Donnie watches TNA 2007

[BigVanDonnie]

TNA World Heavyweight Campion: Kurt Angle-25/10/07
TNA X-Division Champions: Jay Lethal-9/9/07
TNA World Tag Team Champions: AJ Styles & Tomko-14/10/07
TNA Knockouts Champion-Gail Kim-14/10/07

TNA Impact
November 8th, 2007
Impact Zone

Scott Hall has arrived backstage.

Tonight; Sting/Joe/EY vs Kurt/Beer Money

Match#1 Christian Cage vs Kaz (Fight for the Right Finals)
Kaz grabs an arm right away to control and does some fine basics to it, and Cage sells it very well as you'd expect. Cage can't get anything going as Kaz baits in him and gets him to lose his head, and Kaz is able to stay on him. Cage tries to use the ropes to kick Kaz like he's been doing as of late, BUT KAZ CUTS HIM OFF AND HITS THE LEGDROP TO CRUSH HIM FIRST. FUCK YEAH. We come back from the break with Cage in control as we see he threw him into the post, and he attacks the now bad arm with some sweet work. Kaz's attempted comebacks are really good as he's throwing big dropkicks and trying his best to get it going, and it's the best he's looked since he got back. He goes for broke with a massive leg drop off the top but he misses and crashes and burns. Cage knocks him off again and hits the Frog Splash for a wild near fall. Cage tries the Unpreitter, but Kaz counters into the Flux Capacitor for the first time in a year and nearly gets the win, but Cage kicks out at the last moment. AJ comes down to help, but Kaz takes him out with a Tope. He takes Tomko out as well, but Cage sets the ladder up in between the bottom rope and sends up into Kaz's face to win the right to. fight.
**3/4

Matt Morgan comes out in a bad suit and calls this in an instant screwjob. He says Corny is gone right now, and he's the shot caller of TNA and this is now a no contest. He makes Kaz vs Cage at the PPV in a ladder match for the finals. Very good booking, so kudos.

In the back, Kurt is very upset about Hall being here, and Nash says maybe he's mad because he turned his back on him and wasn't there for him when he got into trouble. They argue until Karen breaks it up, and says she's going to talk to him and take care of business.

In the back, Cage loses his shit about a loser like Morgan screwing him when he's never beaten anyone in his life. He's not happy about this at all, but at least they'll be doing this in HIS match. Kaz can try and climb to the top, but there's only one name up there and it's the instant classic. Tomko says they've been together for a long time and he wants to know if he's his #1 guy, or if it's AJ. Cage says they've been up and down the roads together but Tomko keeps thinking when he tells him not to, so AJ is in charge when he's not around until Tomko stops thinking. AJ is very happy about this and says he's a wrestling champion just like Steiner, so he's challenging him to 5 minutes to see who can get the most takedowns. Ewww, please don't.

Match#2 Gail Kim vs Alexia Jade
Fine little showcase for Gail. Tenay says she will defend against OBD, Roxxi and Love at the PPV. So, it's cool to see them building the thing. Gail wins with the Air Raid Crash.
*

VKM come out to talk smack about how Roxxi is going to kill her, and Roxxi sneaks in and attacks her and lays her out with a backbreaker slam. VKM becoming managers is a far better use of them. Love runs down and attacks Roxxi and holds the title up, but OBD comes down and drops her and poses with the title. Gail gets back and dropkicks her and gets her title back.

In the back, Karen tries to seduce a very fat and bloated Scott Hall, and it's as gross as you can imagine. Scott rejects her and calls her a rat, and says he's here for Kevin Nash and nothing else. Karen walks out and goes into the men's room for some reason.

Earlier tonight, 3D attacked Sharky and Petey and put them through tables in the catering area.

Matt Morgan comes out to to make an announcement, and Mike reads a card that it will be Jay Lethal vs Dutt for the title.

