TNA can have a little Hulkamania V2.5 (2020 edition begins!)

[Sky]

https://wrestlingsmarks.com/threads/tna-can-have-a-little-hulkamania-v2.116879/page-4#post-1886064

Spoiler: old TEW2005 description

Since I finally worked out how to just sim a universe on TEW2005 (and lost the previous save for this), I'm going to let the game write episodes of Impact and PPVs and see how it books them. The database I'm using is a January 2010 database. I'll be giving the results of the shows and giving a brief description of how I, a human, think the matches designed by TEW2005, a computer, would happen.

From the Passive Observer Newsletter, January 1st, 2010...
All change at TNA, as the new Hogan/Bischoff regime cuts workers it considers to be dead weight.

Male: Bobby Lashley, Cody Deaner, Kiyoshi, Jeremy Buck, Jesse Neal, Max Buck, Raven, Rob Terry, Shark Boy
Female: Hamada, Lacey Von Erich, Madison Rayne
Non-Wrestlers: Christy Hemme, David Penzer, Jamie Tucker, Willie Urbina

 

[Chris]

Not Dave Penzer

 

[Sky]

Impact!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Philips Arena - Atlanta, GA​

1. Awesome Kong d. Roxxi. I guess Roxxi avoids her injury at New Year's Knockout Eve, as she makes it on to this show. Stil doesn't help her not lose to Kong, but...
2. X Division Championship - Doug Williams d. Amazing Red (c). Oh yes, it's time for the PROPER WRESTLING revolution. None of that high flying rubbish! Wankers! Double champion, I am, for Olde Englande!
3. Desmond Wolfe d. Eric Young. Pushing Wolfe early, are we? I like this.
4. Knockouts Championship - Tara (c) d. Alissa Flash. Quality women's wrestling! It's what TNA was still known for around this time! They get a decent bit of time, before Daffney - shockingly - attacks Alisha allowing Tara to retain!
5. Sting d. Matt Morgan. Big tall guys against big tall guys. What's not to like. I imagine Morgan will be stretched really far by the Scorpion Deathlock he's taking.
6. World Heavyweight Championship - AJ Styles (c) d. Kevin Nash. The fallout from the Main Event Mafia vs. TNA Frontline feud is still being felt, but AJ once again is the spirited champion dealing with the brick wall of Nash. Pele takes it. Match of the night.

Impact!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
The Coliseum - Bloomington, IL​

1. Global Championship - Eric Young (c) d. Magnus. Young insists on only giving title shots to non-American workers (so why did he give one against Wolfe...?) This match isn't very good.
2. Chris Sabin d. Alex Shelley. Another rematch from the old save! And it's a friendly, still. Sabin overcomes.
3. Hogan/Pope d. Lethal Consequences. Two ridiculously over faces win (though I'm not sure this would go over well with the real Hogan, having to team with the Pope. You know, because he's not a 7-foot basketball player).
4. Knockouts Championship - Tara (c) d. Alissa Flash d. Daffney. Logical booking! Even though I made it up to justify a computer! Widow 's Peak to Daffney. Hey, at least she's not getting her head cracked open by a toolbox. ODB gets in about after the match.
5. X Division Championship - Doug Williams (c) d. Homicide. Doug doesn't like high-flying, but did you also know he doesn't like fast-paced brawling? He likes to slow it down. No Cop Killas here, just Chaos Theory to retain.
6. World Heavyweight Championship - AJ Styles (c) d. Matt Morgan. How did Morgan earn this shot? Uh, by being big, I guess? Guess it's like that one Tomko match from real life. Doesn't matter as AJ retains.

Impact!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Roy Wilkins Auditorium - St. Paul, MN​

1. Team 3D d. Sarita/Wilde. I guess Team 3D ran out of male teams to crush. This is probably a disturbing squash.
2. Sabin/Lethal/Creed d. Williams/Shelley/Tomko. X Division 6-man, and Tomko. Full of great talent, and Tomko. Tomko gets pinned. Maybe I should have used the February 2010 database, this one doesn't even have the January 4 terrible signings. But maybe that's a good thing...
3. Daffney d. Traci Brooks. Yes, let's go Daffney. Build yourself up to challenge Tara again.
4. Mick Foley d. Eric Young. Hardcore because Foley hasn't been able to go for years. Mr. World Elite gets Socko'd. Notice he's not defending. Because Foley is American.
5. Dr. Stevie d. Homicide. The good doctor is back and he's better than ever! Also, being Homicide is suffering.
6. Sting/Angle d. Beer Money, Inc.. Yep, checks out. Old guys beating up-and-comers.

