The WS Mental Health and Empathy Thread

[Doom]

You are welcome, and yeah, this place so far seems pretty cool and welcoming no matter who you.

You've come to the right place. We have a lot a wonderful people on here. We care about each other and we care about you.

 

[Sabretooth]

First off, I will say I am glad a thread like this exists. Second, I will say that I have been diagnosed with serve GAD, SAD, OCD, and Major Depression as well as being Agoraphobic, Enochlophobic, and Anthropophobic. All of which I am currently getting help for after deciding that I want to get better not only for myself, but for my nieces because I have missed several important events in their lives and hit me hard. On top of that I am a recovering hikikomori, or shut in for those that don't speak Japanese, and that has been challenge in itself. I essentially never left my parent's house and if I did it was only to go to store down the road and back in less than 20 minutes. Don't worry though, I wasn't a shut in who was gross and never bathed, quite the opposite as keeping and being clean was and is a major thing of my OCD.

We’re pretty cool and so are you. Stay a while.

 

[Vegeta]

You are welcome, and yeah, this place so far seems pretty cool and welcoming no matter who you.

Pretty much the only way not to be welcomed here, is having outdated social views, but there’s rules that cover all that haha. But yeah other than that we welcome pretty everyone

 

[Kenoh]

Pretty much the only way not to be welcomed here, is having outdated social views, but there’s rules that cover all that haha. But yeah other than that we welcome pretty everyone

That is reasonable.

 

[Storm Trooper]

First off, I will say I am glad a thread like this exists. Second, I will say that I have been diagnosed with serve GAD, SAD, OCD, and Major Depression as well as being Agoraphobic, Enochlophobic, and Anthropophobic. All of which I am currently getting help for after deciding that I want to get better not only for myself, but for my nieces because I have missed several important events in their lives and hit me hard. On top of that I am a recovering hikikomori, or shut in for those that don't speak Japanese, and that has been challenge in itself. I essentially never left my parent's house and if I did it was only to go to store down the road and back in less than 20 minutes. Don't worry though, I wasn't a shut in who was gross and never bathed, quite the opposite as keeping and being clean was and is a major thing of my OCD.

I'm glad you're here. You are good people and around other good people. Glad you're getting help.

 

[Kenoh]

I'm glad you're here. You are good people and around other good people. Glad you're getting help.

Thank you, and I am glad I am getting help, too. It has been a struggle, but medicine and therapy has been working well.

 

[Rosie]

You know, I think I might as well make this post, just get a lot of shit off my chest.

For nearly the past year, I have been suffering majorly from anxiety and depression. I also am 99% sure I'm on the spectrum for Autism, something which has been undiagnosed for my 26 years of life which has made coping with life after school difficult. I think I've always had some anxiety, the ability to worry about something seemingly so minor, but I think over the past year, when it has come to doing anything in regard to applying for jobs, studying for the bar exam, anything related to it, I have been constantly paralyzed. After getting one meeting/informal interview with a firm, I sort of fell off and stopped. When I haven't been struggling with that, I tried to throw myself into hobbies. At one point, I was drawing nearly every day for a month, and until recently, I was going ham for stuff in FWA. But I think I've been using all of it as a distraction or a coping tool. Maybe just find something to give myself a little joy. Because it's been very easy for me to go on a spree of self loathing. Words like "Worthless" or "Not good enough" always were part of my vocabulary in regards to those rants. It'd be often associated around the job hunt but at times transitions into just other parts of life and me as a person. Then I'd make some progress working on a resume, applying for a small job to maybe bridge the gap, but get no response or declined. Then I'd be frozen mentally for a few days. I'd make my CV, triple check it, but then stop. I'd think "Look at this, nobody will hire you." And I'd not apply. Or I'd look at a list of jobs and save dozens of them only to maybe apply for one or two.

In December, I sent an email off to an employment counselor to maybe get help with that stuff, only for the email to be an automated thing saying "Fill this out" and there being no link or attachment, leaving myself stuck and being too scared to even pick up the phone. Then add the financial stress of not working for some time and having student loans and your bank breathing down your neck. I got my loans sorted and likely will have a period of relief/non paying of loans while I'm not working, but I've been frozen at the thought of calling my bank or picking up the phone when they call.

