WrestleMania XXV
Match 1: Money in the Bank Ladder Match - CM Punk def. Kane, Christian, MVP, Shelton Benjamin, Kofi Kingston, Mark Henry & Finlay (14:24)
You can’t get the show off to a hotter start than with a Ladder Match. And I feel like this one doesn’t get brought up very often because it takes place on such a sub-par WrestleMania. Very fun way to open the show. Because it’s one of the shorter Money in the Banks, there aren’t a whole lot of spots but what they do is good stuff. Each man gets a turn to dive on the others on the outside, but biggest dive goes to Shelton, who sentons onto the crowd of opponents on the floor from the top of a tall ladder! As Mark Henry is holding a ladder standing up, Kofi tries to scale it and go for the briefcase, but Henry drops the ladder and catches Kofi before hitting him with a World’s Strongest Slam onto it! A ladder gets bridged between the top rope and the rungs of a ladder on the inside, and Christian hits the Unprettier on Punk from the bridged ladder. Shelton picks MVP up on his shoulders in a powerbomb position and throws him outside onto a small crowd of opponents. Finlay tries to stop Shelton, but he’s unsuccessful and falls back on the bridged ladder, but Christian goes up the ladder, the ladder gets tipped over and Shelton crashes to the mat while Christian stops his fall by placing a foot on the top rope and bounces back on the ladder into the middle of the ring. Punk comes back in to stop Christian from winning, but then in comes Kane, who grabs Christian by the throat and Chokeslams him from the ladder. Then he grabs Punk by the throat, but Punk kicks him in the head a few times to send Kane to the mat, allowing Punk to become the first (and to this day, only) 2x Money in the Bank winner.
My Rating: ****
Match 2: Miss WrestleMania Battle Royal - Santina Marella won by last eliminating Melina & Beth Phoenix (5:53)
So after a fucking 4 hour Kid Rock concert that I sure as hell wasn’t going to sit through, we get this piece of shit. And I’ll be honest, I was not keeping track of who was being eliminated. All I saw were bodies being flung out of the ring at a rapid pace. It’s also weird as fuck that nobody on commentary mentioned the muscular female standing in the ring that nobody had seen before. This “woman” doesn’t do anything until the very end, when Melina is hanging onto Beth’s back and Santina throws them both over. They really built up this match just to get to a “man dressed like a woman” bit… Are you laughing? Why aren’t you laughing? Maybe you didn’t understand it… Ya see…
My Rating: DUD
Match 3: 3-on-1 Handicap Elimination Match - Chris Jericho def. Ricky Steamboat, Roddy Piper & Jimmy Snuka (8:57)
As if that wasn’t bad enough, now we have Chris Jericho vs the old men. And ironically, this Chris Jericho would hate Chris Jericho today. But anyway, the geriatrics have Ric Flair in their corner too. Piper and Snuka are very stiff and very slow, it’s pretty sad actually. Well, for Piper at least, fuck Snuka. But Ricky Steamboat can still go. Not as well as he used to but still much better than his partners. Jericho eliminates Snuka with a Walls of Jericho and Piper with an Enziguri. Steamboat shows off a bit and like I said, not as good as he used to be, but that’s expected. For someone who hadn’t been in the ring for 15 years, and someone of his age, his mobility is impressive here. He almost has Jericho beat a couple times, but Jericho puts Steamboat down with a Codebreaker. Flair comes in and tries to beat up Jericho, but he also gets his. Then Jericho calls out Mickey Rourke who was in the crowd. Rourke gets in the ring and knocks Jericho on his ass.
My Rating: **1/4
Match 4: Extreme Rules Match - Matt Hardy def. Jeff Hardy (13:15)
I really think this match isn’t looked back on fondly because people had high expectations for it. Which was fair, but even though it’s not a classic or anything, it’s still a good match in my opinion. Jeff is in control for a lot of this match, as he uses whatever he can get his hands on to beat up Matt. Matt pulled a shop vac from under the ring at some point and hit Jeff in the head with it. Why was that under the ring? Matt hits the Twist of Fate after Jeff misses a Swanton, but Jeff kicks out. Towards the end of the match, Jeff places Matt on a table on the outside and then another table over him, standing on that table, Jeff then climbs up the turnbuckle and dives through the tables and Matt. Jeff sets up 2 ladders in the ring, a really tall one and a slightly shorter one behind it. With Matt below, Jeff leaps over the taller ladder, but Matt moves out of the way and Jeff crashes ass first into the mat… Ow. Matt traps Jeff’s head between a chair and hits the Twist of Fate again to pin Jeff.
My Rating: ***1/2
Match 5: Intercontinental Championship Match - Rey Mysterio def. JBL (c) (0:21)
Before this match starts, JBL comes out and promises to give us the most dominant WrestleMania victory in history. JBL boots Rey in the head and beats him down in the corner before the bell can even ring. Once, the bell does ring, Rey ducks a clothesline, hits JBL with an enziguri, a dropkick into the middle rope. He hits the 619 and a Frog Splash to beat JBL in record time and win his first Intercontinental Title. JBL grabs a mic after the match and says that he quits… and he actually does it.
