How do you cope?

[Rated R Superstar]

How do you cope with death?

A friend of mine just recently died in a car accident. In fact it was last night and it was about 15 minutes away from my house. I didn't know her very well, but we both knew each other. She was a great person and if she just met you, she would treat you as if you'd been friends forever. So how do you cope with something like this? I mean they just reported it on the news and it still hasn't completely registered. It just seems surreal as I never expected it. I know it's cliché to say somebody was a great person and such after they had passed. But she honestly was. From the few times we saw each other, she was very bubbly and wouldn't judge anybody. I'm not going to lie, I'm crying right now. It's just... Surreal.

 

[Kiffy Lube]

If it's someone I truly know I go through a bit of a grieving period but in the World today if you look at all services and who owns them they don't care about the well being of life. They just want your money to control you. You are going to see a lot more people die around you and it's only going to go up as we give up our rights to these people we aren't even supposed to know.

If you think a random acquaintance dying is a big deal, I don't know what you are going to do man when your Family starts dropping like flies.

 

[Rated R Superstar]

Well of course I'm going to be devastated when my family dies. But like I said, we didn't know each other that well. But we have met a few times and she was a very nice girl. And I'm pretty good friends with her best friend, so I may be more upset for her?

 

[Kiffy Lube]

Yeah, man you are entitled to be upset about it, I'm just giving you a heads up.

 

[Rated R Superstar]

I understand that, I just don't like seeing people I know die ya know?

 

[NotReallyaGoodUN]

How do you cope with death?

Over-working/studying.

If you think a random acquaintance dying is a big deal, I don't know what you are going to do man when your Family starts dropping like flies.

^^

Or an actual friend. Think of it like this, and I'm not saying it's true, maybe she's happy. Do you know who Socrates is? One of his quotations had a great impact on me. Death is a night with no dreams. Maybe it's finality is something we should be embracing instead of objecting to.

 

[Embrace Thou Maryse]

Nothing wrong with being hurt to lose a friend or even casual acquaintance, to just ignore it and pass it off as whatever is unhuman. Its always easiest to distract yourself, time is the only thing that will get you through it.

 

[Troy]

No-one can say how you should feel or grieve as everyone deals with death differently. Just do what feels natural for you, if you need time alone take time alone if you need family then go be with your family. Some need to keep busy to stay distracted whilst others prefer to do nothing and just spend the whole time thinking about the person.

It is especially hard when it is something unexpected like this. If it is cancer or another terminal illness you have time to say goodbye whereas with something like this you don't. Just always try to keep those great memories that you have of her

It is always tough to lose someone that you know and I know what you mean about it being surreal. When my dad died it took quite a while to sink in, he was in fine health hours before and then suddenly he was gone. Never got to say goodbye as it just happened so fast.

 

[NotReallyaGoodUN]

Some need to keep busy to stay distracted whilst others prefer to do nothing and just spend the whole time thinking about the person.

Worst idea on the planet.

 

[zigglerHEEL]

Just had a new experience with death a few months ago.... My wife's cousin was murdered by her husband who then also killed himself. I had lost a couple friends before in accidents and 1 died of cancer but dealing with someone's life being taken is a whole different animal.... Still haven't completely come to grips with what happened or I guess more how it could have happened to someone I knew so well... Initially, I googled her name and read every single story I could find on the incident, I checked her facebook page every half hour or so to see what the rest of her friends and family were saying and feeling.... Death is never easy, but it's so much harder when it is unexpected ...

 

[Embrace Thou Maryse]

Worst idea on the planet.

Worst idea on the planet is to tell someone else how too grieve. For some people the good memories can help them get past it.

 

[NotReallyaGoodUN]

I'm not telling him what to do, but dwelling on the hurt just makes past experiences worse, is all, personal experience, just giving my two cents.

 

[Troy]

Worst idea on the planet.

For some people it works and is the best option for them. Obviously if they are suicidal it isn't the best idea for them. For others though they need to spend days/weeks mourning and spend the entire time thinking about this person, it takes time for them but after that they get through it. That is the way that I have seen some people handle a death close to them and it works for them. For me that doesn't work and I would rather keep busy and be distracted from what happened but to each their own.

I'm not telling him what to do, but dwelling on the hurt just makes past experiences worse, is all, personal experience, just giving my two cents.

It doesn't work for me either but I have seen some do that and it works. They go into heavy mourning for days on end but eventually come out of it. They can't just switch off and forget about that person immediately and need to spend the time remembering them. It helps them get over the loss be remembering all they can about the person.

 

[Slim]

While I haven't had to experience much of it myself... I've had a couple friends that had to experience it on a very personal level so in talking with them I've seen that it isn't just forgetting, it isn't trying to busy oneself. Its sorta like... providing encouragement, a sense of peace, and motivation to continue on. Like reminding them how the person they just lost is someone they can live through like do things in their memory. But its like... just providing a sense of comfort and peace while a sense of encouragement... but not saying the usual cliche lies like "Time heals all wounds and all will be better soon." And I don't tell them... they are just an angel now watching over you and blah blah blah. Just have to keep it real and true but in a sense that isn't making it sound like you're just repeating the same stuff that everyone else says but keep it personal.

But then that's what I've done for them. It's shown to help. So yeah I've been the one that helps others to cope.

 

[Rated R Superstar]

This was more or less to discuss how you cope with death. How do some of you guys cope? On the anniversary of a friends birthday we go to his favourite bar and drin and after that we go to the favourite spot that he had to just chill.