"Baseball's all-steroid team"
First base: Starter: Mark McGwire. Backups: Rafael Palmeiro, Jason Giambi and David Ortiz. (In purgatory: Jeff Bagwell.)
Second base: Starter: Bret Boone. Backup: Marcus Giles (I mean, come on. Duh.) and Chuck Knoblauch (He said he took them but they didn't help him. Whatever.)
Third base: Starter: Alex Rodriguez. Backup: Ken Caminiti.
Shortstop: Starter: Miguel Tejada. Backup: Jhonny Peralta and Nomar Garciaparra.
Outfield: (Folks we are DEEP in the outfield). Left field: Barry Bonds. Center field: Lenny Dykstra. Right field: Sammy Sosa. Backups: Gary Sheffield, Rafael Palmeiro, Ryan Braun, Jose Canseco, Manny Ramirez.
Designated hitter: Rafael Palmerio. Backup: Manny Ramirez.
Catcher: Starter: Mike Piazza. Backup: Ivan "Pudge" Rodriguez.
(STATISTICAL NOTE: My starting lineup of Bonds (762), Rodriguez (647), Sosa (609), McGwire (583), Palmeiro (569), Piazza (427), Tejada (307), Boone (252) and Dykstra (81) combined for 4,237 home runs.)
Starting pitchers: No 1: Roger Clemens. No. 2 Andy Pettitte. No. 3 Kevin Brown, No. 4 Chuck Finley, No. 5 Jason Grimsley. (Note: Grimsley wasn't a great pitcher. But he deserves a roster spot for fingering Clemens and Pettitte in a major drug investigation.)
Closers: John Rocker and Eric Gagne. (I'm not going to tell either that they're only the setup guy.)