S.H.I.T. Reborn - Superstars Having International Tussles (The New Sim League)

[#Waddles]

My guy is fat. (RIP though)

 

[Vampire Quinn]

Looks interesting.

 

[Sky]

SHIT Raditude
Confirmed matches so far...

SHIT Supreme Championship Three-Way Dance
Wade Barrett (Nostradamus) vs. Crush (c) (BattleTank) vs. Hirooki Goto (DC)

SHIT Tag Team Championship
DIFQ (c) (Gurry/Barry) vs. Top Militia (Blaine/Beavie)

Special Six-Man Tag Team Match
JOB Squad International (Wang/Gipper/Sabs) vs. HOOK/Orange Cassidy/Jey Uso (Blaze/Wiseman/Butters)

Falls Count Anywhere Four-Way Elimination Match
The British Bulldog (Dale) vs. Jason Jordan (OMB) vs. Irwin R. Schyster (LHR) vs. Darby Allin (Skyefire)

Eight-Man Tag Team Showcase
World's Fattest Tag Team/Nuclear Test (Chris/#RSF/Looch/Y2Jayne) vs. Bad to Worse/My Dark Son (Booty/Cwalker/Jeff/Cake)

If Mideon Wins Dominik Must Become Naked Dom; If Dominik Wins Naked Mideon Must Be Clothed
Dominik Mysterio (Jimmy King) vs. Naked Mideon (Storm)

The Revived Dungeon of Deezy Debuts Its New Client!
Tyson Kidd (Roy Mustang) vs. ??? (Deezy)​

 

[Sky]

SHIT Raditude

Eight-Man Tag Team Showcase
World's Fattest Tag Team/Nuclear Test (Chris/#RSF/Looch/Y2Jayne) vs. Bad to Worse/My Dark Son (Booty/Cwalker/Jeff/Cake)
The fat bastards dominate early, as does Test... but when it's time for Adam Bomb to tag in, he just drops off the apron and leaves. This leaves Test hanging and allows Dan the Dad to tag out to Scott Hall, for a hot tag, Outsider's Edge to Test, and a win completely against the run of play.
Winners: Bad to Worse/My Dark Son - Time: 11:31

Falls Count Anywhere Four-Way Elimination Match
The British Bulldog (Dale) vs. Jason Jordan (OMB) vs. Irwin R. Schyster (LHR) vs. Darby Allin (Skyefire)
This battle takes them all over the arena. In the crowd, Jason Jordan wraps IRS's leg around the guardrail and wrenches the ankle until he taps, Through the back aisles, Darby takes a Coffin Drop off a concession stand to take out Jordan. And eventually they make it up in the rafters. Bulldog gives a powerslam to Darby... and the rafters completely give out, sending them both flying down and into piled-up tables, chairs, etc. at ringside! Neither man gets up...
Winner: Draw (Bulldog and Darby, Double Knockout) - Time: 19:45

Dominik comes out and explains why he requested this special "Clothes vs. Clothes" match with Naked Mideon. Well, it's drowned out by boos, but essentially he finds Naked Mideon disgusting. His pig body should not be naked. And Dom's willing to risk his own clothing to prove that.

If Mideon Wins Dominik Must Become Naked Dom; If Dominik Wins Naked Mideon Must Be Clothed
Dominik Mysterio (Jimmy King) vs. Naked Mideon (Storm)
Mideon picks all his spots to make Dom look as silly as possible before winning in quick fashion with the Eye-Opener.
Winner: Naked Mideon - Time: 5:16

Post-match Naked Mideon rips off all of Dominik's clothing, sending him running away.

SHIT Tag Team Championship
DIFQ (c) (Gurry/Barry) vs. Top Militia (Blaine/Beavie)
One of the most even and clean matches on this show! Griffin McCoy misses a roundhouse kick on Jacobs, tags in Earthquake, who gets the hot tag and the Earthquake Splash.
Winners: DIFQ - Time: 17:07

A hooded man comes out, announcing the arrival of the new client of the Dungeon of Deezy. The man you once knew as Emory Hale... it is... THE MACHINE!!

