KIF's Sim League(Moved From VIP)

[Kiffy Lube]

Sorry, it's takin' me a few days to get to this. I will sim this tomorrow afternoon.

 

[Chris]

It's all good, let the suspense build.

 

[Sky]

LVE: "Uh... Orlando? Why do they call it a shark cage? Are there actual sharks in there? I'm scared..."

OJ: "Now, now. Don't worry your pretty little ass about that. It's only 'cause the cage is pretty small. Like the ones people 'swim with sharks' in."

LVE: "We're swimming with sharks after the match?! No one told me about this!"

Enter Brian Knobbs from the side, holding a slab of meat.

BK: "Hey, hey, hey! How are my favourite nasty little W.H.O.R.E.S.?"

LVE: "Oh... Hi! You want to strategise with us?"

OJ: "Lacey... He's not on the card. So he'll probably just go out on the town with that bizarre 'Nasty Brother' of his. So, Brian... What are you carrying that for?"

BK: "I'm off ta' make pulled pork? Ya never had pulled pork before, Jordan?"

OJ: "Oh, you know me, I never kiss and tell. Winks"

awkward silence to fade

 

[Kiffy Lube]

Oh look I'm addin' Brian Knobbs v.s Dusty Rhodes in a Pulled Pork Eat Off.

 

[Kiffy Lube]

KSL Presents SummerSlam- 2 night event(season 5):
Live from the State Farm Arena in Phoenix, Arizona

Night 1:
Middle East Deathmatch(pretty much just a Texas Deathmatch) for the Immortal Title: Muhammad Hassan(Raidokken) v.s Mr. Perfect(Blaze)(c)

Hair v.s Mask for the IC Title Match: Asuka(Grim) v.s Lince Dorado(Ingonious)(c)

6-Man Tag Team Title Match: Ricochet, Roman Reigns & Cesaro(Pace, Mox Girl & Chris) v.s The Green Light Elite & Jeff Hardy(Juice & Sass)(c)

Women's Title Match: Tegan Nox(Steph) v.s Carmella(EC)(c)

The Undertaker(Chris) v.s Ric Flair(Grim)

Grudge Match: Chris Candido(Chris) v.s Chad Gable(Ingonious)

Pulled Pork Eat- Off: Dusty Rhodes(Father Blaze) v.s Brian Knobbs(Sky)


Night 2:
World Title Match: AJ Lee w/CM Punk(Smark) v.s JBL w/Bully Ray(EC)(c)

Piranha Deathmatch for the US Title: Johnny Gargano(Sass) v.s Jon Moxley(Mox Girl)(c)

Tag Team Titles Match: Shelton Benjamin & Cedric Alexander(Mitch & Steph) v.s Arn Anderson & Daniel Bryan(HoHo & Jimmy King)(c)

Hardcore Title Match: Apollo Crews(Ingonious) v.s Brother AbdBillah Gaddafiberg(Juice)(c)

Lacey Von Erich is in a Shark Cage for the Non-Binary Title Match: Orlando Jordan(Sky) v.s Kevin Owens(Jimmy King)(c)

The Dungeon of Deezy(Deezy) v.s The Un-Americans of William Regal, Lance Storm & Owen Hart(Mitch & HoHo)

Brodie Lee(OMB) v.s Hulk Hogan(Grim)


-Split up the shows and added another match to make things even. I will be simmin' in a couple hours.
​

 

[Kiffy Lube]

KSL Presents SummerSlam- 2 night event(season 5):
Live from the State Farm Arena in Phoenix, Arizona

Night 1:
Grudge Match: Chris Candido(Chris) v.s Chad Gable(Ingonious)
Winner: Double DQ when Archer got involved followed by Ciampa and it turned into melee...(19:31) ****1/4

Then all of a sudden some bippty boppity style music starts to play and out comes Jerry Seinfeld who announces he is replacin' Tim Allen and this now a tag match with Candido & Ciampa v.s Archer & Gable. He also announces this will be No DQ since these 4 hooligans can't be trusted. Jerry skips off like a buffoon and we get back to the action.