TNA Genesis 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Thompson-Boling Arena - Knoxville, TN​

1. D-Lo Brown d. Tomko. Random match between two non-draws, much? D-Lo hasn't even been seen on TNA in months, and yet his match is still decent, if very short.
2. Foley/Lethal d. Motor City Machine Guns. Do I smell tension between Shelley and Sabin? Wow. Even without Creed and instead shackled to a broken old man, Lethal beats them.
3. Creed/Young d. Daniels/Pope. Young teaming with an American? What is this? Well, he wasn't going to team with Mick Foley with how much he fucked him up three days ago.
4. World Tag Team Championship - The British Invasion (c) d. Roode/Devon. Speaking of foreigners, the Brits overcome this mismatched Beer Money/Team 3D combo (Team 3-Dollars??). I'm guessing Doug Williams is part of this because there's no X Division Championship match tonight.
5. Desmond Wolfe d. Hulk Hogan. Risky booking, TEW! Or maybe it's a fuck finish involving Chelsea or something. Hogan wouldn't put him over just like that. Unless he was Jacques Rougeau in Canada.
6. Knockouts Championship - Tara (c) d. Alissa Flash d. Daffney d. ODB. The challengers keep piling up, but Tara keeps knocking them down! She's a face, dammit! And a better face than she was in real 2010!
7. Knockouts Tag Team Championship - Sarita/Wilde (c) d. Traci/Roxxi. They are the only real women's tag team left! Feed them more!
8. Dr. Stevie d. Abyss. Guessing this is a Monster's Ball but TEW2005 doesn't book stips. Hey, this was an actual feud from 2009! Continuity!
9. Scott Steiner d. Matt Morgan. What is up with Matt Morgan these days? He's getting every single boot straight up his ass. At least he'll look good in the Steiner Recliner.
10. Brother Ray d. Suicide. Cooldown squash.
11. Kurt Angle d. Samoa Joe. Match of the night, obviously, because it's a rematch from one of TNA's most legendary feuds! Give it a good 20 minutes or so...
12. World Heavyweight Championship - AJ Styles (c) vs. Kevin Nash. ...because this main event doesn't need the time. It's a rematch from Impact, for crying out loud!

From issues of the Passive Observer Newsletter, January 2010...
A wedge has been driven between TNA founder Jeff Jarrett and his long-time friend, Don Harris of the Harris Brothers. Speculation has proven to be fruitless in finding a reason why.
Jeff Hardy, who was reported to be re-signing with TNA in the past weeks, revealed that the deal had fallen through due to a disagreement with former friend Mick Foley.
Daffney and Traci Brooks are not getting along at all backstage. Both sides have also lost friends in recent days: Bill Alfonso recently revealed that Daffney is no longer returning his calls, whilst Canadian independent mainstay Kelly Couture reported that Brooks seemed more distant.
Recent TNA release Christy Hemme has signed a deal to ring announce for F1RST Wrestling in Minnesota.

 

[Chris]

I like that you're assuming the stips since the computer doesn't book them

 

[Kiffy Lube]

I quite like this a lot. This is usually how I play TEW as it is. Just let the game generate the results. I will be followin'. You're gonna get a ton of repeat matches though.

 

[Chris]

I quite like this a lot. This is usually how I play TEW as it is. Just let the game generate the results. I will be followin'. You're gonna get a ton of repeat matches though.

I might actually do this with 2020 just for something low maintenance to keep running in the background when I'm bored and to see how stuff plays out in 2020 since I can't ever get around to playing the games

I don't mean to hijack your thread, Sky but any suggestions on which time period I should do if I do something similar?

 

[Sky]

Impact!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Agganis Arena - Boston, MA​

1. Knockouts Championship - Tara (c) d. ODB. This match is pretty sloppy, but ODB somehow manages to hold up until she gets Widow's Peaked.
2. Magnus d. Tomko. At least one young guy is getting pushed. This is... not a great match, but it sure does happen.
3. Eric Young d. Jay Lethal. He's not defending against Americans, but it doesn't matter as he piledrives Lethal right into the mat.
4. Knockouts Tag Team Championship - Sarita/Wilde (c) d. Daffney/Alissa. They've been bonded, maybe just a little, by their mutual experience of "being beaten up by Tara", but they still can't overcome this pair of fierce females. (I hate using that word.)
5. Scott Steiner d. Samoa Joe. Sigh. Steiner Must Win, I guess. Joe probably hates this.
6. Kevin Nash d. Kurt Angle. Double sigh.

