Christmas is over, I ain't doing nothing except getting lit off this Henny. SO LETS GO!

gifs.....

 

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
WWE United States Champion: Big Show
WWE Tag Team Champions: The Basham Brothers
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Tajiri

WWE Smackdown
January 1st, 2004
Laredo, Texas

Video recap of 2 weeks ago with Holly beating Morgan and A-Train, not only saving his job but giving him a future WWE championship match against. Brock.

Brock/Holly @ The Rumble

WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Rey Mysterio vs. Tajiri (w/Sakoda & Akio)
So this is really fun and is a great way to start off the year, mat work is a good time. So is Tajiri targeting Rey's knee but the problem with that is Rey uses his legs for all his stuff so he doesn't sell it like at all during his comeback. Rey goes for the 619 but Akio distracts the ref allowing Sakoda to catch Rey during the 619 and dumping him to the floor. Tajiri keeps going back to the knee and logically speaking its smart and for the most part Rey begins selling. Rey's comeback is good but it's not as clean and crisp as I've seen both men do in the past. Tajiri's kicks even look and sound off. Both men begin going back and forth trying to end it with a big move but it keeps getting countered. Tajiri hits the running Ligerbomb for two, then about a minute later Rey hits the 619 but misses the West Coast Pop. Tajiri then accidentally sprays the mist in Akio's eyes and Rey takes out Sakoda. Which allows Rey to hit a 'rana with roll through pin for the win. ***

Michael Cole enters the ring, Rey says his new year's resolution was to win the title. And he did it. Rey then says something in Spanish. Suddenly, the Big Show comes out. Show says he has more important things to talk about................HIS NEW "CHICKS DIG IT BIG" t-shirt. Rey takes the shirt and throws it to the fans, so Show beats him up until Hardcore makes the save.

The classic don't try this at home commercial airs

Backstage: Show is upset so he begins wrecking the backstage area. Heyman then rushes over and tells him to calm down, Heyman then makes Show vs. Holly tonight.

Bradshaw vs. Rhyno
Fine, not as hate-filled or violent like I know it can be. Rhyno is pretty washed and Bradshaw hasn't found his golden ticket yet. Only 4-5 months away Both men go back and forth doing a whole bunch of nothing until Bradshaw hits the clothesline from hell for the win. *1/2

Earlier Today: Eddie and Chavo took part in some sort of low rider party thing.

Tribute to the Troops tribute video package.

Backstage: Paul Heyman says it was an honor to part of..................Suddenly Cena cuts him off and says he was over in Iraq NOT him. Cena says he sees through all of Heymans lies and calls him a big fat coward. Heyman says he's a leader, Heyman then brings up the Rumble and says Cena isn't in it.................BUT he can if he wins his match tonight. It will be John Cena and ?? vs. The FBI. And that match is NEXT!

FBI are already in the ring when Cena comes out. He RAPs about how the FBI are stupid AF, and they are not full blooded they are FULL OF SHIT! The I stands for I'm gonna kick your ass....................AND HIS PARTNER IS CHRIS BENOIT!

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: The F.B.I. vs. John Cena & Chris Benoit
This is fine, kinda weird tho as the FBI heat segment happens almost immediately. Chuck is clearly the best wrestler in the FBI so thankfully he leads the majority of the heat with power moves and somewhat good looking holds wearing Cena down. Cena's bumping in this is really good. I love that Benoit has nothing to lose so he kept breaking up pins or just trying to go after the FBI for all the shit they've done to him in late 2003. Benoit's hot tag rules as usual. Nasty chops, Germans. He hits the Diving Headbutt on Johnny the bull but only gets two. The match breaks down, and Cena takes out Nunzio and Chuck which allows Benoit to lock in the crossface for the win. **3/4

Kurt Angle makes his return I wanna since Survivor Series? I don't remember. Kurt has a mic and says, it's much as he liked spending time with his family, it's good to be back. He says he watched TTT last week and thanks all the troops. He says he went 3 weeks ago and he was overwhelmed by it all. Kurt then tells a story of some 22-year-old soldier, he says he has a new years resolution of his own. It's to enter the Royal Rumble and to win it. He dedicates this to the TROOPS!~!~!~

The Big Show vs. Hardcore Holly
TRASH! Holly is so shit, his tough guy gimmick is bad. Everything about him sucks. THE WRONG HOLLY DIED! YEAH, I SAID IT! Rey came down with a chair, but Show punched it back into his face. He tries to Chokeslam Holly, but Holly kicks Show in the dick for a DQ. Cause that's what babyfaces do? After the match; Hardcore grabs the chair and FUCKING murders Show with a chair shots busting him open.

Billy Gunn RETURNS at the Royal Rumble

Backstage: Dawn Marie is with Paul Heymen when Benoit busts in laughing. Benoit says he will win the Royal Rumble and WWE Champion. Heyman says its time for them to talk. Heyman says Benoit is nothing more than a working grunt for people like him in management. He says he'll always get stopped...by injury, by fate, and now, by management. People like Benoit get stopped by people like him. Benoit takes time away from his family to try and be #1. WELL, YOU FINALLY GET TO BE NUMBER #1.................NUMBER ONE IN THE ROYAL RUMBLE. Benoit grabs him and says he understands him all his sacrifices will, will him to victory.

Backstage: Rey is celebrating with Funaki, OJ, Shannon Moore and JBL. What a party when Eddie walks over. He congratulates Rey on his win. Chavo looks salty in the corner as Eddie says maybe he should enter the Rumble to get some gold of his own. Chavo says they need to talk. He pulls Eddie to the side and bitches at him for being selfish. He tells Eddie to forget about the Rumble they have a match tonight. La Razza.

