Donnie watches WWF 1981

[BigVanDonnie]

This is from Championship Wrestling, and i wish i had all the shows, but fuck it least i have access to big matches.

Match#1 Rick Martel & Tony Garea vs The Moondogs w/Lou Albano (WWF World Tag Team Championship-17/3/81)
The Dogs have some fun stooging and stalling for the heroes, and it's SO fucking nice to finally get a good tag match after what feels like 6 months. Lots of cool bumps for dudes as big as them, and it really sells how awesome the champs are for actually being able to throw them around. Rex takes a few nasty bumps including the famous Bret corner bump, which again for a dude as big him, is impressive as fuck. The shine maybe goes too long, but the Dogs thankfully cut them off and beats the piss out of Martel. They get mean with him and it's always great seeing a pretty boy get his ass handed to him by some ugly hillbillies. Martel's attempted comebacks rule as do the cutoffs. Garea's hot tag is good times, but it gets cut off quick for the finish. The ref gets bumped and the Dogs smash the bone over Tony's skull to steal the belts.
**3/4

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion; Bob Backlund- Since 20/2/78
WWF Intercontinental Champion; Pedro Morales-Since 8/12/80
WWF Tag Team Champions; The Moondogs -Since 17/3/81

WWF All Star Wrestling
March 21st, 1981
Hamburg PA

Tonight Bob Backlund vs The Hangman in a non title match.

Match#1Andre The Giant, Rick Martel & Tony Garea vs. Baron Mikel Scicluna, Johnny Rodz & The Black Demon
Having Andre as a partner is a cheat code and i love it. He's treated as the trump card and lets the boys do the majorty of the work, which is fine because it means more Martel, but like Andre murdering someone is always a blast. Martel gets isolated for a while and it's good shit again. Andre gets the hot tag and takes the 3 to task as only he can. He beats Rodz with a nasty suplex and a club to the chest
**

Match#2 King Kong Mosca (w/Captain Lou Albano) vs. Angelo Gomez
Goes 5 minutes for some reason, which is weird as Mosca really isn't the guy you give the time to. it's fun tho, but it does hit that point of let's take it home. Backbreaker ends it.
*

At ringside, Patterson interviews Albano and Mosca. Lou takes exception to the fans chanting "Pingpong" at Mosca, and he demands they stop. Mosca says he is the best wrestler in WWF and he doesn't worry about what the fans think about him, he does what he wants to and he's never been happier. He says he has Backlund and Pedro right where he wants them, and they can't run from him.

Match#3 Sgt. Slaughter (w/The Grand Wizard) vs. Steve King
Sarge is in an even worse mood than normal and really batters the shit out King. Patterson says he wishes he was in there right now fighting him. Slaughter breaks out a fucking dropkick of all things. What a fucking guy. Clutch ends it
**

Match#4 Bob Backlund (w/Arnold Skaaland) vs. The Hangman w/Freddie Blassie.
So awesome to have Bob on TV in one of the super rare world champs wrestling on WWF TV. Not even sure it'll become commonplace before the 90's with Flair and Bret changing that. Bob gives Hangy some stuff and he's ok, but you can see how and why he fell out of favour as quick as he did. Bob takes some bumps for him and makes him look as good as possible, before easily taking back over. He throws some GROSS headbutts and just batters him like only crazy Bob can. He wins with one of his super fancy rollups.
**1/4

 

[BigVanDonnie]

LIVE EVENTS


Bob Backlund (c) vs Stan Hansen (WWF World Championship-16/2/81)
BOB RUSHES HIM AND A KILLER FIGHT BREAKS OUT. BACKLUND HITS HIM IN THE FACE WITH THE BELT. The ref gets the title away from him, but Bob continues to go psycho on Stan and beats the ever-loving shit out of him. Stan pinballs himself all over the place and takes some insane bumps. He finally cuts him off and beats his ass in revenge. Lots of dirty offence like choking him and covering his entire head when he's got a sleeper locked in. Real lowdown shithead stuff. Bob's attempted comebacks are wonderful as always, he even throws a nasty headbutt to the stomach to try and get free but Stan holds on and keeps beating him down. Bob briefly fights back and manages to hit a piledriver, but Stan kicks out and sends Bob flying to the floor when he moves out of the way of a flying knee and Backlund splats on the ground. Bob is busted open and has an incredible sell where he rocks back and forth and is OUT of it. STAN KICKS HIM IN THE HEAD AND BEATS THE FUCK OUT OF THE CUT BUT IT BRINGS BOB BACK TO LIFE AND GOES CRAZY WITH PUNCHES AND THEY FALL TO THE FLOOR AND BOB RAMS HIS HEAD INTO THE POST IN REVENGE AND NOW STAN IS BUSTED OPEN. It turns into an amazing fight as both dudes punch the shit out of each other and won't stop, so the ref finally calls it
***1/2

But we aren't down as a bunch of refs swarm the ring and pull them apart, but it only works for a second as they both get free and beat the shit out of each other again. More refs get in the middle and finally manages to get them apart as they stare each down.

