Killz Previews & Picks SUMMERSLAM!

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Killz

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Hey-o! Like the pre-party to the pre-show live discussion to the kick-off YouTube event to the biggest part of the summer it’s my semi-monthly Preview and Picks thread!

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You know when the company puts on a B-PPV and has a foregone conclusion as the main event like most of Punk’s 434 reign or Cena vs Mark Henry a month before Summerslam? Yeah; how often do they have a dark poster or a poster with a single focus or a poster that screams WWE event? I’d say relatively often. The card will usually feature the Funkadactyls too. This year we have the HUGE Brock vs Punk match and the really well built, Punk/Cena v2 main event, between Bryan and Cena that will inevitably kick-off some sort of McMahon family power struggle feud…and we’ve got the frickin’ roller coaster poster. I made myself angry…let’s begin, shall we?

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I regularly hate on the Diva’s division. What’s more is that I read a god damn Mark Madden (I think) article the other day where he cried on about so-called “writersâ€￾ and members of the IWC not referring to these matches as piss-breaks because it’s disrespectful and we’re all snotty nosed, pre-pubescent, spot-covered assholes living in our mom’s basement. Bully Ray has said similar recently. Matt Morgan famously suggested people who buy the product don’t get a say because they couldn’t wrestle. I could wrestle. I could wrestle at a tiny show if I wanted to or I could go on the road, move my entire life and try to make it in the big leagues (likely not eating for months on end and suffering an unfortunate dose of death). I choose not to as I prefer watching but I’ve bought my PPV’s and I’ve bought my t-shirts so guess what – here’s your PISS BREAK! Now I’ve got that out of the way this is the kind of build I had 100% skipped over (sue me) and so I was shocked to see it on the WWE.com homepage! Is Nikki/Nicky/Niki…fuck…injured or something? And Maria Menuous is around? And that Eva is too..and the Funkadactyles…I just…is this a Total Divas feud…? I’ll guess Natalya because I could not care less at this point. Go watch the Taryn and Gail Kim ladder match from iMPACT a few weeks ago when this comes on if you don’t need the toilet.

Killz Pick: No-one. With this division, say what you want about reality TV and whether you’ve enjoyed Total Divas, we’re all losers.

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I love Ambrose. His facials, his acting, his sell-work is all excellent. His promo work with the other SHIELD guys is off the hook. He has huge breakout potential if he can work a smoother match and hold up his side of the deal but he’s one of these guys who actually doesn’t need to be a ring general or a timing expert because everything he does is so WATCHABLE. On the flip side I’m not 12 and I’ve never given a rats ass about ECW really because once you’ve seen on hardcore match you’ve seen them all (FLAME INCOMING) so I don’t actually like RVD. He is working at 50% above his TNA work level and, like he said, the guys he’s working with are bringing that out of him. I expect this to be fun but to be a dusty as hell finish and to lead an 8th match on the card in the form of the 6 man everyone’s expecting or at LEAST a tag-title shot for Show and Henry. Talking of wrestling articles etc, I write this once a month but I saw an article today that said “BREAKING: UPDATE ON STORYLINE PLANSâ€￾ that amounted to “So HHH is the ref because of a power angle and there’s something going on with the divas but plans can change at any time!â€￾ Are people getting paid for that shit?

Killz Pick: I wanted a no finish BUT I’ll go for Dean “RVD aint Andre’s ghostâ€￾ Ambrose!

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Well, Big E has sure come out of his shell and got a mega-push out of this…and that big singles match with Dolph to get him over…and you know how Dolph was super over fighting for the World Title…ah forget it, just extend the Kaitlyn/AJ feud and give them some weak, cringing mic time on Smackdown! In all seriousness I love the individuals in this match. Kaitlyn and AJ are ok female workers and fun to watch. Ziggler should be in the main event working that mic with big timers and not AJ and Big E needs to be so much further along than he is now. I’m not a fan of the mega-push but how do you NOT get a monster heel over with someone as white hot as Ziggler? Oh yeah, you make him AJ’s bitch practically and then tease another stupid AJ lover angle. I think I’m still angry it isn’t Del Rio/Ziggler for the gold. This match could be fun but more than anything I’m looking forward to the finish because I’m DESPERATE for the faces to just go over and leave this mixed tag stuff behind.

Killz Pick (see:hope): Dolph Ziggler and Kaitlyn, yo!

