Donnie watches TNA 2007

[BigVanDonnie]

TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Vacant-17/5/07
TNA X-Division Champion: Chris Sabin-14/1/07
TNA World Tag Team Champions: Team 3D-15/4/07

TNA IMPACT
May 31st, 2007
Impact Zone

TONIGHT; AJ VS JARRETT

Corny is in the ring to open the show. He says it was meant to be AJ vs JJ, but due to very serious family issues he's dealing with, Jeff will not be here tonight. His wife Jill passed from cancer (on the same date at Owen Hart passed in a horrible twist of fate), so he's gone for the next year. The Christian Collation now come out in full as Cage says if AJ had forfeited, TNA would be chucking a massive party. They''re going to have a party and HE'S NOT INVITED. YEAH GOT HIM. He demands he declare AJ the winner and raise his hand. He says TNA is being run like a complete joke and he knows Jim's game trying to put all the odds against him, but he still couldn't beat him decisively, and then he had to face LAX. Now he won't even tell him who he's facing. This is HIS show and he better not forget it. Jim says sorry for not doing business the way he wants. Well, he was going to announce AJ the winner, but he's not doing that now because that would be bad business. He thinks the fans want to see a match. so it's now AJ vs TOMKO. The big man lets out a massive smile as AJ freaks out. Cage calms him down and then asks who he's facing. Jim says he's facing someone who Cage thinks is a punk beneath him. Worry about this problem, punk.

JB-
-JB plugs a txt line for some scoops.
-Daniels walks on and says he went to Sting for enlightenment and he set him on this path. Well, that light is too much for Sting. You're either consumed or embrace it. He's made his choice, now it's Sting's turn.

In the back, EY is sitting in Corny's office chair. Jim walks on as EY complains about Roode sending lawyers after him. Roode walks on and slaps him in the head, so Jim cuts him off and makes the match for the PPV with EY's job on the line or his freedom. Roode agrees to it, and promises that EY will never get in a TNA ring again. Backlund runs on AND SCREAMS HE PASSED THE DRUG TEST AND JIM NEEDS TO GIVE HIM THE MATCH AGAINST THE LYING STEALING MAN AND THIS IS A BATTLE AGAINST MORALITY. Jim screams he's 60 and he needs a doctors clearance. and Bob keeps screaming but seems to agree to it. Jim storm off as Bob and EY look at each for a little bit.

Christopher Daniels comes out to face Rhino, but Sting jumps him and kicks his ass for last week. Sting eats him alive with a chair shot and just batters him like he's a complete level above (he is, but you get my point) and makes him eat a ton of shit. They fight in the crowd as Sting walks him down with amazing punches to the head and face. Daniels is a punching bag as the beating ramps up as he gets thrown into wall and stairs. Sting cracks him with the bat and drops it at his feet and tells him to not mess with him. He walks off as Daniels is pretty much dead.

In the ring, Rhino says he was here to kick Daniels ass, but he's not leaving and he's issuing an open challenge to gore someone in half. LAX now come out to the ring. Konnan gets the mic and talks about the conspiracy TNA has against him, and finally gave the Dudley's a million matches against them until they stole the titles, Rhino started a beef last week, now they've got beef with him. They are the illiest, nastiest team in the world. He better pick someone to have his back, but then he sees Hector and says he can't look in a mirror anymore because he sold out and he's like money thats' been laundered. Huh?? Anyway he challenges him to a fight, and the old man gets in and stands on the apron with Rhino as we go to break.

Match#1 Homicide w/LAX vs Rhino w/ Hector Guerrero
We come back with Rhino pinballing our hero around, but Ci fights back and kills him with the Tope Con Hilo and beats his big stupid ass down with some cool offence, and looks amazing as hell. Rhino takes a wonderful beating selling his ass off, and really helps Ci a ton. Rhino makes a comeback and hurls him over the place once more. He fights off LAX and nails the Gore to win.
**

LAX jump him right away and strangle him, but Hector saves and fights Konnan. Hernandez turns the tide as Konnan uses the crutch to kill him as well. CHRIS HARRIS RUNS DOWN TO SAVE AND FIGHTS EVERYONE, BUT KONNAN HITS HIM IN THE BACK WITH THE CRUTCH AND LAX LAY HIM OUT AS WELL. Konnan buries Hector under the flag.