No DQ Match: Chris Candido & Tommaso Ciampa(Chris & OMB) v.s Chad Gable & Lance Archer(Ingonious & OMB)
Winners: Chris Candido & Tommaso Ciampa after Gable ended up tappin' out in Ciampa's Stretch Muffler.(16:53) ****

Women's Title Match: Tegan Nox(Steph) v.s Carmella(EC)(c)
Winner: Tegan Nox after hittin' a top rope Chokeslam.(14:42) ***1/4-***1/2

Pulled Pork Eat- Off: Dusty Rhodes(Father Blaze) v.s Brian Knobbs(Sky)
Winner: Brian Knobbs after eatin' 22 pulled pork sandwiches within the 5 minute time limit. Dusty barely got to 20. This ends with Knobbs throwin' up all over Dusty. Dusty hits his trademark elbow to the top of Knobb's head as he celebrates for some reason covered in vomit.(6:44) Well then

The Undertaker(Chris) v.s Ric Flair(Grim)
Winner: The Undertaker after hittin' a Chokeslam followed up by a Tombstone.(15:36) ***3/4

Hair v.s Mask for the IC Title Match: Asuka(Grim) v.s Lince Dorado(Ingonious)(c)
Winner: Lince Dorado after hittin' a Shootin' Star Press off the top of a ladder from out the ring to inside the ring.(17:35) ****1/4
-After the match a pissed off and crazy Asuka starts cuttin' her own hair and shoutin' in Japanese all the way to the back. Dorado looks on in bewilderment.

6-Man Tag Team Title Match: Ricochet, Roman Reigns & Cesaro(Pace, Mox Girl & Chris) v.s The Green Light Elite & Jeff Hardy(Juice & Sass)(c)
Winners: Ricochet, Roman Reigns & Cesaro by DQ when The Green Light Elite attacked Reigns and Cesaro with their belts. Jeff Hardy walks out on his team after this.(16:47) ***1/4

Middle East Deathmatch for the Immortal Title: Muhammad Hassan(Raidokken) v.s Mr. Perfect(Blaze)(c)
Winner: Muhammad Hassan after a wild match that saw both Bookah get thrown out as well as the Horseman by New Jack and Rudy. It was a jumpin' piledriver onto the cement that finally led to Perfect bein' unable get back to his feet.(23:12) ****


-I'll have night 2 up in a little while.​

 

[Chris]

Jerry Seinfeld also damn bald Asuka

 

[RDK]

Al Qaedah reign and Immortal will never be the same. Stay tuned for a title coronation at the next show where Bookah will ask Perfect to kiss the feet of the new champion, and Al-Qaedah's own...Muhammad. Hassan.

 

[CakeWalker]

 

[Kiffy Lube]

Night 2:
Tag Team Titles Match: Shelton Benjamin & Cedric Alexander(Mitch & Steph) v.s Arn Anderson & Daniel Bryan(HoHo & Jimmy King)(c)
Winners: Arn Anderson & Daniel Bryan after tradin' roll ups Bryan was able to hook in a deep small package on Alexander.(22:43) ****3/4

Hardcore Title Match: Apollo Crews(Ingonious) v.s Brother AbdBillah Gaddafiberg(Juice)(c)
Winner: Goldberg after 'Berg was able to roll throw with a leg vice and as he was stretchin' Crews to hell and back, Crews ended up tappin' out.(12:35) **3/4

Lacey Von Erich is in a Shark Cage for the Non-Binary Title Match: Orlando Jordan(Sky) v.s Kevin Owens(Jimmy King)(c)
Winner: Orlando Jordan after Owens was distracted by Lacey doin' a strip tease in the cage and throwin' her clothes down at Owens, Jordan was able to get a sneaky school boy for the victory.(9:28) **1/4

