FWA 'The 18th Anniversary Show' || Card & Discussion Thread.

  • Welcome to "The New" Wrestling Smarks Forum!

    I see that you are not currently registered on our forum. It only takes a second, and you can even login with your Facebook! If you would like to register now, pease click here: Register

    Once registered please introduce yourself in our introduction thread which can be found here: Introduction Board


SupineSnake

FREE PALESTINE
Joined
Sep 13, 2022
Messages
665
Reaction score
844
Points
93
Age
34
the FANTASY WRESTLING ALLIANCE
proudly presents
dHt1BzF.png


Live from the Kensington Oval in Bridgetown, Barbados.
Sunday 3rd September, 2023.

279782.jpg


Only on the WCNetwork.

anniversaryshowdivider.jpg


FIRST MATCH | 1/30.
Aka Manto [Aka Yurei and Keiko Hirabayashi] vs. Cyrus Truth and Konchu Hao.
Tag Team Match.
Match writer: Man.

The anniversary show will kick off with this tag team match-up, featuring Aka Yurei and Keiko Hirabayashi, who have twice came close to dethroning current champions since Back in Business. On both occasions, though, Aka Manto came up short, with Chris Peacock and Alyster Black of FTN retaining their belts, with Yurei and Hirabayashi hoping for a much-needed boost in momentum heading towards Lights Out. Their opposition, though, is made up of Konchu Hao and Cyrus Truth, the latter of which has also clashed with one half of the champions repeatedly since the Grand March. Truth was unsuccessful in his challenge of Chris Peacock's FWA World Championship in the main event of Back in Business, and has enlisted the help of an old friend, perhaps in a continuation of his quest to take some gold from around Peacock's waist.

anniversaryshowdivider.jpg


SECOND MATCH | 1/20.
Sawyer Xavier vs. Simon Smythe.
Singles Match.
Match writer: SS.

Sawyer Xavier returned to FWA screens on Meltdown XXXII, where he was unsuccessful in his attempt to overcome Trixie Bordeaux in singles competition. Xavier did, however, impress during that fifteen minute match, often taking the FWA Trios Champion to her limit and showing patches of the potential displayed throughout his FWA runs. He has an immediate chance for redemption as he takes on the debuting Simon Smythe, the surgeon having signed his own contract with the Fantasy Wrestling Alliance only a month before this show is due to take place.

anniversaryshowdivider.jpg


THIRD MATCH | 1/20.
El Vengador vs. Al Blizzard vs. Kleio De Santos.
Triple Threat Match - winner qualifies for the TV Championship match at Lights Out.
Match writer: Dubb.

On Meltdown XXXII in Havana, Cuba, we saw three different wrestlers march on the office of Jon Russnow and demand to be booked as part of the 18th Anniversary Show. Those three wrestlers were Kleio De Santos, El Vengador, and Al Blizzard, and although Russnow was initially elusive in Havana, he announced that these three would face off against one another at the Barbados supershow. To add some flavour to the mix, Russnow also announced that the winner of this match would compete for the FWA Television Championship at Lights Out in Kinshasa, a belt currently vacant after the retirement of former champion Shawn Summers.

anniversaryshowdivider.jpg


FOURTH MATCH | 1/20.
YOKAI Death Squad [Katsu, Ririko, and Cali Hayama] vs. The Menage [Christian Howard, Wild Jerry, and Sierra].
Trios Match - Eliminator Tournament semi-final.
Match writer: SS.

The FWA Trios Eliminator Tournament got underway last week on Meltdown XXXII and Fallout 032, with the YOKAI Death Squad triumphing over the Bad Boys Boy Band in Havana and the Ménage defeating Triple J Security in Jamaica. Now, those two teams will face off in the semi-final stage at the Anniversary Show. Both went close to victory in the recent battle royale at Back in Business, but were eventually outlasted by Trixie Bordeaux of the Coven. YDS and the Ménage will be hoping for a shot at that particular trio in Kinshasa, with the prize for winning this tournament being a shot at those trios titles at Light Out.

MOD NOTE: there is a 3000 word limit on promos in this match. This includes all words posted as part of the promo (including images), or all words included in your PDF submission.

anniversaryshowdivider.jpg


FIFTH MATCH | 1/20.
Chris Crowe vs. Trixie Bordeaux.
Singles Match.
Match writer: Dubb.

Chris Crowe made his surprise return to the FWA at Back in Business, realigning with Tommy Bedlam in a partial reunion of Deathswitch Initiative. This tandem managed to overcome Celestia and Blair Ravenwood of the Coven, and now Crowe will return to singles action against the third member of the current FWA Trios Champions in Bellatrix Bordeaux. Trixie has had a spate of victories as of late, including on Meltdown XXXII against Sawyer Xavier, and will hope to continue that good fortune in Bridgetown at the Showman's expense.

anniversaryshowdivider.jpg


SIXTH MATCH | 1/20.
The Undisputed Xperienx [Jackson Fenix, Nate Savage, and Xperienx Xtacee] vs. The Lumberjacks [Doug LuPone, Dan LuPone, and Lucy LuPone].
Trios Match - Eliminator Tournament semi-final.
Match writer: Jimmy.

As part of the Trios Eliminator Tournament, the Undisputed Xperienx saw off the challenge of debuting LCW threesome Midnight Train on Fallout 032, whilst two days earlier on Meltdown XXXII the Lumberjacks ensure their own progress with victory over PONI-BOI. That sets up this semi final match, with both teams looking to book their place in XXXIII's final. The Undisputed Xperienx went closer to victory in Back in Business' battle royale, but the LuPone siblings will hope to cause an upset here in Barbados. A chance to challenge the Coven for the Trios Championships at Lights Out awaits the tournament's eventual winners.

MOD NOTE: there is a 3000 word limit on promos in this match. This includes all words posted as part of the promo (including images), or all words included in your PDF submission.


anniversaryshowdivider.jpg


SEVENTH MATCH | 1/60.
Tommy Bedlam [c] vs. XYZ.
X Rules Match for the FWA X Championship.
Match writer: Tommy.