JB-
-Joe tries to talk, but Kurt walks on and tells him to stop worrying about AJ and Tomko, and start worrying about him. He told everyone he would warn them before he cripples them, and he's going to cripples Joe. Joe stares him down and tells him he better hope he doesn't get to him first. Let the games begin.

In the back, AJ yells at Cage for getting him into a another predicament. This is like Ricky in the 3rd grade fighting and they would both get into trouble. Cage asks if he's got a tear in his eye. AJ yells that he was meant to help his career, and now he's facing Tomko. Christian calms it down and says they're like a family and they're his brothers. They will fight tonight and the best man shall win and all will be well. He makes them put their hands in, and calls Tomko grubby. He tells them to say Christian, and AJ does, but Tomko shoves him against a wall and tells him tonight will be short and painless.

Match#2 Chris Sabin vs Kaz
Nooooooooo, not this match up. The fans chant for Sabin right away as they don't want a piece of Kaz, and it's the best thing these dopes have done in a long time. Sabin bumps like a madman for all of Kaz's awful offence as he's never changed a thing from his debut, and it's exactly why i hate him. Anyway, Sabin thankfully kills him with an amazing tope to take over, and beats the shit out of this goofy moron. Super fun cheating and shit talk, and it works even better against a nothing like Kaz. Sadly, Kaz comes back with all the "cool" offence he can think of, and once again it's Sabin's amazing bumps that make it work so damn well as he's breaking his neck on everything. Kaz does hit a sick running knee to catch Sabin on the top, but he gets distracted by the droogs in the crowd, and Sabin knocks him down and kills him with a sweet hesitation dropkick and then the Cradle Shock to win.
**1/2

In a pre-tape, BG cuts a really awesome promo about being nearly killed by these asshole and how he and his brother are going to make them pay in ways they've never dreamed of.

In the back, Dutt tells Jay and Nash that the Player from the Himalayas is dead, and he's going to show the real Sonjay next week.

Match#3 AJ Styles vs Tomko (KOTM Qualifying Match)
Christian comes out to cheer both men on. Tenay says next week it will be two former world champions facing off for the next spot. AJ eye pokes him to have a chance, but Tomko cracks him and throws him around the joint, and AJ takes a wild bump to the floor. We come back from the break with AJ in control, and we see AJ chop blocked him after Cage got into Tomko's face. Short but super fun control on the legs as AJ is a mean little shit, but also too in love with impressing Cage as it keeps costing him chances to win. Great fucking kicks to the knee and thigh that are super loud and gross looking. Kurt comes out (in full gear) to watch, and Joe comes out and stares him down. Back in the ring, Tomko comes back with punches and bashes AJ's head in for his crimes. Awesome comeback showing all his power offence and a future a babyface if TNA ever went that way. AJ drops him with the Pele and then the Forearm out of nowhere. He grabs a chair as the ref is distracted by Cage, but Tomko KILLS him with an insane boot to the jaw for a 2.9 count. Cage picks the chair up as Tomko sees it, and they argue over it, AND AJ ROLLS HIM UP TO STEAL THE WIN.
**3/4

At ringside, Kurt and Joe argue as Tomko chases after Cage. Back in the ring, AJ dances to end the show.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Vacant-17/5/07
TNA X-Division Champion: Chris Sabin-14/1/07
TNA World Tag Team Champions: Team 3D-15/4/07

TNA IMPACT
June 7th, 2007
Impact Zone

TONIGHT; STORM VS HARRIS IN THE NEXT KOTM QUALIFIER. JESUS YES

Match#1 Robert Roode w/Ms Brooks vs Jerry Lynn
Lynn makes Roode work his terrible bullshit to start, and it's both awful and maddening that it's still happening. Tenay plugs the txt line to vote for who people thing Cage will face next week, and the options are Steiner, Jericho and JJ. Which is really shitty to include Jeff after what happened last week. Fucking TNA. Roode takes over and does fine offence, but he's not killing himself against this fool in a fair choice. Roode slips in a lowblow and wins with the Payoff aka the Perfect Plex
1/2*

Roode beats up Lynn for a while until EY makes the save with a chair. He goes after Roode, so he shoves Brooks into the way and EY throws her into the ring. The faces go to kill her, but Corny shows up and says he won't have men beating up women in TNA (guess the last 5 years didn't happen) but she is going to get beaten up tonight. She's facing Gail Kim TONIGHT.

