Cole: Welcome, one and all, to The Revolution!
Sharmell: The night where everything changes! After tonight, you’ll see what women’s wrestling is supposed to be!
Cole: Tonight we’ve got Roxxi Laveaux defending the North American Championship against Melina, we’ve got a grudge match as Daizee Haze and Portia Perez take on Angelina Love and Velvet Sky, Victoria will be defending the Revolutionary Championship against ODB, with stipulations and a special guest referee who we will be seeing later, and Awesome Kong will be defending the World Championship against Beth Phoenix.
Sharmell: That’s right. But coming up right now is the first ever Key to the Mint Match!
Cole: That’s right! We see the cage structure there. The only way to win is to grab the right key, climb down, open that chest, and retrieve the championship contract. We’re not wasting any time, the cage is being lowered right now!
Key to the Mint Match
Christy Hemme vs. Gail Kim vs. Jacqueline vs. Rain vs. Salinas vs. Traci Brooks
Gail Kim and Traci Brooks dove for their closest keys and grabbed them without any trouble. The other two keys were fought over by Christy and Rain, and Salinas and Jacqueline. Gail and Traci walked up to each other, raised their keys, and sort of shrugged indifferently. They chose to simply watch the other four fight.
Salinas was higher up the cage wall, so Jacqueline hammered her in the back to knock her off. Jacqueline climbed to equal height, and Salinas elbowed her hard in the face. Jacqueline stumbled and lost her footing, only on the cage by her hands. Salinas climbed the final length, grabbed the key, and cracked Jacqueline with the plastic bar it was tied to. Jacqueline hit the cage floor.
Rain grabbed Christy by the hips and tried to yank her off the cage wall. Christy kicked Rain away, hastily climbed up, and grabbed the key. Rain got up, grabbed Christy’s foot, and yanked her off the wall. Christy hit the cage floor flat on her stomach. Rain quickly snatched the key and turned to run. Christy grabbed Rain’s ankles and yanked them back, pulling her onto her stomach. She jumped on Rain’s back and put her in a Camel Clutch. Traci took this opportunity to grab the key from Rain’s hand. Christy cursed, jumped up, and speared Traci into the cage wall. Christy grabbed both keys. As she stood back up, Rain kicked her hard in the back and hit her with a Rain Drop, her Falling Reverse DDT, right on the cage floor. Rain grabbed both keys.
Jacqueline had the key. Salinas hit her up against the cage wall with forearms, and went to Irish whip her. Jacqueline reversed it and cracked her with the plastic bar. Salinas stumbled back. Jacqueline went for a second one, which Salinas ducked under and responded with a knee to the gut. Salinas Irish whipped Jacqueline against the cage wall. Jacqueline stumbled forwards. Salinas charged and used the cage wall to hit Jacqueline with a tornado DDT.
Rain and Gail had gotten into a brawl. Rain kicked Gail in the gut, and went for a Fisherman’s driver. Gail flipped out of it. Rain spun around, grabbed Gail, and tried for a double knee backbreaker. Gail stayed on her feet, and ran backwards to drive Rain into the cage wall. Rain dropped both her keys. Christy quickly ran and grabbed both of them, but was hit with a running big boot from Traci, slamming her hard into the wall and busting her open. Traci grabbed both keys. Rain hit Gail with a forearm, shoved her away, and hit Traci with a swinging neckbreaker. Traci dropped both keys, but before Rain could grab them, she was hit in the back with a running dropkick, driving her into the cage wall.
Gail grabbed both keys as Traci got to her feet. Gail looked at the three keys she now held, shrugged, and tossed Traci one. Gail said something to the effect of “We can kill each other when we get to the chest.” Traci smiled, nodded, and cracked Gail with the bar of her key. She grabbed all three.
Salinas and Jacqueline still fought over the same key. They got into a grapple, which quickly broke apart as Jacqueline grabbed for the key. Another quick grapple and another break. A quick counter-to-counter motion by both of them and Jacqueline ended up behind Salinas. Jacqueline hit Salinas with a release German suplex. Salinas, still holding the key, got to her feet. Jacqueline charged, dropped Salinas with a Thesz press, and began hitting her with forearms. Jacqueline grabbed the key, and Traci charged with a lariat. Jacqueline ducked under it, Traci spun around, and Jacqueline hit her with a Superkick. All three of Traci’s keys went flying. Christy, blood flowing down her face, appeared to advance on Jacqueline, but to Jacqueline’s surprise Christy walked right by her. Christy grabbed the bar of a key, seemingly as a weapon rather than actually wanting the key. She yanked Traci up by the neck and cracked her hard in the forehead with it. Traci fell into a heap.
Salinas and Gail dove for the two free keys and grabbed one each. They looked at each other, and at Christy and Jacqueline, then all four looked at Rain, who was just getting to her feet. Rain glared at all of them, not sure of what to do. She took a chance and charged for Jacqueline, who tripped her headfirst into the cage wall with a drop toe hold. Jacqueline flowed into a single leg Boston crab, as Gail, Salinas, and Christy just watched.
Ten minutes was up, and the trap doors opened.
