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2016 NFL Regular Season Thread
- Thread starter Dolph'sZiggler
- Start date
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So I'm going to be the opposite of ESPN for a post.
OMG CAM NEWTON IS STARTING YAYYYYY NEWTON IS HEALTHY AND AWESOME HE'S THE HERO WE ALL NEED THE NFL IS SAVED WOOOOO CAM CAM YOU THE MAN AYE WE WANT SOME NEWWWWTON WOOOOOOOOOO
also colin kaepernick is a thing, but lets focus on more important stories like Cody Kessler AND CAM NEWTON YEAH CAM CAM CAM CAM CAM OMG
It's just feeling like there's more parity than ever before. There's going to be a lot of 50/50 games this year, man.
OMG CAM NEWTON IS STARTING YAYYYYY NEWTON IS HEALTHY AND AWESOME HE'S THE HERO WE ALL NEED THE NFL IS SAVED WOOOOO CAM CAM YOU THE MAN AYE WE WANT SOME NEWWWWTON WOOOOOOOOOO
also colin kaepernick is a thing, but lets focus on more important stories like Cody Kessler AND CAM NEWTON YEAH CAM CAM CAM CAM CAM OMG
It's just feeling like there's more parity than ever before. There's going to be a lot of 50/50 games this year, man.
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Also Henry is really nice. SD has talent but a lot of early season injuries and obviously a few crazy choke jobs.
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I keep hearing criticism of the Raiders because our point differential is tiny for a 4-1 team. Sorry for not being sorry for winning close games
If they didn't miss a bajillion field goals one game, blow a 20 point lead after their best QB got hurt, and didn't get screwed by corrupt officials vs Washington, we'd have a 3-2 Browns team!!!!!
This is the most woulda-coulda-shouda year I've ever seen lol.
But the Raiders are the only team that has an OL good enough to handle Denver in the playoffs, AND Carr has proven he can win in the clutch. That's a thing. That matters. When the playoffs go around, that's what makes the difference.
We're all on the Raiders bandwagon this year. They're just jealous because their fat asses couldn't find a seat.
:testify:
doing a game preview thingie because why not
Patriots at Bengals: Is it just me that thinks the Bengals are the easiest team in the world to gameplan for? I'd debut the 3-2-6 defense against these guys. 3 pass rushers because Chris Long can ABUSE their RT, 2 LB's to stop the run, then 6 dudes cover AJ Green. Who cares about these other guys, they suck. ANGRY BRADY SMASH. Bengals are a legit 2-3 after their yearly FA talent depletion finally caught up to them
Ravens at Giants: Honestly the only chance Baltimore has in this game is either if Eli plays like... well, like he did last week, if much like Buffalo the defensive woes can be solved by firing the offensive coordinator, or if the team completely overlooks this because they're playing in London on Sunday. Fuck these London and Thursday games. They're bad football that lead to more bad football. Otherwise OBJ/Shepard/Cruz will have a nice Blackbird dinner and the injured Ravens offense can't catch up.
Panthers at Saints: WOOOOOOOOOOOOO CAM NEWTON IS BACK!!!!!!!!! Not much to say here, just expect to see this whole game play out on RedZone just like every other Saints game. Both these teams have good QB's and #1 receivers and nothing else. Taking the Saints to win because the coin landed tails.
Steelers at Dolphins: Lol......... wait a minute the Dolphins might win this. Pittsburgh ALWAYS has this one random road game they should easily win where they just don't care. These teams... much like much of the NFL... are closer than you think, and Tannehill can have a random "Where did THIS come from!?" game when you forget the Steelers' defense is ass. Oh yeah and lookahead game to the Pats next week. UPSET ALERT. probably not. inb4 47-7
Jaguars at Bears: The winner of this game is whoever doesn't watch Jaguars at Bears, because it's a battle of the Garbage Time Superhero and....... holy shit according to QB rating Brian Hoyer is a top-5 QB! That sounds like enough of a reason for me to make a pick here. Bears for $500, Alex
49ers vs Bills: OMG LESEAN MCCOY REVENGE GAME! When he has 300 yards rushing this week it's clearly because Chip Kelly is such a racist for cutting him to replace him with stud white running back DeMarco Murray. Or, it's because I could have 100 yards rushing against the Niners. And also west coast 1 PM
Rams at Lions: Battle of two injured defenses! Lambs only have their D-line going for them and they were missing 2 injured linemen going into last weeks game but so was Detroit and holy shit they're going to London next week. Picking Detroit but sheesh when "rams football" is on your list of exports it's no wonder the world hates us.
Browns at Titans: Who cares?
Eagles at Redskins: This... is a weird situation where you think the teams are closer than they are. This could get ugly, folks. Wentz is that dude, despite having the NFL's worst receiving corps. The defense is real. Cousins is not, Jordan Reed is out, and the chewing gum on a string defense in Washington won't contain a thing. Eagles. BIG.
Kansas City vs Oakland... I almost feel like Kansas City will win this. Like San Diego just won, so this has to even out, right?!?!?!... I can't pick Derek Carr over Alex Smith. Raiders D has holes that the Chiefs can't exploit. And that's all I've got to say about that
Falcons at Seahawks: BIRD BATTLE. Richard Sherman vs Julio Jones deserves everything it gets. What a big deal this is... but I can't help but think that's the story. With Julio facing an actual NFL CB (great job letting Josh Norman walk, stupid Panthers) he could be held in check. Same with the patchwork OL that's overperformed. Same with the running game that's had some fluky stats helping it... All of that points to Matt Ryan being... well... Matt Ryan. I wonder about Wilson's ankles and all but the Seahawks can't even block the shit Falcons pass rush but Wilson doesn't care. He's a man. He's 40
Cowboys at Panthers: Someone call Aaron Rodgers and tell him the NFL is underway and he's free to start playing at any moment.... meh he won't show up this week either since they're already looking ahead to Thursday night's matchup with the Vikings who have a bye this week. Fire Goodell.