Leticia-
-She finds Tomko arriving and she asks if he's ironed it out with Cage, and he deadpans he can't do that when the phone number has been changed and he's been avoided like the plague. He says tonight he's going to have nowhere to hide.

In a pre=tape, Daniels talks about his convictions being too much for Sting, and it's time for him to make a choice. Um, pretty sure he did that when he beat the life out of you, you loser.

In. another pre-tape, Mike is standing by with Sting and Daniels. Sting explains that Daniels invited them both here, so the floor is his. Daniels says he saw Sting when he lost the title 5 months ago knowing he would give him good advice, and he did just that. Sting says he didn't do that all as he told him to go down one road, and he's going down the other. Daniels says he's god like and he's having to embrace things as best he can, and now understands taking pain and paying penance. Sting is really confused now, and Daniels says he paid it last week he was beaten up. He promises Sting he will make it right. Sting tells Mike he wish he could believe him.

In the back, Brooks attacks Gail for a bad cat fight.

In the back, Jay thinks he's facing Jake Roberts, and Kev tells him he's facing Sabin. Sonjay walks on in a white outfit preaching about the beauty of the earth and the family he loves. He says the old Sonjay is dead and buried, and he's now the guru.

In a pre-tape, we see James Storm confronting a NFL player Frank Wycheck. They argued a bit, and then Frank broke a guitar over James head. Nah, fuck off. Don't even think about it, Russo.

JB-
-AJ tries to talk, but Kurt walks on and says he's going to cripple his ass and he can't do anything about it.
-AJ freaks out and asks why he would say that! He looks for Cage, and then Christian comes out of a door wearing glasses and a hood and he grabs AJ and shuts it.

Match#2 Gail Kim vs Ms Brooks
Brooks is no way a trained wrestler because it's the 2000's, and you know the deal. So, yeah this is fucking awful and lame as possible as Gail tries her best to get through it. Gail wins with a terrible pin.
1/2*

Post match, Roode comes down to the ring, so Gail tries to fight him but Brooks attacks from behind. He cheers her on as she kicks the hell out of her.

In the back, Tomko demands to know where Cage is, and JB points him in the right direction.

Hype for 3D/Steiners. Nope.

In the back, Tomko finally finds Cage and throws him against a wall and demands to know why he screwed him. Christian says he saw him three years ago at a wrestling show and he saw something hin him, and offered him an autograph and found he was a prison guard who dreamt of being a wrestler. He made him a big shot instead of feeding losers like Abyss. He really screwed him when he got him hired here, and he gave him a chair last week and he messed it up. He told him NOT TO THINK, and he needs to remember who put him in the big time and got him out of debt. They need to put it aside and wait for him his time, and he wants to know if he's with him or not. Tomko says yes and then leaves.

Match#3 Chris Harris vs James Storm w/Jackie Moore (KOTM Qualifying Match)
STORM STANDS ON THE FLOOR AND DARES HARRIS TO FIGHT, AND THEY GO AT IT AGAIN WITH AMAZING WILD PUNCHES, AND BRAWL INTO THE CROWD. Incredible fight of pure hate and venom as they go all around the zone bashing each other's faces in. Harris gets hurled through a wall and messes his elbow up, but he fights through and AND JUMPS OFF THE BUCKLES AGIAIN FOR ANOTHER TREMENDOUS DIVE OVER THE RAILS ONTO STORM. FUCK YEAH. Storm finally cuts him off and shoves his head into a chair and smashes it down with another one, and Harris' head is ripped open in another gusher. We come back from break where Harris catches Storm running at him and slams his face into the rail and busts him open in revenge. Harris punches at the cut with rights and lefts, but Jackie causes a distraction to let Storm come back. They get more plunda out as the ref is letting it all go, and they bash each other with trash can lids to the face because fuck yeah man. THEY HIT EACH OTHER OVER AND OVER, AND HARRIS GRABS A CAN AND BREAKS IT OVER STORM'S FACE FOR A WILD 2.9 COUNT. They fight over a chair in the corner and Storm catapults him into it for another super near fall. Storm lays him out on a table and hits a summersault bomb onto him to crush him through the table. Harris won't die and they fight up the ramp, AND STORM GETS A BEER BOTTLE AND CHUCKS IT AT HARRIS' FACE AND IT BREAKS ON THE WALL WHEN CHRIS DUCKS. CHRIS RUNS BACK AROUND AND SPEARS HIM THROUGH THE STAGE WALL TO KILL THEM BOTH. HOLY FUCK. The ref declares if they don't make it back to the ring, they're both counted out. Kurt walks out and watches as it, and Joe follows him out and goes nose to nose. The ref counts both men out.
***12

