Was gonna wait till tomorrow or Monday, but I thought I better post it before I change my mind.
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DTF Monday Night Explosion
January 4, 2010
Episode 1
Pyros, video, we all know what happens at the start of a wrestling show, why should I have to describe it. Joey Styles says some stuff and the show begins.
Samoa Joe makes the first entrance in Destined to Fail, for an opening round match in the DTF United States Championship Tournament. This isn’t pussy Joe, it’s hardcore gonna kill all you motherfuckers Joe. He gets in the ring, bubbling to the brim with intensity. In contrast to his opponent however, who comes jumping to the ring with a huge smile like he was just passing the dutchy to the left hand side backstage. It is of course Kofi Kingston, the Jamaican Sensation.
DTF United States Championship Tournament
Opening Round
Samoa Joe vs. Kofi Kingston
As Kingston climbs into the ring, he is kneed in the side by Samoa Joe. Joe drags Kingston over to the turnbuckle by the hair, before violently tossing him into said turnbuckle and unleashing with several powerful punches to the mid-section of Kofi, the intense Joe obviously having a gameplan from the onset to work over the body of Kofi. Joe then pulls Kofi slowly out of the corner, before attempting to lift him onto his shoulders for a Samoan Drop. Kingston frantically delivers elbows into the side of Joe’s head which causes the Samoan Submission Machine to drop Kofi behind him. The Jamaican Sensation waits for Joe to turn around before leaping high into the air and connecting with a dropkick to the face of Joe. The big islander is stunned and staggered but still on his feet, as Kofi bounces off the ropes and attempts a cross body. Joe is prepared however, and kicks Kingston in the sternum as he is in mid-air, sending the wind right out of him.
As Kofi struggles to breath on the mat, Joe doesn’t relent, with another stiff looking kick to the ribs. He then bounces off the ropes and drops his elbow onto the mid-section of Kofi, sending all the weight of his huge frame on the weakened area, before going for the cover immediately after. One, Two - No!
Joe angrily gets to his feet and stomps hardly on the ribs of Kingston, to much boos from the crowd, before lifting Kofi up and delivering a ring shaking Samoan Drop, sure to rattle the ribs of his adversary. One, Two - No! Joe is even angrier this time, thinking he’d secured the victory. After some time spent punching the mat and kicking the bottom rope, once again he pulls Kingston up to his feet, lifting him up onto his shoulders for the final curtain, the Muscle Buster. Joe however is countered, as Kofi manages to roll off the back and get Samoa Joe into a backslide pin! One, Two, Three!!!
Kofi Kingston wins by pinfall
Advancing To Tournament Semi-Finals: Kofi Kingston
Kingston scrambles to his feet clutching his ribs as the referee raises his arm in victory, but Samoa Joe is beside himself. Joe shoves the referee out of the ring and tackles Kofi to the mat, sending fist after fist into the face of The Jamaican Sensation. Joe then locks Kingston into the Coquina Clutch, adding a body scissors to further damage the ribs of Kofi. We can see all the air being strangled out of Kingston as the referee does his feeble best to pry Joe off. Kingston is visibly unconscious before Samoa Joe finally lets go, medics rushing to the ring as DTF gets off to an inauspicious start. Samoa Joe storms out of the ring in a rage as we’re thrown to commercial so the medics can attend to Kingston.
[Commercial Break]
When we come back to see the man touted as The Greatest Athlete in The World, That Young Knockout Kid, Chris Hero. He steps into the ring with a microphone, set to address the crowd before his match against Rey Mysterio.
Hero: For the unfortunate few that don’t know me, my name is Chris Hero. That’s a name you better remember, because pretty soon everybody in the wrestling world is going to be talking about That Young Knockout Kid, Chris Hero…the GREATEST athlete in the entire world! I can do things inside, and outside, this ring that the rest of you fools can only dream of. I’m the most physically gifted human being in the history of the universe, I can wrestle better than Bret Hart, I can hit harder than Mike Tyson, I can fly higher than a 747, I can move faster than Usain Bolt, I am quite simply, the greatest athlete in the entire world! And for those who doubt my prowess, you better pay VERY close attention to my match tonight.