Colts at Texans: It's the stoppable force vs the movable object ON SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL! I can't WAIT to watch Brock Osweiler vs Colts defense. WOW that should be fun. Deandre Hopkins is gonna be open by 10 yards every play and still get GN82 3 fantasy points. The three good players on the Colts' league-worst roster may carry these guys to a W on Sunday
Jets at Cardinals: Broken down ass Carson Palmer vs Ryan Fitzpzzzzzzzzzzzz... *snore*
Patriots at Bengals: Is it just me that thinks the Bengals are the easiest team in the world to gameplan for? I'd debut the 3-2-6 defense against these guys. 3 pass rushers because Chris Long can ABUSE their RT, 2 LB's to stop the run, then 6 dudes cover AJ Green. Who cares about these other guys, they suck. ANGRY BRADY SMASH. Bengals are a legit 2-3 after their yearly FA talent depletion finally caught up to them
Ravens at Giants: Honestly the only chance Baltimore has in this game is either if Eli plays like... well, like he did last week, if much like Buffalo the defensive woes can be solved by firing the offensive coordinator, or if the team completely overlooks this because they're playing in London on Sunday. Fuck these London and Thursday games. They're bad football that lead to more bad football. Otherwise OBJ/Shepard/Cruz will have a nice Blackbird dinner and the injured Ravens offense can't catch up.
Panthers at Saints: WOOOOOOOOOOOOO CAM NEWTON IS BACK!!!!!!!!! Not much to say here, just expect to see this whole game play out on RedZone just like every other Saints game. Both these teams have good QB's and #1 receivers and nothing else. Taking the Saints to win because the coin landed tails.
Steelers at Dolphins: Lol......... wait a minute the Dolphins might win this. Pittsburgh ALWAYS has this one random road game they should easily win where they just don't care. These teams... much like much of the NFL... are closer than you think, and Tannehill can have a random "Where did THIS come from!?" game when you forget the Steelers' defense is ass. Oh yeah and lookahead game to the Pats next week. UPSET ALERT. probably not. inb4 47-7
Jaguars at Bears: The winner of this game is whoever doesn't watch Jaguars at Bears, because it's a battle of the Garbage Time Superhero and....... holy shit according to QB rating Brian Hoyer is a top-5 QB! That sounds like enough of a reason for me to make a pick here. Bears for $500, Alex
49ers vs Bills: OMG LESEAN MCCOY REVENGE GAME! When he has 300 yards rushing this week it's clearly because Chip Kelly is such a racist for cutting him to replace him with stud white running back DeMarco Murray. Or, it's because I could have 100 yards rushing against the Niners. And also west coast 1 PM
Rams at Lions: Battle of two injured defenses! Lambs only have their D-line going for them and they were missing 2 injured linemen going into last weeks game but so was Detroit and holy shit they're going to London next week. Picking Detroit but sheesh when "rams football" is on your list of exports it's no wonder the world hates us.
Browns at Titans: Who cares?
Eagles at Redskins: This... is a weird situation where you think the teams are closer than they are. This could get ugly, folks. Wentz is that dude, despite having the NFL's worst receiving corps. The defense is real. Cousins is not, Jordan Reed is out, and the chewing gum on a string defense in Washington won't contain a thing. Eagles. BIG.
Kansas City vs Oakland... I almost feel like Kansas City will win this. Like San Diego just won, so this has to even out, right?!?!?!... I can't pick Derek Carr over Alex Smith. Raiders D has holes that the Chiefs can't exploit. And that's all I've got to say about that
Falcons at Seahawks: BIRD BATTLE. Richard Sherman vs Julio Jones deserves everything it gets. What a big deal this is... but I can't help but think that's the story. With Julio facing an actual NFL CB (great job letting Josh Norman walk, stupid Panthers) he could be held in check. Same with the patchwork OL that's overperformed. Same with the running game that's had some fluky stats helping it... All of that points to Matt Ryan being... well... Matt Ryan. I wonder about Wilson's ankles and all but the Seahawks can't even block the shit Falcons pass rush but Wilson doesn't care. He's a man. He's 40
Cowboys at Panthers: Someone call Aaron Rodgers and tell him the NFL is underway and he's free to start playing at any moment.... meh he won't show up this week either since they're already looking ahead to Thursday night's matchup with the Vikings who have a bye this week. Fire Goodell.
Colts at Texans: It's the stoppable force vs the movable object ON SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL! I can't WAIT to watch Brock Osweiler vs Colts defense. WOW that should be fun. Deandre Hopkins is gonna be open by 10 yards every play and still get GN82 3 fantasy points. The three good players on the Colts' league-worst roster may carry these guys to a W on Sunday
Jets at Cardinals: Broken down ass Carson Palmer vs Ryan Fitzpzzzzzzzzzzzz... *snore*
Fun stat: With a 56.1% completion percentage, among 31 qualified quarterbacks (the main starter for each team sans New England)... the most inaccurate QB in the NFL this year is Aaron Rodgers.