UWF 2014 Royal Rumble Trashtalking

[Chris Dresdon]

Even though he's not in the match, Steve has noticed AJ speaking on behalf of Punk and Trish speaking on behalf of Umaga and therefore decides to speak up.

"The Icon" Steve Borden: Well Wrestlemania season is certainly in the air. I mean look at all of these talentless, desperate idiots crawling out of the woodwork for one more suckle of fame, it's inspiring to so many members of the fanbase, yet disgusting and pitiful to me. But I don't wear the rose colored glasses that the rest of you do, I don't have the fragile brain stem propping up a puny, poorly functioning mind that you three teethed, unsophisticated, parasite fans possess. You idiots gander at The Undertaker, who still walks around looking pissed off like the guys at Bad Ink just gave him the reality check that a cover-up tattoo is impossible. Must take Michelle right out of the mood to see "Sara" still emblazoned on your throat. It's sad to see you in the state that you're in, especially because so many of, for lack of a better word, our "peers" respect you. For years and years all I've heard is how badly the world wants to see you and I wrestle, and before I would've entertained the concept, but not now. As soon as I applied the Deathlock, your back would be finished. At least then you could finally justify calling this your yard, because you'd be buried in it.

It's at this time that Matt chimes in.

Matt Bloom: Actually, Steve, he's being kind of quiet so maybe he's considering actually doing himself and his family a service and not going through with this suicide. Good for you, at least you can say that at some point, you fully intended on going through with it, you aren't hiding behind someone else's words like this Umaga that I keep hearing all this hype about. You just couldn't stay out of the spotlight, and whatever that's fine, it's Wrestlemania season, the part that I don't understand is that out of all the "clients" you could've come back with, you chose Umaga over the other two. If being big and working stiff is all it took me to get over in Japan, I guess that's the excuse we can give for Umaga getting over on Anarchy. No one could handle him over there, but me? I'm Matt Bloom, I'm just as big as him, just as devastating, and oh yeah, haven't mentioned this lately, but I'm undefeated. That's something none of the competitors in this match can say besides me. Not to mention, like I said, you're doing all the talking for him, what's this Umaga done lately that makes him such a monster, what's he done to justify calling him a "Samoan Bulldozer", huh? Nothing.

You and Umaga might've rode high on Anarchy and Raw once upon a time, but those days are over now, it's time for Umaga to make room for Matt Bloom, and if the guy can't get past Curt Hawkins, believe me, he's not going to get past me. How's that for disappointment?

As Matt keeps fixated on Trish, Steve nudges him as he begins to speak again.

Listen to that, Matt, the Double Dragons want to give us a shot at their tag team championships. I'd be careful what I wished for, if I were the two of you, because if that wish gets granted, you won't have to worry about the dance floor, because you'll be on the cutting room floor. Now about that crack about no one on Anarchy being able to handle Umaga...

Matt behaves as though he didn't hear what Steve said.

You want me to be worried about you clowns? Ha! I'll stack you two lightweights on top of each other on one shoulder and hold your belts in the other hand so you can literally kiss them goodbye before I put you away. How does it sound to let the a's in your name breathe with a big knee in your abdomen while you're trying to do it? I'm planning on finding out if one of or both of you jokers decide to try your luck.

Steve turns to Rob Van Dam and crew.

Rob Van Dam, it seems you and your former fellow Justice Leaguer Rey Mysterio have something in common aside from the fact that neither of you wear a cape or tights anymore.

Him and Rey were superheroes?

What? Yeah, it was before your time.

Okay, because technically he's still wearing tights.

Yeah but I meant....ugh, never mind what he's wearing. What I'm getting at is that much like Rey went from you to a 3 Live Kru reunion with him standing in for Konnan to an LAX reunion with him standing in for Konnan, you went from him to rolling solo to being in a stoner team with Evan Bourne and now you're here with two guys that weren't even all that relevant when ECW was around, let alone now. You just can't make up your mind. "Do I want to be a singles guy? Do I want to be a tag guy? I know I want to point at myself." and then we're treated to you pointing at yourself and telling the world your name for the thousandth time and rattling off the many, many nicknames you've amassed over the years.

Rob, you should've have come back to the UWF, because even though you plan on ruining my night and aspirations for capturing one of those briefcases, I'm going to snatch you out of the sky when you try to frog splash me and break you like one of those Doritos you're constantly staining your fingertips with. And if Bill Alfonso or Sabu have anything they want to say or do about it, I have no issue with hurting your precious Fonzie, because Sabu will hurt himself trying.

Matt turns his attention to the "Whole She-Bang".

Back to you, kid. Johnny Gargano's biggest fan, Johnny Gargano. Good for you for believing in yourself and all that, someone has to pull for you around here, especially since you're stock has just about bottomed about before it had the chance to get started. Lost your first match teaming up with your buddy Kennedy, Steen left you high and dry, which, by the way, nice attempt at trying to save face by trying to make it out like it was YOU that cut ties with HIM. Kevin Steen got fired and that's the only reason he's not part of the cat's pajama club anymore. You want to be the face of the company? Well, someone would have to come to the Rumble pay-per-view with a tommy gun, pick off every superstar that walked through that curtain sparing you, and travel the world doing the same to all of the other big stars not under UWF contract for that to happen. You want to get one of the briefcases? Once again, I'm standing in your way of that, and I intend to make good on my earlier promise.

Matt turns his attention to Bubba Ray now.

If you could easily take me out, then you would have the first time you had a chance. As for Steve losing the Rumble match, well, we both know who the favorites are.

Daniel Bryan.

Dean Ambrose.

Damien Sandow.

John Cena. I wonder what the point of having thirty guys is. But this isn't about the Rumble match, it's about this Rags to Riches match. I'm going to come into this match on Sunday and I'm going to do what I do best: break bodies big and small, break constitutions weak and strong, and as I take possession of one of the briefcases, the one thing I guarantee won't be broken when I trample all of you to do it, is a sweat.

Matt smiles arrogantly as the crowd showers he and Steve Borden with disdain.​

 

[Fauche]

The titantron once again flickers to life with a live feed of the backstage area. The indoor parking area is shown, placid and dimly lit. An ambulance, sirens blaring, rips into the shot out of nowhere and comes to a screeching halt, haphazardly parking between a fire lane and handicap stall. With a graceless jolt, the driver's door is flung open and Sami Callihan stumbles out into the light. Still sporting a host of grotesque wounds and an obvious concussion, Callihan clumsily hobbles forward toward the arena. Along the way, he casts aside a hand full of empty prescription pill bottles, likely ones that hand been full of pain killers before he started driving. The hardcore superstar seems only half-aware (at best) of his whereabouts, and by time he notices the camera (quite conveniently) covering him, he's nearly entered the main part of the building. He pauses before going inside, turns with sickly lurch, titles his head up and stares unblinkingly towards the lens.


Callihan: I guess... I guess... we'll just do this out here then. Ya know, stream of thought, improvised... yeah... just roll with it... roll with 'em all... BANG BANG BOOM.... hahaha... fuck it... yeah... let's do it.... do you uh.... can I bum a smoke? What? No? Oh, you uh... don't? No? Don't smoke? Ah, good on ya. Shit'll kill ya... kill us all.... ya know, that... that and nuclear war... nuclear cancer... fuckin, microwaves and computer chips... government puts 'em in all our cell phones... big brother, right? Kills us all, everyday.... in the water... in our bread and butter... and... and they'll kill us all, mark my, uh... mark my words they'll kill us... kill us with, ya know... tazer... barbed wire... scaffolding... piranhas... frying pans.... ya know... fuck 'em...

Sami shakes his head, paces around, gathers what thought he can and continues.


Callihan: That's not why we're, uh... here.... right here... tonight though? No not tonight. Is it? Tonight. Royal Rumble. Let's uh... let's break it down. Royal... kings... big deal, ya know, red carpet, crown, throne, fuckin... pagentry and shit. All that to-do. Folks followin' ya around pourin' your drinks and cuttin' your filet mignon and massagin' your ankles and your wife's ankles and the kids all got like... fuckin... all that cool stuff you can afford cause you're royal and whatever... and uh... Rumble... well that's a fight. A big one. Like uh... ugggghhhhh.... The Outsiders.... big bigs fight. Thirty of us. THIRTY. Count 'em... one... two... skip a few... and... uh... ya know... thirty of us. There it is, and there we are. Out there, all of us at once maybe... tryin'.... just tryin... to toss each other guy... each other guy over that damn rope... and uh... just... uh... hold on a sec...


Sami turns around promptly, smacks his head into the wall a couple of times, telling himself to straighten it out, and turns around, bleeding and smiling.