TNA refuses to let anything breathe as Joe and Angle fight at ringside as Kurt is a crazed cripple trying to make others just like him. The fight is fucking sick as Joe throws bombs in revenge and kicks his stupid head in. Blackshirts break it up and drag Joe away. ON THE OUTSIDE, AJ ATTACKS KURT, BUT HE GETS DRAGGED DOWN INTO THE ANGLE LOCK.

In the back, Christian and Tomko storm Corny's office to know who he's facing. Jim says it's easy as it's someone Christian as said is beneath him.

Back at ringside, Kurt and Joe are screaming at each other.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Vacant-17/5/07
TNA X-Division Champion: Chris Sabin-14/1/07
TNA World Tag Team Champions: Team 3D-15/4/07

TNA IMPACT
June 14th, 2007
Impact Zone

In the back, Corny goes to Kurt's lockeroom and says they're having a meeting in ten minutes. He walks off and tells Joe the same thing, and then walks into Cage's lockeroom and tells AJ to come to the meeting alone. Christian walks over with a whiteboard and says he knows he's facing Shark Boy!!! Corny says he's got bigger fish to fry than to worry about him right now.

Match#1 Voodoo Kin Mafia & Team 3D vs Damaja & Basham & The Steiner Brothers.
EWWWWWW BROTHER. WHAT'S THAT BROTHER. Everyone is washed, fat, bad, lazy or near death, so of course this gets 5 minutes and has a long control seg from the heels who make up all the previous things i wrote. Even Scotty isn't working hard or being wild, so it's even more pointless and dumb. In a funny moment, BG tries to sandbag the brothers, so they fuck him up and kill him super hard with the Bulldog. 3D and the Steiner's finally fight and goodness it is BAAAAAD for the 20 seconds it goes. Christy sprays Billy in the eyes with something, and one of the Bashams rolls him up to steal it. (Kip made sure to kick out on 3 btw)
POOP.

Mike and DW say the NFL guy Wycheck from last week will wrestle on the PPV this Sunday.

In the back, Corny has all three men with him and he tells them not to do anything, and Kurt says he was just going to cripple someone. Joe gets mad, and AJ jumps on a table and gets yelled at by Corny and called an idiot. Jim says Kurt and Joe have made this show all about them and he's damn sick of it. AJ is nothing but Christian's sock puppet instead of being as phenomenal. He's an idiot. He makes a match. Tomko, Sting and Rhino vs the three of them, and their spots are on the line if one of them is pinned. All he cares about ratings and they're going to help him. He wants them to kill each other for the fans and the numbers. AJ calls him selfish, and Joe kicks a table in anger,

Recap of LAX's attacks over the last few weeks.

JB-
-He plugs that awful txt line.
-Hector and Harris walk on the scene. Chris says LAX took a shot at him and he's still standing here!! If they want a war, they've got one. They're bringing the war machine Rhino with them.
-Hector speaks Spanish to Konnan and tells him to come to the PPV.

Tomko doesn't come out for the match, and no one seems to really care. After everyone makes their intro's, we see Tomko out cold backstage.

Match#2 Samoa Joe, AJ Styles & Kurt Angle vs Rhino & Sting (KOTM Redemption Match)
AJ is throw to the wolves by Kurt and Joe, and takes a wonderful beating for his old buddy Rhino. The other two get in and fight him, and thats fine but it's not AJ Styles. Kurt gets isolated during the break and his partners both refuse to tag in, so Sting kicks his ass. Joe gets in and cleans house as a fuck you to Kurt, and finally works with him to beat Sting up. They argue again, and Christopher Daniels runs down and blind tags in and hits Sting with the Last Rites right in front of the ref, and Joe and Kurt dog pile to beat him.
3/4*

LMAO What in the hell was that, Russo. Not only did you make DQ's not real for the 600th time, but now you've made everyone else look like complete chumps and morons. I fucking hate him so much. Even with a few good minutes of wrestling on TV, he still ruined it. Truly one of a kind.

