Donnie watches TNA 2006

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett-3/11/05
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe-11/12/05
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; America's Most Wanted-22/10/05

TNA IMPACT; NEW YEAR'S SPECIAL
JANUARY 1ST, 2006
IMPACT ZONE

This is 21 minutes long in a really cool idea.

Christian and Tenay are in the ring as fireworks and the countdown to midnight go off. Mike officially announces STING as the newest member of TNA. Cage says this is a huge moment and he doesn't mean to upstage Mike, but he's announcing that the main event of Final Resolution on the 15th will be himself and Sting vs Jarrett & Monty. JJ shows up and mocks Cage for always going for cheap pops because he can't climb the mountain because he doesn't have what it takes, and that's how he rolls. Christian says it's nice to see he finally grew some nuts and showed life, so he's going to abuse him right now. They fight in the ring and it's really good again, but Monty attacks from behind to turn the tide. Rhino shows up and attacks JJ, but AMW get involved as well. 3D now show up and a massive brawl breaks out before the camera cuts out. Awesome stuff.

Match#1 America's Most Wanted (c) w/Gail Kim vs AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships)
Wonderful opening story of Daniels being hurt from the earlier attack, but fighting through and not letting it stop him. AJ holds up his end and helps him out and they mesh SO well together already, and have even better chemistry with AMW right off the bat. They dominate Storm for a while as beat him down and show off , but Harris sneaks in a lariat to Daniels to isolate him. AMW targets the bad brain with great strikes and work on the outside ramming him into the rails, and it's another fun shithead bully beating. Daniels selling rules as he's woozy and grabbing as his face in a way that truly makes you feel he could pass out at any moment as a result. Daniels manages to get free and tag in AJ! Our hero going insane on AMW with some awesome big bombs that send them all over the place. He breaks out the gorgeous flip dive onto them, and looks to have it in the bag, but Harris won't die and fights back. Finishing run is short but good as hell as they ramp it up big time. The ref is bumped and misses AJ pinning Storm after the Clash, and then Shannon Moore runs in the ring and kicks AJ in the back of the head and hits a diving neckbreaker to KO him, and Storm makes the pin to retain the titles.
***

"Shannon Moore just PUNKED AJ Styles"-Mike Tenay

A music recap of last weeks show closes us out.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett-3/11/05
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe-11/12/05
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; America's Most Wanted-22/10/05

TNA IMPACT
January 7th, 2006
Impact Zone

Tonight. Roode vs Truth. 6 man X-Division tag match. A special tribute to Sting.

Match#1 Team 3D vs Lex Lovett & Buck Quartermain
Mike announces AMW vs 3D for the titles at the PPV, which doesn't sound all that appealing, but they earned it. Fun little squash as they beat the tar out of the jobbers and look to care again, which is very nice of them. 3D ends it.
*1/2

Post match, Bubba gets the mic and says it's time to get down to business. He lists all the tag titles the've held over their career, which is 18 in total. Final Resolution will be their final destiny as the NWA titles are the most prestigious titles in this business. He would give up the other 18 reigns just to hold them ONCE! It would seperate them from all the other teams including the Road Warriors. Weird bit to throw them in when they never held the WCW/ECW titles, but Bubba has always been obsessed with them. STILL, really good promo as it's all passion.

In a pre-tape, Sonjay says Sting will bring all the fans to the company and give them the stamp of approval.

In the back, Shane speaks to Planet Jarrett. Jeff says Sting hasn't been on TV in 5 years yet TNA is rolling it all out for him, when they've never got any of that respect. He says they're going to give Sting a tribute of his own. EY asks if that might make him mad, so Jeff calls him a moron and asks him to find Monty. Asshole. D'Amore walks on and says Jackie has given him a letter and he read it and he wants to know if he has some loose lips, and it mentions Canada more than once. Jeff says women take everything out of context and it needs to stop. He takes the boys with him to get ready for later.

Konnan and his new crew come out to the ring for their match. Konnan says BG let Kip disrespect him when he drove a wedge between them. He declares his new force the Latin American Xchange. Awesome name, but it's going to take me a while to get used to any version that's not the real one.

Match#2 Homicide & Apollo w/Konnan vs The Naturals
This all of 27 seconds of Apollo being awful and Ci throwing one armed punches as his shoulder is cooked from an ROH show a few weeks before this. Konnan gets in and punches the ref for the DQ
5150

Konnan hits both of the Nats with the infamous Slapjack. BG & Kip run down and fight them on the outside, and Ci is way better here as he can straight up brawl. He throws Kip into the post, and LAX beat the shit out of BG and lay him out with the Slapjack. Kip runs back in with a chair and holds the ring.

In another pre-tape, Sabin says his favourite memory of Sting is at Starrcade 97.

In the back, Jackie storms out of Larry's office as he tries to chase after her, but Shelley, Aries and Roddy walk around the corner and get in his face! Larry says he doesn't have the time, but Aries gets pissed and cuts him off and says he bets he would have the time if he was Christopher Daniels or AJ. They came here because TNA is where NEW stars are meant to be made, but he sees old ones like Christian and Rhino. Larry says when he was coming up he picked fights and earned his spot. Aries laughs it off and asks if they're meant to pick a fight with some baseball players to get on TV. Larry says they need to win matches and it takes time. Aries once again says there is more to X-Division than Joe and AJ, AND THEY ARE THE NEXT GENERATION OF STARS. FUTURE LEGENDS, IF YOU WHEEL. They're not even on the next PPV, what's with that. Jerry Lynn shows up after months and months away and tells them to focus on their match tonight and stop whining and winning, they can be on the PPV. AMAZING segment.

Match#3 Ron Killings vs Bobby Roode w/Scott D'Amore
Truth wins with a rollup in 6 seconds.
LOL

Post match, Roode grabs the mc and screams no way and he wasn't ready and everyone knows it. He says 4LK is dead because he's a lowlife thug loner. Truth runs back in and the ref rings the bell again.

Match#4 Ron Killings vs Bobby Roode w/Scott D'Amore
Roode punches the hell out of him in anger and attacks him in the corner, and it's good stuff, but Truth fights back and gets another rollup to win when Roode tries to get the stick.
LMAO

This time, D'Amore gets the mic and calls this the cheapest crap he's ever seen, and he should get back in there now that they're ready for him. Truth gives chase, but Roode takes his head off with a Lariar and the match is back on.

Match#5 Ron Killings vs Bobby Roode w/Scott D'Amore
Bobby again kicks the hell out of him with gross chops and a nasty chin lock. Truth again fights back with a ton of fire and cleans Bobby's clock. D'Amore distracts him and it lets Roode hit the Northern Lariat to win.
*

In another pre-tape, AJ says he thought it was so cool when Sting when from the old school to the Crow. AJ never watched wrestling prior to starting, so this rules so much.

In the back, Samoa Joe ignores Shane at first, and then says he needs to ask Daniels what he thinks about him. The man who put him in hospital for a month and made it so he couldn't hold his newborn son. There's a thin line between brave and stupid, and you cross that line when you get in the ring with him. He's going to cover the towel with his blood and end his career. Shane asks for a comment on Sting, but Joe screws his face up and leaves.


Match#6 Alex Shelley, Austin Aries & Roderick Strong vs Christopher Daniels, Chris Sabin & AJ Styles
My fucking God what a lineup. Tenay then up this by saying AJ is facing Hiroshi Tanahashi at the PPV. Holy shit, 2006 rules already. Fantastic opening minutes as MCMG explode and go at it, and my goodness it's so good. The other get in and show off, and that's wonderful as hell as well. Aries is the first to break as he decks AJ after the dropkick with a gross forearm to the neck, and GenNext swarm him and beat the complete shit out of him! Offence and selling is the best, and everyone needs to watch this. ALEX MONKEY FLIPS AJ UP INTO A RODDY DROPKICK AND AJ FALLS BACK DOWN ON SHELLEY'S KNEES, AND ARIES COMES OUT OF NOWHERE TO HIT A SPRINGBOARD SENTON ONTO AJ AS HE'S STUCK THERE. Aries keeps it up and unloads a corner dropkick that breaks AJ's brains in half. AJ hits a hail Mary Pele and tags in Daniels, and the Angel goes off on his hot tag beating these little bastards butts. It all breaks down and we get a sick dive train, but Aries and Roddy smash Daniels face into the rail and he's out of it. AJ tries to save and fights Aries on the outside, but Sabin is all alone and eats a Gutbuster and the Slice-Bread#2 to give the boys the win.
***1/2

In another pre-tape, Christian says Sting showing up is a statement that TNA is the future of the business.

JJ now comes out and brings out members of the Planet dressed as different eras of Sting, EY as Surfer Sting. Harris as Crow Sting, and Storm comes out dressed as a chicken for some awful reason. Monty Brown nows comes out in a golf outfit with a baby in a pram to show he's now an old man who doesn't listen to Toby Keith anymore.

Monty cuts a Monty promo on the baby about being the Stinger of 2006 and says that's how he strolls. Christian now comes out very upset and says they look like jagoffs out there. He brings 3D out as well and they rush the ring for a fight. Abyss attacks the faces and kills them all, but Rhino runs down for the save, and DW says they're fighting at the PPV. Rhino kills him with the Gore and stands tall with the faces

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett-3/11/05
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe-11/12/05
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; America's Most Wanted-22/10/05

TNA IMPACT
January 14th, 2006
Impact Zone

Tonight. AMW vs Christian & Rhino. Mr TNA 2005 is awarded.

Match#1 Abyss w/James Mitchell vs Jay Lethal
Sadly a little over 90 seconds of Jay getting murdered, but it's a good murder. So, call it even. Mitchell is now pretending to have a detonator in his hand as TNA are cowards and won't give him a real one, but he presses it and the BHS ends it.
*

The 2005 TNA awards are announced in a video package and they are amazingly bad for the most part
-Tag Team of the Year-Team 3D
-Knockout of the Year-Jackie Gayda
-Match of the Year- Sabu vs Abyss at Turning Point
-Finisher of the year- Canadian Destroyer
-Feud of the Year - AJ vs Daniels (great work stealing my hard work, TNA)
-Moment of the Year- Christian's debut

In the ring, Mike covers said awards and officially announces AJ Styles as Mr TNA for the 3rd year in a row. AJ comes out and thanks the fans for it, and says Tanahashi is going to see who the most Phenomenal wrestler in the world is tomorrow night. Shannon Moore sneaks in and throws powder in AJ's eyes and steals the award. Punk thief over here.

Hype for AJ/Tana

They air a recap of 4LK's death and the debut of LAX, and show clips of Bullet getting knee surgery as a result.

in the back, Shane is with Kip and BG. BG doesn't know where all this crap this came from, or what pit of hell this came from where Konnan is concerned. They were family, AND THAT WAS MY DADDY, YOU SON OF A BITCH. YOU BOYS ARE HEADED FOR A HEAD ON COLLISION WITH THE JAMES GANG. Awesome promo, and a far better name for this team.

Match#2 Samoa Joe vs Cassidy Riley
Daniels joins commentary, and Joe smiles at him and shows off the bloody towel like the baddest motherfucker in the world. Chris says he's way too smart to play the obvious card of attacking him, and he's waiting until tomorrow where he can take all his cards in one fell swoop. Joe kills this complete nerd in amazing fashion with all the killer stuff, and Riley takes a beating. AJ and Moore run down fighting over the award and they get in the ring, AND JOE DECKS AJ WITH A FOREARM! AJ comes too and drops him in the Pele in revenge and runs back off. Joe is now pissed and nukes him with strikes and beats him with the Combo.
**

Post match, Joe gets a chair and goes for the Muscle Buster like he did to Daniels, and Chris shouts to leave him alone! And he can't help himself and runs in and fights him and they have a great fight before Daniels kicks the chair into Joe's face and smashes it off his back, and runs the big man off. Fantastic stuff.

In the back, Shane asks Jackie about the letter from last week and demands to know what was in it. Jackie refuses to answer and keeps saying this is between her and Jeff, and that letter had her demands in it. D'Amore walks on and says she's blowing this out of proportion, and Jackie says they're involved in something. Scott says he's a liar, but they should work together and make some money. Jackie says only if her demands are met would she do it. AJ and Moore run past and fight again until blackshirts drag a very pissed off AJ to the back.

Match#3 Petey Willams, A1 & Eric Young vs Chris Sabin, Sonjay Dutt & Matt Bentley w/Traci
DW shills all the DVD at ShopTNA.com. Bless. Fun 4 minute sprint as the good wrestlers work their asses off to cover for dorks like Matt and A1, and it's good times. Sonjay is isolated and gets his head beaten in. Shelley walks down and films the match, and DW dubs it the Shelley Cam. Sabin has a fun hot tag going nuts on everyone, and he and Petey are great together as always., and then things break down. Shelley trips Sabin from the outside, and Petey hits the CD to win.
**1/4

In a pre-tape, Raven covers the last 3 years since he showed up from stealing the title to getting scalped (as he calls it the most painful thing he's ever experienced) and winning the title. He actually hopes Larry brings in someone from his past again as there is no one who going to stop him from achieving his destiny once more.

In another pre-tape, JJ and Monty talk about the influx of WWE stars who are the flavour of the month, while they're getting pushed aside.. They promise to get rid of Sting and Christian and take TNA back for themselves. Sting is the flavour of the minute and that minute is ending at Final Resolution. JJ says he respects Sting, but the tribute was the truth and he'll show everyone.