Gail, Salinas, Christy, and Jacqueline ran to the separate trap doors and hastily climbed down. They ran for the large, fixed chest in the middle of the ring, about two feet high. Christy got their first, jumped off it, and took Salinas down with a flying forearm. Christy pinned Salinas down with a choke, and cracked her with the key bar. Being busted open seemed to have triggered something in Christy.
Jacqueline dove for the chest to try her key. Gail yanked her up, feigned a kick, and hit an enzuigiri. Gail sprung to her feet, Jacqueline quickly got up, and Gail sent her away with a hurricanrana. Gail went to try her key, but was cracked in the head with the key bar by Christy. Christy rolled Gail out of the way and tried her key. It didn’t work. Christy tossed it away and tried the key she took from Salinas. It didn’t work either. Christy tossed it away in frustration. She inadvertently tossed it right to Jacqueline. Jacqueline walked up to Christy and cracked her with the bar. She stood over Christy, stomped on her once, and dropped the key on her.
The two remaining keys were lying on the mat. Jacqueline grabbed the nearest one and went to try it, but Gail grabbed her ankle and yanked her away. Jacqueline spun around and Gail got to her feet. The two exchanged strikes. Gail Irish whipped Jacqueline across the ring, forcing Jacqueline to jump over the chest in the process. Jacqueline bounced off the ropes, jumped over the chest again, and Gail hit her with a dropkick in mid air. Gail got up, and suddenly Salinas grabbed her and hit a chokehold STO, dropping her right on the chest. Salinas rolled Gail away and tried the key. It didn’t work.
The one remaining key was lying in the corner, between the ropes and the cage wall. Salinas ran for it, jumping through the ropes. She grabbed it, spun around, and Christy charged, hitting a running dropkick through the ropes and hitting Salinas into the cage wall. Christy jumped through the ropes, in some kind of rage from the blood. She grabbed Salinas by the back of the head and slammed her first into the cage wall, then into the steel ring post. Christy tossed Salinas through the ropes and into the ring. She jumped to the top turnbuckle and hit her split-legged guillotine leg drop.
Christy got up, and Traci was there, charging with another big boot. It took Christy in the head, and she flipped over the top rope and collapsed on the mesh. Traci climbed through the ropes and grabbed the key. Rain had climbed half way down the cage wall. She waited for a second, then dropped. She grabbed Traci as she fell and hit a huge double knee backbreaker. She grabbed the key and climbed back into the ring. Jacqueline was just starting to get up, and Rain charged and slammed her down with a lariat.
Rain bent down to try the key, but was yanked away by Gail. The two faced each other, realizing that everyone else was laid out. The two got into a grapple. Gail broke it by twisting Rain’s arm, getting her into a wristlock. Rain countered, reversing the twist and flowing into a hammerlock. Gail ran for the corner, ran up the turnbuckle, and flipped out of the hammerlock to land behind Rain. Gail grabbed Rain and Irish whipped her into the opposite turnbuckle, Rain having to jump over the chest. Gail charged, jumped off the chest, and went for a running dropkick. Rain rolled out of the way and Gail kicked the turnbuckle. Gail began to get up. Rain sprung to her feet and charged for a spear. Gail strafed to the side, and Rain took the ring post to her shoulder.
Rain, still holding the key, slowly pulled herself out of the ropes. She turned around, and Gail jumped for a double knee gutbuster. Rain held onto the ropes, keeping upright. Gail let go, dropped to her feet, and Rain got both her feet up to kick Gail away. Rain jumped to the second turnbuckle. Gail got up and charged, knocking Rain’s feet out. Rain hit the mat headfirst, and Gail grabbed the key.
Gail got to the chest and crouched down. Rain ran and hit her with a running kick to the head, knocking her and the key away. Rain ran and grabbed the key, ran for the chest, and was tripped by Gail. Gail got to her feet, ran for Rain, and jumped high for a knee drop. Rain rolled out of the way, and Gail screamed as she hit only the mat. Rain shoved Gail away and quickly tried to use the key. Gail quickly jumped up and hit a standing dropkick on Rain. Rain’s head hit the chest and Gail fell flat on her back.
Gail got up, grabbed Rain, and yanked her onto her back. Gail grabbed Rain and flipped her over into a Cloverleaf. The key was in reach. Gail adjusted a bit so she could hold the cloverleaf well enough with one arm, grabbed the key, and opened the chest. With Rain screaming in pain throughout, Gail reached in and grabbed the contract.
Lilian: Here is your winner, Gail Kim!
Gail released Rain and stood up, holding the contract high. Rain stayed down, holding her legs in pain.
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Elvira, Daizee Haze, Portia Perez, Roxxi Laveaux, Melina, Angelina Love, and Velvet Sky are all in Elvira’s office.
Elvira: Huh, Christy went insane… hey! The camera is on us now! Look, it’s like some kind of temporal vortex! <waves her hand and her hand waves on the dozen Elvira’s repeating on the screen> It’s like I divided by zero! Ha!
Daizee: …you realize we’re confined to three hours, right?
Elvira: Oh fine, fine. You two, you two; your match is next, so get out there.
Daizee, Portia, Angelina, and Velvet leave.
Elvira: As for you two, since run-ins are hilarious on the show but I don’t want them here, you’ll be staying here.
Melina: But I need to warm up!
Elvira: Fine. Security will escort you down there and make sure you don’t leave.