Match#3 Team 3D vs Jay Lethal & Abyss
Jay hits Bubba with arm drags and a takedown, and the big man is shook and bumps around huge for him. 3D cut him off as Bubba sends him dick first into the post, and they go to work with a fun control seg as they're super mean and motivated again. They beat the piss out of him and Bubba throws some sick punches and talks a world of a crap as he does it. Jay fights back and gets Abyss in for a fun hot tag as they die for him and his now mostly awful looking offence. Jay kills D-Von with the Elbow from half way across the ring and for a wild near fall. Black Reign comes down and attacks Abyss and fights him in the crowd. Back in the ring, Jay tries his best to fight the odds, but D-Von low blows him and they beat him with the 3D.
**1/2

The monster losers have a terrible fight in the crowd, and 3D get a table and set it up to kill Jay. They put him on the table and whip him with their belts and beat the hell out of him. The Guns run down for the save and hold the ring.

In the back, Karen tells Kurt it didn't work and they argue some more.

Kurt now comes out in full gear like old times. He says this is shake and bake time and he wants Hall out here now in 10 seconds. Scott doesn't show up (LOL) so Kurt leaves to look for him.

Kurt finds EY in Hall's locker room and asks where Scott is, and he says right here as Scott walks in. 6FT6 and more handsome than ten movie stars. Kurt tells him to stay out of this, and Scott shoves him against a wall and bends his arm back as he says this is between him and Kevin. Kurt begs him to let go like a massive bitch, and Scott does just that. Well, this is not good.

In the back, Scotty calls people skanks and says AJ doesn't have the size and strength to fight him. AJ's old lady put him in bed with his Toy Story and Cars bed, and then she calls him to see what a real man is. AJ is in the big time and he's going to kick his ass BIG TIME.

Match#4 AJ Styles vs Scott Steiner (5 Minute Takedown Match)
The ropes are down and it's a wild sight to see a Bloodsport type set up in the Impact Zone of all places. AJ shoots a few times and Steiner pushes him away with ease, and AJ gets mad with that famous temper and throws his headgear off in anger. AJ throws powder in his eyes, AND TAKES HIM DOWN AND DOES PUSH UPS TO MOCK HIM. YEAH GET HIM. He takes him down again and again to go 3-0. Scott finally gets him as AJ runs at him, and he slams him again and again to even it up. He hits a big belly to belly to get the lead, but Tomko attacks for the DQ
*3/4

They beat him down until the corpse of Rick Steiner makes the save. Scotty DRILLS AJ with a wild overhead and knocks him out of the ring with it.

In the back, Hall leaves Sting's lockeroom.

In the back, Nash says this is between him and Scott now, and God help them all if he does what he thinks he's about to. He leaves as everyone is confused.

There's a woman in the crowd with a pro Roode sign, and she stares Brooks down.

Match#5 Samoa Joe, Sting & Eric Young vs Kurt Angle, James Storm & Robert Roode w/Jackie Moore & Ms Brooks
Joe's head has a bandage over it, and he's ready to kill Roode, so Sting has to get him to back down and he starts off. Awesome fight with Roode to start as Sting is still Sting in spite of his horrid booking. Roode runs off, so Joe gets in and beats Storm's ass out of anger and does the walk away spot to a big pop. EY and Kurt fight, and EY is a mad man full of fire and beats Kurt up and hits him with the phone book from last week. Kurt cuts him off with a suplex and goes to town. Fun control seg as he keeps it simple and mean as possible, and EY is a bump freak and dies as he should for Kurt. Joe gets the hot tag and lights Storm and Kurt up as Roode avoids dying until he sneaks in a punch to the back of the head to knock him down. Beer Money work together to kick his ass, and it's a lovely look into the future. Joe fights back and finally cracks him with knees and beats his face in, and then Sting gets in for the hot tag and does Sting things. It all breaks down, and Sting beats Storm with the Deathlock.
**3/4

