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Killz Previews and Picks Hell In A Cell!

Discussion in 'Reviews & Columns' started by Killz, Oct 24, 2012.

  1. Killz

    Killz Genius - Insanity

    Roll up, roll up, it’s that time of the month again (though I don’t want this to become referred to as Killz’s time of the month ok?) where I make an ill-fated attempt to pick the WWE PPV offering before regaining your respect by at least providing some sort of insight into my horrendous picks. That’s right, Killz Previews and Picks the most destructive of all the one-dimensional, damn-vince-we-shot-ourselves-in-the-foot-again-with-this-one, gimmick PPV’s! Shall we? *ANTI-SPOILER ALERT* Any resemblance to Fridays Smackdown is coincidental and simply my theory, I have not read the spoilers and endeavour not to before this is posted.


    Firstly, hello poster boy! Last month we had Cena…Cena’s redemption...or whatever because that totally ended in quite contentious fashion and since then Cena has had surgery and managed to bury the incoming title match THIS month with his corny shtick. Not to worry, I’m sure Vince knows what he’s doing trying to capture lightning in a bottle with Ryback. It’s not like these mega-pushes can go one of two ways is it? Hey, maybe I’m being harsh, it’s not like the first match between Punk and Ryback on TV will mindlessly be in the destructive Hell in a Cell match based entirely on a pay-per-view stipulation…wait…damn it.


    I’m going to start at the bottom of MY card which means first up we have the TOTALLY SERIOUS AND INTENSE match between Alberto Del Rio and Randy Orton. Now, the problem I have with this match is…ah you know where you get that writers block? Not where you can’t THINK of anything to say but don’t WANT to do it anymore? I’m one paragraph in and this is where I’m at. I can’t wait to deconstruct Sheamus vs the Big Show. The point is this feud has been predominantly run-ins and beatdowns with no real insight as to the mindset of the two guys except “I WANT TO WIN THIS MATCH”. It has also been built exclusively on Smackdown so does that mean they kept ADR away from Raw? Um, no, not really, he shows up inexplicably to win a match and then turns up to Smackdown to get beaten down or something…this is hurting my head.

    Killz Pick: IED, or whatever, and all, Randy “My Hair Cut Should Be The Main Event” Orton.


    Check it out, Divas beat out Orton and Del Rio on my personal card! Why? Well, the unthinkable has happened. The Divas title story actually has some vague coherency. *cue ripple of applause* That's right people, there are actual characters here! Two sympathetic babyfaces, one looking to win back her title, one looking for the shot she never got because of Eve (presumably? Has this come out as fact yet? I'm not so into Smackdown right now) and Eve herself who's been playing this faux face, heel character subtley ruining everything for everyone in order to be champ. Honestly, I like it. It actually makes sense. I expect Eve to keep the title because it seems a little soon to simply drop the strap back to a babyface but damn it feels good to understand why a PPV divas match is taking place! I do have one small complaint. One minor quibble. A lot of the male superstars, the dedicated crafters of matches, struggle to put on a cohesive and entertaining triple threat match. Anyone else worried about the divas doing it? Especially the unproven Kaitlyn....

    Killz Pick: Eve "I...don't really know what to say except sometimes I find her CRAZY hot" Torres!


    I don’t want to sell Kofi and Miz short but given the other matches on the card at the moment this is where they’ll slot in. Honestly the Miz has been on fire recently and I loved his slightly more rugged re-debut he made recently before capturing that IC title that looks just superb over his shoulder when he’s suited and booted. My apparent crush on the Miz aside I haven’t seen a better ‘one night build’ in a long time than watching the Main Event on ION last week. The structure of the show felt fresh more than anything and it completely delivered Kofi a moment that will hopefully spur him on to bigger and better things. Did I think a heel turn was imminent for Kofi? Honestly yes but I’m game for this face-with-a-mean-streak storyline too and I hope he works wonders for it. This is WWE, these guys could be off the card in 6 weeks time but this match is all about hope, hope for some main eventers on the cusp of the glass ceiling, hope for the Miz to continue to be spotlighted and hope that Kofi takes the ball and runs as far as I believe he can. These guys mesh and should have a good PPV match. I expect a couple of recycled spots and a generally short match given it’s less than 2 weeks since they had 45 minutes of a 1 hour show dedicated to them essentially but a good showing nonetheless!

    Killz Pick: Kofi “Sorry Did Your Face Get In The Way Of My Boot?” Kingston!


    Drum roll please!...it’s only a freakin’ tag-title match on pay-per-view with BUILD-UP ladies and gentlemen, real life build! This has been a relatively successful tournament in my eyes. Certainly the current champs have been pretty entertaining throughout even if their deal is sort of plateauing currently. That same plateau of sorts appeared in the middle portion of the tournament where it was clear they were working towards Mysterio/Cara vs Rhodes Scholars and then Mysterio went down with illness BUT it all picked up again this past Monday night with the definitive contenders crowned and dropping some pretty sweet in-ring work and some even sweeter promo time. I’m looking forward to this match because there are some truly excellent workers in there and I need to see more of Sandow on the big stage, I think the guys a born star. I expect Rhodes Scholars to win because WWE actually have a few tag-teams to challenge at the moment and the Rhodes Scholars oddfellows-esque pairing feels like it has more legs than the Kane and Daniel Bryan tandem. Long live the tag division!

