Help getting in shape

[NinoBrown]

This whole thing is hilarious.

 

[This Guy]

G1 has a valid point. But I won't make jokes or anything cause the truth is I don't think I could do any better. I'm so out of shape its not even funny. I probably should start doing something. Even if its just walking. I mean I'm 35 years old (in August) and although I ain't huge, I ain't tiny either.

 

[Kaedon]

Take in less calories than you burn. It sounds simple but its hard. Get a journal. Write down how many calories you eat. Get a base line then start cutting like 500 a day.

 

[PeepShow]

Cutting 500 calories a day? You're supposed to eat around 2,000 a day. So in four days, you're supposed to be not eating anything? What a great way to diet.

 

[monkeystyle]

I actually looked at the shit I ate the other day. I take in any where from 5000 -10000 calories a day. No fucking clue how I'm not a whale.

On the plus side. I'm getting my wind, baby.

 

[...god...]

Are you sure about that..? Because I have to eat 4 meals a day including a gallon of whole milk a day to barely get above the 5k mark. And I'm talking SHIT loads of food, it's a chore for me to try to gain/maintain weight, and one of the most frustrating and annoyingly difficult things ever.

 

[monkeystyle]

Well, let's take yesterday for example. Keep in mind I also eat horribly, especially on my days off.

Breakfast: 6 banana chocolate chunk muffins and a litre of orange juice.

Lunch: 2lbs of macaroni and cheese

Afternoon munchies: 2 bags of chocolate covered pretzels

Supper: 2lbs of lasagna

Before bed snack: 1/2 a loaf of garlic bread

Plus, I drank a 2L of pepsi and two big ass bottles of berry smoothie throughout the day.

I seriously don't know what my deal is. I guess my metabolism works at hyper speed or something. I also know my body burns off a lot of energy during sleep. Whenever a girlfriend tries to sleep beside me an cuddle, they're completely unable to because I produce so much heat while I sleep. Like enough that I sleep with the windows wide open during the winter and I don't get cold.

Probably something I should look into.

 

[PeepShow]

:lmmmao: :lmmmao: :lmmmao:

 

[monkeystyle]

You laugh, but you wouldn't if you saw my grocery bills.

 

[Italian Outsider]

Well, let's take yesterday for example. Keep in mind I also eat horribly, especially on my days off.

Breakfast: 6 banana chocolate chunk muffins and a litre of orange juice.

Lunch: 2lbs of macaroni and cheese

Afternoon munchies: 2 bags of chocolate covered pretzels

Supper: 2lbs of lasagna

Before bed snack: 1/2 a loaf of garlic bread

Plus, I drank a 2L of pepsi and two big ass bottles of berry smoothie throughout the day.

I seriously don't know what my deal is. I guess my metabolism works at hyper speed or something. I also know my body burns off a lot of energy during sleep. Whenever a girlfriend tries to sleep beside me an cuddle, they're completely unable to because I produce so much heat while I sleep. Like enough that I sleep with the windows wide open during the winter and I don't get cold.

Probably something I should look into.

How long have you been eating like this?
Honestly, you are lucky you are tall, otherwise you'd be a fat slob.

 

[monkeystyle]

Pretty much all my life.

I'm always hungry though. Like, constantly. And that list doesn't even cover my water intake.

I seriously think something might be wrong with me, but I like to eat.

 

[...god...]

ROFL!!!!!! Don't you work as a chef too? What's your job?

 

[monkeystyle]

Yup, which makes it kind of worse because I sit there and eat all day long. Fucked something up? I'm not going to throw it out, I'll eat it.

I think what I really need to worry about most is my impending massive coronary.

 

[monkeystyle]

Being a chef is also why I buy mad processed and packaged stuff on my days off. I'm just too fucking lazy.

 

[...god...]

I think the only healthy thing in your diet is the orange juice and maybe the berry smoothie. What happened to the captain crunch and milk? I remember you made me crave it one time and I went out and bought a shit load of captain crunch.