DTF Monday Night Explosion
January 18, 2010
Episode 3
The show opens with the Straight Edge Savior, DTF Champion, CM Punk. He stands in the ring, the usually arrogant sneer replaced with an angry grimace. The crowd give him the usual jeers.
Punk: There a lot of fools in this world. There’s the fools who inject themselves with foreign substances for a brief buzz, which leads them on a wild goose chase to reach those euphoric drug-induced heights for the remainder of their short and pointless lives. There’s the fools who suck smoke deep into their lungs for some kind of relaxation, doing irreparable damage to almost every organ in there body. There’s the fools who drink themselves stupid, then go home and hit their wives, crash their cars and more often than not are left lying in the gutter, wondering where their life went so horribly wrong. Then we have the biggest fools of all: the enablers. Those hate-filled, irresponsible idiots who allow all this to go on. I’m going to say this nice and slow so you can all understand this through your drug-induced hazes. Chris Jericho is an enabler! He comes out here and spouts of his immature little jokes and insults, amusing you, pandering to you like he’s some kind of dancing monkey. Well I’m not going to allow it anymore. I’m not going to allow Chris Jericho to encourage and enable all of you to destroy your lives and the lives of those around you. Chris, last week you came out and ruined my inauguration, for no other reason than that you’re an addict, addicted to attention, addicted to the spotlight. Chris, you obviously want to try and take me down to get some more of your beloved attention. This belt isn’t ever going to leave my waist, but you can try as hard as you like. Chris, I’m challenging you to a DTF Championship match at Origin, which afterwards, all your fans will see they shouldn’t be supporting a enabling ass like yourself. They should be supporting ME, their Straight Edge Savior, CM Punk!
‘Break The Walls Down’ plays to a pretty substantial pop, Y2J coming down to the ring to confront the champion
Jericho: Osama called, he says he wants his beard back.
Crowd laughs, but Punk maintains his indignant smirk
Jericho: But on topic, I was actually hoping you’d say that. Punk - you’re on!
The crowd pop even bigger now that the match is made official
Jericho: Punk, there’s a reason these fans, wait no, that everyone hates you. It’s not because they’re under the influence of drugs or alcohol, it’s because you’re a self righteous asshole. I’m here to entertain, I’m not here to tell other people to live there lives because that’s none of my business, and definitely none of yours. Now before you start preaching again, I’d suggest you buy yourself a razor, have a shower and get your damn haircut because right now you look more like a meth-head than a ‘Straight Edge Savior’
Punk: Good God Chris, don’t you get it yet? You’re sick, and you’re addiction won’t go away if you don’t accept it’s there. You’re like all the junkies in this ground, you won’t admit you have a problem. As you only chug down another one of the beers for sale tonight, probably you’re first or second of many for tonight, you’ll just scoff at me. You’ll think what you’re doing is okay, because you’re almighty hero Chris Jericho said it so. Then you’ll leave this arena, stumbling and vomiting as you go. There will be fights. There will be injuries. There will be deaths. And for what? And for WHAT? For a substantial decreased lifespan? For permanent harm? Do not listen to this man in the ring with me, for he is just as addicted as you. Follow me, follow your champion, follow me and I shall lead you to a life of salvation
Jericho: Oh my freakin’ God, are you high? For once in your life, mind your own business rather than walking around preaching like you’re some kind of unbathed Messiah. I can’t wait till we get to Origin so I can shut you up for good, take that championship belt and kick you straight to the gutter, which with the looks and *over exaggerates sniffing* smell of you, you already reside.
Punk: Then why wait till Origin? Why not feed your addiction for adulation right now? Come on, take a shot
The Straight Edge Savior leans forward, putting his chin out to give Y2J an easy shot. He sneers happily after a few seconds, not expecting Jericho to take the cheap shot the whole time. Punk stands back up.
Punk: You see folks? Chris here has taken the first step on the road to rehabila-
Jericho: Whoa, that’s not why I didn’t hit you. You see, on one hand, I want to have you at your best when I take your title in 6 days at Origin. But on the other hand…
Punk is caught completely off-guard by a right hand from Jericho as the crowd surge with excitement. The champion falls back into the corner and Y2J continues to deliver rights and lefts to the Straight Edge Savior. The champion tries to escape out of the corner, but he’s hit with a dropkick courtesy of Jericho. The challenger now grabs both legs of the champion, attempting to get him in the Walls of Jericho. CM Punk desperately scrambles under the bottom rope, slyly grabbing his belt on the way out and scampers up the ramp with his tail between his legs. As the champion sits at the top of the ramp, clutching his belt like a newborn baby, Y2J climbs to the top rope and taunts the champion trying to get him to return to the ring. The music of General Manger, John ‘Bradshaw’ Layfield plays as he steps out onto the stage, alongside CM Punk.
