Goodness! What a Pay-Per-View we had!
That is right, my darlings – like you, I was enthralled, fascinated, amazed, riveted. If this is what the ordinary ACW Pay-Per-View looks like, then good gracious! And having been told Overdrive (the previous event) was even so much better, I can only imagine…! I do believe I would have fallen victim to cardiac arrest, had I watched that one!
Where to begin?! There is just so much to talk about! Great matches, dramatic decisions, impactful events – my goodness, it was just a non-stop rollercoaster! I suppose, however, that, as with any proper story, it might be best to start at the beginning. As such, I shall be presenting a breakdown of the matches, in order of occurrence, and stopping here and there to comment on transpired backstage events. Buckle your seatbelts, darlings, because here we go!
The night opened with what would have been a Fatal Four-Way between Andrew Reynolds (someone who seems to have fallen out of favour with management), Sammy Sensation, Michael Black, and my countryman, Solomon White, about whom I had heard many good things. But while there was a decent amount of eye-candy in this match (not the least of which Solomon, who embodies British charm and poise), and while I was curious to see what Sol could do in the ring, I am afraid neither of the four men had a chance to really display their abilities. It all descended into a horrid mess of chairs to the head and cheap shots, no better than you would find outside a pub in the East End in London on a Friday or Saturday night. Quite shameful, really, and not a very good start to our pay-per-view. */ 5.
Fortunately, things only went uphill from then on, and our second match already delivered a decent viewing experience. Aaron Asterisk is a cutie, of course, but while that Kid Krazy may have a horrid sense of fashion (face-paint is *so* 1990’s, darling!), he can definitely hold his own inside a wrestling ring. This was a fast-paced, riveting contest, which had me with my heart in my hands! And while I was happy to see my dear Aaron get the win (a girl is allowed take sides on occasion, dears), I would not have begrudged Kid Krazy a win either. That final stretch was simply breath-taking – I hope Aaron didn’t suffer too much from that brutal Monkey Flip! My goodness! In short, a very good contest, and both men will have reasons to be proud – I predict great things for the two of them in the future. ***/5.
Sadly, the third match once again brought a sour taste to my mouth. I loathe people who mock those with disabilities – shame on you, Brandon! Poor Multiplex (note to self: find out why the poor man is named after a movie-theatre complex) has no control over his disorder! Making fun of him as mean-spiritedly as you did is inexcusable! With that said, this was a decent enough match; nowhere near as exciting as what came before (and after), but both men showed that they have arguments to succeed in this business. Multiplex just needs to get his disorder under control (is he receiving proper support?), and Banks needs only put his attitude in check – being self-confident is excellent, but there have to be limits, dear. **/5
I should stop here and address the little brotherly spat between my dear John and his brother. You boys need to work out your differences, darlings! You are brothers! If you cannot rely on each other, who *will* you rely on? Now, John, I know you have better sense than that, dear – listen to your friend K-Bux!
Apologies for that brief detour, darlings. Just something I needed to get off my chest. Let us move swiftly on to what was another excellent match – the Number One Contendership for the International Title. I knew Abram Vance from my brief stint at the PWA, and I knew what he was capable of, so I was surprised to see him struggling against this Heath Venomous. But then, I was informed that Heath is reportedly a vampire! Oh my goodness! And here I thought vampires were merely creatures of fiction! I wonder if Heath knows Eddie Cullen – if so, dear, would you please set up a meeting? But I digress. Abram *did* win the match in the end, proving just how resourceful he can be. And to be honest, it is not hard to see how someone who was burdened with *that* kind of face would need to sharpen his other skills… But I digress once more. This was an excellent match, with a ‘never-say-die’ attitude from both contenders, and great improvisational work from Abram, who well deserved his win. ***1/2 /5.
Now, at this point, I must confess I swooned – my dear Stevie Starr was on the screen! That man is like a fine wine! It truly *is* a shame that he will not settle down with any woman, because she would be the luckiest girl in the world! Stevie, darling – you still have my number. Call me!