Before the next match, Patterson gets on the microphone and says he's never been more embarrassed in his life and he's challenging that RAT Sgt. Slaughter to a fight. Vince says Slaughter will be facing Andre tonight, and we might get our answer.

Bob Backlund (c) vs Stan Hansen (WWF World Championship-16/3/81)
Rematch time! They rush each other again and another maniac brawl breaks out, and it's one of the most hate filled and awesome as fuck brawls you'll see. A perfect followup to the last match. Loads of gross shots again and they fight for every inch of an advantage and it's Stan that gets his gross sleeper on first and he wreaks Bob again. Wonderful woozy selling from Backlund whenever he can free for a moment, and you can feel the fans hanging on every second. Bob manages to get lose and hits a piledriver that bends Stan's head and neck in a great visual. Bob keeps fighting for it and they both say "fuck it" and it turns into another great fight. in and out of the ring. They beat the shit out of each other and neither dude will stop coming forward. Stan blasts Backlund with the Lariat and sends him to the floor where he gets counted out
***

Post match, they have another awesome fight until Stan bails. Can't wait for the rematch.

Andre The Giant vs Sgt. Slaughter w/Grand Wizard (16/3/81)
Sarge tries to run for it but Andre gets him and beats the crap out of him. Some INSANE Bumps from Sarge has bounces all over the place and makes Andre look even more awesome than normal. Sarge gets a sleeper, AND ANDRE FUCKING PICKS HIM UP WITH NO HANDS AND HOLDS HIM THERE THROUGH THE POWER OF HIS NECK. DUDE WHAT THE FUCK. Andre completely mauls and batters him. Slaughter can slip in offence for brief moments, but Andre fights back and gets meaner each time. Slaughter manages to knock him down with a series of awesome punches and tires to come off the top, but Andre grabs him and launches him across the ring like he weighs nothing. Just a superhuman display of power. Sarge pulls the ref into front of Andre and he gets squashed and the match ends right away in a cool moment.
**3/4

Post match. Andre hits the biggest boot ever right to Slaughter's jaw.

Bob Backlund (c) vs Sgt Slaughter (WWF World Championship-Steel Cage 21/3/81)
Sarge tries to escape right away because he's the best, and Bob chases him and throws him back down because he doesn't understand why you would run from the chance to murder a man. Bob throws him all over the cage and Sarge takes some more maniac bumps for a dude his size. just flying around the place and dying on everything. Sarge cuts him off and throws him into the cage and beats the shit out of him. He tries to escape, but Bob grabs his legs and holds on for dear life and we get this incredible struggle between them, and it's such a cool thing that has been lost to time. Bob hits a wild piledriver to get some space and trues to escape, but Sarge stops him and slowly pulls him down and and both dudes collapse in exhaustion. They both try to escape again and they stop each other in more and more desperate ways, and it really sells how much energy both dudes have used to this point. Bob throws Sarge into again as hard as he can and Slaughter crumples on impact. Backlund keeps beating on him and Sarge is a bloody mess, and even has a cut on his arm to further put the match over. Sarge's selling is tremendous as is Bob going to work on the cut. Real dirtbag stuff from him. HE PUNCHES SARGE TOO HARD, THOUGH AND SLAUGHTER FALLS OUT THE DOOR AND DOWN THE STEPS AND BOB HAS TO DIVE TO GRABS HIS ANKLES AND DRAG HIM BACK IN. Sarge fights and fight to get free but Bob holds on and slams his knees and then his head against the cage and pulls him as hard as he can and we get an amazing shot of Sarge's fingers holding onto the cage, AND BOB KICKS THEM TO FINALLY MAKE HIM LET GO. HOLY SHIT. They're both dead and it reaches another wonderful point where they tiredly throw each other into it and both men look near death. They fight on top of it AND BOB SLAMS SARGE'S HEAD OFF THE TOP AND HE FALLS OFF AND GETS STUCK BETWEEN THE ROPES AND THE CAGE, AND BOB ESCAPES.
***3/4