Match#4 America's Most Wanted w/Gail Kim vs Christian Cage & Rhino
CC is now 100% awesome as a babyface as he and Harris go at it to start and he's bouncing him around with all the fire in the world. Shows how amazing he is that it only took this short of a time for it to click, and you'd think he was doing it for years. Rhino gets in and has his arm and shoulder targeted by AMW right away, and they wreak in great MX like fashion working a limb. Rhino's selling is very good. Cage gets a fake hot tag as he gets 20 seconds of offence before Harris belly to belly's him over the ropes to the fucking floor. Jesus, man. AMW beat the shit out of him, and his selling of the back rules so much. Rhino gets the tag is a house of fire and whatnot, and Storm eats a ton of sit for him. The bullshit hits when Gail sneaks in and boots CC in the nuts, and then 3D run down and shove her off the top. They get in the ring and hit Harris with the reverse 3D, and then Rhino kills Storm with the Gore. Cage hits the Frogsplash to win.
**3/4

Post match, another wild brawl breaks out as TNA can't help themselves as you can't go wrong with a good brawl, and i do love me some brawls. All the PPV opponents face off around and in the ring, and Monty kills Christian with the Pounce. JJ then breaks the guitar over his head and hugs Monty. THE LIGHTS GO OUT AND SEEK AND DESTROY HIT AND WE HERE THE FAMOUS WOOOOOO. HIS VOICE HITS AND HE SAYS TO LET THE MIND GAMES HIT AS HE CALLS OUT PLACES WHERE HE COULD BE, AND THEN SAYS IT'S GOING TO SHOWTIME AT FINAL RESOLUTION.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett-3/11/05
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe-11/12/05
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; America's Most Wanted-22/10/05

TNA FINAL RESOLUTION
JANUARY 15TH, 2006
IMPACT ZONE​

Match#1 Alex Shelley, Roderick Strong & Austin Aries vs Chris Sabin, Sonjay Dutt & Matt Bentley w/Traci
GenNext kicking off the PPV is such a heartwarming beautiful thing Shame this all goes away in a month because a snowstorm, but life ain't fair sometimes. Alex and Sabin both have tinted blonde and black hair and look like a team of sorts, and they should maybe form one and become all timers. They go at it again to start and it's beyond cool and good as hell, and everyone else plays their parts in the early parts very, very well. Sonjay gets crotched on the top rope, and the fellas quickly go to work beating the shit out of him in a wonderful control seg showing off everything they can do. Jerry Lynn watches at ringside as Mike explains he's now an agent working behind the scenes to help the kids in the Division. GenNext break out that sick combo on Sonjay, and this time Alex ends it with a gross crossface to twist Sonjay's stupid head off. Sabin has a fantastic hot tag going insane on them in a flurry, and it's the coolest stuff in the world. It all breaks down and hits that wonderful 100 miles an hour spotfest part where it's all mind blowing and awesome as possible. Matt takes Roddy out with the Superkick, but Shelley rolls him up with a handful of tights to steal it.
***

Post match, the fans give everyone a standing ovation in a well deserved moment.

Recap of 4LK's breakup. One thing to note is that silly dipshit Apollo no showed the PPV and has been fired, so LAX is now just Konnan and Ci for the moment. Might need to get a Machete to even it up.

Match#2 The James Gang vs Elix Skipper & David Young w/Simon Diamond
Tenay notes this is their fist PPV tag match in 6 years, and i sure hope TNA doesn't run a feud with the team they faced in that last match. Sort of ok showcase for the Gang, even if it's far too long at 7 minutes and change. Skipper and DY do the bulk of the work and help these assholes look good, which is far too kind of them to do. BG is isolated for a while, and the boys kick his teeth in, in a fun control seg. Kip has an awful hot tag and beats Skipper with the One & Only now dubbed "Bullet Ride"
*1/4

In the back, Shane is with Daniels talking about great moments making great careers. Christopher says he was amazed it took Joe 6 months to finally speak and be that inaccurate as he's never been beaten by Joe despite what he says. Joe said he's injured, yet last night he didn't look infirm when he beat him in half. Joe says he's going to take a new towel and mop up jhis blood with it. Well Joe, Look into his eyes, does he seem like a man scared to shed blood for something he believes in. Joe believes he's unbeatable and no man in the X-Division can stand up to him, well he believes there is a big difference in unbeaten and unbeatable. He believes the reign of terror is coming to a swift end, and there is only him and he's going to spread his gospel at his expense. Say your prays, Joe. Holy shit, that rocked.

Match#3 AJ Styles vs Hiroshi Tanahashi
A wild, wild match to even think it happened before the famous ones, but it's amazing it's here for all to see. Tana uses his speed and wonderful mat skill to get the best of AJ to start, so AJ uses his speed in return and smashes his face in with the dropkick to send him to the floor. AJ stays on him and lights him up with some shots, so Tana fires back with a gross headdrop German. Tana controls him for a while and while he's not the ACE and all that, he's still one of the best ever kids ever, and he dog walks AJ for a while with some great stuff. AJ rules as fighting from underneath as always and does everything he can to get out, and once he does he bashes him in return with stiff strikes and big bombs. They move into a fun back and forth finishing run, and it's good stuff as you'd expect with both dudes looking fantastic.Sadly, LOLTNA hits as Shannon Moore runs in and goes to hit AJ with the award, but he ducks and Tana gets brained with it. AJ takes Moore out with the Pele, and beats Tana with the Clash. Fuck you.
**3/4

Post match, AJ and Tana show respect for each other, but Moore runs back in and steals the award. This is awful, My God.

"Hype" for Raven and his mystery challenger.

In the back, Raven rants about power corrupting Larry and how he's destroyed his true love and the only reason he's never blown his brains out. Either way, someone's getting hurt.

In the ring, Larry covers the stip and brings out Sean Waltman as the mystery challenger. Great work bringing back this piece of shit after what he did to Candido's family. LOLTNA.

Match#4 Raven vs Sean Waltman (Title Shot vs Career-No DQ)
They have a plunder brawl and while it's not early 2005 for either man, it's still a ton of fun as they kill each other with nasty shots and die on every bump. Raven takes a trash can to the face and the TNA camera's film him blading for a full minute. Pac beats the crap out of him with a shopping trolley into the ribs over and over in a really gross series of shots that kill poor Raven over and over. THEY FIGHT ON STAGE AND RAVEN PUTS HIM IN IT AND THROWS HIM OFF THE STAGE, AND PAC CATCHES HIS BACK ON THE EDGE BEFORE HE FALLS OFF TO THE FLOOR. FUCKING HELL. Raven swarms him and kicks his ass back to the ring and brings in more plunder to wreak his brains. The ref gets taken out and Raven nails the Evenflow, but no one is there to count. Larry gets in and acts as the ref, but he slow counts for Raven like a real bastard. They move into a fun back and forth where Waltman gets his ass kicked and misses a bronco buster onto a ladder and crushes his dick. They fight on a ladder, but Larry grabs Raven's leg, AND PAC HITS THE X-FACTOR THROUGH A TABLE AND MAKES THE PIN. RAVEN GETS HIS FOOT ON THE ROPES BUT LARRY MAKES THE 3 ANYWAY AND ENDS RAVEN'S CAREER. SON OF A BITCH NOT LIKE THIS.
***

Might be my bias showing, but that was way more fun than it had any right to be, and you know what? Fuck it, my boy can have it.

Post match, Larry raises Sean's arm as we get an amazing camera shot of Raven's foot still on the ropes throughout. Larry gets the mic and drops an all timer "Hey Raven, as per our agreement, this was do or die, AND YOU LOOKED LIKE YOU DIED" He calls blackshirts out to kick him out of his arena. Cassidy runs down to try and help, but Raven tells him not to, and instead walks out without a fight.

In the back, Truth says he's always making history in TNA because he's the suntanned superman. Konnan walks on and is mad he never called him back. Truth says he's happy now and this is over. Konnan says he's always had his back and never gave him bad advice, and Truth agrees. Truth says he's can't trust him after what he did to Bob, and he's only trusting himself. Konnan keeps asking if thinks he would do that to him, and Truth can't give an answer. Konnan says Truth is outnumbered and LAX can and will have his back. Think about it.

In the back, Raven is walking out as Larry taunts him and throws his bags to him and tells him to have a nice trip and not to forget to write. Jackie Gayda walks on and speaks to Raven about having things in common like being screwed by people. She walks off with Larry as Raven is left standing there like an asshole.

Match#5 Ron Killings vs Bobby Roode w/Scott D'Amore
Truth keeps trying to roll him up like last time, and Bobby gets very upset. Truth keeps doing it and controls a lot of the start, and even hits a sick flip dive that catches Roode right in the head with his feet. D'Amore causes a distraction like he always does, and Roode slams Truth into the post to take over. Really good basic beating from Bobby for a while, and i mean that as a compliment as he's really built for it, and you can tell why HHH adores him so much. Truth fights back and we quickly move into the finishing run which is fine and whatnot, but Truth cracking his skull for longer is needed. Konnan comes out and maybe accidentally distracts Truth, and Bobby nails the Lariat to win.
**1/2

Post match, K-Dawg tries to make nice, but Truth wants no part of it and gets in his face. BG comes out and says we've got a family reunion and he's kicking his ass. He rushes the ring, but Homicide comes out from the other side and decks him! They beat him up as Truth walks off. Kip runs down and kills Ci with a chair shot and helps BG up to his feet.

In the back, Mitchell and Abyss are standing by. James says Sting showing up means the battle lines have been drawn, and Rhino is in a battle he can not win. He's too worried about his life and daughter over his career, and he could be world champion right now. His slaughter is coming and it will be the top of his recent loses. Tonight, Abyss has him scheduled for extinction.

Hype for Rhino/Abyss.

Match#6 Rhino vs Abyss w/James Mitchell
Woooo Monster fight. They trade blows right away and Rhino holds nothing back as his uses his compact size to punch a hole in the big man's life and pinballs him over the place. Great bumps from Abyss. They fight on the outside and use some chairs to kill each other, because fuck it kill each other. Good setups using it to brain each other in between fun brawling, and i have high hopes for a proper gimmick match between them down the line. Rhino cracks him in the skull with some wicked shots that drop him like a sack of shit. The last one catches Abyss right on top of his head. Mitchell grabs Rhino's leg with his cane, and Abyss is able to slip in a chain shot to the face. Mitchell CLICKS DOOMSDAY once, but Rhino is able to fight through and beats him down and goes for a Rhino driver, but Mitchell grabs his leg again to stop it. Abyss throws him off the ropes and catches him with an ugly BHS to win.
**1/4

Hype for AMW/3D

Match#7 America's Most Wanted (c) w/Gail Kim vs Team 3D (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships)
Bubba is wearing the Impact shirt on a PPV like the biggest laziest douchebag ever. Fine opening passage as AMW do their thing and make these two look good as they can, but man Bubba just looks awful outside of the super stiff chops. He's not bumping much or doing anything to help AMW, and D-Von isn't much better, so it's all on AMW. 3D gets a table, and Harris thankfully kicks it into their stupid faces and isolates D-Von. Fine control seg using a piece of wrist tape to choke and attack him, and it's not amazing or anything, but given 3D suck at this point, bless them for not working too hard. Bubba's hot tag is all AMW once more bumping and feeding before it breaks down into a fun brawl where 3D actually decide to give a shit and try. The ref gets blinded by powder and Team 3D hit Harris with the 3D and the ref counts 3. YUCK. BUT WAIT A MOMENT, TEAM CANADA COME TO SAVE US AS THEY HIT 3D WITH THE HOCKEY STICKS AND THROW HARRIS BACK ON TOP, AND WHEN THE REF GETS BACK UP HE THINKS HE COUNTED FOR HARRIS AND AMW KEEP THE TITLES. AMAZING BULLSHIT FINISH.
**

In the back, Jarrett cuts a wretched promo about politics and midcard clowns trying to get to their level. fuwruierwsedcvfbtsenarwsEafiswjegkrbjtkskgfwsda NAH FUCK OFF. I love you all, but i am on a new level of done with this hack bastard until his super amazing babyface run that almost makes me forget how awful this era truly is. Fuck Triple H's reign of terror, this shit is just as goddam bad if not worse at points.

Amazing hype video for Joe/Daniels. "For all the things i've done and choices i've made, i probably have hell to look forward to"-Daniels

Match#8 Samoa Joe (c) vs Christopher Daniels (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship)
As promised, Joe has a new towel for Daniels' blood. Daniels tries to slow it down, but once he eats gross Joe knee's, he gets sucked into it and turns into a mad flurry of offence that drops the big man time and time again. Joe gets mad now and unloads kicks and chops and that gross body lock he used on Sabin last year, and Daniels has to fight even harder to get back up. He does, but Joe breaks out "Joe moves from a dive" and Daniels eats shit, and Joe goes to work with more brutal stuff and bashes him in revenge. Daniels catches him with a hail Mary codebreaker and goes on a sweet run that targets the head and neck, and Joe bumps his big ass off. They move into a fun back and forth with a ton of cool shit like Joe hitting a motherfucker of a lariat, and Daniels hitting the BME for a super close call. Daniels knocks him to the floor and hits a stunning Arabian Elbow drop and looks to have it all in control, but he stupidly throws Joe back in to the ring and as he's putting his head back between the ropes, Joe takes it off with a gross kick right to his temple. JOE HITS THE OLE KICK INTO THE RAIL AGAIN AND DANIELS IS BUSTED OPEN. Joe sees the blood and starts elbowing the cut, AND HE LICKS THE BLOOD. GOD YES. He chucks him back in and torches Daniels' head with gross offence, and AJ walks out to ringside. Joe doesn't give a shit and keeps fighting him, and Daniels gets a flurry going but his legs give out and Joe murders him again. He hits the running knee right to the facer and hits the Muscle Buster. He gets the choke on but Daniels is the first man to get his feet in the ropes to break it. Joe snaps and grabs a chair, AND HE LIFTS DANIELS UP ABOVE IT AND STARES DOWN AJ FOR 10 SECONDS BEFORE HITTING THE MUSCLE BUSTER ON THE CHAIR. HE KNEES HIM IN THE FACE AND HITS A FUCKING PRIDE SOCCER KICK AND ANOTHER ONE. HE DROPS KNEE AFTER KNEE ONTO HIS SKULL AND AJ GRABS THE TOWEL AND CAN'T DO IT AT FIRST, BUT JOE KEEPS KNEEING HIM OVER AND OVER, AND AJ FINALLY THROWS IT IN. JESUS CHRIST.
***3/4

Joe grabs the title and backs up the ramp frothing from the mouth as AJ checks on a now dead Daniels. Another perfect chapter in the best book TNA has written.