Melina: Oh come on!
Security takes Melina away.
Elvira: Now, what to do with you in the meantime…
Roxxi: …
Elvira: I know! Dance Dance Revolution! Oh, you’ll love this game so much!
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Cole: The Voodoo Queen on DDR, that’s gotta be a sight to see. Well ladies and gentlemen, after Daizee and Portia outsmarted The Beautiful People last week, this match is definitely going to be one for the record books.
Sharmell: That’s right. The Beautiful People were, ahem, ‘powned’ last week, and I can’t wait to watch it happen again.
Lilian: The following is a tag team match, scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, representing the Barbie Crushers, at a combined weight of 238 pounds, Daizee Haze and Portia Perez!
Cole: ‘Barbie Crushers’?
Sharmell: That was Roxxi Laveaux’s name for the Voodoo Drop back in SHIMMER. I think in this scenario it’s quite appropriate.
Lilian: And their opponents, representing the Beautiful People, and at an undisclosed weight, Angelina Love and Velvet Sky!
Tag Team Match
Angelina Love and Velvet Sky vs. Daizee Haze and Portia Perez
Portia and Angelina locked into a grapple. Portia shoved Angelina away. Angelina rolled through and landed seated against the ropes. Portia smiled at her. Angelina ran and tagged in Velvet. Velvet climbed into the ring and ran for Portia. Portia strafed to the side and connected with a quick spinning kick to the gut. Velvet leaned forward, holding her gut. Portia grabbed Velvet’s hand, spun to twist Velvet’s arm, and Velvet was yanked into a front flip to land seated. Portia flowed through into a hammerlock, yanked Velvet into a standing position with it, and pulled her back into a roll up. Velvet kicked out at two. Both girls got to their feet. Portia grabbed Velvet’s ankles, yanked them up to make Velvet fall on her back, and Portia rolled her up again. Another kickout at two.
Portia grabbed Velvet’s arm and spun twice, forcing Velvet again to flip into a seated position. Portia connected with a kick to Velvet’s face, knocking her on her back. Portia ran and tagged in Daizee. Daizee jumped into the ring as Velvet sat back up, and connected with a dropkick to the back of her head. Daizee sprung up, ran forward, and connected with another low dropkick to Velvet’s face. Daizee covered for two. Daizee grabbed Velvet, twisted her arm, and dragged her over to tag Portia. Portia grabbed Velvet’s head and jumped off the ring, snapping Velvet’s neck across the top rope.
Portia slid into the ring and grabbed Velvet’s ankle as she tried to make it to Angelina. Portia jumped on Velvet and put her in a Camel Clutch. Angelina jumped into the ring and kicked Portia’s head, breaking it up. The ref began to yell at Angelina. Daizee quickly jumped into the ring and ran for Angelina. Angelina jumped out of the ring, backing away on the floor. Daizee, not stopping, leapt to the top turnbuckle and jumped off with a diving crossbody, taking Angelina down. Daizee pinned Angelina down and repeatedly hit her with forearms.
With the ref busy yelling at Daizee and Angelina, Velvet pulled Portia up and put her in an octopus hold, repeatedly biting her arm. Finally Daizee and Angelina returned to their corners and the ref focused on the match, immediately yelling at Velvet to stop biting. Velvet maintained the hold. Portia suddenly managed to stand upright and fall back, effectively slamming Velvet on her back. Portia crawled to tag Daizee, but Velvet grabbed her ankle and yanked her back. Velvet pulled Portia up, and Portia hit her with a jawbreaker. Velvet stumbled back, and Portia connected with a superkick. Velvet hit the mat hard, and Portia collapsed. Both girls made it to their corners to tag in Daizee and Angelina.
Daizee and Angelina charged for each other. Angelina ducked under Daizee’s lariat, spun around, and hit Daizee with a leg-feed enzuigiri. Daizee stumbled back, and Angelina grabbed her to snapmare her. Daizee countered by turning it into a Daizeecanrana, launching Angelina across the ring. Daizee ran to Angelina and hit her with a jawbreaker, then flowed into a Daizee Cutter. Daizee covered, and Velvet jumped in to break it up. Daizee jumped up and hit Velvet with a Yakuza kick, knocking her over the top rope to the ground. Daizee leapt to the top rope, but Angelina grabbed her ankles and yanked them back. Daizee took the turnbuckle to her gut before falling onto her back.
Daizee got up at a 5 count, and pulled Angelina up. Angelina put thumbs to Daizee’s eyes, grabbed Daizee, and hit her with a shoulder jawbreaker. Daizee fell flat on her back, and Angelina covered for two. Angelina yanked Daizee up and went to Irish whip her. Daizee reversed it and launched Angelina to a neutral turnbuckle. Daizee charged for a running elbow, which Angelina strafed out of the way of. Angelina grabbed Daizee, snapmared her, and hit a kick to her back. Angelina forced Daizee to her back, covered, and Daizee got her foot on the rope. Angelina screamed at the ref before grabbing Daizee’s arm and going for a springboard arm drag. Daizee managed to stay on her feet. She grabbed Angelina’s arm and Irish whipped her into the ropes. Angelina bounced off and ran into a standing dropkick. Daizee covered for two.
