Reach for the (Minus) Stars: Sky's Collection of Bad Matches

[Sky]

Entry #1089
Mickie James (c) vs. Angelina Love
for the TNA Knockouts Championship
TNA Slammiversary IX - June 12, 2011​

As a fan of women's wrestling, it's sad to see how Dave called a string of women's title matches on PPV as DUDs. This is one of them. I doubt it's unfair, though, because the hivemind is kinder to women's wrestling and they still rate it a 2.67/10. Mickie duking it out with zombie Angelina, who's under the spell of Winter. Let's see it, then.

Aw, Christy. She hasn't quite gotten the hang of ring announcing yet. Angelina starts with hair-tossing, and so both women go for a hair-pull. Remembering she has to wrestle a little Angelina works the arm. Mickie does her headscissors but a distraction by Winter lets Angelina do a suplex. Mickie blows a kiss to Winter so Winter drags her out and drops her on her back on the floor. This is amazingly sluggish, which I know is meant to be part of Angelina's character but she clearly wasn't meant to work like that. She tosses Mickie TO THE OUTSIDE again and they blow an Irish whip reverse spot that sends Angelina into the steps.

We're back in the ring but the Standard Diva Jumping Clothesline means Mickie gets a bit of momentum back. Flapjack, Thesz press, then Winter interferes. Back kick by Mickie but Winter puts Angelina's foot on the rope. Angelina still grabs the rope regardless. Botox Injection, Mickie grabs the rope, and the ref sees Winter trying to remove Mickie's hand (from the rope). Earl Hebner is REALLY mad at Angelina for doing ground and pound. Mickie teases the DDT but Winter distracts her again. Northern Lights suplex, then there's a weird botchy roll-up out of the corner where Winter helps to hold Angelina down. Time for the jumping DDT, and it's completely botched, no co-ordination at all. Still gets the win. Winter post-match beatdown. What do you know, that's the next match for this thread!

These two had no chemistry together, and it showed.

 

[Sky]

Entry #1090
Mickie James (c) vs. Winter
for the TNA Knockouts Championship
TNA HardCORE Justice - August 7, 2011​

Here we go. A show where everyone groaned that they were keeping the name even though it wasn't an ECW reunion anymore and it wouldn't contain any hardcore matches. A show where the quality of the matches both topped and bottomed out at "meh". Well, except for two matches I'm looking at here. Including this one, which managed to rack up MINUS 1 star from Dave! Mickie faces the evil occult seductress in a match that doesn't seem to have been received well.

Start out with an Angelina distraction and a Winter roll-up. Mickie pulls out a dragonscrew leg whip and starts to work Winter's leg early. Her mistake is using the hair which causes Angelina to scream "HAIR PULL HAIR PULL" as if that isn't half her own offence. Mickie can't do her headscissors but slides in for a sunset flip. An Angelina distraction gives Winter control for a second until Mickie kicks her leg right out of her leg. TO THE OUTSIDE goes Winter, Mickie chases her, gets 2v1'd, ring posted, and sent into the crowd. Winter wants a count, despite being unable to win the title that way because that's not how wrestling works!

Back in the ring Winter chickenwings Mickie. She escapes with elbows and a jackknife pin attempt. Nailz-esque ground choke by Winter. Backbreaker hold, and Earl Hebner isn't interested in the hand on Mickie's throat, instead focusing on Mickie using the hair to escape. BOOT CHOKING! Mickie comes back with the headscissors and the Diva Clotheslines. Up top for the Thesz Press and it might be over, but Angelina shows up when the ref's distracted and hits Break-a-Bitch (back cracker from a reverse facelock). Mickie kicks out! Finisher has been buried as soon as it's been named! An uneven three-count by Hebner prevents a Mickie win. Mickie hits a tornado DDT that rolls Winter out of the ring. In comes Angelina but this time Mickie hits a neckbreaker. Ref distraction allows Winter to use mist and score a pin.