    Killz Pick: The Rhodes Scholars. You’re all welcome!


    *audible sigh* I feel like for everything WWE is doing right heading into this PPV (tag division, Kofi/Miz push, main event to a degree) there’s something to drag it back down. Be it using a star currently working on a film to push a show instead of the deluge of actual talent available every week or be it Sheamus vs the Big Show. Don’t get me wrong, I like these guys under contract and on my TV but they suit very particular roles. Sheamus as corny face? No, too much Cena going on there. Too much shtick, not enough aggression. I don’t believe you’re channelling the rage of a thousand celtic warriors Sheamus if you’re smiling the whole damn time! As for the Big Show, he should be THE most utilised enhancement talent on the roster. He should be putting over Ryback right now if you ask me but no, he’s injected into the main event to ensure plenty of rest holds and slow, plodding “psychology” in a world title match. I don’t think that cuts it on todays TV. As for the build? It’s worse here than for ADR and Orton, I’m not going to lie. The story is two impact moves up against one another…except no-one cares. The apathy for the punch-bag game thing on Smackdown to see who hit harder was palpable. This is going to be a bore but I am picking at least an intriguing outcome. Ziggler will leave World Heavyweight Champion. I just can’t pick who he beats…no matter, for this pick I’m going to call Sheamus over Big Show.

    Killz Pick: Sheamus “No Second Name”….


    Well, well, well. Does Vince follow the mega-build formula or does he retain faith in CM Punk? I literally have no idea. I keep looking, as I always do, for those respected in the industry and their opinions. I look particularly to outside sources not under contract (Seth Mates tweets and Chris Jerichos recent interview spring to mind) and I see so many conflicting opinions.

    Let’s get the first thing out of the way. The build has been sort of formulaic but quite good. Ryback spends 2 weeks not getting hold of Punk, then gets booked in the match, then gets hold of Punk all the while Punk chickens his way out of confrontations and looks scared to lose his title. That’s the easy way to book a heel champ vs monster “face”. I could have done without Cena burying the holy hell out of the match and title and Ryback and himself 2 weeks ago but that can’t be helped. Just a quick note to Cena though, the WWE title is the most important thing on the show. Maybe if the Rock is there it’s not but normally, you bet your ass it is, so by claiming you COULD compete but won’t…by claiming Ryback doesn’t even understand the concept of the belt and just wants to fight…you only devalue the title and yourself as a contender. Enjoy your affair storyline.

    Back to the main event and actual outcome…I’m stumped. Part of me wants, and expects to see, change. I expect Vince to get edgy and want to try and capture some of Rybacks momentum in one glorifying moment. If Ryback comes in and DESTROYS Punk…hell, there’s your TV for the next 4 weeks but if Punk weasles his way out a Cell with the gold and Ryback takes a loss or looks like an idiot we see the same thing we’ve seen for a couple of months now with Punk. With the ratings the way they are is that what Vince wants?

    Having said that, look toward the Rumble and the return of the Rock. Look towards Cena post-affair storyline. There have been seeds planted for Punk vs Rock, Punk vs Austin at some point in the future, Cena will get another match, Ryback is hardly going to disappear now…there’s so much LONG term potential in Punk as champ for 1 year + heading into the Rumble and beyond and I think he’s got more in the tank between himself and Paul Heyman so why cut Punk/Cena, Punk/Rock and Punk/Austin hype out from under him for the sake of a guy who hasn’t had a PROPERLY credible win yet (though I expect him to eventually demolish Ziggler on Main Event on ION this week)?

    I’m at a loss. I say Vince tries to pop ratings by playing hot potato with the title and we see the biggest shock in recent history…with PUNK WINNING CLEAN! THAT’S RIGHT, I’M A PAUL HEYMAN GUY!

    Killz Pick: Crooked Moonsault Punk

    That’s that! Thanks for reading and if there’s something announced on Smackdown, which I expect there will be, I will add it either Friday night or in a spoiler tag if I read the spoilers before then. As for my picks, my overall record will be so poor I’m going to start from last month when I returned to WrestlingSmarks and go from there.

    Killz Overall Record: 2 correct -3 wrong – 1 draw type thing…

    ADDENDUM: I'm writing this addendum because I omitted something I felt quite strongly about from the discussion re: Ryback and Punk. It's not about the match strictly so it doesn't fit with the rest of the article but I'm posting it here and now for anyone interested.