Callihan: AND... WHEW... Feelin... feeelin.... back. There. Much more better. Fuck. Maybe one or two too many of them Vicodin there. But uh, well, its what it is, isn't it? Now... Brodie.... Brodie... well he was in the ambulance when I started driving over here... at least I think he was... no clue where he is now though... but that, well, its not, uh, well its just me tonight, right? Just good ol' Sami Callihan climin' up in that good ol' ring with twenty nine other sorry sons of bitches fightin' for our greed and glory and all for top prize - a shot at gold come Wrestlemania. You know it, they know it, I know it, and we all know, yeah we allllllll know Sami Callihan ain't gonna be the guy that does it. Hey, no shame in that, right? Nothing wrong with calling it like it is, saying what's on everybody's mind - the elephant in the room, eh? No, I ain't offended if I get out there and, uh, and ya don't go losin' your voices cheering my name cause ya know its kinda a lost cause. Hell, I only won two matches since I been here, and one of them was by DQ, right? Ya got prize horses, winning all the time. Ya got dark horses, winning when ya don't expect it. Then ya got jack asses, winning every time ya don't want 'em too... then... then... ya got the fuckin dog races... naw... dog fights. Scraps. Mutts and mongrels out in the alley tearin' each other apart so a hobo and a junkie can take a bet and make a quick buck and the one they don't never ever bet on, well, hey, that's me. Stray dog, bad dog, no bone for this dog, gots fleas, no home, nobody to listen to him bark. But he's barkin' anyway, all night, howlin at the damn moon tellin' it that if just the balls to take its pompous ass outta the sky for just... one... night... then he'd kick it's cheesy smile right off its dumb face. And he'd lose, sure as all things, he'd lose. But he'd fight it anyway, again and again and if he lost 99 times in a row he'd still think his odds were better for that hundredth time.

And that's what this is. It ain't Sami Callihan playing the odds. Hell, twenty nine other guys - former world champions, bigger guys, faster guys, stronger guys, damn living legends born and bred for big shot moments like this. They look at Sami Callihan and say "Man, kid must just be happy to be here. God bless him." Fuck them. I'm not them, never will be. I ain't ever gonna be in a commercial or on a slurpee cup. Never gonna have an action figure. Never gonna make the poster for the pay-per-view. This ugly mug's got one too many scars, this heart's got one too many breaks. What you see is what you get and ain't nobody want to see it, right?

I didn't come to ruin any nights, not to shatter any dreams, and I sure ain't here to win it, cause I still got too many stitches to get my hopes up that high. I was just... uh... well I heard what everyone else has been saying about this here match over the past few weeks and I just had to get some stuff off my chest...


Callihan scratches his mess of hair before going on.


Callihan: It's like... it's like... it's like this... I dunno.... funhouse. House of mirrors and masks and.... imposters.... like I says... masks... they just, they just all wearing these faces. Tough faces. Angry faces. Proud faces. Inspired faces. Brave faces. Entitled faces. And me... me... I've been in a lot of fights. May not win many, but sure as hell I've been in more than my share... and if there's one thing I ever learned, it was this. More I swing, more I put cracks in them masks. I pull back my hand and its got the splints and bits and pieces in it, bleeding out down my arm and on the floor. And I look up and I see all these holes left where I hit... I get glimpses... peaks into who all these.. uh... "superstars" really are. So I take another swing. I get hit back. I take another swing. I get hit back. Sure enough, 'fore long my face is all messed up, bleedin' all over. That's natural though. That's what happen when you hit a man, you see him hurt. Fair enough, its how we're made. But those masks, well you keep taggin' them and they just keep splittin' apart. And they break away. And then its gone - whether it was courage or anger, whatever else... don't matter... you see the scared, little child behind it all. The one who got to the top of this fight game just by lookin' good, or by workin' out. Who's makin' mad cash now just cause they're somebody's kid, or somebody's else's bitch. That ain't me. That's never been me. But 99% of the guys who are gonna be in the Rumble, bet your ass its them. Not bad guys, not even weak or stupid or nothin... but they ain't fighters. Not deep down. Nah, they ain't got the scrap in them. That T.I.O.C. - that Thoroughbred American Violence, kind I was talkin' about, kind what gets knocked down over and over again but keeps askin for more. I got that. For better or worse I got that.

So Royal Rumble, say its not "my kind of fight". But if its a "fight", then damn sure I'm comin in, full tilt and whether I go down in ten seconds, ten minutes, or whatever else, I'm gonna put that fight in there. Real fight. Pourin' blood and broken bone. Whatever happens... guess it happens. Whoever wins that shot at Mania, good on 'em. I'm just here tryin' to make sure that company poster boy, whoever it is, got himself a crooked nose, a few less teeth, and a couple goofy lookin' scars 'cross the face come that big night in April so folks know it was earned. That's just what I do. Fuckin' fight. See ya out there.


Callihan turns, opens the door and walks inside.​

 

[Sam]

As Bloom lowers his microphone all goes quiet until the bassline of a more than familiar theme begins playing over the PA system and the crowd immediately begin to boo.



'Broken Out In Love' by Mark Crozer and The Rels plays over the PA system and the crowd immediately begin the outpouring of hate they have for the man who is soon to join us. On queue Bray Wyatt walks out from behind the curtain, he has a microphone already in his hand and he raises it to his mouth as his entrance theme fades.

Bray Wyatt: False prophets often rely on the idiocy of the many to bring power to the few. False prophets spread their lies with one hope, one mission and one goal only and that is to rot the minds of those who stand around them and gawp at their presence and in doing so gain the power of the followers they have gained. These false prophets, man, they're everywhere. I see them. I see them every night when I close my eyes, I hear their calling, and I hear the replies from all of you. All of you in the crowd who choose to believe in the words of those who seek only to mislead you, only to deny your individual right and freedom to love and to be loved by the one true leader, the one true prophet and the man who has been watchin' over you since day one, since the dawn of time, listening to your prayers and giving you not what you seek but what you deserve, what you truly need... that being is standin' before you right now, man. He's been standin' here the whole time!... watchin', listenin', and now it's time for him to act.

The crowd are booing the cryptic Bray Wyatt as he makes his way down the entrance ramp slowly, speaking as he does so.

It's time for him to act and bring unto you all the one true prophet, the one true belief and he ain't gon' lie to you like all these other men and women who stand in front of your very eyes lying!... tellin' you that they are to be believed, that their words are the gospel of which you seek. Nah Bray Wyatt, ain't gon' lie to you like these other heretics may. I speak only truth and I speak the truth with love and compassion that no other entity could bring. I speak to the heart, man, these men and women you see before you in this ring, they speak only to your base sense, to your sight, to your hearing... they reach only the face of their followers but Bray Wyatt's people?, man they get it all. See Bray Wyatt isn't interested in the games these men and women play of one upping one another, of trying to tell you they are better than each other because Bray Wyatt's people, Bray Wyatt's family... they know just who Bray Wyatt is and just what Bray Wyatt is capable of.

The crowd continue to boo Wyatt, he chuckles to himself before continuing.

And I find it funny, I find it real damn funny when I look into this very ring and I see the same faces. The same false prophets I have seen in my time here in UWF, and I see them still spreading their nonsense. I see a man spreading the word of living without vices, yet for those who believe in him... CM Punk... he becomes their vice. He locks them in and they can't escape, man, they love him, they love their false prophet when they should be lovin' me!. But... these minds are weak and Bray Wyatt plays to no fools and in the realm of the weak minds also stands Umaga. Umaga who attacked Bray Wyatt like the hell-beast he is, looking to smite Bray Wyatt, to besmirch my good name, my good word!. Well I hope Umaga realizes just what he gotten himself into for I am much more monstorous, much more demonic and much more in tune with the dark realms than he could possibly comprehend and I plan on exorcising the beast from him and leavin' him emasculated, beaten and forever gone from my sight!.

The crowd give a mixed reaction, the fans hate both Umaga and Punk but refuse to cheer Bray Wyatt given his reputation.

And speakin' of men who have connections with the dark realms, we have The Undertaker. A man who once stood in that ring proclaiming to be Satan himself. Proclaiming to be the 'Lord of Darkness'. How things have changed, maybe... just maybe Undertaker has realized his own mortality. Maybe he has realized that he is simply a man. And maybe Bray Wyatt being around made him realize that he ain't the almighty collector of souls he thought himself to be and that their is only room in this life for one true 'Eater of Worlds', one true 'Angel in The Dirt' and that man is more demonic, more evil than he could ever be... but oh so loving and caring at the same time. See, I don't walk around here claimin' to be some sort of 'Deadman'... because I know how pointless it is, these people won't believe a word I say and it plays into my theory that these people, these stupid, stupid people are easily fooled by the words of false prophets.

The crowd boo loudly, an eruption of 'Undertaker!, Undertaker!' chants break out, Bray Wyatt lowers his microphone and looks around at the crowd before stepping onto the ring apron and raising the microphone again.

And you have them all wrapped around your little finger and they don't realize it. They don't realize that you're just a man, they see something more through your words, through your actions through the years but I am here now to shatter your illusions, to break down their belief in this false leader and bring them over into my lovin' arms to stand in the circle as we watch the world you tried to create, the world everybody in this ring has tried to create... burn to the ground. And it ain't 'cos I'm a bad guy, it ain't even because I am 'The Eater of Worlds'... it's because, in order to change the world for the better... to bring my believers closer to me and prove that I am the one true divine spirit in this world, the one true 'Angel in The Dirt' and that only I can lead them from this decaying world set up by the likes of the men and women who stand before them claimin' otherwise.

The crowd chant 'Wyatt Sucks!, Wyatt Sucks!' but Wyatt wastes no time in speaking once more.