The crowd boo the pompous Hero as Booyaka 619 plays, fan favourite Rey Mysterio coming down to the ring
DTF United States Championship Tournament
Opening Round
Chris Hero vs. Rey Mysterio
As Mysterio stands across the other side of the ring approaching Hero, That Young Knockout Kid shows off with a forward handspring, getting right in the face of Mysterio. The crowd give Chris some more heat as he flexes his biceps, before pointing and laughing at the much smaller Mysterio. Rey starts off the action in the match swiftly after this with a kick to the hamstring of Hero, followed by a forearm to the face. Chris fires back with a forearm of his own, before trying to Irish whip Rey into the corner. Mysterio counters and throws Chris towards the corner instead, but Hero shows his athleticism by using the momentum to jump up onto the top turnbuckle and backflip over the head of Mysterio.
Rey is caught off-guard and as he turns around is hit with a snap DDT courtesy of That Young Knockout Kid. Hero steps to the side of Rey’s body and leaps into the air, hitting Mysterio with a standing moonsault. One, Two - No! Rey kicks out. As Mysterio gets to his feet, Chris rolls forward across the canvas in another chauvinistic display of athleticism, before leaping up and dropkicking his opponent. Mysterio is quickly back to his feet but Hero keeps up his assault with a discus elbow to the back of the head and goes for another cover. One, Two - No! Rey kicks out
Hero signals the end as he places Rey in position for the Hero’s Welcome. Rey battles out though before he manages to hit it, delivering a hurracanrana which sends Chris onto the second rope, in perfect position for the 619! Rey bounces off the ropes and dials up, only for That Young Knockout Kid to duck out of the way. Rey doesn’t let that setback slow him down, as he hit’s a quick roundhouse kick to the back of Hero’s head, sending him tumbling outside the ring. The Master Of The 619 charges across the ring and springboards from the top rope, crashing right into Chris Hero! Both men are dazed and confused on the floor as the referee begins to count.
Rey is up first and rolls Hero into the ring, before climbing onto the apron and spring boarding from the top rope, hitting a leg drop on Hero. One, Two - No! As the referee is counting, we see Jimmy Jacobs sneak to ringside from the crowd, as Mysterio dropkicks The Greatest Athlete In The World in the back to set him up for the 619. But as Rey bounces off the ropes, Jacobs grabs his foot to stop him and distract him, ala the various SvR games. Mysterio turns around and takes a swipe at Jacobs but the distraction lasted long enough as the crafty Hero grabs Rey and hit’s the Hero’s Welcome! One, Two, Three!!
Chris Hero wins by pinfall
Advancing To Tournament Semi-Finals: Chris Hero
As Hero celebrates the biggest singles win of his career, Jacobs climbs inside the ring with a steel chair. After a brief stare down with Hero, that Young Knockout Kid says ‘He’s all yours’ as he leaves the ring. The crowd boo vigorously as Jacobs begins to slam the chair into the battered body of Mysterio multiple times, before he lays the chair on the mat and grabs Rey by the head. Jacobs moves over to the corner before hitting the End Time. Jimmy stands over the body of Rey, basking in the heat from the crowd, as we head to commercial
[Commercial Break]
We head backstage where we see DTF backstage interview Johnathan Johnson standing by with The Miz
Johnson: Miz, up next you face Bryan Danielson-
The Miz: Who?
Johnson: Bryan Danielson
The Miz: Who the hell is Bryan Danielson?
Johnson: Well, um, he’s your opponent in the tournament
The Miz: I know that you idiot. I mean who the hell is this loser? What’s his story? And why does he get the right to face the PURE AWESOMENESS of the Miz? I’m a god damn celebrity, he’s some no-name indy loser they found on the side of the road. Can’t they ever find somebody who will give me a challenge?
Johnson: So you think this is going to be an easy match?