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion; Bob Backlund- Since 20/2/78
WWF Intercontinental Champion; Pedro Morales-Since 8/12/80
WWF Tag Team Champions; The Moondogs -Since 17/3/81

WWF All Star Wrestling
March 28th, 1981
Hamburg PA

Match#1 King Kong Mosca w/Captain Lou Albano vs. Charlie Brown
Same as always, man. Backbreaker does the job
*

Match#2 The Moondogs vs Chris Canyon & Jack Carson
This gets nearly 10 fucking minutes in another insane choice. Love the dogs and all, but come on guys. Splash ends it
3/4*

At ringside, Patterson interviews the Dogs and Lou. Same funny stuff as always, but nothing new is being added, so whatever.

Match#3 The Great Yatsu vs. Larry Sharpe
Fuck Yeah! Larry guides the kid through and makes him earn everything. He grinds him down on the mat and kicks his ass, and GY does a good job of selling everything. Larry looks awesome as always, and it's a shame he never got a real chance. GY's comeback is very fun, and they roll to the floor where they fight to a double countout.
**1/4

Post match, they keep fighting and GY gets the best of it and runs Larry off.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion; Bob Backlund- Since 20/2/78
WWF Intercontinental Champion; Pedro Morales-Since 8/12/80
WWF Tag Team Champions; The Moondogs -Since 17/3/81

WWF All Star Wrestling
April 4th, 1981
Hamburg, PA

At ringside, Patterson is pissed that Sarge is wrestling tonight as he wishes it was him, but he'll sit back and wait for his chance. Vince announces we'll see the tag title match later on. Didn't realise how behind this show was from the other one.

Match#1 Pedro Morales vs Jerry Johnson
Another horrible one for Pedro. Can't wait for Don to end this shit once and for all. Backbreaker ends it
1/2*

Match#2 Sgt. Slaughter w/The Grand Wizard vs Angelo Gomez
Sarge gets 5 minutes to fuck around and it's awesome as hell. Unlike some of the other guys around here, Sarge is amazing and will just spend that time beating the fuck out of the kid in amazing fashion. CC does it
**1/4

At ringside, Vince is with Sarge and GW. Wizard says Patterson never challenged them, they challenged him and attacked them from behind, but Sarge got the Clutch on and let go himself. Sarge says he slapped Patterson because he's as yellow as his hair is, and it felt good. He put the Clutch on harder than ever before, and he swears on his fathers grave that he let it. Sarge says he'll accept the challenge to prove he will defeat him, and he'll leave the WWF if he can't do it. Hell, he'll put up 25 grand this time round if he wants to show he's not yellow. Sarge screams for Pat to fight him, bur he never shows up, so they leave.

The tag title switch airs.

Match#3 Andre The Giant vs The Hangman
Another wonderful Andre match. He decides to focus on the neck this time, and we get some hideous neck cranks and uppercuts to it, and Hangman gets the shit beaten out of him. Andre hits a nasty Big Boot and an elbow drop to win
**

Match#4 Don Muraco w/The Grand Wizard vs Black Demon
Don beats up one of the worst jobbers in a great feel good squash. He breaks out the neck work again and it's mean as hell. Patterson really likes Don's sun tan and talks about his surfing. Don wins with the neck crank
*3/4

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion; Bob Backlund- Since 20/2/78
WWF Intercontinental Champion; Pedro Morales-Since 8/12/80
WWF Tag Team Champions; The Moondogs -Since 17/3/81

WWF All Star Wrestling
April 11th, 1981
Hamburg, PA

Match#1 Mil Mascaras vs. Jack Carson
Goddamn it, i was hoping we wouldn't get stuck with this hack. Lazy shit as always, especially in a squash in the states. He wins with a terrible looking dropkick to the shoulder. Fucking loser
1/2*

Match#2 George Steele w/Freddie Blassie vs. Jerry Johnson
Nice to see Animal back on TV. He's in full wildman mode throwing chair and ripping turnbuckle pads, and it's such a nice change of pace even if he's not all that good. He bites and slams the kid and again, he's not great, but none of that really matters when he's beating the piss out of some mope. He slams the kid into the post and pins him to win
*

Match#3 The Fabulous Moolah vs. Jill Fontaine
Jesus, the hits just keep on coming. Horrible stuff from one of the worst people to ever get into wrestling. She looks like she's 100 years old and wrestles like it as well. Just a gross old asshole. She wins via who gives a fucking shit
pooping yourself

At ringside, Patterson interviews the former champs. Standard "we will get a rematch and right the wrongs" type of deal.