Impact!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Chiles Center - Portland, OR​

1. Daniels d. Amazing Red. An X Division encounter that never gets any buzz because it gets no time. Got to make the time for Old Guys Talking, I guess.
2. Global Championship - Eric Young (c) d. D-Lo Brown. TNA management finally cracks down on Young and makes him defend his title against an American - maybe Bischoff makes him an offer. They make the mistake of letting D-Lo of all people be his challenger.
3. Knockouts Championship - Tara (c) d. Alissa Flash. They do it legit this time, and by legit I mean IN A STEEL CAGE! No interference this time - but Alissa gets Widow's Peaked anyways.
4. Chris Sabin d. D'Angelo Dinero. What happens when you take two talented, over workers and only give them three minutes? I guess you get the worst match of the night.
5. X Division Championship - Consequences Creed d. Doug Williams (c). And the reign of terror of the flyer-hating Brit is over! Celebrate good times, come on!
6. Dr. Stevie d. Scott Steiner. And the inexplicable push of Stevie Richards continues. At least Stevie Kick is one of the finishers that Steiner's not too stiff to take.

From the Passive Observer Newsletter, February 5, 2010...
TNA and ABC have announced a deal to produce a show called "TNA Essentials" on an ABC-owned channel. No word yet of what this new programming will entail.

Impact!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Michigan State Fairgrounds Coliseum - Detroit, MI​

1. Hulk Hogan d. D-Lo Brown d. D'Angelo Dinero d. Suicide. At least, that's how I interpreted it. By the wording of TEW, this could well be a handicap match where Hogan beat 3 men. I'll say it's this, for the sake of my sanity. D-Lo gets leg dropped.
2. Knockouts Tag Team Championship - Sarita/Wilde (c) d. Alissa/ODB. And the Sarita/Wilde juggernaut rolls on, on, on.
3. Homicide/Rhino/Abyss d. Williams/Daniels/Morgan. Standard six-man tag, you know? Gore to Morgan.
4. Tara d. Awesome Kong. Not for the title, you'll notice. Maybe Kong could have been a credible challenger for Tara.
5. X Division Championship - Consequences Creed (c) d. James Storm. The American way, apparently, involves taking on challengers much larger than you. But Creed still wins it!
6. World Heavyweight Championship - AJ Styles (c) d. Eric Young. AJ vs. EY! World Champ vs. Global Champ! This could be a PPV main event if, you know, you'd actually built it and not had Young look like a paper champ. This caps off what TEW rates as a poor show.

Impact!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Coliseo Roberto Clemente - San Juan, PR​

1. Knockouts Tag Team Championship - Sarita/Wilde (c) d. Daffney/ODB. And so, each combination of the three challengers for Tara has failed to unseat Sarita and Wilde. Maybe they should team up, three-on-two.
2. Mick Foley d. Matt Morgan. Chair shots! Chair shots everywhere! Cactus DDT on to a chair? We got those!
3. Team 3D d. Sabin/Suicide. This mismatched pair of flyers (Kazarian is still under the mask, remember) is dealt with by a 3D. Maybe leave out some of the chairs from Foley/Morgan for shenanigans.
4. Knockouts Championship - Tara (c) d. Alissa Flash. Alissa just can't hack it. It's sad.
5. EY/Storm d. Lethal Consequences. I guess this is a continuation of the Creed/Storm feud? It's a nice one, ending with stereo superkicks to Lethal because that's the good shit.
6. Kurt Angle d. Dr. Stevie. So much for the push, eh, Stevie? Or not, because after this match Stevie demands a World Title shot! And gets it!

Against All Odds 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Welsh-Ryan Arena - Evanston, IL​