Los Guerrero's vs. The Self-Proclaimed World's Greatest Tag Team
Super short at like 6 minutes, but still good as all 4 have their chemistry down. It's also an angle match so they don't go all out but they accomplished what they wanted to. Chavo refuses to tag even when he has the chance, he does it 3 or 4 times before Eddie has enough. He suckers Shelton in so the ref is distracted, so Eddie pulls Chavo into his own corner and tags in. Eddie has this amazing hot tag, as the match breaks down, Chavo tags himself back in. Chavo goes for a Frog Splash but misses which allows Shelton to sneak in a sick superkick and Hass covers for the win.

Chavo grabs the mic, he blames Eddie for this loss. He says he's worked just as hard as Eddie for this team, but it's always "EDDIE! EDDIE! EDDIE! EDDIE!" Where are the Chavo chants? He says he's sick of it and is sick of YOU! He slaps Eddie and Eddie has this amazing, heartbroken-disbelief-angry facial reaction. He turns to try and attack Chavo, but Kurt Angle runs down and holds him back. Kurt tries to play peacemaker, and Chavo leaves.

Backstage: Eddie and Kurt in the locker room, Kurt tries to get Eddie to calm down and Eddie is raging. Kurt says he entered the Rumble for his country but Eddie wants to do it because he's selfish. Eddie says he knows nothing about him. Kurt tells him to go look into the mirror that person is to blame.

At ringside: Cole and Taz talk about what just happen.......................AND THE SHOW ENDS! WAT

 

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Randy Orton
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Ric Flair & Batista
WWE Women's Champion: Molly Holly

WWE Monday Night RAW
January 5th, 2004
Memphis, Tennessee

Backstage: Eric rants to Coach about Austin being back and is the Sheriff of RAW. Theodore Long and Mark Henry come in Mark says he's cashing in on his Survivor Series favor. Teddy says Marks wants Teddy to be GM for the night so the people can see how a black man does in power, Eric rants about why that's a bad idea, but stop when he gets to Austin running around, and says Long can be GM for the night. Long says he doesn't sweat Austin, since he's got the World's Strongest Man, and Eric leaves. IT BEGINS!

Tonight: Flair/Batista vs. Dudleyz

GM Theodore Long comes down to the ring and gets on the mic, he says the only reason people are BOOOO'ing him is because they can't accept the fact that a black man is in power. He says all white people are racist and says the black mayor of Memphis isn't really black because the city would not be overcome with illiteracy, poverty, and crime. Jerry Lawer interrupts and says this is his hometown and will not allow him to run it down. He leaves the booth and comes down to the ring. He gets into the ring, and Long backs up. Randy Orton runs down though and hits Lawler with the RKO..................ANOTHER LEGEND KILLED! Even though King champions Orton every night. Okay. Raw off on some fuckery 7 minutes in.

Backstage: Orton brags about dropping another Legend, he says just wait till he sees what he does to Foley. Mark walks over and demands Long give him a title match. Orton says he just helped him. Long says he did it for himself and not the cause. So the match is booked. They leave and bump into Austin, Austin says he heard about his little match and says RVD deserves the title match more. Long says the match is already made. So Austin changes it to Mark vs. RVD and the winner will face Orton next week.

Coach comes out to replace Lawler on commentary.

Rene Dupree vs. Spike Dudley
This is Spikes' return since almost getting killed when La Faggots fucked up a double spinebuster and the back of Spikes' head hit the table. This was bad, way too much Rene like 90% but at least Spike still bumps like a madman. Spike wins with a rollup. So yeah. After the match; Bubba and D-Von come out and lift Spike on their shoulders in celebration on the ramp, but Batista and Flair run out to knock them over before putting the boots to them.

Backstage: Christian and Jericho talk about all the stuff they've been through the past couple of weeks. They apologize and reminisce about all the stuff they've been through. Christian says he talked to Long, and there's a tag match open if they want it. Jericho says he's in, and this show needs an injection of Vitamin C and C-MEN.

Video highlights of the Shawn/HHH match from last week.

Lawer makes his way out and tries to kick coach out, but Long comes out and says he will NOT get rid of the black man. He says we will now have a 3 man booth. and if he doesn't like it he has no problem FIRING him in his own hometown.

Chris Jericho & Christian vs. The Hurricane & Rosey
This is fine, the C-Men isolate Hurricane for the majority. Rosey's hot tag is pretty meh, outside him rolling under the double clothesline into one of his own. The match ends when Christian hits the unpreittier on Rosey for the win.

Steven Richards (w/Victoria) vs. Test
TRASH! But fuck that, Stevie wins so TEST boots Victoria in the face. FUCK YEAH!

Stone Cold Steve Austin comes down to the ring and gets on the mic. He says last week he told the world there's a new sheriff in town and his name is Stone Cold, he also told the world Shawn Michaels deserves a rematch so at the Royal Rumble................Suddenly, Triple H comes out. He asks if Austin lost his mind? he says all the beer must be killing his brain cells. Triple H makes sheriff jokes towards Austin so Austin flips him off. Austin asks he's finished wasting his time, yes the badge on his chest means he does what he wants. He says Shawn had him pinned, had him beat and Shawn should be champion. Triple H says he has beat any and everyone they put in his path. And as far as he's concerned he and Michaels are done. Shawn Michaels then comes out, he says he wants to see Triple H prove he is the greatest just one more time. Austin then makes the rematch at the Royal Rumble. Austin leaves and they stare each other down, Austin stops to say it's also a Last Man Standing match. Hunter cheap shots him and hits the Pedigrees.

Molly Holly comes out for her title match. Molly says Victoria can't compete tonight so................Suddenly, Long appears on the tron and says he loves seeing white girls beat the hell out of one another so Molly will have a match tonight.

Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus
Goes about 2 minutes until Jazz makes her return by attack Trish for the DQ. She throws Molly to the floor and keeps beating on Trish until Jericho makes the save.

#1 Contender's Match For the Intercontinental Championship: Rob Van Dan vs. Mark Henry (w/GM Theodore R. Long)
About 2 minutes, until Mark hits RVD in the head for the DQ. Long gets on the mic and restarts the match making it a NoDQ match. AUSTIN COMES OUT AND DEBUTS THE ATV ENTRANCE!!!!!! he chases Long to the back as the match continues. Mark is really good here, really brutal as he's one of the few people that make the bear hug look brutal. RVD is super botchy and sloppy tonight but he hits the Van Daminator and the 5-Star Frogsplash for the win. **

Austin chases Long back out, he gets off the ATV and rolls Long into the ring where he hits a stunner and drinks beer to celebrate a BLACK MAN GOING DOWN AT THE HANDS OF THE LAW!

Backstage: Jericho is banging on Trish's locker room door. He says if she won't open he's coming in. He hears the shower and instead of leaving, he begins simping talking about how this was all a joke, but the joke was on him because he really fell for her. He says he wouldn't blame her if she hates him forever and never talks to him again, but he had to say it. Mae Young comes out in a towel and flashes him so Jericho flees in horror.

KANE comes down to the ring, he says he has never won the Royal Rumble and that angers him. He should have won every Rumble he's been in. Last year, he made the mistake of trusting his brother. But that will never happen again. MY BROTHER IS GONE! I buried him alive, he says Booker T got his title shot at Mania so that's why he attacked him. He says he will take his rightful place in the main event of WrestleMania and nobody will stop him. Booker then runs out and low blows him, he cleans the ring of KANE and says nobody makes an example out of him and he too will be in the rumble. And he has 2 goals, 1, throw KANE's ugly ass out of the rumble and 2, win the rumble.

WWE ORIGINALS CD IN STORES JANUARY 13TH

WWE World Tag Team Championships: Ric Flair & Batista vs. The Dudley Boyz
Out of all the matches tonight, this one gets the most time smh. Flair isn't really trying, Dave isn't their yet and the Dudleyz been washed since 2002 everyone just going through the motions. Evolution work over Bubba's knee, but commentary pretty much bicker for 90% of the match, Bubba's selling is dope though. It's the only highlight. D-Von's hot tag is pretty meh, the match breaks down and the Dudleyz hit 3D but Triple H runs out to distract the ref. Batista hits D-Von with the Batista Bomb, and Flair puts his arm on top to retain. After the match; Triple H picks up FLair, but Shawn runs out and superkicks Hunter to end the show. *1/2 - *3/4

 

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
WWE United States Champion: Big Show
WWE Tag Team Champions: The Basham Brothers
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio

WWE Smackdown
January 8th, 2004
Huntsville, Alabama

Tonight: Show/Holly in a Street Fight

Kurt Angle comes down to the ring and gets on the mic, he says last week was supposed to be a perfect way to start the new year, but something left a bitter taste in his mouth. And he knows this is none of his business but he can't/won't let one of the best tag teams in WWE history come to an end. Kurt calls Chavo out, who comes out to his own music. He says he knows he said it was Eddie's fault last week but he is also to blame when he slapped Eddie. He asks Chavo to make a public apology but Chavo says why? all he's doing is holding his family together, what he did was tough love. He says he will not apologize and if Eddie was here he would slap him even harder just like he's thinking of doing to him. IT'S TRUE! Kurt says he didn't bring him out to fight, but to do the right thing. Eddie comes out and goes after Chavo but Kurt holds him back. Kurt again gets Eddie calm down and begins talking about family. He tells Chavo to get in the ring and face his uncle like a man, he gets both men to make peace and Chavo extends his hand, Eddie is slow and reluctant but ends up shaking his hand.

Backstage: Josh Mathews is with the Big Show, he asks why Show asked for this match. Show says he doesn't get it. Last week Holly busted him open. He wants revenge and he will take HARDCORE OUT!

Chris Benoit comes out for his match, but Heyman interrupts. He says last week Benoit pulled one over on him so tonight we will have a mini-rumble and Benoit will face the FBI. It just like every rumble after every 2 minutes a new FBI member comes out. Unlike the Rumble it's not everyone for themselves it's everyone against Chris Benoit.

Mini-Royal Rumble: Chris Benoit vs. The F.B.I.
Johnny, the Bull is out first, it's okay, both men stiff the fuck out of one another with strikes inbetween trying to lift one another over the top. First 2 minutes is up and Chucky is out next. Kinda weird that we never just got 2-1 as for a minute it was either Benoit/Bull or Benoit/Chuck. Anyway, Benoit eliminates the Bull by front suplexing him on the top rope then dropkicking the legs from under him. Benoit and Chuck have a real fun minute interaction until Nunzio comes out and now we get the 2-1. Nunzio holds the top rope for Chuck but Benoit slides out and shoves Chuck over but he hangs on, Nunzio then tries to help him so Benoit throws Nunzio over eliminating him. Chuck and Benoit continue to have more goodness and Benoit throws Chuck out for the win.

Scotty II Hotty and Rikishi make their way down to the ring, but the Bashams' attack them coming through the crowd. They lay them out and the bell is never rung so no match. YAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Suddenly, Kurt comes out and say he and Heyman came to an agreement that Smackdown advertised a tag title match, so that's whats gonna happen. Tonight it will be the Bashams vs. Los Guerreros. Wait so is Kurt now GM advisor? why is he announcing the match? Also, kayfabe shouldn't WGTT get the match first as they beat the Guerrero's last week?

