Takin' a shit in the dark here...

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monkeystyle

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This begs the quintessential shitting question. Do you wipe while sitting or standing?
 

MizMasta3000

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I wipe sitting. Helps make sure I get it all since the seat already has my ass cheeks spreaded out. Gotta be careful sometimes I hit the water.
 

monkeystyle

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There are mad people who wipe while sitting. I find that wiping whilst sitting doesn't allow me to get a proper spread on my ass cheeks for a thorough cleaning.
 

Italian Outsider

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I'm honestly worried I might end up touching my shit while wiping sitting..no thank you.
 

monkeystyle

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The worst is when you have a mad hairy ass and you wipe and you get little fucking nuggets of TP caught in your ass hair. Terrible.
 
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definitely wipe standing up, I don't even know how you'd access your asshole when you're sitting down. For real, yo you just lean forward and do the deeds? Lean to the side? Everybody criss cross?

The other quintessential shitting question is, do you fold your toilet paper, or crumple it?

Personally I've found that my asshole is much cleaner when I go in there with a nicely folded chunk of TP.