Kevin comes out and asks to speak to Hall, and he comes out with his amazing 2002 theme. He looks like complete trash as this point is maybe the darkest of his life and will be until DDP saves his life, so i'm not going to be a cunt. But none of this is good and he shouldn't be anywhere near a ring. Anyway, Scott makes a joke about Nash having grey hair now and he didn't realise they were maturing now, and Kev says he had to grow up eventually. Scott says he used to be real easy to find when they ruled the world, but now he's in the gutter staggering he's nowhere to be found. Kevin says he used to be the one staggering next to him, and he had to stop to save his family and he didn't know how to help Scott, and for that he's sorry. Hall says they can talk about the old times and put everyone to sleep, but that was then and this is now. It's good to see him and they've got Today and God willing they've got tomorrow. He's not Sting's partner and never will be. They hug as Mike and DW are very angry about why any of this happened if that's the case, and hey i agree. Kurt now comes out and says what i just said, and now Sting comes out and stands there to close the show.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

TNA World Heavyweight Campion: Kurt Angle-25/10/07
TNA X-Division Champions: Jay Lethal-9/9/07
TNA World Tag Team Champions: AJ Styles & Tomko-14/10/07
TNA Knockouts Champion-Gail Kim-14/10/07

TNA GENESIS
NOVEMBER 11TH, 2007
THE IMPACT ZONE

TNA's opening video is about being born and finding yourself in the world of TNA. A true nightmare for anyone.

In the back, a limo has arrived.

Match#1 Abyss vs Black Reign (Shop of Horrors)
TNA now has Dustin's work shop at ringside hence the name, but like TNA should have gotten a giant Venus Fly Trap and had it eat both of them. They fight on the ramp and beat the crap out of each as it's PPV and they're working hard. Abyss breaks a plaster board over Dustin's skull and chucks him into the crowd for our crowd brawl. They fight back around to the ramp where Dustin gets a key out and tries to open a giant box, but Abyss cuts him off. They fight some more and Abyss gets suplexd onto a trash can for a nasty spill. Dustin beat him up with plunda shots and bloodies him, and it's a lot of fun as it's simple and has loads of brain damage. Abyss gets a barb wire bat and smacks him in the stomach, and then murders him with a truly awesome Chokeslam off the stage with a hideous thud as Dustin splats. Abyss drags him back down and STICKS IN HIS HAND IN THE VICE AND CRUSHES IT. Mitchell comes out to let him loose and gives him something. Mitchell gets in Abyss' face and has the rat stuck down his shirt. DUSTIN GETS IN AND HITS THE PEDIGREE ONTO FUCKING RAT TRAPS FOR A WILD ASS NEAR FALL. Dustin beats his head in with a cane over and over, and gets some brass knucks that MItchell gave him. Abyss catches him running at him with the BHS to pull the win out.
**1/2

Abyss gets the key and goes up the stage and unlocks the box and a masked man comes out and spits mist on him. He beats the shit out of him like a Killer spelt backwards or something. Dustin joins in and helps to kill him with the hammer. They lock him in the box and shove it off the stage.

In the back, JB tries to find out whose in the limo, but blackshirts won't let him see. He tries to argue, they kick him out.

Hype for 3D/Guns.

In the back, The Guns say they're fighting for their place amongst the best teams and they're using 3D as stepping stones. Shelley says they're going to take aim at them and getting ready to evolve wrestling. The fans will cheer them because they're fighting for them as well, and new fans who don't them, will know them after this.

