ECW: From Bankruptcy to ... Something?

[Halfway House]

Extreme Championship Wrestling: From Bankruptcy to... Something?


THE PRELUDE:
(From the head of Mister. Inferno himself)
((Ay, yo - mah name's Glenn Gilberti, otherwise known as the Thursday Night Delight, the Commander of Catering and the Emperor of enhancement talents, Disco Inferno. I bet you're wonderin' how I got here. Ya see, I won five dollah off of a scratch-off ticket that I bought down at the stop n' shop. With that five dollahs, I went from a man with no purpose in life... to a man with a dream. I called up big Pauly and we made some moves. You see, ECW wasn't doin' so hot. My boy Pauly was in dept by two hunned fiddy thousand dollahs to some bois you ain't wanna' owe no money to. So I calls Pauly up and I says to him... "Paul, this is quite the situation that you have gotten yourself into. We have to find a way out of this, for you, for me... for the fans of wrestling around the world." So after I says that to him, we went downtown, right? I bought as much coke as I could get for five dollah and we distributed that shit to every corner of the county. We made enough money to start our own small in-home brewery, which led to Pauly startin' up his own brother, and boi, the ladies just kept comin' thru the door. We managed to save ECW from dyin' and we now have our own line of alcoholic beverages that we distribute at every show. It's good ta' be the king of Disco.))

ECW Roster:
(Some talent has yet to debut)

Abyss
Acolyte #1
Acolyte #2
Balls Mahoney
Charlie Haas
Chris Hero ***
Christian York
CM Punk
Danny Doring
Doug Williams
Drago
Hayabusa (FMW Exchange)
Hido (FMW Exchange)
Homicide
Jack Evans
Joey Matthews
John Cena
Johnny Kashmere
Johnny "The Bull" Stamboli
Jon Heidenreich
Junji Tanaka (FMW Exchange)
Juventud Guerrera
Kid Kash
Little Guido
Matt Striker
Mike Knox
Mikey Whipreck
Nick Gage
Nick Mondo
Nova
Onryo (FMW Exchange)
Onyx
Psicosis
Raven
Rhino
Roadkill
Rodney Mack
Russ Haas
Sabu
Samoa Joe
Simon Diamond
Spike Dudley
Super Crazy
Tarek the Great
TARU (Toryumon expansion)
Teddy Hart
Tony Mamaluke
Trent Acid
Ultimo Dragon (Injured)
Vito Lograsso
Yoshihiro Tajiri

ECW Non-Wrestling Staff:

Chris Kay *Referee*
Bill Alfonso *Manager*
Cyrus *Commentator*
Dave Prazak *Road Agent*
Dawn Marie *Manager*
Glenn Gilbertti *Commissioner*
Elektra *Manager*
Gabe Sapolsky *Road Agent*
Jack Victory *Manager*
Jim Molineaux *Referee*
Joel Gertner *Personality*
Joey Styles *Commentator*
John Finnegan *Referee*
Kevin Sullivan *Road Agent*
Paul Heyman *Owner*
Ricky Steamboat *Road Agent*
Ted DiBiase *Road Agent*
The Sinister Minister *Manager*
Vince Russo *Head of Catering*

ECW Champions:

ECW World Heavyweight: Raven

ECW World Television: Super Crazy

ECW World Tag Team: Tajiri and Mikey Whipreck

(Two other titles are currently being planned, will be introduced down the line)
​

 

[Chris]

Bro what the fuck this is gold

 

[Halfway House]

Tuesday January 2nd, 2001

From the desk of Paul Heyman:

