Hello, my darlings!
First of all, I know, I know…you missed your old Auntie Kerry, didn’t you?! My goodness, I thought my Inbox would burst! But I have not abandoned you, my dears – I have just had so much on my plate, that these little articles fell a little to the wayside! I do hope you will forgive me…
As a way to make it up to you, and seeing as we are on the verge of yet another massive ACW event, I have decided to give you my little preview and breakdown of each of the matches at Striking Distance, picking out who I predict to be the winners in each instance. As such, and without further ado, I give you…
KERRY’S OFFICIAL STRIKING DISTANCE PREDICTIONS
Match 1: The Angel v Donnie Trix v Chase DeSanto
Our opening match is a real question mark. Not much is known about either of these men, other than the fact that Donnie Trix is the brother of Nicky Trix, our current International Champion and favourite among the fans. Name recognition alone may not give Donnie the edge over his two unknown competitors, but if his genes are anything to go by, we may have another budding ACW talent on our hands here. With DeSanto not really having shone up to this point, and the Angel being an absolute debutant, I am going to go ahead and give the win to Donnie, just for the fact that I know a little more about him. Hopefully, I will be surprised.
Kerry’s Pick: Donnie Trix
Match 2: Andrew Reynolds v Avalanche v Jay Clemens
Our second match is the sort of contest I frankly dislike. At least two out of these three men seem to be skilled competitors, so why not let them duke it out in a regular match?! This option for violence and bloodshed really does not sit well with me, but oh well, what is one girl to do?!
In terms of our competitors, Avalanche is undoubtedly the most experienced, and he will be very motivated, coming into this one from a win over Multiplex (in another ludicrously gruesome and hard to witness match). However, Jay Clemens has also had a frankly positive debut, and his street upbringing may prove advantageous in this sort of all-out brawl. And Andrew Reynolds, of course, seems to have finally hit his stride, coming into this one on the back of two convincing wins. In the end, I suppose it will come down to who can hit someone else the hardest with a chair or ladder…shame, really. *Sigh*.
Kerry’s Pick: Avalanche (by a smidgen).
Match 3: Jacqui Monroe v The Demon
Jacqui’ Monroe’s “Final Revenge” over the horrid monstrosity known as Demon is the easiest “match” to call. With no stipulations whatsoever to tie her down, and not even a referee to restrict her, the notoriously and righteously furious Ms Monroe should take great pleasure in tearing her opponent limb from limb. I, for one, will be firmly behind our resident female on this one. Here’s hoping the scoundrel’s punishment is long, drawn out, and excruciatingly painful.
Kerry’s Pick: Jacqui Monroe (and let’s hope it’s gruesome!)
Match 4: Dr. Frank Uhrwhich v Multiplex v Toyota Chelios
Oh dear, not another one of these!? Good heavens, what is this company coming to?! I really expected John to have better sense than this…!
*Sigh* Oh well, if we must…
This match will be especially hard to watch, given the fact that each of the contenders involved suffers from some form of mental disorder. Allowing unbalanced individuals to bash each other over the head with weapons – while inside a cage, no less! – hardly seems like the correct way to cure them, John darling! It *is* in somewhat poor taste, isn’t it, when you think about it?
Ah well, I will get off my soapbox and pick a winner, which is what you all want me to do. In this case, however, it is really hard to do so, as all three of these men have spotty track records, at best. Dr. Uhrwhich lost his debut match to Jay Clemens, whereas both Multiplex and poor adorable Toyota Chelios have veered between somewhat convincing wins and equally conclusive defeats. If I absolutely HAD to choose, I would give Multiplex the advantage, based on his impressive size and frightening recklessness. But I do believe you will forgive me for, as they say, ‘copping out’ on this one – now won’t you, dears?
Kerry’s Pick: N/A (and let’s hope it’s not too gruesome…)
Match 5: Starrdom Nation v LWO
Another match where both contestants have spotty track records. I know both teams from the PWA (where Starrdom Nation where the second strongest unit in the Tag division, losing only to RipperCussions themselves), so I am giving the advantage to Robbie and Ray – besides, they are a lovely bit of eye-candy (Robbie is, at least!), even if they are a tad bit silly… However, from the perspective of someone who knows nothing about either of these teams, it is really hard to pick a winner at this point – we have seen precious little from either, apart from run-ins and such!
Kerry’s Pick: Starrdom Nation (but only because I know what they are capable of!)