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Ah man I watched Sam notsam Roberts interview Cody today on YouTube (Sam Roberts & Cody Rhodes - Current spot in WWE, Growing up a Rhodes, etc - YouTube) and it made me really happy to see Cody feel like he’s on the verge of getting to where he needs to be but also putting Sandow over as a future Champion. Really cool. I’ve been a fan of Cody since the “dashingâ€￾ gimmick and I’ve got to say there are a few guys who you can really tell know their craft inside and out in terms of timing, positioning and everything and I think Cody is really in his stride and putting on some of his best career work. The odd thing is to see someone so good in the ring and used so regularly not even be given the main event feud really. A lot of guys hover around his spot and are given teaser feuds but Cody seems to make the best of what he’s got. He’s once again in the midcard but he’s working with a guy I also unashamedly love, for gimmick alone, in Damien Sandow. I worry about the match tonight though. No ladders, no briefcase on the line…just a singles match. I know they’ll put 110% into it as it’s Summerslam, pay-per-view #2 in the eyes of WWE, but I just don’t know how the crowd will react. I hope they play along and I hope they haven’t been killed by some plodding Mark Henry/Big Show face segment or something prior to the match. I think they execute and we’ll see Cody remain in favour with the crowd but Sandow look a million bucks. With the briefcase on the line I’d have said you have Cody take it to keep the feud alive that way but with nothing on the line I think you have Sandow steal one or bail or something (tonights actual dodgy finish) so you can extend and have the briefcase be on the line as a gimmick later on. Maybe. Or maybe Orton does nothing tonight and SANDOW CASHES IN! It’s so exciting not being able to predict results. I’m something like 14 for 15 the last two PPV’s in picks so this is refreshing…

Killz Pick: Damien “I feel welcome, you know?â€￾ Sandow

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*sniff* smell that? That’s money in Bray Wyatt. That’s the smell of someone who doesn’t need 6 more months working and a team-wide blowoff feud (the Shielf) and that’s the smell of someone who’s character is almost immune to burial at this point. He has created something SO unique and so worthy of attention it’s incredible. In NXT it was legit and to see it translate to the big crowds is even better. He’s going to need time to win everyone over but when your first match is an inferno match with the veteran Kane and you have two guys next to you making everything you do look vicious as hell…you’ve got a formula for success! Boy does Kane get better with age. For every step he loses in pace he seems to make up for in reliability and promo work and timing and move execution. Year on year he remains and year on year he astounds me. Kane will make Bray Wyatt look like a million bucks tonight. Do the English have an equivalent phrase for that? Anyway, I’m very excited for the spectacle of the ring of fire. Does the PPV need it? I think you’ve already sold all you’ll sell with the two main events (Cena/Brock/Punk/Bryan) so I’d have liked to see it maybe main-event a B PPV but hey, it will make tonight all the more exciting. Follow the buzzards…

Killz Pick: Bray Wyatt (p.s. Luke Harper is the shit)

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We’re getting there now. We’re at the meat of this sandwich. This would be the ham in my preferred sandwich of choice. It would go on first and be followed by boloni, salami, maybe some lettuce, definitely some cheese…basically good but not the main attraction. It’s all kind of bland really. ADR is still remembered for beating the holy living freakin’ daylights out of Ziggler and more recently Ricardo and yet he’s in this back and forth total wrestling feud with Christian. I’m not sure why you wanted give Ziggler another shot or why you wouldn’t have Del Rio play a bully against Christian. Right now Christian has just won contendership and pinned Del Rio. That’s your story and booking 101 says that means Del Rio walks out as champ. I don’t know if Christian has lucked out getting another shot in the spotlight or whether this is all so wasted on him. One…more…match is a fun catchphrase and character. Christian himself is a fun character. His mic work isn’t what brought him to the dance but had management looked differently upon him it might have been what catapulted him straight to the top. The fact he doesn’t get regular in-ring mic time during his feuds these days is RIDICULOUS. The fact Christian isn’t heel right now is RIDICULOUS. Turn him heel, give him a mic and let him show the world why one more title run is what he deserves and what would be entertaining. This stuff he’s involved in right now is weak. It’s like they’re waiting for Edge to be cleared or something so they can try that angle again. Newsflash: neither of these guys are as over as you’d like WWE and it’s largely your fault! Still, let us not complain, with Cena injured in the main event and Punk/Brock being more like a fight I don’t doubt this will at least quench our collective thirst for some wrasslin’!

