Prof Booty's Top 100 comedic movie Villains of all time countdown

[Fuji Vice]

First off, loved the honorable mentions this time around dude, particularly Frank Shirley and Ruby Deagle. Shirley is a jerk of the highest order, and as I said before, anyone who gives his employees a subscription to the Jelly of the Month club for a bonus totally deserves to be beaten with a rubber hose. Deagle is an excellent villainess and when she gets what's coming to her (in a great moment) its totally worth it. Falk and Korman are another two who I am glad made the list, as they are great in their respective roles and just great actors period. Falk particularly, love me some Columbo.

Now, onto the real list, as I am instantly pissed off that I forgot JP. Moore's performance here is totally worthy of his place on the list and though I didn't really enjoy the film, I certainly enjoyed his parts in it. Carry is an awesome choice for this list and yes, I had him on mine as well. I mean come on people, his name is the Shogun of Harlem...how much better can you get? He's awesome and tbh, so is the film, which a lot of people haven't seen...too bad for them.

The Cannonball Run and The Cannonball Run II are two of my all time favourite films, and the characters of Blake and Fenderbaum are absolute classics. Martin & Davis Jr. obviously had wild chemistry, but even they topped themselves in these films. I cannot even begin to fire off all the hilarity from them but I personally enjoy the dialogue when they are held at gunpoint by the hoods in Part II. One of the hoods says "The money, or I'll blow you away" to which Davis Jr. responds, "I'll take the money." LOL!! Martin also has a gem in Part II with the classic "Didn't you ever see Thornbirds?" after being rejected by a woman because he's dressed like a priest. Ok, tangent over, these two movies are getting the review treatment ASAP.

I never had an older brother, but I imagine if I did it would be someone like Chet. Paxton is so good in this role that I personally think its his best work, which is saying something considering the memorable characters he has played in other films. He is a total douchebag brother on every level and totally deserves this spot on the list. Stiffler is another great choice and I'm not surprised he is here. I don't think SWS is that good of an actor but he nailed this part for sure.

So with that part of the list I had 4 of the 5, though I was hoping you might throw Telly Savallas from Cannonball Run II in there as well, since Hymie is classic douche. I can think of two characters from the Cannonball Run (first one) that should make the list as well, but we'll have to wait and see on those. Can't wait for the next 5, I am positive I have figured out at least 9 characters that are left, it will be interesting to see if I've got the rest of them.

 

[JakeYourBooty]

There will be no more from the cb runs.....sorry just not enough space and the remaining 15 are all stars

 

[Smart Marx]

Awesome, awesome list. Gotta love JP being on there from Grandma's Boy. Just pure comic gold. I gotta agree with Troy though, the Stifmeister could have been higher but all in all, great stuff, Jake.

 

[JakeYourBooty]

15. a)Fred O'Bannion - played by Ben Affleck in Dazed and Confused

Fred O'Bannion stayed back a year in High School for the sole purpose of being able haze incoming freshmen for another year....that alone is a douche move of epically monumental proportions..Affleck along with McConeghy steal this movie...it's great flick with a great cast but those two are the highlights...and I also hate the lead actor with a hatred that burns hard...
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b)Bill Lumbergh played by Gary Cole in Office Space

The boss that everyone can relate to. If you have ever worked in a corporate environment this movie speaks volumes to you. Lumbergh more then likely makes you see red as this a-hole yes man...he is so infuriatingly good at pushing buttons...Cole knocks this one out of the park...and this is the role that defines his career..
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14. Shooter McGavin played by Christopher McDonald in Happy Gilmore

Goddamn do I love this performance! McDonald is amazing in every way. Nothing else I can say about this really. McDonald is a great comedic actor and this is easily his best showing...he outshines Sandler in this movie by far.
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13. Big Ern McCrackin played by Bill Murray in Kingpin

He works well with unwed mothers....he takes upstart bowlers under his wing....he has an awful hairpiece...he is Big Ern McCracken...he is evil in every sense of the word...Murray shines more then every other star in this film...and there are some great performances in this movie...but no one touches Big Ern...
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12. Eric Gordon played by Bradley Whitford in Billy Madison

ERIC!! Is a weasel scumbag of epic proportions and Whitford plays him with such an amazing filth that it's jaw dropping. You hate him from the get go and it only gets worse as it gets going...just an amazing job...and truly just deserves his place in the top 15
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11. White Goodman played by Ben Stiller in Dodgeball