Tommy Bedlam defeated Shawn Summers 2-1 in Mexico City's Three Stages of Hell match, and for his victory in the second fall he became the new holder of the illustrious FWA X Championship. Meanwhile, XYZ was busy in constant conflict with Death Walker, surviving the battle at Back in Business and then overcoming Walker inside a steel cage on Meltdown XXXII. This didn't stop XYZ from finding time to lay down this challenge to the Cowboy, which Bedlam promptly accepted, the match made official before Back in Business' second night was even off the air. The Cowboy had a front row view of XYZ's victory in the cage on XXXII, and the two traded words on 032 in Jamaica, setting up this anything goes encounter on the Anniversary Show.

anniversaryshowdivider.jpg


EIGHTH MATCH | 1/20.
Blake Taylor vs. Jack the Clipper vs. Madison Gray.
Triple Threat Match - winner qualifies for the TV Championship match at Lights Out.
Match writer: Jimmy.

Following Jack the Clipper's victory over Derrick Hunter in his debut match at Fallout 032, we saw a verbal back-and-forth between him, the returning Madison Gray, and the debuting Blake Taylor. It seemed clear from this interaction that all three relished the chance to get their hands on one another, and Jon Russnow didn't take long in making this triple threat match official. In addition to settling the barbs thrown on Fallout's post-match diatribe, the three also have the opportunity to challenge for the vacant FWA Television Championship at Lights Out, should they triumph in this three-way in Barbados.

anniversaryshowdivider.jpg


NINTH MATCH | MAIN EVENT | 5/-.
Chris Peacock [c] vs. Alyster Black vs. Katsu vs. Reagan Cole vs. Death Walker vs. Jackson Fenix.
Steel Roulette Match for the FWA World Championship.
Match writer: Man.

Over the course of its history, the Steel Roulette match - where six people enter a chamber and only one emerges as victor - has been used to decide the owner of the Golden Opportunity briefcase for the next year. Usually, those finishing between second and seventh in the Spring's Carnal Contendership would earn their spot in the chamber, and that appeared to be the case this year, too. That was until the injuries sustained by weaselperson in his match against Alyster Black in Mexico City. weaselperson was the first runner up in the Carnal Contendership, and his sudden absence had many asking who would take his place in the chamber. This question was answered by Chris Peacock, who announced on Meltdown XXXII that he himself - as the FWA World Champion - would take weaselperson's place in the Steel Roulette match… and put his belt on the line, too.

The Golden Opportunity match already constituted the biggest, ahem, opportunity in the FWA careers of Reagan Cole, Death Walker, Jackson Fenix, and Katsu, offering them the chance to catapult themselves into the main event scene. Now, it has a very different complexion for this quartet, who now find themselves challenging for the most prestigious prize in professional wrestling in the main event of the 18th Anniversary Show. Meanwhile, Chris Peacock - who is incidentally also looking to win his second consecutive annual Steel Roulette match - will also have to deal with the challenge of his tag team partner (and the other half of the FWA World Tag Team Champions) in Alyster Black. Tensions were stirred at Back in Business, particularly when Black Jesus seemingly prioritized the tag titles over his partner's wellbeing. It will be interesting to see if their apparent truce will sustain throughout this barbaric match-up.

anniversaryshowdivider.jpg


PLUS!

The FWA Hall of Fame Ceremony, 2023.
Live from the Sandpiper Hotel in Holetown, Barbados. Saturday 2nd September.
Only on the WCNetwork.

The "Class of '23":
Nova Diamond.
Gabrielle Montgomery.
Randy Ramon.

*****

Promo Deadlines:

Sunday 27th August, 23:59 Pacific Time.
Monday 28th August, 03:00AM Eastern.
Monday 28th August, 08:00AM UK.
Monday 28th August, 17:00PM Melbourne.

No extensions. Good luck!
 
Last edited:

Rosie

Neo Genesis
Joined
Apr 16, 2016
Messages
45,362
Reaction score
20,750
Points
128
Location
New Brunswick, Canada
Favorite Wrestler
9yQJpez
Favorite Wrestler
edge
Favorite Wrestler
dJvrW4y
Favorite Wrestler
kevinsteen
Favorite Wrestler
Se3BZPQ
Favorite Wrestler
q9gbHdQ
Favorite Sports Team
2DciFqq
Favorite Sports Team
OQcgyMS
Favorite Sports Team
coloradoavalanche
Favorite Sports Team
vCLYUUD
Thr real Golden Opportunity was the friends we made along the way.

Good luck, sick show logo!
 

Jimmy King

It’s Britney, bitch
Joined
Dec 12, 2010
Messages
18,742
Reaction score
14,267
Points
118
Age
38
Location
Slam Diego
Favorite Wrestler
oAYiXZo
Favorite Wrestler
eAVr0ua
Favorite Wrestler
johncena
Favorite Wrestler
DjUmJN2
Favorite Wrestler
nock3cf
Favorite Wrestler
eIHNFff
Favorite Sports Team
padres
Favorite Sports Team
5FIj30E
That’s a slick logo, shout out to whoever did that, ace work.

Good luck to my fellow chamber participants!
 

SupineSnake

FREE PALESTINE
Joined
Sep 13, 2022
Messages
665
Reaction score
844
Points
93
Age
34
if anyone fancies writing their own match, that sort of thing is always appreciated on these larger cards x

also credit goes to cbk on the logo
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Rosie

Rosie

Neo Genesis
Joined
Apr 16, 2016
Messages
45,362
Reaction score
20,750
Points
128
Location
New Brunswick, Canada
Favorite Wrestler
9yQJpez
Favorite Wrestler
edge
Favorite Wrestler
dJvrW4y
Favorite Wrestler
kevinsteen
Favorite Wrestler
Se3BZPQ
Favorite Wrestler
q9gbHdQ
Favorite Sports Team
2DciFqq
Favorite Sports Team
OQcgyMS
Favorite Sports Team
coloradoavalanche
Favorite Sports Team
vCLYUUD
I'll start with some promo reviews/reactions. I think I'll go for a few newer peeps, then after I'll go with a few which stood out for me. I won't do the main event, but I'll at least state I read all of the promos (apart from Gip's which was DM'ed due to him being lost in London) and that I genuinely like all of them.