An absolute interference-fest, but surely not worth minus a star. Surely.

 

[Sky]

Entry #1091
Rob Van Dam vs. Crimson
Bound for Glory Series Match
TNA HardCORE Justice - August 7, 2011​

But that's not all we have to do at HardCORE Justice '11, so we take a quick look into the strange world where men wrestle too, and they have a round robin tournament where not everyone gets the same number of matches. It's RVD vs. Crimson, a clash of the top two on points, in a match that Dave called a DUD.

They're trying to sell Crimson as the giant but he's not much taller than RVD. The clash of styles is evident with RVD doing fancy stuff with his educated feet and Crimson unable to go beyond the basics. RVD does the spin kick, springboard back kick, and Rolling Thunder. Jerry Lynn approves. Crimson does knees and a neckbreaker for two. He pops Taz by doing a T-Bone suplex. TO THE OUTSIDE where RVD jumps off the apron to kick Crimson, Teases a pescado but Crimson drags him down and does nothing more than a clothesline. Not even a furniture bash? Give over. Crimson does an Irish whip so hard that he knocks both RVD and himself down. Not as impressive when that happens.

ON GOES THE... cravate. But really, when you're using it just as a fancy chinlock, does it make a lot of difference? RVD recovers and eventually gets off his split-legged moonsault for two. Five Star teased but Crimson gets up, and dodges the following kick. Falcon Arrow for two. Looks like he's about to go for Red Sky but RVD fights off with another kick. Enzuigiri (slightly sloppy) lets RVD go for the Five Star right to the face but he can't capitalise. Crimson seems dazed but he hits a spear for two. Red Sky comes out, but Jerry Lynn breaks up the pin! That's a DQ win for Crimson, a big point loss for RVD, and this will soon be revealed as a short-lived heel turn for Lynn that sees him join Immortal. This company is silly.

Very middling match with a flat finish. Not a DUD but not good at all.

 

[Sky]

Entry #1092
Winter (c) vs. Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky
for the TNA Knockouts Championship
TNA Bound for Glory - October 16, 2011​

Last for today, we've got the culmination of the Winter storyline... and because we love overbooking, Karen Jarrett is head of the Knockouts and special guest ref for this match. This is a DUD according to Dave, but how much of that is just because women? Find out... now!

Taz's thoughts on Velvet Sky: "she gets the crowd aroused". Angelina is out because we've got to book some more interference. Commentary and Mickie already are calling Karen out on not being in position to make counts. Winter starts off by working the arm in various basic ways. One of those includes hair-pulling. Mickie manages to get off her headscissors and a neckbreaker. In comes Madison to slap Mickie with... something. Karen congratulates her favourite, and isn't happy with the way Mickie grounds her and pounds her. Mickie's thrown out but in comes Velvet with facebreakers and a bulldog. Karen just doesn't bother counting the pin because HEEL. Karen is out of position for Madison's pin though, and Winter makes the save.

Karen directs traffic to force Mickie and Velvet to fight each other... then completely ignores the covers that the two are making. "Boring" chants as these two scrap with no result because the ref isn't interested. Madison is indignant that Mickie hits a low dropkick so she slaps her off. Tilt-a-whirl headscissors by Velvet who wipes Winter off the apron. Both bounce off the ropes but the heels drag them TO THE OUTSIDE! Now it's just multiple beatdowns which the faces quickly turn around. Winter tosses Velvet out witth a nasty thud and goes to scrap with Mickie. Karen is clearly making up fake rules to get in Mickie's face.

Angelina gives Winter something which (combined with Karen's obsesion with closed fists) allows her to make mist... but Mickie dodges and she hits Karen! REF BUMP, OF COURSE! Mickie's DDT, but no ref! Out comes Traci Brooks, who's apparently under specific instructions not to come out except as a replacement. Velvet hits IN YO' FACE on Madison and that's it, new champ!

Big career-defining moment for Velvet, crowd doesn't care that much for the match, neither do I. Real bit of an overbook there.