Match 6: Aaron Asterisk v Brandon Banks v Dave Summers v Stevie Starr
After the horrid choices for matches early on, my darling John McHenry seems to be attempting to apologise with this delightful little bit of fangirl service. The eye-candy deck is quite stacked on this one, and for once I shall have to make an effort to retain my composure and stay professional…
*Fans self*
Right. Disregarding for a moment the amount of female gaze material in the ring (oh, but Aaron’s abs! And Stevie’s smile! And Davey’s stubble!), this is another match that could go either way.
Aaron’s been improving lately, and he’s fresh off a nice little tag win with Nicky Trix (they should have called themselves Team Cutie-Pie!). He had a win stolen from him the week before, by none other than Stevie, so he will be looking to right a few wrongs as well, which may give him added motivation.
Stevie himself will also be looking to get his own back at Brandon and Davey, who beat him down rather brutally this past week (luckily, they kept his gorgeous face mostly intact!). I would advise my darling, however, to not get overly cocky – his actions and statements on Adrenaline 13 sounded a bit too self-assured to me. Eyes on the prize, my dear, eyes on the prize.
Then, there’s Brandon Banks. After missing a show due to being involved in a shooting – how ghastly! – he has returned to pick up a win…with some help from Starrdom Nation, who brutally attacked him. Still, by no means am I trying to take away from the young man’s prowess – he has just as much of a chance as anybody in the match.
And then, there’s Stevie. I must admit he has been letting me down just a smidgen these past few weeks – ‘a little less conversation, a little more action, baby’. But I know what he is capable of, and those boys had better be on the lookout, because I am sure Stevie will be pulling no punches in his quest for that coveted spot as #1 Contender for Trix’s belt. Another one where it is virtually impossible to pick a winner, but, as much as I like my Stevie, I shall give it to Aaron, by a fraction.
Kerry’s Pick: Aaron “Abs”terisk (but it will be SO close!)
ACW Tag Team Championship: RipperCussions v the Bradley Boys
Another rather simple one to call. Not to take away from the Bradleys, but RipperCussions are nothing short of impressive in the way they operate in the ring. They are a well-oiled machine and should be able to retain. Plus, they look like Champions, which is more than can be said for their opponents…
Kerry’s Pick: RipperCussions (by a comfortable margin).
ACW International Championship: Nicky Trix v Abram Vance
Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. I am so divided! Abram Vance is an odious man, of course, but he is more than capable of bringing the game to Nicky Trix, who is a tad bit outmatched in what concerns size and weight. Not that that has ever been a problem for him in the past – one of the good things about Nicky is the way he overcomes his limitations. But Vance is in a very dangerous state of mind, one where he can easily lapse into dangerous recklessness. Should that happen, I can only hope Nicky does not end up too badly hurt.
Nevertheless, I shall still be awarding Nicky the advantage. The lad is one of the most talented pure wrestlers in our company, and he has overcome bigger adversities than this. In fact, it is my firm belief that he is but one lucky break away from the main event scene – although seeing someone as tiny as him with the Heavyweight belt would certainly be incongruous! As it is, I shall be rooting for him, and wish him the best of luck!
Kerry’s Pick: Nicky Trix
ACW World Heavyweight Championship: Syn v Eric Snow v Zack Bronko
Another very hard match to call. I cannot remember the last time that the fight for the title was this close! If I was picking based on eye-candy, I would have to go with Eric Snow (not exactly a tough decision to make), but I’m afraid my darling X-Factor will be woefully mismatched in this contest. He can fly and brawl with the best of them, but he is neither as reckless as Syn nor as big and brutal as Zack Bronko. Unlike either of his opponents, he will have to rely on technique alone, which may not be enough to earn him the strap.
In a similar position is Syn, someone who has willingly put himself under a gruelling schedule with every “week off” he has had. Sources inform me that that may be the case again this week, which is certainly not the most ideal situation to be in during the lead-up to an event where you will have to defend your title. Syn is capable of retaining, but it remains to be seen what sort of physical condition he presents himself in, and whether he can keep the intensity up against these two very capable competitors.
And then there’s Zack Bronko. A mountain of a man, who makes up with size what he lacks in technique. The least technical of the three athletes in this main event, Zack is nevertheless the largest, and one of those size 13 boots to any of the other two wrestler’s heads could signal the end of the match. Plus, my sources tell me he is in an indomitable, reckless state of mind, which in a man of his stature is undoubtedly a hazard. One can only hope his adorable pixie of a wife can somehow soothe him enough to prevent a catastrophe. In the meantime, one must grant the advantage to him.
Kerry’s Pick: Zack Bronko
And there you have it, my dears – my predictions for what promises to be another heart-stopping Pay-Per-View! Am I right? Am I wrong? Am I sexy? (We all know the answer to that one!) Let me know in the comments below, or drop me a line at k-bux@acw.com, as usual. Until then, toodles!