The Revived Dungeon of Deezy Debuts Its New Client!
Tyson Kidd (Roy Mustang) vs. The Machine (Deezy)
The Machine tries immediately to go to the top rope but crotches himself. Tyson Kidd dominates from there and puts on the Dungeon Lock for a quick submission.
Winner: Tyson Kidd - Time: 1:32

Special Six-Man Tag Team Match
JOB Squad International (Wang/Gipper/Sabs) vs. HOOK/Orange Cassidy/Jey Uso (Blaze/Wiseman/Butters)
Jey Uso has the match won, and goes for the Uso Splash on a collapsed Ellsworth... but he can't do it! He has too much splash-related trauma! While he's frozen in the corner, the SAMOAN MURDER PARTY come out! Rikishi takes out the referee! Umaga mounts the corner and gives the Samoan Spike to Jey, launching him out and on to the floor! Then Spike for HOOK! Spike for OC! Rikishi drapes Ellsworth over Orange Cassidy!
Winners: JOB Squad International - Time: 13:45

SHIT Supreme Championship Three-Way Dance
Wade Barrett (Nostradamus) vs. Crush (c) (BattleTank) vs. Hirooki Goto (DC)
All fairly even until another masked man arrives. The masked man stares down Crush... and then turns around and attacks Barrett! He attacks Goto! Crush and the masked man give each other a nod, then hit a double chokeslam on Goto... they call it High Times! Crush covers Goto for the win! Wade Barrett is furious!!
Winner: Crush - Time: 12:52

The man we knew as Crush gets on the mic... "You know who we are! None of this Crush and Adam Bomb bullshit! I'm Brian Adams, he's Bryan Clark, we are KroniK! And we rule wrestling!"

Thank you for watching...​

 

[Sky]

SHIT Sweet Insanity
In a huge tag team main event, KroniK take on HOOK and Hammer!
A JOB Squad International team will take on DIFQ for the SHIT Tag Team Championship!
In a match bouncing off the events of Raditude, Yeet My Meat take on the Samoan Murder Party!
Plus, a Junkyard Royale to crown the first SHIT Chaotic Champion! First entrants confirmed: the British Bulldog and Darby Allin!

Coming soon...​

 

[Butters]

SHIT Sweet Insanity
In a huge tag team main event, KroniK take on HOOK and Hammer!
A JOB Squad International team will take on DIFQ for the SHIT Tag Team Championship!
In a match bouncing off the events of Raditude, Yeet My Meat take on the Samoan Murder Party!
Plus, a Junkyard Royale to crown the first SHIT Chaotic Champion! First entrants confirmed: the British Bulldog and Darby Allin!

Coming soon...​

i bet i lose too

 

[Sky]

SHIT Sweet Insanity

We're about to get into our first match, but we're interrupted by Irwin R. Schyster! He's mad. And he's mad because he's heard that the Dungeon of Deezy hasn't been paying its taxes! So he's calling out the Machine to pay up or get beaten!

For the Taxes
Irwin R. Schyster (LHR) vs. The Machine (Deezy)
IRS takes out the Machine's knee and goes straight to the top rope for the Write-Off and win.
Winner: Irwin R. Schyster - Time: 0:36

Post-match, IRS continues to beat on the Machine, and takes away his mask. He challenges anyone else who's been cheating on their taxes... but then HAYSTACKS CALHOUN comes out and lays him out with a slam and leg drop! "That's for the sugar tax, bitch!"

Battle for Momentum Three-Way Elimination Match
Roddy Piper (Lethal) vs. Jake Roberts (Crocker) vs. Jason Jordan (OMB)
Three men battling to get some momentum, as they've had a fairly weak start to their SHIT careers. Roberts pulls out the snake (the animal, not his penis) and bites Piper to knock him out, before hitting the DDT on Jordan. How's that for momentum?
Winner: Jake Roberts - Time: 9:23

Partners of the Junkyard Contenders vs. Up-and-Comers
Bad News Brown/Dan the Dad (Booty/Jeff) vs. Griffin McCoy/Biff Busick (Blaine/BookerMan)
A special match featuring three partners of competitors in the Junkyard Royale and also Biff Busick for some reason. Busick and McCoy showed surprising chemistry here, winning with a top rope half-and-half suplex from Busick.
Winner: Griffin McCoy/Biff Busick - Time: 13:55

Next up, we welcome you to the Junkyard for the Junkyard Royale! A makeshift ring is set up among the twisted metal and gritted stone. A representative of the SHIT Board of Directors explains the rules of the SHIT Chaotic Championship. Matches will be no disqualification, and will never take place in the arena. Exotic locations galore! This match will be pinfall, submission, or knockout inside the junk ring. Let the 10-man Junkyard Royale begin...