WWE Tag Team Championships: The Basham Brothers (w/Shaniqua) vs. Los Guerrero's
Guerrero's carry job, they're on the same page so we get all the vintage cheating and crisp offense. Eddie is on. so the Guerrero's dominate for the first 4 minutes or so, but Shaniqua has had enough she distracts the ref which allows one of the Basham's to pull down the top rope and Eddie falls to the floor as we go to a commercial. When we return, the Bashams isolate Eddie working the lower back. The Bashams may be trash but their heel tag team 101 offense was good here along with some of the false hope cut off spots were great. The built up everytime you think Eddie is gonna tag Chavo in they cut him off at the split last second, which makes Chavo's pop for the hot tag so much better. Chavo even has a good hot tag, as the match breaks down as Chavo goes for a sunset flip Danny grabs the middle rope and Shaniqua holds him down and the ref counts the three. ***

After the match; The Bashams' attack Eddie as Chavo grabs a chair, but instead of helping Chavo takes a seat and watches on. They lock in a double half Boston crab for a minute, he watches on with this conflicted/enjoyment facial expression until they leave. Chavo then enters the ring and helps Eddie up.............................BUT PUNCHES HIM DOWN! Chavo then gets the full mount position and begins raining down with punches. Eddie is busted open above the eye and it is pouring out blood. Chavo keeps looking at the blood on his hands and the sight of that keeps driving Chavo to do even more. Like, kick Eddie directly in the open wound before leaving. BUT NOT JUST LEAVING HE DRIVES AWAY IN EDDIE OWN LOW RIDER.

Eddie is on the mat, damn near in tears yells at the refs "WHY WOULD HE DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT" AMAZING ANGLE!

A-Train vs. John Cena
So this is good but really short, Cena bumping continues to rule and Train is super violent on offense. Cena then hits the FU pretty much out of nowhere for the win.

Backstage: Eddie is getting the blood wiped off but the doctors when Kurt comes over, he says he feels responsible for what happen and he should never have stuck his nose in his business. Eddie is trying to hold in the rage but Kurt keeps talking and says he's sorry. Eddie then breaks down

Rey Mysterio vs. Akio (w/Sakoda)
Really good spotfest both men hit some really great looking moves, Rey hitting this awesome looking X-Factor and Akio powerbombing Rey onto the top rope. Both men go back and forth hitting moves and high impact stuff. Rey hits a double 619 on both Akio and Sakoda before hitting the west coast pop for the win. **3/4

Best of Billy Gunn

Backstage: Josh Mathews is with Hardcore, Holly says show maybe the US champion but he's not that smart. He says a street fight is his game and he's playing it in his backyard.

Backstage: Nidia is trying to phone Jamie but can't get through, suddenly Heyman comes over and says Jamie has a match up next but can't he can't see him. Business is business and if Jamie can't make it he will have to find a replacement. THAT REPLACEMENT WILL BE HER!

WrestleMania Recall: LT vs. Bam Bam.

Number #1 Contendership for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Tajiri vs. Nidia
Tajiri fucks with her for a few seconds before hitting a Russian leg sweep for the win. After the match; Tajiri sizes Nidia up for a headkick but Rey makes the save. Rey then helps Nidia out of the ring, and Jamie runs down and attacks Rey to helping his girl. YEAH!

Brock Lesnar comes down to the ring and takes a seat on commentary.

Street Fight: Big Show vs. Hardcore Holly
About 6 minutes tons of weapons shots, Hardcore sprays mase in Shows' eyes, before low blowing him, nailing him in the head with a chair and locking it around Show's neck choking Show out. Top babyface ya'll.

 

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Randy Orton
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Ric Flair & Batista
WWE Women's Champion: Molly Holly

WWE Monday Night RAW
January 12th, 2004
Nassau Coliseum: Long Island, New York

Tonight: RVD/Orton, Kane/Booker T & Coach interviews both Triple H and Shawn Michaels in the ring.

Coachman joins commentary again.

Trish Stratus & Lita vs. Jazz & Molly Holly (w/Theodore R. Long)
Jazz and Trish brawl right off the bat which leaves Molly and Lita to start, they do stuff for 40 seconds or so before Jazz tags in. Heels iso Lita and its okay, they work over her arm to which Lita sells really well for the most part. Trish's hot tag is cool, nothing special. The match breaks down and Long throws his jacket in Trish's face which allows Jazz to rollup Jazz using the tights. *3/4

After the match; the heels beat down Trish until Jericho makes the save again. He tries to lock on walls on, on Long until Mark Henry comes down for the save and beats down Jericho.

Matt Hardy is in the ring, he says all his life people have tried to steal his spotlight. Jeff, Lita but now Austin. He says he hasn't been on TV since Austin has been back. Shame on management and shame on you ignorant fans. He says he came here for some action and to kicks ass. Suddenly, Austin's music hits and out comes Stone Cold with ATV. Austin says didn't come back to be a co-GM he came to be the LAW! He says Matt is breaking the law by pissing, moaning, crying, but tonight is Matt's lucky night if he wants action Austin is here right in front of him. Matt says yeah he wants action just not with him, he says the whole reason Matt came to raw was for new opponents. Austin says that's not only a bold display of being a coward, but he should write him a ticket for impersonating a wrestler. He calls out anyone from the back that's never fought Matt..............................BILL GOLDBERG COMES OUT,

Matt Hardy vs. Goldberg
Dope little match, Matt has some great looking punches and Goldberg's power moves rule as usual. nasty looking Spear/Jackhammer ends it. After the match; Goldberg grabs the mic and says he's back and is entering himself into the Royal Rumble. **

​

Backstage: Eric is pissed that Austin brought back Goldberg after he "deactivated" him. Austin says Eric didn't do all the legal procedures so Goldberg is back. Eric says he talked to the board of directors and Austin can no longer make matches but he will allow the Last Man Standing match to happen. Austin says he doesn't want Eric's job but Eric better start doing his job or he will whop his ass.