JBL: Looks like you two can’t wait to go nose to nose. Y’know what, I love it, the fans love it, so I‘m gonna make it happen…tonight!
Crowd pop huge as Chris Jericho smiles widely, CM Punk looking less than impressed
JBL: In tonight’s Main Event, the DTF Champion, CM Punk will team up with the Rated R Superstar, Edge in a tag team match against their Origin opponents, Y2J, Chris Jericho and The Guru Of Greatness, John Morrison!
Crowd pop big once again as we go to commercial with a close up of Chris Jericho playing to the crowd
[Commercial Break]
The United Kingdom & Black Power vs. The Gold Standard & Motor City Machineguns
This match was just like anyone would expect, pure pandemonium. There were a lot of blind tags and shifty looks early-on, with every men getting in the ring for at least a brief period of time. Eventually this stopped and the team of minorities gained control, working over Chris Sabin. Booker T and MVP tried to keep tagged each other in and out while this beat down took place before Nigel McGuinness had enough and tagged himself in. This caused an altercation with Booker T, the two almost coming to blows. This cost the team dearly, as Sabin gained the wherewithal to make it across the ring and tag in Shelton Benjamin. Benjamin did the typical baby face hot tag routine, delivering a lot of flippy moves to McGuinness. Shelton worked with his partners to work over Nigel, until McGuinness ducked a kick and Shelton hit Chris Sabin straight in the face. Shelley immediately stepped into the ring and shoved Shelton, who shoved him right back. Nigel moved over to his corner and tried to tag in Sheamus, but instead got a slap to the face courtesy of MVP, who then climbed into the ring and tried to roll-up Benjamin. The pin though is broke up by Nigel and all hell breaks loose from there. A four team brawl breaks out, and the referee declares the match a no contest.
No Contest
The teams fight but eventually the ring is cleared, the final team standing, Black Power. They begin to yell nonsensical negro jibber jabber like ‘Dat’s what I’m talking ‘bout!’ and ‘Hell yeah!’ MVP climbs onto the turnbuckle and gloats as Booker performs an old school Spinaroonie.
[Commercial Break]
We return to the arena to see Rey Mysterio standing in the ring, preparing o face off with The Samoan Submission Machine, Samoa Joe.
Samoa Joe vs. Rey Mysterio
Early on in the match it looked like Samoa Joe was going to squash Rey, both in the smark sense of the word and the literal sense of the word. All the pent up aggression and frustration came out immediately, the Samoan Submission Machine going wild on his much smaller opponent. Joe beat Mysterio from pillar to post, but he hung on and managed to get back in the contest. Joe’s aggression came back to bite him, as Mysterio stepped out of the way and Joe crashed into the turnbuckle, giving him the first chance to attack. Rey used his speed to gain an advantage, the crowd getting behind the little Mexican jumping bean. Joe got back in control though, catching Mysterio as he attempted his trademark bulldog and countering it into a Coquina Clutch. It looked like the end, but somehow Rey managed to inch his way over to the ropes and force a break. Joe tried to keep up the attack, but his adversary utilised a drop toehold before hitting the 619! Before Rey could make a pin though, Jimmy Jacobs ran to the ring and brutally attacked his Origin opponent, causing a DQ.
Rey Mysterio wins by DQ
Jacobs continues his beat down of Rey, Samoa Joe also joining in. As Jacobs and Joe stomp on the body of Mysterio, The Jamaican Sensation, Kofi Kingston, charges to the ring. He takes Jacobs down with the epic post-match clothesline, which has such amazing power it sends Jacobs flying through the ropes. Samoa Joe sends his fist flailing wildly at his Pay-Per-View opponent, but Kingston ducks and takes down the tired Joe with a dropsault. The Samoan Submission Machine climbs back to his feet, but Kingston hit’s the Trouble In Paradise! Joe hit’s the canvas again before rolling under the bottom rope, Kofi helping Rey up and raising his arm, the camera getting shots of both Jimmy Jacobs and Samoa Joe as we go to commercial.
[Commercial Break]
When we come back from commercial, the ring is set up with all the usual we see for The Dirt Sheet. The Miz is sitting on one of the two seats set up in the ring with a microphone in hand, wearing his usual metro-wanker attire.