Daizee stumbled over and tagged Portia. Portia jumped into the ring and ran to the opposite ropes. Angelina got to her feet just in time to run into a spinning wheel kick from Portia. Portia covered for two. Portia grabbed Angelina’s arm and spun twice to twist it. She jumped and stomped twice, yanking Angelina’s arm down. Portia yanked Angelina close and hit a knee to her gut, then spun again to force Angelina into a flip. This time Angelina managed to land on her feet. Portia yanked Angelina back into a roll up, which Angelina kicked out of at two.
Portia quickly grabbed Angelina’s arm again and yanked her down into an armbar. Angelina screamed. Velvet jumped into the ring to break it up, but this time Daizee met her, connecting a kick to the gut and flowing into a Mind Trip. The ref yelled for them to get out of the ring, missing the fact that Angelina was tapping repeatedly. Daizee noticed and jumped out of the ring, yelling at the ref to look. Angelina managed to loosen Portia’s grip enough for Portia to break the armbar herself, and yanked Angelina back with a roll up. Angelina managed to roll through, pinning Portia. Angelina grabbed the ropes behind her as the ref made the three count.
Lilian: Here are your winners, Velvet Sky and Angelina Love!
Sharmell: She was tapping! She was holding the ropes! What the hell!!
Cole: Calm down, we all saw it!
Sharmell: All except the damn ref!
Cole: I know! I don’t like this either! But if the ref doesn’t see it, it doesn’t count.
Angelina helped Velvet back up the ramp, walking backwards and taunting Daizee and Portia.
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Elvira: <drops her 360 control and wipes the sweat from her forehead> …I didn’t realize Halo 3 was part of voodoo practice.
Roxxi: <smirk>
Elvira: …your match is next, go.
Roxxi: <walks out>
ODB walks in.
ODB: You wanted to see me?
Elvira: Yes. Where’s this guest referee? Who is he?? I need to know these things!
ODB: Relaaax! Trust me, you’ll love this guy! He’s a friend of mine, after all!
Elvira: That’s my primary concern.
ODB: OOOOHHH! Nice shot! That deserves one of these! <tosses a flask to Elvira> <points at the screen> I better not see you drinking and driving on that! <walks out>
Elvira: <yells> Hey! Tell security to watch The Beautiful People and The Barbie Crushers, I don’t want any interference in this match!
ODB: ‘Kay!
Elvira: …a friend of ODB… <drinks>
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Sharmell: Wow, I really want to know who this guest referee is, she’s been stringing us on for two weeks!
Cole: Well we’ll find out soon enough, because that match is coming up after this one. But right now, we’ve got the first championship match of the night.
Sharmell: That’s right. I’ve been looking forward to this since day 1. I want to see Roxxi DESTROY Melina! I haven’t forgotten the ‘SHIMMER nobodies’ comment!
Cole: I don’t think anybody has.
Lilian: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the WWR North American Championship! Introducing first, from Los Angeles, California, at an undisclosed weight and representing The Beautiful People, Melina! And her opponent, from Congo Square in New Orleans, Louisiana, weighing in at 160 pounds and representing the Barbie Crushers, she is the current North American Champion, the Voodoo Queen, Roxxi Laveaux!
North American Championship Match
Melina vs. Roxxi Laveaux
Roxxi smiled at Melina, rubbing her hands together. Melina breathed hard, charged, and ran into a big boot. Roxxi smiled, circling Melina. She grabbed Melina, pulled her up, and Irish whipped her across the ring. Melina bounced off the ropes and ran into a hard lariat. Roxxi covered and got a one count. Melina quickly rolled out of the ring and stood on the outside, holding the back of her head. The ref started counting, and Roxxi smiled at Melina some more.
Melina slid back into the ring and circled Roxxi, keeping her distance. Roxxi advanced and got Melina into a grapple. Melina shoved Roxxi away and began hitting her with strikes, pushing her against the ropes. Melina Irish whipped Roxxi, and Roxxi reversed it, yanking Melina into a lariat. Melina ducked under it, got behind Roxxi, and hit her with a quick Inverted DDT. Melina covered for a one count. Melina grabbed Roxxi and put her in a Camel Clutch. Roxxi managed to get to the ropes, and Melina let go at the 4 count.
Melina yanked Roxxi up and Irish whipped her into the turnbuckle. She charged for a double knee strike, and Roxxi strafed out of the way. Melina hit the turnbuckle and fell on her back. Roxxi stumbled away as Melina got to her feet. Melina charged, and Roxxi hit an exploder suplex. Roxxi got up, grabbed Melina by the hair, ran her to the turnbuckle and slammed her head against it. Roxxi then pushed Melina into the turnbuckle and hit a hard chop to her chest, making Melina scream out and stumble away, holding her chest. Roxxi grabbed Melina, spun her around, and hit a hard uppercut to knock her into the corner. Roxxi backed up and charged for a hip attack, which Melina dove out of the way of. Melina ran to the ropes, bounced off, and hit Roxxi with a spinning facebuster. Melina covered for two.
