EXTREME CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING PRESENTS: ECW, HARDCORE TV!
Live from: 2300 Arena in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Opening theme: "Cold" by Static-X
*We have a video package showcasing the highlights of ECW Living Dangerously, which leads into a backstage segment involving The F.B.I, Gilbertti and the Syndicate sitting at a table playing poker backstage. Heidenreich is curling both tag team championships like dumbbells while Cena's telling Little Guido tales of the time that he and big Jonny took their High School football team to Nationals. Guido pretends to be interested in this, but it's clear that he isn't. This all comes to a head when the unlikely alliance of Raven and Rhino burst through the doors and start swinging chairs. Amidst the mayhem, Glenn finds a way to sneak out of the room. *
Match One: The Backseat Boyz vs H8 Club
This your standard ECW shitshow, lots of weapon usage the likes of Gage and Hatred are known for. Relatively short match, Gage pins Acid at 5:50.
Winners: H8 Club!
*We cut backstage to Gilbertti's assistant, Vince Russo, who is addressing the members of FMW and Toruymon that are here in ECW. Due to the departures of Dragon and TARU, this is no longer a gang warfare mentatlity and will be treated as a traditional talent exchange. Hayabusa is praised for his ECW International Championship victory. Russo says that Junji Tanaka in particular interests him, but the last name has to go. He's sold the rights of his name to an up and coming Japanese shipping company, and he'll now be referred to as 'Junji.com'. The former Tanaka simply smiles and gives a thumbs up, willing to do whatever it takes to stay in ECW and not go back to his life in Japan where he lives underneath Ultimo Dragon's staircase.*
Match Two: Junji.com vs Chill Willy
Pretty decently little high flying match here, manages to go about seven minutes before Junji picks up the win in his first singles outing in ECW.
Winner: Junji.com
*Hido shows up at the entrance set, barbed wire baseball bat in hand. When FMW was united to go up against ECW, these two were reluctant allies. From the looks of it, he wants to hit the ring and take Junji out with the bat, but he is stopped by Hayabusa. Hido points to the ECW International championship with the bat before disappearing behind the curtain. Are we heading towards a collision course with these men?*
*We have another vignette from Mordecai. He's tired of the sin and debauchery displayed in ECW and the roster WILL repent, whether it's of their own accord of by force. The vignette ends with a graphic displaying that Mordecai will make his ECW debut next week!*
*Immediately after that vignette, we see highlights from CM Punk vs Samoa Joe. We then find CM Punk standing in a darkened room backstage. Seated across from Punk is none other than Tarek the Great, who hasn't had the best track record so far in ECW. Punk promises that he can help Tarek see the light, all he has to do is pledge his allegiance to the straight edge movement. Just as it seems that Tarek is actually considering this, Punk boots him in the jaw before walking out of the room. Not quite sure what the point of this was, but it keeps Punk on TV without having him in the ring each week*
Match Three: Samoa Joe vs Jack Evans.
Two up and comers here in ECW, This contest is sure to be a good one. About halfway through the contest, we see Yoshihiro Tajiri appear at the stage. From the looks of it, Tajiri is sizing up Samoa Joe and perhaps sees the young technician as a formidable foe. Joe gets the win with the Coquina Clutch before staring down Tajiri. Interesting note: Mikey Whipreck, who is normally always with Tajiri, is nowhere to be seen.
Winner: Samoa Joe!
*We get a vignette for the returning team of New Jack and Mustafa Saed. Probably not the smartest idea but it's ECW, god dammit!*
*We see a young man named Michael Shane (Matt Bently) backstage. He talks about his wrestling pedigree and says that his cousin is Shawn Michaels. He has a surprise for us because himself and his cousin are going to be a tag team here in ECW. Without any further delay he wants to introduce his cousin... Sean Michaels (Sean Casey). Hooray, jobber teams to fill out the undercard!*
Match Four: Rob Van Dam vs Hayabusa
This could be considered to be a dream match by many. We know going into this match, as we have always known... nobody flies higher than Rob Van Dam. We also know that Hayabusa is the ECW International Champion. In a finish that'll surely upset the fans but keep both competitors looking good, this ends in a fifteen minute draw.
Winner: Draw
*Post match, Van Dam gets on the mic and proposes the idea to Hayabusa that next week they do this one more time. This time, there won't be a time-limit because he wants to face Hayabusa in a ladder match for the ECW International Championship. Hayabusa, never one to back down from a challenge, nods to show that he accepts the challenge!*
Match Five: Homicide vs Super Crazy vs Kid Kash vs Nova.
Fun match, full of technical work and high flying. In the end, Super Crazy is able to pin Nova to get the dub.
Winner: Super Crazy.
*Prior to the main event, The Syndicate make their way to the ring with Bill Alfonso who is proud to announce the debut of their new workout program, dubbed the "Syndicate System of Excellence that'll land you the Babes" (Wow, what a mouthful). They call Joel Gertner out, who will be known as 'Slim Jimmy' moving forward. Each week, we will be updated on his progress as he hopes to get a better bod for the babes of the 2300 Arena.*
Main Event: Raven and Rhino vs The F.B.I (Stamboli, Guido and Mamaluke) and The Syndicate.
The Syndicate never even get on the ring apron. Heidenrich is doing pushups and jumping jacks while Cena shouts words of encouragement at him and slim Jimmy. Despite the two not liking one another, Rhino and Raven are able to dispatch the F.B.I in about ten minutes when Raven hits the Raven Effect on Johnny Stamboli.
*Post match, we see Paul Heyman standing in the crowd holding a microphone. Heyman begins to speak of how Glenn Gilbertti has taken his brainchild and turned it into a playground for jocks, children and the criminally unintelligent. He says that he would have rather ECW remaind dead than become this. Behind Heyman, we can see Sandman, Sabu, Justin Credible and Tommy Dreamer stand up. They jump the barricade and start tearing apart the F.B.I and Slim Jimmy while Alfonso and the Syndicate manage to tuck their tails between their legs and sneak away to fight another day. Raven and Rhino are confused, but that doesn't stop the two from brawling with one another. That brawl ends with Rhino landing a huge Gore as the fans cheer. All hell has broken lose.*
Closing Thoughts:
* I'm sure you noticed I kept the hardcore wrestling to a limit here. We're going to try to make those moments feel more important.
*I'm all-in on CM Punk for the long haul and don't want him in the ring every single week.
*Mordecai is going to be an interesting project.
* I hated to revamp the whole Toryumon/FMW war, but that's the way the cookie crumbled with setting up this save. It may work better in the long haul.
* Rhino's eventual world title win (whenever it does happen) is going to be a huge deal.
I showed these guys some of the wild shit that happened to you.
fuck yes we back boys