Backstage: Orton says he would like to address an individual that lives 15 minutes away from the arena. A man that ran away from a fight against him. Mick Foley, Orton has a ticket in his hand and says he got it for Foley. He says this is Foley's chance to show he is not a coward. But if Foley does show up and he will finish what he started, right after he beats RVD. TONIGHT!

D-Von Dudley (w/Bubba Ray Dudley) vs. Batista (w/Ric Flair)
Fine, i guess, Coach, JR, and Lawler argue amongst themselves for the whole time. Batista wins after hitting the Batista bomb. After the match; Flair brings in a table but Bubba runs off Batista and Flair.

Randy Orton is now in the parking lot, he says he has even got Foley a limo so he has no excuses NOT to come to the arena. He says he's doing this for Mick and tells him to get his best flannel, come to the arena, and fight him instead of going down in wrestling history as a coward.

Backstage: Teddy Long is with Mark and Jazz, he calls Eric a cracker for setting him up last week. He goes over last weeks events but says Eric made a match for tonight, Mark vs. Jericho.

Backstage: Scotty Steiner says Goldberg can't beat him, which means he won't win the rumble which means HE will be winning. Goldberg says why wait lets do it tonight. Scotty says Goldberg already wrestled once he wants him at 100% SO NEXT WEEK Goldberg says HE'S NEXT!

Coachman is in the ring and brings out Triple H and Shawn Michaels. Coach asks Shawn about 1997 and DX, Shawn says are we really gonna start with this. Trips says he considered Shawn as a brother but Shawn only saw him as a sidekick. Shawn says he always treated him as an equal and with respect. Hunter calls BS and says Shawn looked at him as a footstool. Shawn says he carried the wagon all by himself but when he broke down and couldn't carry the wagon Triple H took the wagon. Triple says BULLSHIT! HE'S BEEN CARRYING THE WAGON THE WHOLE TIME! And when Shawn wasn't in the way, people saw who was doing all the real work. Triple H says it was burning a hole in Shawn's chest watching him carry the wagon, Shawn says it did and that wasn't the reason he came back its reasons he would never understand. Shawn brings up after 4 years in this building he was still the better man, Triple H says yeah but who walked out and who left in the ambulance. I WAS THE LAST MAN STANDING THAT NIGHT, AND AT THE RUMBLE I WILL BE THE LAST MAN STANDING AGAIN. Triple H says this isn't about the past it's about who is the best. Hunter says he has seen them all, either been in the ring or studied them he says Shawn is at the top of that list and Shawn is/was at the best of the best but now he's THE BEST! Triple H says it will come down to one second, one second could win it or lose it. Shawn says so it goes they have reached that level, one second could last an eternity, but in reality, it's here (Shawn Superkicks Coach) and says its gone the next. FACEOFF!

Booker T vs. Kane
Like 2 minutes of nothing, Kane is DQ'ed after throwing Booker into the steel steps SMH! After the match; Kane continues to beat on Booker before hitting a tombstone.

Mark Henry (w/Theodore R. Long & Jazz) vs. Chris Jericho
Really good as Jericho is gearing up for his babyface run so he's busting out all his highflying 2000/2001 offense and Mark just takes them. Mark's slow methodical offense works as he throws Jericho around like a small child and Jericho's bumping and selling is tremendous. Mark works the back and again makes the bear hug look deadly along with stretching Jericho's back over his knee. Jericho's comeback is good he keeps going to Mark's knee breaking him down for the wall's. Jazz interferes, but Trish runs out to even the odds. Jericho finally locks in the walls but the women are now brawling in the ring so the ref doesn't see the tap. Jericho breaks the hold thinking he won. But the ref says no, to which Jericho walks into a worlds largest slam from mark and he covers for the win. **3/4

Backstage: Christian asks where the hell is Jericho's head at? He says Trish is playing with his head and now is making him lose matches. Christian says he's not saying it to be rude, he's saying because he's his best friend. Now get you stuff lets leave and find some women at the hotel. They leave and Trish walks into Jericho's locker room.

In the parking lot; Orton says he can feel Foley on his way, and RVD is no problem. Triple H says they have his back no matter what. Autin comes over on his ATV and says if they plan on helping Orton he will run them over. Hunter calls BS, so Austin chases them off before doing donuts.

WWE Intercontinental Championship: Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam
Really good match and good showing by both, RVD isn't sloppy or botch heavy as he's been doing and Orton is finally getting it and is awesome at bumping and on offense. He takes a nasty thud bump on the ringpost busting him open 4 minutes in. RVD is like a shark and stays on the attack. WE CUT BACKSTAGE OF A LIMO PULLING UP! As we go to a commercial. When we return Orton is in control now, very brutal stuff by Orton his uppercuts, forearms, punches everything looks nasty and to give RVD credit even though his what he does best his bumping is top notch especially the bump onto the barricades. Foley never shows up at all during the match, and Orton's rest holds/submissions also look vicious it's extra vicious. JR and King play it off as Orton being busted open for the first time and now he wants to do it to RVD. That goes on for a few minutes before RVD a nice comeback until he fucks up the middle rope thrust kick, the finishing stretch is AWESOME! Good series of near falls by both men. The ref gets hit by an RVD spin kick so Orton low blows RVD and hits the neck/backbreaker. Orton pulls and Eddie and fakes being down TRYING TO GET DOUBLE COUNTED OUT But he sees RVD making it to his feet and tries an RKO but RVD kicks him in the face. RVD then goes for the Five Star but Orton shoves him and crotches him on the top rope. Orton then hits this fuckin nasty elevated DDT for the win. After the match; Triple H comes out and celebrates with Orton showing him Foley never came to the arena. ***1/4