1. Alex Shelley d. Amazing Red. Shelley finally gets some momentum back in this X Division clash. You love to see it.
2. Awesome Kong d. Traci Brooks. A good old squash.
3. Robert Roode d. Magnus. Roode's spent way too much time away from Storm and way too much time not winning, so he overpowers this fake gladiator.
4. James Storm d. Suicide. Roode and Storm flank each other for their matches, and congratulate each other. Wholesome, good tag team things.
5. Desmond Wolfe d. Mick Foley. Wolfe's quietly going on a legend killer run here! This has to be hardcore, though, which doesn't help the hepatitis thing.
6. Global Championship - Eric Young (c) d. Homicide. "Puerto Ricans aren't Americans, right?" -heel EY, probably.
7. X Division Championship - Consequences Creed (c) d. D'Angelo Dinero. These two get decently over. Why not push Pope after this event? Oh yeah, because you're a machine.
8. Knockouts Tag Team Championship - Sarita/Wilde (c) d. Daffney/ODB. And the running against a brick wall continues.
9. Samoa Joe d. Abyss. Joe + hardcore = buys?? I hope so.
10. Knockouts Championship - Tara (c) d. Alissa Flash. More brick wall-running.
11. Team 3D d. Sting/Steiner. I'm down with this result, as it involves past-it guys not winning.
12. World Heavyweight Championship - AJ Styles (c) d. Dr. Stevie. Stevie gets his shot, but loses to the Styles Clash after what is admittedly a fairly competitive match.

From assorted issues of the Passive Observer Newsletter, February 2010...
Sting has fallen out with Scott Hall. This may be connected to Scott Hall's current, very public downward spiral into addiction. At one time, Sting lived the party life, but renounced this after becoming a born-again Christian. Perhaps he suggested this route to Hall one too many times...
Ex-WWE and ECW star, Rob Van Dam, currently working for IWS, had only harsh words for supposed friend and comrade Samoa Joe on a local radio show recently.
Ex-WWE star, Ken Anderson, has "lost all respect" for his former boss, Vince McMahon.
In sad news, the legendary Verne Gagne has passed away. Our thoughts go to his loved ones.

 

[Sky]

I don't mean to hijack your thread, Sky but any suggestions on which time period I should do if I do something similar?

There's apparently a real mod that starts around the YES Movement era, maybe you wanna do that

 

[Kiffy Lube]

Progessin' nicely. Also RIP Verne.

 

[Sky]

Early March 2010​

(I'm going to make each update cover less time because now TNA has two major shows!)

From the Passive Observer Newsletter, Monday, February 22, 2010...
TNA Essentials is now scheduled to broadcast Mondays at 11pm on the main ABC channel, starting next week. Despite the major slot, it's not expected to draw ground-breaking ratings, going back to back with Raw, but at least they weren't foolish enough to run it against WWE's longest-running weekly show.

Impact!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Silver Spurs Arena - KIssimee, FL​

1. Hulk Hogan d. Magnus d. Daniels. Oh, no, TEW, what are you doing?? Again, I could have interpreted this as a handicap match but didn't.
2. Team 3D d. Sarita/Wilde. Why do you keep booking this??
3. Mick Foley d. Doug Williams. Another thing Doug Williams hates: hardcore. He gets hardcore'd on, with some British weapons probably. I bet Doug secretly wishes he was back in the UK working World of Sport rules.
4. Knockouts Championship - Tara (c) d. Alissa Flash. Will Alisha ever make it? Will I ever make it??
5. Dr. Stevie d. Hernandez. Stevie keeps some momentum here, dealing with the big bulky Mexican.
6. World Heavyweight Championship - AJ Styles (c) d. Desmond Wolfe. Just gonna give away this brilliant technical match, huh? Just gonna put it on free TV? I don't understand the whims of computers.

Essentials - Series Premiere
Monday, March 1, 2010
US Naval Academy Alumni Hall - Annapolis, MD​

1. Global Championship - Eric Young (c) d. Magnus. Four title matches tonight to kick off this major step in a major direction for TNA. EY gets a decent match out of Magnus before piledriving him right into the canvas.
2. Mick Foley d. Alex Shelley. A "Steel Chair Scramble" match where the corners of the ring bear chairs of varying sizes on poles. Shelley grabs them, but Mick ends up using them.
3. Suicide d. Doug Williams. He's coming alive, and he's here to strike a blow for high-flyers everywhere! Come on, TNA, sign someone new...
4. Knockouts Championship - Alissa Flash d. Tara (c). She's done it, and on this grand stage too! The girlhood dream (well, sort of) has come true! We all believed in her! At least, I believed in her! Let's go Flash!
5. X Division Championship - Consequences Creed (c) d. James Storm. Yep, we get a crowd-pleasing win as we go into the main event. Finish involves him getting hit by the Last Call but avoiding defeat in some way, by being knocked into the ropes or corner.
6. World Heavyweight Championship - AJ Styles (c) d. Samoa Joe. What better place for Joe to cash in his Feast or Fired shot? Somewhere AJ wasn't prepared, actually, but I'll let this slipup slide because this is the rightful match of the night. This is a pretty strong card, does it mean Impact will become a secondary show of sorts?