In the back, Sonjay gets Nash and Jay to hold hands and admit they love each other. Nash deadpans that no one loves a man more than another man, and gives Jay a look. They yell a lot to end it.

Abyss makes his return to face Christian.

Match#3 Christian Cage vs Abyss (KOTM Qualifying Match)
Abyss is finally motivated and caring again as he messes Cage up with cool big monster offence as he pinballs this shit around the ring. He carries him around the ring with one arm and then press slams him to the floor in a sick bump. He keeps battering him, and it's the best he's looked in a year to be quite honest.He keeps murdering Cage and cutting him off. Tenay announces Sting vs Daniels at the PPV, and also says Corny will announce the last man for KOTM at the PPV as well. Anyway, Abyss keeps killing Cage, so Tomko comes out and boots him in the skull for another no DQ because it's not real. AJ comes out to help, but he gets thrown onto Tomko for his troubles. Abyss gets a chair and cracks Cage in the skull for the DQ, He kills the ref for the hell of it.
**

Abyss goes mad and tries to kill Cage, so blackshirts run out to stop him. He kills them all and then dumps out a bag of broken glass. The Collation jump him again, but he fights them off and clears the ring. Tomko wants to fight him, but the others hold him back.

Awesome history video hits to close us out.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Vacant-17/5/07
TNA X-Division Champion: Chris Sabin-14/1/07
TNA World Tag Team Champions: Team 3D-15/4/07

TNA SLAMMIVERSARY
JUNE 17TH, 2007
NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE
NASVILLE MUNICIPAL AUDITORIUM

All time amazing poster.

TNA follows it up with a tremendous history package to open the show.

Match#1 LAX w/Konnan vs Rhino & Senshi w/Héctor Guerrero
The crowd is white hot for LAX in a wonderful moment for this rag-tag-tag match out of nowhere. The faces are a house of fire as they beat and bash poor Ci around the ring, AND RHINO HITS A FUCKING ALLEY OOP ON ACCIDENT AS CI SLIPS OUT OF HIS HANDS ON A POWEBOMB AND CI LANDS ON THE FUCKING CONCRETE AS HE GOES OVER THE TOP ROPE JESUS CHRIST. Ki joins the fun and is amazing against the big man as he kicks the shit out of him super hard, and Rhino helps to drop him. Hernandez snaps and throws Ki by the neck twice across the ring, and Ci gets in to control him with some killer offence against his old pal. He breaks out a sweet elbow drop and really beats his head in, and its wonderful watching LAX get back to what put them on the map. Ki slowly fights out and finally bites Hernandez and kicks him in the head to get out, and Rhino goes wild on his hot tag wreaking shop in amazing fashion. KI HITS A SPRINBOARD FOREARM ON THE BIG MAN TO DROP HIM ON THE FLOOR. Konnan throws in the slapjack, but Hector hangs him on the ropes and he turns into the Gore for the loss.
***

At ringside, DW says Scott Steiner was injured over the weekend in Puerto Rico, so he's out of the tag title match. Also, Tomko will face Abyss in a No DQ match.

They oddly run the hype video for KOTM.

In the back, Gail promises EY she'll have his back tonight.

Big Sexy joins commentary for the next match. Sonjay also comes out to throw flowers to the fans as he's a guru now.

Match#2 Chris Sabin (c) vs Jay Lethal (TNA X-Division Championship)
Jay runs at him to tire him out as it forces Sabin to run for it each time, and Jay catches him and hits him with amazing punches and cool big moves. Sabin finally cuts him off with a knee to the jaw and a facebuster to smack his head off the mat. He works on the neck with some fancy holds that i assume Shelley taught him, and it's fantastic work. He cuts him off with an eye poke and gets cheap and mean, and it's good stuff watching him be a little prick as its all coming together once more. Jay comes back using armdrags like he's Ricky, and they're fantastic and smooth as heck as he unloads a beating of sweet revenge against Sabin. They move into the finishing run rather quickly as this is only 8 minutes, but it's a fun back and forth of close calls and big bombs. Jay hits the combo and then the Elbow to win the title in a big shocker.
**12

Post match, Nash celebrates with Jay in a wonderful moment.