Melina grabbed Roxxi and applied a read naked choke. She backed up to the turnbuckles and slowly climbed up them, yanking Roxxi off her feet with the hold for a few seconds. Melina dropped Roxxi, let her stumble away, then leapt off for a diving seated senton. Melina landed on top of Roxxi, so she flowed quickly into another Camel Clutch. After a minute Roxxi managed to stand up, Melina now hanging off her, and run back to slam Melina into the corner. Melina let go and Roxxi tried to get away, but Melina quickly grabbed her and dropped into the splits to hit a rear mat slam. Melina covered for two and a half, and screamed at the ref. Melina got up, grabbed Roxxi by the hair, and hit a hard curb stomp. Another cover, this time only for two. Melina again yelled at the ref, and the ref yelled back about the hair pulling.
Melina grabbed Roxxi, yanked her up, and went to Irish whip her. Roxxi reversed it and sent Melina to the ropes, Melina bounced off, and Roxxi hit her with a spinning spinebuster.
Both girls got to their feet at 6. Roxxi kicked Melina in the gut and got her up for a Voodoo Slam. Melina dropped behind Roxxi and hit her with a snapmare. Roxxi managed to land on her feet, and hit Melina with a Daizee Cutter. Roxxi briefly turned to the camera and smiled, apparently at Daizee, before covering Melina. She got a two count. Roxxi pulled Melina up, and Melina hit her with a thumb to the eyes. The ref yelled at her, and Roxxi suddenly spit a mouthful of Asian mist into her face. Now the ref yelled at her, then simply yelled at both of them.
(Roxxi got the mist capsule while the camera focused on Melina after the Daizee Cutter, for you critical readers)
Roxxi advanced on Melina, grabbed her, and hit a few punches. She spun for the discus forearm, which Melina ducked under. Melina kneed Roxxi hard in the back, bending her backwards. Melina got her leg up for the inverted leg drop bulldog, but Roxxi managed to get upright, making Melina hit only the mat. Roxxi ran for the far ropes, bounced off, and hit a low big boot on Melina. Roxxi covered for two and a half.
Roxxi grabbed Melina, Irish whipped her into the corner, and hit a running hip strike. Roxxi ran to the far ropes, bounced off, and went for a big boot. Melina ducked under it and hit Roxxi with a kneeling hangman’s neckbreaker. Melina covered, got two, and screamed in frustration and disbelief. Melina slowly got up and pulled Roxxi up. Roxxi hit her with a chop, then picked her up, carried her to the middle of the ring, and hit a fallaway slam. Roxxi got up, turned, and faced Melina, beckoning her to come. Melina breathed hard in anger, dragged herself to her feet, and approached with a punch. Roxxi simply grabbed Melina’s arm, got her up, and hit a Voodoo Drop. Cover and three.
Lilian: Here is your winner, and still WWR North American Champion, the Voodoo Queen, Roxxi Laveaux!
Sharmell: YES!! That’s what I’m talking about!!
Cole: Sit down, the cord on these headsets isn’t that long.
Sharmell: Let’s see that voodoo mist again! That’ll teach Melina to try to cheat!
Cole: Melina risked disqualification there, no doubt. So did Roxxi, but hey, fight fire with fire, that’s probably why the ref didn’t bother.
Sharmell: WHAT’S SHIMMER NOW, MELINA?!
Cole: Impartiality is dead. Well nevertheless, Roxxi Laveaux is still the North American Champion!
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Krystal: I’m here with our first Key to the Mint winner, Gail Kim. So, Gail, you won!
Gail: That’s right, I did. And after the last match, now we know I won’t be using the contract on the North American Championship. But anyway, have you seen Beth Phoenix?
Krystal: She’s probably in the locker room. Why, do you still want to help her win? Hasn’t she made herself clear enough?
Gail: If I’m not the number one contender, then at the very least I want to make sure that the title is taken away from Awesome Kong. Besides, after what happened last week, I think she’ll be more inclined to listen to me.
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Traci Brooks is sitting on the bench in the locker room, holding the back of her neck.
JB: JB, Jeremy Borash, here with Traci Brooks. Traci, what are your thoughts on-
Christy Hemme: You BITCH!!
Christy, blood still dripping down her face, charged in and kicked Traci off the bench with a boot to the head. Christy grabbed Traci, yanked her up, and slammed her head first into the lockers. She spun Traci around, pressed her against the lockers, and connected with a hard punch to the gut. Christy threw Traci to the ground and stomped on her once for good measure.
Christy looked at JB for a second, then walked out.
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Sharmell: Wow, the sight of her own blood turns Christy Hemme feral, or something.
Cole: We’ll try to keep you up to date on that, but right now is the moment we’ve been waiting for, the Last Woman Standing Match between ODB and Victoria, with a special guest referee.
Sharmell: With all this hype, ODB better have brought in somebody good.
Lilian: The following is a Last Woman Standing Match for the WWR Revolutionary Championship! Introducing first, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, weighing 130 pounds, ODB! And her opponent, from San Bernardino, California, weighing 155 pounds, she is the current Revolutionary Champion, Victoria!
ODB took the mic from Lilian once she was done announcing Victoria.
ODB: Alright, ladies and gentlemen, gimme an OOOOOHHHH!!
Crowd <more or less in unison> OOOHHH!!
Cole: <snicker>
ODB: That’s what I like to hear! Well everyone, before I start to kick this bitch’s ass, let me introduce you all to the toughest, baddest SOB I know! You know him, you love him, now stand up and shout for the one,
the only, THE SANDMAN!