As for Autism, look, I know it isn't this bad thing. I've had friends on the spectrum before, I know there's likely members of the site on it as well. It isn't this evil disease or a curse and everyone is different. But I know I have a lot of issues with controlling and understanding my emotions. I have a hard time understanding social cues, even online, and always do something to put my foot in my mouth or say or do something innocently but not thinking of the consequences. I genuinely can think of one situation somewhat recently where it resulted in a friend blocking me and me wanting to yeet myself off a bridge after. Then another where I couldn't understand the intent behind what someone said and let it get to me. I think especially I get "hyperfixated" on things easily. Wrestling (duh), Pokemon, my plushies, baseball, e-feds, when I was really young it was hockey. I'd talk someone's ear off about something, not realizing they don't care, or they tell me to shut up about it. A number of signs are there. But, even if I said it's not a bad thing, it's sort of frustrating because until I get tested for it, I don't want to treat myself as if I have it. I also don't want to use potentially having it as an excuse for saying or doing stupid shit. If I had known sooner, then honestly I'd maybe learn different ways to cope, manage my emotions, maybe I also would have got some accommodations during Law school and that could have made my experience there a touch easier? But maybe I also wouldn't have been as hard on myself for certain mistakes. (Also, a greater percentage of Autistic people identify as LGBTQ, so I guess that might also put my gender dysphoria into context).

The past several months have been just rough, with the past week especially has been rough. I go to bed around 1am, 1:30, get up at 11 half the time (though I blame some on my brother's snoring) because my brain is constantly running it takes so long to calm down and fall asleep. Then during the day when I try to do something productive I just freeze. Then I just resort to lying down for 2-3 hours. Yesterday I opened my resume, made some minor changes, but yet as I was looking at some of those mistakes I kept thinking "Jesus fuck, you show this to someone? Pathetic." And when I was asked if I called the bank, I cried. I actually cried.

Every day I keep thinking about how pathetic I am. I keep thinking I'm this freak or loser. I have thought about certain things I probably shouldn't but no genuine effort to do it, so I guess that's something? But I get asked if I want to do something but I turn it into a whole spree thinking I don't deserve shit, or I'm going to fuck things up in some way. Some fucking way so minor or not, then everyone hates me, or that nobody will care about me that they're better off without me. But I shouldn't think these things. People tell me I'm not, maybe some of you will tell me I'm the opposite and that "Oh, you're just down on your luck, or on this rough patch" and "You're not this horrible person." But it doesn't change the fact I've felt this for months.

I just... I just need fucking help.

 

[Canadian Dragon]

Hi Beavz,

First off I am really sorry that you are going through that and that's a very hard place to be mentally. I want to say first and foremost that while things could be better right now, you are being way too hard on yourself. you are worthy and deserving of love and happyness. The situation you find yourself in is not an indication of your worth as a person. Your worth is not dictated by your financial or professional success and we all deserve the same unconditional love as a newborn babe.

With that out of the way, the financials. There are many avenues to take here and while I totally get how it's easy for us to hyperfixate on the worst case scenarios, at the end of the day you will not be ruined for life or going to jail. At the very worst case you have bad credit for a while. All very fixable long term and you're not going to be applying for a house loan anytime soon - and even if you were, there's always solutions to money problems. I won't get into any details but I can relate to a lot of that and my life has yet to fall apart. You are quite young still and so much time to figure that out, so again don't be too hard on yourself and think you're lesser than. The majority of the world is struggling financially right now, you are not alone.

To top it off, I and many others here are always here to chat and discuss these issues, whether it be mental health or financial or just general life stress. I can tell you with confidence you are a very bright young person with a good heart. You also got a fucking law degree. That is something to be extremely proud of as it's quite the accomplishment.

I can also relate to freezing and feeling hopeless, it sucks. But you can get passed it with repeated effort. Make lists, sometimes that helps.

Regarding the autism and mental health, get tested and be patient, not knowing sucks but at the same time it won't change who you are or how people who love you look at you. tbh i doubt many of us on this board are NOT on the spectrum one way or the other.

Hope this helps even a bit, hang it there.

 

[Vegeta]

Hi Beavz,

First off I am really sorry that you are going through that and that's a very hard place to be mentally. I want to say first and foremost that while things could be better right now, you are being way too hard on yourself. you are worthy and deserving of love and happyness. The situation you find yourself in is not an indication of your worth as a person. Your worth is not dictated by your financial or professional success and we all deserve the same unconditional love as a newborn babe.

