Right off the bat I have to say that I'm impressed, as Pretentious Voice Over Announcer has been replaced by a super creepy female. The intro video package is equally as creepy and features some hilarious dialogue such as "if it (the cage) had the gift of speech it would say go away, keep out"
: Ok, so maybe I'm the only one who found it THAT funny, but trust me, after sitting through the crap fest that was Destination X, I really needed this to start off strongly, which it did.
Mike Tenay and Don West are here and we quickly head to the back where Kevin Nash is showing us his staph infection. Alright, so we're heading downhill again, but at least we find out Nash won't be participating in Lethal Lockdown later on tonight. YES! YES!! YES!!!
Chris Candido & Lance Hoyt vs. Apolo & Sonny Siaki
Prior to the match starting, we see a camera man wearing a helmet get in the ring. I guess this is supposed to sell how dangerous the cage environment is, but all it really does is make me laugh. That being said, that's laugh number two and we're not even 10 minutes in, so its a good thing. There's another moment right after the match begins which would have been laughable if it wasn't what led to Candido's death. Siaki botches the crap out of a dropkick, causing Candido to fall awkwardly and break his ankle. He has to head to the back so Hoyt and his tramp stamp are now forced into a handicap match. There's a moment a bit later on where Hoyt has Siaki up in a slam position and is visibly calling spots, but hey, I can't blame them since they basically had to improvise this entire match once Candido went down. Siaki botches another move, this time a release German suplex as Hoyt is climbing the ropes as I'm left to wonder why this man is even allowed to be trying moves like that? The end comes when Siaki hits a splash off the top for the win. After the match, The Naturals come down, blame Hoyt for the loss and beat him up, thus turning him face. These guys gave it the old college try after Candido left, but nothing really came of it.
*1/2
We're in the back with Dusty, Tracy and Trinity and he announces that AMW vs. Team Canada will now be a strap match. He also announces the first two men for Lethal Lockdown and its Jeff Jarrett and Sean Waltman. Well that should be entertaining anyway, so I can't complain.
Dustin Rhodes vs. Bobby Roode (w/Scott D'Amore) - Prince of Darkness Match
So here's the deal with this match. It's a two out of three falls match where the first two are normal falls and the third one, if necessary, is a blindfold match. Seriously. First of all, its obvious this is going three falls because there'd be no reason to add that inane stip to the third one otherwise. Second, while I give TNA credit for attempting to make these matches unique (as opposed to them all being simple cage matches), why the hell can't they come up with a more normal stipulation? Hell, Rhodes had a decent enough Bullrope match with Raven on the last show, they should have just done that, and hey, it also would have fit in with the whole angle behind the match, where D'Amore and Roode made fun of Rhodes for being a redneck cowboy. The first fall happens almost immediately, with Roode getting a pin with his feet on the ropes, but nobody catches it right away. Tenay and West have to back track a few moments later to confirm that it was indeed the first fall. Wow.
The second fall is actually pretty good considering its 2005 Dustin Rhodes in there, and the end is solid, with Rhodes hitting a top rope bulldog to even things up. Now the fun begins, as Rudy Charles busts out the hoods and we're off to the races! Well actually, no we aren't, as they plod around the ring in the standard blindfold match formula. They eventually find Charles and kill him with a couple of clotheslines and then D'Amore tosses in a chair but Roode can't seem to find it. You see, if I was D'Amore, I would have told Roode to take his hood off after the ref was taken out. For that matter, I would have been shouting Dustin's location to him the entire time before the ref bump as well. Man, that D'Amore is a horrible manager!
: Anyhow, the end of this mess finally comes with Dustin hitting Roode with a chair just in time for Rudy Charles to make the count and give Dustin the win. This was way too long, and I would have preferred the second fall to just be the entire match. I'm also not sure why Rhodes had to go over here, but you know, its TNA so I just sort of throw logic out the window and take another shot of Jack.
*
The Franchise of Interviewers is in the back with Christopher Daniels, who says he wanted to keep XXX together but that his X belt means more to him. Elix Skipper comes in and asks Daniels why he's using his outdoor voice. Lolwut? They both storm off and Shane Douglas says tonight is going to be Primetime while laughing evilly. Man, Douglas really IS The Franchise of Interviewers!