Madison Gray: @Vinegar

While you still have room to grow, I'm starting to see you get some actual flow in your writing and you're starting to flesh out Madison a bit more. Explaining her time away a bit, Sydney as a side character can lead to potentially great directions with growth. The end also establishes her as a babyface. "Fight for the fans" etc. The dialogue also is starting to improve. I think your first promo I wasn't 100% sure what to make of Madison with her saying something like "This is a shoot!" in her first promo. Then the cheeky growl at the end, sort of shows some playfulness which I like. I think something which took me back slightly is the format shift from

Name
Speech

To

Name: speech

I think both are fine and some promos you may format it slightly differently depending on what is required. Example, my singles promo, for having more characters I did the name: "speech" thing and in my trios promo, with it being smaller, I didn't need to. But I think for a promo to have it consistent throughout the promo is a good thing, but that is a nitpick/pet peeve. I think the rest will likely come as you write more with her, get more comfortable in a flow with her, and then learn to expand your ideas. So improvement is noted already.

Blake Taylor: @THEDEVILHIMSELF

I think some of the trash talk in this promo was nice. I definitely get that Blake has a chip on his shoulder and a bit of a mean-streak, a sense that "I did all this in my sports beforehand, so this is nothing." Like a dismissive attitude to wrestling how "I don't need to change anything up. This is nothing compared to what I did before." We also do get a hint into his life before MMA and wrestling, Him acting extravagant, craving money and such because he didn't have it as a kid, and, once again, that chip on his shoulder "I earned this."

But where to improve. First I do think grammar needs to be touched up. Some lines like "I got woman to do" does take me out of it a touch. One woman? What's her name? Or do you mean "women" as in he's a guy who's a macho guy who loves to get with his freaks like Scott Steiner. We all aren't linguistic scholars but going through a spell check and touching these things up, maybe reading it out loud as you're writing to make sure it sounds right is a good start.

Second, I do think the setting is rather basic. In some ways I do think it works a bit for him being this multi-sport athlete to have a press-conference, answer some questions, but that usually doesn't score well on its own unless you have other things with it to make it pop. I'm not saying you need some dramatic multi-scene set-piece with magic and wizards and dragons, but some expansion helps. Even some more gritty reality based promos can do well. I think a couple strong examples I can point to are from Back in Business. The two main events had some promos which had some sense of grounded-ness. Krash created an amazing story of Krash being weak physically, us learning through his actions/reactions and scene how he is mentally. Jeremy Best had some flashbacks and some dreams to incorporate his relationship with his idol, Krash, but the end was this eulogy which was really powerful which tied everything together and in the end, both were promo of the year contenders.

Then another good promo even if it is in a loss was Cyrus Truth's promo for the main event. He sort of stripped it back and focused on a strong monologue with a great flow, emotion, and powerful message, throwing in some imagery to add to his points. Even something a bit less intimidating of an example from him but still really solid was his promo this show where him and Konchu were walking through a graveyard, looking at tag teams of past and present, wondering what their goal was for the future as a tag team now.

I do think the basic idea of the character, this guy walking into wrestling from MMA, cocky, thinks he's above it all is a good base for a character and you're likely coming off with rust, but I hope some of this maybe gives you ideas to build on. As you get involved in matches, segments, etc, you maybe can use those results and events to tell a story with him.

Jack the Clipper: @AON

I don't think I need to do some grand feedback for you since you've been through all of this. But I'll say, this exceeded my expectations a bit as I expected just "Let's be silly with an evil barber" and was expecting Issac Yankam. The promo starting with him stating his name and his story, gives a good insight into his backstory. Then his rant was almost psychotic, controlled, and in some ways chilling. Then the repetition of "Wrong place, wrong time" sort of to hammer home a message. Nothing personal, just... wrong place... wrong time.

I'd do more, but my brother's cat is meowing and bitching and I can't let him out because, you know, my brother keeps two cats who need to be kept separate to prevent Ultimate Fighting Cats from breaking out. So after.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: SupineSnake

Sully

Isn't that a daisy?
Joined
Sep 13, 2022
Messages
415
Reaction score
383
Points
83
Age
28
Location
Pittsburgh, PA
Alyster Black:

The Seven Deadly Sins theme is a favorite of mine. That was the backdrop of my promo that got me into my first World Title match, so it's a good choice here to win you the world title. I did similar where I assigned every sin to a different opponent. The difference was I think Sully ended up being all the sins in the end, where as Alyster took up Greed (I think I assigned greed to Cyrus Truth). So I like the take of Alyster basically saying, yeah I'm greedy and I want it all and I don't care. Some parts of this seemed to go too quick and felt rushed, but overall I think the Krash dialog parts are the real meat of this promo. Krash calling Alyster out for not saving him hit hard. I don't know if there's a deeper character dynamic that's more layered than Krash/Alyster Black. It definitely is carrying this promo.
 

THEDEVILHIMSELF

Better Than You and You Know It
Joined
Aug 2, 2023
Messages
221
Reaction score
104
Points
43
Age
34
Location
St Louis Mo
I'll start with some promo reviews/reactions. I think I'll go for a few newer peeps, then after I'll go with a few which stood out for me. I won't do the main event, but I'll at least state I read all of the promos (apart from Gip's which was DM'ed due to him being lost in London) and that I genuinely like all of them.