Match 6: The Undertaker def. Shawn Michaels (30:42)
I think this is the point everybody should’ve realized Dave Meltzer is biased and stopped taking him seriously. 3 things are certain in life. Death, taxes and this is a 5 STAR MATCH! What can I say other than this is one of the greatest matches of all time! The beginning stages of this match is these two building up to the later spots. HBK puts Undertaker in a Figure 4, and Undertaker puts Shawn in Hell’s Gate. But when Shawn attempts a moonsault to the outside, the match goes into that next all timer gear. The referee goes out to check on Shawn and Undertaker goes to dive on him. Shawn shoves the ref away and pulls the camera man in Taker’s way… and does not catch Undertaker. Now from what I understand… the streak was legitimately a second away from ending here. Shawn pulls the referee back in the ring and tells him to start counting Undertaker out. And Undertaker apparently told the ref, if for whatever reason he can’t make it back in the ring, to count him out. Undertaker gets back in the ring at the count of 9. And here… And after he does, it’s like a switch gets flipped. I haven’t heard a commentary team get so into a match before or after. Shawn goes for a superkick, but Undertaker sidesteps and hits Shawn with a Chokeslam, but Shawn kicks out. Shawn avoids another Chokeslam attempt and hits the first Superkick of the match, but Undertaker kicks out! Shawn avoids the Last Ride at first, but Undertaker gets it a moment later and Shawn kicks out again! Undertaker goes to the top rope and tries for an elbow drop. When both men recover, Shawn runs at Taker, but Taker sidesteps and Shawn goes over the ropes, but hangs on and tries skinning the cat, but Undertaker catches him into a Tombstone and by this point, this match was already 5 stars for me. They didn’t have to keep going… but Shawn kicks out and Undertaker’s face has become legendary at this point! They didn’t have to keep going, but they do! Undertaker attempts another Tombstone, but Shawn reverses it into a DDT and tunes up the band. Undertaker pulls himself up with the ropes and eats that Sweet Chin Music! And kicks out again! And for the second time in the match, Shawn gets caught in a Tombstone after going for a moonsault and Taker drops him again to go 17-0 at WrestleMania! Death, Taxes, and this is a 5 Star Match!
My Rating: *****
Match 7: World Heavyweight Championship Triple Threat Match - John Cena def. Edge (c) & Big Show (14:43)
I feel bad for these guys, having to go out and follow that match, but this is still a solid match, that does get a little boring at points, but there’s still some pretty neat things that stood out to me in this match. Pretty early on in the match, Vickie Guerrero gets on the apron and Edge ends up accidentally Spearing her, so she’s a non-factor the rest of the match. Edge takes a run off the steel steps and drives Big Show through the barricade, taking him out for a little bit. Edge gets back in the ring and tries to Spear Cena, but Cena counters it into an STF. Edge is in this hold for a bit and tries to reach the ropes. Big Show comes back to save the match, grabbing Edge’s hand and with his other grabbing Cena by the throat and pulling him outside. Cena and Edge work together to double suplex Big Show and clothesline him outside. Towards the end of the match, Cena gets on the top rope to try a legdrop, but Big Show climbs the steps and pushes Cena off into a Spear from Edge. And the end of this match is nuts. Cena shows how strong he really is with this ending. Edge is on Big Show’s back, trying to put him in a sleeper, and Cena comes over and lifts both men on his shoulders! Edge slides off, but Cena had both Edge and Big Show on his damn shoulders. He drops Big Show before dropping Edge on Big Show as well and Cena covers Show to win the match.
My Rating: ***
Main Event: WWE Championship Match - Triple H (c) def. Randy Orton (23:35)
Time for the main event… and man, do I have some stuff to say about this. How did WWE fumble this so hard? I will cut a tiny bit of slack since they had to follow one of the greatest matches of all time. But this match had such a good build up. One of the best build ups to a WrestleMania match ever I would say. Orton punting HHH’s in-laws, RKOing and DDTing Stephanie and kissing her out cold body right in front of HHH. Orton was a fucking menace. HHH went to Orton’s house to beat the shit out of him. Like this build up, had pretty much every personal stake you could think of. So this match NEEDED to have a No DQ stipulation! It needed to! You can’t just have a personal feud like this and have these guys go out and have a “gorsh, let’s have a nice good old fashioned wrestling match, let the best man win, hehe.” NO! You can’t just do that! It doesn’t reflect the hatred they have for each other. So that was their first mistake, second mistake is adding the stipulation that if HHH gets counted out or DQ’d he loses the title…. What. Are. You. People. DOING?!?! You may have noticed, I’ve spent most of this part talking about the way they booked the match, it’s because there is really fuck all to say about this match. They went for 23 and a half minutes and did almost nothing that whole time. And every time HHH would stomp Orton out in the corner, the ref would be like “Ahugh, I’ll disqualify you.” Fuck outta here ref! They each hit their finishers within a minute of the match too, so that was something but until the end, nothing. The referee gets bumped so he’s down. Orton goes out to grab a sledgehammer, but gets punted in the head. HHH then grabs the sledgehammer himself and hits Orton in the face with it. Then with the referee up, he hits a Pedigree to retain his title. I say Orton should’ve won this match, but after a boring, long ass match, I didn’t care. I think this match is worse than HHH’s match with Roman Reigns at WrestleMania 32. Because at least in that match, they got A pop when Roman Speared Stephanie.
My Rating: *1/2
Cagematch Rating: 5.96
My Rating: 7/10
First the positives. Undertaker and Shawn Michaels had one of the greatest matches of all time, but it’s not a one match show like everyone says it is. That opening Ladder Match was really fun, and Matt vs Jeff, while underdelivering was also good. Now the negatives… Oh, boy, and these are some pretty hard negatives. The Battle Royal won by a man just because a certain old man probably thought it’d be hilarious. Jericho vs the old men. That main event that just dragged the show down so hard. If that main event hadn’t been such a stinker, this show would’ve gotten a higher rating, but it completely drains the show.
Undertaker used an interesting line in the video package leading up to his match with Shawn “sometimes, it is hell trying to get to heaven.” Appropriate considering this next show he’s in a Hell in a Cell Match. At Armageddon 2005.