Match#4 Rick Martel & Tony Garea vs. Johnny Rodz & Ron Shaw
Same as always. i love Martel and all, but man you can see he needed to leave for a few years and change himself because this stuff was doing him zero favours in terms of growth. He still rules, but brother needs some bite to him. To further my point, he does all the work and Tony wins with a shitty sunset flip
*

Match#5. The Moondogs w/Captain Lou Albano vs Dominic DeNucci & SD Jones
BEGGING FOR A NEW SQUASH MATCHUP, VINCE. Also goes over 6 minutes just to make matter worse. fucking christ. Splash ends my pain
1/2*

Match#6 Don Muraco (w/The Grand Wizard) vs. Terry Gunn
Don saves the day with another killer squash. Gross neck work again and it's only a matter of time before he adds the piledriver and becomes even more awesome. He wins with a sick splash off the top rope.
**

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion; Bob Backlund- Since 20/2/78
WWF Intercontinental Champion; Pedro Morales-Since 8/12/80
WWF Tag Team Champions; The Moondogs -Since 17/3/81

WWF All Star Wrestling
April 18th, 1981
Hamburg, PA

Match#1 Killer Khan w/Freddie Blassie vs. Dominic DeNucci
NO

Match#2 The Great Yatsu vs. Larry Sharpe
Rematch time. They have a great fight for control on the mat and Larry beats his ass again and makes him earn his comeback even more than last time. Larry works the arm and has some fantastic work, and GY sells it very well. Larry even throws some nasty knees to the back of the head and neck, and he's such a great piece of shit. GY's attempted comebacks are awesome as are the cutoffs. He tries to tackle Larry int he corner and he misses and eats ALL the shit. Larry keeps on him and gets meaner and meaner, and i wish he had gotten an IC title run, but at least he trained a bunch of them. It goes to a ten minute time limit draw.
**3/4

At ringside, Vince is with Slaughter and GW. He rips a sign making fun of him, and he dares the fans to chant Gomer at him one more time. He tells them to call him number 1 because that's what he is. He says he heard anyone who brings a Gomer sign will get free tickets to a show, and they better not do it. GW says signs don't wrestle, Sarge does. They still have the ten thousand and they demand the respect he deserves. He says he'll take anyone on, hell he'll stick Vince in it right now. He jokingly puts it on and lets it go, and says he's declaring war on every wrestler.

Match#3 Sgt. Slaughter (w/The Grand Wizard) vs. Charlie Brown
YES. Sarge drags Charlie out of the ring and beats his ass on the floor to change shit up, further showing he's the best. He brings him back and beats the crap out of him with some sick strikes to the head and chest. He hits a motherfucker of a lariat and then locks in the Clutch to win
**1/2

Match#4 Pedro Morales vs. Johnny Rodz
Rodz gets tasked with carrying the old man and he does a great job of it. Lots of cool bumps and stooging anytime Pedro makes him look the fool. He even throws the steps on the floor and screams at the fans. Just a great pro wrestler. Pedro sucks and all, but Rodz makes him look good as possible. Pedro wins with a rollup
**

Match#5 King Kong Mosca w/Captain Lou Albano vs. Jerry Johnson
Standard KKM affair. Big whatever at this point tbqh. Backbreaker ends it
*

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF-PHILADELPHIA SPECTRUM
APRIL 18TH, 1981

Match#1 Moondog Rex & Sgt. Slaughter vs. Andre The Giant & Tony Garea
King has been banned from the country for getting caught with drugs at the border, so Rex is getting thrown into weird shit until Spot debuts in a few weeks. Andre owns them to start and they find new ways to bump and stooge for him. Sarge really goes out of his way to do some funny stuff like running away and taking a handstand bump when Andre throws him against the ropes, and running into Andre's ass and bouncing himself back across the ring. Rex is more classic in terms of just pancaking on stuff to make it look like he maybe died. They finally control Garea and it's ok, but i wish it has been Martel in this spot, not that my love for him is anything new at this point. The heels keep double teaming Tony, so Andre loses his shit and rushes the ring and kills them both and the ref throws it out
**1/4

Match#2 The Great Yatsu vs. The Hangman
This goes to a 20 minutes time limit because Baba won't let GY lose, i guess. I mean thy could have just run the 3rd Sharpe match again and it would have ruled, but the 80's are weird as hell. Weird styles clash between them that doesn't at all mesh, and the entire thing is just a jarring choice given what's been done on TV with both of them at this point. Draw happens and may it never happen again.
3/4*