Impact!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Dallas Convention Center Arena - Dallas, TX​

1. Mick Foley d. Alex Shelley. Rematch from Essentials, but with fewer gimmicks so more sloppy. Mick still takes it.
2. Chris Sabin d. Homicide d. Tomko. I'm thinking Homicide hits the Cop Killa on Tomko and Sabin steals the scraps. That shows how I feel about Tomko being a regular, really.
3. Global Championship - Eric Young (c) d. Jay Lethal. It's one of those contractually-mandated "come on, you have to let the Americans have a go" defenses. Lethal puts up more of a fight, though, looking to make Lethal Consequences an all-champion team.
4. Knockouts Championship - Alissa Flash (c) d. Sarita. No rest period for Alissa - but she puts on a very good show defending against Sarita. I hope this is the future of the Knockouts division. Except with more Daffney.
5. X Division Championship - Consequences Creed (c) d. Samoa Joe. Oof. Joe's had two title shots this week and lost both.
6. Brother Devon d. Hernandez. ...Really? In a show with a hot X Division title match, you give the main event slot to these two? No wonder this show only got a C+.

Essentials
Monday, March 8, 2010
McCarthey Athletic Center - Spokane, WA​

1. Awesome Kong d. ODB. Power on power, but the crowd gets the feeling that these two are far off their best.
2. X Division Championship - Consequences Creed (c) d. Magnus d. D'Angelo Dinero. Magnus gets destroyed in this match. Absolutely humbled. It's a question of who can finish him first, and the answer is Creed!
3. Knockouts Championship - Alissa Flash (c) d. Sarita. Yep, same match again. Remember the Knockouts Tag Team Championships?
4. Rhino d. Alex Shelley. A 5-minute challenge: If Shelley can avoid the Gore for 5 minutes, he wins. He can't.
5. Abyss d. Samoa Joe. Joe's slipping. That lost title shot to AJ must have shot his confidence...
6. Kurt Angle d. Eric Young. Young's not defending, because Angle's the Americanest American there is! Of course he won't hand a title shot to Angle! But he sure should, as Angle manages to tap him out.

Impact!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Agganis Arena - Boston, MA​

1. Matt Morgan d. Jay Lethal. Carbon Footprint, done. Crowd trashes this, which leads to an indifference for the next few matches.
2. X Division Championship - Consequences Creed (c) d. Alex Shelley d. Magnus. It's sad to see Creed and Shelley met with scorn. The crowd's half-expecting Hogan to show up, clown on everyone here, and leave.
3. Knockouts Championship - Alissa Flash (c) d. Sarita. Maybe it's not helped that Sarita keeps getting these opportunities and losing them. Come on, TNA, freshen up your roster.
4. Velvet Sky d. Taylor Wilde. First appearance of Velvet here, and she gets a hand win. Not a good week for the Knockouts Tag Champions.
5. Dr. Stevie d. Kurt Angle. For some reason, the crowd is hyped for this. Stevie Kick gets a huge pop...
6. World Heavyweight Championship - AJ Styles (c) d. Brother Devon. ...and that somehow continues to the next match, despite it featuring Devon.

From assorted issues of the Passive Observer Newsletter, early March 2010...
Backstage road agent. Pat Kenney (ECW's Simon Diamond) has extended his deal with TNA, saying he's "in for the long haul". Also renewing their TNA deals are Kevin Nash and Abyss.
Speaking of Nash, he is yet to respond after Roddy Piper trashed him on radio recently.
Daniels praised Hernandez as a hard worker on Southern California radio recently - these comments seemed to come from the heart. Critical of Daniels around the same time, however, was Tony Mamaluke. Most of his comments remain unprintable.
The latest to join in criticism of Sting has been Booker T, who calls the former WCW, NWA and TNA World Champion "way too preachy".
Spike Dudley and the other former Dudleys no longer see eye-to-eye, it seems. Neither do TNA's Alex Shelley and his former co-worker Raven.
Women's wrestling pioneer, Mae Young, has passed away. Our thoughts go to her loved ones.

 

[Chris]

Dr. Stevie and Devon the future

 

[Kiffy Lube]

I hope ya continue with this, I love readin' this randomness.