​

 

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
WWE United States Champion: Big Show
WWE Tag Team Champions: The Basham Brothers
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio

WWE Smackdown
January 15th, 2004
Uncasville, Connecticut

Paul Heyman is in the ring, he says seeing how only 15 Smackdown guys can make it to the Royal Rumble tonight we will have some Rumble qualifying matches. John Cena comes out, he says he's sick of hearing his voice and says he would rather hear the people say he sucks. Cena starts making farting and shit sounds before saying he will make Heyman bounce like an ECW cheque. Cena picks up Heymen in an FU position but Rhyno comes through the crowd and attacks Cena before hitting him with a GORE! GORE! GORE! Heyman makes Cena vs. Rhyno TONIGHT!

Rey Mysterio joins commentary.

Number #1 Contendership for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Jamie Noble (w/Nadia) vs. Tajiri (w/Sakoda & Akio)
Super shot but really good. Tajiri works over Noble's back with kicks and stuff but Noble doesn't sell it, instead, he goes all redneck and starts hitting these dope running knees to Tajiri's head. Noble goes for the Tiger Driver but Akio grabs Nadia which forces Noble to drop the hold. Rey goes to help. but Noble throws him into the barricades, Tajiri then goes for a plancha but Noble pulls Nidia in front of him and she gets taken out. Noble rolls Tajiri back in and hits the Gibson Driver for the win. **1/2

Paul Heyman comes back and says tonight is a night that Cena will never forget, he says he is sick of Cena's foul mouth. He blames Cena for corrupting the youth. So tonight it will be Cena vs. Rhyno, and when Rhyno beats Cena I WILL WASH CENA'S MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP! But if Cena wins he gets to wash MY mouth out with soap.

Backstage: Show is in a neck brace and has a team of security around him. Brock says look at what Holly did, so Show says he has a restraining order against Hardcore Holly. He can't come within 50 feet of him. Brock says he will be by Show's side for protection, WHAT A GUY!

Recap of Chavo turning on Eddie last week.

Backstage: Kurt walks into the males locker room and takes a seat next to Eddie. He asks how he's doing and apologizes again for last week. Kurt says Chavo will not be here tonight, but Chavo Sir will be here instead. Kurt informs him that Heyman told him it will be Eddie vs. Chavo @ The Rumble. Kurt says neither man can be in the Rumble now, but everyone wants him to kick Chavo's ass.Eddie says he doesn't want to hurt his cousin, plus who will stop. He won't do it, he won't beat him up. He tells Kurt to stay out of his business and RESPECT him.

It's supposed to be Scotty/Rikishi vs. Bashams for the tag titles but Dawn Marie comes out, she says Heyman has told them that match is canceled instead it will be Scotty vs. Rikishi and the winner gets a spot in the Rumble match.

Royal Rumble Qualifier Match: Rikishi vs. Scotty II Hotty
TRASH! Rikishi wins.

Royal Rumble Qualifier Match: The Bashams (w/Shaniqua) vs. The Self-Proclaimed Worlds Greatest Tag Team
WGTT do what they can, Bashams are still god awful. Neither team plays the face role so we get about 5 minutes of both teams trying to out heel the other along with both teams getting about 2 minutes of iso. Haas has a nice hot tag as the match breaks down, behind the refs back Shelton hits a superkick on Doug and Hass jackknife pins him for the win. *3/4

Chavo Guerrero Sr. comes out. He says the family is torn about what happened last week. He says he is ashamed of what Chavo did, so he gonna ask Eddie to come out so he can apologize on behalf of his son. Eddie comes out and says; did Chavo Jr send him out? Eddie says so he's out to play daddy and big brother. Eddie says this will not make things be right. He says his anger is not towards him it's to his son. He asks did he raise his son like this? to turn his back on family? to run when SHIT gets tough? Chavo says No and Eddie says he knows, but what he doesn't understand is why he's here instead of CHAVO JR. Chavo Sr say's he's right his son should be here. Suddenly, Chavo Jr comes out and Eddie looks confused. Chavo Sr holds Eddie back and Chavo Jr comes down......................................BUT FROM BEHIND CHAVO SR ATTACKS EDDIE FROM BEHIND. CHAVO AND CHAVO BUT THE BOOTS TO EDDIE. BEATING HIM DOWN! UNTIL KURT MAKES THE SAVE. Another phenomenal angle.

During the break: Chavo & Chavo bailout of the arena.

The F.B.I. come out for a match. But, again Dawn Marie comes out and says Heyman has made a match and now only one member of the FBI will make it to the rumble.

Royal Rumble Qualifier Match: Nunzio vs. Chuck Palumbo vs. Johnny Stamboli (Battel Royal Rules)
TRASH! Nunzio wins.

Backstage: Eddie finds Kurt and thanks him for making him see the light.

Royal Rumble Qualifier Match: Funaki vs. The Big Show (w/Brock Lesnar & Security)
SQUASH!

Backstage: Paul Heyman gives Rhyno a pep talk. He says he wants to see the resurrection of his Rhyno, the resurrection the EXTREME RHYNO!