Match#3 Bob Backlund (c) w/Arnold Skaaland vs. Killer Khan (WWF World Championship)
Poor Bob goes from Stan and Sarge to this dipshit. Not cool, Vince. After all these hot starts over the last few defences, Bob is hesitant to engage Khan in a straight up fight. Which is silly given he's fucking nuts and wants to fight everyone, but i get they want KK to be this feared monster even if he's actually a giant loser. The hesitancy allows KK to take over with his horrible offence and funny screaming that's meant to be scary, but it's all very lame. Bob sells it all and makes him look awesome and dangerous for the first time, and maybe last until Andre gets to him. Bob brings that amazing struggle to everything and makes sure to sell everything, even if it's some of the lamest looking shit in the world. He even takes a header into the ground for him because Bob knows no other way. He survives a bunch of bullshit and never actually comes back, instead getting a fancy rollup to win. Very mad this probably means a rematch down the line.
*1/4

Match#4 Pat Patterson vs Sgt. Slaughter.
Sarge stalls and runs away for a while and the crowd wants to kill him. Easily the most hated man in the world at this point. Patterson finally gets him and ties him in the ropes and punches the shit out of him in revenge. Lots of gross punches from Pat, and Sarge has some amazing punch drunk sells. He tries to run away, but Pat drags him back into the post dick first, and we get a shot of the crowd fist pumping. Pat keeps it up and Sarge ramps up the bumping again to an insane level. Pat pummels him on the ground like a madman and it's such a wonderful moment. Sarge gets free and drags himself over into the corner where he loads his elbow pad with something, and he cracks Patterson in the face with it when he runs in and Pat takes a wicked bump to the ground. Sarge taunts the crowd even more and holy shit do they want his head. Pat is busted open and Sarge goes nuts on the cut and slams his head off a table and the steps. Pat takes no effort to protect himself and cracks his skull each time, and i love it. Sarge gets the Clutch on and instead of trying to fight out the same way he did last time, PAT JUST PUNCHES HIM IN THE FUCKING MOUTH AND AN ENTIRE BALL OF SPIT COMES OUT. Sarge lets it go and tries to come off the top with a knee, but Pat moves and he fucks his leg up. Pat gets him in the figure four. Sarge can't get out, so he punches the ref in the face for the DQ
***1/4

Post match, Pat won't let it go and destroys the knee for a few minutes until he lets go in an awesome fuck you. He thinks about it for a moment and he locks it back in until he lets it go again and Sarge limps out of the ring. Pat begs him to get back in and Sarge teases it, but he ends up bailing to the back. incredible angle.

Match#5 Hulk Hogan vs Tony Atlas
Hogan's last WWF match until 83. Not a great loss or anything at this point, but still incredibly important in the grand scheme of things. This is not very good as Hogan clearly doesn't give a shit to try, and Atlas sucks shit as we know. So it's 13 minutes of lazy bearhugs and bad power moves, which is not what anyone wants to see. There's a ref bump near the end it looks like Hogan is going to cheat, but Atlas gets a bad rollup to win
1/2*

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion; Bob Backlund- Since 20/2/78
WWF Intercontinental Champion; Pedro Morales-Since 8/12/80
WWF Tag Team Champions; The Moondogs -Since 17/3/81

WWF All Star Wrestling
April 25th, 1981
Hamburg, PA

Match#1 George Steele w/Freddie Blassie vs. Terry Gunn
Steele does his wiildman shit again and it's fun, but yeah doesn't make for a great squash. He wins with his Hammerlock.
3/4*

Match#2 King Kong Mosca w/Captain Lou Albano vs. Charlie Brown
Mosca isn't changing shit up in his squashes, which is the worst possible outcome when this is what TV is until 93. Backbreaker ends this dull affair
1/2*

Post match, he breaks the kids back and some refs come out to take Brown out on a stretcher. Crowd is dead which is very funny.

Vince interviews him at ringside and he talks forever about beating Backlund. Go away.