Miz: Welcome to The Dirt Sheet! I am your AWESOME host, the one and only, The Miz! As you, my adoring fans must know from my following my tweets, I’ve been training extra hard this week. But no, I haven’t been training my body extra hard, I’ve been training my brain. You see, I’ve been struggling to figure out who the hell Bryan Danielson is. The Best Wrestler in the world? Really? REALLY? Beating a bunch of fat pale losers in front of 12 toothless hicks in a bingo hall makes you the best wrestler in the world? The difference between The Miz and Bryan Danielson is, thousands of people pack into the arenas that I wrestle in, while only a handful of fat virgins squeeze into the high school gymnasiums which Bryan Danielson calls home. Now you’re up to speed with this no-name loser, let’s bring him out. Without further ado, Bryan Danielson
‘The Final Countdown’ plays over the PA system to a bit of a pop, Bryan Danielson coming down the ramp and stepping into the ring with Miz
Miz: Take a seat
Danielson: I’d prefer to stand
Miz: Suit yourself then Brent, or whatever the hell your name is, we’ll get this show on the road. This Sunday at Origin, you’ve got the biggest match of your whole feeble career. You have the privilege of going one-on-one with the pure awesomeness of The Miz, how long do you think you’ll last before you go down for the three count. Three minutes? Five minutes?
Danielson: I think after about 5 seconds I’ll have The Miz on the mat screaming for his mommy like a little girl.
Big pop from the crowd, as The Miz’s demeanour goes from arrogance to anger
Danielson: See, that’s the REAL difference between The Miz and Bryan Danielson. I’m a wrestler, you’re just a prima donna with an ego much bigger than his talent. At Origin, your ego’s going to be deflated to the size of a pea when I make you tap out
Miz: Make ME tap out? You think you can make The Miz tap out? Don’t make me laugh! I’m Chick Magnet, I’m Th-
Danielson: Shut up!
Once again, there’s a big pop for Miz getting owned
Danielson: God, do you ever shut your mouth? I may not be as high profile as you, but at least I let my actions in the ring speak for me rather than having a constant case of verbal diarrhoea about how great I am
Miz: If you were as awesome as me, you’d be letting the whole world know it. Because I’m The Miz and I’m awe-
Danielson: Annoying?
Miz has seemingly had enough of Bryan shutting him down as he stands up and gets in Danielson’s face before shoving him back. Danielson remains calm, before Miz slaps him across the face. Miz takes a step back as Bryan advances, before swiftly kicking him below the belt. Danielson falls to one knee as Miz cracks one of the chairs across Danielson’s back, sending The American Dragon down to the canvas. The crowd boo heavily as Miz lifts Danielson up to his feet, before dropping him straight back down with the Skull Crushing Finale. The Miz stands over the broken body of Bryan Danielson as he screams about how awesome he is off the mic.
[Commercial Break]
Zack Ryder vs. Hernandez
With Hernandez making his DTF debut and Zack Ryder yet to notch up a win, both men wanted to get into early. After the lock-up, Hernandez was the first to impress when he swatted Ryder away like a fly, sending him back into the turnbuckle. Hernandez played to the crowd some more with a few big power moves, a roar going up with each feat of strength. Hernandez decided to try to finish it off too early, attempting the Border Toss only to have Zack counter into a neck breaker. Ryder then got a turn to show his stuff, beginning to work over the neck and head of his opponent. He used a lot of strikes followed by various holds, before using some more flamboyant moves. Zack hit a forearm from the second rope, before trying to pin Hernandez with a cocky boot on the chest to a chorus of boos. Hernandez of course kicked out, Zack tried to lift him up afterwards but Hernandez quickly hit a hard right hand which sends Ryder staggering, before catching him off guard and hitting the Border Toss.
Hernandez wins by pinfall
Zack is up very soon after the 3, Hernandez’s victory not all that convincing. Nonetheless, his hand is raised as Zack walks down the ramp looking sour.
[A video package is played highlighting the previous matches of the United States Championship Tournament in chronological order. The end of the video sees footage of Hero and Styles having their hands raised before we cut to a graphic for their match at Origin]
Back in the arena, it’s time for the contract signing as John ‘Bradshaw’ Layfield stands in the ring with a table, glamorously covered in a black cloth. AJ Styles comes down first and takes his seat, followed closely by Chris Hero. Styles promptly signs before sliding the contract across the table to Chris Hero. He to signs the contract, as JBL picks up his microphone
JBL: Well it’s official boys! Now before we get to Origin, have you got any final words to say to each other?