Hype for the main event.

In the back, Christian says if you can't trust him, call his brother or Jericho. On second thought, not a good idea at all. Nah, ask the Christian Coalition sitting in the Impact Zone if they can trust him. He's proud to have Sting as his partner, and they can't stand either man in this match. No matter which Stinger shows up tonight, this midcard comedy act is going to win the NWA Worlds Championship from him.

Match#9 Sting & Christian Cage vs Monty Brown & Jeff Jarrett w/Gail Kim
Sting looks amazing and not even a new horrible theme can ruin a moment in time. Opening minutes is pure pro wrestling as our hero Christian owns these two goofs and then THE MAN CALLED STING gets in and shows he's still the man and the true heart and soul of pro wrestling who shows up to beat up the most insufferable humans this sport has to offer. Sting no sells JJ's bulldust and beats his dumb face in, and then does the same to Monty for being silly enough to try him. Christian gets in on the fun with some sweet Stinger Splashes (and maybe setting up something later on this year) but he gets shoved off the top to the floor in a gross bump and eats a rana from Gail, and then gets dropped rib first onto the rails. Really fun control seg on him as the heels beat the hell out of him with great basics and cheating, and Cage sells his ass off in the best face work thus far. The heels try a conchairto like real dicks, but Cage ducks and they take each other out, and he tags in Stiiiiing. He cleans house on them before the ref gets bumped by Monty. Brown hits the Fallaway Slam on Cage and sends him right into Sting who has JJ in the deathlock, and they go nose to nose!!!! Christian saves when Monty tries to use the title, and then nearly hits Cage but backs off and attacks JJ again. (this build rules) Team Canada try to help, but they take them out with Death-Drops. Sting eats the title shot from JJ, but he kicks out and powers up in classic Stinger fashion. STING BREAKS THE GUITAR WITH HIS BAT AND BEATS JARRETT WITH THE DEATHDROP. HELL YEAH MAN
***

A show full of heart, blood and some classic TNA nonsense. God Bless.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett-3/11/05
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe-11/12/05
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; America's Most Wanted-22/10/05

TNA IMPACT
January 21st, 2006
Impact Zone

In the back, DW is in the carpark waiting for the arrival of Sting for his first time ever on Impact.

Tonight; Sting speaks. That's all we're getting for tonight, and hey i love it.

Match#1 Sonjay Dutt & Chris Sabin vs The Diamonds in the Rough w/Simon Diamond
TNA is now outright calling them by the stable name, so i shall respect the change. I will always do so unless you're Disco Inferno and in no way deserving of any form of respect. Fun as heck sub 3 minute sprint with everyone getting some cool stuff in and the like, and it's good enough stuff. DIR get a short little control seg on Sonjay and beat his brains in before Sabin has a sweet hot tag before it breaks down. Sabin hits a stunning delayed dropkick on Skipper, and Sonjay beats DY with the Hindu-Press.
**

In the back, Shane is with AJ Styles. Shane says he's facing Joe for the title at Against All Odds!!!!!! But first he's facing that creepy little punk thief Shannon Moore in a street fight, after AJ demanded it. Styles says Moore thinks he's getting to the top at his expense. by stealing his award, but the fans voted for him and he's getting that award back. Christopher Daniels walks on with his head bandaged and asks why the moment he was no longer #1 contender was the moment AJ threw in the towel for him, and now he's the #1 contender. Little convenient wasn't it? AJ says that was a hard decision, and Daniels rightly cuts him off and says it wasn't his to make. He watched Joe walk around for months with HIS blood stained on a towel like a trophy, and it's over because AJ says so. How he would like to lose a match because of someone else's decision. AJ says he knows him and knew he wouldn't quit because he knows him, and it's not in their makeup. Sometimes the heart is too big to do the right thing, so he had to make it for him. He did it for his family and wellbeing. Daniels sarcastically says he's lucky to have a friend like him. Ahhh this is so good.

In the back, Shane is waiting for Sting.

Match#2 Petey Williams, Eric Young & A1 w/Scott D'Amore vs Lance Hoyt, Ron Killings & Shark Boy
Ok, let's get as weird and strange as possible. DW is very sad that Daniels can't see that AJ did the right thing as everyone here loves him. The best. This is some classic fun bullshit as TC bump and stooge like goons and make the heels look awesome. Sharkie bites EY on the ass! Truth is briefly isolated and it's fun thanks to Petey's continued improvements with focused offence and cool stuff, and EY rocks as always. Hoyt has a good hot tag pinballing everyone around before it all breaks down. Petey gets Sharkie alone and beats him with the CD.
**

They air a video on Jackie Gayda's rampage.

Match#3 The James Gang vs Buck Quartermain & Kenny King
Short awful squash for these old dweebs. One and Only ends it.
Poop

On the screen, LAX show up and talk some mad shit about them turning Ron on him, and he wants a match against them at AAO.

In the back, Larry announces Sting has been delayed and will be here next week. Fuck off. Larry also says Jeff's challenger will be announced next week. Monty walks on and asks if he's having problems with his new flavour of the month. Monty grabs the contract out of Larry's hands and says he's going to show this to JJ. He walks off as Larry shouts that's not for the public yet. So, why carry it around so anyone can steal it, you dumbass.

Hype for AJ/Moore.

Match#4 AJ Styles vs Shannon Moore (Street Fight)
Daniels joins commentary and says he was still breathing and therefore in the match, AJ is wearing jeans because no one does this gimmick better than him. He throws this little freak around to start and beats the shit out of him, and Mike says he's never seen AJ like this. I have no words. They fight on the outside and have a fun brawl, and while he's not amazing or anything, Moore looks good on offence when he suplexes AJ over the rail and fights him on the balcony with some sweet forearms. AJ LIFTS HIM UP AND THROWS HIM DOWN TO THE FLOOR AND DIVES OFF ONTO HIM. FUCK YEAH. Shelley walks out and starts to film, and DW puts together he's been filming X-Division wrestlers. They fight back into the ring and have a fight over a chair and both men take some nasty bumps on it. Joe walks out on the stage to watch as well. AJ puts the chair on Moore's head and smashes him into the post, but he hurts his knee and can't put weight on it as a result. Moore fights back and targets it, and AJ has to fight like hell to not get killed. AJ spots Joe and is distracted and it lets Moore flip him into a Single Leg Crab. Daniels says he's very cocerned by this and gets up and throws the towel in! The ref doesn't accept it because it's no DQ, i guess? It allows Moore to roll AJ up and steal the win. Wonderful bullshit finish.
**3/4

Post match, AJ and Daniels go nose to nose and yell at each other.

In Larry's office, 3D and Shane are waiting for Larry. He walks in and Bubba gives a great speech about being through it all and never bitching and moaning and letting their actions speak for themselves, but TC have to pay for this and they want them. Larry brings up them deserving a rematch after being screwed, so next week they have to choose which team they want to face more right now, and he'll try and make it happen. Really cool way to go about this. Kudos TNA.

In the ring, Christian says he's sorry Sting couldn't here as he was watching a movie about the life story about JJ and Monty. He thinks it was called Brokeback Mountain.. He says Sting will be here next week with a life changing announcement. JJ shows up now and calls Sting a liar and says the fans are dumb for thinking he'll be here next week. He brings up the title match at AAO and says he's afraid of no man and will face anyone. Hell, they can bring in Christian's buddy Chris Jericho and he can beat him. They could make Cage the #1 contender and he can send him back to midcard status. FUCK OFF. They fight and it rules again, but Monty attacks him from behind like a real jerk. Rhino shows up to save his pal. They both look down at the contract and Rhino goes to pick it up, AND CAGE STANDS ON IT AND THEY GO NOSE TO NOSE. Abyss runs down and attacks Rhino, and Cage fights JJ off to the back. Monty has the ring alone and picks up the contract and smiles.

Awesome episode

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett-3/11/05
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe-11/12/05
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; America's Most Wanted-22/10/05

TNA IMPACT
January 28th, 2006
Impact Zone

Tonight; Abyss vs Rhino II. Sting live in the Impact Zone.

Match#1 Jeff Jarrett w/Gail Kim vs Jay Lethal
Hell Yeah. JJ is all fired up as he jumps Jay from the bell and beats the shit out of him on the outside. Best he's looked in months tbh. Jackie walks down with a tape recorder (sup 2006) and tries to get Gail to hear it, but JJ tries to stop her. Gail gets mad and follows after Jackie. The distraction lets Jay go on a sick run of offence with dropkicks and heabutts and get a super close near fall! Jarrett cuts him off and hits the Stroke to win.
**1/2

Post match, Christian makes his way out with a mic. He says he's not here for comedy or jokes, just a promise for this little bitch. At Against All Odds he's facing him for the world title, and he's going to save TNA from him and fulfil his destiny because that's how he rolls.

Match#2 Team 3D vs Kenny King & Buck Quatermain
D-Von has eaten so many roids he's now got the gut and gyno nips. Another fine little squash from the old men as they hit them super hard and drop them on their skulls a few times. 3D ends it.
*3/4

Post match, Bubba thanks the fans for voting them the tag team of 2005 as it shows the respect they have for them. He talks about choosing between AMW & TC, and says he's going to let the fans vote for who they face. Either they get to kick AMW's ass, or send the Canadians back to where they belong.

TNA airs an amazing pre-tape for Joe/AJ/Daniels and all the amazing stuff that has gone down in the last few weeks. Larry comes on and announces it will be a TRIPLE THREAT AT AAO. Fuck yeah.

In the back, Jerry Lynn and GenNext are having words as Shane comes over to find out what's happening. Aries says they got two victories after he told them to, so Jerry says they cheated and they drive him nuts. Bentley walks over and gives them some advice to stop begging for a chance and do something about it instead. He thinks they can't even sweep the ring. What a fucking nerd. Matt then turns to Lynn and says the fans love him and he wants to know when he gets his chance. Lynn tells him to look at the lineup because his chance is coming up right now. Shelley sticks his camera in Shane's face and asks if anyone told him he has a perfect face for radio. Got Em'

Samoa Joe is Bentley's challenger. Woooo kill him dead.

Match#3 Samoa Joe vs Matt Bentley w/Traci
The fans chant "JOE'S GOING TO KILL YOU" to make this even cooler.Joe mauls him from the start with the knees and gross strikes, and this doofus has no answer for anything because of course he doesn't. Hebner is the crowd and Mike calls him a TNA management consultant. GenNext come out to watch and laugh as Joe keeps murdering. Matt gets some offence in and it's whatever. but Joe sells it really well to make him look good. Joe drops him with a running knee and wins with the Choke.
**1/4

Recap of the Abyss/Rhino feud.

Match#4 Rhino vs Abyss w/James Mitchell
They go right to it again with big punches and the like and it's another fun monster fight as they hit hard and go at full speed. Abyss moves ahead and pounds on Rhino's head in a fun little control seg. Very basic but perfect for a monster dude slowly killing someone. Rhino tries to comeback but he gets tossed to the floor and splats as he lands. Abyss kills him with chair shots to the back and arm and hits his elbow by accident and Rhino is hurt. They brawl near the stage and find some plunder to brain each other, and it's my jam as you all know. RHINO GORES HIM THROUGH A FUCKING WALL OF METAL AND BOTH DUDES ARE DEAD, SO THE REF FINALLY CALLS IT.
**3/4

EMT'S and refs run out to check on them. Fantastic stuff.

In the ring, Tenay talks about how special and magical Sting's return was a few weeks ago, and he brings him out on TV for the first time in 5 years. (it does strike me that TNA is ignoring his 2003 run, which is weird tbh) he comes out with a terrible rap theme that not for him at all, but fuck it he's Sting and the coolest man ever. He gets the mic and drops the WOOO and shouts he's in the house. He talks about the final match with Flair and how his career went before his very own eyes from the start in the 80's to repealing from the stage and the helicopter. He says it was bogus he never got to say goodbye to the fans the way he wanted, and he kept hearing fans say it for 5 years. He missed all of this, and then TNA called him about coming in. He saw all the future world champions on TV, and he said this is his brand. He couldn't refuse the offer and he took it and wrestled his first match in 5 years (yep, we're ignoring it) He heard the fans chant he still got it and it made his veins pop and nothing compared to that night. One thing was missing 5 years was he couldn't say goodbye the way he wanted to, and Final Resolution was just that for him. He thanks the fans, TNA and Dixie Carter! He doesn't want that moment to be tainted by anything, so he's saying goodbye and thank you. He says he loves the fans and thanks for the memories, but he's saying goodbye. He drops his bat in the middle of the ring and walks out. AJ, Sabin and Sonjay meet him on stage and shake his hand and thank him. Christian walks out and says he's still got it, but Sting simply hugs him and says he loves him like a brother and walks down the ramp.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett-3/11/05
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe-11/12/05
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; America's Most Wanted-22/10/05

TNA IMPACT
January 4th, 2006
Impact Zone

In the ring, Team 3D are standing by, and Bubba is now wearing a beanie as his transformation into the laziest and worst dressed wrestler is complete. He covers the fan vote again and says the fans have chosen Team Canada. Thank you TNA fans from saving us from that dreaded title run for a little while longer. They will be wrestling them at AAO, and leads the fans in the USA chant. Goddamn it.