Hype for Storm/NFL guy. Storm swears to give him the last concussion of his life, and it turns out he died from CTE so i guess Storm did the job.

In the back, Storm screams that NFL guy crossed the line when he stood in his world, and he's going to make him sorry about doing this. Kiss your family goodbye because you're about to lose everything. Sorry bout your damn luck.

Match#3 James Storm & Ron Killings w/Jackie Moore vs Jerry Lynn & Frank Wycheck
Truth is back from the void to fight these losers in an odd choice to say the least. Of course, making Storm do this after having one of the best matches ever is also an odd choice, but TNA IS odd, so fuck it. Storm does an amazing job of stooging for this idiot as he puts on a helmet and makes fun of him, and the crowd wants him dead. Storm drops him and then bumps like a mad man for him as Storm is a sneaky fantastic comedy heel when he needs to be. Storm drops him with a lariat on the outside on the concrete and beats his face in, and it's not too shabby at all as Storm is both a violent asshole, and also takes time to make fun of him and piss the crowd off. Truth and Lynn also do things, but its past time for both of them at this point, so it's not worth covering. Things break down and NFL guy whits Storm with a Cradle Piledriver to win.
**

Hype for Shelley/Bob.

Match#4 Alex Shelley vs Bob Backlund
DW says Bob singed ONE autograph this weekend as you needed to recite every president in order, and only one woman did it. Bob was ready to snap on her as a result. Bob takes Alex to school with double legs and chops, and meets the kid at every turn despite not wrestling for a decade. Shelley eye pokes him and locks in fancy arm lock to wear him down, BUT BOB DEADLIFTS HIM LIKE OLD TIMES AND SITS HIM ON THE TOP ROPE AND SLAPS HIM IN THE FACE FOR IT. He keeps beating the tar out of him, so Sabin runs down and trips him, but he gets crotched for his troubles. Bob drop toe holds Shelley into Sabin's dick, AND HE GETS A FANCY ROLL UP TO STEAL THE WIN. FUCK YEAH
**

Post match, Shelley shakes his hand, but Sabin attacks from behind, but Bob strangles him to death and then does the same to Shelley. Nash runs down and breaks it up. Lynn weirdly comes out to stand by Bob's side, AND NASH KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. OK FUCK YEAH. The Guns beats up Lynn for being the worst and shake hands, and Lethal now runs down and cleans house on them. Nash leaves the ring as Jay demands an answer, but Nash just stares at him for a while.

The lights go out and we find Daniels in the crowd. He repeats all his bad promos over the last few weeks about Sting not being true to his word and whatnot. Daniels declares himself a God and swears to take Sting's eye in some old school Biblical work.

Hype for VKM/Bashems.

Match#5 Voodoo Kin Mafia vs Damaja & Basham w/Christy Hemme
VKM finally squash these hacks in about 2 minutes and change. Bad offence and selling all round, but its at least short and not as painful as the last match they had. Kip beats one with a rollup.
1/6*

Post match, Kip chases after Christy and she runs into Lance Hoyt's arms when he comes out the ramp. He carries her down to the ring and feeds her to Kip, but then he kicks him in the skull and helps the Bashams beat VKM's asses. Christy jumps in his arms and kisses him. Good for them.

In the back, Jim tries to get Rick Steiner to forfeit as he's alone, but Rick says he's got a partner and whispers it into Jim's ear, and he makes the match.

LAX DRAG HECTOR INTO THE CROWD AND KICK THE CRAP OUT OF HIM FOR HIS SINS.

Hype for Roode/EY.

Match#6 Robert Roode w/Ms Brooks vs Eric Young (Freedom Match)
Yes, that's what it's being called by TNA. EY is a house of fire right away as he trucks Roode with some killer punches and then takes him out with a stunning dive onto the floor. Roode takes a beating before throwing him into the rails to quickly take over. Another very solid control seg from Bobby as is the norm, and EY is a great punching bag for it as he leans into everything to make Bobby look even better than he already is. EY makes a spirited comeback doing his best Flair impression with the corner bump and dancing with Brooks in between kicking Roode's ass. He nails a sick tope to send him into the rails and stays on him with a beating. Brooks tries to help, but EY takes her out with a sick double DVD onto her and Roode. Bobby rolls out and gets a chair and drills EY in the face to steal the win. However, Corny comes out and restarts it like an actual boss doing his job in a first for wrestling. Roode decks EY with punches that Mike calls Piston like, so you know HHH fell in love in that moment. Gail comes out and fights Brooks away as she promised. Roode takes too long gloating, and EY pulls him into a tight cradle to win his freedom.
**3/4

JB-
-Bubba cuts the same tired lame terrible promo he's been cutting since he got here. BEYOND done with him until the heel turn that should hopefully give them new life.