 

[Sky]

Essentials
Monday, March 15, 2010
Shrine Auditorium - Los Angeles, CA​

1. Doug Williams d. Homicide. RIP Homicide. Doug decides that if he can't hold a singles belt, he'll fuck up a guy's neck with German suplexes.
2. Knockouts Championship - Alissa Flash (c) d. Traci Brooks. Pretty good match, but crowd doesn't appreciate it.
3. Samoa Joe d. D'Lo Brown. Slaughter. Absolute slaughter. It's not even fair.
4. Knockouts Tag Team Championship - Sarita/Wilde (c) d. Daffney/ODB. Can no combination of two women topple the champs?!
5. Team 3D d. Hernandez/Rhino. Big fuckin' guys, going at it. SuperMex takes a 3D.
6. Nash/Stevie d. Motor City Machine Guns. Sigh.

Impact!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
The Pavilion - Scranton, PA​

1. Global Championship - Eric Young (c) d. Homicide. When asked why he hadn't given the shot to Doug Williams, who had actually won his match on Essentials, Young was heard to say, "Who are you to... to doubt El Homicidio?". Maybe I made that up.
2. X Division Championship - Consequences Creed (c) d. Alex Shelley. Speaks for itself, really. Impact is the A-Show!
3. Knockouts Championship - Alissa Flash (c) d. Sarita. Sorry, no double championship for you, Sarita. This one is a banger, so that makes up for it.
4. Team 3D d. Hernandez/Foley. Minimise Foley's involvement and have Hernandez eat another 3D.
5. Scott Steiner d. Dr. Stevie. Stevie's push is not quite there yet, it seems.
6. AJ Styles d. Kevin Nash. See, convention dictates that the heel challenger would win the non-title match by fucky means in order to set up a PPV match, but no one let Russo in on that.

Destination X
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Amway Arena - Orlando, FL​

1. Pope/D'Lo d. Joe/Red. You've let everyone down, Red. Samoa Joe is disappointed with your flippy shit being unable to overcome D'LO FUCKING BROWN. The man that Joe choked out in minutes on Essentials. Guess he's getting laid out after the match.
2. L.A.X. d. Foley/Lethal. This is marked as just Hernandez and Homicide in TEW, but fuck it, I'm calling it an LAX reunion.
3. Awesome Kong d. Daffney. Sadly, a squash.
4. Suicide d. Eric Young. Young announces after the match that it's non-title, because Suicide's under a mask so he can't tell if the guy's American or not.
5. World Tag Team Championship - The British Invasion (c) d. Motor City Machine Guns. Good clean (except for Magnus cheating instead of wrestling) title match.
6. James Storm d. Abyss. Call it some shit like a "Beer Drinker's Ball" and have sugar glass bottles and gimmicked kegs all over the ring. Because that's the good shit.
7. Rhino d. Tomko. Gore. Done.
8. X Division Championship - Consequences Creed (c) d. Robert Roode. Because when you think X Division, you think Robert Roode. Or no, you don't, because he loses.
9. Daniels/Morgan d. Hogan/Wolfe. Hogan really is putting guys over in this save, huh? He gets smashed by a Carbon Footprint in the end.
10. Knockouts Championship - Alissa Flash (c) d. Sarita. Good match again! The Knockouts roster does seem thin, though.
11. Velvet/Traci d. Tara/Wilde. Cooldown match, I guess, with Traci Brooks doing the heavy lifting.
12. World Heavyweight Championship - AJ Styles (c) d. Brother Devon. Homegrown guy beats WWE guy, again.

Essentials
Monday, March 22, 2010
Coliseo Roberto Clemente - San Juan, PR​

1. Magnus d. Jay Lethal. Being Lethal is suffering.
2. Knockouts Championship - Alissa Flash (c) d. Traci Brooks d. Roxxi. Roxxi's reward for extending her deal is... eating a pin!
3. Samoa Joe d. Chris Sabin d. Daniels. A weak Essentials is perked up by this match.
4. Knockouts Tag Team Championship - Sarita/Wilde (c) d. ODB/Daffney. Head, meet brick wall.
5. X Division Championship - Consequences Creed (c) d. Eric Young. Creed's too American for this match to be for the Global title too, so it's just a retention.
6. AJ Styles d. James Storm. Still soaked with beer after last night, Storm is overcome. Still, you've got 2 TNA Originals in the main event! That's new!