The unmistakable entrance of Sandman began to play.
Cole: Ooohhh my!
Sharmell: Hell yeah!
ODB looked around and eventually managed to finger Sandman at one of the entrances. Sandman wore a rather uncharacteristic referee shirt, Singapore cane in one hand and beer in the other. He snapped the beer open, poured some down his throat, and repeatedly smashed the can against his head.
ODB: OOOOHHH!!
Victoria: <hands on hips>
Sandman entered the ring, smirked at ODB, and mocked her “OOOHHH” motion.
ODB: Yeah, yeah, send one this way.
Sandman pulled two beers from his pockets and tossed one to ODB. ODB and Sandman got on separate turnbuckles, snapped open the beers, poured them down their throats and smashed the cans against their heads.
Cole: Is this the best thing to do before a Last Woman Standing match?
Finally, ODB and Sandman got back into the ring.
Sandman: <raises his hand to start the match, then stops> Oh to hell with this. <rips his sleeves off and tosses them to the crowd> Okay, NOW. <signals>
WWR Revolutionary Championship Match
Last Woman Standing
ODB vs. Victoria
ODB and Victoria charged towards each other, got in a grapple, and shoved each other away. They again charged and grappled. Victoria broke it and took ODB up for a scoop slam. ODB slid behind Victoria, lifted her up, and slammed her down across her knee for a backbreaker. ODB quickly grabbed Victoria, lifted her up, and hit her with a scoop slam. ODB jumped over Victoria, ran and bounced off the ropes, and went for an elbow drop. Victoria rolled out of the way and ODB elbowed the mat.
Victoria pulled ODB up, and ODB quickly shoved her away. Victoria gave a small laugh, and connected with a superkick. ODB hit the mat hard, and Sandman moved to start counting. Victoria shoved him aside and yanked ODB up by her hair. She ran ODB to the turnbuckle and smashed her face into it, then Irish whipped her by her hair to the opposite turnbuckle. She charged and connected with a high elbow. ODB stumbled away. Victoria kicked her in the gut and brought her up for a Widow’s Peak. ODB dropped down behind Victoria, ran to the ropes, and charged back to hit a spear on Victoria.
Sandman counted 1, but ODB raised a hand to stop him. She grabbed his Singapore cane and advanced on Victoria. She tapped the mat twice with it, then held it like a baseball bat. Victoria got to her feet, and ODB cracked the side of her head with the stick, breaking it and sending Victoria to the mat. Sandman laughed, and started counting. Victoria got up at 5. ODB advanced and hammered her with chops, backing her into the corner. She grabbed Victoria’s arm and twisted it, putting her in a wrist lock. Victoria spun out to counter it, twisted ODB’s arm, and put her in a hammerlock. Victoria shoved ODB against the ropes, then Irish whipped her across the ring. ODB bounced off the ropes and ran into a swinging side slam from Victoria. Victoria jumped to her feet, jumped to the outside edge of the ring, and hit ODB with a slingshot somersault leg drop.
Sandman counted, and ODB got up at 5. Victoria grabbed ODB’s arm and spun to twist it. ODB grabbed Victoria’s throat with her free hand, then connected with a chop to it. She grabbed Victoria’s throat again and ran her into the corner. Victoria let go of ODB’s arm on the impact, and ODB choked her against the turnbuckle. ODB yanked Victoria away from the turnbuckle by her neck and slammed the back of her head into it, then tossed her to the mat. ODB climbed to the top turnbuckle and gave an OOOHHH. Victoria got to her feet, and ODB connected with a missile dropkick.
Victoria got up at 4 and stumbled to the ropes. ODB charged for a spear, and Victoria quickly got out of the way, sending ODB through the ropes to the ground. Victoria wiped her face off and climbed down to the ground, where ODB suddenly jabbed her in the ribs with a steel chair from under the ring. Victoria staggered back, and ODB went to crack her head. Victoria strafed to the side and kneed ODB in the gut. Victoria grabbed ODB by the hair, bent her back against the ring, and slammed her face against the announce table. Victoria grabbed the chair, waited for ODB to get to her knees, then cracked her in the face with it, sending her to her back. Sandman counted 7 before ODB got to her feet, though she immediately collapsed against the announce table. Victoria screamed at Sandman, accusing him of counting slow for her.
Sandman: Girl, do you REALLY want to fight me on this? <smirk>
Victoria: I’ll kick your ass right here right now!
Sandman laughed, and motioned for Victoria to come into the ring. Victoria began to climb in, but ODB grabbed her and yanked her back out. She grabbed the chair from Victoria’s hand and slammed her in the back with it. Victoria folded against the edge of the ring, and ODB hit her again. Victoria collapsed, and ODB threw the chair aside. Sandman counted 1, but ODB interrupted him. She grabbed Victoria by the head and sat down on the edge of the ring. She proceeded with the Dirty Dozen, smashing Victoria’s face against the edge of the ring twelve times before leaping off to hit Victoria with a facebuster onto the steel chair.