Rick's partner is

ROAD WARRIOR ANIMAL IN 2007. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH

Match#7 Team 3D (c) vs Rick Steiner & Road Warrior Animal (TNA World Tag Team Championships)
This is worked as a true snails pace as anything faster will kill these two legends in a heartbeat. Animal is so bad that he falls down to a knee on a shoulder block, and snadbags all of 3D's work. Truly a smart idea to bring him in instead of just scratching the match. Rick is also horrid and old as shit, and it leaves me feeling bad for 3D as a collective, so you know its BAAAAD. 3D beat Rick with a 3D to end our pain.
LOLTNA

Hype for Sting/Daniels

Sting comes down from the rafters in a really cool moment.

Match#8 Sting vs Christopher Daniels
Sting smokes him for the first minute or so to really go with the theme of this being a terrible feud, and Sting in 07 being a real asshole. Daniels flings him off the apron into the rails to hurt his ribs, and he attacks them. Really gross knees to them and the chest in a reminder he's still great at this, and he even throws in some sick as fuck body blows to really show off. Sting's selling is pretty good, but the real story is how amazing Daniels looks as Sting finally gives him the spotlight and he runs away with it. Sting then of course no sells and runs through him like he's a nothing and wins with the Deathdrop when he easily reverses one Daniels tries. FUCK YOU, STING.
**1/2

in the back, the Collation is standing by. Cage says he's pissed off at being called a former champion, and after tonight that's never being said again. Cage fakes tears as he thanks AJ for sacrificing himself for him in the KOTM, and he gives him a big hug and says this is a beautiful thing he's doing. AMAZING. He demands Tomko end Abyss or he's coming for him, and Tomko slaps him in the chest and sarcastically says he'll get right on that. Cage hugs AJ as AJ says their gear matches and now they're a real team. Cage smiles at him like a loving dad.

Match#9 Tomko vs Abyss (No DQ)
Babyface Abyss is now throwing these horrible looking punches that hit at the wrist instead of the actual fist, and i've never seen anyone throw such a bad looking punch before. Tomko thankfully rules and throws actual good looking shots as he beats this giant turd up with sick looking punches. They keep having a battle of good vs terrible offence for a while, and it's not a lot of fun. Abyss brings out his bag of tacks, and Tomko chokebombs him onto them to cover his arms and back. Abyss comes back again and brings out the most obvious fake looking glass ever as it's covered in white powder and doesn't even crack when he stands on them, Tomko gets a piece and stabs him in the head, and TNA has to zoom out as Abyss blades in the ring without really bothering to try and conceal it. Tomko gets a barbedwire bat and hits him a few times as they fight near the stage. They both climb to the top of the set and Abyss pulls Tomko off into a bunch of boxes covered with a black tarp. Abyss hits a terrible elbow drop to expose the hundreds of boxes in an amazing LOLTNA moment. They both climb out of the fun looking pit and go back to the ring where Abyss hits a horrrrible looking BHS into the glass to win. What a piece of shit.
3/4*

JB-
-Kurt and Joe are there, and Kurt wants them to agree to bloody and punish each other and do what they've gotta do. Joe pulls him in for a handshake and promises to break him.

We go to a pre-tape with Jeff Jarrett. He talks about how TNA has become such a massive wrestling company after 5 years and all that has come from it. He becomes very emotional as he covers attacking Hogan and what it meant to him to take TNA to him. He brings up his wife Jill, and then is unable to speak for a moment as he struggles to catch himself. He says she's the one who encouraged him to a fault to start TNA and to do this, She helped TNA be here today, and it was her passion that inspired him. She beat cancer 11 years ago, but it came back two years ago and she passed on the 23rd of May and won the race of true deep love. He speaks about love being the biggest thing she cared for. He doesn't know if he's coming back to the ring as he's not prepared and it's the worst place for him right now. He thanks everyone for their support, and thanks them all on behalf of Jill.