Impact
Thursday, March 25. 2010
Telford Ice Rink - Telford, Shropshire, GBR​

1. Team 3D d. Foley/Sabin. Once again, Foley is basically a passenger.
2. Awesome Kong vs. Taylor Wilde (Time Limit Draw). Admittedly, that's what happens when you only have a 10-minute time limit.
3. Wolfe/Homicide/D'Lo d. Pope/Shelley/Magnus. Extremely random tag team match. What the fuck.
4. Knockouts Championship - Alissa Flash (c) d. Sarita. Again...
5. X Division Championship - Robert Roode d. Consequences Creed (c). Rest in peace, X Division. You now have a heavyweight holding your belt.
6. Scott Steiner d. Kurt Angle. Sigh.

From assorted issues of the Passive Observer Newsletter, late March 2010...
Of course, the biggest shock of all recently has been at WrestleMania. In a white-hot main event, Chris Jericho not only became World Heavyweight Champion, but shattered the Undertaker's WM streak at 17-1 in the process! The main event, memorable not just for the finish but the incredible quality of wrestling, lifted a show that was light on good in-ring action. The only other highlights were D-Generation X beating the Straight Edge Society to retain the Unified Tag Team Titles, and Kofi Kingston overcoming Matt Hardy, The Big Show, and the Great Khali in an elimination four-way.
Roxxi has extended her deal with TNA, dedicating herself full time to the company. As such, she will no longer appear in SHIMMER or JAPW.
Apparently, a backstage argument in WWE had to be broken up. The participants were Luke Gallows and Santino Marella...
Canadian promotion BSE Pro appears to be expanding a great deal, signing up legends such as Bret Hart and Mad Dog Vachon as non-wrestling figures and spokespeople.

 

[Chris]

"Young announces after the match that it's non-title, because Suicide's under a mask so he can't tell if the guy's American or not."

Also Jericho breaking the streak

 

[Sky]

Essentials
Monday, April 5, 2010
Hull Ice Arena - Kingston upon Hull, East Yorkshire, GBR​

1. Matt Morgan d. D'Lo Brown. Why are you still using D'Lo??
2. Homicide d. Doug Williams. Returning the favour on the neck-fucking-up, Doug eats a Cop Killa. This Number 1 Contender match for the Global Title is the highlight of a poor show.
3. Knockouts Championship - Sarita d. Alissa Flash (c). She's done it! Sarita is a double champion, and surely no one can stop her. No one on this roster, anyway.
4. Abyss/Suicide/Hernandez d. Pope/Shelley/Magnus. Remember Team Fly from the last sim? They're together again. Without their name, though. And they win, alongside Hernandez.
5. X Division Championship - Robert Roode (c) d. Samoa Joe. This sure is an X Division you've got here.
6. Brother Ray d. Scott Steiner. Not a Bully yet, but close.

Impact!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Princes Hall - Aldershot, Hampshire, GBR​

1. Taylor Wilde d. Tara. She really has fallen from grace since dropping the title, hasn't she?
2. Global Championship - Eric Young (c) d. Homicide. At least he didn't lose last show.
3. X Division Championship - Robert Roode (c) d. Jay Lethal. Crowd is screaming for Lethal to win this but he gets jobbed out. Sigh.
4. Knockouts Championship - Sarita (c) d. ODB. Clears the first hurdle in a horrid, sloppy match. ODB's off her game.
5. Kurt Angle vs. Consequences Creed (Double DQ). American vs. American, top quality wrestlers, and they go to a double DQ for some reason. Does this set up a PPV match? Does it fuck.
6. Dr. Stevie d. Desmond Wolfe. Wolfe working face for one night only, but gets rolled over. This is very much unpopular.

Essentials
Monday, April 12, 2010
Mark G. Etess Arena - Atlantic City, NJ​

1. Knockouts Championship - Sarita (c) d. Daffney. Yep. Thankfully Daffney's getting an opportunity.
2. Brutus Magnus d. Jay Lethal. RIP Lethal, I guess.
3. Daniels d. Chris Sabin. This match got no time so I can't call it a good one.
4. Abyss d. Desmond Wolfe d. Doug Williams d. D'Angelo Dinero. Three popular guys fall to Big Guy. What is this booking?
5. X Division Championship - Robert Roode (c) d. Matt Morgan. Morgan's in the X Division?? I'm not even going to question it anymore.
6. Dr. Stevie d. Samoa Joe. Good match, best match of the night, but the wrong result. The fans go home miserable once again.