The Miz: Every match is easy for The Miz, douchebag! I’m just surprised that I would be forced to face such a lowly opponent, when I should be competing for the DTF Championship. It’s like they don’t want me to destroy all of their precious main eventers. Well you know what Johnny? I’m not gonna let those losers backstage hold me back anymore. I’m going to go into that ring, beat this random within an inch, WITHIN AN INCH, of his life because I’m the Miz and I’m…AWESOME!!
Miz storms off screen as we go to commercial
[Commercial Break]
We return to see The Miz making his way into the ring for his match against Bryan Danielson. The American Dragon makes his way to the ring afterwards, to a lot more fanfare than Miz anticipated.
DTF United States Championship Tournament
Opening Round
The Miz vs. Bryan Danielson
It looks like the two superstars are going to shake hands, but Miz pulls his hand back at the last second and laughs cockily. After Miz’s laughter subsides, he and Danielson go to lock up. Miz obviously underrates Danielson, who quickly moves behind Miz and hits him with a hard german suplex. The two men get up to their feet and Bryan immeadiately cracks The Chick Magnet with a European uppercut, Mike Mizanin falling to the mat before rolling to the outside of the ring. He holds his jaw and is in an obvious state of shock at the ability of the American Dragon.
Danielson slides under the bottom rope to pursue Miz, who quickly runs around the corner and slides back into the ring. As Danielson slides back into the ring, The Chick Magnet begins to viciously stomp on his body, not giving Bryan a chance to get back in the match. Miz then grabs The American Dragon by the head and lifts him up, tossing him into the corner and beginning to unload with a series of lefts and rights to the body. Miz takes one mighty swing at the head of his adversary, but the attack is ducked and Bryan uses Miz’s momentum to swing him into the corner, before hitting a sizzling chop to the chest of the former reality star.
Miz stumbles out of the corner with a stinging red mark beginning to show on his chest, Danielson taking him down to the mat with a snap suplex before he goes for the cover, only to get a one count. The American Dragon doesn’t let up, putting Miz into a grounded crucifix before pounding elbow after elbow to the side of his skull. He goes for another cover but gets another two count.
In a move which pleases the crowd, who are now really getting behind Danielson, he goes to the top rope. The American Dragons emulates the late great Chris Benoit (we can say his name in DTF) with a flying headbutt, only for Miz to roll out of the way at the last second, Bryan crashing headfirst into the mat, a move that will probably cause him to kill his family one day. Miz decides to go for the finish now, pulling Danielson to his feet and placing him in position for the Skull Crushing Finale. Bryan fights out and tries to hit Miz with a forearm, only for the Reality Star to duck out of the way and place Danielson into a roll-up. The referee begins to count, but doesn’t see Miz has a handful of tights! One, Two, Three!
The Miz wins by pinfall
Advancing To Tournament Semi-Finals: The Miz
Miz quickly rolls out of the ring and runs up the ramp, Danielson standing on the top rope trying to goad him back into the ring. We hear Miz standing at the ramp screaming ‘I’m AWESOME!’ as he signifies he’s going to become United States Champion as we go to commercial
[Commercial Break]
We return as we see Shelton Benjamin wandering around backstage before entering a locker room, with the ‘GOLDUST’ emblazoned across the front.
Benjamin: Dude!
The camera peers inside as we see a naked Goldust, from behind, pulling on his wrestling trunks over his gold arse. Goldust storms over to Shelton and plants a firm slap across his face.
Goldust: Shelton! Didn’t your mother ever teach you to knock before entering!?
Benjamin: Yo dawg what the hell!
Goldust: I was na…n…n…n, I was n…, I was in my birthday suit
Benjamin: We’ve got a match man, just get ready
Goldust: I’m ready, there’s just one thing you have to do for me first
Benjamin: (sigh) What?
Goldust: I showed you mine, now you have to show me yours
Benjamin: Show you my what?