Match#2 The Motor City Machine Guns vs Team 3D
The Guns rush them on the stage for a big fight of kicking their fat fucks asses all over the Zone. They double team Bubba as they beat the breaks off him, and D-Von actually bumps around as well, but this is Bubba showing he can still be awesome when he cares. 3D bail and goes to leave, but the Guns bait them back into the fray. Sabin refuses to take any shit and uses his speed to tire Bubba out, and it's fantastic as hell. BUBBA CATCHES HIM FOR A POWERBOMB BUT SABIN RANA'S OUT AND BUBBA TAKES A CODE RED OF SORTS. 3D try to bully the Guns now, but our guys aren't playing and they keep kicking their asses. They go for a double dive on D-Von, but Bubba crotches them, and D-Von nails a superplex on Shelley to isolate him. Alex shows he's a perfect face in peril as he's sympathetic as possible for the Dudz mauling him. Bubba pulls Sabin off the apron and fakes Shelley into the corner so he can punch him in the face. Amazing. They really ramp up the beating as they're born shitheads, and Shelley rules so damn much at trying to fight back against them, so the cut offs feel even more heartbreaking as a result. Sabin gets the tag for an insane one as he flies all over dropping them time and time again. He breaks out the sick tornado DDT for a near fall on D-Von, and then the Guns start double teaming them with their wild speed. 3D get it together to cut them off and go for the tables, AND SABIN DROPKICK IT INTO D-VON'S FACE. THEY HIT BUBBA WITH THE HIGH LOW, AND D-VON COMES BACK TO LIFE AT THE LAST SECOND TO PULL THE REF OUT TO SAVE. 3D get rid of Shelley and nail the Doomsday Device on Sabin, and he kicks out!! They get another table set up in the corner and try to throw Sabin into, AND HE FUCKING WALL WALKS IT AND DOES A BACK FLIP AND GOADS D-VON TO RUN AT HIM AND SIDESTEPS HIM TO SEND HIM HEAD FIRST INTO IT. THE GUNS SWARM BUBBA AND KILL HIM WITH THE AC/CS RUSH TO GET THE WIN.
***1/2

In the back, Kurt yells and screams at Nash and asks if he's an asshole and keeps baiting Nash, so the big man finally slams him against a wall and screams at him that none of this shit matters and he is an asshole. He'll have his back tonight because he has to, but it's going to be them right after.

Hype for the 4 way.

Match#3 Gail Kim (c) vs ODB vs Angel Williams vs Roxxi w/VKM (TNA Knockouts Championship)
The ladies try to team up to fight Gail, but they then fight amongst themselves as it turns into your classic clusterfuck. Not very good sadly as Gail and ODB are the only good wrestlers, and the other two are both bad and green and mess up a ton of stuff. VKM try to help, but the ref, Shane Sewell making his debut, kicks them out. More bad stuff happens and it's not a good thing for the first PPV title match to be terrible, but TNA 2007 is a different beast. Gail beats ODB with a Neckbreaker.
1/2*

Post match, Awesome Kong comes out and signals for the title. YES.

In the back, Karen gets to see inside the limo, and finds EY and Storm having a drinking contest. Storm is already trashed, and EY is in love with Karen. James has to tell the blackshirts they're guarding the wrong limo as this is the world heavyweight drinking champion, The limo is over there. JB tries to get a drink, but Storm won't give him one as he's not in the contest and leaves with EY and Jackie, The title is Cena's spinner with a beer bottle on the front. AMAZING.

Match#4 Jay Lethal (c) vs Sonjay Dutt (TNA X-Division Championship)
Would have been cool if they bothered to build this at all, but whatever. Sonjay can't help but punch Jay off a break to start and acts like a dick, and Jay is sad and confused at this, so he slaps him back. Sonjay knocks him to the floor and hits a flip dive and beats his ass with some really good elbows and knees to the ribs, and we get Jay selling very well. Dutt uses a full body lock for something different, and has some great work on the ribs. Jay eventually comes back and sells none of it. Goddamn it. The comeback rules a ton, but like you've just wasted my time. They move into a back and forth for a while and it's fine but sort of nothing we haven't seen before, so it's not worth recapping. Jay wins with the Elbow.
**

Post match, Jay and Dutt make peace as So Cal Val is cheering Jay on. He invites her in and parades around with her as Dutt throws flowers on them. 3D run down and beat the piss out of them. They scare Val in the corner, and Bubba gets the title. He grabs a mic and says the Guns cheated and now the division will pay for it. They're taking the title hostage.