Sandman counted, and Victoria got up at 9. ODB shook her head in disbelief, and advanced on Victoria with a chop. Victoria quickly grabbed ODB’s hand and yanked her into a hammerlock, before quickly dropping down with a rear mat slam onto the chair. Victoria used the ring to pull herself up, and picked up ODB. She ran to the guardrail and dropped ODB on it with a snake eyes. ODB collapsed onto her back. Victoria climbed onto the guardrail and leapt off, hitting ODB with a moonsault. Sandman began to count, but Victoria realized ODB would get up in time. Victoria yanked ODB up and hit her with a Widow’s Peak.
Sandman began to count, and Victoria walked to the ring, reaching under to find something. She pulled out a Singapore cane and showed it to Sandman, smiling. Sandman shook his head and smirked. ODB got to her feet, and Victoria advanced with the Singapore cane. Victoria swung, and ODB ducked under it. ODB grabbed the Singapore cane and yanked it from Victoria’s hand. She prepared to hit Victoria with it, but Victoria connected with a superkick. ODB hit the ground. Victoria grabbed the kendo stuck, put it under ODB’s chin, and flipped forward into a modified bridging reverse chinlock, with the Singapore cane across ODB’s throat. Victoria held it for a full minute before letting go.
Sandman counted, and ODB got up at 9. Victoria screamed in frustration and tossed the Singapore cane aside. She walked to the ring and reached under it, eventually pulling out a two-by-four wrapped in barbed wire. She turned, and ODB suddenly struck her with a spear. Sandman counted, and both girls got up at 7. They exchanged weak rights, staggering each other briefly with each one. Victoria got the better of ODB and pushed her to the announce table. She grabbed ODB and Irish whipped her to the side of the ring. Victoria slowly advanced, and ODB suddenly grabbed her. She lifted Victoria up, and slammed her right through the announce table with a running powerslam.
ODB crawled back into the ring as Sandman made the count. The count made it to 10, and Victoria didn’t move.
Lilian: Here is your winner, and new WWR Revolutionary Champion, ODB!!
ODB dropped to her knees, grabbed her flask, and drank.
Cole: That was one of the most brutal matches I’ve ever seen!
Victoria: SHUT UP!
Victoria slowly pulled herself up and climbed into the ring. ODB turned to face her, title belt in hand. Victoria approached, about to say something, when Sandman suddenly hit her with a White Russian Legsweep. Sandman got up, grabbed ODB’s flask, and poured the remainder on Victoria’s head, to the crowd’s delight.
Sharmell: Haha!
Cole: This is not proper referee behavior!
Sharmell: That’s what’s so great about it! This is probably what every ref secretly wants to do!
Cole: I should hope not! Sandman is not the EveryRef! Anyway, ODB is our new Revolutionary Champion!
Sandman mocked ODB’s OOOHHH motion and beckoned her to do it. ODB gave a weak OOOHHH, and Sandman laughed and raised her hand in victory.
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Gail Kim, Krystal along with the mic, wandered the halls looking for Beth Phoenix. After a minute, she found Beth. Beth stopped and stared at Gail.
Gail: …
Beth: …just stay out of the ring tonight. <walks off>
Gail: …what’s it gonna take?
Krystal: <shrugs>
Gail and Krystal noticed Salinas, Roxxi Laveaux, Daizee Haze, and Portia Perez standing on the other end of the room, facing away. Gail walked up to them just as ODB and Sandman came through the door in front of them. ODB and Sandman stopped and stared at everyone. Salinas, Roxxi, Daizee, and Portia began to clap, and Gail quickly followed. Sandman grinned, stepped out to join the group, and clapped.
ODB: …OOOHHH!
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Cole: A standing ovation for our new Revolutionary Champion, ODB. One she certainly deserves.
Sharmell: That’s for damn sure. And those stagehands can rebuild tables quickly too.
Cole: I’ll be sure to run it by those girls to clap for them too.
Sharmell: Well, it’s main event time!
Cole: That’s right! The WWR World Championship is on the line now, Beth Phoenix taking on Awesome Kong!
Sharmell: I can’t believe Beth keeps refusing Gail Kim’s help. If you ask me, she’s about to walk into a huge defeat that Gail could have helped her avoid.
Cole: I disagree. Gail Kim needed to help to beat Kong, and if you ask me, Beth is much more likely to bump Kong off than Gail.
Sharmell: Well we’ll just see then, won’t we?!
Cole: Yes we will!
Lilian: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the WWR World Championship! Introducing first, from Buffalo, New York, weighing 150 pounds, Beth Phoenix, the Glamazon! And her opponent, accompanied by Raisha Saeed, from Japan, weighing 272 pounds, she is the current WWR World Champion, Awesome Kong!
World Championship Match
Awesome Kong vs. Beth Phoenix
Beth and Kong met in the center of the ring. Kong shoved Beth away. Beth smirked, nodded, fixed a displaced hair, and shoved Kong away. Kong ran for Beth and locked her in a grapple, then shoved her away. Beth came back, grabbed Kong’s hands, pushed her wrists back for a second, then shoved her away. Beth charged, and Kong hit her with a hard right. Beth stumbled backwards. Kong charged, and Beth connected with a right of her own. Kong stood in place. Beth knocked Kong back with more rights, then tried to Irish whip her, but Kong remained planted. Kong Irish whipped Beth into the corner and charged for a splash. Beth dove out of the way, spun around, and ran to hit Kong with a high elbow. Beth continued to hammer Kong with strikes until the ref pulled her away.