After my honeybunny had introduced his two little friends and sadly departed from my screen, my eyes got to feast on yet another piece of (sadly, taken) eye candy. Zack Bronko is an impressive male specimen, and I found myself praying that he would not hurt Jacqui M too badly. And speaking of the proud representative of my sex, I should also send a word of sympathy out to her – I looked into the events which transpired this past Sunday, and dear, I fully empathise with your plight. Hopefully, John will manage to drive that horrid, horrid man out before he can cause any more physical or psychological damage to our ACW superstars! I mean, first poor darling Raiden Blaze – an absolute cutie who would not harm a fly! – and then Jacqui M? This individual seems to be preying on the defenceless, and I pray this situation will be resolved in timely fashion.
It was, therefore, with the utmost delight that I saw this horrendous Eldritch abomination receive his just dessert at the hands of the other two competitors. Reliable sources backstage have informed me that Jacqui M and Zack Bronko struck a pact of sorts in order to get rid of this Demon – if so, good on them! The match itself was perhaps not the most technically proficient (although Jacqui tried her best, especially in the mental state she must have been in, the poor dear!), but was entertaining enough, with some great moments from all three competitors (yes, that Demon may be a horrible person, but it would be wrong to call him a bad wrestler). The ending reflected VERY badly on darling Claressa King, but then again, what else could we expect from that woman? (Poor Mr. Vycious…I am *so* glad he is free from her web!) Overall, I believe this match’s main problem was its positioning, right between the two best matches on the card. Still a very worthy triple-threat contest, and good on Jacqueline to get her revenge! **1/2 /5.
Next up was arguably the high moment of the night. Hopes were high for the first-ever ACW International Title defence, and none of the two competitors let anyone down! Not only did this match have the highest amount of eye-candy, but both performers were also very skilled, and with bright futures ahead of them! The fact that there had been some bad blood between these two in previous weeks only made it that much more interesting, and everyone was raring for a great match.
And dearie me, was it ever one! At first I was unsure who to root for – Eric was an absolute gentleman to me (unlike Nicky), but Nicky is just so huggable and adorable that one cannot help but be endeared. I therefore decided to be neutral (as befits a good journalist); as time went on, however, I found myself increasingly more and more drawn to the way Nicky simply *would not* quit, to the extent where I was whooping when he finally got that three-count! Technically, however, none of the two dears has anything whatsoever to be embarrassed about – theirs was a high-octane, thrills-and-spills corker of a cruiserweight match, which I personally found to be the best of the night. And you darlings who took my poll seemed to agree! Overall, this match was probably the high point of the night, and I must send out my congratulations to our new International Champion, Nicky Trix – so sorry I got your name wrong last week, darling! ****/5
The hard task of following up the tremendous International matchup fell to the first-ever Tag Team Championship match. Squaring off for the freshly-appointed title were the Bradley Boys, the Lunatic World Order, and RipperCussions, whom I personally interviewed for a profile on this website. Not a lot of eye-candy on this one, I’m afraid (the handsomest man in the ring at that point is, sadly, unwaveringly gay), but it was still a pleasant match to watch. Like with the International, the pace was frantic, and one barely had time to breathe before yet another pin attempt was broken! In the end, Jack and Damon’s outstanding chemistry as a team earned them a very deserved victory, and the title of first ever ACW Tag Team Champions! Congratulations to you both, and Jack…are you sure there is no hope, sweetheart? ***1/2 /5.
After an exciting series of matches, it was finally time for our main event, a Heavyweight title match inside a cage. Now, I know these cages are standard practice in wrestling, but darlings, you *really* shouldn’t be putting your bodies at risk like that! No title belt is worth permanent injuries, my lovelies! But on to the match itself. After the two exciting matches which had preceded it, this one was a touch on the short side. Our Champion, Syn, dominated from start to finish, and asserted exactly why he holds that distinction. The way in which he finished the match – an imprudent but visually stunning dive off the top of the cage – was perhaps *the* standout moment of the night (at an individual level), although I did fear for the poor man’s safety – please write in to tell me you are all right, Syn, darling! And a piece of advice: lose the make-up. It does you no favours whatsoever. ** ½ /5/
There you have it, my dears – my coverage of ACW Riot Act! I had a smashing time watching and covering it, and I hope future Pay-Per-View events only expand on its success! What about you? What are your thoughts, opinions, comments? Leave them in the comments section below, mail me at k-bux@acw.com or follow me on Twitter @KBux. Hate mail is welcome, as always.
For now, ta-ra!