In the back, Kevin says he's here to leave as world champion.

In a room, Storm and EY are getting ready. Storm says he's beaten Jim, Jack and even went down south to beat Jose. He pours some shots for them and they down them and some beers. EY nearly hurls, but he stops himself and finishes the beer. EY says he feels good, and Storm says they'll see in 20 minutes when they drink more.

Match#5 AJ Styles & Tomko (c) vs The Steiner Brothers (TNA World Tag Team Championships)
AJ puts on his working boots as he throws himself into oblivion for the two relics on the other side, and hey it's AJ Styles so it works even if he should just refuse to do it. Tomko also does the same for Rick Steiner, and holy shit is he awful and bad and near fucking death the entire time. They take him out and isolate Scotty, and it's pretty ok as they take it easy on the beating, but the work holds up thanks to the insane talent of AJ. Rick gets the hot tag and it's bad, but hey AJ DOES WHAT HE ALWAYS FUCKING DOES AND MAKES IT WORK. GOD FUCKING DAMN IT. Shit breaks down and AJ has to slip in a kick to the dick and a chair shot to the head to beat Rick Steiner in 2007.
LOLTNA

Hype for Joe/Roode.

In the back, Roode says he's going to make a name for himself off Joe. He doesn't fear him and he's not afraid of him. He made him bleed like a pig, and he's going to make him cry and whine like the bitch he is. Tonight, he kills Samoa Joe. He tells Brooks to stay out of the way, and she demands to know who the woman is. Roode says he thought she was her friend and walks away.

The woman is in the crowd again.

Match#6 Samoa Joe vs Robert Roode w/Ms Brooks
Joe chases him down and beats him like a rented mule and picks my spirits up after a bad hour of wrestling. A classic Samoa Joe ass kicking unfolds, and Roode leans into every shot like a shotgun blasting through him. Joe walks away so Roode lands on the floor, and then Joe cleans his clock with the Elbow Suicida. He tries the Ole, but Roode grabs his leg and smashes it into the rail, and then suplexes him on the ramp. He picks Joe up to attack, BUT JOE THROWS HIM INTO THE STEPS AND KICKS HIS FACE INTO THEM. He blasts him with more shot to make this little shit pay for his crimes, and like the Cage series it's a reminder he's still the man. Roode pokes him in the eye and hits the Blockbuster to take over and gives us another super solid control seg. We get a shot of a nasty cut on Roode's shoulder, and he looks super tough for fighting through it and taking it to Joe for long as he can. Joe mounts a comeback and batters him. We get a shot of Brooks out cold on the floor being tended to. Roode gets a kick to the dick and a DDT to cut him off. He hits a sick looking Piledriver to mess up Joe's neck, and he starts throwing punches down onto it as well. ROODE PICKS HIM UP FOR THE PAYOOF, BUT JOE BLOCKS IT AND DEADLIFTS HIM ONTO THE CORNER AND KICKS HIM IN THE HEAD AND HITS THE MUSCLE BUSTER TO WIN.
***

In the back, Kurt loses his mind once more and storms outside to find out whose in the limo.

Kurt makes it to the limo, but Sting attacks him and scares him off.

Hype for Cage/Kaz.

In the back, Christian says he heard this a millon times about people making their names off his expsence, and it's not going to happen. Kaz is trying to prove he belongs and deserves to breath the same air as him., He's going to take him to the top where he's dreamt of being, and once he gets there he'll see there's only one place to go. He tells AJ and Tomko to stay out of it, and AJ winks and plays it off as a joke, but Cage tells him he's serious. AJ again tells Tomko to follow his head, and Tomko says he's serious and shakes his head.