Michael Shane vs. Chris Sabin vs. Shocker vs. Sonjay Dutt
Because this is TNA, there's obviously a wacky stipulation attached to this match, though this one isn't nearly as bad as the last. The first two guys will be eliminated by pinfall or submission, while the last two guys can only win by escape. Alright, I can live with that, and I can live with this match because everyone involved is at the very least decent. According to Tenay, Mark "Slick" Johnson says "ring the bell" and who am I to argue? Sabin and Dutt start off and its the usual solid effort from these two. A bit later there's a bunch of near falls and some pin attempts that are broken up. Unless I missed some sort of meeting, can someone enlighten me as to why you'd want to break up a pin in this match? It's not like these guys are actually teammates or anything, and one less man means you've got a better shot at winning this thing. I guess thinking like that is what happens when you graduate elementary school, something it appears the bookers and TNA management did not do. Anyhow, it comes down to Shocker and Sabin, who fight at the top until they both fall to the floor, but Shocker hits it first so he gets the win. Standard X-Division stuff, which means its pretty good, but once again there's no psychology to be had here at all.
**1/2
We see a quick recap of Candido's injury, which is pretty damn nasty. West and Tenay opine that its similar to Joe Theismann's but its not even close.
Jeff Hardy vs. Raven - Tables Match
Video package to start hypes this feud but in all honesty I feel like it was thrown together at the last minute to get Hardy and Raven onto the PPV. This is a tables match in a cage, which is a cute little stipulation and again, kudos to TNA for trying to make these matches unique. Obviously the tables fit well with both men's past forays into hardcore territory, so while I haven't been impressed with either guy's in-ring work lately (Raven's promos absolutely rule though) I'm thinking this could be pretty good. Well, I was partially right, it was good, but it sure as hell wasn't pretty. Hardy and Raven both hit some standard spots to get the crowd into it and the end comes with Hardy hitting a leg drop from the top of the cage onto Raven and through two sets of double stacked tables. Alright, that was actually a pretty cool spot and for once, Hardy looked motivated out there. I still don't love his TNA stuff that much, but I'll give him credit for putting on a better match with Raven than he did with Abyss last month.
**1/2
America's Most Wanted (c) vs. Team Canada (w/A1) - Strap Match
Dusty made this a strap match about an hour ago so yeah, that's where we're at. The cleaning crew is in the ring sweeping up all the leftover bits of table from the last match, which I actually find pretty amusing. This is the Eric Young/Petey Williams version of the team, as Roode was obviously busy running around with a hood on his head earlier in the night. A1 makes himself known almost immediately (and why did they show him in the pre-match picture if he's not wrestling?) by nailing Harris on the outside with the belt and locking him out of the cage. This allows EY and Williams to kick the crap out of Storm on the inside while A1 does the same to Harris on the outside. It's simple and its logical, so nobody should be surprised that it works. Of course, since its TNA, that logic is bound to be undone by the end of this match. Before we get there though, we have a great moment where Harris finally gets into the cage and mauls Team Canada with a huge clothesline that has the fans going wild! However, that's the last great moment we have in this match, as soon A1 gives Williams some powder only to have it kicked back into his face. This leads to him thinking that Young is a member of AMW and so he gives him the Canadian Destroyer, which in turn allows AMW to hit the Death Sentence on him for the win. Outside of that being a pretty lame finish, its pretty much the same thing that happened in the Roode match earlier tonight. Moral of the story? If you're Team Canada, stay away from things that inhibit your ability to see, since it'll never work out for you. Match was pretty good outside of the shoddy finish though, and definitely the best so far tonight. Thank God for AMW.
***
Christopher Daniels (c) vs. Elix Skipper - X-Division Title
XXX EXPLODE!!!! Ok, so it doesn't quite conjure up the same feelings as when it involved the Mega Powers, but I still love the break up and subsequent feud of tag team members, provided its done properly. This obviously has a long history, but the most recent set up for it came a month ago when Daniels and Skipper worked together in their match only to have Daniels turn on Skipper towards the end. The video package before the match does a good job reminding us of this and also a little of the history of XXX as well. There's a solid counter sequence to start, along with some nice shoulderblock trading, but the match really gets going when Skipper hurts his shoulder and Daniels takes advantage. As with his match against Sonjay Dutt a couple of shows back, Skipper does a real good job selling the injury while Daniels is just merciless in his attack. Eventually Daniels ends up climbing to the top of the cage and Skipper teases the Victory Road cage walk spot, but Daniels smartly jumps down. Unfortunately for him, Skipper isn't done and dives from the top, taking out both Daniels and the ref. Skipper goes for a slam but his shoulder gives out. Daniels tries for the Angel's Wings but Skipper reverses it into the Sudden Death which Daniels counters into an Angel's Wings for the victory. Fantastic back and forth at the beginning and the end and some solid selling in the middle from Skipper. That's about all I can ask for and while it wasn't the greatest match I've ever seen with these two, it was still pretty damn awesome.