So this Sunday, at the Royal Rumble, it's Rags to Riches. And these men and women may well be obsessed with the riches this world, this company and their followers offer them but Bray Wyatt ain't all that enamored with the idea of riches at all, man, money don't mean much to me and gold is only as powerful as man chooses it to be but the power of those championship belts cannot be denied. In this globally watched company, the eyes of the world aren't on the challengers, they're on the champions. This Sunday night Bray Wyatt will take his first step on the road back to becoming a champion. Back to where I belong, with my crown and scepter, on the throne watching over my beloved kingdom as your one true figure of hope, love and nourishment. AS YOUR SAVIOR!. And I can't promise everyone's gon' survive the flood, man, there will be causalities, their will be a purge... but what I can promise to all the world, to all the children who wish to stand by my side, in my family, in my ever burning light!... is that good things come to those who believe in Bray Wyatt... and if ya wanna find Bray Wyatt, if you wanna find Bray Wyatt, get down on your knees and join his family well all ya gotta do is simply...

Bray Wyatt steps into the ring, in amongst all the other competitors.

... Follow the buzzards....​

 

[The Hoov]

Daniel Bryan takes a look around the ring at some of his opponents for the Rumble and lifts his microphone back up to speak once more.

Daniel Bryan: It seems like an eternity since I walked through that curtain, came out here, picked up this microphone and started all of this but I can still remember my prediction. I said that there would be countless others who would walk out here and stake their claim to the Royal Rumble match but no one has given a single honest reason. Damien Sandow wants to win to quote unquote "enlighten", Dean Ambrose wants to win "just because" and D'Von back there keeps telling us all that God wants him to win. None of you truly understand what the Royal Rumble is or what it can do. It can change careers......and it could end them. And I don't mean end them in some unavoidable, inch away from death injury, no, I mean end your career in a psychological way. This match can make or break what you do in this business and what opportunities you do or do not get. I look around the ring and think back to the countless others who have flashed up on the titantron and I see a group of individuals who just....don't.....get it. This is an opportunity to headline the biggest show of the year. This is the moment you can become infamous, iconic even. Having your hand raised at the end of this night is a moment that will live on forever. The Miz, someone who doesn't matter in the slightest anymore, has been able to coast off of his Rumble victory. That's how much this night means but here I stand, seeing each and every one of you treat this like any other night. You just......don't.....get it.

Bryan looks over at John Cena and lays into him.

Daniel Bryan: Cena, keep talking. Keep trying to rally these people behind you because it's never going to happen. They've seen for months just who you really are. They've seen the John Cena I've been telling everyone about since those days on SmackDown. I told the world that John Cena only cares about one man and that's John Cena. John, make no mistake, that served you well for a while, 200 plus days as European Champion. Not too shabby but you stole the belt from me and, at Starrcade, after being kept away from you the entirety of those 200 plus days, I took back that belt and, contrary to what you might think, Christopher Daniels had nothing to do with it. He latched onto your leg and lifted it up an inch off the ground. No, it was Stephanie McMahon's call to make us "Co-Champions" but you look me in the eyes and you damn well better know that you're looking at the True European Champion and, come this Sunday, John, you'll be looking at the winner of the 2014 Royal Rumble because it doesn't take brawn to win.......

Bryan then turns and looks over at Damien Sandow.

Daniel Bryan: ......or brains to win. Sure, they help and are advantages, but the big deciding factor that not one takes into account is passion. Passion to be the best. Drive to push through. Dedication to win. That's what I have going on my side. Damien, you've got this idea in your mind that you're going to outsmart everyone in this ring but, when push comes to shove, while you're busy trying to stay one step ahead of us, I won't be letting up. I'll be doing what I always do and that's defying the odds. The odds are stacked up against me in this match. I'm probably the smallest guy in this match but I've got the fire of a thousand suns in my eyes and that's something that can't be taught in a classroom. That's something that comes with years and years of hard work and blood, sweat and more than a few tears along the way. Damien, you find yourself above all of this, don't you? I can see that you think that this will be a cake walk but, in all actuality, this will be the single worst night of your life when the supposed "weak link" of our tag team throws you over the top rope. How's that for a "lost sheep" Sandy?

Bryan then glances over at AJ and smirks.

Daniel Bryan: Oh AJ, I've missed throwing verbal jabs at one another but, this Sunday, the time for talk is over. You see, I've been watching you on SmackDown, defending the Hardcore Championship with pride. Thumbtacks, barbed wire, tables, ladders and chairs, oh my! AJ, you think that makes you better than me? I've been there before, AJ. I know what it means to be hardcore. Hell, I've even held that belt you have over your shoulder and guess what? I never lost it. It was stripped from me so, AJ, just remember: no one out-"hardcore-d" me and I'm still capable of going there but, the Royal Rumble isn't about all of that. It's not about knowing each other. AJ, I have nothing but respect for you and your abilities but, on this night, in this match......you will not be the better man. History will not repeat itself. Bound for Glory was a one-time occurrence. On this night, in this ring......you won't be so lucky.

Bryan then turns and looks at the titantron.

Daniel Bryan: So, Reverend, you want to talk about faith? There's an old saying that goes, for those who can't do, teach, and that goes double for you. You see, D'Von, you could never do what you said you could do so now you spend your days talking about what you can do, teaching us essentially. D'Von, if you think I'm the "Second Coming", it's because you classify me as such. My resume speaks for itself, D'Von. Everything I said about you and your idiot brother stands. Do you think your little "sermons" accomplish anything? No, unless you count showing how delusional and nonsensical you really are because, if that was your point, you nailed it! If you want to know what the truth is, the truth is, God won't be on your side in this match. God will be standing by, laughing, as your WrestleMania dreams comes crashing down around you when you go sailing over the top rope to the floor below. God won't help you win this match. There will be no divine intervention. Righteous or not, this is wrestling and, when it comes to wrestling, D'Von doesn't hold a candle to Daniel Bryan. Now, how about you do us all a favor and show yourself in front of the world, if you have the guts to do so.

Bryan then looks down at Ambrose standing at the top of the stage.

Daniel Bryan: And, of course, we've got Dean up there, pulling his same old schitck with everyone. Look, let's cut all of the B.S. alright? Your aloof-ness might work on everyone else out here, but you and I both know that the one person who can keep up with you in this ring and actually beat you is standing right here. The one person who knows everything about you is me. Four-Time World Heavyweight Champion. I mean, Dean, you're impressive no doubt but, I'm not going to let you win this one. For too long, I've had to play second fiddle to you because I would make one mistake, one simple mistake and you would capitalize. Not this Sunday. Not at the Royal Rumble. This is my opportunity to shine and no one, not even the great almighty Dean Ambrose, will take it away from me. This is my night but, more importantly, this is their night. Let me take you back to Backlash, back to Starrcade last year, back to every single match we've ever had. You had the crowd firmly on your side because I was brainwashed by Damien Sandow, following orders like a lap dog. Dean, you think that you know me but you have no idea because now I am free in all the ways that most can't even fathom. These people have forgiven me for my past transgressions and have accepted me, finally, and I will not let them down at the Royal Rumble. Dean, you may have been the better man in the past, but not this time. Not on this night. This night belongs to me. It means more to me than any other night because I want it more. I need it more......and I will do anything to win.

Bryan then turns around and faces all of the other people in the ring. The crowd is starting a big "YES!" chant and Bryan notices.

Daniel Bryan: Do you hear them? Listen to these people. They know exactly who they want to win this thing and exactly who they're putting their money on and I won't let them down. I have let them down too many times in the past to let it happen again. If you think 2013 was a good year for me, then you haven't seen anything yet and I plan on starting of my 2014 by throwing every person who comes in contact with me over the top rope and going on to WrestleMania to achieve my dream. Sandow doesn't care, Christian doesn't care, Ambrose doesn't care, Nobody cares like I care. nobody wants this as much as I want this and I'm going to prove exactly that this Sunday. The time for talk is through. We could all talk until we're blue in the face but, at the end of the day, it all comes down to this Sunday. The moment of truth. Where 30 men are tossed into the open sea. It's sink or swim time and I plan on making it back to dry land as the sole survivor. The Royal Rumble is where it all starts. The Daniel Bryan Movement has begun here in the UWF and, whether you love me or you hate me, I've said countless times, I'm not a villain and I'm not a hero. I'm just me, the YES Man for these people. so, I pose a question. Not to anyone out here in the ring. Not to anyone in the back. Not even to the announcers or ringside cronies out here. No, I pose a question to the entire UWF fanbase. I ask you, Will I win the Royal Rumble?

The "YES!" chant that died down earlier rise back up and are louder than ever. Bryan then throws his index fingers into the air and leads them in a chorus.

Daniel Bryan: YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

Bryan continues chanting with the crowd and glaring into the eyes of everyone in the ring, even turning around to glare at Ambrose at the top of the ramp.​

 

[Coldhands]

Kane looks across the ring at the bloodied Eddie Guerrero, surveying him and passing a silent judgment on his speech. Kane slowly lifts the microphone back up to his lips.