With that out of the way, the financials. There are many avenues to take here and while I totally get how it's easy for us to hyperfixate on the worst case scenarios, at the end of the day you will not be ruined for life or going to jail. At the very worst case you have bad credit for a while. All very fixable long term and you're not going to be applying for a house loan anytime soon - and even if you were, there's always solutions to money problems. I won't get into any details but I can relate to a lot of that and my life has yet to fall apart. You are quite young still and so much time to figure that out, so again don't be too hard on yourself and think you're lesser than. The majority of the world is struggling financially right now, you are not alone.

To top it off, I and many others here are always here to chat and discuss these issues, whether it be mental health or financial or just general life stress. I can tell you with confidence you are a very bright young person with a good heart. You also got a fucking law degree. That is something to be extremely proud of as it's quite the accomplishment.

I can also relate to freezing and feeling hopeless, it sucks. But you can get passed it with repeated effort. Make lists, sometimes that helps.

Regarding the autism and mental health, get tested and be patient, not knowing sucks but at the same time it won't change who you are or how people who love you look at you. tbh i doubt many of us on this board are NOT on the spectrum one way or the other.

Hope this helps even a bit, hang it there.

I don’t think I could have said it any better myself than you did Jeff.

Listen to this man, he’s right. Surely with being opening to chatting. I probably ain’t the best to talk about with financial things, unless it’s just someone to vent to and not for advice, cause sadly I don’t have any real experience there. But everything else, I can hopefully be helpful at. Drawing from my own experiences, and what I do to try and ease my own mind and thoughts, to just being someone who will listen to you when you need it. So like Jeff said, you’re not alone, you’re bright, and we love you.

 

[Rosie]

Thanks. It's just been hard. My mom told me Monday next week I need to get up early so we can call my doctor's office to set up an appointment, so I will hopefully do that. I'll see if I need to adjust my meds or other options, (Therapy, God knows I need it but I can't afford it), and ideally, see if I can be refered to someone to run me through some tests. But I still feel a lot of paralysis tonight. Like I have been thinking of drawing, but don't know what. I'd play video games but I don't know what to play, etc. Just, mentally so stuck.

 

[Canadian Dragon]

Winter is also rough

 

[Storm Trooper]

Jeff summed it up pretty much perfectly. What you have accomplished is beyond remarkable. It breaks my heart to hear you're going through all of that. But I'm glad to hear your mom is helping you.

If you ever need to vent feel free to vent to me.

 

[Sabretooth]

You know, I think I might as well make this post, just get a lot of shit off my chest.

For nearly the past year, I have been suffering majorly from anxiety and depression. I also am 99% sure I'm on the spectrum for Autism, something which has been undiagnosed for my 26 years of life which has made coping with life after school difficult. I think I've always had some anxiety, the ability to worry about something seemingly so minor, but I think over the past year, when it has come to doing anything in regard to applying for jobs, studying for the bar exam, anything related to it, I have been constantly paralyzed. After getting one meeting/informal interview with a firm, I sort of fell off and stopped. When I haven't been struggling with that, I tried to throw myself into hobbies. At one point, I was drawing nearly every day for a month, and until recently, I was going ham for stuff in FWA. But I think I've been using all of it as a distraction or a coping tool. Maybe just find something to give myself a little joy. Because it's been very easy for me to go on a spree of self loathing. Words like "Worthless" or "Not good enough" always were part of my vocabulary in regards to those rants. It'd be often associated around the job hunt but at times transitions into just other parts of life and me as a person. Then I'd make some progress working on a resume, applying for a small job to maybe bridge the gap, but get no response or declined. Then I'd be frozen mentally for a few days. I'd make my CV, triple check it, but then stop. I'd think "Look at this, nobody will hire you." And I'd not apply. Or I'd look at a list of jobs and save dozens of them only to maybe apply for one or two.

In December, I sent an email off to an employment counselor to maybe get help with that stuff, only for the email to be an automated thing saying "Fill this out" and there being no link or attachment, leaving myself stuck and being too scared to even pick up the phone. Then add the financial stress of not working for some time and having student loans and your bank breathing down your neck. I got my loans sorted and likely will have a period of relief/non paying of loans while I'm not working, but I've been frozen at the thought of calling my bank or picking up the phone when they call.