One of the hardest things i've sat through, but a true reminder of what actually matters in this world.

In the ring, Corny is standing by with Mike Tenay. He speaks about JJ being deserving of being in the match, but that's not happening and Jeff asked Jim to give CHRIS HARRIS his spot. Fuck yeah.

Match#10 AJ Styles vs Kurt Angle vs Samoa Joe vs Chris Harris vs Christian Cage (TNA Worlds Heavyweight Championship-King of the Mountain Match)
- Joe tackles Kurt in the corner as everyone fights each other, and we get some new cool matchups after months of the same tired stuff for the most part.
-Cage and AJ team up and do cool double teams and high five, AND CAGE MAKES AJ LAY DOWN FOR HIM, AND KURT BREAKS IT UP AT THE LAST SECOND.
-AJ goes on a sweet run of offence and dropkicks Harris in the face, AND ROLLS UP CAGE AS A FUCK YOU FOR A 2.9 COUNT.
-Joe drags AJ out and smacks his head into the rail to take him out, and gets in and wreaks Cage's day with his amazing offence.
-Harris and Cage fight for the first time and match up very well. AJ tries to help, but Harris nails the Cationic to be able to Hang the title
-AJ is locked in the box
-Joe picks up a ladder and hurls it at Cage and Harris' faces
-Kurt and Joe fight again and you know the deal
-Cage fights them both and gets locked in the clutch and angle lock for his troubles.
-AJ is let out of the box
-He fights Harris like it's 2005, and then fights Joe for the best stuff in the world again.
-He tries to Clash Kurt, but he gets turned into the Angle lock, BUT AJ COUNTERS AND KICKS KURT OUT OF THE RING
-HARRIS BACKDROPS AJ ONTO CAGE LYING PRONE ON A LADDER IN A SICK BUMP
-Harris goes to hang the title, and Kurt catches him on the ladder and hits the Angle Slam to pin him.
-Kurt can now hang the title, and Harris is going to the box
-Joe takes everyone out and kills AJ with the Muscle Buster, but Kurt breaks it up and accidentally hits the ref
-Joe locks in the choke and misses Kurt tapping out
-Cage smacks Joe in the face with the ladder to knock him out cold, and then pins a dead Kurt to send him to the box.
-Kurt kicked out on the 3 btw in a weird moment.
-Cage goes to hang the title, but Joe meets him, AND HITS A FUCKING ACE CRUSHER OFF THE TOP. JESUS CHRIST.
-Harris goes to climb and knocks Joe out with the belt, and then throws Cage off when he tries to stop him
-AJ COMES OUT OF NOWHERE WITH A SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK TO FINALLY KNOCK HIM DOWN.
-Kurt is out of the box
-AJ climbs on top of the box as Joe follows him up for another awesome fight.
-AJ kicks him in the dick, BUT JOE SITS DOWN AND GRABS AJ BY THE ARMS AND THROWS HIM OFF THE TOP THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE. HOLY FUCK YES.
-

-CAGE AND HARRIS NOW FIGHT ON TOP OF THE BOX AND HARRIS HITS A GORDBUSTER TO GET RID OF HIM, AND THEN FOLLOWS UP WITH A FLYING LARIAT TO ANGLE.
-Harris uses the ladder to swing it into Kurt's infamous bad neck and Cage's head
-Harris goes to climb the ladder to hang it, but Cage shoves him off and smacks the ladder into Harris' head and face to knock him out.
-Cage now climbs up, but Kurt grabs his ankle and locks in the Angle Lock like a proper freak. Cage gets free and hits him with the title, but Kurt won't die and they have a tug of war, AND HARRIS SPEARS CAGE OFF THE LADDER. FUCK YEAH
-KURT STILL HAS THE TITLE AND HE HANGS IT TO WIN THE CHAMPIONSHIP
***14

The fans go wild for Kurt, and Joe gets back in and throws a ladder down in anger. He goes nose to nose with Kurt and offers his hand. KURT KICKS HIM IN THE GUTS AND HITS THE ANGLE SLAM AND SCREAMS LIKE A MADMAN TO CLOSE THE SHOW.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

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[BigVanDonnie]

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