Kane:

What do I know about true pain? If you only experienced what I have been through in my life Eddie, you would not be standing here in front of me in this ring right now. You would have given up long ago. You cannot turn your back on a lifetime of taking the easy way out, a career of lying, cheating and stealing, by projecting this image of a tough guy because you have gotten yourself into a few battles over the years. This Sunday isn’t going to be a battle, this Sunday is going to be a domination. I will put you down and I will put you down for good. The time for talking is over, I am tired of my opponents claiming they are as tough as nails, that I cannot harm then, when their past actions are so much in conflict with their present statements. Eddie, whether you acknowledge it or not, you took the easy way out against me at Starrcade. You chose a time when you knew I would be at my very weakest, you chose a time to strike that would maximize the chance of success and even then you struggled to put me away. I am not condemning this decision, I am not making it an excuse, you won that Money in the Bank briefcase fair and square. What I am saying is you need to admit to these people who you really are. You can cut yourself open all you want, you can punch yourself, you can throw yourself off from great heights, but it will not change the fact that you will always be a coward. You will always seek the easy way out and the way that will preserve your own deluded idea that you belong at the top of the pack. It is your nature. You defeated me for the Global Championship, yes, but do not come out here and pretend that you are the toughest man in the world because you managed to pin me after I had been through hell with Steve Borden in a Casket Match.



Kane's biting comments usher in a 'ohhhh' reaction from the crowd as Kane begins to pace back and forth, clearly frustrated by Eddie's trash talk.

Kane :

The truth is Eddie, you are no different to Steve Borden. Deep down, you know that I can hurt you. You have seen the people that I have put on the shelf over the years, they too thought that they were invincible, that they could get into the ring with a monster and escape with just a bruise and a smile. I have taken years of men’s lives through what I can do in this ring, through the pain I have inflicted. But on Sunday Eddie, we are not wrestling a regular match, oh no. We will be surrounded by dozens of cold, hard steel chairs. This is the next best thing to having the two of us locked in some steel structure. I will have these weapons at my disposal, as will you. A creative mind lurks behind this mask, and on Sunday Randy Orton will have handed a blank canvas to a Monster who will paint with the blood of the Global Champion. Whilst you may be smaller and faster than I, all it takes is for me to catch you once Eddie, capitalize on one mistake, and I will bring one of these chairs down on that skull of yours so hard that you will be waking up the next day with not just a throbbing head, but with every area of your body making you want to tap out as if you were in the middle of this ring again.



But when I speak of the pain that I will make you feel on Sunday, when I describe why I am the way I am, I do not just mean physical pain. I mean mental and emotional torture, a destruction of the psyche so powerful that you will lack the strength to continue on. I inflict this so that perhaps for a second, my opponents can understand what it is like to walk around in my shoes. Perhaps for one fleeting moment, they can feel my pain. I don’t care how many scrapes you have gotten yourself into over the years Eddie, I don’t care how poverty stricken or how rough your neighbourhood was growing up. Because none of that, none of it, can compare to the pain that I have seen in my childhood and that has followed me into my adult life. As a child I witnessed my parents brutal death, their lives consumed by the fire caused by my brother. My brother may have caused it, but it was the fire that took their lives. People wonder why I am so interested in fire, but it is the power of such a natural force that I have harnessed in my life. It is all encompassing, and it is unpredictable. You see Eddie once a person lights a fire, they lose all control. They lose control over its direction, they lose control over whether it will take their life or whether it will spare it. No matter how bad the abuse got, in the care homes, in the foster homes, in the Church halls, nobody could harm me because I took on the life and the existence of the flames that killed my parents. Katie’s death... the laughter of those who surrounded me…..none of it could affect me, because nobody could control me.


I am explaining this to you Eddie because at Starrcade, you lit a fire yourself. By your actions, you resembled a teenager trying to light a joint but instead starting a fire than spreads and spread until it cannot be contained. You have opened Pandoras box, and what it contained is a force that cannot and will not be stopped. That Championship belongs around my waist, and when you took it from me you started the fire that will grow out of control and burn you at the Royal Rumble. My anger cannot be contained Eddie, it cannot be controlled. You stand there and act like a man who is crazed and out of his mind, but you can’t begin to even understand what is going through my mind. You have played with fire Eddie, and it is not just your hands that are going to be burnt. You can stand there and take your drugs, but chaos, destruction, misery, that is my natural high. I don’t need to pump my body full of chemicals to make myself happy. I will get my kick from seeing you carried out on a stretcher after I am done with you. You are right, there is no longer room for the both of us in this race for the Global Championship. But I’ve been in this position before, I have had a pretender to the throne claim themselves to be the rightful champion, and in the end they have fallen at my feet. They may have scored victories, they may have had their moments of triumph, but those moments all had something in common: they were brief and fleeting. They were moments of achievement blackened and tarred by the failure of their supposed ‘reigns’. You are at the top of the pack at the minute Eddie, but it will be no different. History will not remember as the man who defeated Kane, history will remember you as the man who walked blindly into the flames that devoured him.


Kane pauses, seeming to enjoy every word that comes out of his mouth, savouring its flavour.

Kane:

Insanity is defined as trying the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. Eddie Guerrero, Steve Borden, The Great Khali, Austin Aries. They have all tried the same thing, but in the end they have and will, all fail. I have been called insane for many years, it has a narrow meaning and it does not scratch the surface of who I really am. But in this context Eddie, with you standing here, the latest pretender to the throne fighting against the same opponent that others have failed against, expecting a different result. You are the crazy one, and by contrast you are making me look sane. You can bash your face in with that chair as many times as you want, it’s not going to change anything or make me look at you in any different way. There is only one true Global Champion, and his name is Kane.

Kane lowers the microphone and awaits the response of the bloodied Eddie Guerrero​

 

[Nate]

The fans are still marking out over Daniel Bryan, but the crowd suddenly turns cold as...



The crowd boos as the theme song of Reverend D'Von plays. Everyone in the arena looks at the entrance to see where Reverend D'Von is but he doesn't show up on the entrance ramp. The light turns on at the scaffolds being held from the top as Reverend D'Von is standing up there with his arms spread out and his head tilted back. He has a big grin on his face as everyone is looking up to the insane Reverend. Reverend D'Von is all by himself up on the ceiling scaffold as he raises up his mic.

Reverend D'Von: Hahahahahahahahaha they always say that good things must come to an end. My fellow brothers in the Royal Rumble, your days of dreaming and praying for the victory this Sunday are over! If there was ever a doubt in my mind that I would lose the Rumble, I would have never journey across the country to make the necessary preparations for this Sunday! You see my brothers and sisters, I have gone great lengths to make sure that everyone comes out in one piece from the barbaric Royal Rumble match, while allowing myself a fair chance to victory onwards to Wrestlemania. I have every intention on following the word of the Lord, so much in fact that I would sacrifice my spot for Wrestlemania to prevent Satan from ceasing to exist in this world; that is how much I wish for this planet to survive should I die. Obviously there is nobody in this entire community of fools that would even bother to take over my chores for the Lord; so I must do what I can while I am still breathing. Oh yes brother, you better believe that there is plenty of work to do still.

Reverend D'Von laughs to himself as he continues on.

Reverend D'Von: I can count how many foolish phrases I have heard prior to me arriving at this building, so much that one could suffocate from the amount of false claims that plaque this air. If I were to leave right now take a guess what would happen to your precious little company? The UWF Management would run this place to the ground and everyone that works here would be homeless! I then would have nothing to say because I would be doing God's bidding elsewhere, some place that would actually appreciate the work that I put in. Of course I'm not here for personal affection my brothers, I know that the Lord thanks me for all the hard work I put in. I do however dislike being mocked by my fellow peers. The ones such as Dean Ambrose and Daniel Bryan that tell me that I should show my face to the crowd, well here I am my brothers! I am showing my face just like you asked, and if you want you can try and throw your dirty comments towards me! I have nothing to protect me from getting shoved down and breaking my neck, but I know I'm safe regardless because the good Lord will protect me. Not some safety cable and not some souless security guard following me around.

He laughs again, this time becoming much more clear as he continues to speak again.

Reverend D'Von: I stand up here not so I can steal all the attention, but so the sinners can distinguish me as a shepherd, rather then be part of the herd of sheep. One who normally drives down a lot feels tired and must stop to rest somewhere, but I have drove across the country and drove straight back to here. I am weary my brothers and sisters but I can't deny conducting a final sermon to the crowd and for the sinners that shall attempt to break their necks in exchange for glory. Tell me my brothers, what shall happen when you win the Royal Rumble match this Sunday, but nothing can come out of it because all the strength has left the body for battling for too long? Regret. You would regret stepping into this ring with your fellow Superstars and you would regret sacrificing everything to be getting a shot at fame and glory. It makes me sick to my stomach that you would go all depths and ruin your bodies, God's greatest gift, in attempts to fatten your wallets at Wrestlemania. That is why that I have taken the liberty to enter this Rumble match and win it for myself! You may think that I'm full of it, but I know for a fact that the success won't be going to my head like most of you shall.

Everyone in the arena is either laughing at D'Von or shaking their heads. D'Von puts on a serious face now as he continues to preach from the ceiling scaffolds.

Reverend D'Von: I am not here to target anyone specifically now my brothers, it is time that I lay down the truth in one gigantic ball of fury and have you see the truth for what it really is; a vile, disgusting pile of shit! I apologize for my excessive use of foul language there my brothers and sisters, but it must be said. Nobody here knows the truth of winning the Royal Rumble, all they look at is the one side of the coin, the glory and fame of winning the Rumble. All they see is the fun and excitement of heading Wrestlemania, facing off for the World Heavyweight Championship or the UWF Championship. All they see is the preparation and the training while they strive to achieve that goal. Oh yes my brother that is all they see, but what they don't see is the other side of the coin; the dark and gruesome part of winning the Royal Rumble match!