Match#7 Christian Cage vs Kaz (Fight For Your Right-Finals-Ladder Match)
-They fight to start and Kaz goes for the ladder first, but Cage fights him away and beats him down.
-Cage goes for it himself, and Kaz hits springboard splash to land the ladder onto Cage's face and arm, and Christian's eyebrow is a bloody mess as you can see the cut opening in a gross moment.
-Cage gets mad now and kicks his ass as the blood drips down and they fight over a ladder propped over a rail, and Kaz gets him on it, but Cage kicks him in the dick and does his kick through the ropes to send him on it, AND HE HITS THE FROG SPLASH AND THE LADDER DOESN'T BUDGE AND KAZ IS SQUASHED.
-Christian tries to climb but Kaz tips the ladder over, and fights him again and rams him into another ladder in the corner super damn hard.
-Kaz runs at him like a fool, and Cage throws the ladder back into his face, and then tosses him into another one.
-Kaz comes back and bounces a ladder off the ropes into his face and then swings it like a bat into his shoulders to send him out of the ring.
-He tries to climb but he's too slow and Cage gets back in and rams a ladder into his ribs and they fight on a ladder, and Cage kills him with the reverse DDT.
-They fight on the mart and Kaz breaks out a sweet monkey flip to send him into a ladder and then hits his flying legdrop to hurt him more.
-Kaz suplexes the ladder and Tenay says "almost like Kaz suplexed the ladder onto Cage's body". Fucking genius.
-KAZ GOES FOR THE LEGDROP OFF THE TOP, AND CAGE MOVES AND KAZ'Z LEGS HIT THE LADDER. JESUS FUCK.
-Cage climbs again and keeps Kaz at bay, but Kaz springboard dropkicks him off it.
-AJ and Tomko come down to help out, CAGE WAVES THEM OFF AND MAKES THEM LEAVE.
-Kaz and Cage fight some more as the heels argue, and the ladder tips over and Cage lands on them.
-Kaz kicks himself back over with the ladder to stand upright and gets the contract down to right his fight.
***1/2

Post match, Cage is carried out as Kaz celebrates.

In the back, the contest is still happening as JB tries to get a free beer. Storm makes him grab a flask out of Jackie's top. EY brings out a beer bong and Storm downs it and dances it around, and then EY does one himself. Storm gets mad now as he pours straight Jack down it and drinks all of it and falls on his ass before he manages to sit back down. He challenges EY to make it to the door first to declare the winner, AND JAMES PASSES OUT AND HITS HIS HEAD ON THE TABLE AS JACKIE SAYS THAT SON OF A BITCH IS OUT. EY gets the title and takes the last 6 pack and shouts he's the champion. Storm starts crying, and JB steals the last of the Jack as he says it's a been a long day.

Hype for the main event.

The mystery partner is...

It's 2007 and he's mostly washed and beyond giving a shit, so i assume this will be horrible until the MEM forms in a year.

Match#8 Kurt Angle (c) & Kevin Nash vs Booker T & Sting (TNA Worlds Heavyweight Championship-Tag For The Title)
Sting starts and we get some fine stuff with the heels as the fans chant for Booker T to wrestle, and they get more and more wild for the eventual run. He gets in as DW does his best DW job to make me care, and Booker cares to a point and does ok, but 2002 it is not. Sting gets back in and is isolated and Kurt does the bulk of the work as Kevin Nash continues to be the laziest and most amazing dude ever. Booker get the hot tag and it's Lukewarm at best, and even Nash takes a kick to make it better than it actually is. AJ and Tomko run down and attack Sting and Booker T. OH SHIT. Karen gets involved so Sharmell makes her debut and they have a bad cat fight. As that happens, Kurt hits Nash with the belt and hits Sting with an Angle Slam and drags the ref back in to retain.
3/4*

In the ring, Tomko and AJ point at Karen and shake Kurt's hand. Christian walks out with his face all messed up and looks PISSED.