***1/2
Sean Waltman, DDP and BG James vs. Jeff Jarrett, The Outlaw and Monty Brown - Lethal Lockdown
Waltman is out first and he's got a damn trash can with him, so you just know shit's going to be real from the get go here. Jarrett heads out with his guitar AND a trash can in an obvious attempt to show up Waltman. This must have pissed Waltman off because he heads to the ramp and takes it to Jarrett right away. They brawl around past some fat chicks and I'd like to quickly point out that the clock is already running even though I don't see how the match ever officially begun. Jarrett nails Waltman with a cookie sheet and then they end up on top of the announcers table where Waltman pretty much misses Jarrett with a spin kick but he sells it anyway. Waltman finds a cowbell on the floor (from Jarrett's trash can) and hits him with it as all I can think of is "more cowbell". Waltman pulls the stupidest move of all time by trying a Bronco Buster, but Jarrett moves out of the way. Word of advice Waltman, Bronco Buster's work a lot better when there's no cage to stop your legs.
:
Kip James is out now and the best thing he contributes is setting Waltman up for a spot where he alley-oop's him and hits a dropkick on Jarrett. DDP is out next and rather than rush to the ring to save his "friend" he decides to stop for a bit and plays to the fans while his pyro goes off. What a douche! Page mauls James and Jarrett with a kendo stick until it breaks. This is the very definition of a garbage match at this point and we still have two more guys to come! Next up is Monty Brown and he's got a cookie tray which he nails Waltman with. Finally, BG James, the surprise replacement for Kevin Nash and his staph infection comes out. James is personally involved in the angle, so I can understand why he was made the third man here. Anyhow, the rest of the match is a total clusterfuck and ends with Waltman hitting a Victory Roll on Brown for the pin. So neither Jarrett nor James were good enough to take the fall here, but Monty (who's career continues to spiral downards) has to? Yep, thanks for making so much sense TNA. While the match was put together properly, I'm so disgusted by the treatment of Brown and the emphasis on has been's that it really ruined any chance it had to be anything more than sub-par.
**
AJ Styles vs. Abyss - #1 Contender's Match
The winner here gets a shot at Jeff Jarrett next month at Hard Justice. That's hot. Styles throws caution to the wind right off the bat as he dives out of the cage and onto Abyss and then hits a rana on the floor! The crowd, which was a little dead after the shitstorm that occurred before this, is totally awake now, which is awesome. Abyss tosses AJ into the crowd but he responds by jumping OVER them and elbowing Abyss in the face. That was a seriously amazing spot and you can tell Styles is FEELING it tonight. They brawl up the stairs and then back down, where Abyss slams the cage door into AJ's shoulder as he's trying to get in and then slams it right into his face! That was a sick spot and AJ sold it like a goddamn champ. AJ's busted open, so Abyss tosses him into the ring, along with his trusty chain and, you guessed it, a bag of thumbtacks. Styles is a bloody mess as Abyss sets a chair up in the corner and then chokes the crap out of him with the chain. He also hits a huge boot to AJ's face for good measure and yes, the blood is flowing even more.
Abyss just punishes AJ, press slamming him into the cage multiple times. It's kind of scary to see a guy the size of Abyss simply toss around Styles like a rag doll! He puts AJ in a head vice and man, I know its not real, but it certainly looks painful, particularly with AJ being so bloody. AJ finally manages to get out of one of the press slam attempts and hit a Tornado DDT which just happens to drop Abyss face first onto his chain! There's a botched moonsault attempt but the crowd is so into it they barely notice and then Abyss goes face first into the chair in the corner. This is seriously insane, as both guys are just killing themselves tonight. Eventually the thumbtacks come into play, but AJ isn't going down without a fight and he hits the STYLES CLASH ONTO THE TACKS!!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!! Amazingly enough, that only gets two, so AJ heads up top but Abyss tosses the ref into the cage which knocks him out and has AJ hanging by a thread. Abyss heads and chokes AJ with the chain but Styles counters and hits a fucking Sunset Flip Powerbomb from the top rope onto the tacks and that's enough for the pin. Wow, that was what I call a main event, and certainly among the best TNA PPV matches up to this point. Both guys delivered big time and it was just one hell of a bloody and brutal brawl.
****1/4
After the disappointment of last month's Destination X, TNA explodes in a big way with this show. While I could have done without the WWE rejects starring in a weak version of War Games and the blindfold match from hell, everything else was worth watching and most of it delivered. They really needed this one to be big after the previous show and to their credit, they mostly did the right thing. My faith in TNA has been restored due to this, and I can only hope Hard Justice is equally as strong.
7/10