Killz Pick: A-D-R! A-D-R! …*sigh* I miss Ricardo…

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This is a weird one for me. I like these guys and I’ve enjoyed Brock’s matches since he’s been back. Punk is the #2 guy in the whole of the WWE and I find him really entertaining and just a great personality to watch. Together? Not so much actually. The money here for the fans is in the payoff in seeing Punk wail on Heyman and we will get that tonight and likely at the expense of a Punk win. The money for the company is in Lesnar. That’s why this is happening primarily; Lesnar being Punk’s opponent and on the billboards is a vehicle for Punk to get his revenge on the real heel of the situation in Heyman. That’s what I’m invested in and I hope that’s what we get. Heyman has been gold since forever, I understand that, but I hope he moves on a little bit after this event. I hope he tries to nurture Axel and if Brock goes and Punk moves on; bring in another guy. I want to see Heyman on TV and I want to see him build more stars. I also want to see him get punched in the face tonight. Guy is a GENIUS. I haven’t got much more to say about this one…I always worry about the health of Brock’s opponents because sometimes it’s like he doesn’t really “feelâ€￾ his own strength and Punk is a lot leaner and lighter than Cena or Hunter so I just hope Punk doesn’t get F-5’d into a rail and bust his ribs or something. It’ll be a great spectacle but as usual I’m asking what’s next before the match and that’s not an amazing sign. Something to note is that I think booking suggests if Punk gets hold of Heyman then Lesnar will take the win but I want to give myself the caveat that that is only if Punk is taking some time off or taking a backseat after the ‘Slam. If Punk is going back to the title or into something big then it’s happy happy thumbs up time for Punk and he’ll stand tall over them both.

Killz Pick: BRRRRRROCK. LESNAR!

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Here we go; it’s the big one. We’ve been waiting Daniel-san. Bryan had some great matches with Punk for the title and has been World Champion before but this is the big one. This is the superbowl, the champions league, the world cup and not some domestic trophy or divisional round. Unfortunately if this was at ‘Mania we might close the show with Bryan stood tall and fireworks abound but it’s Summerslam and big, if not conclusive, angles are more likely. There have been huge wins before of course. ’92, Orton over Blank etc etc but with Hunter in the mix and the McMahon power struggle looming there’s not a huge chance Bryan will get his fireworks and moment in the sun.

Triple H’s addition is sensible. Do I wish it wasn’t Hunter? Yeah cause I don’t like his nose in Bryan’s business. Do I understand it’s a vehicle to move this story potentially into realms of awesomeness? Yes I do. I think everything is set up for the heel turn Hunter has in his arsenal. It’s clear Vince doesn’t like either guy as champ so I suspect Orton is his guy. I think it’s easy for Hunter to come out and just say he never liked Bryan as potential champ and is effectively a Cena guy. This leaves some wriggle room for Bryan to remain over with the crowd as Cena would be left partisan as usual and Orton would likely be your corporate douchebag champion.

Fantasy booking aside let’s look at the facts. Cena is injured but works through that stuff and frankly, his moveset hardly requires being 100% especially versus a smaller guy like Bryan. Cena also goes at 200% velocity at the big PPV’s. Bryan is a workhorse, stupidly over, great technically and has been supremely effective at selling himself and the stories he’s been involved in over the last couple of years. McMahon drama is always entertaining and will likely interject itself. Randy Orton is a pro and a tremendous professional wrestler who deserves to be back on top and is the current MITB holder for the WWE title. I think this match, start to finish, has the potential to be memorable in terms of spectacle, entertaining in terms of storyline and respected in terms of wrestling. I for one am excited and this basically sells the pay-per-view for me. I’m a Bryan guy; Cena is just a parody of a wrestler who can’t sound out his moves away from a camera 90% of the time. Above all that though I’m an Orton guy. This is hard. Has the cash-in be made TOO obvious? Will Hunter stay true and stop the cash-in? Will Cena dive in front of that bullet and let Bryan escape? Do they swerve the world and have Cena actually beat Bryan first due to a Hunter turn and then have CENA lose the title to an Orton cash-in? Does that make Orton heel and Cena the corporate guy? I DON’T KNOW ANYMORE!

Killz Pick: Daniel “the small packageâ€￾ Bryan!

Killz BONUS ROUND: Randy Orton leaves YOUR WWE CORPORATE ASSHOLE CHAMPION if Cena should beat Bryan tonight.

Enjoy the show. Peace and love.
 
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Keith

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Six out of eight on the prediction scale, not bad. Good piece.
 

Killz

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Jun 26, 2010
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Yeah a slight reduction on previous months but I'm still pretty happy with it! Cheers.

Need to start getting these up earlier so more people comment...hopefully...