X
K-bux
That is right, my darlings – like you, I was enthralled, fascinated, amazed, riveted. If this is what the ordinary ACW Pay-Per-View looks like, then good gracious! And having been told Overdrive (the previous event) was even so much better, I can only imagine…! I do believe I would have fallen victim to cardiac arrest, had I watched that one!
Where to begin?! There is just so much to talk about! Great matches, dramatic decisions, impactful events – my goodness, it was just a non-stop rollercoaster! I suppose, however, that, as with any proper story, it might be best to start at the beginning. As such, I shall be presenting a breakdown of the matches, in order of occurrence, and stopping here and there to comment on transpired backstage events. Buckle your seatbelts, darlings, because here we go!
The night opened with what would have been a Fatal Four-Way between Andrew Reynolds (someone who seems to have fallen out of favour with management), Sammy Sensation, Michael Black, and my countryman, Solomon White, about whom I had heard many good things. But while there was a decent amount of eye-candy in this match (not the least of which Solomon, who embodies British charm and poise), and while I was curious to see what Sol could do in the ring, I am afraid neither of the four men had a chance to really display their abilities. It all descended into a horrid mess of chairs to the head and cheap shots, no better than you would find outside a pub in the East End in London on a Friday or Saturday night. Quite shameful, really, and not a very good start to our pay-per-view. */ 5.
Fortunately, things only went uphill from then on, and our second match already delivered a decent viewing experience. Aaron Asterisk is a cutie, of course, but while that Kid Krazy may have a horrid sense of fashion (face-paint is *so* 1990’s, darling!), he can definitely hold his own inside a wrestling ring. This was a fast-paced, riveting contest, which had me with my heart in my hands! And while I was happy to see my dear Aaron get the win (a girl is allowed take sides on occasion, dears), I would not have begrudged Kid Krazy a win either. That final stretch was simply breath-taking – I hope Aaron didn’t suffer too much from that brutal Monkey Flip! My goodness! In short, a very good contest, and both men will have reasons to be proud – I predict great things for the two of them in the future. ***/5.
Sadly, the third match once again brought a sour taste to my mouth. I loathe people who mock those with disabilities – shame on you, Brandon! Poor Multiplex (note to self: find out why the poor man is named after a movie-theatre complex) has no control over his disorder! Making fun of him as mean-spiritedly as you did is inexcusable! With that said, this was a decent enough match; nowhere near as exciting as what came before (and after), but both men showed that they have arguments to succeed in this business. Multiplex just needs to get his disorder under control (is he receiving proper support?), and Banks needs only put his attitude in check – being self-confident is excellent, but there have to be limits, dear. **/5
I should stop here and address the little brotherly spat between my dear John and his brother. You boys need to work out your differences, darlings! You are brothers! If you cannot rely on each other, who *will* you rely on? Now, John, I know you have better sense than that, dear – listen to your friend K-Bux!
Apologies for that brief detour, darlings. Just something I needed to get off my chest. Let us move swiftly on to what was another excellent match – the Number One Contendership for the International Title. I knew Abram Vance from my brief stint at the PWA, and I knew what he was capable of, so I was surprised to see him struggling against this Heath Venomous. But then, I was informed that Heath is reportedly a vampire! Oh my goodness! And here I thought vampires were merely creatures of fiction! I wonder if Heath knows Eddie Cullen – if so, dear, would you please set up a meeting? But I digress. Abram *did* win the match in the end, proving just how resourceful he can be. And to be honest, it is not hard to see how someone who was burdened with *that* kind of face would need to sharpen his other skills… But I digress once more. This was an excellent match, with a ‘never-say-die’ attitude from both contenders, and great improvisational work from Abram, who well deserved his win. ***1/2 /5.
Now, at this point, I must confess I swooned – my dear Stevie Starr was on the screen! That man is like a fine wine! It truly *is* a shame that he will not settle down with any woman, because she would be the luckiest girl in the world! Stevie, darling – you still have my number. Call me!