Stiller is only tolerable imo when he is playing over the top crazy characters...and this is the best of the lot..White Goodman is fucking awesome and he knows it...no one makes him bleed his own blood...and he wants to mate...the purple cobras are his crew...god he is just a great scumbag...just legendary...
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[Fuji Vice]

Nice additions to the list dude and I am proud to say I had them all on mine, so I love you, but you already knew that. Starting off with a bang is Affleck's greatest performance by far. O'Bannion is an ultra-douche of the highest order and rightfully deserves this spot. Cole's Lumbergh is a perfectly douchey boss and he is so damn good in the role that it really defies words. I absolutely cannot stand this guy, which means he did a great job.

I agree with you that its hard to put into words how good McDonald is in the role of McGavin. I mean, the guy is an super-dick on every level yet he is the one I always want to watch most when he is on-screen, a testament to how good of a performance it was. Murray is perfect in the role of McCrackin and totally outshines the rest of the stellar cast. He owns every scene he is in without a doubt and I am glad he made it onto the list. He could have been top 10 imo, but now that I know most of who should be left I can see why he didn't.

Whitford's Gordon is Whitford at his best, easily eclipsing his earlier role in ROTN 2, though that one made the list as well. There is something so smarmy about Whitford in general that just bothers me, and he really knows how to use that to his advantage when doing films. Another guy who could easily be top 10 on this list. Finally, Stiller rightfully takes his place on this list as Goodman, the ultra, super, mega douche who is so wonderfully over the top in every way that he really makes Dodgeball a great film, much better than a lot of people give it credit for.

Excellent additions as always and now it's pretty much just a matter of me trying to figure out where your top 10 will place, because I am pretty sure I've got them all. Only time will tell though, and I can't wait for the conclusion, though I will be sad to no longer see these characters showing up on a daily basis. You'd better get to work on another list immediately, you have quite a talent for them sir.

 

[JakeYourBooty]

the top ten is here and I really could interchange them...but here we go...the blurbs are short because let's face it...they are so good they don't need explinations


10. Doug Neidermeyer played by Mark Metcalfe in Animal House

In a movie full of list worthy cocksmokers...Neidermeyer takes the douchecake..plus he was killed by his own troops in Vietnam....Metcalfe plays a douchebag so well that I am 100% sure he is a dickhead in real life...Just awesome in all ways....not to mention Metcalfe brought the character back so to speak for two awesome Twisted Sister videos
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9. Buelah Balbricker played by Nancy Parsons in Porky's 1-3

Balbricker is was and always will be the epitome of the 80's gym teacher...an iconic character with sooo many classic scenes that it's hard not to put her in the top ten..

8. Rachel Phelps played by Margaret Whitton in Major League

The former showgirl wife of the now deceased owner of the Cleveland Indians does everything in her power to move the team to better city with more perks for her...god forbid she has to feed Chow Chow real dog food..Whitton is utterly hatable and Rachel Phelps is a grade A bitch and the highest ranking female on the list.
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7. Lt. Thaddeus Harris played by G.W. Bailey in Police Academy 1, 4, & 5

Mauser & Proctor have already made the list but to me Harris is THE Police Academy bad guy...Bailey is superb in every way and I love everything about his performance...His portrayal is something that rings through my childhood and forever will.
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6. Judge Smails played by Ted Knight in Caddyshack

Elitist personified that is Ted Knight's Judge Smails. The complete package as far as the snooty holier then thou super-villain. The opposite of Dangerfield's Al in every way...not only does he battle with Dangerfield but also Chevy Chase's Ty...and he goes toe to toe with both comedic superstars...R.I.P. Mr Knight thank god we have Smails to enjoy til the end of time.
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5. Principle Ed Rooney played by Jeffrey Jones in Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Jones is great as the foil to our hero Ferris Bueller. Rooney is the obsessed Principle who has the greatest hate on for student that has ever been captured on film...if it weren't for Mr Gleason he would be the highest ranking School official but take nothing away from Jones is great in this film and deserves his spot in the top 5.
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4. The Cobra Kai in Karate Kid

So I know you are saying Booty...Cobra Kai aren't comedic...and are they really over the top cartoonish...well to that I say let me break this down...yes they are very cartoonish...the group as a whole is made up of such over the top douchebaggery it's hard not to add them...let's start at the top...
Sensai Kreese played by Martin Kove

over the top merciless martial arts master..that gets his kicks by showing a high school kid no mercy and then threatens violence on other high school kids? yeah a tad bit over the top

Dutch played by Chad McQueen

the cunthead typical bleach blonde psycho eyed asshole...Dutch is the real badass of Cobra Kai even if Johnny is the leader

Fat Guy played by no idea...

