WWF World Champion: Hulk Hogan-23/1/84
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Randy Savage-8/2/86
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Hart Foundation-7/2/87
WWF SATURDAY'S NIGHT MAIN EVENT
MARCH 14TH, 1987
DETROIT, MI
JOE LOUIS ARENA
-Hogan says in the battle royal he has no friends in there. The main objective is to get to Andre for what he did. He broke the rules dude, so there are no rules anymore. It'll be just you and me.
-Bobby says Andre has his eyes and eventually his hands on Hogan
-Liz says this is the scariest night of her life being a prize.
-Jimmy says Tito and Spivey are also scared to death
-Jake says Damien hasn't eaten in ten days and he's going to feast on 400 pounds of white meat known as King Kong Bundy.
in the back, Hogan says he loves living in the danger zone and any time and anyplace he could, he's getting Andre whenever he can. He's got his eyes set on him and member of the Heenan Family.
In the back, Gene is with Randy and Liz. Randy refuses to let her speak, yeah. He's psyched up, yeah. He could slap Gene right now for saying she's more than a manger. He's going to take that hairy bozo and hurt him real bad. He tries to make Liz leave with him, but Gene says she walks in last. Randy says rules are meant to be broken like neck, and he'll see her out there.
In the back, Steele finds Liz and keeps saying "manager" and "Steele's manager". Bye-Bye.
Match#1 Randy Savage (c) w/Miss Elizabeth vs George Steele (WWF Intercontinental Championship - Winner Gets Miss Elizabeth)
Randy is once again tasked with 4 minutes to get anything worth a damn out of this hairy bozo, and he does his absolute best to make it work because he's a lunatic who just makes shit work. He hits him from behind and tries to leave with Liz, but Steamer runs down and blocks his path and forces him back into the ring. Not fair at all tbh. Liz is made to sit in a giant lifeguard chair Randy bumps like mad and works hard as possible, and it's perfectly fun and good enough for this horrible feud. He eats a ton of a shit (and the buckles when Steele shoves them down his throat). Steele gets distracted by Liz being the best, and Randy is able to hit Steel with the chair and beats him by countout.
*1/2
Post match, Steele beats him up and chases him off. He gets a giant Liz poster and hugs it.
In a cut in, Hogan screams Andre over and over in between other members of the Family.
Match#2 20 Man Battle Royal
Hercules, Andre The Giant, Ax and B. Brian Blail, Billy Jack Haynes, Blackjack Mulligan Butch Reed, Haku and Hillbilly Jim, Hulk Hogan, Jim Brunzell, Koko B. Ware, Lanny Poffo, Nikolai Volkoff, Paul Orndorff, Ron Bass, Sika, Smash, Tama & The Honky Tonk Man are all in this. The main focus is Andre and Hogan, so WWF shows Andre is a FORCE OF A NATURE as within a minute he murders everyone with nasty headbutts and amazing strikes. It's easy to forget that Andre is Andre when's he's been gone full time for a year, but holy shit he's the best. Hogan fights all the heels on one side of the ring and tosses HTM out first with a killer slam to the floor. hahahahahahah. Andre hurls Sika out to the floor like he's nothing. Bass and Jack finally fight, and it's pretty good for the stuff we get. Andre kills Haku and throws him out. HE HEADBUTTS POFFO AND BUSTS HIS HEAD OPEN AND THROWS HIM TO THE FLOOR. FUCK YEAH, ANDRE. Poffo is dead and has to be helped out on a stretcher and he's covered in blood. Hogan pushes Bass over and out. Andre hiptosses Blackjack out. Jesse says he's never seen Andre throw people out this fast. Hogan gets rid of Volkoff. Andre throws Blair out. ANDRE SQUASHES KOKO'S HEAD WITH HIS BOOT. ANDRE AND HOGAN FINALLY MEET AND PUNCH THE HELL OUT OF EACH OTHER. The heels cut it off, sadly. But Hogan fights them off and throws Wonderful out. ANDRE HEADBUTTS HOGAN IN THE BACK OF THE SKULL AND THROWS HIM OUT. HOLY SHIT. ANDRE SHURGS AND LOOKS LIKE HE COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT. GOD BLESS. Andre throws Brunzells out, and then all the heels and faces swarm him and finally push him over and out. Everyone starts throwing everyone out in quick fashion, and Herc gets rid of BJH last to win.
**3/4
In the back, Andre says it only took one giant to get rid of Hogan, while it took 8 men to push him out. Bobby walks on and says Hogan was hiding behind everyone, and Andre walked through them and busted him up and threw him out. He's going to become the next champion of the world.
In the back, Jake again says Damien hasn't eaten in a week. It's his dinner time.
