[Opening Pyro, crowd goes crazy etc. Etc.]
Noumenon: Hello and welcome to IWF! We have one hell of a show for you tonight.
This guy: That’s right, tonight we crown our champions and see some really good matches.
xFrenchKissx: The following Handicap match is set for one fall, on the way to the ring at a combined weight of “too heavy, warranty void†the team of; The408Kid and McFly!
xFrenchKissx: And from her high horse weighing in at 74 kilos, LadyHotRod!
DING DING DING!
As the bell rings McFly runs straight at LHR who hits him with a clothes line, 408 charges and tackles her to the ground, he stops to take a call from a Blue student and then takes a heavy punch right to the jaw, McFly picks her up and whips her into the ropes, as she comes back she hits a spear!
Noumenon: What a spear by LHR!
This Guy: McFly got that entire spear and he is down!
LHR picks up a chair and slams 408 in the head with it, the puts the chair underneath McFlys head and gets another one, she places it on top of his head and stomps on it, cover! 1...2...3!
DING DING DING!
xFrenchKissx: Here is your winner! LadyHotRod!
This Guy: Wow, what an impressive display from LadyHotRod, finally shutting those noobs up!
Noumenon: The world just got a lot smarter.
xFrenchKissx: This next Match is set for one fall, on the way to the ring, ...!
“The Great One†… breaks through the curtains and walks down the ramp for the crowd’s cheers. He raises his arms as he reaches ringside and slides into the ring. He walks to the corner and climbs the turnbuckle and raises his arms. He hops down and waits for his opponent, Beer.
xFrenchKissx: And his opponent, Beer!
Beer walks through the curtains with a beer in hand and slaps some fans’ hands as he reaches ringside. He pulls himself up to the apron and climbs the turnbuckle from the outside and raises his arms. He chugs the beer in three seconds flat and throws it ringside as he hops into the ring.
Bell Rings: Beer and … slap hands and circle each other in the ring. G1 raises his arms and the crowd cheers, loudly. Beer raises his arms and the crowd cheers just as loud. The two wearily approach each other in the middle of the ring and Beer goes for a roundhouse kick but G1 ducks it and goes for leg sweep but Beer hops over and hits a spinning heel kick! Beer goes for the pin and gets granted with an easy kickout. Beer and … stand up and Beer Irish Whips … into the ropes and hits an Arm Drag. G1 gets back up and runs toward Beer and gets rewarded with another Arm Drag! G1 gets up again and Beer goes for an Arm Drag but G1 reverses it into a Crossface! Beer screams in pain as … wrenches the submission hold. Beer raises his arm to tap! Beer starts to bring his hand down but instead he rolls G1 into a pin! 1…2…kickout by G1.
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Noumenon: That was close; I thought Great One was done for. Beer ftw! OY, FELLA! BEIR BETTA WIN OR I’LL KICK YER TEEF IN!
This Guy: wut.
G1 stands up and Beer gets on his knees. G1 backs up, and sprints towards Beer, kneeing him in the face in the process. G1 goes for the pin, nearfall. G1 stands up and raises his arms as Beer struggles to get up. G1 signals for Beer to stand and Beer stumbles into a standing position. G1 kicks him in the gut and raises him up into a Powerbomb position and Beer starts punching G1 in the head! Great One drops Beer and Beer hits a DDT on G1 for the pin!
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PeepShow breaks through the curtains and he has something on his mind. He storms down to the ring and rolls in and waits for his opponent.
Nation comes out to the sound of Call of Duty 4 gunfire. He walks down the ramp and PeepShow yells, “You suck at CoD!†and Nation rages. Nation runs into the ring and takes down PeepShow as the bell rings.
Nation nails PeepShow with a few hard shots and PeepShow rolls him over and starts punching him. The ref pulls PeepShow off of Nation and PeepShow spits in the referee’s face. “Cry, bitch,†he says. Peep goes back to Nation but Nation drop toes him into the ring rope! Nation stands up and rolls up PeepShow for a nearfall.