After my honeybunny had introduced his two little friends and sadly departed from my screen, my eyes got to feast on yet another piece of (sadly, taken) eye candy. Zack Bronko is an impressive male specimen, and I found myself praying that he would not hurt Jacqui M too badly. And speaking of the proud representative of my sex, I should also send a word of sympathy out to her – I looked into the events which transpired this past Sunday, and dear, I fully empathise with your plight. Hopefully, John will manage to drive that horrid, horrid man out before he can cause any more physical or psychological damage to our ACW superstars! I mean, first poor darling Raiden Blaze – an absolute cutie who would not harm a fly! – and then Jacqui M? This individual seems to be preying on the defenceless, and I pray this situation will be resolved in timely fashion.
It was, therefore, with the utmost delight that I saw this horrendous Eldritch abomination receive his just dessert at the hands of the other two competitors. Reliable sources backstage have informed me that Jacqui M and Zack Bronko struck a pact of sorts in order to get rid of this Demon – if so, good on them! The match itself was perhaps not the most technically proficient (although Jacqui tried her best, especially in the mental state she must have been in, the poor dear!), but was entertaining enough, with some great moments from all three competitors (yes, that Demon may be a horrible person, but it would be wrong to call him a bad wrestler). The ending reflected VERY badly on darling Claressa King, but then again, what else could we expect from that woman? (Poor Mr. Vycious…I am *so* glad he is free from her web!) Overall, I believe this match’s main problem was its positioning, right between the two best matches on the card. Still a very worthy triple-threat contest, and good on Jacqueline to get her revenge! **1/2 /5.
Next up was arguably the high moment of the night. Hopes were high for the first-ever ACW International Title defence, and none of the two competitors let anyone down! Not only did this match have the highest amount of eye-candy, but both performers were also very skilled, and with bright futures ahead of them! The fact that there had been some bad blood between these two in previous weeks only made it that much more interesting, and everyone was raring for a great match.
And dearie me, was it ever one! At first I was unsure who to root for – Eric was an absolute gentleman to me (unlike Nicky), but Nicky is just so huggable and adorable that one cannot help but be endeared. I therefore decided to be neutral (as befits a good journalist); as time went on, however, I found myself increasingly more and more drawn to the way Nicky simply *would not* quit, to the extent where I was whooping when he finally got that three-count! Technically, however, none of the two dears has anything whatsoever to be embarrassed about – theirs was a high-octane, thrills-and-spills corker of a cruiserweight match, which I personally found to be the best of the night. And you darlings who took my poll seemed to agree! Overall, this match was probably the high point of the night, and I must send out my congratulations to our new International Champion, Nicky Trix – so sorry I got your name wrong last week, darling! ****/5
The hard task of following up the tremendous International matchup fell to the first-ever Tag Team Championship match. Squaring off for the freshly-appointed title were the Bradley Boys, the Lunatic World Order, and RipperCussions, whom I personally interviewed for a profile on this website. Not a lot of eye-candy on this one, I’m afraid (the handsomest man in the ring at that point is, sadly, unwaveringly gay), but it was still a pleasant match to watch. Like with the International, the pace was frantic, and one barely had time to breathe before yet another pin attempt was broken! In the end, Jack and Damon’s outstanding chemistry as a team earned them a very deserved victory, and the title of first ever ACW Tag Team Champions! Congratulations to you both, and Jack…are you sure there is no hope, sweetheart? ***1/2 /5.
After an exciting series of matches, it was finally time for our main event, a Heavyweight title match inside a cage. Now, I know these cages are standard practice in wrestling, but darlings, you *really* shouldn’t be putting your bodies at risk like that! No title belt is worth permanent injuries, my lovelies! But on to the match itself. After the two exciting matches which had preceded it, this one was a touch on the short side. Our Champion, Syn, dominated from start to finish, and asserted exactly why he holds that distinction. The way in which he finished the match – an imprudent but visually stunning dive off the top of the cage – was perhaps *the* standout moment of the night (at an individual level), although I did fear for the poor man’s safety – please write in to tell me you are all right, Syn, darling! And a piece of advice: lose the make-up. It does you no favours whatsoever. ** ½ /5/
There you have it, my dears – my coverage of ACW Riot Act! I had a smashing time watching and covering it, and I hope future Pay-Per-View events only expand on its success! What about you? What are your thoughts, opinions, comments? Leave them in the comments section below, mail me at k-bux@acw.com or follow me on Twitter @KBux. Hate mail is welcome, as always.
For now, ta-ra!
X
K-bux
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