The crowd is chanting 'Shut the fuck up!' now as Reverend D'Von proceeds with his preaching.

Reverend D'Von: Nobody understands what amount of pressure it takes to become the Royal Rumble winner. You are not allowed to instantly go after the World title of your choice overnight, you must wait until two months until Wrestlemania to gather your opportunity. Most of you are not able to withstand having to wait one month before screwing up your chances, what makes you think that you're able to have pressure build up inside of you for two months? What I do not understand is how you do not think before you act, how you can only consider the one side of the coin but not the other. It's the greed within you all that drives you into madness, after all as the old saying goes 'money doesn't buy you happiness'. It's an old saying but a truthful one at that, and that my brothers is a moral code that I live by. I'm not surprised if half of you do not understand what a moral code is, even Damien Sandow might have difficulty understanding the concept of it. I know that he can tell me the definition by reading it out of his pocket dictionary, but we all know that he's too smart for his own good.

D'Von looks down at everyone in the ring, then towards the titantron where the others are standing.

Reverend D'Von: That is the reason why I deserve to win this Rumble match my brothers. Not because I'm genetically superior then you, not because I have God on my side, but simply because I can handle the fame and save you all from your demise. Laugh at me now my brothers but when you're on your knees praying at night in the middle of March, wondering what you gotten yourself into, do not be surprised if God doesn't answer you. He has already given his warning through me and I feel that I have nothing else to say about that matter. Shark Boy, AJ Styles, I shall be seeing you worthless Smackdown sinners this Sunday in the Royal Rumble match. As for the rest of you; farewell and may the best man emerge victorious.

Reverend D'Von bows his head in a quick prayer as the fans are firing off a ton of heat towards D'Von. D'Von is done with the prayers as he heads to the back, not planning on making another public appearance before the Rumble match takes place.

OOC: Good luck everyone!​

 

[CliqueClacks]

 

[Andrew]

Instantly Gargano interrupts and speaks once again.

Johnny Gargano: Just where exactly are these Buzzards going Bray? The only false prophet is yourself, all the disbelief you're delivering yourself to accustomize. What really goes on inside that head of yours? I cannot fathom to how many delusional preachers we've got here in UWF already, I felt like I walked into a church and decided to attend Sunday School. Or better yet, a Jehovah's Witness knocking on the damn door preaching. That's exactly what I see you as Bray. This little cult crap of yours has really shown the light, but soon the light will snap... it will crackle and it will pop! Yeah, there won't be anymore damn lights or damn cults Bray. It's quite sad you living this false prophet of belief that you're some sort of savior. You cannot save yourself, you're just nothing more than a delusional hillbilly.

Gargano turns to Bully Ray once again.

Johnny Gargano: I've always wondered if you'd ever shut your mouth, but I started to realize you're a rambler. I couldn't give a damn where you came from big boy, but it's humorous, it's humorous knowing that you're failing to understand just like everybody else in the damn ring here. YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM, but you damn as well should! I've yet to accomplish anything because I haven't been here for long, now Rome wasn't built in a day but knowing you, you've got your damn head stuck so deep in the sand that you think everything comes on the damn plate for you. Well I hate to break it to you but it doesn't. I'm nobody's personal bitch, as a matter of fact... I'm on my own now. Kennedy, I have no idea where he is but last I heard he's gone walkabout. Look, I don't really care about Kevin Steen or Mr. Kennedy *Gargano laughs* Both those guys are nothing more than a waste of time. Now Ray, that championship belt I won in another promotion. That isn't important and I know that; I came to UWF with a reason. This match has opportunity, not only one opportunity, not two, not three but FOUR! FOUR BRIEFCASES! One gives us a World Championship shot, the other a mid-card shot, the third being am third-tier and lastly a tag team championship shot. Now, it doesn't matter to me which one I win. Which one I grab. Whether it's me having a Tag Team Championship shot and Kennedy ain't around, I'm sure I can find a buddy or two and get them into the biggest company of them all. Whether it's me going for the Hardcore Championship, the United States Championship, The International Championship, The European Championship. Heck, it doesn't even matter which one I get. The fact is, I will get a briefcase and I will go on to seize the very day whether you or anybody else like that. I've got a lot in the tank to prove, whilst majority of you are just aging... This here is your future, I've said it before and I'll continue to say it again!

Gargano then drifts his attention to Steve Borden and Matt Bloom

Johnny Gargano: Talentless, desperate? You think we're suckling out for fame? Look at you Steve, a man who had to change his entire look. A man who was once considered an icon to these people and then you just became... dirt. You're not even in the match but you feel it's right to speak on this, is it because you're afraid? Afraid of not making it to WrestleMania? That you've got to go through the Royal Rumble and sadly... you might not be able to accomplish anything there? Whilst we've got Umaga and Matt Bloom as the suppose-ably big guys in this match, it's not a concern. Are they going to be quick enough to grab the briefcase? They do not have the speed, stamina, mind-power or ability to even capture something that they're looking for. Because I'd like to see you try Matt, I'd like to see you accomplish something and if you do, I'll applaud you. But as far as I'm concerned, I'm grabbing one of the damn briefcases like I said. The reason I strongly believe in myself because I know deep inside that I can accomplish something around here, it's a given Matt. If you don't believe in yourself than what the hell are you doing here? I came to the big company to prove that I'm not some push-over rookie, I came here to be the best. I want to be the best and to be the best I've got to beat the best! Now I'm not concerned about losing my comeback match at all, Steen got released than came back that very day only because Sami Callihan was desperate to have him still here in UWF. As for Kennedy, who the hell cares dude? I've stated about a thousand times, I am here for myself and only myself. If I do win the briefcase and it's a Tag Championship opportunity than I won't hesitate on that at all, as long as I have a briefcase I'll be happy. This is an opportunity I won't let slide at all, this is my proving ground, my breaking point and I'll be damned to let this one slip. You might be standing in my way right now Matt, but I'll find a way... Nothing is impossible!

Gargano then takes a few steps back as he distants himself from everyone and continues on.

Johnny Gargano: Majority of us are competing in this match, unlike the Royal Rumble they only have one shot to make or break. We have four briefcases to seize and whilst it'll be a battle for who captures them. I promise you that I'll be grabbing one of them, I'll use my opportunity immediately because why let it go to waste? Why stick around and wrestle before using it? It's just like the Money in the Bank... I never understood why people wait around. The opportunity screams right in your face, use it. Because I damn will be. For anybody else who judge me wrong, for all the non-believers, you'll believe in me. You'll wake up and say... well shit, Gargano actually backed his words, shit Gargano has an opportunity. A rookie paved his way and did the impossible, well folks... when that comes... I'll say I told you so! Things are going off fireworks here. I am not going to allow myself to be a push-over, it simply cannot be allowed at all. This isn't 2013, this isn't my comeback match... this is me competing all on my own, proving that I am better than last year, better than having to stick around with Ken Kennedy and Kevin Steen. You all will heart Gargano. You delusional people will not be cheering your heroes and loved ones because the opportunity has came, this is where I overcome your heroes, your kings... because I am the Emperor!
​

 

[CliqueClacks]

Kidd wastes no time and as soon as Flair finishes speaking, Kidd's microphone is up to his mouth as he isn't done speaking to his Royal Rumble opponent just yet. The crowd begins to boo before Kidd can even get a word out.

Tyson Kidd
"Once again, I shocked the entire World. I proved once again, why I'm the best that's doing it today. I was able to even the odds when you had everything you could ask for Shawn. You had your best friend officiating your match, and we're in your hometown, what more could you ask for? You were about to have your San Antonio faithful cheering as you took the easy way out when you screwed me out of that Championship once again. Then after the Rumble, you would never have to worry about Tyson Kidd ever again, I would be out of your hair and you could keep being Champion for a long long time. But it's not going down like that Shawn. We all saw it on Raw, your best friend signed your fate away. He agreed to not interfere in our match, so that means that your wish doesn't come true. All you're going to get Sunday is your ass kicked in front all these idiots in San Antonio."

Kidd takes a slight pause as the crowd is furious with his comments. He paces back and forth a bit before raising the microphone back up to his mouth.

Tyson Kidd
"You don't have a choice Shawn, because you can't control Triple H. You don't know what he's going to do when he has to sit there and witness his best friend being beaten to a bloody pulp? We've seen it for weeks, Triple H run out here and be your knight in shining armor. But now, if Triple H even looks at me the wrong way, both of you lose everything. This company will be bankrupt, which really, that's just a way to speed up the process, because with you Shawn, as our Champion, that's the way this company is headed. So if your friend tries to get any ideas and wants to take matters into his own hands, then you can have fun being the Champion of a company that isn't in existence anymore while I sit home in Calgary, collecting your, and everybody else's paychecks. This isn't me being scared of your Shawn, this isn't me being a coward, so get that out of your head right now, this is me standing up for everybody in the back that's clawed their way up for months and has gotten no where because of people like you and your best friend Triple H."

The crowd continues to boo Tyson Kidd as he wastes no time in between pauses and brings the microphone back up to his mouth.