Goldust: You know, your p…p…p…, your pe -
Benjamin: Whoa, I gotchu! No way, absolutely no way in hell that is EVER gonna happen, so just get your head in the game, come on we gotta go
Shelton leaves the room rather abruptly, Goldust looks rather confused
Goldust: He must have a really big p…p…p…personal locker room. What a w…w…w…, what an odd fellow
There’s a smattering of giggles in the crowd at my failed attempt at comedy as Goldust follows behind Shelton slowly as the team moves down the hall for their match
[Commercial Break]
We return to the show to see Shelton and Goldust standing in the ring, Shelton saying something to Goldust about focus. Sheamus & Nigel make their entrance now, looking very confident.
The United Kingdom vs. The Gold Standard
The match starts off between Sheamus and Benjamin, the pale ranga trying to grab Benjamin early-on, only for the Gold Standard to use his speed to evade capture. Shelton eventually acts like the red flag as he forces Sheamus to run into the corner by quickly stepping out of the way. Benjamin tags in Goldust to keep Sheamus locked in their corner. Goldust and Shelton hit some body shots before The Gold Standard runs back and delivers a Stinger Splash to Sheamus before stepping out of the ring, The Celtic Warrior stumbling away from the corner and getting hit with a spinebuster courtesy of Goldust. He covers, but just after one the powerful Sheamus throws him into the air like a ragdoll to kick out.
Goldust climbs to his feet and tags in Shelton, who quickly jumps into the ring and tries to stop Sheamus from making a tag. Shelton goes for a kick but is stopped, only to perform a dragon whip. Sheamus is prepared though and dodges the move, Benjamin crashing to the mat, being left at the mercy of The United Kingdom. The Celtic Warrior drags Benjamin to his corner and tags in Nigel McGuinness. Nigel unloads with some stomps, as does Sheamus before he leaves the ring, covering Shelton for a one count.
McGuinness lifts Benjamin to his feet and hits him with a cross chop to the throat as he tags Sheamus back in, the two Brits whipping Shelton into the ropes and hitting a double back body drop only for Shelton to land on his feet behind them! The crowd pop huge at this amazing display of athleticism, Shelton making the tag to Goldust without The United Kingdom even realizing. Nigel turns around and is quickly met with a Paydirt from Benjamin, as Goldust runs into the ring and takes Sheamus down with a clothesline. The Celtic Warrior hops right back up but is sent straight back down with another clothesline. Sheamus is beginning to get to his feet before he’s taken down by Goldust with a bulldog. The Bizarre One covers for a two count. He lifts Sheamus to his feet for the Golden Age (Reverse STO for all you newbs with lack of Goldust knowledge), but Sheamus hits some elbows to the head and fights out. He throws Goldust to the ropes and tries to hit him with The Celtic Kick, but the veteran dodges the move and manages to hit the Golden Age! Nigel runs into the ring but is just a second too late, Goldust getting the three count!!!
The Gold Standard win by pinfall
Nigel and Sheamus, even Shelton, are shocked at the victory. When Goldust gets up even he is amazed he got the victory. The referee raises their hands, when we hear the familiar ‘Can you dig it, suckaaaaaaa’ playing over the PA system, Booker T’s music hitting and Black Power coming down to the ring, holding lead pipes in hand
Booker T: What the hell is this shit?
MVP: Yo, I have had enough of being held down because of colour!
Booker T: All of the people out the back, all the people in this arena, all the people watching at home, you’re all RACISTS
MVP: Word. Except of you a brother, in which case, you’ll definitely be agreeing with what we go to say
Booker T: We’re both great wrestlers, but y’know what? We don’t get a match. We don’t even get any interview time. Who does? The palest whiteboys the company can find, even a freakin’ yellow guy. The only way a brother can get a match is if they do what Shelton did, trade in his negro heritage, dye his hair blonde and team up with somebody who isn’t black
MVP: This is disgraceful. I thought this was the 21s century, but apparently DTF is still in the dark ages. They still be treating us like slaves just because of the colour of our skin
Booker T: Yo dawgs, listen up cos I’m bout to holler something you don’t wanna miss. We aren’t going to be oppressed no more. I have a dream too, and that dream is too see all these racist mofo’s get exactly what’s comin’ to them! Can you dig that, suckas?