Beth backed up a couple of steps, then charged again. Kong hit her with a Samoan drop, and covered for one. Beth sprung to her feet, grabbed Kong, and yanked her up. Beth tried to smash Kong’s face into the turnbuckle, but Kong held on to the ropes. Beth pulled Kong back and tried again, and Kong grabbed the ropes. Beth let go of Kong and simply clubbed her in the back of the head. Kong knocked Beth back with an elbow. Kong charged for a lariat, and Beth ducked under it. Beth spun around and connected with another club to the back of the head. Beth grabbed Kong and tried to Irish whip her, but Kong remained in place. Beth tried again, and Kong reversed it, sending her to the ropes. Beth charged and hit a flying elbow, staggering Kong. Beth ran back to the ropes and went for another, but Kong simply thrust herself forward, knocking Beth to the mat.
Kong reached down and grabbed Beth, and grabbed her by the throat with both hands. Beth grabbed at Kong’s wrists for a second, then thrust out and grabbed Kong by the throat. They pushed each other back and forth. Kong reached down suddenly and picked Beth up in a gorilla press, and threw her across the ring. Beth bounced and rolled out of the ring, hitting the floor. Beth got to her feet, grabbed the ropes, and pulled herself onto the skirt. Raisha came up behind her and grabbed her ankle, trying to pull her down. Beth looked down and kicked Raisha hard in the face, knocking her down. Beth turned back to the ring, and Kong grabbed her by the throat with both hands. Beth clawed at Kong’s hands, then grabbed her head and jumped off the apron, snapping Kong’s throat against the top rope.
Beth slid into the ring and charged, only to run into a spinning backfist from Kong. Kong ran backwards to bounce off the ropes, then charged for a big splash. Beth rolled out of the way. Beth got up and ran to kick Kong’s head, but Kong grabbed her foot and threw it back. Kong got up onto both knees, and Beth advanced, grabbing her by the throat with both hands. Kong knocked Beth away with a punch to the gut, and got to her feet. Beth charged, and Kong dropped her with a spinebuster. Kong covered for two. Kong got up, pulled Beth up, and Irish whipped her across the ring. Beth bounced off and ran into a huge clothesline, spinning her in the air before she hit the mat. Kong walked over to her and hit her with a splash. She covered for two.
Kong got up, yanked Beth up, and hit her with an Awesome Bomb. Kong covered, and Beth got a shoulder up at the last moment. Raisha screamed in protest, and Kong breathed hard in rage. Kong got up and climbed the turnbuckles. She leapt off to go for an Amazing Press. Beth rolled out of the way and Kong hit the mat hard. Beth crawled to the ropes and pulled herself up on them. Kong slowly got to her feet. Beth charged and hit her with a double axe handle blow to the chest. Kong staggered back. Beth went to Irish whip Kong, and Kong reversed it. Beth wrapped her arms around the top rope to stop herself. Kong charged, and Beth got her feet up, connecting with Kong’s face. Kong stumbled back to the center of the ring, and charged again. Beth advanced, and dropped Kong with a side slam. Beth crawled away, and got to her feet. She walked behind Kong, who had just sat up. Beth grabbed Kong’s hands and pulled them back, while pushing on her back with a knee. “COME ON!!” Beth screamed, Kong showing visible pain. Finally Beth just let go, and got to her feet. Kong slowly got up, and Beth laboriously hit her with a scoop slam.
Beth stumbled to the ropes, wiping the sweat from her face. Suddenly, Raisha jumped onto the ring apron and put Kong in a rear naked choke. The ref didn’t notice in time, as Beth quickly snapmared Raisha into the ring and hit a hard punch to the back of her head. Raisha hit the mat, unconscious. Beth grabbed her, yanked her up, and slammed her down with a Fisherman’s suplex. Beth got up, turned to Kong, and was hit with a hard lariat. Kong, foaming at the mouth in fury, grabbed Beth and hit her with an Awesome Bomb. Kong covered and got the three count.
Lilian: Here is your winner, and still WWR World Champion, Awesome Kong!
Kong picked Beth up in a gorilla press and threw her in front of the announce table. She then helped Raisha up and began to walk to the back.
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Gail Kim defeated Christy Hemme, Jacqueline, Rain, Salinas, and Traci Brooks in a Key to the Mint Match
- Gail unlocked the chest and grabbed the contract to win.
The Beautiful People (Angelina Love and Velvet Sky) defeated The Barbie Crushers (Daizee Haze and Portia Perez)
- Angelina pinned Portia with a roll up, while grabbing the ropes.
Roxxi Laveaux defeated Melina to retain the WWR North American Championship.
- Roxxi pinned Melina after a Voodoo Drop.
ODB defeated Victoria in a Last Woman Standing Match (w/ Sandman as special guest referee) to win the WWR Revolutionary Championship.
- Victoria failed to answer a 10 count after ODB hit her with a running powerslam through the announce table.
Awesome Kong defeated Beth Phoenix to retain the WWE World Championship.
- Kong pinned Beth after an Awesome Bomb.
- Raisha Saeed interfered on Kong’s behalf.