This Guy: Nation almost had PeepShow there.
Noumenon: PeepShow is better at CoD, thus he is better at life.
This Guy sighs.
Nation and PeepShow stand up quickly and PeepShow hits a European Uppercut followed by a Reverse DDT. PeepShow climbs to the top rope and yells, “You should just blow me!†as Nation stands up and hits a Missile Dropkick. Mel Gibson…err…PeepShow goes for the pin for a two count. PeepShow begins to punch Nation in the face. PeepShow stands up and raises his arms in satisfaction. Peep points at a random chick in the crowd and says, “You have a penis.†He goes back to Nation and picks him up to standing. PeepShow puts him in a headlock. He wrenches the submission as Nation starts to fade. Nation’s eyes close and the ref holds up his arm and drops it. 1. The ref repeats the action. 2. The ref does it one more time but Nation holds it up! Nation starts to punch PeepShow in the midsection. After a few shots, PeepShow lets go and Nation goes for a Superkick but Peep catches the leg and hits the PeepShow Stunner for the pinfall.[FONT="][/FONT]
xFrenchKissx: This next match is set for one fall, on the way to the ring, Axis! And his opponent, Chuck Taylors Grenade!
DING DING DING!
As the bell rings both men circle then lock up, Axis puts CTG in a headlock but CTG fights out and puts him in an armbar, Axis fights out and they both turn and face each other, the crowd cheers.
Axis runs to the ropes and rebounds running straight into a big boot! Cover! 1...easy kickout.
Noumenon: Axis ran right into that one!
This Guy: CTG has the advantage, let’s see what he makes of it.
CTG picks Axis up and Irish whips him into the corner then goes for a clothes line, Axis moves out of the way and kicks him in the back a couple of times before CTG turns around and throws him out of the ring.
1.......CTG walks out and slams Axis into the barricade.
2........CTG whips Axis back into the ring then climbs in himself
Axis kips up and hits CTG with a spear then puts him in a figure four!
This Guy: He’s got him in the figure four! This could be it!
Noumenon: Look at the way the legs are crossed!
CTG tried to inch over to the ropes but the pain becomes too much, he taps out.
DING DING DING!
xFrenchKissx: Here is your winner by tap out, Axis!
“Break the Walls Down†hits and Y2J Chris Jericho comes out and walks down the ramp. He walks up the ring steps and enters the ring.
Small Show comes out of the curtain to show that he is a 13 year old fatass. He hobbles down the ramp and rolls into the ring. He sits in the corner, out of energy as the bell rings.
Chris Jericho runs and knees Small Show in the face for the 1,2,3.
This Guy: Wow, John sucks.
Wordlife comes from out of nowhere.
Wordlife: AGREED!
Noumenon: Next up we have the first of three title matches, Mat Awesome and Sharpshooter 221 take on RC Styles and Dstebbins!
This Guy: This is going to be easy, Styles and Dstebbins are total idiots, they have no chance.
[commercial break]
The camera comes back on air just as the bell rings, Sharpshooter stands in his corner joking around with Mat as RC looks at the ref confused, he walks around in a small circle then tags in Dstebbins who looks at Sharpy for a second, he begins to drool, he takes a step forward and trips over and rolls onto his back, he begins to choke on his drool, Sharpshooter walks over to Dstebbins and puts his foot on Dstebbins’ chest, 1...2...3!
xFrenchKissx: Here are your winners and the new IWF Tag Team Champions, Sharpshooter 221 and Mat Awesome!
This Guy: See? No chance in hell, that was easy.
Noumenon: Yeah, I guess...
xFrenchKissx: This triple threat match is set for one fall and it is for the IWF Blue Troll Championship!
Maty walks out to a light pop, Iamironman walks out to boos as does MizMasta.
DING DING DING!