Madison Gray: @Vinegar

While you still have room to grow, I'm starting to see you get some actual flow in your writing and you're starting to flesh out Madison a bit more. Explaining her time away a bit, Sydney as a side character can lead to potentially great directions with growth. The end also establishes her as a babyface. "Fight for the fans" etc. The dialogue also is starting to improve. I think your first promo I wasn't 100% sure what to make of Madison with her saying something like "This is a shoot!" in her first promo. Then the cheeky growl at the end, sort of shows some playfulness which I like. I think something which took me back slightly is the format shift from

Name
Speech

To

Name: speech

I think both are fine and some promos you may format it slightly differently depending on what is required. Example, my singles promo, for having more characters I did the name: "speech" thing and in my trios promo, with it being smaller, I didn't need to. But I think for a promo to have it consistent throughout the promo is a good thing, but that is a nitpick/pet peeve. I think the rest will likely come as you write more with her, get more comfortable in a flow with her, and then learn to expand your ideas. So improvement is noted already.

Blake Taylor: @THEDEVILHIMSELF

I think some of the trash talk in this promo was nice. I definitely get that Blake has a chip on his shoulder and a bit of a mean-streak, a sense that "I did all this in my sports beforehand, so this is nothing." Like a dismissive attitude to wrestling how "I don't need to change anything up. This is nothing compared to what I did before." We also do get a hint into his life before MMA and wrestling, Him acting extravagant, craving money and such because he didn't have it as a kid, and, once again, that chip on his shoulder "I earned this."

But where to improve. First I do think grammar needs to be touched up. Some lines like "I got woman to do" does take me out of it a touch. One woman? What's her name? Or do you mean "women" as in he's a guy who's a macho guy who loves to get with his freaks like Scott Steiner. We all aren't linguistic scholars but going through a spell check and touching these things up, maybe reading it out loud as you're writing to make sure it sounds right is a good start.

Second, I do think the setting is rather basic. In some ways I do think it works a bit for him being this multi-sport athlete to have a press-conference, answer some questions, but that usually doesn't score well on its own unless you have other things with it to make it pop. I'm not saying you need some dramatic multi-scene set-piece with magic and wizards and dragons, but some expansion helps. Even some more gritty reality based promos can do well. I think a couple strong examples I can point to are from Back in Business. The two main events had some promos which had some sense of grounded-ness. Krash created an amazing story of Krash being weak physically, us learning through his actions/reactions and scene how he is mentally. Jeremy Best had some flashbacks and some dreams to incorporate his relationship with his idol, Krash, but the end was this eulogy which was really powerful which tied everything together and in the end, both were promo of the year contenders.

Then another good promo even if it is in a loss was Cyrus Truth's promo for the main event. He sort of stripped it back and focused on a strong monologue with a great flow, emotion, and powerful message, throwing in some imagery to add to his points. Even something a bit less intimidating of an example from him but still really solid was his promo this show where him and Konchu were walking through a graveyard, looking at tag teams of past and present, wondering what their goal was for the future as a tag team now.

I do think the basic idea of the character, this guy walking into wrestling from MMA, cocky, thinks he's above it all is a good base for a character and you're likely coming off with rust, but I hope some of this maybe gives you ideas to build on. As you get involved in matches, segments, etc, you maybe can use those results and events to tell a story with him.

Jack the Clipper: @AON

I don't think I need to do some grand feedback for you since you've been through all of this. But I'll say, this exceeded my expectations a bit as I expected just "Let's be silly with an evil barber" and was expecting Issac Yankam. The promo starting with him stating his name and his story, gives a good insight into his backstory. Then his rant was almost psychotic, controlled, and in some ways chilling. Then the repetition of "Wrong place, wrong time" sort of to hammer home a message. Nothing personal, just... wrong place... wrong time.

I'd do more, but my brother's cat is meowing and bitching and I can't let him out because, you know, my brother keeps two cats who need to be kept separate to prevent Ultimate Fighting Cats from breaking out. So after.
Thank you so much for the constructive critisim, Im a bit rusty as its been nearly 10 years since Ive done this but I really enjoy it and love the aspect of it all, once I get the rust off it should get better thank you so much
 
  • Like
Reactions: Rosie

Rosie

Neo Genesis
Joined
Apr 16, 2016
Messages
45,362
Reaction score
20,750
Points
128
Location
New Brunswick, Canada
Favorite Wrestler
9yQJpez
Favorite Wrestler
edge
Favorite Wrestler
dJvrW4y
Favorite Wrestler
kevinsteen
Favorite Wrestler
Se3BZPQ
Favorite Wrestler
q9gbHdQ
Favorite Sports Team
2DciFqq
Favorite Sports Team
OQcgyMS
Favorite Sports Team
coloradoavalanche
Favorite Sports Team
vCLYUUD
Thank you so much for the constructive critisim, Im a bit rusty as its been nearly 10 years since Ive done this but I really enjoy it and love the aspect of it all, once I get the rust off it should get better thank you so much

Hey, we try to help each other. There's not one way to do a promo, and we all have our perspectives, but in the end if we have fun and improve, that's a big part of it. :)
 

Rosie

Neo Genesis
Joined
Apr 16, 2016
Messages
45,362
Reaction score
20,750
Points
128
Location
New Brunswick, Canada
Favorite Wrestler
9yQJpez
Favorite Wrestler
edge
Favorite Wrestler
dJvrW4y
Favorite Wrestler
kevinsteen
Favorite Wrestler
Se3BZPQ
Favorite Wrestler
q9gbHdQ
Favorite Sports Team
2DciFqq
Favorite Sports Team
OQcgyMS
Favorite Sports Team
coloradoavalanche
Favorite Sports Team
vCLYUUD
Here's my follow up which I call "People who had promos which made me either lose it in madness or wow'ed me away" *Ignoring opponents.

@Tommy Bedlam

First of all, when I read the title I was like "Dear God, is this a Batman parody?" And low and behold it was. As soon as I read that BatTom replaced the batmobile with a BatTruck, I instantly lost it. This is something a bit out of your typical wheel house, but one which just worked and the casting choice of XYZ as the Riddler was a great choice. Very good when it came to small witty dialogue as well with Tommy trying to solve each riddle, it reminded me why, of all of the Superheroes of DC, Batman is probably my favourite. Regardless what happens with your match result, you came out swinging. with the Bat-Bat (A baseball bat with a bat logo on it).