Recap of Sting's retirement.

Tonight; Footage from the JJ/Cage press conference. I didn't know they had one, you fools.

Match#1 Rhino vs Kenny King
Don't like Rhino wrestling after last week's angle as he should be dead, but TNA is going to TNA no matter what. Good little squash though as he hitting hard and beating this little snot up, but yeah very upsetting. Gore ends it.
*1/4

In the back, Terry is interviewing Larry. Larry is very upset that Sting has quit on them when he has so much going on at the moment with AAO being next weekend. Aries and Strong walk on the scene and say they have gotten the victories he said they needed, and now they're amazingly dressed and look like stars. The Nats now walk on and say they've been on the sidelines while these punks are on TV, and they want to know what he's going to do about it. Larry announces a tag tournament over the next two weeks with the winners facing AMW at AAO. TNA actually building the tag division is sooooo needed and welcomed.

Match#2 AJ Styles. vs Jay Lethal.
Fuck yeah. TNA just throwing out the coolest shit in the world on a whim. Awesome back and forth to start as Jay is game for all of it and meets AJ at every turn, and we get a great little fight as a result, AJ HITS A FUCKING SUPLEX ON THE APRON TO KILL HIM DEAD. Joe walks out with two towels as DW says you know who the second is called AJ Styles. AJ goes for the kill, but Jay fights back like last week and has another sick run of offence showing off how good he is, and AJ bumps his ass for him. AJ cuts him off and gets a double underhook to muscle him up and drags him into the Styles Clash to win as he stares down Joe the entire time.
**1/2

Post match, Joe keeps looking at him as AJ helps Lethal up and shows him respect.

In the back, Terry is now with Team Canada. D'Amore says the fans don't realise what they've just done to 3D as they're going to take them out for good. Petey & A1 are about to get a title shot. Gail walks on and says she heard the tape and her name was mentioned along with D'Amore, Raven and Larry, and now they're all going to lose their jobs. D'Amore calms her down and says he friends with the world champ for a reason and he's going to settle this. Petey stops him and says Bobby has a match tonight. Scott stops him and says if he can't fix this, none of them will be wrestling again.

Tag Tournament Brackets;
Team Canada vs Sabin & Sonjay.
Naturals vs Aries & Strong.

A nice change of pace to get some new blood in there.

Match#3 Petey Williams & A1 vs Sonjay Dutt & Chris Sabin (Semifinals)
Sonjay has a flurry to start and looks even better than has and matches up really well with Petey. A1 trips him and the boys go to work with an ok control seg as A1 is trash and does of it, so Sonjay can only do so much to help. Sabin has a fun hot tag going nuts on them and fights Petey as always and it's a great back and forth. They go at it and Sabin beats him with the Cradle Shock.
**14

Footage from the Aussie tour airs.

In the back, Terry finds AJ in his locker room. Daniels walks in and AJ throws a towel on him and tells him not get hot. They argue about it again, and Daniels bitchslaps him and they have a pull apart!!

Match#4 Homicide & Apollo & Konnan vs Bruce Steele, Frankie Capone & Rod Steele
Turns out i'm full of shit as this turd is still here for a week or so. 90 seconds of Homicide getting to be awesome while his terrible partners stink it up. Ci wins with a Steiner Bulldog off Apollo's shoulders.
1/2*

Post match, they beat the jobbers up with the slapjack until James Gang run down and fight them off.

We go to the press conference. Dory Funk is there as the NWA rep and says Cage can take the title from Jeff. Cage says he loves TNA and will take the title in the biggest match of his career. JJ brings up all his victims over the last year, and he beat Hogan before he could get a chance. They move onto Sting and both men seem angry and upset that he's gone after the PPV. JJ refuses to talk about Jackie, and then Monty walks on and says he coming for his rightful title shot. The presser ends with Cage and JJ throwing water at each other and being pulled apart.

Before the main event, D'Amore & Gail walk out and whisper something to Shelley and he walks off with them. OH MY GOD IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING.

Match#5 Austin Aries & Roderick Strong vs The Naturals (Semifinals)
Aries is wearing zebra print tights in a sick choice to show he's got the dress sense Larry wants. Fun back and forth to start at the Nats step up and meet the boys at every turn, and look really good for the first time in a while as they take the fight to them. Andy gets isolated and we get another killer GenNext control seg as they break everything out and look amazing as hell. Shame it's all over because of a snowstorm in a week. Aries does his pendulum elbow as DW says he loves that pendulum thing he does. Best ever. Chase has a very good hot tag before it all breaks down. Roddy trips Andy and drags him out of the ring as Aries rolls Chase up with the ropes to steal it.
**3/4

In the back, Planet Jarrett and Shelley are in the carpark. JJ says Jackie is his last problem as he got rid of Sting last week. EY tries to speak, so D'Amore yells at him to be quiet. He has given Alex her address, number and where she shops and he needs to get the job down for all of them and get dirt on her. He tells him if he doesn't do it, to not come back. Alex tells him not to worry about it as he drives off his in bright red VW bug. D'Amore is asked if this is going to work, and he says he thinks so. JJ yells at him and it turns into a big screaming match between everyone as they walk off. EY is left alone and grabs the camera and says he knows Sting is not gone and that makes him very nervous. AMAZING

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett-3/11/05
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe-11/12/05
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; America's Most Wanted-22/10/05

TNA IMPACT
February 11th, 2006
Impact Zone

Tonight; Abyss/Monty vs Truth/Rhino. Finals of the Tag Tournament.

Match#1 Roderick Strong & Austin Aries vs Chris Sabin & Sonjay Dutt (Finals)
Larry Z joins commentary to reunite with old Thunder buddy. This is ten minutes as TNA gets how to open the show with the best match possible. Wonderful mat work to start between Sabin and Aries as they're insane at this, and it's wild to me they never got a proper singles match because holy shit it would be perfect. Roddy and Sonjay rock as well, and it's just a perfect storm of a match. Larry is a massive dick on commentary, so DW lays into him about all the horrible things he's done as of late. After a long babyface shine, Sabin is isolated by Rod-Dog, and the fells do their thing one last time and beat his face in with chops and crazy offence. Larry doesn't know about Shelley's secret mission, which implies he doesn't watch the show. Sonjay has a sweet hot tag going nuts once more with ranas and cool stuff galore, and the heels die for him. He and Sabin hit some cool double teams and really own these two, and i wish they were together longer. Finishing run is good as hell, and Sabin beats Aries with the Cradle Shock.
***

Tenay runs down the AAO card and announces Rhino vs Abyss in Falls Count Anywhere.

Hype video for Christian Cage being awesome and whatnot because that's how he rolls.

In the back, we get a shot of a closed door where he learn Christian is speaking to TNA management.

In the back, Cassidy Riley is sad he hasn't heard from Raven. Jackie walks on and says Raven just needs to hold tight as Jeff is getting what's coming to him. She's now giving Jeff 7 days to meet her list of demands or else they're all going down. D'Amore walks on and says they'll meet her demands but they need a little bit more time. She says 7 days is all he gets as she leaves. Shelley walks into frame and presents Scott a tape and says he got it. She's one kinky dame.

Match#2 Team 3D vs The Diamonds in the Rough w/Simon Diamond
A minute of a fight before AMW show up and the match sort of ends.
Poop

On the ramp, Harris says it sucks they couldn't fulfil their promise of winning the titles, but the fans saved them from another AMW beating. D-Von says they'll have their day in court and they will execute them, Bubba tries to say they drink non alcoholic beer and dress like Brooks Brothers, and says after they're done with TC, they're coming for them and the titles. TC attack from behind, but 3D easily fight them off, and the Diamonds when they try to help. 3D set up a table, but the numbers finally get the best of them and they get the shit kicked out of them for being the goddamn worst. EY breaks the plaque over D-Von's head, and then Roode and EY flapjack Bubba through a table. Roode rubs the plaque over D-Von's bloody skull, and then the boys sing the anthem over them. Awesome angle for a match i really don't want to see.

Match#3 Samoa Joe vs Jay Lethal & Chasyn Rance
Joe murders Jay and noted scumfuck cunt bag Rance in epic fashion. He murders Jay with nasty strikes and the like, and then slaps the fuck out of the prick and beats the tar out of him and wins with the Combo.
*3/4

At ringside, DW asks you to buy some DVD's.

Hype for JJ/Cage.

Match#4 Abyss & Monty Brown w/James Mitchell vs Rhino & Ron Killings
Random parings right here, but it's nice to see Truth free of trash and getting to rule again. He has a sick dive onto the heels and beats the crap out of them, and it's good for the soul. He gets isolated in the correct choice because he's going to make you care about his life unlike Rhino. Good control seg from the monsters as it's your basic beating, and it's simple and affective murder of Truth. Rhino has an ok hot tag before he and Abyss fight off into the crowd in a preview for the PPV. Konnan walks down and tries to hand Truth the blackjack, but it distracts him and lets Monty to hit the Pounce to win.
**

Post match, Konnan stands over Truth and talks shit to him.

In the back, Cage leaves the room on his phone. He says the referee situation has been sorted, Stinger. He knows when he retired he was passing the torch to him, and he's going to win the NWA title for them both. Hmmmmm, i wonder.

Music video closes us out.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett-3/11/05
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe-11/12/05
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; America's Most Wanted-22/10/05

TNA AGAINST ALL ODDS
FEBRUARY 12TH, 2006
THE IMPACT ZONE​

Christian arrives in the carpark in a sweet Porsche.

In the back, EY keeps trying to tell D'Amore they shouldn't have done this, but Scott refuses to listen. JJ arrives and is all giddy and happy, and EY finally tells him Sting isn't gone. JJ makes him say that Sting is gone and he needs to keep repeating it. JJ walks off for one last meeting. D'Amore yells at EY to get his head into the game.

Due to a snowstorm in the northeast, TNA ordered its talent to fly to Orlando prior to their pay-per-view event the next night; as a result, Alex Shelley, Christopher Daniels, Samoa Joe, and Homicide missed this show; ROH Tag Team Champions Austin Aries & Roderick Strong stayed and received a three month suspension from TNA as a result:

So, there you have it as a result of the storm, ROH will slowly phase Shelley and Jay out, while TNA will suspend Aries and Roddy and cause them to walk out in a few months and ruin the NextGen plans. TNA will then get its revenge when it bans all contracted stars from appearing in ROH in 07. So, it's a massive mess that could have been avoided if not for Mother Nature being a dick.

Match#1 The Naturals vs Austin Aries & Roderick Strong
Despite all of that, this rocks a ton. 10 minutes of classic tag wrestling and a sign TNA should have let cooler heads prevail and not done what they did. Opening flurry is great as always, and the Nats are working as hard as possible after months of being absent off TV. Nats beat the shit out of Aries and his stupid face, and it's a blast and a half. Chase hit a sweet SSP onto them to the outside, and it's wild as heck. Aries finally catches Chase with the Missile Tope right into the fucking camera and beats the shit out of him to isolate him. Awesome control seg for the last time as they wreak and kill him, and it's just the coolest stuff possible. Chase's selling rules and his comeback is great before he tags in Andy. fun hot tag from him before the finishing run hits and everyone goes crazy. Awesome double teams from the heels as they get super close to ending it as the fuck them up time and time again, but the other Nat keeps saving. Strong gets dumped to the floor and Aries is nearly beat by the ND, bur he tries the same finish as the last match, but the ref sees it. The Nats keep their cool and beat him with the ND. Fuck yeah.
***

In the back, Larry announces there will no outside interference or weapons in the main event as the best man will win.

In the back, AMW are ready to put the titles on the line against the new sensation, but they haven't gone through them yet and this ends tonight. D'Amore makes Gail say sorry to him for doubting he could get it done. He tells Jackie to show up next week so she can see the tables being turned. Larry walks on and tells them if they get involved they will be fired on the spot, and he's not taking the fall for any of them. That's the law.

Match#2 Alex Shelley vs Petey Willams vs Jay Lethal vs Matt Bentley w/Traci
Super fun 10 minute showcase for the division as everyone bar Matt is a different degree of good or awesome, and they work so well together. DW is a big fan of Traci and says the fans don't bounce for Matt, which is amazing accidental fuck you. Shelley and Lethal fight and it's perfect as always with smooth offence and killer mat work throughout. Petey gets in on the action and beats Jay up as he's a great punching bag and a really easy dude to root for. It all turns crazy and everyone gets their shit in with a ton of bombs and close calls. Jay and Shelley are the standouts as they can do nuts and do everything smooth on top of it. Jackie comes down and slaps Shelley for everything, but like we haven't seen the tape so maybe he's doing the world a favour. BACK IN THE RING, MATT FIGHTS OUT OF THE CD AND BACKDROPS PETEY, AND JAY COMES OUT OF NOWHERE AND ROLLS PETEY UP TO GET THE WIN. FUCK YEAH.
**3/4

In the back, JB interviews Rhino about his match. Rhino says no one knows what he's about as he from the wrong side of the track in the 8 Mile. He fears nothing because he's came close to death every day. He's going stuff his fist down Abyss mouth and then shove Mitchell's head up Abyss' ass. Larry walks on and tells Rhino he can't get involved either. Rhino tells him to spread the word that Abyss is going to need an ambulance.