Billy Gunn Best Of

Before the match, Heyman orders the ref to be strick with Cena if he does anything not legal DQ him on the spot. But Rhyno, he is under the ECW RULES! No DQ's, No Countout anything is LEGAL for Rhyno

Loser washes mouth with soap match: Rhyno (w/Paul Heyman) vs. John Cena
About 12 minutes, Not Cena's best performance and this Rhyno resurrection wasn't really a resurrection cause it's not 99/01 Rhyno it's still '03 Rhyno he's WASHED! Rhyno uses a bunch of weapons for his heat segment. Cena's comeback is cool, he goes for an FU but Heyman rolls in and low blows Cena giving Rhyno a two count. Minutes later after some back and forth, Rhyno sets up a table on the corner, he goes for a GORE but Cena avoids and Rhyno goes through the table. Cena knocks Heyman off the apron and hits the FU to Rhyno for the win. ** - **1/4

After the Match; Heyman tries to run away but Benoit drags him back out and locks in the sharpshooter and Cena forces soap into Heyman's mouth.

 

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Randy Orton
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Ric Flair & Batista
WWE Women's Champion: Molly Holly

WWE Monday Night RAW
January 19th, 2004
Green Bay, Wisconsin

Backstage: Coachman is with the 15 guys that will represent RAW for the Rumble, Coach says Heyman took #1 but Eric was able to secure number #30. Jericho tries to cash in his Survivor Series favor so he can get #30 and Coach says Eric isn't here and HE is the GM for the night so no deal. But TONIGHT! There will be qualifiers to see who makes it to the battle royal and the winner of that will get number #30.

Mattitude.com; Matt loves Mongolian BBQ & Matt's Countertops are all granite

Battle Royal Advancement Match: Rob Van Dam & Booker T vs. Christian & Matt Hardy
Christian/RVD and Christian/Booker rules, as usual, Matt/RVD doesn't get that much time and Matt/Booker is solid. Heels work over Booker's hurt neck after last weeks Tombstone. RVD's hot tag is alright, he doesn't fuck up so that's nice. The match breaks down and Booker hits Matt with the scissors kick and RVD follows up with a Five Star Frog Splash for the win. **1/4

It's no longer Stiner vs. Goldberg, it's now Steiner vs. Goldberg vs. Test in an Advancement match

Interim GM Coachman comes out and joins commentary.

Battle Royal Advancement Match: Chris Jericho vs. Rene Dupree
Jericho does what he can but Rene is still the biggest sack of shit on the roster, but at least he debuts the French Tickler. Jericho wins with the Walls.

The AWESOME Orton paid ad airs again.

Backstage: Jericho is in his locker room when Christian comes in, Christian congratulates him and says he didn't even lose. Christian tries to get Jericho to use his favor to replace him in the battle royal. Christian brings up how he's always there for him and what not, including last year at the Rumble. Jericho sees his point and understands, but says he finally has his shot to go back to the main event. He says Christian still has a great shot of winning the Rumble without #30, and he'll see him later. Jericho leaves and Christian is upset.

Battle Royal Advancement Match: Mark Henry (w/Theodore R. Long) vs. Rico (w/Miss Jackie)
MARK SQUASH!

Backstage: Evolution are getting ready, Flair says tonight is Orton's night not only will he go down as the greatest IC champion but he will be number #30 And Dave is a BEAST! He says Orton's gonna win the Rumble, and it's an all Evolution main event at Mania. Orton says the honor would be all his for it to be IC vs. World Champion at Mania. It will be like Mania 6 all over again. FORESHADOWING!

Battle Royal Advancement Match: KANE vs. Spike Dudley
They do stuff for about a minute Spike shoves the ref but the ref thought it was Kane so the ref DQ's him SMH! Post-Match: KANE destroys Spike to the point of Spike being carried out, I guess he's not in the Battle Royal.

Battle Royal Advancement Match: Scott Steiner vs. Test vs. Goldberg
It is what it is, Test and Scotty team up for the majority but can't decide on who will pin Goldberg and turn on one another. That allows Goldberg to hit the spear/jackhammer for the win.

Stone Cold Steve Austin comes out in his ATV. He grabs a mic and says he has a message to Mick Foley, he doesn't know what is going through his head. He walked out on an IC title match, let Orton spit in your face and last week no showing when Orton got you a limo and a ticket. Austin brings up them riding together and says when Orton spits in Foley's face, he spits in the face of this business and Steve Austin. He asks ~ no! no! no! he orders Foley to be at the Royal Rumble. If he doesn't show up to beat up Orton, he'll go and get Foley himself. And that's the bottom line cause Stone Cold said so.

Backstage: Christian walks up to Trish, he says he doesn't want any trouble he just wants to talk. He says he knows how she feels about Jericho, she hates him. Christian says after he took Jericho out last week, he feels the same way. He shows her pix on his phone of Jericho with women and a couple of midgets He says she got what she wanted for Jericho to move on.

Backstage: Terri interviews The Hurricane, she asks him about his odds not being high. He says the odds are never in his favor and people look at him like he won't ever main event Mania. But nights like this, he has a chance. He says he believes in himself and he will show everyone.

Battle Royal Advancement Match: Randy Orton vs. The Hurricane
Pretty good Orton showcase, kinda weird with Hurricane's pre-match interview they didn't do more teasing Hurricane winning but fuck it. RKO gets the win. After the match; Rosey comes down to check on Hurricane and stupidly turns his back on Evolution who attacks him. The Dudleyz make the save. They bring out a table and set it up, JR and King put the battery in Coach's back so he leaves and demands they stop so the Dudleyz hit Coach with a 3D through the table instead.

Spike Dudley can't compete so he's out.

Battle Royal with the winner being number #30 in the Royal Rumble: Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho vs. Booker T vs. Randy Orton vs. Goldberg
Goldberg mows down everyone until he's hit with the Book End, Lionsault, and Frog Splash in that order, 4 seconds later Booker eliminates RVD and Jericho throws Booker out. Jericho/Orton and Mark/Goldberg pair off, we get 3 minutes of tease eliminations before Mark and Orton toss Jericho out, Orton tries to lift Mark up over, but Goldberg runs full force into both of them and knocks Henry out. Goldberg then hits Orton with some signature power offense before throwing him out onto Flair and Batista.