As for Autism, look, I know it isn't this bad thing. I've had friends on the spectrum before, I know there's likely members of the site on it as well. It isn't this evil disease or a curse and everyone is different. But I know I have a lot of issues with controlling and understanding my emotions. I have a hard time understanding social cues, even online, and always do something to put my foot in my mouth or say or do something innocently but not thinking of the consequences. I genuinely can think of one situation somewhat recently where it resulted in a friend blocking me and me wanting to yeet myself off a bridge after. Then another where I couldn't understand the intent behind what someone said and let it get to me. I think especially I get "hyperfixated" on things easily. Wrestling (duh), Pokemon, my plushies, baseball, e-feds, when I was really young it was hockey. I'd talk someone's ear off about something, not realizing they don't care, or they tell me to shut up about it. A number of signs are there. But, even if I said it's not a bad thing, it's sort of frustrating because until I get tested for it, I don't want to treat myself as if I have it. I also don't want to use potentially having it as an excuse for saying or doing stupid shit. If I had known sooner, then honestly I'd maybe learn different ways to cope, manage my emotions, maybe I also would have got some accommodations during Law school and that could have made my experience there a touch easier? But maybe I also wouldn't have been as hard on myself for certain mistakes. (Also, a greater percentage of Autistic people identify as LGBTQ, so I guess that might also put my gender dysphoria into context).

The past several months have been just rough, with the past week especially has been rough. I go to bed around 1am, 1:30, get up at 11 half the time (though I blame some on my brother's snoring) because my brain is constantly running it takes so long to calm down and fall asleep. Then during the day when I try to do something productive I just freeze. Then I just resort to lying down for 2-3 hours. Yesterday I opened my resume, made some minor changes, but yet as I was looking at some of those mistakes I kept thinking "Jesus fuck, you show this to someone? Pathetic." And when I was asked if I called the bank, I cried. I actually cried.

Every day I keep thinking about how pathetic I am. I keep thinking I'm this freak or loser. I have thought about certain things I probably shouldn't but no genuine effort to do it, so I guess that's something? But I get asked if I want to do something but I turn it into a whole spree thinking I don't deserve shit, or I'm going to fuck things up in some way. Some fucking way so minor or not, then everyone hates me, or that nobody will care about me that they're better off without me. But I shouldn't think these things. People tell me I'm not, maybe some of you will tell me I'm the opposite and that "Oh, you're just down on your luck, or on this rough patch" and "You're not this horrible person." But it doesn't change the fact I've felt this for months.

I just... I just need fucking help.

Job hunts fucking suck. Trust me I know. I literally applied for over 100 jobs (not even kidding) before getting the one I have right now. I would go through multiple rounds of interviews only to be told they were going with someone else. It was very demoralizing but you gotta keep pushing until you get the one you want and deserve. I’ve been here for almost two years now and the long annoying search was worth it in the end. Not even sending out your resume certainly won’t help and maybe get professional help creating it if you think it’s not good. Shit, I used a resume builder website to create mine. Going to law school is a huge fucking accomplishment. I could certainly never do that shit

I can’t speak on the mental health aspect because I can’t personally relate to those issues that you described but it might be good to speak to a professional and get a diagnosis so at least you have a starting point to make some progress. I’m also available to talk if you need.

 

[Rosie]

Appointment with my family doc booked for Thursday. See about adjusting my medication. Also see what fucking options I got. As of now, definitely had an okay-ish day but as I go to bed starting to feel it a bit.

 

[Rosie]

Here's the update post appointment: My doctor has changed my prescription. Rather than boosting me to the max of my current anti-depressents/anxiety meds, they changed the type and I'll need to gradually switch by taking both. So it'll be medication roulette tomorrow, hope I don't f it up. Sadly I didn't really have time to ask about a potential autism diagnosis, but I know I have a follow-up appointment sometime next month.

She also highly recommended therapy, but once again, I am in a position in which I can't afford it, and I know my family won't be able to afford it as well. So other than that is some general things like "Go out of the house" (GEE! IF ONLY I COULD AFFORD TO DO STUFF OUT OF THE HOUSE!) and "Work on your job hunt, accept anything." and etc. She also recommended hobbies to explore some more, ideally ones with people involved too.

I guess all of this is more a baby step forward, just sadly I don't think it was as much as I'd like.