@AON



That's all.

@Cyrus Truth

I acknowledged this a bit when giving an example of how to keep a hint grounded but still try to do some things creatively with setting and imagery, but I definitely enjoyed this. The graveyard setting is far from the most "unique" setting in e-fed or wrestling history, but its use here was clever, this new tag team walking through the graves of past and current tag teams who failed, along the path they are walking together now. It's a shame Grim was unable to promo against you since he was on a roll and it would have been a fun match in terms of comparing this to what he would do, but back to back tag title losses, a rough week of some beloved icons in wrestling passing, among whatever personal stuff going (and AMA too actually posting a show and having promos) it is understandable that he may not be feeling up to writing a promo of his normal quality.

@Sully

Creative idea with channel surfing, I nearly pissed myself laughing at the Gordan Ramsey insults. This genuinely stood out to me a lot with the concept and subject matter. Each section in your way was putting your case for the TV title. Then the ending with her returning to early Fallout, great for character development. I do think, individually, some of the individual channels could have been full fledged promos so you might have lost a proverbial "bullet" or two there, but otherwise this may put you as the favourite for the TV title.

Those are four I have something off the top of my head for. Some I think I can say more about with a second reading. :)
 
Last edited:

SupineSnake

FREE PALESTINE
Joined
Sep 13, 2022
Messages
665
Reaction score
844
Points
93
Age
34
Some quick rambling thoughts on the main event promos. Not proofing so this I imagine is a mess.

Think three of the promos here had prominent list components to them, but amongst these three this opponent-register element took up differing positions and proportions of the structure. The Chris Peacock promo probably made most significant use of this device, with going through each of the opponents in turn - albeit in a super creative way, with the champion visiting some of the past memorable locations we’ve seen him in (will speak more about this later) - taking up essentially the entirety of the promo. Think the structure you chose here definitely felt fragmented and episodic, only tied together by common themes and a vague narrative thread. Sort of felt a little like an anthology, which doesn’t have to be a bad thing. I guess a promo like this will struggle to escape inconsistency in terms of quality and quantity in the sections, especially considering the circumstances of its writing, although it is true that the heights here are amongst some of your best stuff. Particularly enjoyed the closing sections, which - although brief - were ominous and brooding and almost Cyrus-esque in their construction.

The Katsu promo also felt like it relied on this list dynamic to a certain extent, with the first maybe three-quarters of the promo a series of conversation between Katsu and stand-ins for her forthcoming opponents. Again, I think there’s inconsistencies in quality between these conversations, especially in terms of the believability of your characterisations of the other contenders. I think you had more success, for instance, with Fenix, the Dark Guardian, and (maybe to a lesser extent) Cole than you did with the FTN boys. With that said, although I thought the Peacock dialogue read as unnatural for that character I did think the points you were making with that section were good and probably made up for it. Like in the Peacock promo, the listing structure of the promo does in some ways remove some of the dramatic potential from the story, in that we are sort of locked into a structure. After reading two conversations between Katsu and her fellow inmates, or two visits by Peacock to alternate realities, I know how the rest of the promo is going to look and what to expect from much of the rest of it. There’s merit in each section individually, though, and I thought the best section of the promo came at the end of it, where you subverted my expectation of seeing the fight with a lengthy dialogue involving all of the introduced inmates, which was probably the most interesting interlude in the roleplay for me.

Alyster had something of a list element in his promo, with the seven sins sections and the letters (or thoughts expressed maybe) to the six opponents (loved the Cole one particularly). I think this roleplay, out of the three I’ve spoken about so far did the most to escape the structural pitfalls of taking this approach by the threading of a more linear interlude of events that were separate to (almost superceding) the ‘list’. The seven sins sections were used more to break up the separate dialogues that Black engages in and to tie together some of the themes of the promo, whilst also providing opponent focus and fed-related character focus. There was a lot of that here, with character portrayal being typically strong. I enjoyed the focus on the relationship between Black and Krash and some of the other figures with more long-term attachments to Alyster. Highlighting Black’s newer relationship with Chris Peacock through dialogues with these more permanent fixtures in his life was interesting. I thought in many ways the central thrust of this promo was Black’s toxicity and his inability to sustain meaningful, healthy relationships, which was very pertinent considering the dynamic between him and Peacock going into the match.

Cole, Fenix, and Walker all escaped this list approach for the most part, and I think Reagan and Jackson in particular chose to focus on their own character development as opposed to opponent focus. This is a perfectly valid approach and one that many (myself included) have had success with in the past. The Fenix promo focused on the recent character progression we’ve seen from Fenix, with Jackson showing more sympathetic qualities in recent weeks in an arc that I’ve been really enjoying. Here we see him confronted, quite literally, by the past and a version of himself that he’s trying to leave behind. I think the device you used can maybe be looked at as something of a trope, especially within recent times in the FWA. It brought to mind the arc with Shawn Summers and his own internal demons, and some of the climactic sections reminded me of Cyrus Truth’s Carnal Contendership winning promos. That being said, I think the interactions between Jackson-Present and Jackson-Past were very strong, showed great character work (in both the progression and the development categories), and overcame the fact that the device itself has been used before. Some of these mono-/dialogues brought to mind the Gollum-Smeagol dynamic in Lord of the Rings. I’m not sure if that was a deliberate influence but as a Tolkien mark I loved it either way.