    Is anyone else really mind numbingly bored by news sites? I mean seriously, I read something today that was discussing the finish to the Ryback/Punk match and in a nutshell it said there's 2 camps/2 scripts/2 ideas/several finishes floating around for the match. That's what qualifies as insider/exclusive news in the world of wrestling? I feel like I'm missing a trick. It's a PPV main event, of course days before the event there's more than 1 idea being discussed! The article goes on to say "Well Triple H and his team is backing Punk but Vince wants to put the belt on Ryback" which completely plays on more founded articles in the past 6 months or so that play Triple H as the sympathetic new boss who wants to push tag-team wrestling and go back to the good ol' days whereas Vince is infamous for his love of the mega-push and of crazy jacked monster types. I feel like if I published these picks and this article under the guise of a well known wrestling writer people would take it is fact or as founded speculation at least. It's ridiculous. I'm so glad there's no real news function on wrestlingsmarks, it would taint this otherwise excellent community. That is all. Peace.

    Attached Files:

    Last edited: Oct 27, 2012
  2. Dod Draper

    Dod Draper Well-Known Member

    Love your writing as always, Cam.

    I think you've made some pretty solid picks aside from the SWERVE ending. I think the panic button is being pressed and we'll see Ryback as champ.
  3. Killz

    Killz Genius - Insanity

    But everyone loves a good IWC based SWERVE!

    Honestly man to consider it a solid "pick" is being way too generous, I plucked that one ouf of thin air and I guess that's something I didn't really mention in the coloumn, that this PPV actually has legitimate intrigue for me. I buy PPV's for intrigue alone usually, not based on the card because the card doesn't change to much from month to month and they give so much away on TV these days.

    Thanks for commenting bro.
  4. Pete

    Pete Active Member

    This was hilarious to read, even better than last time! Congrats.

    And I do love it when I find a fellow Sheamus hater...and thank you for comparing him to Cena, I got shat on when I did that the other week.
  5. Killz

    Killz Genius - Insanity

    Thanks Pete man, you've always got a place to call home in my preview threads because if Sheamus is on the card you can bet I think he's far too high on the card (as a face anyway).

    Cheers for the comment!
  6. Pete

    Pete Active Member

    What I don't get about Sheamus is how come the IWC is giving him a pass for doing the EXACT SAME THING Cena gets destroyed for doing? Three moves, corny shtick, hokey PG writing, never off our tellies...and yet Cena's a cancer to wrestling and Sheamus isn't? :huh:
  7. Killz

    Killz Genius - Insanity

    I believe it is time my friend, the healer of all wounds. Cena was a superhero so it was cool to hate him. Now it's so commonplace to hate him it's cool to love him. I don't hate or love the guy, much like Sheamus, my opinion on both guys is rooted in absolute apathy but it is what it is. In 2 years time when forums have been inundated with respect and praise for Cena it'll probably become cool to hate him again and the cycle will continue.
  8. Pete

    Pete Active Member

    I am apathetic towards Cena but I've always hated Sheamus, from the very first time his pasty ass performed that stupid finisher on someone 10 times more talented than him.
  9. EffectsofRaven

    EffectsofRaven Well-Known Member

    Sorry, I didn't realise Spot-Monkey's are talented....

    Good review killz but I'm banking on the most overbooked Hell in a Cell ever with Punk/Ryback, imo it's gonna be a car-crash match, but who knows, it's gonna be interesting.
  10. Pete

    Pete Active Member

    Daniel Bryan
    Cody Rhodes
    Dolph Ziggler

    "Spot Monkeys".
  11. EffectsofRaven

    EffectsofRaven Well-Known Member

    Daniel Bryan looked like a gem when he lost to Sheamus, Sheamus winning wasn't a bad call at all, and it was certainly the best way to go about things; Daniel Bryan looks good in defeat or win, is he better than Sheamus, of course; but that doesn't make Sheamus a bad wrestler, considering Daniel Bryan is second best wrestler in WWE.

    Cody Rhodes & Dolph Ziggler have so much unwarranted hype around them, Ziggler is a huge seller, which is great for American Wrestling but he isn't the *better wrestler* than Sheamus, far from it..

    Cody Rhodes, don't even make me laugh.

    Saying Sheamus is like Cena is a huge complement seeing as Cena is the best wrestler in the world.

    Your logic SUCKS ass.
  12. Chris

    Chris It's me, it's me

    Great read, love the humor.

    And once again, Pete, Sheamus doesn't get a pass and Cena doesn't get near as much shit as you seem to think he does.
  13. Deezy

    Deezy Well-Known Member

    According to Puroresu logic, Zigglers amateur skills says otherwise.
  14. EffectsofRaven

    EffectsofRaven Well-Known Member

    Indeed, but people can't pick and choose, when you're looking at American Wrestling, you judge by American standards, and Puroresu standards by Puroresu wrestling...

    Only time you can even think about it is when you compare Misawa & Flair, even that is impossible... So scratch that.
  15. Prodigy

    Prodigy Knee's 2 faces!

    I largely disagree.

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