I haven't been exactly quiet about my lack of interest in everything WrestleMania related, but despite that I did watch the show (well, the matches, not watching a fucking concert) and the reason being is that I'm doing a ranking of every PPV match and every PPV. Without further ado, my review of WrestleMania . . .
[size=x-large]WrestleMania XXIX Review[/size]
The Shield's match
This was a pretty good opener, unfortunately it wasn't given enough time to developed into something really enjoyable. Didn't get why Sheamus & Show felt the need to strip their opponents but it did have a few good spots (almost everything Rollins did & the triple spear) but overall, falls into mediocrity due to time constraints and so can't compare to their other PPV bouts. The worst thing is this was probably the highlight of the night.
Real quickly, Big Show turning heel is a stupid decision. WWE, a heel turn has no impact if he's only been face for two weeks. Also, I think Big Show was justified in his actions, at least against Orton who was acting like a dick to him the whole match, not just at the end.
Match Rating: 5/10
Henry vs. Ryback
It was boring. Very boring but the finish was nice (so plus one for that) & objectively I don't think the two could've had a better match than that. The post-match was cool though.
Match Rating: 4/10.
Oh Hell No!
Nice callback to the 18 seconds spot of last year but the compliments end there. This was a Raw quality match, it could've been on Raw. Absolutely nothing about this match screamed WrestleMania. Now, it was a good Raw match, but rating matches for PPVs, especially Mania, you have to use a different scale so keep that in mind when you see the rating. Also, why did they feel like having Kane do the majority of the work? I swear, Bryan only wrestled for two minutes at most.
Match Rating: 4/10
Fandingoeatmybabio's Debut
*Sigh* this was crap. The triangle dropkick reversal was cool and I actually liked the finish but that was it. I was bored throughout and Fandango's selling was terrible. Listen to me Fandango, just because Jericho does that ear taunt, it doesn't make it Hogan. Tone it down, Shawn. Okay? You do that, and I might get behind you.
Match Rating: 3/10
The World Heavyweight Championship
Pre-match promo was bad, just getting that out of the way. The match itself was average. They had some nice submission counters, but any bonus points I was going to give them was ruined by the terrible, abrupt finish.
Also, WWE not having Dolph cash-in . . . why am I not surprised? Why am I not disappointed? I was positive all through the build, but I guess that WWE has disappointed some much in the past that come show time any hope I had dissipates.
Match Rating: 5/10
The Streak
All things considered, a rather average match. I did like how Punk's tights were grey, black, and purple like Undertaker of yesteryear, it's a small thing but still a nice touch. Now, onto the match. I bursted out laughing when Undertaker sat up during the Anaconda Vise and then just kind of walked off the GTS immediately and hit the Tombstone. Like really, what a way to shit on both of someone's finishers. To me, those moments didn't come across as Taker's supernatural powers kicking in (didn't help that this angle focused on Taker's humanity more than any other in the past five or so years) but it felt like Punk's biggest moves were crap. Also, the GTS to Tombstone counter at the end was kind of sloppy, these two things really bring it down from a high average (6) to a more low average (5).
Match Rating: 5/10
Triple H's Rematch
This match was a trainwreck on pretty much every level except crispness (I didn't notice any botches, so they gets point(s) for that). It was boring as all hell. Everything spot was repeated ad nauseum. Brock Lesnar's Kimura Lock spot on Triple H, repeated thrice in a row. Triple H's Kimura Lock on Brock, repeated thrice in a row. Shawn's inept attempts at helping Trips against Lesnar, thwarted twice, quite pathetically. Almost every single move done by Lesnar was repeated to death, and he only did like four moves (german suplex, belly to belly suplex, F5 & Kimura Lock).
What's possibly worse than that, is that they didn't actually tell a story. Keyword is "a," they told different stories at different points in the match but they didn't really mesh into each-other and it didn't lead to a satisfactory conclusion. I didn't feel like a lot of this match was necessary, this match might've just been filled with so much padding that they only way to decipher the psychology behind the match is to strip it to half way down. Terrible, terrible match.