Comically chubby Cobra Kai member that is only shown when getting beat in the tournament by someone not Daniel Larusso...that is comical

Bobby Brown played by Ron Thomas

every bad boy has a sensitive side and Bobby is Cobra Kai's...yes he is the one to take out Larusso's leg in the Tournament but he immediately falls to his knees apologizing...he is the one that earlier says Daniel has had enough...no problem standing up to Johnny & Dutch...Bobby is as good of a guy as you find in this group of psychopaths..

Jerry played by Larry B Scott

token black guy is token....what's makes it even funnier it's played by the guy that played the gay nerd Lamar in Revenge of the Nerds...comedic gold

Tommy played by Rob Garrison

Tommy has the greatest line in the movie when he yells "put him in a body bag...YEAH!!!" He is looks like a human weasel...add the two together...he is epically douchey and very much a human cartoon...

Johnny Lawrence played by William Zabka

Zabka is the greatest young douchebag actor of the 80's he has given us the mighty trifecta of highschool douche and Johnny is the king of it...he often times looks like he is gonna cry...but then kicks Larusso's ass to show that he is a tough guy...just epically well played and I truly love the Big Z and wish he was in more shit...to this day...sweep that leg Johnny

 

[TroyTheAverage]

Rachel Phelps, very nice. I wasn't sure if she was going to get added or not. Pretty awesome thus far. The top 10 is great.

Can't wait to see who the top three are.

 

[Fuji Vice]

Nice start to the top 10 and I must admit I totally left off a couple of these from my list. I don't know how I forgot Metcalfe's amazingly douchey performance in Animal House, I must have been completely focused on Wormer. Regardless, I agree that any jerk who is killed by his own troops is a jerk of epic proportions. I also left off Balbriker, though I totally get why she made the top 10 because she is evil personified and Parsons is so good in this role. Phelps was on my list as she is the epitome of bitch and I'm very, very happy that you put her in the top 10 because she so richly deserves the honour.

While you know I prefer Mauser I find it hard not to agree with your choice of Harris here, particularly after watching that clip. Bailey is fantastic in the role and seamlessly goes from Part 1 to Part IV with no trouble at all. Again, his interactions with Kinsey are what makes him so good, so I've got no problems with his placement here. Smails is an all time favourite of mine, as are a lot of the characters on this list, and Ted Knight is so perfectly cast in this role that it defies words. When thinking of perfect choices for parts, Knight is near the top of my list for the elitist judge.

Ed Rooney is yet another that I had on my list and I am very happy that he made the top 5. You almost feel sorry for this guy because of all the crap he has to put up with from Bueller, but he is such an arrogant ass that you really don't. My personal favourite scene with him is when Bueller's sister kicks him in the face and knocks him on his ass, an absolutely wonderful moment. Finally, what more can be said about the Cobra Kai that you haven't already covered? Not much, because they represent everything that is right (or wrong if you will) about movie villains. Each one brings something special to the table and watching them get their comeuppance is truly a special moment.

I know two of the top three for sure, but for some reason the third one is escaping me right now. Perhaps that's because I am dead tired, or perhaps you are going to surprise me. Either way I'm looking forward to seeing how they end up.

 

[JakeYourBooty]

alright guys....top three time...it's been a long list...and these are the cream of the shitbag crop

3. Richard Vernon & Coach Wayne Hissler played by the great Paul Gleason in Breakfast Club & Johnny Be Good

The super twofer...in a career full of playing shitbags Gleason shines as Vernon and Hissler...Vernon is the king of bullying his teenage students during their Saturday detention...he is the most epic of characters from the 80's and really should be on this list all by himself...but Gleason's showing as Wayne Hissler is super epic as well...very underrated imo this is his greatest performance as the conniving coach of Johnny Walker...who is trying the best he can to ride Walker's coattails and does all he can to force Walker to go Piamont University...from fucking with is Grandfather's account at the local fisherman's shop to framing Walker for rape...then of course there is the line of this and any other Gleason movie..
"You want sympathy from me Leo, look between shit & syphilis in the dictionary." Gleason was a god...Rest In Peace good sir and thanks for all the shitbags..
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2. Biff Tannen played by Thomas F Wilson in Back to the Future 1-3

