The scene opens as a mixture of static and disheveled shots from a handheld camera.
Disembodied Voice: Hold the damn camera steady! Whataya think this is? TNA?
The camera comes up to see a tall thin man in a white doctor's outfit with the surgical mask over his face and white covering his head. He has one of those round silver reflectors in the center of his skull. He grins at the camera through the mask.
Wisecrack: Hello, boys and girls! Decided to take this thing on the road. We're in one of those marvelous hospitals somewhere in Canada where you get such great service and end just hoping you live through the ordeal!
Another disembodied voice: Excuse me, sir? SIR??
Wisecrack turns as does the camera to see a rather burly orderly walking their way.
Orderly: I'm sorry, but you can't be filming up here. It's against hospital policy.
Wisecrack: Oh, it's ok. I'm a DOCTOR!
Orderly, looking the strange man up and down: A Doctor, eh? Says who?
Wisecrack acts insulted: WHY, I'll have you know that I've studied medicine in some of the most interesting places!
Orderly: Oh, yeah? Where?
The Cracked Clown pulls the mask down and grins: Well....there was my degree from Nunur Damn Biznass!
The Orderly looks unimpressed and then realizes what the clown is doing, but too late. Maddog or El Loko (can't really tell them apart) connects with a leaping knee to the head of the surprised orderly; sending him crashing into the wall. Wisecrack cackles maniacally as the camera statics out.
SUDDENLY, the camera comes back after a few static ridden starts. The camera is now following 'Dr.' Wisecrack through the halls as we also see one of the Twin Terrors pushing an empty wheelchair.
Wisecrack looks behind the camera and scolds: Now, I told you to keep your finger on the damned RED BUTTON! If it comes off, not workie! GOT IT? Huh? You are. OH! Yes, ok, kiddies! We've arrived at our destination as we've made our rounds seeing a few patients. Most were easy diagnosises but that lady in 412 who kept screaming...well, for a little while at least. What WAS her problem?
The clown opens the door to room number 415 and smiles at the camera. Suddenly, it fuzzes out and back to show that the crew is already in the room and at the bedside of a very large man.
“I hear the thunder....lightning from far away....â€
The man murmurs as a light floods the room and Wisecrack begins this rather bizzare Mockumentry.
Wisecrack: Ok, let's get down to business, shall we. This poor soul; let's call him subject R. Subject R is suffering the aftereffects of years of substance abuse and loose living. AH! Brings back fond memories!
The clown stares off into the distance for a moment.
Wisecrack: But, this isn't about me...IS IT JACKIE? No, THIS is about Daddy Ripper!
Subject R looks around into the bright light. It's none other than JAXXON RIPPER, wrestling great and patriarch of the Ripper family.
Jaxxon Ripper: Jackie?! Is that you?
Suddenly, the large man jumps like he's been shot and looks around horrified.
Jaxxon Ripper: Was that THUNDER?!!
Wisecrack smiles: Why yes...yes it IS, THOR!
Jaxxon's eyes get big as he looks at the cracked clown in wonder.
Jaxxon Ripper: Wha?!! You KNOW who I AM?!!
Wisecrack: Why, of course, we do!! And we're here to take you to your element. The skies they call your name.
Suddenly, actual thunder rolls and shakes the walls of the hospital.
Jaxxon Ripper: It IS thunder!!
The camera fuzzes out and returns to see Jaxxon Ripper now seated in the wheelchair being attended to by nurse Maddog and Doctor Cracks. It seems their in an elevator.
We hear the THUNDER again.
Jaxxon Ripper's eyes get wide: The SKY! It calls my name!!
Wisecrack and Maddog giggle to themselves as the old man rants on maniacally.
Suddenly, the elevator doors open up to the roof where they have a place for patients and visitors to relax and have a cup of coffee. But no one's up here tonight as the rain has already begun to fall.
The camera follows Jaxxon as he jumps to his feet and screams at the skies.
Jaxxon Ripper: OBEY ME!! For I am the mighty THOR, son of ODIN!!!!
As the big man stumbles off, the camera turns to Wisecrack.
Wisecrack: Ya see, Jackie. You never know what BAD things can happen when you're not paying attention. Big daddy Ripper is on his last leg and you never know how long you have with him. And there you are WASTING your time in the ACW when daddy NEEDS you. I mean, where's baby brother MAX? Nowhere to be seen, as usual. That leaves it all in your very capable hands. But NO, you're too busy playing tag team with the cowboy! The clocks ticking, Jackie. You haven't much time.
Suddenly, we hear Jaxxon Ripper yelling over the coming storm: Power of the STORM, bend to MY WILL!! Bring me your POWER!!!
Wisecrack chuckles: Oh, wait! I almost forgot...THOR...we brought your hammer!
Maddog runs it over to him as the rain begins to pour and we see Jaxxon standing on the ledge screaming at the storm. As he gets his hammer, he begins to shake it at the sky. Suddenly, there are other voices.
Wisecrack: Uh, oh! Time to scram!
They put down the camera and the clown enters the frame looking sideways.
Wisecrack: Think about it, Jackie. Is revenge really worth all of that? Or is it guilt that drove you away? I mean, between what you and your father did to Max and what Donnie Trix did to your family...
Suddenly, the clown looks off and decideds to make his getaway as a couple of cops come into frame. We also see Jaxxon Ripper standing on the ledge and swinging his hammer at a couple of other cops who are trying to get him down.
Jaxxon Ripper: Stand back, DEMONS! I am THOR, god of thunder! I will strike you down with my lightning bolts!
Finally, the cops subdue the big guy and barely save him from falling off the ledge.
Jaxxon Ripper continues to rant: Unhand me, Frost Giants!! I am THOR!! I am a GOD!! I am...I am...Jackie!?!
Finally, one of the cops turns off the camera.