Hype for LAX/James Gang.

Apollo has now no shown and is gone for real this time, so LAX brings in Machete to replace him.

Match#3 Homicide & Machete w/Konnan vs The James Gang
Machete is a complete nothing who adds nothing to this and is retired by 2008. Homicide is now fully healed thankfully, and kills these dipshits whenever he gets the chance and it's such a moment in time to see him getting the chance on PPV as he's deserved for the last 4 years. James Gang also deserve something, the chance to be set on fire and buried in a wasteland because they stink. Kip has to eat everyone up with his awful offence, and i hate him so goddamn much. LAX isolate him and work hard to beat him up, but he no sells or sandbags, and makes them look like assholes for the most part. BG's hot tag is ok as he bothers to try and the fellas bump around for him. Kip and CI fight on the outside, and BG beats Machete with the Pump Handle.
*3/4

Konnan runs in and kills BG with the Slapjack to the back of his head. LAX go for the kill, but Bullet Bob returns and somehow slowly walks towards Konnan and scares him off. LOLTNA.

In the back, JB is outside Larry's office. A ref walks over an says there is no ref in the main event, but Larry says we do have one and he's not going to tell anyone. The ref introduces himself as Slick Johnson!!!! Larry says he's a need to know on a basis guy, and he doesn't need to know. Weird segment.

Match#4 America's Most Wanted (c) vs Chris Sabin & Sonjay Dutt (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships)
Sabin hurt his ankle in the finals during a dropkick where his foot bent over, so AMW now have a target to focus on if they can get to it. Sonjay tags in after Sabin is hesitant to fight Harris, so we get him working his ass off again against AMW, and it rules as he fits right as in an underdog fighting some bullies. Sabin gets in and his ankle holds up as he fights them at first, but Harris trips him and drags him against the post and slams his ankle off it and then off the apron, and now he's fucked. Fantastic control seg on it as AMW obliterate him for a while in sick fashion, and Sabin's selling rules a ton as he shows that off on top of everything else. Killer work on the ankle from twisting and turning it, to Storm saying fuck it and jumping down on it with all his weight. Sabin fights like hell to get free, but AMW's cut offs are brutal and as mean as can be and he's stuck there for a hideous amount of time. Sonjay finally gets in and beats the shit out of them with all the fire in the world and he pinballs them all over. Finishing run rocks as Sonjay is fighting alone with Sabin being cooked, and he can only do so much to hang on. Sabin brings in a chair to even it up and they get super close to winning, but Storm drags Sabin out and drops the rails right on top of his ankle. AMW get back in and beat Sonjay with the Death Sentence.
***

Post match, AMW drag a dead Sonjay and handcuff him to the ropes, and declare this ain't over yet. SABIN SAVES AND DROPS HARRIS WITH A CHAIR AND RUNS THEM OFF WITH ONE FOOT. FUCK YEAH.

In the back, JJ and Gail are standing by. Jarrett says he feels no pressure as Cage as the weight of the world on his shoulders and his entire career rests on this night. TNA management will have egg on their face if he doesn't get it done. JJ says Larry can do what he wants tonight as he's got a trust equaliser and Gail, and he's walking out the champion. Monty walks on, AND JARRETT FINALLY CUTS HIM OFF AND MOCKS HIS AWFUL PROMOS AND SAYS HE'S SICK OF HIS CRAP. He's giving him the next shot after he wins and offers his hand, Monty takes it and smiles at him.

Hype for Rhino/Abyss.

Match#5 Rhino vs Abyss w/James Mitchell (Falls Count Anywhere)
Zero time is wasted before they rush each other and fight in the crowd and stop me if you've heard this one before, for the classic Impact Zone brawl. They fight back in the ring with some plunder and it's not lighting the world on fire, but they do at least brain each other very hard and hold nothing back. Abyss buts him open with a nasty trash can shot, and Rhino's head is covered in blood as he's a great bleeder. It brings him back to life as he kills him with weapon shots to the skull, and the hits him in the dick with a baseball bat. They fight up the stage for some more ugly bumps on the ramp and the set itself, and Rhino's selling rocks. They fight in the backstage area near a car and then out to the other side of the Zone to the ring. They have a fight over some tables, and Rhino gets chokeslamed through one but he kicks out. Rhino then gets backs up and Gores him through another one, but Abyss kicks out. Ehhh not a fan of that. They fight on the second level of the Zone and get to a balcony Abyss kicks a wall away dividing the levels and brakes some of the wood over his head. They fight near the edge and Rhino runs all the way back and shoulder blocks him off through some table and Rhino jumps down to pin him. Felt like he was meant to Gore him, but backed off. Weird match.
**

Post match, everyone checks on a now dead Abyss. R.I.P, big man.

In the back, JB is with Samoa Joe. Joe says AJ and Chris have said he has not adhered or respect the code of the X-Division, or shown conduct fit of being the champion or a wrestler in the division. He's come to the realisation that it's never been about conduct or sportsmanship, it's been about one thing, the X-Division championship. To remind these boys, tonight he's bought two towels one as a reminder and one for the trophy case. Chris you aren't fighting for family, and AJ isn't fighting for a friend. Hell, you're not even fighting Against All Odds. TONIGHT IT'S MUCH WORSE, YOU'RE AGAINST ME.

In the Zone, Abyss is still dead and stuff. They help him up as the crowd cheers for him. Might want to go with that sooner rather than later.

Hype for Joe/AJ/Daniels.

Match#6 Samoa Joe (c) vs AJ Styles vs Christopher Daniels
They fight right away as any hesitation is gone and these men want each other dead for past and current sins. AJ goes ham with dropkicks and batters them both showing off his strength by slamming Joe with ease. He feels himself too much and it allows Joe to kill him again and beat the holy hell out of him with the super stiff kicks to the head and chest. Daniels finally gets his hands on both of them and displays a ton of awesome fire and hate. They trade submissions and get more and more pissy when another man breaks it up, so it turns into three way STF/Koji Clutch combo! They finally say fuck it and turn into into a wild amazing sprint with a million cool things, and no one does it better than these 3 men at this point. Joe slaps the fucks out of Daniels to drop him to the outside, and AJ dives over Joe to Daniels with a picture perfect summersault, AND JOE HITS THE RUNNING FOREARM TO KILL THEM BOTH. JESUS CHRIST. Joe gives no shits as he throws them both back in and we get another series of wild as fuck big bombs, including a gross Discus Lariat to Daniels that sends him back into a headdrop backdrop by Joe. Fuck man. Joe is the only one alive and he reigns down hell on Daniels's brain and with a ton of offence to it, and Christopher is slowly killed as his concussion comes back into play. AJ gets back into as we get more cool moves using other dudes as batting practice to hurt the other man. Daniels gets back alive and hits a sweet German to drop Joe on his brain to get some revenge and nails the BME for a close near fall. AJ goes on a wild run of offence on both and hits a million bombs to fuck them both up, and get incredibly close but the other man is able to stop him. DANIELS MUSCLES JOE UP FOR A DVD AND AJ JUMPS OFF THE OTHER SIDE WITH A FOREARM TO THE BACK OF JOE'S SKULL AND DANIELS HITS THE DVD TO SEND HIM ONTO HIS HEAD. Daniels and AJ fight on top and Daniels has AJ's leg, BUT JOE COMES BACK TO LIFE AND KICKS CHRIS IN THE FACE TO KNOCK HIM OFF THE ARPON. HE SLAPS AJ AND HITS THE MUSCLE BUSTER WIN.
***3/4

You can't top a classic, but you can create a sick as hell sequel that's well worth being part of the series.

Hype for 3D/Team Canada

In the back, 3D cut a horrible country vs country feud that can kiss my fat ass.

Match#7 Eric Young & Bobby Roode w/Scott D'Amore vs Team 3D
Bubba is again wearing the awful Impact shirt along with jeans and a cut off shirt that do him no favours as his ever expanding gut is showing. D-Von has somehow done even more roids and swam in a pool of baby oil on top of it. TC bump like crazy for them like the last match and make the Dudz lazy and lame offence look killer. EY is a freak as always, but Roode's growth is more evident here as he's dying on everything and looks like a true future main eventer. D-Von is isolated and it's very good as he's caring and selling it all, and TC are awesome as always. They bust him open again and work the cut, and Bobby is really good at it as he not only kills him, but adds some shit talk to it. Fuck it, we stan Robert Roode in this family. Bubba's hot tag is bad, but once more the bumping and selling saves his fat ass. Fucking sandbag the idiot, please. Finishing run is whatever, and of course 3D win because fuck anyone ever beating them for that rub that is slowly dying before our eyes. EY eats the 3D.
**1/4

Post match, AMW jump these carpetbaggers and kick the shit out of them. YEAH KILL THEM. Sadly, Truth runs down and makes the save. He puts EY through a table with a legdrop.

DESTINATION X-MARCH 12

In the back, Christian Cage says he's nervous as hell as this is everything he's dreamt of from the first time he sat on a couch and watched wrestling. From the first time he went to a show, to the first time he wrestled, this is what he dreamt of. All the questions will be answered to find out if coming here was a smart idea. To give up the money in the WWE to come here and fight from the title he dreams of. He and Jeff have something in common, cheating, backstabbing a little politics here and there. The biggest difference is at least he's honest about it. You know in the depths of your soul he's the biggest threat ever to his title. Tonight he walks in the challenger and after the dust has settled, he will have fulfilled his destiny as the new NWA worlds champion because that's how he rolls.

Hype for JJ/Cage.

Earl Hebner makes his debut as the referee for the match as TNA can't help but do some bullshit, and boy are we in for some bullshit with this idiot.

Match#8 Jeff Jarrett (c) w/Gail Kim vs Christian Cage (NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Championship)
JJ wrestles to start. What in the world????? Really cool back and forth with the basics being turned all the way up because these are two of the most solid pro wrestlers to ever live, and this is their bread and butter. Cage misses a dive off the top and crashes and burns on the rail to hurt his ribs, and Jeff goes after them when he steals Joe's rail swing to send Cage into them again, and then fights him on the outside. He throws his wicked punches and kills his ribs some more, and it's really good stuff. Christian's selling isn't very good at all sadly, as he never really bothers to show any sign he's hurt. However, Jeff's work is all basic and mean, and it's all it needs to be to his credit, so at least one person is going the right way about this. Gail gets involved behind Hebner's back, but like Larry is watching and should fire her. Jeff locks in the Sharpshooter so we get a rehash of that with Tenay begging Hebner not to do it. Thankfully it doesn't lead anywhere, but man we don't need to even touch that. Cage fights back and unloads more good offence on JJ, but he doesn't sell a damn thing on those ribs, which is really upsetting, Hebner is bumped and we get some bullshit as Cage kicks out of the Super Stroke because Hebner takes too long to get over and count. Hebner is bumped again by Cage being thrown into him. Goddamn it, stop it. Slick Johnson runs in to be the ref now, and he calls it down the middle and goes to DQ JJ after he kicks CC in the balls, so JJ attacks him and throws him out. JJ kills Christian with the guitar, but baw gawd he kicks out of it. Cage gets back up because selling is lame, and he powerbombs Gail to get rid of her. He fights out of the Stroke and nails the Unprettier to win the title.
*3/4

Awful match, but at least we've ended the second to last Jarrett reign.

Post match, Rhino and a bunch of fans get in the ring and celebrate with Christian to close the show.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Christian Cage-12/2/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe-11/12/05
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; America's Most Wanted-22/10/05

Best champions list in a while.

TNA IMPACT
February 18th, 2006
Impact Zone

TONIGHT THE NEW ERA OF TNA ON SPIKE TV BEGINS.

NEW Worlds Champion Christian Cage makes his way out to a huge pop. Despite me hating the match, this is such a wonderful moment to see him holding the world title after being screwed over by WWE when he was white hot. A real and proper fuck you to his doubters. He holds the world title up as he's been waiting 12 years to do it, and then he dedicates this to anyone whose been doubted and told they aren't good enough. He was told time and time again, he wasn't big enough, talented enough and that he didn't have IT. He says IT means an actual opportunity and he got his made the most out of it at AAO. He lists off some famous NWA champs and talks about the history and whatnot before moving on to Monty Brown. He says he's facing him at Destination X and he will be facing IT because that's how he rolls. Fine little segment.

In the back, JJ, D'Amore, EY and Gail are with JB. Jeff says he got screwed on Sunday but he's turning this into a positive as he's got his battle plans ready and can't be knocked down. At DX there will be an 8 man tag where he will eliminate 4 of his problems there. He knows he can do this because he got rid of an Icon after one match with him, but EY says he's not gone. JJ yells at him to shut up and never say that again. D'Amore brings out the tape and gives it to Jeff. Jeff says they're having a viewing party tonight and she's going to answer HIS demands this time if she shows up.

