Decided to watch the Rumble because work has recently decided that I don't need to work the weekends, and "meh, might as well". Was going to do my typical, long-winded, heavily-formatted review style but I'm going to try and not write a thousand words and will instead just give quick thoughts on all the matches since I'm not really invested in the product.
They Had Becky Lynch Tap!? ~ One of the most notable things about the Royal Rumble PPV was that, despite barely keeping my thumb on the pulse, I had basically predicted the results perfectly (only thing I got wrong was I thought Becky & Charlotte would both win the Rumble, so that's half-credit), so I came into this fully expecting Asuka to win but wow, I was not expecting them to have her tap out Lynch. Glad they did though, it clearly didn't damage Lynch and it helps re-legitimatize Asuka, plus it looked awesome. Favorite match of the night, a lot of good submission spots (loved them stealing each-other's finish), the fisherman neckbreaker looked a bit sloppy but was still a cool spot, and I like Asuka locking in the Asuka Lock on the rope. Plus, Asuka won a Championship match in a strong fashion, of course I'm going to love this match.
Miz's Father Only Became Proud of The Miz When Shane McMahon Won Championships for Him ~ Granted, The Miz cheated a lot to win all his single championships, but still, kinda a big slap in the face when you need to have Shane McMahon help you to make daddy proud. This was okay. I didn't hate it. Can't really remember anything about it outside of the Shooting Star Press and the commentary harping on the fact that Daddy Miz was never proud of him before.
Was The Attire Thing Planned? ~ This was the second best of the night, probably and the only thing I can think to ask is if Sasha's arm dangling bits falling off was intentional or not, because quite frankly her using them on Ronda in the Bank Statement was the highlight of the match though also I think it made the post-match funnier because Ronda gave Sash face props despite the blatant illegal tactics Sasha used on her in the match.
Finlay Stop Checking Out Lana and Stop Your Son From Molesting Zelina Vega ~ Not as good as last year but still loaded with a lot of fun moments. Both Kacy and Naomi's Rumble save moments stand out the most to me, outside of the return of Hornswoggle: Sexual Predator of course. I really enjoyed Naomi's Rumble save the most because a lot of times when WWE does these in a Rumble, they tend to get eliminated quickly after anyway (which almost defeats the purpose of it) so I like the fact that Mandy Rose snatched away Naomi even getting to fulfill her Rumble save. It was funny, but I thought it was also effectively impactful, like you get to see all the effort that Naomi put in since it was a long spot, and right before she can even return to the ring, Mandy Rose, already eliminated, with impeccable timing, knocks her out. Nice continuation on their feud (which sounds terrible, btw) and nice twist on the Rumble Save moment. The stuff with Lynch was also well-done. The most notable complaint I have for this was they gave the Iron-Woman distinction to Natalya, but it feels like she didn't even do anything. Like she got two eliminations, according to wikipedia, and the first happened almost immediately in the match and the second was with Kairi's help, the only spot I can remember her during is a powerbomb. It just didn't feel impressive at all that she lasted this long but unless unlike Seth Rollins, she was in the ring for most of her time.
Why Was This the Worst Match? ~ So The New Daniel Bryan has been conflicting for me. I've seen only a handful of promos and two matches from him. On one side, I love the new character, stuff like a hemp Championship, fantastic. Him calling out Vince McMahon, also great. On the other hand, I haven't liked either of his matches. I thought the match with Brock Lesnar was terrible (and yes, I'm aware I'm in the minority there) and this was better but it was really slow, it never really picked up, and it ended with a finish that while interesting for future stories, prevents the match from having a satisfying conclusion. Like, I enjoyed the moonsault Reverse DDT from the barricade since that was really slick and I enjoyed Styles using the turnbuckle to get on the ropes for the Phenomenal Forearm since it was the only form of pay-off we got the methodical pacing, but that was about it. Not awful mind you, but I was tuning out of this match.
This Was Fun ~ That's right, I thought the Lesnar/Bryan match was terrible but I enjoyed this one. Really fast-paced, a lot of high spots, the story they told with Balor made sense, and it did a solid job of making it seem like Finn Balor could've actually beaten him. On that note, has the Coup de Grace been kicked out of before? I don't watch much, but I can't recall it every being kicked out of, even in the Elimination Chamber they didn't have Strowman kick out of it (Balor hit it on him, and then Miz took out Balor before he could pin Strowman, because presumably Miz is an idiot), as far as I'm aware, this is the first time it happened on the main roster which means the commentators did an awful job (surprise here) since they didn't even sell the fact that Lesnar kicked out of it.
Hurt by Predictably But it Was Fine ~ Of all the matches, I feel like this is the one that was most hurt but the obvious outcome. Probably because they had Rollins on the outside, being taking out by Bobby ButtHurt Lashley, which just made it super obvious he was going over. Like, Lynch entering the Rumble at the very end (very smart to have her replace Lana and technically go in last to get the pop btw, didn't mention that but it was an excellent idea) made it obvious that she'd win but that happened at the very end and the drama between her and Charlotte was more interesting, plus she was more active. With Rollins, it did happen near the end but that was still so much content in-between, that it felt obviously constructed for him to come back and win. The finish there was cool with the Curb Stomp though. Besides that, this was enjoyable, I liked both of Kofi's spots, and I thought the No Way Jose joke was hilarious, first time I've enjoyed that guy. Oh and Nia! Dude, I was so happy that the men beat the crap out of her, it's been too long since Randy Orton got to RKO a bitch that was so fun. Also since it was mentioned earlier, Nia's the reason why the Men's Rumble closed last, they couldn't do her spot in the Rumble without having her lose the Women's first.
All in all, pretty fun show and I completely failed my quick thoughts objective. This is a show that is good enough to pull me back in though, I had fun with it, but it did help that I had pizza and my friend over to watch it, plus the Rumble matches are inherently fun so it's hard to mess that up, at least when experiencing it live, less-so in re-watch. Like, I'm not going to watch Mania this year unless work decides I'm still not doing weekends by then, but I enjoyed watching it.