A little bit of a rough situation here...

[The Great Cochrane]

Alright, so I'm gonna try to make this a rundown so I can get some advice of how I can handle it here.

My buddy dated this one girl, and quite honestly the whole time (at least around us) he treated her like shit. And I would always make attempts to cheer her up and taught her the importance of smiling. Honestly this girl was a dime a dozen and as much as I wanted to be with her I knew I couldn't.. not because of my buddy because he wasn't a very good friend but because I know she deserves a lot more than what I have to offer. I connected with this girl on a deep level and she seemed to return that connection, because she made it known that she believed in me to make something more out of myself than a carpenter (I wasn't entirely happy and she knew it) in which I finally obtained my GED (high school equivalency). We would have deep one on one talks and one of my room mates actually believed that she was truly into me, I actually remember in sports games if I was playing against him she would mostly cheer for me and smack talk him. :

Anyways, time goes on and it turns out my buddy cheats on this girl for a third time, and I kind of blame myself because I knew what he was doing but to prevent any drama in our group I did not tell her. So to help her clear her head she went to a bible camp where she ended up meeting this guy from England, quite honestly I am not the jealous type.. I was a matter of fact I was happy for her but I thought it was a little weird that she was dating someone already. I mean.. if she wanted to get her pussy filled that's one thing but dating someone is another thing, and it turns out I was right. Especially considering the fact that she lives in Canada and he lives in England and I know the needs of her sex life.

I saw this person a few months later and she heavily flirted with me (she was drunk) and was initiating sexual contact with me, but I rebuffed her requests because I knew she was drunk and I really didn't want to be a regret to her. But as time went on, I heard that she had cheated her boyfriend with several people (including her ex) and is now moving out to be England to be with him. However, all the cheating incidents were alcohol induced and I know she likes to party so keep that in consideration.

So I told this person that if she was looking for sexual intimacy, I would provide her with it but I would not want her to be drunk and I would not want to engage in a full relationship with her. But than I also learned that she now believes I was making attempts to get with her previously and that I was classified as clingy, I was a little upset with this rumor and cut all ties with her because I think of her so highly and I didn't want her new reputation to destroy any good memory I had of her.

I can understand high sexual desire, she was a rape victim and her mom has the reputation of getting around as well. But I would never label her a slut seeing as I know pretty much everything this girl has been through (her dad left her when she was 4). But I want this person to have a good memory and because she was pushing me away I was a little offended considering how close we used to be. I guess with the guilt I kind of blame myself for being the way that she is because I know how hurt she was when my buddy cheated on her but I don't know how she believes what she's doing is right.

I guess what I'm asking pulse is.. how can I set that guilt aside, and do you guys believe considering all I've told you that she will turn herself around eventually? One of my buddies messaged her about the whole ordeal and she said that she hoped I was alright. So what's people's oppinions on this situation?

And for those people wondering, it is my friend who [MENTION=60]Delta Kilo[/MENTION] said was super hot. So she's best of both worlds.

PS I'd prefer that if you guys are gonna give me an unintelligent response like "Fuck her, she's a slut.", that you guys keep that shit to yourselves.

 

[Fuji Vice]

PS I'd prefer that if you guys are gonna give me an unintelligent response like "Fuck her, she's a slut.", that you guys keep that shit to yourselves.

Forget that, the best thing you can do is stay away from her dude. She's obviously crazy and way too irresponsible and irrational to deal with the emotions she has right now. Maybe in a couple of years she'll grow up, but right now you're best to give her as much distance as you'd give a rabid wolverine.

 

[Cyrus Riddle]

Honestly, I believe in always being there for someone if they are in need, even if they aren't aware of their problem. It's apparent that she has some deep seedeed problems, and although distance would probably be best, she should know that you are there for her regardless. It's important to take the emotional aspect out of the situation if possible, that way you won't condemn her for her screw ups. From what you are saying, she has definitely gotten the short end of the stick her entire life, so her present actions are definitely products of the past, and unfortunately this seems to be her way of coping and running from problems as opposed to dealing with them. You can do as you please in regards to distance or no distance, but just her knowing that you will be there for her will open her eyes, maybe not right now, but when she hits a bottom and figures out what she has been doing wrong you will be the first one that comes to mind for her to reach out. Who knows, completely swearing her off could be a mistake, and it's more than possible to maintain a certain level of communication while keeping your distance so you are not seen as clingy to her and you keep the image of her in your mind that you want.

 

[The Great Cochrane]

As far as the clingy seed goes, unfortunately I've already failed at that. She's got that image built up because I asked her to hang out a couple times when she wanted to do other things.

She told my buddy she would still text me sometime down the road so that option is still open but I feel as if she does believe that about me when I really only want to see what's best for her than giving her space is probably the best thing to do in the meantime.

 

[Cyrus Riddle]

As far as the clingy seed goes, unfortunately I've already failed at that. She's got that image built up because I asked her to hang out a couple times when she wanted to do other things.

She told my buddy she would still text me sometime down the road so that option is still open but I feel as if she does believe that about me when I really only want to see what's best for her than giving her space is probably the best thing to do in the meantime.

Whatever you feel is best, that's what you should do. Although I understand your guilt, you can't blame yourself for other people's actions, but it does speak to your level character. Some things you will never be able to control, but the aspects that you can control are yours for the taking.

 

[The Great Cochrane]

She knows that I don't hate her, I told her I always want to keep a good image of her no matter what. So maybe when all this does blow over and she does come to terms than maybe she will reach out to me?

Quite honestly, I'm not looking for a relationship due to the fact that I want to wait until my life is in full effect but I will keep my heart open to her because if she wanted to I would be there for her... not that realistically that's gonna happen but if the opportunity presented itself... nevermind, wishful thinking lol.

I just know she doesn't want me around as much as I want her, which is in any aspect possiple as long as we make those clear.

 

[Cyrus Riddle]

She knows that I don't hate her, I told her I always want to keep a good image of her no matter what. So maybe when all this does blow over and she does come to terms than maybe she will reach out to me?

Quite honestly, I'm not looking for a relationship due to the fact that I want to wait until my life is in full effect but I will keep my heart open to her because if she wanted to I would be there for her... not that realistically that's gonna happen but if the opportunity presented itself... nevermind, wishful thinking lol.

I just know she doesn't want me around as much as I want her, which is in any aspect possiple as long as we make those clear.

You have the right attitude toward the situation by keeping yourself open...there is no such thing as wishful thinking, because I am a believer that anything can happen. This is one of those situations where you really have to be comfortable with keeping yourself out there no matter what. If you remain open, she'll either reach out to you or you'll be disappointed because she moves on. However, you will have the peace of mind knowing that you are there for her when she needs it, not when you need her to. It really comes down to being selfless and how long you can maintain that frame of mind.

 

[The Great Cochrane]

Thanks for the advice, Brandon

I'll definitely be looking out here when it comes to these kind of situations.

 

[Cyrus Riddle]

No problem at all, feel free to hit me up anytime. I am studying to be a Substance Abuse Counselor, so I've taken all of the Psychology and Social Work based classes that teach interpersonal communication and assisting people that have problems. It's very interesting, so I try to apply it as much as possible. I'm pretty good at helping in my honest opinion of myself.

 

[The Great Cochrane]

Alright I made the decision that I told this girl I could be friends with her when she grew up and matured and I also told her that my buddy's a limp dick fool who didn't know what do with a freak like her. Than I also told her if she wants to get fucked by a real man to gimme a call.

So if she does reach out to me, we're gonna be strictly friends with benefits (also standing with a lack of trust).