Match Rating: 1/10 (Note: Admittedly I'm being a bit harsh, I thought about giving it a 1.5 for the lack of botches, but I'm against giving half ratings when I'm rating things out of ten [five star ratings>ten star ratings], so I decided not giving it a 0 was being generous enough)
Cena's Rematch
This was also really, really bad. It was also really boring. Now, unlike every other match on this card essentially, they did attempt to have a build, a progression here. I think they failed but kudos to them for actually trying. The reason I think it failed is because after the initial few minutes it just became about rest holds for like five or seven solid minutes. When you do that, and don't intersperse enough in between, it just feels like pointless padding. Much like the Lesnar/Trips match, they did spots ad nauseum and I'm not just talking about the finishers. They did the blow-for-blow spot three freakin' times in the match, like they really couldn't come up with anything else. As for the mass finisher-fest, yeah to me this felt more like a self-parody than a legitimate wrestling bout, which isn't a good thing.
Unlike the last atrocious bout, lack of botches isn't the only thing I can praise about this match. It was pretty energized once it got going, which was nice and I really liked the callback to their previous match. This doesn't higher the score much but it does higher the score.
Match Rating: 3/10
PPV Rating: 3.8/10
Rankings
PPV's
I. Elimination Chamber ~ 6/10
II. Royal Rumble ~ 4.9/10
III. WrestleMania XXIX ~ 3.8/10
Matches
I. The Shield vs. The Justice League (Cena, Sheamus, Ryback): Elimination Chamber ~ 9/10
II. WWE Title, The Rock © vs. CM Punk: Elimination Chamber ~ 8/10
III. Elimination Chamber (Jericho vs. Bryan vs. Swagger vs. Kane vs. Orton vs. Henry): Elimination Chamber ~ 8/10
IV. WHC, Del Rio © vs. Big Show, Last Man Standing: Royal Rumble ~ 7/10
V.US Title, Cesaro © vs. The Miz: Elimination Chamber ~ 7/10
The Shield's match
This was a pretty good opener, unfortunately it wasn't given enough time to developed into something really enjoyable. Didn't get why Sheamus & Show felt the need to strip their opponents but it did have a few good spots (almost everything Rollins did & the triple spear) but overall, falls into mediocrity due to time constraints and so can't compare to their other PPV bouts. The worst thing is this was probably the highlight of the night.
Real quickly, Big Show turning heel is a stupid decision. WWE, a heel turn has no impact if he's only been face for two weeks. Also, I think Big Show was justified in his actions, at least against Orton who was acting like a dick to him the whole match, not just at the end.
Match Rating: 5/10
Henry vs. Ryback
It was boring. Very boring but the finish was nice (so plus one for that) & objectively I don't think the two could've had a better match than that. The post-match was cool though.
Match Rating: 4/10.
Oh Hell No!
Nice callback to the 18 seconds spot of last year but the compliments end there. This was a Raw quality match, it could've been on Raw. Absolutely nothing about this match screamed WrestleMania. Now, it was a good Raw match, but rating matches for PPVs, especially Mania, you have to use a different scale so keep that in mind when you see the rating. Also, why did they feel like having Kane do the majority of the work? I swear, Bryan only wrestled for two minutes at most.
Match Rating: 4/10
Fandingoeatmybabio's Debut
*Sigh* this was crap. The triangle dropkick reversal was cool and I actually liked the finish but that was it. I was bored throughout and Fandango's selling was terrible. Listen to me Fandango, just because Jericho does that ear taunt, it doesn't make it Hogan. Tone it down, Shawn. Okay? You do that, and I might get behind you.
Match Rating: 3/10
The World Heavyweight Championship
Pre-match promo was bad, just getting that out of the way. The match itself was average. They had some nice submission counters, but any bonus points I was going to give them was ruined by the terrible, abrupt finish.