Tyson Kidd
"I'm not the World Champion right now for one reason, because I'm not Triple H's best friend. As much as you guys hate me I'm everything this company needs and as much as it kills you to admit you know I'm right. I'm not here because I know the right people, I'm here because I am the best and I've had to shatter glass ceilings just to get here. People like you and Triple H have been denying me my entire time here. At first I was just a flash in the pan to some people, thinking my success was just a temporary thing, nobody thought that I would last long. The thing is though, I haven't stopped winning, then when I came to Raw, nobody thought that I could hang with the top dogs, they thought I would be gone by now. Then I win the World Title Tournament, and prove that I belong on top. You and Hunter saw that and I'm sure it pissed you off, something that you hate is becoming bigger than the both of you and you tried to crush me at Starrcade. Having his wife screw me out of that Championship but I'm still here, I'm not backing down Shawn. Now Sunday, that thing you hate, is going to take your spot at the top and there isn't a damn thing that you can do about it."

A grin begins to grow on the face of Tyson Kidd as he passes the microphone to his wife to Natalya. The crowd is now a mixture of heavy boo's and a few whistles for Natalya, she holds the microphone in front of her mouth and begins to speak.

Natalya Neidhart
"Shawn, those comments about my family were really cute. See you're like a broken record, because you've been throwing the same dirt at my family for years and quite frankly, it's gotten old. It's not just you either Shawn, it's everyone that's had to stand across from Tyson, they all do the exact same thing, for some reason, they always find it necessary to attack my father, Jim 'The Anvil' Neidhart, and how all he was was a tag team specialist. How apparently, despite all the tag-team Championships, he was the weak link. Blah blah blah, trust me, if anyone knows about my fathers career, it's me. Here's the thing though Shawn, you're not facing my father, this match at the Rumble isn't against my Uncle Bret either, this isn't the late nineties anymore. Things are a lot different now. I remember Owen saying once; "Enough is enough, it's time for a change." I finally realized what he was talking about. Tyson Kidd is the change. He's the change this company needs, and you're time is up Shawn."

Natalya lowers the microphone while smiling at Shawn & Flair. She quickly turns her attention to the Nature Boy. The crowd is booing Natalya while a few "WOO" chants can be heard.

Natalya Neidhart
"Ric, Ric, Ric, you never cease to amaze me. Right when I think you've said the most outrageous, flat out stupid remarks, you seem to top yourself every single time. You seem to be even more out of it than the man you're representing. He's still, 'the man' to you Ric? I'm not sure what you're watching every week because I've witnessed first hand, week after week, Tyson getting the best of 'the man' every time they seem to be in the same ring. So Shawn can be at one hundred and fifty percent, but that won't change a thing, because on an equal playing field, Shawn's 'A Game', comes no where near Tyson Kidd on his best day. So Ric, Shawn, that long list of forgotten names that Shawn rambled off earlier, will have to make room for a Heart Break Kid and Nature Boy because after the Royal Rumble both of you will be forgotten as we enter the age of Tyson Kidd and the Hart Dynasty."

Natalya looks at Tyson Kidd with a big grin on her face as Kidd is grinning and nodding his head at Ric & Shawn. While the crowd boos, Natalya brings the microphone up to her mouth one more time as she looks in Flair's direction.

Natalya Neidhart
"Oh and news flash Ric, Space Mountain closed a long time ago."

The crowd let's out some 'OOH's as Natalya lowers her microphone and waits for what very well might be Shawn's last response.​

 

[Chris Dresdon]

As Eddie raises the microphone, he begins to laugh, the intensity and loudness increasing over time as he's soon doubled over slapping his knee. After a moment of this, he snaps up unexpectedly, holding the microphone up to his mouth and pointing at Kane with the extended pointer finger of his free hand, a serious look on his face.

Eddie Guerrero: Let's get something straight, Kane, Eddie Guerrero isn't a man that gives up under any circumstance, history should've proven that to you already, holmes. These gringos can't rally together like they rallied together over you and talk about me giving up or my hunger waning or my passion being extinguished, because I've never given them any reason to! I didn't take time to sit back and reflect on things like you did, I don't have that luxury as an option even if I WANTED...IT, ese'. And even though I'm genuinely glad to see that you're hungrier than you were before and your fire is burning stronger than before, words only give your boasts so much validation, vato, I'm going to need to see action, but it doesn't live and die with the Royal Rumble. It's a positive thing that you realized that you weren't hungry enough or passionate enough, but it's not going to do you a bit of good, holmes, because while your stomach is just beginning to feel the indication of hunger, I've already begun to eat. While you were sitting back and reflecting, I was actually getting something done, Kane. I was bringing attention and exposure to myself and this championship, because a true champion does two things if he's a good one, he fights to keep it and he makes it mean something.

My passion and hunger is greater than yours, but just because your realizations won't lead to success this Sunday doesn't mean you should lose the lesson, ese', and that's why I said it doesn't live and die with the Royal Rumble. If you're back to warn people with hellfire and brimstone and then carry it out, if you're truly back, then you've got to prove it. You've got to prove it to yourself, you've got to prove it to your older brother, you've got to prove it to your fans, but most importantly, you've got to prove it to Randy Orton, vato. But the best way to gauge that is this match, a war taking place on a battlefield that I've already told you you're disadvantaged at, despite how little you're actually heeding my word. Kane, if I'd been through what you've been through, I wouldn't have given up. As has been stated, it isn't who I am, it isn't what I do, and quite frankly guero, what happened to you is what the judicial system would call a slap on the wrist when you compare it to what happened to me. The falling out that you had with your brother that lead to your damaged face and the battles you would engage in over the years, you resolved that. When your father couldn't decide where his loyalties lay and left you high and dry, you resolved that.

So let me ask, Kane, where do you get off VICTIMIZING yourself when all of your wounds have scabbed and scarred over? I'm back in the public eye, sure, but I never should've been ejected from it. I never should've had to work my way back to where I am today, a five year battle to return to a respected and well-known wrestling company, and an additional three years to recapture this belt. I've examined this belt, Kane, it's the exact same Global Championship that was in the UCW, which means it's the one I held before, which makes my acquiring it so much sweeter than it would've been had it been a replica or a knock-off. Me winning the Global Championship all those years ago was a highlight in my career, vato, and that's because despite what they did to me to try and make the world forget Eddie Guerrero, I persevered and I earned my way back and I won title gold in spite of everyone. I wish all I'd gotten off with was a burnt face, Kane, those wounds experience some kind of healing. But the wounds I carry, there is no healing, there isn't strong enough thread to stitch closed these tarnished orifices. I don't pretend to be tough, vato, accusations like that suggest that I asked for all of this to happen to me!

Why would I do that? I had a great marriage with a wife I loved very much, raising daughters that I was very proud of and loved as well. I loved coming home to their smiles because they were the same smiles I got to put on the faces of the fans I was on the road performing for, except they tugged on my heartstrings more because I knew my familia personally. If I asked for anything, it was that I would be blessed enough to enjoy a full lifetime with that experience. Growing old with Vickie, seeing my daughters grow up and get married, enjoying the grandchildren coming over and seeing THEM grow. I didn't get any of that, cabron, Vince McMahon woke up that November morning and decided that Eddie Guerrero had to pay and he had to pay like no one that crossed the boss had ever paid before and hasn't paid since. What did I do to deserve it? I STILL can't get the old gringo to answer that question, but on the day that the big sleep comes knocking for him, I'll get that answer before he slips away. Until then, I'll get this question answered. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE CALLING ME A COWARD?

Eddie begins pacing back and forth, talking with his hands as he does.

You hit any other gringo in the back with a steel chair, he'd either walk away so it couldn't happen again or get up and fight. You hit the big...red...MONSTER with a chair and it's all he talks about for the next several weeks.

Eddie stops in place, not facing Kane.

But the difference between you holding a grudge against me over that and me holding a grudge against the world for what happened to me is execution.

Eddie pivots, facing Kane again as he points at him with the pointer finger on his free hand again.

You can't get past the event of me attacking you from behind, which is why you keep coming back to it, and ultimately it's you being stuck in that night that's going to be the final bludgeoning that kills your chances of taking the belt back. Me on the other hand, I channel what happened to me and I make it productive. The realm of madness I live and breathe within means that there exists no remorse, holmes, there is no mercy, and the numbed state I have dwindled into means just what I told you before, cabron, you cannot inflict pain on me. Your mental torment and emotional torture, the ravaging of my psyche you plan to take my strength with, you're trying to cut the blood supply off to something that's already desolate and dead, ese', there is nothing left of my emotions or my psyche for you to damage.

And that is why, though you may toss me into the mouth of the roaring fire, I will not wither away like discarded newsprint, instead I will come alive like gasoline so that the fire burns brighter and the flames bite the flesh more violently. You deem me as a man that has lost control of what he has lit, and honestly, that's what I was hoping you would say. I liken it to watching someone paint. Until you see the finished product of what they're creating, it appears as though they're just making a mess that will come out to be nothing. Just like now, you think I'M just making a mess, but I'm an artist at work, and my masterpiece will be the burnt body of the "Big Red Machine", vato.

