corbin, who chokeslams him onto the set up ladder. Corbin gets hit with a Helluva Kick from Zayn, before he goes up the ladder, but he’s yanked back down by Owens who kicks him in the dick. Styles comes back in and they fight back to the apron. Styles hits an AA on Owens on the ladder still perched. AJ goes up the ladder, but Ziggler takes the ladder out from under him and AJ is hanging on for dear life onto the chain holding the briefcase. But he ends up on dropping to the mat below! Corbin drags Ziggler out and tosses him over the announce table before he goes back in and climbs up the ladder. But Nakamura comes back out and he lights Corbin up and hits him with a Kinshasa. Ziggler comes in and he gets Kinshasaed. Sami Zayn comes in and Nakamura knees him in the face. He goes outside to grab a ladder, and Owens uses the last of his strength to stop Shinsuke. So Nakamura knees him in the face too. Nakamura sets up the ladder, and he comes face to face with AJ Styles and the crowd goes wild… Man, this makes me sad in hindsight. They have a short mini match that’s really cool. Then they go up the ladder and fight for the briefcase, but Corbin comes back in and tips it over, then goes up and takes the briefcase. This was a great match.

My Rating: ****1/4

Cagematch Rating: 4.80

My Rating: 5/10

It has some solid matches on it and one great main event, but the thing about this show, is that its plagued with absolutely annoying booking. There is irritating booking in almost every match. The first women’s MITB was won by a man. A really good Tag Title Match ended in a countout. Naomi looks like such a weak champion because she gets schooled by someone who had only wrestled once on TV before. Jinder Mahal is WWE Champion still… That’s it. They take Nakamura out of most of the main event. The only match that doesn’t have any annoying booking is the cool down match… that is bad.

We have our first PPV from 2012 next. No Way Out.