Junkyard Royale Match
For the Vacant SHIT Chaotic Championship
Darby Allin (Skyefire) vs. The British Bulldog (Dale) vs. Scott Hall (Cwalker) vs. UltraMantis Black (Cake) vs. Viscera (Chris) vs. Rene Dupree (Beavie) vs. Test (Y2Jayne) vs. Maven (BSE) vs. Hirooki Goto (DC) vs. Tyson Kidd (Roy Mustang)
Absolute chaos. Weapons everywhere. Guys like Test even picking up car parts. UMB connects some rusty metal to his staff. Bulldog and Darby target each other almost exclusively. Elimination order is: Viscera (everyone gangs up to eliminate him), Hirooki Goto (likewise, Goto's a danger in this situation), Test, Scott Hall, Rene Dupree, UltraMantis Black, Darby Allin (eliminated by Bulldog after bloodying him severely with a tyre iron), Maven, and finally Tyson Kidd eliminates Bulldog with a quick roll-up on to a chair!
Winner: Tyson Kidd - Time: 21:41

Tyson Kidd celebrates, bloodied, with the new Chaotic Championship as we get back to the arena. The Samoan Murder Party comes out to promo on Jey Uso. They aren't happy with "YEET". They want him to show his true nature: VIOLENCE. And headbutts. So that's why this match is going ahead...

Tag Team Showcase
Yeet My Meat (Butters/Storm) vs. Samoan Murder Party (RDT/Mando)
Mid-match... NAKED DOMINIK MYSTERIO comes out, wearing only a fanny pack! He savagely targets Naked Mideon, charging him in the ring and dragging him out for a fight! Jey's forced to do this alone, and once again he has to go for the Uso Splash on Rikishi... but he can't. He's got too much trauma. Umaga lifts him off the ropes for a Samoan drop and the win. The Samoans motion for the tag titles. They're going to kill whomever they have to kill to get them.
Winner: Samoan Murder Party - Time: 10:42

Preparations for the tag team title match... the JOB Squad International are about to choose their lineup for this match... when ORANGE CASSIDY COMES OUT OF THE CROWD! Orange Punch off the apron to James Ellsworth! He batters Ellsworth all the way to the back... and so it looks like JOB Squad's choice has been made for them.

SHIT Tag Team Championship Match
DIFQ (Barry/Gurry) (c) vs. Brooklyn Brawler/Rockstar Spud (Wang/Gipper)
The JOB Squad International are clearly outmatched, even without Ellsworth to run interference, and there's no Samoans ex machina to give them a shock win. Earthquake Splash on Brawler is a mercy. DIFQ make their second defence.
Winner: DIFQ - Time: 4:37

Special Tag Team Main Event
KroniK (BattleTank/Looch) vs. HOOK and Hammer (Blaze/Nostradamus)
Barrett's looking for revenge, as he's feeling screwed out of his title! But KroniK put him through the wringer with copious amounts of cheating... eventually, an outside buckle bomb into the ring post sees Barrett stretchered off. Once again this show, it's a 2-on-1 situation. High Times on HOOK finishes it. The KroniK era has begun.
Winner: KroniK - Time: 14:27
​

 

[Butters]

 

[Sky]

One day Jey Uso will get a win.... he will successfully fight the splash trauma

 

[Vegeta]

Hook gave Jey a chance and Jey let Hook down. Maybe Hook should choke a bitch.

 

[Roy Mustang]

Tyson Kidd is the best just got to face the facts

 

[Sky]

Note: for the Chaotic Championship I'm adding special interactivity.

Send me (in PMs) your ideas for places that a Chaotic Title match could take place. The best ones will be prioritised for shots at the Chaotic Title.

 

[Vegeta]

I'm gonna think on some, I already got like one or two ideas. Just depends how crazy you want them places to be lol. But I wanna think of a few more.

 

[Storm Trooper]

I let down my friend Butters and will have to live with that for the rest of my life. My apologies.

 

[Sky]

SHIT Shadow Work
Wade Barrett finally gets his 1-on-1 match with Crush for the SHIT Supreme Championship!
Finally... DIFQ vs. Samoan Murder Party for the SHIT Tag Team Championship!
SHIT Chaotic Champion Tyson Kidd will take on Jake Roberts! The location? The public bathrooms in last show's arena! (thanks @Lance Storm - Naked Mideon will get a Chaotic Title shot once his current storyline is complete)
JOB Squad International looking to gain some momentum, unfortunately it's against the World's Fattest Tag Team! But could they be distracted with IRS on their mind?
The British Bulldog and Darby Allin will decide once and for all who's the more hardcore of them. Winner gets a future shot at the Chaotic Championship!

Coming soon...​