MizMasta walks up to Maty and yells at him, Maty runs up the ramp crying leaving only iamironman and MizMasta to fight for the gold, ironman attacks MizMasta with a clothes line, Miz gets up and runs at ironman, but he trips over and falls on his face! Ironman taunts then goes for a cover: 1...2...kickout by MizMasta
Noumenon: What the hell is going on here?
This Guy: This match is for the blueberry championship, maybe they are......I got nothin’
MizMasta stands up and throws a punch at ironman who falls onto his ass, Miz backs up and lands a dropkick right on the jaw of ironman, he rolls out of the ring, grabs a chair, goes back in and charges at MizMasta, he lays him out with a chair shot across the face, ironman raises his arm and smiles but then -TJ- runs out and spears ironman! Cover by MizMasta: 1...2...3!
xFrenchKissx: Here s your winner and the new IWF Blue Troll Champion! MizMasta3000
xFrenchKissx: This next match is set for one fall; and it is for the IWF Championship!
“Everyday I’m Hustlin’†by Rick Ross hits the sound system and Knox Beard walks through the curtains. He raises his arms and the crowd roars in excitement. He walks down the ramp slapping fans’ hands. He reaches the ring and climbs up the apron and goes into the ring. He walks over to the far turnbuckle, climbs it and raises his arms as the fans take hundreds of pictures.
xFrenchKissx: On the way to the ring, Knox Beard!
JoMo & the Smoothies breaks through the curtain and walks straight down to ringside. He walks over to the left and climbs the steel steps. He stands on the ring apron and watches his opponent. He slowly enters the ring and the ref calls for the bell to be rung.
Monkeystyle and Knox Beard circle each other in the ring. Knox goes for a lock up but Monk ducks and dodges. Knox and Monk circle each other again but this time Monk goes for a right kick to the leg followed by a left kick to the leg. Monkeystyle goes for a roundhouse kick to the head but Knox Beard catches the leg! He takes Monk down by sweeping the other leg. Knox drops the legs and rebounds off the rope but Monkeystyle moves and Knox is forced to hop over him. Knox rebounds off the other ropes and is caught with a dropkick for an easy kickout. Monkystyle quickly stands and hits a Corkscrew Leg Drop for barely a two count. Monkeystyle grabs Knox Beard by the back of the head and brings him to a standing position. Monkeystyle runs and bounces off the ropes only to be caught with a Running Crossbody by The Beard.
This Guy: Whoa! I don’t think Monkeystyle can get up from that enormous Crossbody. Knox goes for the cover on Monkeysstyle! One! Two Thr-kickout!
Noumenon: Now that just shows the heart of monkeystyle! He just isn’t the type of person who would delete the entire IWF if he gets mad! He just works hard and gets out of the predicament!
This Guy facepalms.
Knox Beard locks in a Boston Crab. Monkeystyle cringes in pain as he tries to inch toward the rope. After a while, Monkeystyle finally gets in arm reach of the ropes! He grabs the rope and the ref starts counting for Knox to let go of the hold. At the “four†count, Knox Beard lets go and strokes his beard to the crowds pleasure. He yells “Suplex!†and the crowd roars in approval. Monkeystyle tries to stand up using the ropes for leverage. He gets to one knee and he pulls himself up and leans on the ropes. He turns around and Knox Beard kicks him in the stomach and hits the Suplex for a nearfall! Knox Beard has a surprised expression on his face. Knox brings Monk to standing. Knox rebounds off the ropes and gets caught with a spinning wheel kick! Monkeystyle hops to the top rope to the crowd’s chagrin. Monkeystyle jumps off and hits a Frogsplash! NO! Knox gets the knees up! Knox Beard stands up, grabs Monk, and hits another Suplex for the pinfall!
Knox Beard stands up and the ref raises his arm as “Everyday I’m Hustlin’†hits the sound system. The crowd roars as ref hands Beard the IWF World Championship and Knox Beard holds it up as the show fades.
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i have to say, its damn hilarious.