MVP suddenly swings his pipe and takes out Nigel, quickly followed by Goldust whilst Booker T simultaneously clobbers Sheamus. They once again take the microphones as Shelton stands, ready to fight
Booker T: Yo dawg, we saved you for last for a reason
MVP: You are the most disgraceful peace of crap on the planet, you a white sympathizer
Booker T: You traded in your negro card so you could fit in with these crackers, and you gonna pay dawg
Booker T and MVP both target Benjamin now, beating him down with their pipes as blood begins to spew from his forehead. Eventually they stop as the two superstars both stand in the centre of the ring, raising their fists in the air in the Black Power salute.
[Commercial Break]
We return to see Zack Ryder standing in the ring, as AJ Styles makes his entrance.
DTF United States Championship
Opening Round
AJ Styles vs. Zack Ryder
This match is essentially a squash, which I don’t really want to write. Zack gets some offence in early-on, but after a minute or two AJ turns the tables and it’s all one way traffic from there. Styles hit’s all his signature moves and then gets the pin with the Styles Clash
AJ Styles win by pinfall
Advancing To Tournament Semi-Finals: AJ Styles
Joey reminds us that up next is our Main Event. OH MY GOD!
[Commercial Break]
Main Event
DTF Championship
Fatal 4 Way
CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho vs. John Morrison vs. Edge
The bell rings and the match is underway. Every man is on edge at first, not moving one way or the other. Suddenly, it all explodes. Morrison and Punk begin to trade flurries of fists while Jericho and Edge do the same on the other side of the ring. Punk forces Morrison down onto the bottom turnbuckle and begins to stomp viciously on the head and upper body of The Shaman Of Sexy. Y2J delivers a hard forearm which stumbles Edge, which he follows up with a springboard dropkick from the second rope. As Jericho begins to climb to his feet, Punk grabs him in a front facelock and begins to slam his knees into the facial features of The Ayatollah Of Rock n Rolla. Punk then clotheslines Jericho over the top rope, before flying through the ropes with a suicide dive. When the two opponents get to their feet they have no time to catch their breath, as John Morrison soars from the top rope and hit’s a Shooting Star Press onto both of them, all three men crashing to the outside floor!
Edge, being The Ultimate Opportunist, quickly grabs John Morrison and rolls him inside the ring before going for the cover. He only gets a two count, so he moves over to the corner and prepares to hit The Guru Of Greatness with his finishing move, the spear. The Rated R Superstar sprints forward, but Morrison leapfrogs over his head and Edge crashes face first into the second turnbuckle, overselling the move and bouncing back a fair way. As Edge sits up, Morrison bounces off the ropes and hits him with a hard knee to the face before going for the cover. One, Two - and Morrison is pulled out of the ring by CM Punk. Punk then whips John into the steel steps, The Shaman Of Sexy crashing backfirst into them, knocking them off their hinges on impact.
The Straightedge Savior has no time to capitalize though, as he is hit with a running bulldog by Chris Jericho. Y2J decides it’s time to use some weapons, which the crowd go nuts for, as he pulls a table out from under the ring and sets it up behind him. Jericho climbs onto the apron to go and focus on Edge, but he doesn’t realize the Rated R Superstar had already come to. The Ultimate Opportunist takes advantage of another great opportunity, spearing Jericho through the second rope and through the table that was just set up!! The crowd go wild for the table spot, as usual, as all four competitors are once again out on the floor.
Morrison and Punk both get to their feet quicker than the others. Punk charges at The Guru Of Greatness, but receives a drop toe hold that sends him face first onto the steel steps. Morrison then climbs up onto the apron as The straightedge Savior climbs to his feet. He springboards off the second rope with a moonsault, but Punk dodges the move and Morrison lands hard on the outside floor! Punk then throws his old enemy inside the ring and covers, only to get a two count. CM Punk then begins to slowly lift the deadweight of Morrison onto his shoulders for the GTS - but Edge slides back into the ring and hits him with the spear!! One, Two, Thr - No! Somehow, Jericho managed to make it there just in time, slamming his forearms into Edge’s back and breaking up the pin.