Match#3 Rick Martel, SD Jones & Tony Garea vs. Baron Mikel Scicluna, Chris Canyon & Jack Carson
Goes nearly 7 minutes for some hideous reason. SD is the worst, Tony is fine, but dull, and Martel can only do so much. After a goddamn lot of dull minutes of bad shit, faces win
1/2*

Match#4 Don Muraco (w/The Grand Wizard) vs. Pete Mitchell
Don saves the day with a wonderfully mean squash, and i am now happy. He beats the holy hell out of the kid with the neck work and gross strikes, and he's easily one of the best dudes in the world at this point. He wins with his amazing splash
**

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion; Bob Backlund- Since 20/2/78
WWF Intercontinental Champion; Pedro Morales-Since 8/12/80
WWF Tag Team Champions; The Moondogs -Since 17/3/81

WWF All Star Wrestling
May 2nd 1981
Hamburg, PA

Match#1 King Kong Masca w/Lou Albano vs Steve King
Another bad one for this goober. Brother regressed real quick once he hit his spot, so fuck him. Backbreaker ends it
1/2*

Match#2 George Steele w/Freddie Blassie vs ?
Steele runs off the ring announcer so we never learn the jobbers name, which is amazing. Squash is not amazing sadly, but at least that bit was cool. Hammerlock does it
1/2*

Match#3 Dusty Rhodes vs Pete Mitchelle
Dream is back, if you wheel. He only gets 90 seconds in his return, but it's all fun as he beats the crap out of the jobber and ends it with his elbow drop
*

At ringside, Vince interviews him. Dream has been traveling the country seeing all kinds of bad dudes in this world, but there is no one who can funky like a monkey like he can. He has soul, and he dares Blassie to unleash one of his men on him, baby. He doesn't know about surfing like Muarco, but he knows about the ladies. He knows nothing about pingpong, but he wants the gold just like he does. He thanks the fans for sending him letters for talking all that jive talk (Jesus Christ) and he will thank them by winning the championship. He calls out Steele to come out and fight him right now, but he never shows and the interview ends right away.

Match#4 Sgt. Slaughter w/Grand Wizard vs Jeff Johnson
Sarge mauls another poor jamoke in incredible fashion, and it's just the best thing WWF is doing at this point. Everything he does is brutal and mean as fuck, dude is just one another level. Cobra Clutch ends it
**

Match#5 Rick Martel & Tony Garea vs Chris Canyon & Mikel Scicluna
Because I'm a dumbass, i didn't even click on to the fact that Canyon is a very young King Kong Bundy. He has long hair and is wearing all purple, and holy shit it's a LOOK. Love that he's here in any form, though. He tags in right at the end and doesn't do much of anything other than a bearhug as he's brand new at wrestling, having debuted in March (and this was taped in April), so they aren't risking it. He does get to try a spear and hits the ringpost and takes a cool bump to the floor, and it's a nice thing to let him do something like that at lease. Garea beats him with a crossbody. Typing that was more interesting than the entire match.
3/4*

Match#6 Don Muarco w/Grand Wizard vs Steve Dunne
Don does his thing, and like Sarge before him, it's a masterclass in showcasing yourself to the world. Neck Crank does it
**

 

[BigVanDonnie]

Pat Patterson vs Sgt. Slaughter (ALLEY STREET FIGHT-4/5/81)
THEY RUSH EACH OTHER AND PATTERSON GOES INSANE WITH STRIKES AND BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF HIM, AND IT'S INCREDIBLE. He chokes and bites him and looks like complete madman. He whips him with the belt and MSG goes nuts with each hit, and it's one of the coolest moments ever. HE HITS HIM IN THE FACE AND NECK WITH IT AND SARGE JUST CRUMPLES TO THE GROUND IN ANOTHER ALL TIME SELL. Sarge finally rakes the eyes to get him off and he whips him in the face with the belt to take over. He sticks the belt in his mouth and strangles him with it and it's uncomfortable as hell.