Match#3 Jake Roberts vs King Kong Bundy w/Bobby Heenan
Fuck yeah. Jake tries for the arm to keep the monster close to him and hit him when he can, but Bundy's arm is a trunk and hard to hold onto by anyone. Jake instead switches to kicking out the leg to chop him down, and he gets pretty far with it, but Bundy is still able to hit him hard and beat him worse than he's getting hurt. Jake fights back and kills him with the running knee and goes for Damien, but Bobby steals it and runs away. We come back from break where Jake has the bag back somehow, and Bundy attacks and controls again in awesome form. Bundy goes for the Avalanche, but Jake moves and Bundy EATS the corner and takes a nasty bump. Jake mounts another comeback, but he goes for the bag and shoves the ref when he tries to stop him, and he's DQ
**1/2
Post match, Jake DDTs Bundy and gets Damien and holds the ring.
Match#4 The Hart Foundation (c) w/Jimmy Hart & Danny Davis vs Danny Spivey & Tito Santana (WWF World Tag Team Championships)
Assuming Mike is thankfully gone and now Spivey can do cool shit on his own. He has a sweet run of offence to start and throws the champs around the place, and looks really good again. HF cut him off and go to work, and it's a shorter control seg because TV, but still very sick as it always is because TV makes them work even harder than normal. Anvil breaks out some wild shit like a fucking slongshot splash!!!!!! Danny takes a great beating, and fuck anyone who thinks he sucks. Tito gets the hot tag and lights them up as only a fired up Tito can do to a man. He sends Anvil into Davis and kills him dead, AND HE KNOCKS BRET OUT WITH THE FOREARM AND LOCKS IN THE FIGURE FOUR. DAVIS GETS THE MEGAPHONE AND HITS HIM AND BRET CRAWLS ON TOP TO STEAL IT.
**3/4
In the back, Ricky says he breathes fire every night thinking about Randy.
Savage storms ringside and gets kicked out, so he joins commentary!!!!!
Match#5 Ricky Steamboat vs Iron Sheik
Ricky carries this fat bloated corpse for 3 minutes and change with killer offence and big bumps for any and all bad offence. He breaks out the chops to the head and nukes him with a massive one off the top to win.
*3/4
In the back, Hogan cries about getting thrown out from behind and says that's not how it's done. HAHAHAHAHHA FUCK OFF MAN. He calls Andre 15 years of obesity and he's going to beat him bad. He's going to feel Hulkamania and the pythons and the big brother upstairs on his side, He's gotta play this straight to have any chance to beat him. Hogan is a massive dick, and this is the first time i've really sided with the other guy.
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Randy Savage-8/2/86
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Hart Foundation-7/2/87
WWF SATURDAY'S NIGHT MAIN EVENT
MARCH 14TH, 1987
DETROIT, MI
JOE LOUIS ARENA
-Hogan says in the battle royal he has no friends in there. The main objective is to get to Andre for what he did. He broke the rules dude, so there are no rules anymore. It'll be just you and me.
-Bobby says Andre has his eyes and eventually his hands on Hogan
-Liz says this is the scariest night of her life being a prize.
-Jimmy says Tito and Spivey are also scared to death
-Jake says Damien hasn't eaten in ten days and he's going to feast on 400 pounds of white meat known as King Kong Bundy.
in the back, Hogan says he loves living in the danger zone and any time and anyplace he could, he's getting Andre whenever he can. He's got his eyes set on him and member of the Heenan Family.
In the back, Gene is with Randy and Liz. Randy refuses to let her speak, yeah. He's psyched up, yeah. He could slap Gene right now for saying she's more than a manger. He's going to take that hairy bozo and hurt him real bad. He tries to make Liz leave with him, but Gene says she walks in last. Randy says rules are meant to be broken like neck, and he'll see her out there.
In the back, Steele finds Liz and keeps saying "manager" and "Steele's manager". Bye-Bye.
Match#1 Randy Savage (c) w/Miss Elizabeth vs George Steele (WWF Intercontinental Championship - Winner Gets Miss Elizabeth)
Randy is once again tasked with 4 minutes to get anything worth a damn out of this hairy bozo, and he does his absolute best to make it work because he's a lunatic who just makes shit work. He hits him from behind and tries to leave with Liz, but Steamer runs down and blocks his path and forces him back into the ring. Not fair at all tbh. Liz is made to sit in a giant lifeguard chair Randy bumps like mad and works hard as possible, and it's perfectly fun and good enough for this horrible feud. He eats a ton of a shit (and the buckles when Steele shoves them down his throat). Steele gets distracted by Liz being the best, and Randy is able to hit Steel with the chair and beats him by countout.
*1/2
Post match, Steele beats him up and chases him off. He gets a giant Liz poster and hugs it.
In a cut in, Hogan screams Andre over and over in between other members of the Family.