Brodie Lee(OMB) v.s Hulk Hogan(Grim)
Winner: Brodie Lee after hittin' 3 short arm rollin' lariats to finally secure the win.(17:42) ***1/2

Piranha Deathmatch for the US Title: Johnny Gargano(Sass) v.s Jon Moxley(Mox Girl)(c)
Winner: Jon Moxley after puttin' an unconscious Gargano after a deadly Bulldog Choke into the Piranha tank, Moxley dragged out Gargano and hit a Paradigm Shift in the middle of the ring.(28:53) ****1/2

The Dungeon of Deezy(Deezy) v.s The Un-Americans of William Regal, Lance Storm & Owen Hart(Mitch & HoHo)
Winners: The Dungeon of Deezy after the Yeti hit a modified World's Strongest Slam on Owen Hart.(11:29) **1/2

World Title Match: AJ Lee w/CM Punk(Smark) v.s JBL w/Bully Ray(EC)(c)
Winner: JBL after Bully decimated Punk through the announcer's table, Lee was arguin' with the referee to restore order only to turn around and get her head takin' off with a Lariat From Hell.(19:30) ***1/2

-Will have the next cards up later tonight, most likely.​

 

[Chris]

I can only imagine how AJ Lee would take a Clothesline From Hell almost 20 minutes deep into a match

 

[Kiffy Lube]

Un-Americans keep strugglin' but to be fair Lance Storm & Owen Hart struggled before as a regular tag team before they ended up holdin' the tag titles for like 7 months so I'm sure they'll get the kinks fixed out.

 

[Kiffy Lube]

Immortal Presents No Mercy
Live from the SAP Center in San Jose, California

Team Al-QaeDah of Muhammad Hassan, King Bookah & Goldberg & ???(Raidokken, Juice & ???) v.s The New Horseman of Arn Anderson, Daniel Bryan, Ric Flair & Mr. Perfect(HoHo, Jimmy King, Grim & Blaze)

IC Title Match: Roddy Piper(Father Blaze) v.s Lince Dorado(Ingonious)(c)

Tuxedo Match for the Non-Binary Title Match: Kevin Owens(Jimmy King) v.s Orlando Jordan(Sky)(c)

Dusty Rhodes(Father Blaze) v.s Brian Knobbs(Sky)

Asuka(Grim) v.s Shelton Benjamin(Mitch)

Cedric Alexander & Ricky Steamboat(Sass & Keith) v.s Wade Barrett & Nick Aldis(Dmac)

Will Mr. Perfect kiss the new champion's feet?

-Might rework this around considerin' who decides to team with Team Al-QaeDah.

Iconic Presents Badd Blood
Live From the FirstOntario Center in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada

World Title Match: CM Punk(Smark) v.s JBL(EC)(c)

US Title Match: Tommaso Ciampa(OMB) v.s Jon Moxley(Mox Girl)(c)

#1 Contednership for the US TItle: Chris Candido(Chris) v.s Chad Gable(Ingonious) v.s Lance Archer(OMB)

6-Man Tag Team Titles Match: Dungeon of Deezy(Deezy) v.s Ricochet, Roman Reigns & Cesaro(Pace, Mox Girl & Chris) v.s The Green Light Elite & ???(Juice)(c)
-Will Jeff Hardy join his team or will he be replaced?

Women's Title Rematch: Carmella(EC) v.s Tegan Nox(Steph)

Bully Ray(EC) v.s AJ Lee(Smark)

Handicap Match: The Un-Americans of William Regal, Lance Storm & Owen Hart(Mitch & HoHo) v.s Jeff Hardy(Sass)


-The cards that have so far.​

 

[Hidden Blaze]

So @A Mitchmas Story you still looking for new members of Un-Americans?

 

[Mitch Buchannon]

So @A Mitchmas Story you still looking for new members of Un-Americans?

Hell yeah bro


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