 

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
WWE United States Champion: Big Show
WWE Tag Team Champions: The Basham Brothers
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio

WWE Smackdown
January 22nd, 2004
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Recap of Chavo turning on Eddie 2 weeks ago and last week being double-crossed by his own brother Chavo SR.

Tonight: Eddie and Kurt vs. Chavo and Chavo

Rey Mysterio vs. Chuck Palumbo (w/The F.B.I.)
A good little match, Chuck has another nice showing, I'm starting to think he isn't such a waste of cum anymore. Rey takes some great bumps really making all of Chucks shit look good. The match ends when Rey counters a press slam into a roll-up for the win. After the match; The F.B.I. beatdown Rey until Noble comes out. He pulls out an envelope of cash and hands it over, and they leave. **1/2

Backstage: Josh Mathews is with Paul Heyman, he says there is no respect anymore but it all changes tonight. He says Vince is a leader, and Cena and Benoit are trying to ruin his good image of Smackdown. He says Benoit and Cena will team up to face Rhyno, Morgan, The Big Show & Brock Lesnar.

Backstage: Kurt says the Chavo's lied and betrayed him which now makes it his business. He says they have no sense of family value. Chavo Jr. says Eddie has been holding him down the whole time. Kurt says he has 4 older brothers, and it was a battle but you know what he did to stand out? WIN A GOLD FREAKIN MEDAL! So see you tonight.

Royal Rumble Qualifier Match: Tajiri vs. Billy Kidman
Fucking Kidman UGH! This goes about 4 minutes or so, Tajiri works over Kidman's previously injured arm and Kidman sells and sells really well. I love that he holds the arm close to his body for the rest of the match and when he does use the arm he tries to shake it off Kidman misses the Shooting Star Press and Tajiri kicks him in the head for the win. **1/2

Backstage: Brock and Show and cops are walking together, Show says Brock has to stop shadowing him and is onto him. Brock says he's only here to talk strategy for their match. Show says Brock has been with him the entire week he can't even go to the bathroom. Show says he needs time for himself to think not only for their match tonight but at the Rumble that he will win and beat him for the WWE championship. Show says he broke Holly's neck and Holly wants to do the same.

Royal Rumble Qualifier Match: A-Train vs. Shannon Moore
TRAIN SQUASH! YAY!

Backstage: Paul Heyman is giving a pep talk to Rhyno and Morgan, Brock is pacing up and down. Heyman asks where is Show and Brock says the last time he saw him he was hiding in his locker room with the cops.

Brock/Hardcore video package.

A lifeguard chair is brought out.

Everyone comes out for the match, except the Big Show. We then cut to backstage footage of a forklift in front of Big Show's door, workers yell where are the keeps, they try to move it by pushing but they can't so..................it's now a 3-2 handicap match.

John Cena & Chris Benoit vs. Brock Lesnar, Rhyno, Matt Morgan
Heel cocky, arrogant, pussy Brock is the best. Him still ducking Benoit rules. Good opening couple of minutes Rhyno looks the best he's looked in 2 years, super violent on offense against Cena and Benoit basically softening them up so Brock can get some licks in. Cena vs. Brock rules which leads to Team Brock isolating Cena., tons of cheating and cockiness by Brock. Benoit has a really great hot tag as we get Benoit/Brock for about a minute. Rhyno accidentally gores Brock but it doesn't lead to anything, the match begins to break down and Brock decides FUCK THIS AND LEAVES! But Hardcore attacks him on the entrance way and tries to lock in a full nelson but security and agents break it up. Brock cheap shots Hardcore one last time before bailing to the back. When we return from a commercial, Team Brock are back on offense and have Benoit now isolated in the ring, they target the neck but just as things begin getting good Cena's hot tag happens which is really good. The match again breaks down and Cena hits Rhyno with an FU for the win. After the match; Benoit and Cena push Paul off the chair and into the ring, but now The Big Show comes out! They both try to fight him, but he hits both men with Chokeslams. He easily throws them over the top rope to the floor before posing. **3/4

Royal Rumble Qualifier Match: Bradshaw vs. Akio vs. Sakoda
Basically the exact same match as the RAW match, the tag team up and make it a handicap match but can't agree on who pins Bradshaw, so they turn on one another which allows Bradshaw to sneak in the back door and hits a nasty clothesline from hell for the win.

​

Backstage: Kurt tries to give Eddie a pep talk and says this match is not about Eddie getting revenge on Chavo and Chavo, it's about wrestling and winning. He says he is the greatest wrestler never to be WWE champion. Kurt says it's his anger and his Latino Heat that spots him every time. Kurt says to keep his temper in check and control his temper instead of letting his temper control him because the best revenge is winning.

Eddie Guerrero & Kurt Angle vs. Chavo Guerrero Sr. & Chavo Guerrero Jr.
Fine angle match, Kurt wants to win so bad that he doesn't want to tag Eddie in for fear of Eddie losing his temper. Eddie doesn't give a fuck about the match so he keeps entering himself in to which the Chavo's bail and regroup on the floor to further fuck with Eddie. Eddie eventually tags in but he lets his emotions get the best of him which allows the Chavo's to double team him on the floor and rolling him back in to begin their heat segment. It okay, Chavo Sr at his age might be better than Jr Kurt had a decent hot tag for all of 9 seconds before Eddie tags himself back in. The match breaks down and Chavo pokes Kurt in the eye, Eddie throws Chavo out and Eddie goes to pick Kurt up but as Kurt's blind he "accidentally" angle slams Eddie before being helped to the match. Chavo Jr. then hits a Frog Splash off the top for the win. **1/2