Also, WWE not having Dolph cash-in . . . why am I not surprised? Why am I not disappointed? I was positive all through the build, but I guess that WWE has disappointed some much in the past that come show time any hope I had dissipates.
Match Rating: 5/10
The Streak
All things considered, a rather average match. I did like how Punk's tights were grey, black, and purple like Undertaker of yesteryear, it's a small thing but still a nice touch. Now, onto the match. I bursted out laughing when Undertaker sat up during the Anaconda Vise and then just kind of walked off the GTS immediately and hit the Tombstone. Like really, what a way to shit on both of someone's finishers. To me, those moments didn't come across as Taker's supernatural powers kicking in (didn't help that this angle focused on Taker's humanity more than any other in the past five or so years) but it felt like Punk's biggest moves were crap. Also, the GTS to Tombstone counter at the end was kind of sloppy, these two things really bring it down from a high average (6) to a more low average (5).
Match Rating: 5/10
Triple H's Rematch
This match was a trainwreck on pretty much every level except crispness (I didn't notice any botches, so they gets point(s) for that). It was boring as all hell. Everything spot was repeated ad nauseum. Brock Lesnar's Kimura Lock spot on Triple H, repeated thrice in a row. Triple H's Kimura Lock on Brock, repeated thrice in a row. Shawn's inept attempts at helping Trips against Lesnar, thwarted twice, quite pathetically. Almost every single move done by Lesnar was repeated to death, and he only did like four moves (german suplex, belly to belly suplex, F5 & Kimura Lock).
What's possibly worse than that, is that they didn't actually tell a story. Keyword is "a," they told different stories at different points in the match but they didn't really mesh into each-other and it didn't lead to a satisfactory conclusion. I didn't feel like a lot of this match was necessary, this match might've just been filled with so much padding that they only way to decipher the psychology behind the match is to strip it to half way down. Terrible, terrible match.
Match Rating: 1/10 (Note: Admittedly I'm being a bit harsh, I thought about giving it a 1.5 for the lack of botches, but I'm against giving half ratings when I'm rating things out of ten [five star ratings>ten star ratings], so I decided not giving it a 0 was being generous enough)
Cena's Rematch
This was also really, really bad. It was also really boring. Now, unlike every other match on this card essentially, they did attempt to have a build, a progression here. I think they failed but kudos to them for actually trying. The reason I think it failed is because after the initial few minutes it just became about rest holds for like five or seven solid minutes. When you do that, and don't intersperse enough in between, it just feels like pointless padding. Much like the Lesnar/Trips match, they did spots ad nauseum and I'm not just talking about the finishers. They did the blow-for-blow spot three freakin' times in the match, like they really couldn't come up with anything else. As for the mass finisher-fest, yeah to me this felt more like a self-parody than a legitimate wrestling bout, which isn't a good thing.
Unlike the last atrocious bout, lack of botches isn't the only thing I can praise about this match. It was pretty energized once it got going, which was nice and I really liked the callback to their previous match. This doesn't higher the score much but it does higher the score.
Match Rating: 3/10
PPV Rating: 3.8/10
Rankings
PPV's
I. Elimination Chamber ~ 6/10
II. Royal Rumble ~ 4.9/10
III. WrestleMania XXIX ~ 3.8/10
Matches
I. The Shield vs. The Justice League (Cena, Sheamus, Ryback): Elimination Chamber ~ 9/10
II. WWE Title, The Rock © vs. CM Punk: Elimination Chamber ~ 8/10
III. Elimination Chamber (Jericho vs. Bryan vs. Swagger vs. Kane vs. Orton vs. Henry): Elimination Chamber ~ 8/10
IV. WHC, Del Rio © vs. Big Show, Last Man Standing: Royal Rumble ~ 7/10
V.US Title, Cesaro © vs. The Miz: Elimination Chamber ~ 7/10