Y2J decides it’s time for him to try and get the win, placing Edge into the Walls of Jericho!! The Rated R Superstar is squirming and writhing in pain, but he can’t seem to make an inch. Just when it looks like The Ultimate Opportunist is going to tap out, John Morrison hits the Flying Chuck to the face of Y2J, breaking the hold and leaving all four men exhausted on the mat. Morrison rolls over to Punk and covers. One, Two - No! The Shaman Of Sexy crawls over to Edge, but still only gets a two count. He sees Jericho stirring and stomps on his body before dragging him over to the corner and even with possible broken ribs from the failed moonsault, hits the Starship Pain. It takes him a few moments to cover as he winces in pain, but eventually he tosses an arm over Jericho. One, Two, Thre - No!!! Chris gets his feet on the rope at two and eighty two eighty thirds, Morrisons dream of becoming a world champion snatched away from him at the last second.
As Morrison and Jericho lie almost lifeless on the mat, Punk and Edge begin to still. Edge rolls under the bottom rope and throws a steel chair into the ring, just as Punk is getting to his feet. The Rated R Superstar grabs Punk by the head and sets him up for an Edgecution onto the chair - but The Straightedge Savior back body drops Edge over his head and saves himself! Punk is exhausted as well as the crowd boo, the first ever Straight Edge World Champion lifting Edge up and hitting the GTS! Edge is busted open by the move, and his limp body rolls out of the ring. Before Punk can relax though, Chris Jericho runs forward and attempts a Codebreaker. Punk catches him though and dumps him over the top rope, leaving the final two superstars as Punk and Morrison.
CM Punk performs a throat slit taunt, the crowd giving him lots of heat for this, as he slowly raises The Shaman Of Sexy. Playing to the crowd doesn’t pay off though, as JoMo gets Punk into a small package!! One, Two, Thre - No! Once again, Morrison comes within a fraction of a millisecond of becoming DTF Champion for the first time. John is beside himself as he scoops up Punk and puts him in position for the Moonlight Drive. Quick as lightning Punk manages to counter, despite his intense exhaustion, and gets Morrison onto his fireman’s carry. GTS connects! Punk falls to the side, almost in as much pain from the move as Morrison is. The Straightedge Savior eventually manages to move over to a lifeless Morrison. One, Two, Thre - No! Y2J is once again the man who saves the match, managing to move Morrison’s foot onto the rope just in time and point it out to the referee.
Y2J slides back into the ring, before he drags Punk over to the centre of the ring. The King Of The World goes for the Lionsault, but Punk sticks his knees up! Somehow though, Jericho avoids the contact and grabs the legs of Punk instead, trying to roll him over for the Walls of Jericho. Punk counters into a small package! One, Two, Thr - No! Jericho kicks out!! Both men climb to their feet, Y2J slowly approaching Punk, only to get whacked in the face by the steel chair brought into the ring by Edge earlier. Jericho is groggy as hell as Punk follows this up with a kick to the balls to add insult to injury, Y2J falling to the mat. Punk lifts up Jericho and hits the GTS! There’s noone even remotely ready to break the pin up, as Morrison and Edge are both near unconscious. One, Two, Three!!
CM Punk wins by pinfall
NEW DTF Champion: CM Punk
The crowd boo heavily as CM Punk raises his arms in victory, climbing to the top rope with the championship belt in hand and confetti raining from the ceiling as the show ends.
[End]
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Origin
January 24, 2010
DTF United States Championship Tournament
Grand Final
Chris Hero/Kofi Kingston vs. AJ Styles/The Miz
DTF Tag Team Championship
TBD
. So, apart from the nickname shizz, good match