The Reagan Cole promo also featured some good character portrayal work away from the immediate context of the upcoming Steel Roulette match, with Cole saving a runt from some malicious older bullies. Thought this reinforced some of the key components of Cole’s character as we’ve seen him in the FWA. Parts of this promo felt fitting in a bookend (maybe a pause rather than an end) sort of way, with reflections on who Cole is as a person and how far he’s come in his career. I liked the links to Reagan’s (ancient) history with Death Walker/Darius Wright in a world championship match in another promotion, something which was also brought up in DW’s promo and gave Cole’s position in this match more gravitas and significance. It felt like the fragments of a very weighty promo, but I’d definitely liked to have seen you flesh out some of the points that you made (or began to make) in more detail. I think it’s fair to say that you had a lot more planned but understandable circumstances reduced the scope of what you could do, which is a shame, because you can see that there’s elements in this promo that would’ve been great had you the time to see out the vision properly. Think this is unfortunately more acutely noticeable in comparison to the Peacock roleplay, which also suffers in this regard to a certain extent.

With Death Walker, I felt there was an excellent balance struck between focus on your own character, his history and his present and his future, and reflections on your opponents in the match itself. I think this was only matched really by the Alyster Black promo in terms of balance between those two aspects of the grading rubric, with the other four promos choosing to tilt the Of course, something immediately noticeable in this promo is the similarity in setting between Katsu’s roleplay and Walker’s, with both of them set inside a prison, with both surrounded by stand-ins (more direct ones in the case of Katsu) for the other Steel Roulette competitors. Comparisons between the two promos, and particularly the settings thereof, therefore feel quite natural to make. Despite this initial similarity, it’s obvious that they are in very different facilities. Death Walker’s prison is, at times, that of the mind, something that comes through often whilst reading this roleplay. And, fittingly, the prison that he finds himself seems like one of a dystopian dictatorship, whilst the Katsu gym feels certainly less gritty (to elaborate on this: discussions on Cali’s internment resulting from her playing Pokemon, and a prison gym with a fair bit of cardio equipment like treadmills and exercise bikes, were a little jarring and made this environment feel less ‘real’, maybe deliberately so, than Walker’s). I also think that the ruminations on self in the two promos were approached very differently. For Katsu, this was achieved through dialogues with the rest of the Death Squad, which is something that we’ve seen before albeit in a different setting. With Death, the structure of the opening sections, the introduction of the Doctor, and the interactions with Whispers gave an overall more enigmatic, unique feel to how the story was told and the prison was presented.

The respective climactic sequences of these roleplays are also comparable, in that both Katsu and Death end up fighting, albeit with different motivations and consequences, with the other five in this match. I preferred Katsu’s approach here, with dialogue revealing a lot about the dynamics at play and, mostly, about her perceptions of the people she’s entering the chamber with. Although the action sequence at the end of Death’s promo was entertaining and fun to read, I’m ultimately more interested in his thoughts and what those actions mean. An argument can be made that this was adequately achieved in the Death Walker promo in the lead up to this fight section, and I guess it was, but I think this lengthy section was more conclusive but ultimately less satisfying than the open-ended culmination in the Katsu roleplay.

From a creativity perspective, I think the most immediately unique and impressive is the Chris Peacock promo (although re-visiting Peacock promos was done in my entirely undervalued Connection vs. FTN promo, and I chose better past ones to pastiche). I think this highly creative structure was successful in both allowing you to address each opponent in turn and provide match focus, as well as make some more meta analyses on Peacock and perceived repetitions. That being said, Alyster Black’s structure and general approach was perhaps equally as creative in a more subtle manner, and - as already touched upon - was more successful in using this structure to bring out the central themes (and key character points) of the promo. The set-up of the Death Walker and Katsu roleplays being similar didn’t affect them too much in this category for me, although maybe the Steel Roulette-prison metaphor in itself would be surface level if it were not for the way that this setting was built upon, particularly in the case of Death and the manner in which this was used to further character work. Fenix’s creativity came mostly in the way he achieved his character work. I think Reagan showed a lot of creativity in his prose and descriptive passages at the start of the promo, which were amongst some of the best I’ve seen for the Cole character.

The Katsu promo had the most moving parts and was the most striking in terms of its presentation, with multiple graphical elements used to really make the promo stand out. There were a few grammar errors (not so much grammar errors, more repeated punctuation marks and the like) throughout, though, which I feel would’ve taken less time to rectify than the graphics did to make and probably have the same effect on overall score. Of course, doing both would’ve meant this would’ve been a very difficult promo to beat from a presentation perspective, with the mugshot graphics in particular a really nice touch. Peacock, Black, and Fenix promos were all very clean generally, with Peacock’s roleplay definitely more ambitious with the overall look. Peacock and Black promos both felt presented as big-time, world title promos. Thought the Cole promo was quite clean overall, especially in the opening section, even if definitely simple (and, again, probably inhibited by circumstances) in how it was formatted. Death Walker promo also had issues in some of its presentation, but again - like in the case of Reagan - I think that’s down to a time/forum-related issue.

I really enjoyed reading these world title promos over the course of a day, and then the next day I did my other grading assignments. There was some real high-effort stuff on this card which didn’t go unnoticed in the grades - I think in terms of overall consistency across the card this was incredible output from top to bottom. I’ll try and get some quick (shorter) thoughts on the others I’ve read at some point before results.
 

Rosie

Neo Genesis
Joined
Apr 16, 2016
Messages
45,362
Reaction score
20,750
Points
128
Location
New Brunswick, Canada
Favorite Wrestler
9yQJpez
Favorite Wrestler
edge
Favorite Wrestler
dJvrW4y
Favorite Wrestler
kevinsteen
Favorite Wrestler
Se3BZPQ
Favorite Wrestler
q9gbHdQ
Favorite Sports Team
2DciFqq
Favorite Sports Team
OQcgyMS
Favorite Sports Team
coloradoavalanche
Favorite Sports Team
vCLYUUD
Thanks for the kind words, SS. It means a lot. A lot of effort went into my promo, and all of our promos really. Regardless of what happens, I'm pretty proud of what I did and I'm impressed at how people stepped up for this match. A lot to be happy with.