Match#1 Shannon Moore vs Roderick Strong vs Jay Lethal (Winner joins Team TNA for the World X Cup)
Mike says the X cup is coming back later this year, which sounds way cooler than the last time they tried it. Fun little 3 minute sprint of Roddy and Jay looking amazing as hell, and Moore being a little shithead thief trying to steal wins. Jay kills Rod Dog with a gross rana to the floor, and then Moore hits an ugly moonsault that sends his knees right into Jay's head. They have a short but wild finishing run, and Jay catches Roddy with a sick Full Nelson Suplex to win the spot. Hell Yeah.
**1/2

At ringside, DW hypes the hell out of Jay being a future star!! He then throws it to a hype video for Ron Killings.

Said video airs and it's a cool history video of his days in the music world where he met Tupac to getting arrested and then becoming a wrestler.

In the back, James Gang are back together. BG says two good men can never be put down, and his daddy walks on and offers himself as their 3rd man to fight LAX. lmaooooooooo. BG wants know part of this, but Bullet says he doesn't care how old he is, he's fighting them and is going to make the match right now.

Match#2 Homicide, Konnan & Machate vs Border Patrol (Donovan Morgan, Mike Modest & Ryan Drago )
AMAZING. LAX beat the shit out of the INS who we assume are trying to deport them, which is very funny and also sad. Drago is a young Simon Gotch for those keeping score at home. Ci looks incredible again now that his shoulder is healed, and it's so much fun seeing him back. Ci and Machete kill Drago with the Bulldog to win.
*3/4

Post match, they kill them with Slapjack shots to the skull. Konnan gets the mic and says he's not scared of Bob Armstrong. He knows for a fact he doesn't have a wrestling license right now, so he can try and get one and fight him at DX, and he can send his ass right back to hospital.

In the back, Larry and Joe are standing by with JB. Larry praises him and says TNA is incredibly proud of him and his 8 month win streak, but says he's never been in the match that represents the division like no other, Ultimate X. So it will be him vs AJ vs Daniels in it at DX!!!. Joe is pissed and says he didn't think he was the type of person to make a mistake. When he got here, TNA made the mistake of not realising what he would do once he got here. The X-Division boys made the same mistake thinking he would play nice with them. He hates to think he would underestimate what he would be willing to do to keep the title at DX. Now Larry if this is a way of testing him, when he stunts like this get pulled on him, well, they call Larry a Living Legend. He might just be called Legend soon enough OH SHIT. He walks out of the room and slams the door as he leaves.

Match#3 Christopher Daniels vs Austin Aries
I guess TNA's other form of punishment is to make Aries and Strong eat losses before they go away for 3 months, and i am not upset we get this again. So of course it's 90 seconds of awesome wrestling before Daniels locks in the Choke to send a message, and Joe runs out and fights him for it, and the ref calls it.
*

They have another awesome fight and Daniels drops him with a kick and hits the BME, but Joe gets the title up and Daniels lands on it! Joe gets back up lays waste to him with a series of nasty strikes ,and grabs the chair again. He goes for the muscle buster, BUT AJ RUNS DOWN AND KILLS HIM WITH A CHAIR SHOT TO THE BACK AND THEN ONE RIGHT TO THE SKULL TO DROP HIM AND KNOCK HIM OUT OF THE RING. FUCK YEAH AJ. AJ walks over to Daniels and says that wasn't for him. Best feud ever.

Hype for UX.

In the back, Truth and 3D do the Wazzup thing and they thank each other for the help on Sunday, and say lets go get them

In the back, Planet Jarrett are getting ready for the viewing party. Jeff thanks Alex for making it, and Shelley points out the "Paparazzi Productions" logo at the start of the tape and says he made that in art school. AMAZING.

Sadly, Jackie walks on before we can see it and says he won and she wants the tape and will leave. Jeff says he's man of his word and she can be with them as she wanted, That tape might end up on the internet if she doesn't do what he wants and join them, Jackie is very mad as Jeff says he's her boss and she's going to do whatever he wants, and she's not quitting like Sting did. EY speaks up, so JJ yells at him again and calls him an idiot. D'Amore breaks it up and says not to touch one of his men, and he slaps EY. Jeff grabs EY and tells Shelley to take him with him as his second job is proving Sting has quit and he needs to film his personal life and show the footage he's a quitter. Jeff leaves to take them to the airport as Gail and D'Amore taunt Jackie.

Match#4 Bobby Roode, Petey Willams & A1 vs Ron Killings & Team 3D
Bubba is again in the Impact shirt, and my god i hate him so much. TC bump around big for these old jerkoffs, and it's fine as always, but i don't want months of this. Truth is isolated which is very fun, and far better than what it could have been. Tenay announces AMW vs Truth and Rhino for the tag titles next week! Really good control on Truth as Petey and Bobby lead the charge kicking his ass, and Truth's selling and attempted comebacks are class. D-Von's hot tag sucks a bag of sucks. Finishing run is good thanks to TC and Truth doing the work and making it not suck. Truth gets A1 alone and beats him with the Axe Kick.
**

Post match, AMW run in and attack Truth and cuff him to the ropes. Rhino makes the save and Gores Harris.

In the back, JB tries to talk to Monty, but he keeps walking and says he's going to show them how to hunt as he enters Cage's locker-room to close the show.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Christian Cage-12/2/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe-11/12/05
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; America's Most Wanted-22/10/05

TNA IMPACT
February 25th, 2006
Impact Zone

Tonight; AMW vs Rhino/Truth for the tag titles.

Match#1 Monty Brown vs Dylan Knight
Fine little Monty squash as always. Sucks we're wasting another shot on this idiot, but he's thankfully gone by Hard Justice, so whatever. Pounce does it.
*

Monty gets on the mic and says he didn't coming looking for Knight, he came looking for the champion. He must have been in the wrong locker room last wee because he's was in the men's one and Cage was nowhere to be found. Monty makes some gay jokes about Cage being a model who likes to kiss men, and hey it's lame and not cool at all. He demands he bring the title out to him or he's brining the jungle to him. Christian shows up and says there is no glass celling in TNA and he's giving everyone a shot. He gets in and asks him what the capital of Thailand is? BANGKOK AND HE HITS HIM IN THE DICK AND FIGHTS HIM. GOD BLESS. They have a big brawl that gets broken up by blackshirts and refs.

In the back, JB is with AMW and Gail. He talks about them being in the 8 man at DX, but we still don't know the full teams, or what they're fighting for. Harris says you take the best when you go to war and they'll do that with Abyss and Jeff on their side. Ron and Rhino are about to get a little preview of that match. 3D pay attention tonight because at DX, they're getting handed a death sentence. Sorry, bout your damn luck. Shelley and JJ walk on and have the footage of Sting! Jeff says they're having another viewing party and he wants Gail to bring Jackie with her and make sure she's appropriately dressed.

Match#2 AJ Styles vs Roderick Strong
Daniels is on the call tonight. AJ beats the crap out of Rod Dog in a sick angry beating where he drops him on his skull, and just batters him. Daniels says he's been in two UX matches, so DW says AJ has been in three, and Daniels is not pleased but acts like it doesn't matter. Rod gets a sweet run of offence and breaks AJ's back as only he can, and Styles dies on everything. AJ fights back and reigns down hell on Rod Dog and beats him with a sick powerbomb and a deadlift into the Clash.
**3/4

In the back, Gail gives Jackie her outfit and she's not happy.

Match#3 Bobby Roode & A1 w/Scott D'Amore vs The James Gang.
Son of a fucking bitch, don't do this me again. Roode works his ass off from the get go and takes out Kip's stupid knee, and we get some really good work on it. The best part though? Kip sells it and gives a shit. Amazing. BG has a nice little tag with the great punches and some fire, and it's swell seeing these old fucks care. LAX run out and attack him. Konnan hits him with the Slapjack, and Roode follows up with the Lariat to steal the win.
*1/2

Post match, they hit him again with it right to the face. Old man Bob runs down and beats up Ci and Machete. FUCK OFF. He rips his shirt off and scares Konnan off. LOLTNA

Another cool UX hype video. AJ calls this the ultimate test for Joe. Daniels says there is no way Joe can do this. AJ wonders if the cables can even hold him.

Match#4 Samoa Joe vs Shark Boy
Joe murders the shark in incredible pissed off fashion, and it's another perfect squash for our hero. Combo kills our guy.
**

in the back, Gail taunts Jackie about the video as she makes her get dressed behind a screen.

They air another really good Truth video talking about his life.

Match#5 America's Most Wanted (c) vs Rhino & Ron Killings (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships)
Truth has a sweet run of offence and pinballs the champs around, and it's awesome from both ends. Rhino is a truck and hits hard and smacks them around as well. Harris fights him on the outside in a fin little brawl, but Abyss slowly walks up the ramp as his shadow gets bigger and bigger, and he kills Rhino!!!! HE BLACK HOLE SLAMS HIM THROUGH A FUCKING WALL ON THE SIDE OF THE STAGE. HELL YEAH MAN.. Truth is all alone and fights as best he can, but AMW are too dang good and he's got no chance. He gets killed by a sick Superkick and the DS.
**

Post match, Abyss poses over Rhino's dead body.

In the back, it's time for another viewing party. Shelley says he's going to blown away by this. Jackie walks on wearing a French maids outfit, and JJ makes her clean up for him. We see Sting picking his kids up from school as Shelley mocks him for using a mom-moblie to do it. He follows him to his house and rants about "Mr too good for the phone book" Which implies he looked Sting up in the white pages because he doesn't know his real name!!! They get to the house and Shelley very earnestly says it's a nice pad and he wants something like this when he moves out of his apartment. He tells him to hang the art work up on the fridge and count the gold stars. Later on he watches Mrs Stinger pushing one of the kids on a swing. He sneaks around the house and says they're playing a game of basket ball and he can tell their old man showed them how to play because they aren't good, AND ONE OF THE KIDS SINKS A SHOT LEADING TO SHELLEY SAYING "WELL ASIDE FROM THAT" DEAD. Shelley follows Sting on the highway to him going to the gym and tells him to drink a protein shake as it closes out.

We come back, and Jeff asks EY if he's convinced now that Sting has gone and quit. EY thinks about it for a second and responds no he doesn't. He says he's working out and he's going to get all of them including him. He says not to call him showtime anymore because that's Sting's thing. Jeff turns on Shelley and says this is his fault, and Alex calls bullshit and says he loved it ten minutes ago. Jeff tells him to go back and go to his house and film him saying he's quit. Walk up and ask him if he's done, and Alex very reluctantly agrees and says it's that muppet EY's fault. Everyone bar EY leaves the room and he looks at the camera and says this is the worst idea yet because he's coming back.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Christian Cage-12/2/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe-11/12/05
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; America's Most Wanted-22/10/05

TNA IMPACT
March 4th, 2006
Impact Zone

TONIGHT; AJ STYLES & CHRISTOPHER DANIELS VS SAMOA JOE & SHANNON MOORE.

Match#1 Abyss, America's Most Wanted & Jeff Jarrett w/James Mitchell, Gail Kim & Jackie Gayda vs Buck Quartermain, Cassidy Riley, Norman Smiley & Shark Boy
Jesus, is that enough people at ringside for a 90 second Planet Jarrett showcase? No, it's not as i want another 50 people just for the hell of it. Get wild, TNA. Fun showcase of murder and cool AMW double teams, and you don't need more than that. Abyss hits Norman with the BHS, and then JJ pulls him off the pin and hits the Stoke to win.
*3/4

Post match, Alex Shelley comes out with the tape and tries to talk to Jeff, but Jarrett snatches it from his hands and hugs him as Alex tries to explain something but is ignored as JJ and the Planet celebrate having the proof that Sting's a quitter.

In the back, JB is with Bentley & Traci. JB explains that Matt apparently attacked Lance Hoyt on Xplosion last week. Matt calls himself a maverick that doesn't play by the rules and does as he pleases. Lance was laying flat on his back. JJ and the rest of the Planet walk on and announce another viewing party for later on, and make Jackie get ready for it or else they'll show the tape. Jeff looks for the tape, but it and EY are both gone.

They show the footage of Matt turning on Hoyt. He superkicked him and slammed his head into the steps and hit him with a chair to bust him open. Tenay now calls Bentley "Maverick Matt" and we have a new horrrrrrrible name change. They'll be wrestling at DX.

Match#2 Lance Hoyt vs Kenny King
Fun minute squash for the big man. He's all fired up and kicks the shit out of this dork as he should. The UX structure is setup for some reason as well. Lance wins with a one armed Powerbomb
*

Konnan's voice comes over the mic as the camera finds him near the announce booth. He says they're going to make an example of another member of the Armstrong family member, and this will be nothing compared to what they did to Bob. Homicide and Machete drag BG out and hit him with a Slapjack to the skull!!! Kip sadly makes the saves before they can kill him for good.

TNA promotes the main event by saying "Samoa Joe & Punk" to get everyone's attention because HOLY SHIT JUST IMAGINE.

Truth's new music video "What's Up" plays. It sucks a ton, but good for him nonetheless.

Match#3 Chris Sabin, Sonjay Dutt & Jay Lethal vs Bobby Roode, Eric Young & Petey Willams w/Scott D'Amore
EY HAS THE TAPES DOWN HIS TIGHTS AND POINTS IT OUT AS HE COMES OUT TO THE RING. AMAZING. Tenay hypes this as a preview of the world X-Cup in a cool little thing, and i'm actually really looking forward to this for the first time in a long time. Wonderful little flurry to start with our young heroes fighting these dicks with super speed and cool moves, and it's my jam. Tenay also announces AMW vs Nats for the tag titles next week!! Jay is isolated after a gross German from Petey, and the boys to go work and kick his head in with a fun control seg. JJ walks out and demands the tape back from Eric's pants, and EY refuses to do it. Sonjay has a fun hot tag before it all breaks down and the finishing run hits for a minute or so. D'Amore hits Dutt with the stick, and Petey nails the CD to win.
**1/2

Hype video for Christian Cage.

