Ladies and Gentlemen I am back doing this thing! Jake finally decided to do the logical thing and instead of giving the honor to Insane who does amazing recaps. He gave the temporary reigns to me. Smart ideas. Let's get to the show.
Weights on a Cruise match: Super serious guy vs one of the only 205 Live guys who show up on the other shows vs NXT guy
In a proper WWE games move, Gulak threw Humberto (ngl this is the first time I've ever heard of this guy) out of the ring after Humberto did his thing on Dorado and then Gulak won. Yeah! 205 Live is now associated with NXT because HHH said so.
Trump Title: The AJ with all of the Style vs Cedric Diggory
Aj won, duh.
Lol what tag division?: Doode vs Brallins
Something shocking happened. Because they're facing each other later on, Seth Rollins and Braun Strowman couldn't.....get along and they lost the tag titles *gasp* *even a bigger gasp* I know, I know it's a lot to take in, I'm aware. WWEs unpredictable booking strikes again. I have never been this shocked since Roman beat Brock at Summerslam 2018. Nothing could shock me more.
The women's title that isn't held by Becky: The hugless vs the person who's dad is not making her life easy right now.
OH MY GOD! THE NEWLY TURNED BAYLEY USED TRICKS TO RETAIN HER BELT! I am shocked! I am APPALLED! I have all of the emotions right now
lol this tag division is dead 2: Legacy 2.0 vs Those pesty youtubers
Randys lackeys beat Kofis lackeys. How wacky, Zacky. Who is Zacky? Nobody knows. Wilder put on figure 5 and Woods tapped out like a bitch. I could totally withstand a lock like that. For like 5 seconds before the tears start coming down my face.
HOW ARE THESE BELTS STILL A THING?: The team Crow dislikes vs Bliss & Crosses. That pun worked better in my head.
I actually saw this one. For like 5 seconds because the steam crashed and was behind. But the 24/7 title showed up! That's the highlight of everything. Cross crushed the Rose and pinned.
We really need less titles: Anyone remember Rusev? That guys former tag partner vs DON'T FORGET TO WATCH MIZ AND MRS ONLY ON E!
Do you actually care about this result? Do you? Sami Zayn was the most entertaining part of this match. Nakamura kicked Miz in the face. Yay!
The Becky/Charlotte/Ronda championship: Seth Rollins' Girlfriend vs AND I PUSH THEM ALL OUT THE WAYYYYYYY!
Becky attacked the referee but this time it was on accident not on purpose like some dickhead. You know who you are, you tosser. Did I just let my scouser out? Oops. Becky got dqed.
WHY WAS THIS NOT MAIN EVENTING? THIS OR THE PREVIOUS MATCH WOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT!: THE GUY WITH THE WETTEST HAIR vs Buddy Murph- wait no it isn't, IT'S FREAKING ROWAN.
So...Let's get this straight. Rowans entire motive for turning against Daniel Bryan was because he wants to be his own man and he's not going to be a slave and he wants to do it all on his own like the big boy he is. But now Luke Harper has came back. And he's helping Erick beat Roman Reigns. I'm sorry what? You didn't even give him a couple of weeks before you fucked up that entire motive.
Can Brock get the title back now?: Stop giving this guy a title reign, it's never ended we'll vs hey remember when Braun was intimidating? And he wasn't just a filler contender until The Fiend shows up? Yeah....
Seth killed a man. That move was just recently no longer banned and you used it 4 times! Chill. Also Yowie Wowie motherfucker! Bray shows up slams Sethy down Then applys Mr Socko.
In a proper WWE games move, Gulak threw Humberto (ngl this is the first time I've ever heard of this guy) out of the ring after Humberto did his thing on Dorado and then Gulak won. Yeah! 205 Live is now associated with NXT because HHH said so.
Trump Title: The AJ with all of the Style vs Cedric Diggory
Aj won, duh.
Lol what tag division?: Doode vs Brallins
Something shocking happened. Because they're facing each other later on, Seth Rollins and Braun Strowman couldn't.....get along and they lost the tag titles *gasp* *even a bigger gasp* I know, I know it's a lot to take in, I'm aware. WWEs unpredictable booking strikes again. I have never been this shocked since Roman beat Brock at Summerslam 2018. Nothing could shock me more.
The women's title that isn't held by Becky: The hugless vs the person who's dad is not making her life easy right now.
OH MY GOD! THE NEWLY TURNED BAYLEY USED TRICKS TO RETAIN HER BELT! I am shocked! I am APPALLED! I have all of the emotions right now
lol this tag division is dead 2: Legacy 2.0 vs Those pesty youtubers
Randys lackeys beat Kofis lackeys. How wacky, Zacky. Who is Zacky? Nobody knows. Wilder put on figure 5 and Woods tapped out like a bitch. I could totally withstand a lock like that. For like 5 seconds before the tears start coming down my face.
HOW ARE THESE BELTS STILL A THING?: The team Crow dislikes vs Bliss & Crosses. That pun worked better in my head.
I actually saw this one. For like 5 seconds because the steam crashed and was behind. But the 24/7 title showed up! That's the highlight of everything. Cross crushed the Rose and pinned.
We really need less titles: Anyone remember Rusev? That guys former tag partner vs DON'T FORGET TO WATCH MIZ AND MRS ONLY ON E!
Do you actually care about this result? Do you? Sami Zayn was the most entertaining part of this match. Nakamura kicked Miz in the face. Yay!
The Becky/Charlotte/Ronda championship: Seth Rollins' Girlfriend vs AND I PUSH THEM ALL OUT THE WAYYYYYYY!
Becky attacked the referee but this time it was on accident not on purpose like some dickhead. You know who you are, you tosser. Did I just let my scouser out? Oops. Becky got dqed.
WHY WAS THIS NOT MAIN EVENTING? THIS OR THE PREVIOUS MATCH WOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT!: THE GUY WITH THE WETTEST HAIR vs Buddy Murph- wait no it isn't, IT'S FREAKING ROWAN.
So...Let's get this straight. Rowans entire motive for turning against Daniel Bryan was because he wants to be his own man and he's not going to be a slave and he wants to do it all on his own like the big boy he is. But now Luke Harper has came back. And he's helping Erick beat Roman Reigns. I'm sorry what? You didn't even give him a couple of weeks before you fucked up that entire motive.
Can Brock get the title back now?: Stop giving this guy a title reign, it's never ended we'll vs hey remember when Braun was intimidating? And he wasn't just a filler contender until The Fiend shows up? Yeah....
Seth killed a man. That move was just recently no longer banned and you used it 4 times! Chill. Also Yowie Wowie motherfucker! Bray shows up slams Sethy down Then applys Mr Socko.
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