Though some choppy dialogue of mine is of design when Ririko attempts English for her still "learning" the language, I definitely noticed one or two things after where I was like "SHIT! HOW DID I MISS THAT!?" Yep, always need to triple and quadruple check that, even if a longer promo means mistakes are bound to happen eventually. This includes in the opening which was re-done last minute. It was actually lengthier with an entire scene of Katsu in a room with the Warden, but my promo was long and I didn't want it to be overly long. Maybe I should have kept it, but at least the new opening still generally accomplished the same thing.

This next part I guess is more me trying to explain my thinking for the promo itself. The Director's commentary if you will.

For my overall structure, the idea I had for a while was Katsu having these sort of conversations with the participants because I wanted to give their stories justice, and how Katsu's reacting to them along with a continuing theme of the fact she's in this dangerous place (Prison, can be seen as either the Steel Roulette match itself or the "Main event" and this was likely going to be similar if it was still Golden Opportunity) and questions about if she's ready for it, is she violent enough for it or if she does win, will people even care?

I think the Fenix, Death, and Cole sections likely felt the strongest since I have known Cole and Death for years so I get them a bit more and Fenix I had a match with before and his story is recent and familiar and I guess with some other characters I played in the past, his was easier to replicate. I definitely had a harder time recreating Peacock and Black. They're long-running characters in FWA, and I still am picking up on some of their details. So I what I did was just pull some aspects out of them. For Peacock, his heel promo this week sort of hinted at how he's "On top of the world" right now, and then added some disco flavour and his *ahem* Truck. Then in the end, with his rant at Katsu, daring her not to enter, I guess that I felt was more Katsu's insecurities talking to her over Peacock, throwing in a mentioning of Peacock thinking she has "upside" echoing back to the Carnal Contendership when she was eliminated.

Black I actually decided to focus on his two anti-FWA rants on TV. First him saying there's "Nothing for him" and he's not going to be seen. There Katsu has some sympathy, likely knowing how it feels to need to step away after a rough loss. But then the second, where he starts to blame FWA itself, that sympathy is lost, or in this case, blaming everything else for his failures except himself. Then the Dragon costume because, come on, there's a level of absurdity with that entire storyline. RAWR vs BARK. Then in the end, the feeling of being overshadowed by his friend as hinted on TV this week. I'm also really glad you liked the ending scene. I wanted to have everything come to head. Get the people bickering, their dreams, goals, clashing. Fenix wanting to be a better person, Peacock wanting to remain on the top of the mountain, Black escaping his friend's shadow, Reagan Cole needing to prove he's not week, Death's craving of destruction and proving he's a monster-

Then Katsu, just feeling left out. Feeling like she needs to belong. Her sort of letting that darkness of her past in a way come out, but she's controlling it. She's going to do everything to belong.

And will she? Will I? We'll see what happens but I think the thing which makes this match fun is the individual narratives coming into it, potentially colliding to create new conflicts, maybe new stars, and to create change.

Once again, thank you SS for the kind words and feedback, and thank you to Man, Gip, DW, Jimmy, and Rawr. Fantastic work all around, can't wait to see the write-up.
 

Sully

Isn't that a daisy?
Joined
Sep 13, 2022
Messages
415
Reaction score
383
Points
83
Age
28
Location
Pittsburgh, PA
Jack The Clipper: Love it. This was a big Chris Kennedy type monologue where Jack did a pretty good job shooting on his opponents. I think once we get to the meat where Jack starts going in on Madison and Blake, you can feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. "Madison Grey, Blake Taylor. You were involved in a game of Russian Roulette that you didn't even know about, and you lost. Your life was put on the line, and now you both get tossed into the pit with the lion that's gonna rip you apart. You're gonna be lucky to just survive the pain I'm bringing your way because you need to understand, when you walk down that ramp come show time…. You're not walking into a ring where you've been honing your craft for the last year. Instead? You're walking into my house. My moment. That I've been working years to get to..and you think in one night either of you can take this moment from me? See ya gotta understand, both of ya think you're ya going be in for a fight, but you're not stepping into the ring; at the anniversary show, that ring is gonna turn into a place like this" - Ohh chills. Literal chills. The part where you absolutely tear apart Blake Taylor, the MMA, and Joe Rogan had me rolling too. Those were all good parts. The problem is though, monologue promos like this just don't work as well in today's FWA. It's all dialog, and I think this is where debuting as a new charcter for both you and Blake put you guys at a disadvantage here...because it's so hard to display character development in an opening promo. I think a vignette promo like this works for an episode of Meltdown or Fallout, but when fighting in a number one contenders match it's really hard to come in and write a winning promo out of the gate for a brand new character.

I'm also going to say, and you're not going to like this and maybe it's a hot take, but there's a recurring theme with AON characters. And it's that they don't live past their gimmicks. Gimmicks only go so long, eventually like snake skin you have to shead it and evolve. But I think with Yuna, or Jack The Clipper, or Lilith, or whoever...eventually the gimmick runs itself out, and that's what I fear for Jack. The evil barber gimmick is great, but I think the biggest thing to work on is how do you evolve that. Of course I said the same exact think to Chris fucking Peacock when he debuted and here that motherfucking is still dancing around and carrying the world championship so what do I actually know?

Tommy Bedlam: Pinning XYZ as the Riddler is great. I think Superhero promos are always fun because they definitely paint this contorted point of view that you're the hero and the guy you're facing is the bad guy. Especially when in reality the lines are much more blurred. I do think the Batman/Riddler gimmick was sort of dropped halfway through and it seemed like Tommy was just Tommy. I wasn't really picturing him as Batman without because I feel like that imagery wasn't consistent, but I think you were going for like a Bruce Wayne/Tommy Bedlam sort of thing, as by Chapter 3 we do switch back over to more of a direct Batman look when the action gets going. The presentation was pretty solid with things like the ransom notes with the different background and font, along with the comic book-type action splats towards the end. I liked the ending well, and enjoyed the comedic jabs of Tommy throwing him of the roof, but he isn't dead. Nice little parody of comic book logic. But the ending in that, even after Tommy takes care of XYZ there's still going to be threats coming after his title, it's a nice staple that sort of outlines the theme of this promo pretty nicely. Not that Tommy is Batman and XYZ is The Ridder, but that Tommy sees himself as this Superhero defending this city/title, and there's always going to be threats.