Sarge keeps getting as dirty and gruesome as possible with the choking and punches, and it's one of the dirtiest and foulest control segments i've ever seen. Patterson moves out of the way of Sarge coming off the top and he slams him AND COMES OFF THE TOP ROPE WITH A FUCKING DOUBLE STOMP TO THE FACE WHILE WEARING COWBOY BOOTS. HE JUMPS OFF AGAIN WITH A KNEE TO THE FACE AND HITS HIM IN THE BACK OF THE FUCKING HEAD AND STARTS BITTING HIM AGAIN, AND SARGE IS BUSTED WIDE OPEN. Sarge piefaces him to get him off and it's a cool little thing as both men are so spent that it works just well enough for Sarge to get up and kick him in the face to take back over. Sarge keeps kicking him in the face and then throws him over the top rope to the concrete in a disgusting bump, and somehow Patterson fights back AND HE SLINGSHOTS SARGE INTO THE RINGPOST AND HIS FOREHEAD HITS THE VERY TOP AND HIS ENTIRE HEAD EXPLODES WITH BLOOD AND HE'S OUT OF IT. PATTERSON PUNCHES THE SHIT OUT OF HIM, SO SARGE PUNCHES HIM RIGHT IN THE DICK. Sarge hits him with some brass knuckles, but he's too dead to actually drag himself over to make the cover, and he falls to his knees when he tries to get back up, and Patterson gets up again and throws him into another ringpost, AND HE HITS HIM IN THE FACE WITH HIS COWBOY BOOT AND SMACKS HIS HEAD OFF ANOTHER FUCKING RINGPOST AND SMACKS HIM WITH THE BOOT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND SARGE IS DEAD. PATTERSON THROWS HIM AGAINST THE POST AGAIN AND THE CROWD EXPLODES AND HANGS ON EVERY SHOT AS PATTERSON HITS HIM OVER AND OVER UNTIL GRAND WIZARD RUNS OUT AND THROWS IN THE TOWEL. PAT DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK AS HE HITS HIM ANOTHER 4 TIMES AND FINALLY STOPS HITTING HIM AND THE REF RAISES HIS HAND AS A BLOODY AND BEATEN SARGE SLUMPS IN THE CORNER.
*****

A complete classic that i've always loved, but with the entire story behind it being seen in full for the first time in my life, i have even more love for it now. Just a perfect spectacle of violence and hate, and one of the best payoffs in wrestling history.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion; Bob Backlund- Since 20/2/78
WWF Intercontinental Champion; Pedro Morales-Since 8/12/80
WWF Tag Team Champions; The Moondogs -Since 17/3/81

All Star Wrestling
May 9th, 1981
Hamburg, PA

At ringside, Vince says we're going to see an old Bruno match from when he was champ. Guess it means he's on his way back, sadly.

They air the match and it's fine enough for a Bruno showcase from the 70's, but there's no need for it.

Match#1 Mill Mascares vs Black Demon
Awful shit once again. Can't wait for this hack to fuck off. Bad crossbody ends it
1/2*

At ringside, Vince is with Muarco & Wizard. He shits on the old guys like Bruno and says he needs to keep his butt on a seat like Patterson. Dusty needs to keep his fat belly out of his business, or he'll get badly hurt. He says this is no Rocky story with an underdog beating him, and he will never lose to any of these bums. He says he rode 50ft waves and tasted immortally and he wants that feeling in wrestling, and he wants a champion to step up and fight him and hand that title over. GW says this has been a plan for 5 years to take over the WWF, and they demand someone step up.

Match#2 Dusty Rhodes vs Moose Monroe
Vince and Patterson spend the entire match talking about what a nice man Dusty is, and how giving and kind he is. Very weird way to make me like him at all, and now i kind of hate him because of how forced it all is. Fun squash as always, though. Awesome elbows and leg work, and Dusty just being a blast to watch. Elbow Drop ends it.
**

Match#3 Rick McGraw vs Chris Canyon
Bundy gets offence in this time and it's pretty good!! He's blown up really fast as he's a baby at this, but he throws some cool strikes and looks like he has that something to him. McGraw takes some big bumps for him, and then fights back and slowly chops down the tree. MCGRAW FUCKING SLAMS HIM AND HITS AN ELBOW DROP TO WIN. HOLY SHIT DUDE
**1/4

Match#4 Pedro Morales vs Ron Shaw
Another bad one for this old fuck. Suck all the shit knowing i'm stuck with him for the better part of the decade, but whatever. Bad Crab does it
1/2*

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion; Bob Backlund- Since 20/2/78
WWF Intercontinental Champion; Pedro Morales-Since 8/12/80
WWF Tag Team Champions; The Moondogs -Since 17/3/81

WWF All Star Wrestling
May 16th, 1981
Hamburg, PA

For some reason they re-air the tag title switch again in full.