The crowd erupts into boos as Eddie lowers his microphone again.​

 

[Slim]

Being silent as long as she could she grew tired and decides to raise her mic. First towards the new couple of AJ And CM Punk.



The best… Trish Stratus:

Dear… who are you again? You think that you have control of the mic? You think that these people out here actually give a shit about anything you have to say? You think that I’m heart broken that you chose Lita… that botch master over me? I don’t care. I’ve had legions of fans. The fact that you weren’t one is actually a blessing seeing the sad decrepit piece of crap that you became. Its no wonder that you were a fan of hers. And as far as you dating him and all that other lame shit you talked about… honestly… the only person that seems to care about that is you. But then again since nobody really gives a shit about you then you have to try to latch on to my nipples and suckle as hard as you can to get any kind of attention huh. Let me sum up everything about you in one word. Useless.

And as far as little Punky goes… glad he has a voice now but my goodness did we really pipe in these boos? I mean I stood there listening to you talk and my ass was about to pass out to damn boredom. But you did try to get a little dirty. Wipe your ass with the contract and shove it in my face? Honestly… you don’t have a set of balls big enough to even do that. You’re nothing but talk there. But then again when you have a little girl like that Useless tramp hanging on your arm… well its apparent that you have no standards and really just latching on to anything and everything that you can thinking that you are the least bit relevant in this thing. Get your ass out in the crowd and take a seat with the rest of those fans that are watching. THAT is about as close as you are going to get to any of the briefcases. Best in the world… biggest load of shit I’ve heard until… JOHNNY!

Trish’s demeanor lightens up as she looks at Johnny.

The best… Trish Stratus:

I know that you would want me to comment on everything you said about me but I’m going to level with you… I zoned out about two seconds into your spill but I’m sure it was about how you’re going to beat his ass (points to Bubba), his ass (points to Taker), his ass (points to Taker), and everyone else’s ass in the ring and how you don’t feel that you are a tool. So in other words… you wasted the time of everyone in here with your trivial pursuit of nothing. Just running your mouth thinking you are a big boy because you can talk for a few minutes and you believe that people are taking notice and listening. When really all the people are doing is waiting for your dumbass to shut up. But of course you wouldn’t comprehend that. You think you are some big shot. You think that you have some sort of momentum going for you and that you have a shot. Well take a briefcase. Really… I’m sure you can be a challenger for the tag team titles. Either that or some other low tier belt. Because really… the less we have to hear from you the better off everyone will be. Especially the likes of RVD and Bill there. How are you fine gentlemen doing?

Oh and if you two know where I can score some… please say it out loud so the cops can arrest your dumbasses. But I am curious if you are even going to make it to the arena or will you show up at the wrong one like… duuuuuuuuuude we missed. And then you light up another one right? Because its all good. Everything is good right. I mean I would lump you and Bubba together and just diss him some more but really… Tired of him but here is an old face. And before you get your panties in a bunch I’m not referring to your stupid age so don’t go on some boring tirade about how all people talk about is that you’re fifty something years old. I mean that gets so old… damn. You know what I’m saying right. Is that hearing aid of yours turned up? Sorry I couldn’t resist.

Trish directs her attention to Steve Borden and Matt Bloom.

The best… Trish Stratus:

But seriously… you are in the Royal Rumble. I guess you’re here to support your friend. I mean I guess since you like calling everyone by their real names and trying to be “cutting edge” with your exposure of things that you must think that going by your real name and A-Train or whatever… Sweet Booty T going by his real name makes you two gangster. Or some hardcore bad guys now. You got your new attitude and I have to say… you are a cure for insomnia. I mean really… I know listening to you I dozed off, woke up and I was like damn he is still talking. This is cruel and unusual punishment and I shouldn’t have to endure it. And neither should those people out there. They paid money to be entertained. Not be bored to sleep. I mean goodness just looking at you is making me drowsy… shoot screw both of you I hope Umaga takes out Bloom and then you for good measure. That way the torture of having to see your face can end. Paint your face for goodness sakes. Just shut up. And the same goes for you Bray.

Trish turns towards Bray and her smile widens.

The best… Trish Stratus:

It is indeed so funny Bray. You are the big bad dude in all of this. You are the one that people are supposed to be watching out for but really I’ve been around long enough to know that you are as vicious as declawed kitten. I mean I managed Edge and watched him destroy you time after time after time. Getting past you and your crazy talk is easy. But I do have to say I could listen to you all day talk on your delusions because that is just fun. It’s entertaining man. You are the only one in this ring other than me of course with some sort of personality. Something that isn’t so boring, overdone, and just plain flat out sucks. I mean really… did all of you take the same class at the same damn time and all graduate with a below average grade because all of you cheated off of each other or what? Every single one of you are carbon copies of the other and with a few minor differences you can cut and paste each thing that each of you says and apply it to the other and boom… you said the exact same thing that he said. All of you are just so damn irritating.

And the fact that each of you think that you stand a chance in this match is beyond laughable. I mean really… its almost hysterical if it wasn’t so sad that you all actually believe half of the crap that you are spewing to these people out there having to endure plain Joe and plain Joe B speak while Plain Joe C tries to be edgy and then says the same thing that the other two said. And then all of you think that Umaga is just some push over that you all can just run through. And then all of you think I’m a slut and then wish I had each of you for a client. I’d kill myself if I had to deal with any of you for longer than a day. Either that or kill you because I can only take so much bland boring nothings before I lose my damn mind and just have to slit your throat, rip out your trachea, and hang you with it just to be sure that you don’t ever utter another boring word again!

The crowd is starting to get behind Trish’s spirit as she starts to calm herself down.

The best… Trish Stratus:

But luckily for me I won’t have to dirty my hands for you lowlifes. Instead my client, yeah the one I chose because Rock is retired and Edge is… well I dunno… but my client Umaga is going to be here and he is going to do what he does best and that is destroy lives and take what he wants. Rags to Riches… history will be made because Umaga will walk out with the largest prize being a world title shot while the rest of you can limp and crawl trying to reach the others because I assure you that the pain that you all will have to endure will be immense.

Trish lowers her mic.​

 

[EffectsofRaven]

Dat fancy banner by Clicks.... People are trying to take mah job... /terrible attempt at South Park referencing...

 

[Nate]

 

[The Hoov]

As Cody lowers his microphone and shoots an evil smirk Goldust's way, the "Bizzare One" lifts his back up and replies.

Goldust: Baby brother, why is it that you surround yourself with illusions? Is it to guard you from the.....inevitable? I know all about your past transgressions and, believe me, Cody, no one is more impressed than your......big.....brother but, make no mistake about it Cody, you have never been inside of a squared circle with the likes of me. I'm not Dean Ambrose, I'm not a personal punching bag for you, baby brother. No.....no, I am your future, Cody. Take a gaze into the deep unknown, really relish in it because.....it's not until then that you become......completely......and utterly......free......in ever sense of the word. You have this idea of who or what you think I am but, Cody, you have no idea what lies ahead of you. The Royal Rumble will be anarchy, oblivion, a massacre.......a bloody insurrection. You see, I don't.....want.....to do this, baby brother. I need to do this......I have to do this......So that you will learn your place. Your mouth has been writing checks that, so far, you've been able to cash but.......this time.......that account will overdraw and you'll be stuck.......paying the penalties. I know what you're capable of doing, Cody, because I have watched from afar, studied......obsessively monitored your success......but you have a weakness......that I will be more than willing to exploit.......

Goldust then cocks his head to the side and looks at Cody.

Goldust: Do you think the demons only torture you? Do you think those.......voices......that plague you are yours and yours alone? No, baby brother, I suffer from the same ailment.....I have for years. You see, I have tried to brush them aside.......I can take off the facepaint off of the face......but I could never truly take the face away from the facepaint. This......this is who I am, baby brother and I have accepted that. I do not hide behind it......I embrace it with open arms......just like the madness......it's like a dear old friend to me now.......I remember being like you.....so young and naive......trying to fight the urge......but once I decided to fully give of myself......that I became......complete.......The question is, Cody, is not who I fear........but who do you fear? "The only thing you have to fear, is fear himself."

Goldust then turns away from Cody and surveys the entire ringside area.

Goldust: It's poetic.....isn't it? This will be a perfect spot for this all to end. The war to settle the score, so to speak. I can see it now......trumpets sound........"Oh bliss! Bliss and heaven! Oh, it was gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh. It was like a bird of rarest-spun heaven metal or like a silvery wine flowing in a spaceship, gravity all nonsense now. As I slooshied, I knew such lovely pictures!" Oh, baby brother.....we're going to make father so proud.......we're going to make Them proud, too. When They see what we've done, oh my dear sweet brother, the angels will sing out in an immaculent chorus.......the clouds will open and, amidst all of the twisted, burning wreckage.......muddling through the chaos.....we will transcend this existence......into something.....more. Cody, I can feel you're eyes on me know......waiting for me to make a move......but believe me, baby brother, you are completely safe......for now.....because our destiny doesn't lead to tonight......we save each other for the Royal Rumble.......It's there where we truly make history......oh, the past is funny, isn't it? We know exactly what happened.....and yet......we think it foresees what our future will be......but the horrifying truth is, Cody, is that it won't. Your legacy here in the UWF.......heh heh heh........it's through.......

Goldust then turns back very swiftly and gets right close to Cody and loks him dead in the eyes.