In the back, JB is with Christian, who calls this place "The Peep Zone". He tries to say more, but Abyss and Mitchell storm on and say he's a thief who leapfrogged Abyss for the world title shot, and that's HIS title. He's got two choices, give him his shot, or CLICK DOOMSDAY. Cage snaps and says he's sick of guys like him and Monty walking around her...Monty jumps him from behind and kicks his ass all over the Zone. He targets his ribs with plunder and punches as they fight up the ramps. Cage fights back and a sick back and forth breaks out as they beat the shit out of each other. MONTY POUNCES HIM OFF THE STAGE AND SENDS HIM RIB FIRST INTO A GUARDRAIL. HELL YEAH, MONTY. Rhino runs out from the other ramp to check on his BFF as Cage holds onto his ribs and screams in pain! Monty steals the title and holds it above his head. Amazing stuff.

It's time for the Viewing Party. Everyone bar Shelley and EY looks super excited for this. Jeff praises him and calls him a superstar. Shelley again tries to talk, but Jeff ignores him and makes him play the tape. We get more footage of Shelley following Sting during his day to day playing with the kids and whatnot, and Alex keeps delaying talking to him. Sting walks with his daughter, and Shelley says that's cute as there are a lot of weirdoes out there. They walk across the road and Shelley makes an Abbey Road joke, and says it's topical and he cracks himself up. Sting plays golf with his son, and Shelley says to teach him that as he can't show him how to wrestle. He then ponders how Sting got so boring. We go to a carpark where Alex says Sting has seen him and he would rather do it on his time. Sting pulls his car in and confronts him and asks why he's doing this. Alex says he was told to, and Sting says to tell Jeff he's out of his mind and this isn't funny as you don't film his family.. Jeff has stepped over the line and he'll be at the next PPV, and Jeff better have eyes in the back of his head because he's coming for him. TELL HIM STING'S NOT COMING TO THE PPV, STEVE BORDEN IS. He gets back into his car and yells Shelley needs to get a life.

We come back to the Viewing Party with the single greatest reaction gif EVER as it's pure silence and just shock.

Jeff screams at Alex that he didn't think that was a valuable piece of information he needed to know, and Alex deadpans "Crossed my mind"

Jeff has now signed his death warrant because he couldn't leave well enough alone and now Steve Borden is going to kill him. Perfection, man.

Match#4 AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels vs Samoa Joe & Shannon Moore
AJ owns Moore to start and it occurs to me that feud just ended, and i didn't even notice. AJ breaks out some cool shit before the super team beat up Joe and show they can get this together when it matters. AJ keeps beating Moore's ass up, and Daniels gets in on the fun and cracks him as well for some fun. Joe slips in a knee to AJ's back to isolate him and finally goes to work kicking his face in. Standard amazing Joe/AJ exchanges as even on TV it's still a blast. Moore fucks things up when he gets in as AJ is able to beat him up and tag in Daniels. Great hot tag as shows off that fire as he beats them both up. AJ hits a stunning running summersault over the top to Joe, and it's soooo pretty. Daniels stays on Moore and has him in the Angels Wings, BUT JOE BLIND TAGS IN AND KILLLLLLLS DANIELS WITH A LARIAT TO KNOCK HIM OUT AND HE GETS THE WIN. Wonderful finish.
**3/4

Post match, AJ steals the title and hooks it up to the cables and dares him to get it, and Joe is pissed as hell. Daniels gets up and dares Joe as well, but he just get angrier and angrier about this entire deal. Truly not sure how i feel about Joe not just running in and killing them as it shows some fear which he's never done, but i also don't hate the idea of him being more pissed than scared and not climbing it as a result.

In the back, Gail and D'Amore walk around a laying down Jeff Jarrett. D'Amore keeps saying they're screwed and asks Jeff if he can hear him. Jeff finally gets up and says he's got an idea, and he has someone's number on speed dial and walks off to call them as D'Amore asks who.

Fantastic episode.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Christian Cage-12/2/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe-11/12/05
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; America's Most Wanted-22/10/05

TNA IMPACT
March 11th, 2006
Impact Zone

TONIGHT; AMW VS THE NATS FOR THE TAG TITLES.

Match#1 America's Most Wanted (c) w/Gail Kim vs The Naturals (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships)
It's cool to see this again after the last time back in October. Slow start this time as the Nats keep their heads and dominate to start in really good fashion, and AMW bump and stooge for them. We come back from break where Storm boots Chase in the face with the toe of his boot to take over, and AMW kick his head in as they only can when it comes to this feud. Shorter on TV, but still brutal and fun as possible. Andy has a super cool hot tag throwing awesome knees and cool punches as he pinballs these assholes around the ring. Finishing run rocks as always with a ton of close calls and cutoffs. The bullshit hits as Gail distracts the ref so Team Canada can run down and attack the Nats. Roode kills Andy with the Lariat, and Chase is handcuffed to the rail. AMW hit the DS to retain.
**34

Amazing Hype video for UX.

In the back, JB is with Larry in the office. Larry says he has banned Monty and Cage from the Zone after last weeks fight. He makes Earl Hebner the ref so nothing bad will go down. Fuck off. D'Amore walks in and yells at him for being terrible at his job and cleaning up his messes???? D'Amore says he's watching him. JB asks Larry what he's talking about, and Larry says he has no idea.

Match#2 Alex Shelley vs Chris Sabin vs Sonjay Dutt (Team TNA Qualifier)
Tenay says the winner will not only join Team TNA, but will wrestle at DX in a showdown match with a member of the other countries in it. Super fun sprint as everyone goes for broke with all the cool stuff they can think of, and it all lands and is my jam and then some. Some killer mat work from Alex and sneaky little dick moments, and the others beat his head in and go crazy with dives and cool double teams on him, so he's forced to do cool shit in return to have a chance. Finishing run rules as they hit cool dives and gross headdrops on each other. Sabin slips in a kick to Shelley's face and beats him with the Cradle Shock.
**3/4

Love Sabin, but that place should have been Alex's.

They air a recap about Sting's last 3 months.

We go to a pre-tape with Jeff Jarrett. He takes credit for making Sting quit, and says they never invaded his privacy as he was on public property. Sting quit on his fans and family, and this is also EY's fault for being an idiot who couldn't shut up. Jeff says he's got some backup in his back pocket and they're coming for the first time ever in TNA. Sting is a legend of wrestling no doubt, but TNA is his and he's bringing all out war to TNA with his team.

In another pre-tape, Sabin and Tenay give Kiss Demon and that baseball guy an X-Division title.

We now go to our first ever FACE TO FACE via satellite between Christian and Monty at their homes. Monty says Christian provoked him and he's on the hunt and that was a mere example. DW says the rumour is Cage's ribs are broken, and Christian confirms they're cracked but he makes zero excuses and he's going to show up and fight with everything he has. Monty says he was born ready for this moment and you're looking at the champ. Christian says he's been written off for years before he got here, and he's going to prove his doubters wrong. Monty says he's a true champion and he conducts himself like one. Cage cuts him off and gives him his props, but says he's not the man because he's here in that spot. Monty is a great wrestler, but he's not him and he's never going to be world champ. They argue to close it out.

Match#3 Team 3D, Rhino & Ron Killings vs Maverick Matt, Shannon Moore & The Diamonds in the Rough w/Simon Diamond & Traci
Bubba is again waring the XXXXXXXL Impact shirt and looks horrendous. Hate him so much. This is a lame showcase as 3D don't care, Rhino isn't killing himself, and Truth can only do so much with these dorks on his side, and the jobbers on the other side. Truth beats DY with the Axe Kick.
1/2*

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Christian Cage-12/2/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe-11/12/05
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; America's Most Wanted-22/10/05

TNA DESINATION X
MARCH 12TH, 2006
THE IMPACT ZONE​

The opening video is a wonderful silent film takeoff filmed in black and white with a cool Opera soundtrack over the top, and it's the best one TNA has made thus far. God Bless.

Match#1 Alex Shelley vs Jay Lethal
TNA kills it again with the opening match being 10 minutes of some young kids showing off how stupidly talented they already are at 20 years young, and how they've still got even more to give as the years go on. Wonderful mat work from Shelley as always, and Jay shocks him by meeting him hold for hold and showing he's got some skills that Alex never saw coming. Jay moves into moves and kills that with a sweet dive through the ropes, and starts beating Shelley's face in as he deserves. Shelley cuts him off with a series of kicks to the face, and his control work is fantastic as it's a mix of the coolest and weirdest mat stuff he can think of, and him just being a shithead creepy bastard. Awesome beating on Jay, who takes a sick beating and shows off his bumping and selling throughout. Jay's comeback rocks as he slowly gets things going and then gets quicker and quicker and starts beating Shelley up. Finishing run ruuuules as they reach breakneck speeds and throw a ton of big bombs on each other and get super close to ending it. They fight near the ropes and Alex is able to get his foot in between to break it, and he boots Jay in the stomach as soon as he's got space and nails the Slice Bread#2 to win. HELL YEAH ALEX WINS ON PPV.
***

In the back, Team Canada are standing by. They make fun of the Nats losing last night and being big babies and whatnot. EY keeps looking at the roof for Sting, so Petey has to keep turning his head to get him to focus on D'Amore. Shelley walks on and tells EY to come with him to find Sting, and they leave together.

Match#2 Lance Hoyt vs Maverick Matt w/Traci
This is the dumbest name change in any review thus far, and i can't think of any off the top of my head that might be worse. It occurs to me this had no build outside of the angle that was the B show, so LOLTNA. Lance throws this nerd around to start and it's nice seeing Matt die because he's the worst. Traci gets involved to help turn the tide, and Maverick Matt in control is horrible as he's throwing really bad and lazy strikes that look awful, and Lance selling for it makes him look like a goof. Finishing run stinks as well as they both suck and can't do any cool drama or moves, so it's just plain bad. We thankfully cut away to follow Shelley and EY in the rafters throwing down fliers looking for Steve Borden. Matt is distracted and walks into a boot to lose.
1/2*

In the back, the babyface team are standing by. Rhino says they'll find out why they call him the War Machine, and Bubba says this is Destination War. Good one, dude. in better news, Team 3D finally have merch and while it's a bad design, they at least look like they care. Truth sings his theme to close it out.

Match#3 Eric Young & Bobby Roode w/A1 & Scott D'Amore vs The Naturals
Guess EY's epic search is over now. TNA built this better than the last match at least. Nats do their thing to start and it's very good once more, and TC are game as always to die for someone. Chase is isolated leading to another cool TC control seg. nothing amazing or anything, just super solid ass pro wrestling for a while. Nothing more, nothing less. Andy has a very good hot tag and then it all breaks down as it tends to happen. They break out a tower of doom because it's 2006 baby. EY jumps off the top with the stick to break it over Andy's head, and TC steal another one. Begging them to find a new bullshit way to win.
**1/4

In the back, Monty says he's taking the hunt to Cage and getting his respect and world title all in one. Cage is the flavour of the month, while he's the flavour forever. Larry walks on and says TNA has promised a level playing field where the best man will win. Monty says he doesn't care about any of that because he's going to level the playing field himself with the Pounce.

Hype for LAX/James Gang.

Match#4 Homicide, Machette & Konnan vs Bob Armstrong & The James Gang
Bob is wearing 36 year old wrestling boots and looks like the oldest man in history. BG has a lame run of offence before the boys jump him and kick his ass. Control on him is only good thanks to Homicide being the best dude in the match and working as hard as he can with these bags of trash. Konnan and Bob finally fight, and my god is it baaaaaaaaaad as hell. An old man throwing some of the worst punches ever beating up an infamously bad wrestler. Back in the ring, Kip beats Machette with the One and Only. Fuck this.
3/4*

In the back, EY and Shelley find themselves in a bathroom and find a bat and bag. EY grabs it and tells Sting to come out of the stall, but AJ walks out instead. EY asks AJ if Sting in there with him, and AJ is flabbergasted at such a question. He asks why two dudes are in together, and smirks at them. EY asks where the bag came from, and AJ says it was in here when he came in. AJ turns to Alex as he leaves and warns him his camera work is going to get him hurt.

Match#5 Petey Willams vs Sonjay Dutt vs Puma vs Chris Sabin
TJP is Puma. I hate him a lot because he's a dweeb, but he's also a great wrestler and the less i see his face, the better i enjoy his work. Also, he's representing Team Japan. Really awesome feeling out for the first 5 minutes or so as everyone gets some shine and brings something new to it. TJP has great mat work on top of cool dives, and gets the most focus which is more than fair when he's doing well. Big dive train breaks out and our hero Sonjay hits a standing moonsault on everyone. They go nuts from there as it turns in a classic spotfest with a million cool bits, and the stuff i can't write about because it's all happening at once. It comes down to Sabin and TJP, and Sabin wins with the Cradle Shock.
***

In the back, JB is with Planet Jarrett. Mitchell says Abyss has agreed to be in this army to keep the outsiders and infidels out of TNA. Tonight those 4 men will feel the power of this weapon and the rest of the Planet when they turn the Zone into a slaughter house. EY walks on and says they're still looking, but Jeff cuts him off and says they aren't looking for him anymore. He's going out to the ring and Sting can find him there if he wants some.