Match#2 20 Man Battle Royal
Hercules, Andre The Giant, Ax and B. Brian Blail, Billy Jack Haynes, Blackjack Mulligan Butch Reed, Haku and Hillbilly Jim, Hulk Hogan, Jim Brunzell, Koko B. Ware, Lanny Poffo, Nikolai Volkoff, Paul Orndorff, Ron Bass, Sika, Smash, Tama & The Honky Tonk Man are all in this. The main focus is Andre and Hogan, so WWF shows Andre is a FORCE OF A NATURE as within a minute he murders everyone with nasty headbutts and amazing strikes. It's easy to forget that Andre is Andre when's he's been gone full time for a year, but holy shit he's the best. Hogan fights all the heels on one side of the ring and tosses HTM out first with a killer slam to the floor. hahahahahahah. Andre hurls Sika out to the floor like he's nothing. Bass and Jack finally fight, and it's pretty good for the stuff we get. Andre kills Haku and throws him out. HE HEADBUTTS POFFO AND BUSTS HIS HEAD OPEN AND THROWS HIM TO THE FLOOR. FUCK YEAH, ANDRE. Poffo is dead and has to be helped out on a stretcher and he's covered in blood. Hogan pushes Bass over and out. Andre hiptosses Blackjack out. Jesse says he's never seen Andre throw people out this fast. Hogan gets rid of Volkoff. Andre throws Blair out. ANDRE SQUASHES KOKO'S HEAD WITH HIS BOOT. ANDRE AND HOGAN FINALLY MEET AND PUNCH THE HELL OUT OF EACH OTHER. The heels cut it off, sadly. But Hogan fights them off and throws Wonderful out. ANDRE HEADBUTTS HOGAN IN THE BACK OF THE SKULL AND THROWS HIM OUT. HOLY SHIT. ANDRE SHURGS AND LOOKS LIKE HE COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT. GOD BLESS. Andre throws Brunzells out, and then all the heels and faces swarm him and finally push him over and out. Everyone starts throwing everyone out in quick fashion, and Herc gets rid of BJH last to win.
**3/4
In the back, Andre says it only took one giant to get rid of Hogan, while it took 8 men to push him out. Bobby walks on and says Hogan was hiding behind everyone, and Andre walked through them and busted him up and threw him out. He's going to become the next champion of the world.
In the back, Jake again says Damien hasn't eaten in a week. It's his dinner time.
Match#3 Jake Roberts vs King Kong Bundy w/Bobby Heenan
Fuck yeah. Jake tries for the arm to keep the monster close to him and hit him when he can, but Bundy's arm is a trunk and hard to hold onto by anyone. Jake instead switches to kicking out the leg to chop him down, and he gets pretty far with it, but Bundy is still able to hit him hard and beat him worse than he's getting hurt. Jake fights back and kills him with the running knee and goes for Damien, but Bobby steals it and runs away. We come back from break where Jake has the bag back somehow, and Bundy attacks and controls again in awesome form. Bundy goes for the Avalanche, but Jake moves and Bundy EATS the corner and takes a nasty bump. Jake mounts another comeback, but he goes for the bag and shoves the ref when he tries to stop him, and he's DQ
**1/2
Post match, Jake DDTs Bundy and gets Damien and holds the ring.
Match#4 The Hart Foundation (c) w/Jimmy Hart & Danny Davis vs Danny Spivey & Tito Santana (WWF World Tag Team Championships)
Assuming Mike is thankfully gone and now Spivey can do cool shit on his own. He has a sweet run of offence to start and throws the champs around the place, and looks really good again. HF cut him off and go to work, and it's a shorter control seg because TV, but still very sick as it always is because TV makes them work even harder than normal. Anvil breaks out some wild shit like a fucking slongshot splash!!!!!! Danny takes a great beating, and fuck anyone who thinks he sucks. Tito gets the hot tag and lights them up as only a fired up Tito can do to a man. He sends Anvil into Davis and kills him dead, AND HE KNOCKS BRET OUT WITH THE FOREARM AND LOCKS IN THE FIGURE FOUR. DAVIS GETS THE MEGAPHONE AND HITS HIM AND BRET CRAWLS ON TOP TO STEAL IT.
**3/4
In the back, Ricky says he breathes fire every night thinking about Randy.
Savage storms ringside and gets kicked out, so he joins commentary!!!!!
Match#5 Ricky Steamboat vs Iron Sheik
Ricky carries this fat bloated corpse for 3 minutes and change with killer offence and big bumps for any and all bad offence. He breaks out the chops to the head and nukes him with a massive one off the top to win.
*3/4
In the back, Hogan cries about getting thrown out from behind and says that's not how it's done. HAHAHAHAHHA FUCK OFF MAN. He calls Andre 15 years of obesity and he's going to beat him bad. He's going to feel Hulkamania and the pythons and the big brother upstairs on his side, He's gotta play this straight to have any chance to beat him. Hogan is a massive dick, and this is the first time i've really sided with the other guy.