Goldust: My career doesn't not stop and start with where you place it. I have been.....reborn.......No longer am I the embarrassment I once was, Cody, and you can look deep into these......*inhales*......golden......*exhales* eyes of mine and you will know that the Reaper waits at the Royal Rumble to collect his prize and his prize......baby brother......will be you. By accepting this match.......by placing yourself in this situation.......you stumbled into something that you aren't ever......getting out of. We, we were destined to do this, Cody. We were brought here by fate.......We were lead by the hands of time to this moment........the Royal Rumble.......and that's where it all ends......for you. I'm here to put you out of your misery......you're hurting.....dying every single day.......as the sand falls through the cracks......as the days turn to hours........hours into minutes.........minutes into seconds......it all ticks.....away......End me? Heh heh.....No, baby brother, it's I who does the deed. I won't enjoy it......but I will do what is necessary. At the Royal Rumble........there is one certainty. It will be The End......."Viddy well, little brother. Viddy well."

Goldust then lowers his microphone and he and Cody glaare into each other's eyes as the crowd is losing their minds.​

 

[rawisrey]

​

Damien Sandow:

Reverend I do have an inquiry, how can you state you can "handle the fame" if you have no prior experience? For all the preaching, your sermons, your theatrics, let us remember the name that follows "reverend" which is D’Von. You so eloquently claimed I was nothing but a waste of space and oxygen, by the way be it symbolic or genetic, I am by no means your brother. But I bring up this childish insult for a reason, as it reveals you as just the same D’Von we've all seen for years. You haven't found your way, you haven't changed, you’re just the same simpleton whose claim to fame was setting up a table, a powerbomb, or a 3-D. You claim to be different but you’ve been with us for a while and you've changed before so all I see when I look at you is a disappointment. One that will go into the Royal Rumble preaching! And leave it asking high above, why he was misled.

Oh let's not forget, you brought up the same tired line all the others have about me having to reference a dictionary. How low society has sunk that all of you assume I walk around with a book to reference whenever I speak, my vernacular D'Von isn't false like your claims of faith, the topics I choose to speak about are not found in the pages of a book like yours, try to understand that those big difficult words that make your simple mind ache exist for a reason. Intellectuals like me understand there are more words in the English language than the ones you commoners choose to butcher in 140 characters or less. And speaking of books, the Good Book you push on to others is anything but...Good. I'm not speaking in a morale sense; I'm speaking in a literary basis. The book you and people like yourself hold so dear would only get "droll" as a good review from me, and that's not even mentioning the fact that with its cavalcade of characters that appear out of nowhere and disappear without reason, the "Greatest story" displays ignorance of the most basic storytelling rules. So do call me whatever you'd like, and claim even more, for I know that once the match has come upon us all there will be left of the reverend will be "D'Von" a name synonymous with failure

However I must say the line of people attempting to add their names as synonyms to words like “abhorrent, detestable, and despondent” is a long one. Mr. Callihan came out and put all his merit on the fact that he can fight. Now Mr. Callihan while I detest the colloquial use of the word “ain’t” I must say we have a few things in common. I have not been in an advertisement for the Raw or Smackdown brands or appeared on a Pay-Per-View event poster, mainly because I will not allow my image to be taken advantage of and be made associated with the rest of the filth on the program that I cannot be responsible for. I don’t have one of those commemorative cups nor am I on any of the other multi superstar cups this company shells out to the public, but that is because I will not have my image displayed on a vessel that holds high fructose corn syrup or any other of the concoctions these lowly people choose to put in their bodies. And although I’m sure you meant to lump me in with the rest of this…group…I am not a famous wrestlers son, I am not in the good graces of the people in charge, I keep my body in top condition which means I don’t overtly go for the toned look others do. Which means I don’t fit in the categories you belittled, But I am by no means a “fighter” or at least in your sense of the word, for in your addled mind you believe a true fighter must look like you. Have cicatrix all over…I apologize, look at who I’m talking to…Cicatrix is the scar of a healed wound. In any event, allow me to enlighten you on what an actual great fighter looks like.

Sandow holds his head up head closing his eyes and opening his arms, presenting himself to the world as the crowd boos.

For you having those broken bones and open wounds only points out that you are a bad fighter, I am an intellectual yes but I had the presence of mind to study great fighters and use their tactics with my knowledge of the human condition to beat anyone who stands before me without having to be scarred. So while now I am a composed man, in this ring I have the teachings of a “Killer” to prove my words to be more than just that.

Now Mr. Bryan, need I remind you that what you “always do” is raise your fingers in the air like some child celebrating that they will receive ice cream and shout out the word Yes for the crowd to follow along. I wonder why, in a world as mentally deficient as this, one word catchphrases like What or Yes are so popular…but there is one word I adore that you used…”Passion” why am I surprised you went the “passion” route. So you’re telling me Mr. Bryan that successful people in this world have unlimited amounts of this immeasurable substance called “passion” while the bedraggled and lowly losers that make up the rest of the world are burdened with useless qualities like Intelligence, Talent, and Energy. The winner of this match isn’t going to be who wants it more, if that were the case I’m sure most of these ignorant people would have a chance for they must want it more than their dreary lives today. Passion my lost friend is going to get you from the stage into the ring, once in there it goes out the window just like you will be going over the top rope while you’re busy worrying about the approval of these people instead of keeping your eyes on the prize.

As for you Mr. Styles, I have an inquiry for you as well. If you must work tirelessly every waking second to prove how great you are, how great does that truly make you? I would supposed if you were “the best” in this ring you shouldn’t have to work any other time outside of when you’re in the ring to prove it, See Mr. Styles I don’t worry about the hours that I’m not in front of these people, for in those hours I take care of myself by keeping well-groomed, enjoying an actual good book, or what have you. For I know I am the best in this ring, I.E. if you have studied every subject and know every answer then why must you keep working hard for the test? It is in our time of rest that the knowledge we learned, be it educational or physical based, becomes second nature. So, Unlike you I don’t have to work hard every minute to try and prove to these people I am great, for I know if I was truly great I wouldn’t need to prove it to anyone I’d simply need to show up and win.

But Mr. Ambrose believes I should thank Luck and only Luck for how far I’ve come, well Mr. Ambrose to quote principle author of the Declaration of Independence and third president of the united states Thomas Jefferson: “I'm a greater believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it”. Mr. Ambrose what you don’t recognize is that I use every advantage afforded me, if I have a team by my side I wouldn’t hesitate instructing them to assist, because in this world you must prove how good you are with what you have. Now I don’t have a team, so I must prove my worth alone and I have done just that and will continue to do so. How ironic though, that the man who used to not care what anyone thought of him not thinks he is the measuring stick. It’s nice to see the fame and notoriety of being the man who loses his big wins in a matter of weeks hasn’t gone to your head. I do wish you the best of what you called “luck” Mr. Ambrose, because I know that is what your whole career is based on. For you never truly earned anything, you were just lucky enough to be placed in those opportunities. You were nothing but an abhorrent hardcore “wrestler” when you and Bryan were lucky enough to be made the World championship match, you were lucky enough to get your title handed back to you after you lost it, lucky enough to immediately get your rematches after losing unlike me who has never received his rematch clauses for any title. You, Mr. Ambrose are Mr. Luck and as such I can’t wait to meet up with you in this ring, to show what luck gets you in the face of hard work and superior intellect.

Mr. Cena, my my the times change but you seem to only get more delusional. First of all, There has been one Royal Rumble in our history, the matches you bring up are simply modified versions, it would be like me claiming I know I’ll beat you in a Survivor Series elimination bout because I’ve bested you in a Tag team bout…although in those two cases it is true. But Mr. Cena let me remind you of something, I made a mistake at last year’s Royal Rumble, I ran to the ropes the Miz held on and I eliminated myself. A mistake that shall not be repeated, while you Mr. Cena were soundly tossed over the top rope by Eduardo Guerrero a man far smaller than you. So what does that say about your chances? Perhaps before you attempt to prove a point about someone’s past, you should look at your own and note that you of all people should not be claiming anything, for who knows if you will even still be around for your precious “cenation” come Wrestlemania. Knowing your selfish ways, if they don’t all cheer you, you might be gone by the time your number comes up.

And with that I come to the realization that attempting to speak with you troglodytes and ignoramuses is a lost cause. For all the “points” you all brought up are only further signs of the depth you’ve all sunk down. None of you know where to put your faith, what passion truly gets you, how to be a great fighter, what the difference between hard work and luck is, or what it means to truly fight for these people like I have instead of for these peoples admiration like the selfish lot of you have. So with that I bid you all a good day, a saviors work is never done so I must take my leave without incident. Before I leave however, I will say that I do not blame any of you. To the ones I spoke to now to the ones I’ve spoken too like Mr. Borden and Shark Boy, I forgive you all for you know not what you do. You are all lost in the sea of inequity and you have yet to see my beacon light of enlightenment in the harbor. One day, when you have been saved, you will look back on this time and know how wrong you were…and remember the time before my enlightenment as simply B.S. Before Sandow, for After Sandow you will be A.S. I envisioned you all…Enlightened…You’re Welcome

Sandow smiles out before he walks to the ropes and steps out to the ring apron, walking up the ramp with arms raised high as he leaves.
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