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At this point I think it's a pretty well known fact that I watch A LOT of movies, perhaps even too many at times. Of course it also stands to reason that I've got something to say about each and every one of them, but sometimes I feel like a full on Fuji review wouldn't be required to get it all out. Yes indeed, even I can be less than verbose when it comes to certain movies, and not because they're bad or uninteresting, just because I get tired of writing 1,500 words about things that may only appeal to me! That's right, I'm actually trying to save you all from sitting through lengthy ramblings about movies that you've never heard of before and that's where this little thread comes in. Rather than give the movies in here the full on treatment, I'll instead be giving a brief synopsis, some general comments, a few funny thoughts and a rating. Hopefully this will give you the general gist of these movies and even get you to check some of them out. I'll be updating this thread periodically so keep checking back for more movie madness!
Plot: Whizz, boom, bang, hot men and women drive cars and get into fights.
Comments: I saw this last week and found that it was basically a greatest hits package of the previous five films in the series. That of course was a problem for me, since I didn't find there to be any particular hits in those last films! When I wasn't laughing at Vin Diesel and Paul Walker setting the bar for acting at its lowest level ever, I was marvelling at the fact that people actually think Michelle Rodriguez is hot. No discernible plot here outside of "get us to the next fight/shoot/chase scene" and when a 1969 Dodge Charger Daytona is the best actor in your movie, you know you've got some serious problems. 3.5/10.
A Few Thoughts: How short is Vin Diesel? Seriously, EVERY person in this movie seemed taller than him including the Asian guy and Paul Walker's baby.
When did it become acceptable for a music video to be the intro to your movie? For that matter, when did it become acceptable to make an entire movie a music video?
Have you seen any modern special effects scene as poorly done as the one where Vin Diesel jumps from one car, catches Rodriguez in mid-air and lands on another?
Plot: Roy Scheider bangs Meryl Streep but she may be plotting to kill him.
Comments: Kind of Hitchcock-like in execution, but unfortunately it's pace is way too slow to keep your interest throughout. There's some strong chemistry between the leads but the obvious twist at the end can be seen coming a mile away and doesn't even work properly when it happens. It was nice to see Larry Joshua (Glazer from "The Burning") as a mugger and the auction scene in this film rivals the one in Octopussy. 5.5/10.
A Few Thoughts: Chamber music doesn't really work in suspense thrillers.
Would you really give someone's address (where they go when they don't want to be found) to a total stranger when there's a killer on the loose?
If someone said my pre-Columbian art was fake, I'd punch them in the face with it.
Plot: Emilio Estevez tries to find his place in the universe while chasing down a car with alien bodies in the trunk.
Comments: Fucking awesome little gem from the 80's here, with standout performances from Estevez and the always great Harry Dean Stanton. Director Alex Cox has always been known for his off the wall stuff, and this film may be his greatest of all. The best character in the movie is Miller, played by Tracey Walter (you'd know him as Bob, the Joker's henchman in Tim Burton's "Batman") as a zoned out dude who spouts the most awesomely logical stuff you'll ever hear. Here's an example..."A lot o' people don't realize what's really going on. They view life as a bunch o' unconnected incidents 'n things. They don't realize that there's this, like, lattice o' coincidence that lays on top o' everything. Give you an example, show you what I mean: suppose you're thinkin' about a plate o' shrimp. Suddenly someone'll say, like, "plate," or "shrimp," or "plate o' shrimp" out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin' for one, either. It's all part of a cosmic unconsciousness." Find this and watch it STAT! 8/10.
A Few Thoughts: If you see a green light glowing in the trunk of a car, you should probably run.
Would you really trust someone from the United Fruitcake Outlet?
Does driving more often really lower your intelligence?
That's it for today folks, stay tuned though, there'll be more coming tomorrow.
Fast & Furious 6
Plot: Whizz, boom, bang, hot men and women drive cars and get into fights.
Comments: I saw this last week and found that it was basically a greatest hits package of the previous five films in the series. That of course was a problem for me, since I didn't find there to be any particular hits in those last films! When I wasn't laughing at Vin Diesel and Paul Walker setting the bar for acting at its lowest level ever, I was marvelling at the fact that people actually think Michelle Rodriguez is hot. No discernible plot here outside of "get us to the next fight/shoot/chase scene" and when a 1969 Dodge Charger Daytona is the best actor in your movie, you know you've got some serious problems. 3.5/10.
A Few Thoughts: How short is Vin Diesel? Seriously, EVERY person in this movie seemed taller than him including the Asian guy and Paul Walker's baby.
When did it become acceptable for a music video to be the intro to your movie? For that matter, when did it become acceptable to make an entire movie a music video?
Have you seen any modern special effects scene as poorly done as the one where Vin Diesel jumps from one car, catches Rodriguez in mid-air and lands on another?
Still of the Night
Plot: Roy Scheider bangs Meryl Streep but she may be plotting to kill him.
Comments: Kind of Hitchcock-like in execution, but unfortunately it's pace is way too slow to keep your interest throughout. There's some strong chemistry between the leads but the obvious twist at the end can be seen coming a mile away and doesn't even work properly when it happens. It was nice to see Larry Joshua (Glazer from "The Burning") as a mugger and the auction scene in this film rivals the one in Octopussy. 5.5/10.
A Few Thoughts: Chamber music doesn't really work in suspense thrillers.
Would you really give someone's address (where they go when they don't want to be found) to a total stranger when there's a killer on the loose?
If someone said my pre-Columbian art was fake, I'd punch them in the face with it.
Repo Man
Plot: Emilio Estevez tries to find his place in the universe while chasing down a car with alien bodies in the trunk.
Comments: Fucking awesome little gem from the 80's here, with standout performances from Estevez and the always great Harry Dean Stanton. Director Alex Cox has always been known for his off the wall stuff, and this film may be his greatest of all. The best character in the movie is Miller, played by Tracey Walter (you'd know him as Bob, the Joker's henchman in Tim Burton's "Batman") as a zoned out dude who spouts the most awesomely logical stuff you'll ever hear. Here's an example..."A lot o' people don't realize what's really going on. They view life as a bunch o' unconnected incidents 'n things. They don't realize that there's this, like, lattice o' coincidence that lays on top o' everything. Give you an example, show you what I mean: suppose you're thinkin' about a plate o' shrimp. Suddenly someone'll say, like, "plate," or "shrimp," or "plate o' shrimp" out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin' for one, either. It's all part of a cosmic unconsciousness." Find this and watch it STAT! 8/10.
A Few Thoughts: If you see a green light glowing in the trunk of a car, you should probably run.
Would you really trust someone from the United Fruitcake Outlet?
Does driving more often really lower your intelligence?
That's it for today folks, stay tuned though, there'll be more coming tomorrow.