Match#1 Killer Khan w/Classy Freddie Blassie vs Dominik DeNucci
Hideous fucking match. Terrible strikes and choking and all round dogshit, with the only highlight being Vince losing his mind trying to sell this as if its good, or even watchable. Fuck these two. Khan ties him in the ropes and keeps kicking him until he falls to the floor and gets counted out.
Hotboxing yourself

Match#2 George Steele w/Classy Freddie Blassie vs Jerry Johnson
Animal smashes him over the head with a jug of water and mauls him, and it's the best thing of this terrible show in 20 minutes. He eventually strangles him enough that the ref finally ends the match.
*

Match#3 King Kong Mosca w/Lou Albano vs Rick McGraw
McGraw finally gets something of this lug with some sick bumps and cool offence whenever he gets a chance. KKM is bad again, but McGraw makes him look like a legit killer at points. Rick goes on a great burst of offence and floors him a few times, he tries to come off the top but Albano distracts him long for KKM to get the knees up and hit him with a backbreaker to win
**

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion; Bob Backlund- Since 20/2/78
WWF Intercontinental Champion; Pedro Morales-Since 8/12/80
WWF Tag Team Champions; The Moondogs -Since 17/3/81

WWF All Star Wrestling
May 23rd, 1981
Hambrug, PA

At ringside, Vince announces a "Super Midget Match" and Patterson laughs and says they're very funny guys without trying to be.

They air another Bruno match, this time against Volkoff.

Match#1 Johnny Rodz vs Mil Máscaras
As always, the stars name goes first, and what a star is Johnny Rodz. A shame he has to carry this ghoul to something fun, but that's the price he pays for being the best. He gets dirty right away and tries to rip the mask off and gouge the eyes, and it's just the best type of shithead work in a match like this. Mill fights back with his dogshit offence and wins with a horrible looking slam. Prick
*3/4

A pre-tape airs with Vince and Stan Hansen. They talk about him bursting back on the scene and showing everyone he's the biggest nastiest stud to ever walk out of Texas. Vince brings up the Bruno match and how an unknown kid went from "The Texan" to an overnight sensation. He says everyone fears him and everyone from Texas. He says he wishes he had a recording of the sound of Bruno's neck breaking so he could hear it every day, and his one wish for wrestling is to finally put him out of wrestling and finish the job for good. He says he would love to shake his hand and thank for him letting him break his neck and become the king of the hill. He's been hating since he momma kicked him when he was in the 4th grade, and hate makes him thrive and he lives to hate him. He'll break his neck again and the fans will enjoy it. STAN IS GOD.

Match#2 Don Muarco w/Grand Wizard vs Angelo Gomez
The fans chant "BEACH BUM" for the first time, which is an all time insult. Don kicks the shit out of another poor sap by targeting the neck, and it's such a tremendous thing. Big Splash does it
**

Match#3 Carolina Kid & Farmer Jerome vs Kid Chocolate & Sky Low Low (Super Midget Match)
Oh no. Bad comedy spots and Vince and Patterson making terrible jokes the entire time. Just not a good match on top of everything else.
1/2*

Match#4 Killer Khan vs Ron Shaw
Oh fuck off already, you goof. Horrible shit as always, and i just want him gone from life at this point. Flying Knee ends it
1/2*

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion; Bob Backlund- Since 20/2/78
WWF Intercontinental Champion; Pedro Morales-Since 8/12/80
WWF Tag Team Champions; The Moondogs -Since 17/3/81

WWF All Star Wrestling
May 30th, 1981
Hamburg, PA

They replay McGraw vs Mosca

Match#1 George Steele w/Classy Freddie Blassie vs Steve King
Animal does his thing and it's fine, but it's going to wear real thin in a few months, i can just feel it. Hammerlock does it
*

At ringside, Vince is with Muarco & GW. Wizard demands they stop calling him a beach bum otherwise they'll never wrestle in front of them again. Don calls himself the dark prince and he says he's magnificent because of what happens when he steps in the ring, and makes them feel the power of the spike. He now has his thumb taped and tells the fans to put their hands to the screen and feel the power. He goes insane and says he can't wait to make Backlund gurgle with the spike and take the title. He says Vince still hasn't wised up despite all the broken bodies he's left in his wake. He says he is not a beach bum as he's surfed the best beaches in the word, and these idiots know nothing.

Match#2 Pedro Morales vs Jerry Johnson
No thanks

Match#3 The Moondogs w/Lou Albano vs Angelo Gomez & Yoshi Yatsu
Spot is officially replacing King in the lineup after the former was banned from the country. He's really awesome for an old dude, and while not as crazy as reckless as the other two, he adds his own style to the lineup. Lou gets on commentary and says Spot was the last of the littler, he then barks a lot and it rules. The Dogs win with Demolition's decapitation.
**

At ringside, Patterson interviews them. Lou formally introduces Spot to the world as the boys are eating paper and trying to bite fans, and the entire thing is pro wrestling.