To be perfectly honest...what the hell can I say about Biff...there are few characters in movie history that are as iconic as Biff...it's such a strong performance that he could easily be number one...as could any of these top three....he is an epic shitbag for sure and one of my favorite of all times..
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1. Walter Peck played by William Atherton in Ghostbusters

yeah he is my number one...I have never hated another person in movie history more then Walter Peck...he has no dick...I watched this movie twice a day for like six months straight...so my hatred for Peck is pure...he is a shitbag to the 100th degree...fuck him and I gladly make him my number ONE!
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alright guys hope you enjoyed it...someday I may do another list...but only when I have time...the future does not look bright for my future

 

[Fuji Vice]

YES!!! Perfect top three, in any order they would have been classic. I knew they'd all be here and I was brain farting on Biff for some reason, but he was on the list too. Of course Gleason is perhaps the greatest douchebag actor of all time, and these two characters are his personal best without a doubt. Vernon and Hissler are all time classic dickheads and are instantly memorable.

Biff. I love Biff. I love his name. I love his "what are you looking at butthead". I love his "make like a tree and get out of here". And I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that you put the clip of the Question Song up there, because it is so fucking funny. The first time I ever saw that I must have watched it 100 times in a row, and tbh, I am probably going to again, much to Mrs. Fuji's chagrin!

Finally, Walter Peck. I was debating whether you would put Vernon or him in the number one spot, but I am glad you went with Atherton. I think that Peck is the absolute biggest douche in the history of film, from his totally asshole attitude towards everyone to his complete disregard for public safety. The fact that he almost destroyed the entire city that he was sworn to protect speaks volumes about this jerk. I only wish he'd gotten more than just marshmallow liquid poured on him at the end, he deserved a worse fate than that.

With the list concluded I would like to thank you again for taking the time and effort to put the whole thing together and look forward to your next one (please?). As we were talking about it before, I am going to add a few Honourable Mentions to this myself, but I'll hold off on that until everyone has had a chance to respond to the top 10. Kudos on a job well done my good man.

 

[JakeYourBooty]

I look forward to your HM's my good sir and thank u for all ur input it kept me going

 

[JakeYourBooty]

 

[Altervers]

Biff Tannon in the top 10 and rightfully so! i really dig this list. It had to be quite interesting to sort out and rank them like this. Awesome job on this thread!

 

[TroyTheAverage]

I was hoping that would be your top three. Everyone of those characters could hold the number one spot and be the perfect number one. Hell they could all be a tie for number one and I don't think anyone would object. Great list Booty and I hope to see another one soon when you get the time to do it.

 

[Fuji Vice]

Just wanted to add a few honourable mentions to this list, for I think these one's truly deserve it.

First off is Buddy Revell (played by Richard Tyson) from the film "Three O'Clock High". Revell is not only an arrogant bully who picks fights with students for the least little thing, he also feels the need to wear brass knuckles when beating on them, even though he is clearly strong enough without them...what a dick.

Second we've got Francis Buxton (played by Mark Holton) in "Pee Wee's Big Adventure", a classic spoiled douche in the grandest sense. The guy has his own private swimming pool that he uses as his bathtub for pete's sake! Plus he steals Pee Wee Herman's bicycle...what a dick.

Coming in third is RJ Fletcher (from Weird Al Yankovic's UHF, played by Kevin McCarthy). Fletcher is one of the biggest douchebags ever and is just a total a$$hole from start to finish. From his insensitive comments in regards to sexism to his rant about all the idiots he has trained like sheep, Fletcher is one hell of a giant penis.

Finally, a trio of excellent movie jerks comes in the form of the Fratelli's (played by Anne Ramsey, Robert Davi and Joe Pantoliano) from The Goonies. Words cannot describe how wonderfully evil these three are, from their threatening to puree a child's fingers to their mistreatement of their handicapped son/brother Sloth. Watching Anne Ramsey get thrown off the pirate ship is a truly satisfying experience and she actually could be on the list again for her awesome portrayal of Momma in "Throw Momma From The Train".

If I think of any more I will add them but these are the one's that I felt most deserved mention here.