X
K-Bux
First of all, I know, I know…you missed your old Auntie Kerry, didn’t you?! My goodness, I thought my Inbox would burst! But I have not abandoned you, my dears – I have just had so much on my plate, that these little articles fell a little to the wayside! I do hope you will forgive me…
As a way to make it up to you, and seeing as we are on the verge of yet another massive ACW event, I have decided to give you my little preview and breakdown of each of the matches at Striking Distance, picking out who I predict to be the winners in each instance. As such, and without further ado, I give you…
KERRY’S OFFICIAL STRIKING DISTANCE PREDICTIONS
Match 1: The Angel v Donnie Trix v Chase DeSanto
Our opening match is a real question mark. Not much is known about either of these men, other than the fact that Donnie Trix is the brother of Nicky Trix, our current International Champion and favourite among the fans. Name recognition alone may not give Donnie the edge over his two unknown competitors, but if his genes are anything to go by, we may have another budding ACW talent on our hands here. With DeSanto not really having shone up to this point, and the Angel being an absolute debutant, I am going to go ahead and give the win to Donnie, just for the fact that I know a little more about him. Hopefully, I will be surprised.
Kerry’s Pick: Donnie Trix
Match 2: Andrew Reynolds v Avalanche v Jay Clemens
Our second match is the sort of contest I frankly dislike. At least two out of these three men seem to be skilled competitors, so why not let them duke it out in a regular match?! This option for violence and bloodshed really does not sit well with me, but oh well, what is one girl to do?!
In terms of our competitors, Avalanche is undoubtedly the most experienced, and he will be very motivated, coming into this one from a win over Multiplex (in another ludicrously gruesome and hard to witness match). However, Jay Clemens has also had a frankly positive debut, and his street upbringing may prove advantageous in this sort of all-out brawl. And Andrew Reynolds, of course, seems to have finally hit his stride, coming into this one on the back of two convincing wins. In the end, I suppose it will come down to who can hit someone else the hardest with a chair or ladder…shame, really. *Sigh*.
Kerry’s Pick: Avalanche (by a smidgen).
Match 3: Jacqui Monroe v The Demon
Jacqui’ Monroe’s “Final Revenge” over the horrid monstrosity known as Demon is the easiest “match” to call. With no stipulations whatsoever to tie her down, and not even a referee to restrict her, the notoriously and righteously furious Ms Monroe should take great pleasure in tearing her opponent limb from limb. I, for one, will be firmly behind our resident female on this one. Here’s hoping the scoundrel’s punishment is long, drawn out, and excruciatingly painful.
Kerry’s Pick: Jacqui Monroe (and let’s hope it’s gruesome!)
Match 4: Dr. Frank Uhrwhich v Multiplex v Toyota Chelios
Oh dear, not another one of these!? Good heavens, what is this company coming to?! I really expected John to have better sense than this…!
*Sigh* Oh well, if we must…
This match will be especially hard to watch, given the fact that each of the contenders involved suffers from some form of mental disorder. Allowing unbalanced individuals to bash each other over the head with weapons – while inside a cage, no less! – hardly seems like the correct way to cure them, John darling! It *is* in somewhat poor taste, isn’t it, when you think about it?
Ah well, I will get off my soapbox and pick a winner, which is what you all want me to do. In this case, however, it is really hard to do so, as all three of these men have spotty track records, at best. Dr. Uhrwhich lost his debut match to Jay Clemens, whereas both Multiplex and poor adorable Toyota Chelios have veered between somewhat convincing wins and equally conclusive defeats. If I absolutely HAD to choose, I would give Multiplex the advantage, based on his impressive size and frightening recklessness. But I do believe you will forgive me for, as they say, ‘copping out’ on this one – now won’t you, dears?
Kerry’s Pick: N/A (and let’s hope it’s not too gruesome…)
Match 5: Starrdom Nation v LWO
Another match where both contestants have spotty track records. I know both teams from the PWA (where Starrdom Nation where the second strongest unit in the Tag division, losing only to RipperCussions themselves), so I am giving the advantage to Robbie and Ray – besides, they are a lovely bit of eye-candy (Robbie is, at least!), even if they are a tad bit silly… However, from the perspective of someone who knows nothing about either of these teams, it is really hard to pick a winner at this point – we have seen precious little from either, apart from run-ins and such!
Kerry’s Pick: Starrdom Nation (but only because I know what they are capable of!)
Match 6: Aaron Asterisk v Brandon Banks v Dave Summers v Stevie Starr
After the horrid choices for matches early on, my darling John McHenry seems to be attempting to apologise with this delightful little bit of fangirl service. The eye-candy deck is quite stacked on this one, and for once I shall have to make an effort to retain my composure and stay professional…
*Fans self*
Right. Disregarding for a moment the amount of female gaze material in the ring (oh, but Aaron’s abs! And Stevie’s smile! And Davey’s stubble!), this is another match that could go either way.