Hype video for the 8 man.

Match#6 Jeff Jarrett, Abyss & America's Most Wanted w/Gail Kim, Jackie & James Mitchell vs Rhino, Ron Killings & Team 3D
Big old brawl happens because of course it does. Goddamn you, Jeff Jarrett. Damn you to hell, you vile son of a bitch. Said brawl is a lot of fun as they take some nasty bumps and punch the hell out of each other super hard. Crowd is white hot as well. which helps matters as well. They go all over the Zone and bash the crap out of each other, and we get some new fancy overhead camera shots of the battle as TNA is upping production now that they're finally making money after 4 years in the red. They fight back to the ring where the faces keep in control until Storm hits 3D with a hockey stick, and D-Von is isolated briefly. Doesn't last long before Rhino gets in and they work a frantic pace again, and i'm here for it as it's better than seeing a Dudley not care. Abyss takes Rhino's head off, and the fellas isolate and kick his head in for a while. All the heels get a turn kicking his butt and it's good times as they bring something different to it, and Rhino sells as best he can. Truth has a sweet hot tag finally getting uncorked with the main stars, and he kills as he always did before 3LK ruined him. The finishing run hits as everyone fights and finishers are hit, and only 3D suck. Jackie helps out the faces for some nonsense, but Gail gets rid of her. AMW try to cuff Truth, but he turns it around and cuffs Harris to the ropes! He fights JJ like it's 2002, and it's great again for 20 seconds. Harris trips Truth, and JJ hits the Stroke to steal it.
**3/4

Post match, JJ storms the booth and grabs a mic and declares Steve Borden a quitter. He does a 10 count to prove he's quit and whatnot, and hey Steve doesn't show up. Guess he's a bitch.

Hype for UX. Same awesome one from Impact.

In the back, JB is with Joe. JB says some are comparing his streak to that of Bill Goldberg's, and Joe immediately snaps and grabs the mic. He says he hasn't slept one night since he title was taken and hung from that Godforsaken structure. He's waited to kick Daniels head in once more, and AJ is on his list as well. As for that comparison, for him "IT'S NOT ABOUT WHO'S NEXT, BUT WHO'S LEFT" SAMOA JOE IS GOD.

Match#7 Samoa Joe (c) vs AJ Styles vs Christopher Daniels (NWA-TNA X-Divison Championship-Ultimate X)
-Daniels and AJ both try to climb, so Joe is forced to wreak them both right away, and keep them grounded.
-AJ and Daniels fight back and work together to kick the big man's ass, and it's the best stuff in the world.
-AJ and Daniels climb and kick each off to the mat.
-AJ goes on a run and takes them both out, including getting back dropped by Joe and landing on top of Daniels.
-JOE HIT A TWISTING PLANCHA OVER THE TOP. JESUS CHRIST.
-He tries to climb, but he can't get across and falls on his ass.
-Daniels now gets on a run and that rules as he's still fired up and beating the crap out of them.
-He and AJ fight on one of the trusses, AND AJ TURNS INTO A SUNSET FLIP AND CRUSHES DANIELS NECK ON THE LANDING.
-Joe is now back up and rips AJ off the X and starts bashing the piss out of both of them with gross kicks.
-He goes for the Ole on Daniels, but AJ jumps off the top with a forearm to take him out.
-JOE AND DANIELS GET INTO A SLAP FIGHT, AND DANIELS DUCKS UNDER AND STARTS SLAPPING THE HELL OUT OF JOE!!!!
-AJ and Daniels work together AND THEY HIT A FUCKING DOUBLE MUSCLE BUSTER AS DW SHOUTS PAYBACKS ARE A BITCH.
-AMAZING
-AJ and Daniels fight again now that Joe is died, and it's killer as always.
-AJ gets clear and gets all the way to the title, but Joe uses a chair to knock him off.
-Daniels kicks the chair into Joe's face to knock him out.
-He climbs the structure and both men can't get up in time and DANIELS PULLS IT DOWN TO WIN IT BACK.
-Out of nowhere finish, but i'm here for some cool twists and turns.
***1/2

Post match, AJ offers his hand and Daniels shakes it. Fuck yeah, Code of Honor. On the outside, Joe snaps and wreaks the steps and is pisssssssssed.

In the back, JB is with Christian Cage. CC says he got his ass kicked, what else is new. He gets his ass kicked all the time, he doesn't care. He makes his living getting his ass kicked, and he tales the best ass kicking in the world and that's why the Peeps love him. Monty needs to bust his ass every night to get respect in the ring. This is the Peep Zone, you silly bitch. He's the pride of the Peep Zone.

Hype for the main event.

Match#8 Christian Cage (c) vs Monty Brown (NWA-TNA Worlds Heavyweight Championship)
Earl is the ref as Larry stated on Impact, and it's just not needed at all and serves to bother me and everyone else because you just know something bad is coming. Cage has his ribs taped and does what he can to keep Monty off of them, but he can't do it forever. Monty throws him over the top and attacks them and they brawl in the crowd. The work is fine but also kinda dull as Monty's been exposed a thousand times by now as a dude who just doesn't have it. Cage does his best to make it fun as he sells his ass off, and helps this big dope out as much as he can. Monty gets the ribs again and batters them with clubbing and chops, and hey it's fine but not the most interesting thing in the world. Cage's selling rocks this go around, and more than makes for his bad selling last month at AAO. Cage mounts a comeback and does really well beating Monty up, while selling the bad ribs throughout. Finishing run is a nice back and forth with Monty showing some more effort to his credit, and Cage rules and holds his hand. Christian hits the Unprettier after he slips out of the Alpha Bomb to retain the title.
**1/2

Post match, Slapnuts makes his way out and says he won the war, proved Sting quit, and now he's getting his title back after he stole it from him. He's going to make him a transitional champion like his brother up North. Fuck off, you turd. Cage stumbles over his promo and says he would give him a shot if he could, but he'll kick his as free of charge right now. They fight until Monty joins in and turns the tide. Abyss and Rhino also fight down the ring, and the entirety of Planet Jarrett join in for a big ass brawl. Cage is killed and cuffed to the ropes, and JJ hits him with a belt and the others join in for some fun, and Shelley films it as well.

STEVE BORDEN COMES OUT FROM THE CROWD AND FIGHTS JJ AND THE REST OF THE PLANET WITH AMAZING LEFTS AND RIGHTS AND BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF THEM, AND IT'S THE COOLEST THING EVER. HE GETS EY ALONE AND WOOS AT HIM TO SCARE HIM OFF!!!!!! HE FINALLY GETS JEFF ALONE AND HITS HIM WITH THE BELT OVER AND OVER, AND JEFF DIES ON EVERY SHOT. HE LOCKS IN THE SCORPION DEATHLOCK. BUT OUT OF NOWHERE, BIG POPPA PUMP SCOTT FUCKING STEINER RUSHES THE RING AND HITS STING IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD AND DROPS HIM. AHHHHHH, HE KILLS HIM WITH A BELLY TO BELLT AND DOES PUSH UPS OVER HIS BODY. HE HITS A T-BONE THIS TIME, AND THE REST OF THE PLANET JOIN ON KICKING THE CRAP OUT OF HIM. SCOTT SHOUTS HE'S THE MAN HERE AS THE BEATING GETS WORSE AND WORSE. SCOTTY LOCKS IN THE STEINER RECLINER

JEFF CRAWLS OVER AND SMASHES THE GUITAR OVER STING'S HEAD AND SCREAMS SHIT IN HIS FACE.

Amazing, amazing angle.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Christian Cage-12/2/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Christoper Daniels-12/3/06
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; America's Most Wanted-22/10/05

TNA IMPACT
March 18th, 2006
Impact Zone

Tonight; An 8 man tag in the main event. Another X-Cup qualifier match.

Planet Jarrett in full make their way out, and i have to say it's the coolest stable TNA has given us to this point. Just a really well put together thing that works so damn well and serves it's purpose. Jeff says Sting is gone again and this time it's a little different as last time was his terms, this time it was his. He introduces Scott Steiner! He has an amazing heart tattoo on his chest and looks to have eaten even more steroids than normal. FREAKZILLA BABY. He hugs JJ and grabs the mic. YES. He's been watching TNA for a long time and he saw who they've been hiring, but they never called him. They hired Rhino (he spits on the ground) and says that's what he thinks of him. He watched them hire two fat backyard wrestlers named 3D. If he looked as bad as they do, he would have stayed in the backyard. They hired some Canadian guy Christian. The veins in his arms are bigger than his arms or legs. He's one bitch slap away from becoming an ex champion. They bought in a man that sent him into a frenzy, and that man was Sting. They rolled out the red carpet and wined and dinned him. Well, where is the new face of TNA and where is Sting? Sting is running scared, and he's the new face of TNA. He said he wasn't hired because he's got a bad attitude and he doesn't like people. He's been in jail and he's sorry for nothing. If you've got a problem with Jeff, you've got a problem with the Big Booty Daddy. SIT DOWN WHITE TRASH.

In the back, Larry says TNA management is a giant corporation and he;'s the one with an iron clad contract and he has to run the show. On the 23rd of April it will be Lockdown. Next week it will be 6 sides of steel between 3D and Team Canada! Joe storm in and asks if he's the shot caller, well it's in his best interest to give him his rematch. Larry says he's become the talk of wrestling and he needs to step out of the X-Division. Next week, he's got an opponent that will help him do just that. ARE YOU HARD OF HEARING, OLD MAN?? LARRY RUNS OFF, SO JOE SHOVES JB INTO A WALL AND WREAKS LARRY'S OFFICE AND KICKS THE DOOR OF THE HINGES. HE IS SAMOA JOE. HE IS PRO WRESTLING.

Truth, Rhino, AJ & Daniels vs AMW, Moore & Shelley in the main event.

Match#1 Maverick Matt w/Traci vs Elix Skipper w/Simon Diamond vs Sonjay Dutt (Team TNA X-Cup Qualifier)
3 minutes of pretty boring and botchy wrestling, sadly. Elix is not on one at all, and Matt is hideous as always, so Sonjay can do anything to help matters. Simon joins commentary and rants about Sonjay not being fit to represent America, and then complains about Spanish commentary being an option. Sonjay beats Maverick with the 450.
1/2*

We go to a pre-tape of Simon confronting the Baseball Players again The highlight is Alex filming as he's getting paid by everyone these days, and it's the coolest thing TNA can do if they insist on giving these losers TV time.

We come back from break where he see more footage of Simon yelling at the ball player who was given the title last week. The coach of the team hits him with a chair and kicks him out of the field.

Simon says any 10 year old with an iPod can make that footage, and this is a bold face lie.

In the back, Team 3D sing about how they're going to beat up the Canadians next week in the cage. I hate this feud.

Match#2 Abyss w/James Mitchell vs Cassidy Riley
50 second murder from our monster. BHS does it. During this, Mike says Sting has invited TNA to speak to him about what happened at DX.
CLICK DOOMSDAY.

We go to a pre-tape with Christian Cage. He says he's on set making a movie called Shoot Em Up. He's sad he can't be there with the fans, but he's not 100% and he needs time to heal and we will be back. He thinks it's sad that Alex is being used by JJ to film people and being put in these spots that will get him hurt. He says Sting has every right to feel the way he does.

In the back, Abyss & Mitchell are standing by with JB. James calls Cage a coward champion that will do everything he can to not face Abyss. He knows that at Lockdown he would be trapped in a cage with a man who will grind his face into the steel until he rips his lips off his smartarse face. Seeing as he won't come to them, they will go to them. They know where he lives and who he loves! Abyss can't speak a single word, but he knows the language of pain and he's like a puppy that needs to be cracked in the head it will register it means business. Christian will be housebroken and humiliated at the hands of Abyss. Alex walks on and says he heard the world humiliation and says he couldn't help but think this would make a great documentary, and they should take him with them. James says that's a capital idea, so lets go, my boy. They leave together for something amazing. Alex and Abyss back together is good for the heart.

Match#3 Homicide & Machette w/Konnan vs Norman Smiley & Shark Boy
90 seconds of not much as again, Ci is a man alone and can;'t do it by himself despite how good he is. Konnan hits Norman with the Slapjack to turn the tide, which doesn't bode well for this team. He tries to hit Sharky, but he ducks and Machette eats it instead and Sharky pins him.
1/2*

Post match, K-Dawg and Ci beat the shit out of Machette as Mike says he heard they were upset at him for losing to Kip. They hit him with the Slapjack and walk away. Thank God.

Match#4 AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, Rhino & Ron Killings vs Alex Shelley, Shannon Moore & America's Most Wanted w/Gail Kim
9 minutes of awesome. awesome pro wresting. First few minutes is Alex bumping big for the faces as he's the perfect punching bag for such a super team. He fights Daniels and it's sooooo good for the short time it gets. We get back from the break where AJ and Daniels are working even better together now that they've sorted it out. AJ is killed by a Lariat from Harris, and the heels jump him. Wonderful control seg as the heels kick the hell out of him, and no one rules more than AJ Styles taking a beating. Moore steps up again in a big way and looks really good on offence, and i wish he had stuck around as a low card goon in place of some of the current awful ones we're stuck with. Truth has a sweet hot tag again going nuts with strikes on everyone. It goes crazy as everyone ramps it up with dives and bombs, and the white hot crowd again. AJ and Daniels work together to kill Moore with a double powerbomb, and then AJ deadlifts him into the Clash to win.
***

A hype video for Six Sides of Steel closes us out.