We would like to welcome you to the re-launch of Extreme Championship Wrestling, this is an opportunity that we would not have been able to provide to wrestling fans worldwide without the help of my new business associate, Glenn Gilberti. Today, we would like to announce that the following wrestlers have been released from their contracts: The Sandman, Justin Credible. I was informed that Mr. Gilberti was not a fan, thus, they were considered expendable. In the words of my partner, "Get cha ass out the door before I have big sal turn ya spleen into a jump rope." In more positive news, however, we have extended contract offers to fifteen independent wrestlers today. Once those have been signed, you will receive more info about Guilty as Charged, our first Pay-Per-View under the new leadership. We owe everything that we have to our loyal fanbase. It has been a pleasure speaking with you all today.​

 

[Chris]

No Justin Credible

Sandman is expendable tbh tho

 

[Hidden Blaze]

No Justin Credible

Sandman is expendable tbh tho

I tried to talk him out of firing Justin Credible

 

[Halfway House]

Releasing him was a calculated risk, and it's gonna' pay off.

 

[Chris]

At least this way X-Factor can still happen in this universe.

 

[Halfway House]

Ladies and Gentleman, this is Paul Heyman coming back to you with another EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEME update! We have signed over twenty new extremists to come join the hardcore family. You will see these talents making their debuts over the course of the next few months and we couldn't be more excited to be a part of this.Things are going good leading into Guilty as Charged, so, I've decided to take some time to provide you with an interview from one of our top talents, The Whole F'N Show, ROOOOOOOOOOB VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN DAAAAAAAAAAAAM! Below, you will find the transcript between our backstage analyst and RVD himself.

__________________________________________

"Thank you for joining up tonight, Rob. There has been a lot of rumor and speculation going around about the re-launch of ECW. We were wondering... where do you stand on this?"

RVD: Yeah, I'll have a double cheeseburger, some chicken strips, a large fry and a cookies and cream bli --- wait, this isn't Dairy Queen?

"No, Rob. This is Eric English, ECW backstage analyst and we were hoping to get your thoughts on the re-launch of ECW."

RVD: Well, dude... if you ask me, like... having more promotions for the guys to work and stuff just like... you know, man.... you can make more money. I was champion for a reason, that's because nobody flies higher than R...V...D...

"Absolutely, Rob. You've made a career with your kicks and your ability to go to the skies. You're considered by many to be a pioneer in this new wave of professional wrestling, how do you feel about that?"

RVD: You know, man... I just, like... take it one day at a time, man. I'm R...V...D, I have such a varied offense. Nobody can fly higher than me.

"Yes, Rob. You told us."

RVD: Hey, man... nobody can fly hi----

"AAAAAND that's all the time that we have today, thank you ladies and gentlemen for tuning in, I'm Eric English and you have been lovely."​

 

[Chris]

A+ segment

 

[Hidden Blaze]

Is that RVD or me being interviewed?

 

[Halfway House]

Sunday February 4th, 2001
Live from the ECW Arena in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Extreme Championship Wrestling proudly presents: GUILTY AS CHARGED.
___________________________________________________________________

The show opens with a video package highlighting the history of Extreme Championship Wrestling, as well as some of the new talents who have been signed that will be debuting over the next few months. Once this package ends, the camera would focus in on the commentary team of Joey Styles, Joel Gertner and Cyrus who were sitting ringside, ready for Styles to give his opening.

"Ladies and gentleman welcome to ECW Guilty As Charged and we can't wait, we have one hell of a show in store for you here tonight! Everybody thought that we were gone, but you can't kill off hardcore, ECW is here to stay."

Opening Match: The Full Blooded Italians (Tony Mamaluke, Little Guido) [0-0-0] vs The Naturals (Chase Stevens, Andy Douglas) [0-0-0]
Douglas and Stevens are both relatively new to the wrestling scene, both of the members of this team being in their rookie years as professionals. This is evident, as Little Guido picks up the win for the Full Blooded Italians in 6:50.

Winners: The Full Blooded Italians!

Backstage Segment: The Sinister Minister debuts his new client!

In a dark room, we see the "Sinister Minister" James Mitchell standing next to Yoshihiro Tajiri and Mikey Whipreck. The Minister talks about the dark days that are going to fall upon ECW following this re-launch. In order to make sure that his plans will come to fruition, he would like to introduce ABYSS to the ECW Fans!