Jackson Fenix:
Just going to start by saying I think this is one of your best promos of all the times. We've seen a few promos where the characters speak to a duplicate version of himself, but I enjoyed this "Bad Fenix" being more like...a personification of a bad self esteem, and not just like an evil devil on the shoulder. I also enjoyed the Snitsky reference. Jackson keep having to reassure himself and ignore those negative thoughts I think is a pretty solid introduction to the promo, one that should be looped back around. The middle part with Nate and Jackson is good and shows the history between these two friends, and also Nate sort of serves as a voice for the reader in observing that something is definitely wrong with Jackson. I like the transitions in the last part. With you not having the name but just the dialog and color you can as the reader know that the voice is just in his head at that point, but when he stands in front of him the format changes again with the name. I think when we talk presentation we think fancy colors and pictures but I also think things like that are part of presentation and have more thought behind it sometimes than just a cool gif. Overall this promo was a nice little feel good one, with Jackson battling his inner demons. It really gives major babyface vibes, The Disney Channel feel good stuff might be a little too on the nose at the end with Nate hugging him and closing it out, but overall this promo at the very least has gotten me on Team Jackson. I agree with SS that while some of the other promos in the roulette came off very listy, this promo does a good job of avoiding that and focusing on the whole.

Katsu: I think a prison promo is a pretty solid choice given the setting of Katsu's match, and I think using setting to symbolize your match setting isn't something we see enough...I mean I guess we don't get the opportunity as writers enough, but I'm glad you saw it and took it. Not sure how far that goes grading-wise, but personally I think it'd play a little bit into it for me. As far as presentation goes I think overall as far as formatting goes everything looks solid with the graphics, font, and colors. The only thing I don't like is the left alignment, maybe it's personal preference but I'm also big on centered alignment for the most part. Maybe if we're doing a flashback or I want to differentiate between scenes somehow I'd switch back and forth, but overall making everything left aligned feels off to me. Not a huge deal though, but just something I'm pointing out. The "opening credits" part of the promo I thought was creative and had solid imagery because as you read it you can sort of see it all playing out, especially if you play the song. I think each section is done pretty well, but it's clear Alyster Black and Chris Peacock took a bigger focus. I agree with SS that it gets a bit listy at parts, but I don't think it's a list promo. I've seen worse, I think if you did each section with a different opponent and then didn't loop the others back in here and there it'd be more of a list promo, and I think some characters like Jackson Fenix and Death Walker do get that treatment, but Alyster and Peacock definitely seem to have some recurring parts. I mean even Cole and Jackson keep coming back around to. Overall I think you used all your opponents as characters, and keep all of those characters overall recurring throughout as they try to work through this conflict.

I also disagree with SS in the fact that it really matters whether or not you perfectly captured the way that Chris Peacock talks or whatever, as I think this is intended to be a parody. If you were writing Chris Peacock as Chris Peacock, I'd be more concerned that you're using Chris Peacock w/o permission. I think using other characters, especially by direct name, is risky enough as it is, so you tread a thin line when it comes to writing dialog for them. I think it's safer to make it more of a parody than to try and imitate their mannerisms from head to toe.

I think my only gripe story-wise is Katsu comes in and has some major main character energy, which is probably the point, but I do think in reality she's with some very strong personalities, and I don't know if they'd have even let her have her big monologue moment at the end. But in a way I think that's sort of the message, that Katsu does see herself as big as they are. Again I'd also echo what I said earlier in that I think Alyster and Peacock sort of overshadow Cole, Jackson, and Death Walker in this story. Which is fine, I think you identified them as the two biggest threats, but it's a gamble if one of those three end up coming guns ablazing.

Overall I think this was a world title caliber promo, and did send the message that Katsu/you were trying to send which was that you're on that level.

Trixie Bordeaux: First of all from a presentation standpoint I like the way you portrayed this black and white setting. You'd think you could just do a white background black font style, but that wouldn't give me that vibe. The backgrounds, fonts, and blends you use really give off right away that this is an old timey black and white sort of deal. Your world-building of Fantasyland is really well done and I enjoy the throwback to Matty Robinson that I feel like most newbies wouldn't know, so it's clear you paid attention in FWA history class. I enjoyed the reportrayal of Blair and Celestia's loss to DSI, and Trixie's point of view. I think it does a good job of showcasing Trixie's care for her friends, and building off a stable loss that I personally was probably just going to move on from instead of using it in a productive way like this. The final chapter I think is what brings it all together with the carnival. I think the portrayal of Chris Crowe again goes back to what I said in the Katsu review, in that you don't have to portray the character you're parodying accurately, because obviously it's an exaggerated parody. Although I think the parody is more clear here, so there's less confusion. Crowe comes off as Disney villain here, and I think from Trixie's POV that absolutely makes sense. Overall I think this does a good job of showcasing Trixie as being this person, while naive and silly...is someone who is brave and willing to stand up for her friends, and that's something that's sort of been slowly developing since Trixie met The Coven girls.

Blake Taylor: I think overall this is a better promo than most dudes come in and write as their first promo in the FWA. It can take a while to adjust. I'm also surprised that you were able to utilize some FWA reporter personalities. Shake Meltzer not as much because he's pretty well known, but I don't even remember where I had posts from Ty Johnson and Nuances of Wrestling on this site, so I sort of popped when you had him show up. I think a first promo, especially on a big show, is hard but overall you did a solid introduction to the character while also referencing your opponents and the match and I think that's about as much as I would ask for from a first-time promo. Eventually, though you're going to need to evolve your story, settings, and visuals in new ways. I suggest taking a gander through and reading some other promos this show to get a solid idea on what kind of heat your opponents are going to be throwing.