Impact!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Brown County Veterans Memorial Arena - Green Bay, WI​

1. Team 3D d. Shelley/D'Lo. Why?
2. X Division Championship - Robert Roode (c) d. Doug WIlliams d. Magnus d. D'Angelo Dinero. X Division, ladies and gents. Maybe Robert Roode is a shitbag heel who's holding it hostage from flyers, like Williams did in real life.
3. Eric Young d. Chris Sabin. This time, it doesn't even matter that it was non-title.
4. Knockouts Championship - Sarita (c) d. Daffney. Can no one stop Sarita? Daffney sure can't.
5. Angle/Stevie d. Lethal Consequences. Oh hey, a tag team actually getting to team. Jay Lethal's streak of eating pins continues, though.
6. AJ Styles d. Kevin Nash. Why are you still pushing Nash?

Essentials
Monday, April 19, 2010
Aberdeen Exhibition and Conference Centre - Aberdeen, Scotland, GBR​

1. Desmond Wolfe d. Brutus Magnus. They expect this crowd to cheer an English man, but it's a Scottish crowd, so there's no way.
2. Matt Morgan d. D'Lo Brown. Smol Sky is watching this in the crowd, by the way. She's bored. And she still doesn't know why I'd refer to her in that way, but she sure will find out.
3. Team 3D d. Sarita/Wilde. Come on, this shit again? Make some tag teams! Sign some tag teams! Sky is annoyed.
4. Motor City Machine Guns d. Doug Williams/Jay Lethal. Lethal gets pinned. Again. Sky likes Lethal, but not too much.
5. X Division Championship - Robert Roode (c) d. James Storm. Beer Money EXPLODE???? Probably not really. But still, this is not X Division.
6. Scott Steiner d. Dr. Stevie. Sky likes this result, but goes home with mixed feelings. She wishes that Impact were near her instead of this show.

Impact!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Siegel Center - Richmond, VA​

1. X Division Championship - Robert Roode (c) d. Desmond Wolfe. Damn, Desmond. Back at it again with the losing.
2. Team 3D d. Foley/Homicide. Dang. Team 3D cannot stop winning.
3. Knockouts Championship - Sarita (c) d. Daffney d. ODB. Even in a three-way, they can't topple her!
4. Chris Sabin d. Hulk Hogan. WHOA!! Hulk puts a guy over clean on free TV! This is madness!
5. Scott Steiner d. Eric Young. Non-title because Scott is American, and there's nothing more American than shouting and taking drugs!
6. Kurt Angle d. AJ Styles. And speaking of Americans on drugs... Hopefully this sets up a Lockdown match.

Lockdown
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Omaha Civic Auditorium - Omaha, NE​

1. Taylor Wilde d. Traci Brooks. Very decent opener with good result.
2. World Tag Team Championship - The British Invasion (c) d. Daniels/Pope. Someone else team up, fuck.
3. Alissa Flash d. Awesome Kong. HUGE little vs. big victory. This should set her up for a Knockouts Title shot. Key word, should.
4. Hogan/Wolfe d. Motor City Machine Guns. The Hulkster giveth, the Hulkster taketh away, the Hulkster leg droppeth Chris Sabin to even it up.
5. Suicide d. Brother Devon. Remember when Devon challenged for titles?
6. Consequences Creed d. Jay Lethal. More partner vs. partner matches? Why??
7. Velvet Sky d. Tara. Velvet's 3-0 in this save. You're sleeping on her.
8. Global Championship - Eric Young (c) d. Homicide. This will likely lead to some Good Shit(TM) involving the steel cage.
9. X Division Championship - Robert Roode (c) d. James Storm. What, again?
10. Knockouts Championship - Sarita (c) d. Daffney. Don't worry, Daffney. If you've learned anything from Alissa Flash, you just need to get a million title shots and eventually you'll win one.
11. Steiner/Sting d. Angle/Nash. Been a long time since we've seen Sting, huh? He goes over.
12. World Heavyweight Championship - AJ Styles (c) d. Brother Ray. That's both of Team 3D on 2 consecutive PPVs.

From assorted issues of the Passive Observer Newsletter, April 2010...
Don West, despite leaving the commentary desk, has re-signed with TNA. He's returning to his classic career as a pitchman, hyping up ShopTNA.com.
Hulk Hogan and Big Show seem to have drifted apart. Meanwhile in other bad news for veterans in TNA, Chris Jericho and Ashley Massaro both trashed Mick Foley on local radio.
Christopher Daniels has fallen out with Shane Ballard of the Ballard Brothers. In other news, people now remember that the Ballard Brothers exist. A more significant friendship broken is Dusty Rhodes with Brother Ray.
There's pretty much no chance of former colleagues Daffney and Roxxi working civilly together again, according to some sources.