Match Two: Nova [0-0-0] vs Drago [0-0-0] vs Samoa Joe [0-0-0] vs Colt Cabana [0-0-0]

This match isn't necessarily anything special, but Nova and Samoa Joe manage to shine here. Joe manages to pick up the victory in 5:30 with a Coquina Clutch.

Winner: Samoa Joe!

*We see a video package hyping up Sabu*

Match Three: Balls Mahoney [0-0-0] vs Mike Knox [0-0-0] vs Nick Gage [0-0-0]

The commentary team puts over Knox and Gage, who are making their respective debuts here tonight. This match is full of weapon usage. In the end, Nick Gage picks up the victory in 10:20

*We cut to the back to see the Full Blooded Italians celebrating when Glenn Gilbertti opens the door with two women on his arms. He offers his leadership to the F.B.I, who then accept. Since there's no paperwork anywhere in the immediate area, Guido and Mamaluke sign their names on the womens chest to make this union official. This leads to Glenn producing a bag of cocain from his pocket before we cut back to the ring.*

Match Four: Kid Kash [0-0-0] vs Homicide [0-0-0] vs Tajiri [0-0-0] vs Super Crazy [0-0-0] vs Danny Doring [0-0-0]

This is an action packed high flying contest, Homicide is also making his ECW debut during this one. They manage to keep the crowd invested with many high spots. When all is said and done, Super Crazy picks up the victory in 14:35. After the match, Paul Heyman comes to the ring and awards Super Crazy the vacant ECW Television Championship!

Winner: Super Crazy!

*We are supposed to see Rob Van Dam vs Sabu next, but Rob is found unconscious in the backstage area.*

Match Five: Sabu [0-0-0] vs ... Raven! [0-0-0]

This match serves as Raven's return to ECW. The commentary teams mulls over the idea that Raven was the person who attacked RVD backstage. This match is filled with tons of weapon usage and at one point, a sheet of wood covered in barbed wire is teased though nothing comes from it. Raven picks up the victory in 20:43 with the Raven Effect.

Winner: Raven!

*After this contest, Rhino makes his way to the ring and has a stare down with Raven, which prompts Gilbertti to make his way to the entrance ramp. He announces that next week, ECW Hardcore TV will be making its return and the main event will be Rhino vs Raven in a last man standing match for the ECW Championship!*​

 

[Hoss]

The show definitely sounds entertaining.

You really jumped into the deep end with the new additions. I like pretty much everyone you brought in. Interesting choice to have Gage win that debut match. He been around a while but I feel like in 2001, people weren't thinking much of him. TBH I think his prison sentence raised his profile significantly. But nonetheless I like the idea of him maybe forming a version of The H8 Club in ECW.

Goes without saying that guys like Joe, Homicide and Abyss are great additions though I actually wonder how the ECW fanbase would take to Abyss. Would they see him as too hokey possibly? Maybe, but I'm sure once they see him fly through some glass and barbed wire or something they'll come around.

 

[Hidden Blaze]

I see that a contract wasn't presented on a titty, but it was signed on one in away.

Gonna love this, surely the shit with Glenn Gilbertti and the FBI. I can already tell it's going to be the golden part of the show.

 

[Halfway House]

Appreciate the kind words! This is definitely going to be a new breed of ECW. We're keeping the hardcore style that the company's synonymous for, but I'd also like to mix in good technical workers like Danielson at some point as well.

 

[Hoss]

Appreciate the kind words! This is definitely going to be a new breed of ECW. We're keeping the hardcore style that the company's synonymous for, but I'd also like to mix in good technical workers like Danielson at some point as well.

Are you accusing ECW of not having good technical workers?

I guess Dean Malenko was just some bum. Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Tajiri, Rey Mysterio, Steve Corino, Eddie Guerrero... buncha hacks huh?