Aaron’s been improving lately, and he’s fresh off a nice little tag win with Nicky Trix (they should have called themselves Team Cutie-Pie!). He had a win stolen from him the week before, by none other than Stevie, so he will be looking to right a few wrongs as well, which may give him added motivation.
Stevie himself will also be looking to get his own back at Brandon and Davey, who beat him down rather brutally this past week (luckily, they kept his gorgeous face mostly intact!). I would advise my darling, however, to not get overly cocky – his actions and statements on Adrenaline 13 sounded a bit too self-assured to me. Eyes on the prize, my dear, eyes on the prize.
Then, there’s Brandon Banks. After missing a show due to being involved in a shooting – how ghastly! – he has returned to pick up a win…with some help from Starrdom Nation, who brutally attacked him. Still, by no means am I trying to take away from the young man’s prowess – he has just as much of a chance as anybody in the match.
And then, there’s Stevie. I must admit he has been letting me down just a smidgen these past few weeks – ‘a little less conversation, a little more action, baby’. But I know what he is capable of, and those boys had better be on the lookout, because I am sure Stevie will be pulling no punches in his quest for that coveted spot as #1 Contender for Trix’s belt. Another one where it is virtually impossible to pick a winner, but, as much as I like my Stevie, I shall give it to Aaron, by a fraction.
Kerry’s Pick: Aaron “Abs”terisk (but it will be SO close!)
ACW Tag Team Championship: RipperCussions v the Bradley Boys
Another rather simple one to call. Not to take away from the Bradleys, but RipperCussions are nothing short of impressive in the way they operate in the ring. They are a well-oiled machine and should be able to retain. Plus, they look like Champions, which is more than can be said for their opponents…
Kerry’s Pick: RipperCussions (by a comfortable margin).
ACW International Championship: Nicky Trix v Abram Vance
Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. I am so divided! Abram Vance is an odious man, of course, but he is more than capable of bringing the game to Nicky Trix, who is a tad bit outmatched in what concerns size and weight. Not that that has ever been a problem for him in the past – one of the good things about Nicky is the way he overcomes his limitations. But Vance is in a very dangerous state of mind, one where he can easily lapse into dangerous recklessness. Should that happen, I can only hope Nicky does not end up too badly hurt.
Nevertheless, I shall still be awarding Nicky the advantage. The lad is one of the most talented pure wrestlers in our company, and he has overcome bigger adversities than this. In fact, it is my firm belief that he is but one lucky break away from the main event scene – although seeing someone as tiny as him with the Heavyweight belt would certainly be incongruous! As it is, I shall be rooting for him, and wish him the best of luck!
Kerry’s Pick: Nicky Trix
ACW World Heavyweight Championship: Syn v Eric Snow v Zack Bronko
Another very hard match to call. I cannot remember the last time that the fight for the title was this close! If I was picking based on eye-candy, I would have to go with Eric Snow (not exactly a tough decision to make), but I’m afraid my darling X-Factor will be woefully mismatched in this contest. He can fly and brawl with the best of them, but he is neither as reckless as Syn nor as big and brutal as Zack Bronko. Unlike either of his opponents, he will have to rely on technique alone, which may not be enough to earn him the strap.
In a similar position is Syn, someone who has willingly put himself under a gruelling schedule with every “week off” he has had. Sources inform me that that may be the case again this week, which is certainly not the most ideal situation to be in during the lead-up to an event where you will have to defend your title. Syn is capable of retaining, but it remains to be seen what sort of physical condition he presents himself in, and whether he can keep the intensity up against these two very capable competitors.
And then there’s Zack Bronko. A mountain of a man, who makes up with size what he lacks in technique. The least technical of the three athletes in this main event, Zack is nevertheless the largest, and one of those size 13 boots to any of the other two wrestler’s heads could signal the end of the match. Plus, my sources tell me he is in an indomitable, reckless state of mind, which in a man of his stature is undoubtedly a hazard. One can only hope his adorable pixie of a wife can somehow soothe him enough to prevent a catastrophe. In the meantime, one must grant the advantage to him.
Kerry’s Pick: Zack Bronko
And there you have it, my dears – my predictions for what promises to be another heart-stopping Pay-Per-View! Am I right? Am I wrong? Am I sexy? (We all know the answer to that one!) Let me know in the comments below, or drop me a line at k-bux@acw.com, as usual. Until then, toodles!
X
K-Bux
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