As one would expect, Chris Hero has plenty to say, picking up the microphone as JBL takes the contract and moves to the backstage area.
Hero: Take a good look folks, because come next week, you’re not going to be seeing me without championship gold around my waist for the rest of my career. At Origin, The Greatest Athlete In The World will also become the greatest champion in the world. I’m surprised you were so eager to sign that contract AJ, I don’t know why people keep putting their hands up to get their asses kicked by me. First I annihilated former World Heavyweight Champion, then it was former Intercontinental Champion, Kofi Kingston, I thought people would’ve just given up on trying to beat me. But I guess if that stupid redneck brain of yours won’t understand the fact there’s no chance in hell of you ever beating me, I’ll have to smash some sense into it.
Styles: Chris, if I’d listened to people like you I wouldn’t be in this business. I wouldn’t be a multiple time tag team, X division and world heavyweight champion. For my whole life people have been telling me that I can’t do this, I can’t do that, but I just ignored ‘em all. ‘Cause you may not believe in me, but I believe in me and all these people in the crowd believe in me, they believe in AJ Styles.
Hero: Well isn’t that heartwarming. Poor little sensitive AJ overcoming the odds to become a mediocre professional wrestler. That’s the difference between you and me AJ. I always knew I was great, and everyone around me knew I was great. Everybody was telling me about how I could do whatever I want in life, because I quite simply dominated at everything. While the sissies like AJ Styles sat in the back being upset with their absolute failure at life, I was on the field, winning hockey games, football games, basketball games, baseball games, you name it, I was the best at it.
Styles: You’re the kind of arrogant ass who I just love proving wrong. I’ve faced a lot of guys like you in my career and I’ve beaten them all. Chris, you’re not going to be any different
AJ drops the mic and after a brief staredown with Hero, turns around and begins to leave the ring. Chris is quick to spot his opportunity though, kicking Styles in the side of the ribs as he leaves the ring and beginning to beat him down viciously before dragging The Phenomenal One over to the table they used to sign the contract, and putting him through it with a Hero’s Welcome!! Hero looks down on his dirty work proudly, before signalling he’ll become United States Champion at Origin.
[Commercial Break]
Main Event
Edge & DTF Champion, CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho & John Morrison
This match got plenty of time and is filled with plenty of action, as the two marquee matches at Origin are get the final chance to get the fans interested in the Pay-Per-View. Early-on CM Punk didn’t want anything to do with Y2J, tagging out to Edge whenever Jericho entered the ring. Eventually the heel team gained the advantage when Edge dodged a Lionsault. Punk was quick to tag in after this, working over a weakened Jericho. Morrison was kept out of the match for what seemed like forever, as Edge and Punk methodically work over the body of Y2J. Whenever it looked like John was going to get back into the match, the non-legal man would distract the referee so the tag didn’t count. This occurred 2 or 3 times until on the next time Edge and Punk attempted this tactic, Morrison was blocked by the referee, Chris Jericho dived out of the way of an attempted spear by Edge, causing him to hit CM Punk! Y2J hit Edge with a running enzuigiri, before he managed to get back to his corner and tag in John Morrison to a big pop. JoMo did the typical baby face hot tag routine, getting the fans behind him as he attacked both competitors. He tried to finish it with a Moonlight Drive, but Edge countered and the heels were back in control. The Rated R Superstar went for a spear - only to have The Guru Of Greatness dive out of the way! Edge and Morrison both make tags and roll out of the ring as CM Punk and Chris Jericho do battle. The finish finally came as Punk tried for the GTS. Jericho delivered an amazing counter though, when CM Punk lifted him up he managed to transition that into a Codebreaker!! The Shaman Of Sexy swiftly ran around and pulled Edge off the apron as Jericho made the cover and gaining the three count.
Chris Jericho & John Morrison win by pinfall
Joey Styles talks up Chris Jericho and John Morrison having their opponents numbers heading into Origin as Edge and Punk try and regain some composure on the outside floor. Chris Jericho and John Morrison celebrate in the ring as the show finishes.
[End]
----
[Final Card]
Origin
January 24, 2010
Main Event
DTF Championship
CM Punk (c) vs. Chris Jericho
John Morrison vs. Edge
DTF United States Championship Tournament
Grand Final
Chris Hero vs. AJ Styles
The Miz vs. Bryan Danielson
DTF Tag Team Championship
Fatal 4 Way Elimination
The United Kingdom vs. Black Power vs. The Gold Standard vs. Motor City Machineguns
Jimmy Jacobs vs. Rey Mysterio
Kofi Kingston vs. Samoa Joe
